rabenhorst (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rabenhorst) wrote2011-01-18 06:22 pm
rabenhorst) wrote2011-01-18 06:22 pm
Entry tags:
Resident Evil, anyone? XD
Title: Torn Between Two Fires
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fonulyn
Rating: PG13
Pairing: Chris/Leon, Leon/Ada
Disclaimer: I own no one, only my dirty imagination.
Summary: Why is it so hard to figure out what it is you really want?
Comments:
This is dedicated toravanna since she’s the only one I share this fandom with *laughs* I’m sorry honey, it’s not really the first kiss you requested (that’ll follow later ;)) but I thought you might enjoy it anyway. And I hope you don’t mind the bits of Leon/Ada there ;___; And and and… I like it? 8D For what it’s worth *coughs* I should stop blathering, yes.
For as long as Chris remembers, there has been two ways to get Leon all flustered and make him clamp up completely out of reach. Way number one; bring up his undefined relationship – which can’t really even be labeled as a relationship, more as something unreachable, a itch he didn’t reach to scratch – with a certain bitch in a red dress. Leon would tense within a split second, the set of his jaw clenched tight and the muscles in his back flexing under his thin shirt. It hadn’t taken Chris long to figure out she was a topic never suitable to be brought up.
Way number two? That is something Chris had to snort at. Since way number two is he himself. Chris fucking Redfield. Sometimes he doesn’t even do it on purpose when he manages to make an untouchable cool like Leon stutter, stumble on his words and curse it under his breath right afterwards. It is easy, way too easy. At least on the surface, since what is lying beneath that… it is so scary that Chris doesn’t allow himself to think of it.
He has no words to define what is there anyway.
Sometimes he thinks he does. When they’re both lying still, his palm resting on Leon’s hip and his breath tickling the nape of his neck. When there’s comfortable silence between them and neither of them has to break it, the only sound in the air being their breathing. When he is lingering in the state between awake and asleep, and when nothing seems to be quite so scary anymore.
Then he thinks he knows what it is, that thing between them. But he doesn’t dare to say it out loud since it might break something. It might make the lingering moment vanish. And that is something he can not risk. He can’t risk not feeling that skin underneath his fingertips anymore, can’t risk being allowed to sink into the other man and forget himself, forget the past and the present and the future.
He needs it. He needs him.
Sometimes Chris can’t take it.
"What is she to you anyway?" He snaps although he doesn’t really mean to, and it’s too late to take it back when he watches Leon flinch just barely noticeably.
There is silence. Chilling, icy silence that stretches on until it feels like it might just suffocate them both. Leon is just looking at him, looking at him with those pale eyes that hide so much behind them. He can only guess what the burden Leon carries on his shoulders is, knowing only glimpses of it. And he doesn’t dare to ask.
“She is like a part of me I can’t let go,” he answers finally, his voice soft and barely audible. There is almost a pleading look in his eyes, tiredness to his smile as he looks at Chris and wordlessly asks him to understand.
Chris doesn’t mention it again. Maybe once, he thinks. Once the time is right.
Leon doesn’t lie. He might choose not to tell everything, and sometimes he does not answer. But he never lies. Not to people close to him, the ones he needs more than he needs to breathe. Even if he isn’t willing to admit that to anyone. And even if there are only very, very few of them.
Sometimes, he remembers the hazy moment, the way her fingers pressed against the side of his neck and how she was holding on to his jacket almost tight enough to rip it. He remembers her scent, the softness of her lips and the way her body was yielding against his own. He remembers a hot mouth and burning eyes, challenge to touch and to back off, at the same time.
It startles him that even thinking of it now, he can re-live it like it happened yesterday.
Even more, it startles him that thinking of it makes his mind drift off to another moment, very similar and yet completely different. He remembers a large palm on his hip, rough fingertips grazing against the skin of his back where his shirt was pushed upwards. He remembers a hot breath, the taste of coffee and spearmint, the smell of sweat closing in on him. He remembers his head spinning, his knees going weak and a rough whisper of “don’t leave yet” in his ear.
Leon’s eyes snap open and he has to stop thinking, has to empty his mind completely.
For a long moment he simply stares out of the window, not even blinking. Even afterwards, he has no idea what the hell is going on inside of him. It’s all getting more confusing the more he thinks of it.
Maybe, insists a small part of his brains he silences very effectively, he should stop thinking and start feeling instead.
Author:
fonulynRating: PG13
Pairing: Chris/Leon, Leon/Ada
Disclaimer: I own no one, only my dirty imagination.
Summary: Why is it so hard to figure out what it is you really want?
Comments:
This is dedicated to
ravanna since she’s the only one I share this fandom with *laughs* I’m sorry honey, it’s not really the first kiss you requested (that’ll follow later ;)) but I thought you might enjoy it anyway. And I hope you don’t mind the bits of Leon/Ada there ;___; And and and… I like it? 8D For what it’s worth *coughs* I should stop blathering, yes.For as long as Chris remembers, there has been two ways to get Leon all flustered and make him clamp up completely out of reach. Way number one; bring up his undefined relationship – which can’t really even be labeled as a relationship, more as something unreachable, a itch he didn’t reach to scratch – with a certain bitch in a red dress. Leon would tense within a split second, the set of his jaw clenched tight and the muscles in his back flexing under his thin shirt. It hadn’t taken Chris long to figure out she was a topic never suitable to be brought up.
Way number two? That is something Chris had to snort at. Since way number two is he himself. Chris fucking Redfield. Sometimes he doesn’t even do it on purpose when he manages to make an untouchable cool like Leon stutter, stumble on his words and curse it under his breath right afterwards. It is easy, way too easy. At least on the surface, since what is lying beneath that… it is so scary that Chris doesn’t allow himself to think of it.
He has no words to define what is there anyway.
Sometimes he thinks he does. When they’re both lying still, his palm resting on Leon’s hip and his breath tickling the nape of his neck. When there’s comfortable silence between them and neither of them has to break it, the only sound in the air being their breathing. When he is lingering in the state between awake and asleep, and when nothing seems to be quite so scary anymore.
Then he thinks he knows what it is, that thing between them. But he doesn’t dare to say it out loud since it might break something. It might make the lingering moment vanish. And that is something he can not risk. He can’t risk not feeling that skin underneath his fingertips anymore, can’t risk being allowed to sink into the other man and forget himself, forget the past and the present and the future.
He needs it. He needs him.
Sometimes Chris can’t take it.
"What is she to you anyway?" He snaps although he doesn’t really mean to, and it’s too late to take it back when he watches Leon flinch just barely noticeably.
There is silence. Chilling, icy silence that stretches on until it feels like it might just suffocate them both. Leon is just looking at him, looking at him with those pale eyes that hide so much behind them. He can only guess what the burden Leon carries on his shoulders is, knowing only glimpses of it. And he doesn’t dare to ask.
“She is like a part of me I can’t let go,” he answers finally, his voice soft and barely audible. There is almost a pleading look in his eyes, tiredness to his smile as he looks at Chris and wordlessly asks him to understand.
Chris doesn’t mention it again. Maybe once, he thinks. Once the time is right.
Leon doesn’t lie. He might choose not to tell everything, and sometimes he does not answer. But he never lies. Not to people close to him, the ones he needs more than he needs to breathe. Even if he isn’t willing to admit that to anyone. And even if there are only very, very few of them.
Sometimes, he remembers the hazy moment, the way her fingers pressed against the side of his neck and how she was holding on to his jacket almost tight enough to rip it. He remembers her scent, the softness of her lips and the way her body was yielding against his own. He remembers a hot mouth and burning eyes, challenge to touch and to back off, at the same time.
It startles him that even thinking of it now, he can re-live it like it happened yesterday.
Even more, it startles him that thinking of it makes his mind drift off to another moment, very similar and yet completely different. He remembers a large palm on his hip, rough fingertips grazing against the skin of his back where his shirt was pushed upwards. He remembers a hot breath, the taste of coffee and spearmint, the smell of sweat closing in on him. He remembers his head spinning, his knees going weak and a rough whisper of “don’t leave yet” in his ear.
Leon’s eyes snap open and he has to stop thinking, has to empty his mind completely.
For a long moment he simply stares out of the window, not even blinking. Even afterwards, he has no idea what the hell is going on inside of him. It’s all getting more confusing the more he thinks of it.
Maybe, insists a small part of his brains he silences very effectively, he should stop thinking and start feeling instead.
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