rabenhorst (
rabenhorst) wrote2011-01-26 02:24 pm
[fic] Kyuhyun/Zhou Mi – SJM – Anyone can cook soup – probably even Kyuhyun – Oneshot
Title: Anyone can cook soup – probably even Kyuhyun
Author:
fonulyn
Rating: PG13 (bad language?)
Pairing: Kyuhyun/Zhou Mi
Disclaimer: I own no one, only my dirty imagination.
Summary: Kyuhyun does not cook. Except for a very, very good reason. He supposes that Zhou Mi counts as one. Also, Heechul is being a pain.
Comments:
I BLAME
applesnapple412 (aka @kyukyumilktea) and that she tweeted this. I was sitting here completely prepared to do some schoolwork or work on one of the other seven fics I have unfinished but then suddenly all I could see in my mind was Kyuhyun in that stupid apron and omg ;___; no. Also Zhou Mi needs love and Kyuhyun gives him some, hur hur hur. Aka 1438 words of nonsense 8D Just… enjoy?
“No. I do not cook.”
Kyuhyun sounds stern and he definitely means it. He does not cook, not after he nearly burned down the whole kitchen and only Heechul’s quick reflexes and a fire extinguisher saved them all from a horrible death (“What the hell is that godawful smell, Kyuhyun? WHY IS THE PAN ON FIRE!?”). All except for the frying pan. Kyuhyun hadn’t even known that metal could bend into such interesting shapes and form modern art with some rice and vegetables. Or whatever he had put into that mix that ended up being The Most Horribly Failed Attempt to Cook. He could’ve made it to the Guinness book of world records with that, he is certain.
After that he hadn’t cooked. And no one had even asked him to. Unless one counts the time when he successfully opened the plastic wrapping from around a frozen pizza and shoved it into the oven. Though arguably it doesn’t really count. He would’ve burned the pizza even then had it not been for Henry, who coincidentally happened to notice the soon-to-be-burned food in the oven and salvaged it before it was too late.
Long story short, Kyuhyun does not cook. Not even when there is the world’s most brilliant puppy-dog look directed straight at him, sweet lips pursed to a pout and big clear eyes blinking, begging for him to say ‘yes’. Not even when a theatrical “aw buuut Kui Xian I’m sick!” is thrown at him – goddamn it! It should be illegal for a grown man to be so friggin’ adorable.
“That was a low blow!” Kyuhyun rolls his eyes and puffs out an irritated grunt. “Fine. What do you want.”
It also should be illegal for a single “Soup!” to sound so happy and cheery. Especially when Zhou Mi really is sick and sounds like he can’t really even breathe, much less properly eat.
Resigned to his fate, Kyuhyun wraps Zhou Mi into a thick blanket and orders him to stay on the couch, before vanishing into the kitchen.
--
“What is going on here?” Heechul looks suspicious as he walks in, eyeing the human spring roll on the couch. “Who is making all that noise in the kitchen?” No one should even be here right now to his knowledge, well except for him and Zhou Mi and neither of them is doing the cooking, obviously.
“I’m sick,” Zhou Mi announces theatrically, like it’s big news considering how his nose is fiery red and his whole face is flushed, not to mention his voice sounding like a mixture between a creaking door and someone pretending to be sick in a bad romantic comedy. “I didn’t want to be alone so Kui Xian told me to come over and – ”
“No shit, Sherlock. I can see you’re sick and okay Kyuhyun asked you over, but – ”
“Oh he didn’t really ask me over. It was more like ‘Zhou Mi if you show your gangly limbs here and try to make me sick too I’m going to throw you out of the window’ but he took some time off and I knew he meant it as ‘please come over I want to take care of you’ so I – ”
“Fine.” Heechul rolls his eyes and cuts off the feverish babbling with a hand gesture (it was getting quite headache-inducing to try and decipher that gibberish anyway), although it is getting increasingly more difficult to hold back his grin. Oh he has such a good taste in friends. Plus he’s trained his Seasoning well. “So you came here to be pampered. But what is Kyuhyun doing? Getting you ice cream?” That would be the only logical reason why he’d be in the kitchen.
“Oh he is making me soup!” Zhou Mi’s eyes look a bit clearer at that, and for a second he doesn’t look sick at all, only happy. Until he has to blow his nose (with such a big nose it’s a wonder one tissue is enough) and that completely ruins the picture.
“You do know that is kind of disgusting, you could warn me beforehand,” Heechul starts, pulling a face as he theatrically covers his eyes with his hand. Only to snap his attention right back at Zhou Mi the next second. “He is doing what? Don’t tell me you let him in the kitchen!”
The sheepish smile Zhou Mi gives him is plenty enough of an answer.
--
Eventually Heechul decides that as long as he keeps the fire extinguisher close enough at hand there won’t be any real danger. Besides it’s way too much fun to force Kyuhyun into a frilly, flowery apron and watch him grumble and bitch and moan about it. Zhou Mi is surprised – but not any less thrilled – that it even works out but Heechul just waves him off with a smug grin and a “I have my ways, Seasoning, I can blackmail anyone to anything.”
Heechul also insists that Zhou Mi shouldn’t miss the show and makes Kyuhyun help him so they can drag a comfortable armchair into the small kitchen. Finally everything is set, Zhou Mi smiling happily from his armchair, still wrapped in the blankets so that one can only see his face from the cocoon. Heechul is sitting on the counter, swaying his legs as he enjoys taking stabs at their ChefKyu, ruthlessly mocking him for every little mistake he makes.
“You know, Chul, you could actually help me instead of watching me screw this up,” Kyuhyun bursts out at one point, a large wooden spoon in one hand and the other placed on his hip as he does his best impression of a frustrated housewife. The soup is nearly boiling over and he notices it with a loud yelp, spinning around to quickly try to stir it, salvage it, anything to keep it edible.
“Oh, that wouldn’t be even half as much fun!” Heechul explains, raising his phone to snap a picture.
Zhou Mi giggles. “You should blog that.”
Kyuhyun rolls his eyes.
--
It takes hours for the food to be done and by the time Kyuhyun finally lifts the pot on the table they’ve had half a dozen curious watchers stop by in the kitchen. The reactions varied from Ryeowook’s worried “Make sure he won’t ruin the kitchen. Or kill himself.” (“Oh geez thank you for being more concerned about the kitchen than me.” “Shut up Kyuhyun.”) to Donghae’s excited “Can I taste it too?” (“You’re out of your mind.” “Shut up Heechul.”) to Siwon’s “I can’t watch this.” (“Get on your knees and pray it all goes well.” “Shut up Heechul.”)
Heechul tries to get to taste it first but Kyuhyun elbows him away, more or less elegantly stepping on his way to stand protectively between the soup and his friend. Or once-a-friend anyway, he’s not quite sure if he will ever forgive him the apron. Not in this life.
“Zhou Mi is the one who’s sick.” Kyuhyun looks at Heechul pointedly. “Being sick in the head doesn’t count.”
“Ha ha. Very funny.” Heechul rolls his eyes but steps back anyway, heaving himself on the kitchen counter on his new favourite spot.
Kyuhyun pointedly avoids looking at Zhou Mi as he fills a bowl with some soup and hands it to him. Or tries to, until he realizes that Zhou Mi’s arms and hands are effectively wrapped into the blankets as well and he can’t move an inch.
“Fine,” he sighs. The eyeroll is clear for everyone, but Kyuhyun manages to hide the smile that stubbornly appears on his lips. He is thankful that no one can see the little flip his heart does in his chest. “I’ll help.” He lifts the spoon, carefully blowing on it before bringing it to Zhou Mi’s still smiling lips.
--
It tastes like charcoal mixed with all kinds of gross. Zhou Mi loves it anyway.
He says that out loud when Kyuhyun tucks him into bed – Kyuhyun’s bed; he stubbornly insisted that Zhou Mi was too sick to go home anyway and it wasn’t the first time he’d have to sleep in the same bed with all those gangly legs. (Zhou Mi thinks that makes him sound like an octopus, although he doesn’t have more legs than any human being. Kyuhyun tells him his legs are long enough to count double.)
Kyuhyun tells him to shut up. But he gets in bed right next to his human spring roll anyway, wordlessly sneaking an arm around him.
When Zhou Mi asks him to make more soup tomorrow, he grunts.
It’s a definite yes.
Zhou Mi smiles.
---
I apologize for the fail D8 I just wrote it in one go and I don’t have enough brain activity to judge if it’s decent anymore.
...I have nothing more to say ;_____; ChefKyu ♥
Feel free to add our journal if you like the stories! Plus, the archive.
EDITED TO ADD; OMG I JUST BURNED TWO SLICES OF TOAST IN THE KITCHEN AND NOW THE WHOLE KITCHEN IS FULL OF BLACK SMOKE AND THE FIREALARM IS GOING BEEPBEEPBEEP MADLY AND WOKE UP MY FATHER AND I'M TRYING TO GET RID OF THE SMOKE.
I think this is a punishment for making fun of Kyuhyun's cooking D: I'M SORRY KYUBB. I AM!
Author:
Rating: PG13 (bad language?)
Pairing: Kyuhyun/Zhou Mi
Disclaimer: I own no one, only my dirty imagination.
Summary: Kyuhyun does not cook. Except for a very, very good reason. He supposes that Zhou Mi counts as one. Also, Heechul is being a pain.
Comments:
I BLAME
“No. I do not cook.”
Kyuhyun sounds stern and he definitely means it. He does not cook, not after he nearly burned down the whole kitchen and only Heechul’s quick reflexes and a fire extinguisher saved them all from a horrible death (“What the hell is that godawful smell, Kyuhyun? WHY IS THE PAN ON FIRE!?”). All except for the frying pan. Kyuhyun hadn’t even known that metal could bend into such interesting shapes and form modern art with some rice and vegetables. Or whatever he had put into that mix that ended up being The Most Horribly Failed Attempt to Cook. He could’ve made it to the Guinness book of world records with that, he is certain.
After that he hadn’t cooked. And no one had even asked him to. Unless one counts the time when he successfully opened the plastic wrapping from around a frozen pizza and shoved it into the oven. Though arguably it doesn’t really count. He would’ve burned the pizza even then had it not been for Henry, who coincidentally happened to notice the soon-to-be-burned food in the oven and salvaged it before it was too late.
Long story short, Kyuhyun does not cook. Not even when there is the world’s most brilliant puppy-dog look directed straight at him, sweet lips pursed to a pout and big clear eyes blinking, begging for him to say ‘yes’. Not even when a theatrical “aw buuut Kui Xian I’m sick!” is thrown at him – goddamn it! It should be illegal for a grown man to be so friggin’ adorable.
“That was a low blow!” Kyuhyun rolls his eyes and puffs out an irritated grunt. “Fine. What do you want.”
It also should be illegal for a single “Soup!” to sound so happy and cheery. Especially when Zhou Mi really is sick and sounds like he can’t really even breathe, much less properly eat.
Resigned to his fate, Kyuhyun wraps Zhou Mi into a thick blanket and orders him to stay on the couch, before vanishing into the kitchen.
“What is going on here?” Heechul looks suspicious as he walks in, eyeing the human spring roll on the couch. “Who is making all that noise in the kitchen?” No one should even be here right now to his knowledge, well except for him and Zhou Mi and neither of them is doing the cooking, obviously.
“I’m sick,” Zhou Mi announces theatrically, like it’s big news considering how his nose is fiery red and his whole face is flushed, not to mention his voice sounding like a mixture between a creaking door and someone pretending to be sick in a bad romantic comedy. “I didn’t want to be alone so Kui Xian told me to come over and – ”
“No shit, Sherlock. I can see you’re sick and okay Kyuhyun asked you over, but – ”
“Oh he didn’t really ask me over. It was more like ‘Zhou Mi if you show your gangly limbs here and try to make me sick too I’m going to throw you out of the window’ but he took some time off and I knew he meant it as ‘please come over I want to take care of you’ so I – ”
“Fine.” Heechul rolls his eyes and cuts off the feverish babbling with a hand gesture (it was getting quite headache-inducing to try and decipher that gibberish anyway), although it is getting increasingly more difficult to hold back his grin. Oh he has such a good taste in friends. Plus he’s trained his Seasoning well. “So you came here to be pampered. But what is Kyuhyun doing? Getting you ice cream?” That would be the only logical reason why he’d be in the kitchen.
“Oh he is making me soup!” Zhou Mi’s eyes look a bit clearer at that, and for a second he doesn’t look sick at all, only happy. Until he has to blow his nose (with such a big nose it’s a wonder one tissue is enough) and that completely ruins the picture.
“You do know that is kind of disgusting, you could warn me beforehand,” Heechul starts, pulling a face as he theatrically covers his eyes with his hand. Only to snap his attention right back at Zhou Mi the next second. “He is doing what? Don’t tell me you let him in the kitchen!”
The sheepish smile Zhou Mi gives him is plenty enough of an answer.
Eventually Heechul decides that as long as he keeps the fire extinguisher close enough at hand there won’t be any real danger. Besides it’s way too much fun to force Kyuhyun into a frilly, flowery apron and watch him grumble and bitch and moan about it. Zhou Mi is surprised – but not any less thrilled – that it even works out but Heechul just waves him off with a smug grin and a “I have my ways, Seasoning, I can blackmail anyone to anything.”
Heechul also insists that Zhou Mi shouldn’t miss the show and makes Kyuhyun help him so they can drag a comfortable armchair into the small kitchen. Finally everything is set, Zhou Mi smiling happily from his armchair, still wrapped in the blankets so that one can only see his face from the cocoon. Heechul is sitting on the counter, swaying his legs as he enjoys taking stabs at their ChefKyu, ruthlessly mocking him for every little mistake he makes.
“You know, Chul, you could actually help me instead of watching me screw this up,” Kyuhyun bursts out at one point, a large wooden spoon in one hand and the other placed on his hip as he does his best impression of a frustrated housewife. The soup is nearly boiling over and he notices it with a loud yelp, spinning around to quickly try to stir it, salvage it, anything to keep it edible.
“Oh, that wouldn’t be even half as much fun!” Heechul explains, raising his phone to snap a picture.
Zhou Mi giggles. “You should blog that.”
Kyuhyun rolls his eyes.
It takes hours for the food to be done and by the time Kyuhyun finally lifts the pot on the table they’ve had half a dozen curious watchers stop by in the kitchen. The reactions varied from Ryeowook’s worried “Make sure he won’t ruin the kitchen. Or kill himself.” (“Oh geez thank you for being more concerned about the kitchen than me.” “Shut up Kyuhyun.”) to Donghae’s excited “Can I taste it too?” (“You’re out of your mind.” “Shut up Heechul.”) to Siwon’s “I can’t watch this.” (“Get on your knees and pray it all goes well.” “Shut up Heechul.”)
Heechul tries to get to taste it first but Kyuhyun elbows him away, more or less elegantly stepping on his way to stand protectively between the soup and his friend. Or once-a-friend anyway, he’s not quite sure if he will ever forgive him the apron. Not in this life.
“Zhou Mi is the one who’s sick.” Kyuhyun looks at Heechul pointedly. “Being sick in the head doesn’t count.”
“Ha ha. Very funny.” Heechul rolls his eyes but steps back anyway, heaving himself on the kitchen counter on his new favourite spot.
Kyuhyun pointedly avoids looking at Zhou Mi as he fills a bowl with some soup and hands it to him. Or tries to, until he realizes that Zhou Mi’s arms and hands are effectively wrapped into the blankets as well and he can’t move an inch.
“Fine,” he sighs. The eyeroll is clear for everyone, but Kyuhyun manages to hide the smile that stubbornly appears on his lips. He is thankful that no one can see the little flip his heart does in his chest. “I’ll help.” He lifts the spoon, carefully blowing on it before bringing it to Zhou Mi’s still smiling lips.
It tastes like charcoal mixed with all kinds of gross. Zhou Mi loves it anyway.
He says that out loud when Kyuhyun tucks him into bed – Kyuhyun’s bed; he stubbornly insisted that Zhou Mi was too sick to go home anyway and it wasn’t the first time he’d have to sleep in the same bed with all those gangly legs. (Zhou Mi thinks that makes him sound like an octopus, although he doesn’t have more legs than any human being. Kyuhyun tells him his legs are long enough to count double.)
Kyuhyun tells him to shut up. But he gets in bed right next to his human spring roll anyway, wordlessly sneaking an arm around him.
When Zhou Mi asks him to make more soup tomorrow, he grunts.
It’s a definite yes.
Zhou Mi smiles.
---
I apologize for the fail D8 I just wrote it in one go and I don’t have enough brain activity to judge if it’s decent anymore.
...I have nothing more to say ;_____; ChefKyu ♥
Feel free to add our journal if you like the stories! Plus, the archive.
EDITED TO ADD; OMG I JUST BURNED TWO SLICES OF TOAST IN THE KITCHEN AND NOW THE WHOLE KITCHEN IS FULL OF BLACK SMOKE AND THE FIREALARM IS GOING BEEPBEEPBEEP MADLY AND WOKE UP MY FATHER AND I'M TRYING TO GET RID OF THE SMOKE.
I think this is a punishment for making fun of Kyuhyun's cooking D: I'M SORRY KYUBB. I AM!

no subject
no subject
Thank you! ♥ I'm glad you enjoyed. heehehehe that line quite wrote itself 8D
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
no subject
this is.. cute, adorable, funny, lovely, amazing - all in one package!
i can't say nothing less.. :)
you make me smile and chuckle and laugh out loud with this..
Thank you for sharing this..
may I add you? /hopeful
no subject
no subject
So thank you for writing this awesomeness. It's adorable!
I quite like shipping QMi actually xD and aww you did a good job with Chulio!
Thank youuu
no subject
You like?
then you should go read the other one I wrote 8D *coughs*They're adorable and totally meant to be 8DThank you! ♥
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
(no subject)
no subject
*i burned my own kitchen because of it*
anyway. love this sooo much!! zhoumi!why so adorable...
no subject
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed! :D
no subject
d'awwww love does weird things to brains
no subject
Thanks for reading! :D
no subject
Zhou Mi thinks that makes him sound like an octopus, although he doesn’t have more legs than any human being. Kyuhyun tells him his legs are long enough to count double. OCTOPUS!MI orz. i just had to lol at this line!
mimi will always be prettier than an octopus though.i'm seriously tempted to quote your whole fic but that's just ridiculous so...
thank you for making my night~
and do write more QMi preaaase. the world needs more QMi loving. ♥
no subject
...and why do I now have weird, weird ideas for octopus!Mi fics? I'm sick in the head XD Aw but he would be the world's prettiest octopus! Definitely!
Awwwww and thank youuuuu~ ♥ Your comment made me smile like an idiot! 8D I'm still grinning! So thank you for making mine XD
Oh and I'm surely going to write more, these two are addictive :3 And pure love! ♥
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
no subject
no subject
And now I'm also with apron!kyu printed all over my brain.
no subject
no subject
It tastes like charcoal mixed with all kinds of gross. Zhou Mi loves it anyway. --> Are you sure Mimi, reaaallyyy sure? Because that sounds absolutely disgusting. lol I loved that ep of foresight - everyone, especially Teukie, was so surprised to taste it and realize that it actually was good
or maybe Kyu just blackmailed them into forcing it down>.>This is the perfect way to finish off my stupid math midterm - thank you so much!~ :3
no subject
I bet it is disgusting but then again, Mimi has a lot of love to share! 8D He can choke down bad soup. Especially if he's sick and can't taste anything *coughs* 8D haha and I loved it too, so Kyu isn't exactly THAT hopeless of a cook XD ...or then yes he used blackmail.
Thank you for reading and commenting! I'm glad you liked! :D
no subject
I can totally picture him doing this while eating the soup even if tastes bad! :33
no subject
AND HOW ADORABLE IS THAT OMG! ♥ ♥ ♥ That man is pure concentrated sunshine and awwwhghsss ;____; ♥
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
no subject
no subject
no subject
Zhou Mi’s eyes look a bit clearer at that, and for a second he doesn’t look sick at all, only happy. Until he has to blow his nose (with such a big nose it’s a wonder one tissue is enough)
^ My favorite line by far lmfao.
This was so sweet omg. Ofc Zhou Mi would love Kyu's cooking no matter how it tasted and would even ask for more <3
no subject
no subject
YOU ARE AMAJING OKAY.
YES MIMI LOVES KYUHYUN'S COOKING EVEN THOUGH KYUHYUN'S COOKING MAY NOT BE SAFE BUT IT'S OKAY. /IT'S ALL OKAY/. SOBS. CONTINUES SOBBING ;O;
<3
no subject
Kyuhyun's cooking might not be safe but it comes straight from the heart! ♥ And he would never really poison Mimi. Intentionally.
and I'm sure he'd be willing to give him some mouth-to-mouth resuscitation if neededAND NOW THAT _I_ AM SICK, WHERE IS KYUHYUN AND THAT AWFUL SOUP? ;____; I need some too. Not fair.
Thank youuu~ <3