[fic] Minho/Key – SHINee – Forbidden Fire – Part 1/2

[rabenhorst]

Title: Forbidden Fire – Part 1/2
Author: fonulyn
Rating: PG13
Pairing: girl!Minho/Key (Minjung/Gwiboon), onesided Onew/Minjung, Gwiboon/OC
Warnings: fluffy angst, what was it called? flangst? ;)
Wordcount: 7104 (this chapter, 14 152 overall)
Disclaimer: I own no one, only my dirty imagination.
Summary: Minjung is in love with her brother’s wife. (Sequel to Secret Dreams but can stand alone.)
Comments: This fic is my baby, I’ve obsessed over it for the past six months so here, I sincerely hope you enjoy it ;; Also huge thanks to everyone who kicked my butt into gear while working on this, especially koukaiaru ♥

Some things never change. One of those things is Minjung’s neverending hatred for parties. When she was a teenager, every single social gathering consisted of her mother trying to find her a suitable fiancé. She had to pretend she was interested, smile politely, look as pretty as possible and try to stomach the looks the much older men gave her. Even if some suitors were close to her own age she never felt any pull towards them, only indifference and annoyance at the whole situation. Now, it’s almost worse. Minjung doesn’t need to endure those awkward introductions anymore, trying to pretend she’s the perfect housewife, a prize for anyone to catch. Ever since she turned twenty-six she’s been a hopeless case, a lost cause that’s been given up on. It should be a relief, but it isn’t, not with the disapproving looks, the cold disappointment in her mother’s eyes. That’s what makes Minjung flee as soon as the dancing starts. She manages to find a somewhat secluded corner, sits down, and tries to make herself as invisible as possible. At least when she was younger she had Gwiboon, could sneak away together with her, or at least sit down and chat until they were whisked off to dance. Now Gwiboon is a married woman, accompanied by her husband and their little daughter, and can’t spend the evening making it more bearable for Minjung. With a huge sigh Minjung tries to see Gwiboon through the crowd. She only spots Changho, but she’s sure Gwiboon is somewhere close by her husband. It’s irrational, Minjung knows that, but she can’t help but feel a little sting at that. She sighs, finally averting her eyes not to get caught staring. Except she’s too late. As she straightens she’s face to face with a brilliant smile, and a friendly sparkle in deep chocolate eyes. “Good evening, Minjung. Aren’t you in the mood for a dance?” It’s sort of admonishing, but at the same time Minjung knows there’s not a single hostile bone in this man’s body so she smiles at him. “Not really, Doctor Lee. I’m not that great of a dancer, I was hoping to get away with it tonight.” Laughing, Doctor Lee takes the nearest chair and drags it a little bit closer, sitting down next to Minjung. He’s young and handsome, and if he was anyone else but the doctor he’d be looked at oddly for accompanying a young lady like that. His occupation, however, grants him a certain advantages, certain trust in the eyes of the society, and he’s been nothing but reliable. “Please, Minjung. It’s Jinki.” “I’ll try to keep that in mind,” she chuckles, as she already feels her spirits lifted. It’s as if Jinki’s good mood is contagious. It’s the same instantaneous effect he had when they lived together for a couple of months, as the new doctor in town was invited to occupy a guestroom in her childhood home until he found better accommodation. It’s then that Minjung catches sight of Gwiboon, even if it’s only for a second. She is beautiful in her periwinkle blue dress, as she’s holding her daughter’s hand and talking with none other than Minjung’s mother. The sight, as mundane as it is, makes something twist in Minjung’s gut and she doesn’t even realize she’s frowning again before Jinki cuts in. “It seems like there’s something on your mind?” he asks, conversationally. It’s vague enough that she can just wave it aside, but she knows he wouldn’t mind hearing the actual reasons, either. If only those reasons were anything Minjung could ever tell, to anyone. I’m in love with my brother’s wife. Instead, Minjung tears her eyes off the crowd and turns to face Jinki better. “I just wanted to see if Gwiboon and Changho brought Miyun. She is growing up so fast.” “I know,” Jinki laughs, “I was there when she was born. Two years seems like nothing.” “Two years is nothing,” Minjung says. She averts her gaze down to her fingers, toys with the ring she got from her mother when she got into her teens. Back when her mother still had high hopes for her future marriage. “And yet, it’s a whole lifetime,” she adds, more quietly. There’s silence, for a moment, before Jinki speaks up. “You seem lonely.” His voice is low, private, and the words are clearly meant only for the two of them. It makes Minjung stop. Is she? Gwiboon marrying changed their lives so much, and her having a child changed things even more. It’s like Minjung doesn’t even know the person she was before all this. She misses all those carefree summers together with Gwiboon, she misses sharing the same bed for sleepovers, she misses the overall closeness. Even though it’s better now than it was right after the marriage, when they went through a rough patch of barely talking. Things felt incredibly awkward, neither of them knew how to handle all of these feelings in a completely new situation. Only when Miyun was born the imaginary wall between them seemed to melt away. Of course things are different now. But they’re no less close than they used to be, and Minjung finds solace in that. Besides, she adores Miyun, as well as knows how the little girl is the light of Gwiboon’s life, and gets to live so near she can visit whenever she likes. “Things could be worse,” Minjung says finally, careful not to say anything that might betray her actual thoughts. Jinki smiles, softly. “Would you like to dance?” Grateful for the distraction, Minjung takes the offered hand. The distraction turns out to be surprisingly pleasant, as Jinki isn’t only a good dancer but also unassuming and nice in every possible sense. It is also very much needed, seeing that for the next two weeks Minjung is stuck at home, unable to go anywhere from under her mother’s watchful eye. It’s always like this after a bigger gathering, if Minjung has disappointed her mother once again with not having a herd of handsome young men flocking around her to ask for her hand in marriage. Minjung has already given up on trying to understand her mother. On one hand she’s clearly hopeless and doesn’t even expect to get to marry her daughter away anymore, on the other hand she always takes her anger out on Minjung after she’s once again proven right in her assumptions. It gets exhausting. Minjung hopes that she doesn’t need to endure this for the rest of her life, since it’s making her anxious in a way that makes her squirm in her seat as she tries to focus on her needlework instead of the cold glances she keeps getting. The same repeats, day after day, and the dinners aren’t much more pleasant as Minjung’s father keeps silent, reducing the chatting to a minimum. Then after a week it changes, and Minjung’s mother starts giving her these long, calculating glances. As if she knows something Minjung doesn’t, and as if she’s plotting something for her. Minjung is willing to bet that she’ll be sent away to a monastery or something, as it’s becoming more and more apparent that no man will ever have her. At least, that’s how it’ll seem to the society. If the real reason is that she doesn’t want anyone, it’s just for her to know. When Minjung gets an invitation to join her brother and Gwiboon for dinner, she’s more than glad to get out of the house. The way her mother fusses around her for a good while seems odd, but she brushes it off and practically flees her childhood home as soon as she manages. By then, the desire to simply get out is so strong that she’d go anywhere. As soon as Minjung arrives at the house and is let in by the maid, she begins to realize what those long looks from her mother meant. Waiting for her in the day room is not only her brother’s family, but also Doctor Lee. Jinki looks as comfortable as ever, getting up to his feet to give Minjung a little bow as she steps into the room. So this is what her mother was playing at. A handsome young doctor. Already a family friend. Who also took it upon himself to dance with Minjung not only once, not twice, but three times. Suddenly, Minjung feels nauseated. It’s not like she doesn’t like Jinki. He’s fun, he’s nice, and he would be a perfect husband to anyone. But Minjung doesn’t want to get married. Minjung cannot get married. She feels bile rise in the back of her throat already at the mere thought of it, panic flaring through her in strong waves. She can’t do this. She can’t. “Minjung, are you alright?” Jinki asks, placing a gentle hand on Minjung’s shoulder. She allows herself to be guided to the plush couch and sits down with only little urging, somehow feeling numb inside. Jinki’s worried face seems to swim in her vision, detached from reality, and she tries hard to take deep breaths to take herself under control again. There’s a soft hand slipping into her palm, thin fingers laced with hers, and Minjung clamps down like it’s her lifeline. Several moments later she begins to feel better again, clearing her throat in embarrassment. “I-I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I’m not… feeling very well.” She chooses to go with the vague explanation, since it’s not exactly a lie. She is feeling shaken, even if it’s not her being ill but her feeling unable to direct her own life. She’s never panicked like this before, and she dearly hopes it won’t happen again. Gwiboon is sitting right next to her, a worried frown on her features, and only belatedly Minjung realizes it’s Gwiboon’s hand she’s holding so tight. Immediately she eases her grip but Gwiboon won’t have any of it, squeezing back as tight as she can. “Would you like to lie down for a bit? Or do you want to go home?” The thought of going home isn’t exactly appealing so Minjung shakes her head. “No it’s fine. It was just so sudden. I’m alright now.” She offers a van smile as if trying to convince everyone of how much better she already is. Gwiboon’s palm is warm against her own, and somehow that sends a surge of warmth through the rest of her as well. Jinki doesn’t look convinced but finally just gives a small headshake, returning the smile, even if his is much more genuine. “Well, you’re in good hands here, aren’t you? Don’t need to go far for a doctor, at least.” That, finally, makes some half-nervous laughter erupt amongst them, and the heavy feeling dissipates. Halfway through the dinner Minjung is feeling mostly like herself again. There’s still the burning embarrassment of panicking like she did, and she would rather hide away with Gwiboon for a while to talk with her, to tell her about how painful her life has become. Then again, maybe it’s better like this, maybe it’s better not to worry Gwiboon with things that can’t be changed, anyway. “I don’t know if it’s appropriate for dinnertime conversation,” Changho begins as they’re digging into their desserts, giving a sidelong glance at Gwiboon who is trying to make sure that little Miyun gets most of the pudding into her mouth instead of on her clothes. “We’re all family here, though,” he goes on, and this time the significant glance is given to both Jinki and Minjung. A part of Minjung wants to snap at that, but she only smiles calmly, pretending like everything is right. To her relief, Jinki doesn’t seem to take it as anything but friendly chatting, judging by his reactions. Minjung lets it slide, too, careful not to upset the careful balance. She’s been at odds with her brother for years already, and she doesn’t want to break what fragile bond there still is between them. “We’re expecting another baby,” Gwiboon says then, and although she’s smiling it’s tight-lipped and stiff. There’s something in her eyes that unsettles Minjung, but Gwiboon averts her gaze down the next second. “Since the last time,” she pauses, “didn’t go without complications, we were hoping that we could ask of your help.” “I’m willing to pay for weekly check ups, or as much as you deem fitting, doctor,” Changho cuts in. “Money is not an issue, if it earns the family an heir.” Jinki nods, assuring them that he’s going to do everything he can to help. He would have, in any case, even without being asked and they all know it, even if it’s not exactly common for a doctor to oversee the whole process. “I would like to ask a favour from you, Minjung,” Gwiboon says, softly. She looks up again, straight into Minjung’s eyes, and she looks so earnest that right at that moment Minjung would gladly promise anything in her powers to give. “I need someone by my side at all times, when this progresses. Could you–” She smiles, the secret sort of smile, as if she knows Minjung’s reaction beforehand. “–consider moving here? Our guestroom is hardly like your own room but –” “I would love to,” Minjung says, before Gwiboon even manages to finish the sentence. “I want to help. Whatever way I can.” She tries to remain calm and collected, although inside, her emotions are a whirlwind. Not only she gets to move away from the oppressive, judgemental atmosphere of her parents’ home, she also gets to live right by Gwiboon’s side. It’s a small price to pay that she has to also share space with her brother, who seems to resent her increasingly much. It sounds too good to be true. Yet Changho nods and seals the deal, and it’s all settled. There isn’t much for Minjung to pack except for her clothes and a few books, and the move to her brother’s guestroom is even easier than anticipated. She feels almost giddy as she carefully folds her clothes into the drawers and hangs up the finer dresses, before placing her few books in a neat pile on the small bedside table. She can hear Miyun and the maid chat from the room across the corridor, smiling to herself as she knows everyone in the household adores the little girl. The master bedroom is at the other end of the floor, as well as the room in which Gwiboon shall be living in for the next few months. It had been Jinki’s suggestion, readily agreed on, that Gwiboon would get some space for herself to ensure she’d be well rested and calm as the pregnancy progressed. For the lack of anything else to do, Minjung decides to go outside into the backyard, to see if she could occupy herself in the garden. She has always enjoyed spending time outside, and with hard work and determination she’s taught herself a thing or two about flowers. She knows Gwiboon enjoys the garden in full bloom as well, but she’s not exactly fit for maintaining it alone right now. The whole house seems to be silent as Minjung descends the stairs to the sitting room. She knows the maid is with Miyun, and suspects that Gwiboon is in her room. Changho seems to spend his days elsewhere, so it’s not surprising that he’s not there. In addition to that, there’s only the cook who comes in twice a day, and once on Sundays. It’s nice, especially after the way someone always seems to be lurking in the shadows in her parent’s house. It’s as if Minjung draws the surprise on herself with that thought, since as soon as she rounds the corner she almost bumps into someone. She might yelp in surprise, just a little, but as soon as she hears the familiar laughter she relaxes and pushes at the intruder lightly. “Jinki! What are you doing here? Are you stalking me?” She grins, straightening as she takes a step back into a more respectable distance. “No,” Jinki answers, his eyes smiling. “Would you want me to?” He doesn’t expect an answer, obviously, as he goes on the next second. “I think your mother would be appalled.” “No. She would be thrilled that a man is willing to put up with me.” Minjung laughs, but it’s dry and completely devoid of humour. “She’s still hoping for a big wedding.” Jinki gives her a long look, as if trying to read her thoughts. In silent agreement they head towards the garden, Jinki holding the doors open for Minjung like a true gentleman. After a while, he asks a offhanded “You’re not?” There’s no reason for Minjung to be dishonest with Jinki, so she gives a shrug. One that would definitely make her mother scold her for unladylike behaviour, Minjung can’t you see you’re driving all the men away! She’s heard it so many times she can imagine her mother’s tone of voice perfectly, with every single syllable. “Not so much,” Jinki turns to face her at that point, still smiling genuinely. “So if I got on my knees to ask for your hand…” Minjung looks back at him, assessing his intentions and if he’s just trying to make a joke. It seems he’s completely serious, though, and it makes a sliver of regret twinge in Minjung’s chest. “I’d be forced to decline,” she says, as softly as she can. After a while, she feels compelled to add an apology. “I really am sorry.” It’s Jinki’s turn to shrug lightly, and the smile on his face doesn’t waver as he keeps his gaze directed at the blooming roses. “Your heart is set on someone else.” He says it like it’s simple, like it’s not something that turns Minjung’s whole world upside down every time she as much as thinks about it. As if it’s just… easy and natural. The silence speaks for itself. Finally, Jinki reaches out and gives Minjung’s elbow a soft squeeze. He turns to leave, but before the door closes behind him he pauses for long enough to speak the words that send Minjung’s heart hammering with a myriad of emotions. “She is very lucky.” The following weeks set a comfortable routine in the house. Minjung spends most of her time together with Gwiboon and Miyun, only meeting her brother for dinner. The absence of Changho makes it feel like it’s just the three of them, playing happy family together, and Minjung knows that it’s not the wisest choice she’s made in her life. The day this will end will be the day her heart is smashed into pieces. After she’s had something like this, it’s not like she can go back to staying with her parents, only living for the brief moments she’ll gain with Gwiboon. At first, things are almost like they used to be before the marriage. Minjung brings her favourite books and reads them out loud to Gwiboon, who is confined to bed rest under doctor’s orders. They stay up long into the night, talk about everything that crosses their minds. When Miyun isn’t with the part time nanny they’ve hired for the duration of the pregnancy, the little girl plays with the two of them or listens to the stories – both from the books and ones they come up with as they go – with great enthusiasm. Those are the most cherished moments for them all. “What happened to the fox?” Miyun asks, bouncing on the mattress. “What what what what?” She’s giggling with excitement, and almost manages to roll off the bed. It’s only Minjung’s quick reflexes that save her and pull her back to safety in the nick of time. “Are you sure you want to know?” Gwiboon’s eyes are sparkling as she looks at the two of them, overwhelming fondness laced in her smile. “There are still adventures to go through, before we find out the ending.” It’s one of their favourite stories, one they know by heart, although Miyun seems to forget how it goes every single time she hears it. Minjung laughs, grabbing Miyun’s waist to pull her close, on her lap. “I think we’ll save the ending for tomorrow. It’s your bedtime, young lady.” Theatrically Miyun pouts and whines for a while, but then obediently gives her mother a kiss and allows Minjung to carry her out of the room. Thankfully she’s worn herself out so much that she passes out almost instantly as she’s tucked into bed. Minjung leaves the room as silently as she manages, leaving the door ajar so that Miyun can run back to her mother’s room if she wakes up in the middle of the night. When Minjung returns to Gwiboon’s bedroom, Gwiboon is lying against the ocean of pillows, smiling tiredly. “Did she settle down?” “She was much more tired than she thought she was,” Minjung says, taking a careful seat on the edge of the bed. “It was way too much excitement, the story.” Naturally, she shifts until she can pull Gwiboon’s feet in her lap. She knows that Gwiboon’s feet and legs ache more often than not, and she’s taken up massaging them in the evenings, to at least lessen it. It’s silent, except for the content little sighs Gwiboon lets out in between when Minjung manages to dig her fingers into a particularly sore spot. It’s the sort of calm that only falls when they are alone, and that they both enjoy. It’s also time for Minjung to fall into her thoughts, to let her mind wander without a clear trail. Usually the silences last longer, so it startles Minjung when Gwiboon suddenly speaks up. “I hope that it wasn’t too much, when I asked you to stay with me.” She’s silent, hesitant, but obviously determined to say her piece. “I know that… it must be…” She trails off completely, refusing to meet Minjung’s eyes. Minjung’s fingers have paused completely. She can only stare at Gwiboon, at the way dark strands of hair curl against her pale – way too pale – skin. And wait. Wait for her to go on. It seems to take great effort but finally Gwiboon decides that she’s done with the nonsense. She pulls her feet off Minjung’s lap and sits up, scooting closer until they’re sitting right next to one another, only a palm’s width apart. “I want you to know, that what happened before the wedding, what I said then.” She pauses, looking straight into Minjung’s eyes. “Nothing has changed.” Minjung can feel her heart stop for a second. This is something they haven’t discussed ever since, almost as if they both wanted to forget about the kisses that burned their way straight into their souls. Not that Minjung ever did, and it fills her with hope to hear that she isn’t the only one who still thinks back to it, who still harbours and nurtures the feelings with care. The light flickers on the bedside table. Yet all Minjung can focus on is the way Gwiboon is looking at her, raw and honest, with her feelings out in the open. She doesn’t know what to respond with. She doesn’t really know what’s on the table, what she can have. Gwiboon is still married, nothing is going to change that. Then again, Minjung knows that she’ll take whatever it is that she can get. She smiles, softly, and reaches out to brush her fingers over Gwiboon’s cheek. Gwiboon leans into the touch, the tension obviously bleeding off her shoulders as she relaxes into it. “Nothing has changed,” she agrees. It takes her by surprise when Gwiboon moves closer, but she doesn’t resist as Gwiboon presses their mouths together. Contrarily, she melts into it, lets her fingers tangle in the soft strands of Gwiboon’s hair. She rests her free hand on Gwiboon’s side, her thumb slowly rubbing the swell of her stomach. Despite everything, Minjung finally feels the pieces of her life slot together. She finally feels like she’s right where she’s supposed to be. And the best part is that she knows Gwiboon feels the same. At first, it’s exhilarating. They still spend time together exactly like they used to. They still tell Miyun stories and have awkwardly silent dinners with Changho, and Minjung still visits home to give her parents regular updates on how the pregnancy is progressing. Yet when the house quiets down, when Miyun is asleep and the two of them are alone, things are different. Now there are slow kisses, whispered conversations as they stay as close to one another as they can, until Minjung sneaks into her own room in the darkness of the night. It’s their secret. One they’re both willing to keep with everything they have, as they’re very well aware of the consequences of a single slip-up. But this makes them both so giddy they can’t pay that any mind. What Minjung does notice is that Gwiboon’s condition begins to worsen. One morning Gwiboon mentions how her back hurts. A few days later she can barely get up from bed, as the pains get worse. It’s as if her body suddenly decides that this is not going to happen, and it leaves her unable to do anything but try to rest and hope for the best. At first, she’s not afraid to complain and to gripe about everything that’s not going properly, but at some point she falls completely silent, never mentions the pains again. That’s when Minjung knows it’s serious. Jinki comes over more often, but there isn’t much he can do. He gives her something for the pain, and something to help her sleep, but it’s mostly herbal teas and powders that only cut the worst edge off. She’s still left weak and tired, as she can barely sleep a few minutes at a time. It drives Minjung sick with worry. She tries all she can to make things more comfortable for Gwiboon. Gwiboon tries to resist at first, insists that she’s an adult and can take care of herself, that she doesn’t need to be spoon-fed or kept company at all hours. But Minjung watches her hand shake when she tries to eat by herself, and after a while she can’t take the clenching in her heart anymore. She can be stubborn, too. After a while Gwiboon doesn’t even protest anymore, but obediently sits back when Minjung appears with a bowl of food and a determined set to her face. “You’re going to spoil me rotten,” she laughs softly, even if it looks like that takes all of her energy. Usually she’s so animated, full of life from the sparkle in her eye to the rosiness of her cheeks. Now she’s like a pale ghost of her usual self. “You look like you could use some spoiling,” Minjung says. She places the tray on the bedside table so she won’t spill anything when she climbs on the bed and settles cross-legged next to Gwiboon. She leans forward, places a chaste kiss on Gwiboon’s lips and smiles at her softly. “Did you get any sleep?” She spends a second organizing the hem of her dress until all of the fabric is pooling neatly around her, before reaching back for the bowl of food. “Not really,” Gwiboon admits. She accepts the first bite silently, chewing on it for a moment before she lets out a huge sigh. “When I was expecting Miyun, mother told me that it was the best time of my life. That there’s nothing that makes a woman feel more alive than carrying a child.” She chuckles, but it lacks happiness. “I don’t really feel that.” Minjung pauses, rests the bowl in her lap, and reaches out to grasp Gwiboon’s hand in her own. She twines their fingers, squeezing a little. “You’ll be fine. You’ll start feeling good in no time.” She knows the words ring hollow but she wants to believe them, so badly. Maybe if she repeats it enough it’ll come true. “I’ll be right here for you.” It’s clear that Gwiboon is hurting, only smiling through the pain and weariness, but there’s a distinct underlying tenderness in her eyes when she smiles at Minjung. “I know.” She squeezes Minjung’s hand in return, stroking her thumb over Minjung’s knuckles. “I don’t want to leave you.” “You won’t,” Minjung says. She untwines their fingers only a moment later, picking up where she left off before the food gets completely cold. After one of the nearly daily check-ups Minjung pulls Jinki aside, and lowers her voice just in case although they’re standing in the corridor where no one should be paying them any mind. “Please tell me she’ll be alright?” she begs, desperate for anything to ease her mind. She knows that Gwiboon is a fighter, but the way she keeps turning paler and more subdued is more than a little scary. Gently, Jinki places a hand on Minjung’s shoulder, giving it a small squeeze. “I wish I could. But the truth is, I don’t know.” That’s already more than enough to make Minjung swerve even deeper into her growing panic, and she bites her lower lip hard enough to hurt. “I’m not sure if this is going to end well.” “Is,” Minjung starts. She chokes on the word, but forces herself to calm down and stay strong. “Is her life in danger?” “Her life,” Jinki says with a slow nod, “or the baby’s. And even if she survives this, she’s not going to survive another pregnancy anymore. It’d destroy her.” “If she survives?” Her voice is a mere whisper. There’s no answer, and that in itself tells Minjung as much as any chosen words could. She’s known that things aren’t exactly looking up but this is even worse than she’d imagined. She only manages a shaky nod, before looking straight at Jinki. “Does she know?” “I haven’t told her,” Jinki says. His smile has been constantly melancholy for these past weeks, but now it turns even a notch sadder. “But she knows.” Minjung nods. There’s not much else she can do. She’s never felt this helpless, and that although she’s felt for years that her life is taking only courses she has no power over. It’s like she’s been a spectator of her own life, going along with the endless stream, the wishes of her parents and trying to fit into the mould made for her. But nothing, nothing has been worse than this. The floorboards are creaky in the hall only right before the study, and Minjung suspects that’s probably on purpose. Changho likes to shut himself into the room after dinner, sometimes for hours, and maybe the ominous creaks give him some pre-warning when his peace is about to be interrupted. Minjung can understand that, she needs her own quiet moments too. Yet she doesn’t understand how her brother can have such a flippant attitude to everything. He has a family, yet he spends all of his time out of the house, doing who knows what, and when he’s in he barely stays for dinner before shutting himself out again. He, who used to be outgoing and social, now barely leaves the room, not even to sleep. Much less to care for his family. So Minjung doesn’t even try to side-step the noisiest floorboards when she storms into the study, slams the door open and still manages to surprise her brother. Slowly Changho straightens in his chair, sets his almost empty drink on the table and looks at Minjung like she’s lost her mind. “Sister,” he says, nodding. “What is it?” “When was the last time you went to see your wife?” Minjung demands, all remnants of her cool slipping off as she steps forward, all but slamming her palms on the desk. “Or your daughter? Your family.” Changho’s expression goes from confused to completely closed off. “I don’t see how that has anything to do with you. I owe you no explanation.” “Can’t you see!?” Minjung raises her voice. “Gwiboon is barely able to get up from bed. She’s in pain, and you haven’t been to her room in more than two weeks. Even then you only stopped at the door to ask her if she’s well, which she clearly isn’t!” “And what do you expect me to do?” “Act like the head of a family is supposed to! Take care of your wife!” Changho shakes his head. “I pay for a professional doctor to do that. It’s my money that goes towards the med–” “Do you even care!?” Minjung cuts in, angrier than ever. “Why did you even marry her if you don’t care if she lives or dies? You could’ve let her be with someone who loves her and wants what’s best for her instead of holding on to her to keep up appearances!” “Someone?” Changho laughs, dry. “You mean you?” It feels like a slap. Minjung freezes, the words momentarily dying on her tongue. “My dear sister.” Changho takes the silence as his cue to go on, his voice acidic. “Tell me, in which world would you have been able to provide for her? To keep her clothed, to give her a roof over her head? To feed her? Or to give her a family in the first place?” He makes a dramatic pause. “That’s right. It’s all in your head, Minjung, in your twisted, sick little head. And the only reason I’ve tolerated it is that Gwiboon has been nothing but an agreeable wife for me. If that changes…” Minjung bites her lip to keep silent, staring at the bookshelves as if they could ground her enough to calm down. The words cut deep with how true they are, but it’s nothing she hasn’t know already for years. What hurts even more is how it’s clear she and her brother have grown completely apart. They already went from being inseparable children to more distant teenagers, but there was always a sense of fondness there. Minjung admired Changho, with all of her might, looked up to him and idolized him. It’s overwhelming, realizing how much her own brother loathes her. The resentment is there in every single word, and it drowns everything else, even the shock at how Minjung’s best kept secret obviously isn’t as discreetly hidden as she’d thought. The silence drags on, until Changho realizes Minjung isn’t going to fill it, and speaks up instead. His voice is soft now, almost apologetic, but he doesn’t look at Minjung. Instead, he reaches for the carafe, filling his almost empty glass again. “Don’t pretend like you know what I feel about my family. And don’t even dare to try pry them away from me.” “I don’t need to,” Minjung forces out, closing her eyes against the burning tears. “You’re driving them away even without my help. You need to pray that Gwiboon survives, and after this, you will not force her to bear another child!” Changho huffs. “She’s my wife. If she is to have another child, then be it. Who am I to cross the fate.” “Do you realize you’re killing her!?” Minjung turns to look at him again, the anger back at full force like it was never gone in the first place. “Go, Minjung,” Changho leans back in his chair, dismissively turning to the side and raising his glass to his lips. “Stop interfering with my marriage or I’ll be sure that you’re sent back to our parents.” When Gwiboon finally gives birth, Minjung is scared out of her mind. She’s seen what a toll the pregnancy has taken on Gwiboon and she fully expects for it to end the same way, to put Gwiboon through yet another hell. Inwardly, she’s in near hysterics, but outwardly remains calm as she knows she needs to be strong. Yet she’s more than a little relieved when Jinki arrives, and sets things in motion. Much to Minjung’s surprise, everything goes smoothly. It takes long, but there’s not a single moment when Jinki seems to be concerned, and Minjung finds strength in that. She brings in towels, boils water, opens the windows for fresh air when requested. The whole household has been delegated to their nanny and the maid, who are to take care of everything. Changho is nowhere to be seen. Minjung thinks that might be for the best. It feels like a lifetime later when the cries of the newborn baby finally resonate in the air. Everyone is tired, but there are smiles on their faces that could rival the sun. Jinki passes the baby over to Minjung, who sets out to gently wash the little girl off the muck she’s covered in. Meanwhile Jinki makes sure Gwiboon gets through the last of the strenuous process, that she’s alright and everything is as it should. When Minjung turns around, the baby in her arms, Jinki shushes her and shakes his head. “Let’s take the baby into the nursery,” he says, softly, “she’s already asleep.” Indeed, Gwiboon’s eyes are closed, her breaths evened in sleep, and although a part of Minjung wants to unite the baby and her mother as soon as possible, she doesn’t have a heart to wake her up. Silently, they step out of the room and pad all the way to the nursery, where a bed has already been set up for the newborn. Miyun is already in her bed, but sleepily peeks at the bundle when she’s presented with her baby sister. Soon enough, both the children are asleep, but neither Minjung nor Jinki makes a move to leave. “Is she going to be alright?” Minjung asks after a while. Her eyes are on the baby, but it’s clear who she’s referring to. Jinki reaches out, gently patting her shoulder. “She will be fine. But she is going to need to rest for a while. This took a toll on her.” With a soft sigh, Minjung sits down in the plush armchair, dropping her hands in her lap. “I’ve been so scared.” She knows it’s no secret, to either one of them, and now that relief finally washes over her in waves she feels like she’s ready to collapse with it. “I’ve been scared out of my mind.” There’s no response. Jinki only stands there, watching her with a slight hint of a smile dancing on his lips. Then he nods. “I need to go find your brother. He has a beautiful little daughter now.” And just like that, the relief is replaced by burning anger. Minjung looks up, gritting her teeth around the words. “He hasn’t cared before, why would he care now? He doesn’t deserve her. He doesn’t deserve any of them.” Jinki inclines his head. “We don’t always get what we deserve. Neither do we always know what we deserve. But Minjung.” He waits until she acknowledges him with a slight arch of her brow. “Even when no feelings are shown, it does not mean they do not exist. We hide worlds in our hearts.” For a second, he looks so sad that it makes Minjung’s heart ache. Then it’s gone, as if it was never there in the first place, and Jinki gives a polite bow. “Now if you’ll excuse me.” He shuts the door softly behind himself. Minjung sits, unmoving, until she drifts off to sleep from sheer exhaustion. The baby is asleep when Minjung places her carefully into Gwiboon’s arms. Gwiboon seems to be already feeling slightly better, even if still exhausted to the bone, and she’s practically glowing with happiness as she coos at the baby. “I’m sorry I missed you yesterday,” she whispers, stroking her thumb down the little girl’s soft cheek. “Time to eat.” She doesn’t have the heart to actually wake the baby up though, but keeps just gently touching her, holding her. “She’ll wake up when she’s hungry,” Minjung hazards a guess. She feels almost unable to handle the affection, as she carefully sits down on the bed next to the two, pulling her skirt around her legs. “You needed your rest, too.” She reaches out and brushes a strand of hair off Gwiboon’s face, and is instantly rewarded with a warm smile. They snuggle up close, all three of them, waiting for the little one to decide it’s time for food instead of rest. It’s something Minjung could get used to, and a part of her wishes for the moment to never end. Gwiboon is warm against her side, talking quietly to the snuffling bundle in her arms, and it takes a moment for Minjung to realize the next words are actually addressed to her. “Isn’t she beautiful?” Gwiboon whispers, tenderly brushing down the baby’s little button of a nose. The little girl is awake now, completely calm and still a little sleepy, blinking her eyes at the two of them as if she’s trying to figure out where she is, or who she’s with. The baby is like a tiny little version of Gwiboon, it’s almost amusing how much they look alike and Minjung can’t stop smiling. Carefully she takes the tiny baby fingers between two of her own. “Yes. She is.” “She has your eyes.” Gwiboon’s smile turns a little wider, thoroughly content, as she looks up at Minjung and rests her head in the crook of Minjung’s neck. The words send a surge of happiness mixed with bitterness through Minjung and she bites her lower lip for a second. “Changho’s eyes,” she corrects finally, barely audibly. “No,” Gwiboon insists, in that tone of voice that tells she’s dead set on her opinion and nothing will change it. “Your eyes.” Somehow that soothes the jealousy and the hurt, and Minjung can’t help but hug Gwiboon a little bit tighter. She knows she’s not entitled to feel that way, but it’s like this is her own little family, only with Miyun missing, safe in her own bed. “When will you decide on a name?” she asks finally, just to have something to say. “Oh, I’ve known her name for months now,” Gwiboon smiles. “First I wanted to name her Minjung. But I thought it might be a little too much to have two of you in one family.” The baby is starting to make discontent little noises, grunting in a way that assumedly means she’s finally feeling her appetite awakening. “Time to eat now, Minhee?” Gwiboon asks lovingly, untying the knots that hold her dressing gown in place. Minjung only sits there, wondering if it’s possible to burst from simply feeling too much.

>>>> PART II


check the masterlist for more fic! | follow me on tumblr~ | add this journal for updates


I’m pretty sure Google thinks I’m pregnant after all the stuff I looked up for this. Also, I’m so excited I finally finished something omg ;; I hope you liked it and if you’re as excited as me, the second part will be up very soon! :D

Comments

[stolenflower.livejournal.com]

WOWOWOWOWOWOWOW SPOTTTTTTT

[fonulyn.livejournal.com]

I hope you'll like it ;3

[stolenflower.livejournal.com]

wow i am so late :(

jkasfusdhfkdsjfasd ughh minjungggg my heart cries for youuu. and man, doctor lee is attractive unf i wouldnt mind some of that. he's too friggin sweet i hope everything ends well for him.

changho is a jerk. he should learn to treat his family better. ALSO he betta not make gwiboon carry another child (but he probably will because gwiboon hasnt given birth to a son yet). if anyone is hurt because of him /cracks knuckles/

i wonder how obvious minjung's feelings are if both jinki and changho can tell she loves gwiboon. i fear for their(minboon's) future D:

sorry for the super late comment! just havent had time to sit down and properly enjoy works of art

[fonulyn.livejournal.com]

aww bby it's ok! your comment had me smiling like an idiot so it was very welcome now :D no need to worry it was late!

I'd marry doctor Lee I would I swear I would. tho he wouldn't want me, haha XD

and agreed, Changho is a jerk, but he's going through some troubles too so ...well, he's human too. even if he's a human I don't particularly like 8)

ansjdkfn thank you for your comment, sweetie! it's not late at all, really :D ♥

[neezoy.livejournal.com]

I LOVE THIS STORY SO MUCH!!!!!!! *dances around*

But gosh now I'm so worried about how it will end D: It all seems so hopeless with Changho being an asshole and everything D: Urgh, urgh, urgh.

But aWwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwh Jink thoughi! So precious! And he knows, bless him ;________; Even though he clearly likes Minjung too, poor thing.

"Minjung is willing to bet that she’ll be sent away to a monastery or something, as it’s becoming more and more apparent that no man will ever have her. At least, that’s how it’ll seem to the society. If the real reason is that she doesn’t want anyone, it’s just for her to know."
I just love this paragraph. So much sadness in that, and so true for the times T_T

“What happened to the fox?” Miyun asks, bouncing on the mattress. “What what what what?” She’s giggling with excitement, and almost manages to roll off the bed. It’s only Minjung’s quick reflexes that save her and pull her back to safety in the nick of time.
This is just so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!

I wanted to quote a lot of littel touches too, the way you just write simple stuff like how Minjung pulls the child onto her lap, how Gwiboon rubs her knuckles, I just love all those little details and you're soooooo good at it, it's like candy for the eyes and the soul. I wish I was too, but you're just a natural - it breathes life and magic to your writing.

I can't wait for the next part, I want it, and I want it now.

Don't ever stop writing, my friend. You're awesome ;A;

[fonulyn.livejournal.com]

*dances around with you* I AM SO HAPPY YOU DO ;;;; This fic has been begging to be written for literally six months now and I really wanted to finish it. So, thanks to my Spider Man movie marathon I did, lmao.

Jinki is such a poor unfortunate soul too ;; I loved writing him, and how he is in this. I was a bit worried that he'd end up too bland as a character since I wanted his feelings to be very real too.

Ah and I am so happy you enjoyed the descriptions and the little touches and all ;; I love writing those, they're my favourites~

I'll try to post the next part today if I get off work early enough! And I'm sorry this answer is short and incoherent but I'm at work, sneakily answering comments while the students do their assignments 8)

Thank you so, so much bb! ♥♥♥

[loveshineebang.livejournal.com]

Why world is so cruel to minkey...
I feel like crying although the chapter is somewhat bittersweet...
Gwiboon need more respect than changho give to her but yes, in reality minjung can't give it publicly because of the social's view...
It's so complicated and at least they could enjoy their limited time...

[fonulyn.livejournal.com]

Bittersweet is exactly what I was going for so thank you :D You're right, too, Gwiboon would deserve a lot more respect than she gets. Let's see how the situation develops in the second chapter :D Thanks for reading and commenting!

[1412-bunny.livejournal.com]

omg why wasn't the baby a boy. now he's going to force her to have another baby and kill her. x_X so depressing. ;-;

minkey are so sweet together. ;u;

[fonulyn.livejournal.com]

No such luck for them D: The beautiful little girl should be equally as appreciated as a boy is.

Thank you for reading and commenting! :D

[g-odalisque13.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad that toy wrote more of this verse!
I have never graded tests so fast in my life so i coukd read this. Lol.
Please please please post the next part soon!!!!!
We hide worlds in our hearts.
And this line is brilliant. So so true.
More soon please!!!!! ♡♡♡

[fonulyn.livejournal.com]

Thank you! ;; I've been itching to write this sequel ever since I wrote the first part, and I was nervous that no one else would want it so I am very relieved to hear that I'm not the only one enjoying the verse ;; haha and good job grading tests XD

I'm hoping to poast the next part tonight but it depends on how early I get off work: I gotta make some exams since exam session begins on Thursday XD So no promises, but trying to do it tonight!

Thank you so much ;;♥♥♥

[poisonpaparazzi.livejournal.com]

Oh, I love this AU~ I mean, I love genderbent Minkey to begin with, but this is just so good and dramatic.

I swear my heart nearly stopped at the part with Chango and Minjung, though.

The family parts with Miyun are sooooo cute. ;3;

Augh, I have so many things to say about this story, it makes me heart hurt and warm all at once. So good job, I can't wait until the next part.

[fonulyn.livejournal.com]

anjskdfn I'm so happy that you're enjoying this AU! ;; It's been itching under my skin for months and I finally got it written so this feels like such a victory :D

AH and I am SO HAPPY you liked the scene with Changho and Minjung! It was one of the scenes that was created to be the most dramatic, I hoped, so it's very good to know it left an impact :D

Thank yuo so so much! ;; More shall follow soon! ♥

[salome620.livejournal.com]

i love Jinki here! gosh, why is he such a sweetheart? i feel a little sorry for him and yet, the way he's handling himself about Minjjung is so admirable. wow. is there someone like him in real life? i guess, there is, but i don't think i've personally met one yet.

this is my absolute favorite line. i heard my heart break when i read it.
“We don’t always get what we deserve. Neither do we always know what we deserve. But Minjung.” He waits until she acknowledges him with a slight arch of her brow. “Even when no feelings are shown, it does not mean they do not exist. We hide worlds in our hearts.”

i'm looking forward to seeing the next part soon. i hope it does not end in misery. (*cries*)

[fonulyn.livejournal.com]

haha I love Jinki too, he is so understanding and sweet and I definitely feel very sorry for him ;; You'll meet someone like him one day too, I'm sure :D

Thank you so much ;;♥ More soon!

[koukaiaru.livejournal.com]

hbdfknjvx i already told you a lot of what i thought when i proof read it but this fic deserves all the comments in the world so... excuse my repeating myself xD

i still love the mood, i love how you make me feel for all the characters, how close i can become with them then i read this, and how real this all feels, like reading a story that actually happened. the 'austenish' feel to it makes it seem like reading a diary from a couple of centuries ago idk. it's also written so beautifully, like everything you write ;~;.

“She has your eyes.” Gwiboon’s smile turns a little wider, thoroughly content, as she looks up at Minjung and rests her head in the crook of Minjung’s neck.

The words send a surge of happiness mixed with bitterness through Minjung and she bites her lower lip for a second. “Changho’s eyes,” she corrects finally, barely audibly.

“No,” Gwiboon insists, in that tone of voice that tells she’s dead set on her opinion and nothing will change it. “Your eyes.”

you already know this is my favourite scene. it feels like this is the moment when gwiboon reveals that her feelings for minjung rival those that minjung harbours for her, because before that it was only minjung wondering, minjung feeling, minjung hurting. *sigh*.

i will love this forever ;~;.

[fonulyn.livejournal.com]

haha bb you can repeat yourself as much as you want, I love hearing what you think XD ♥

I'm also repeating myself but I love how the characters managed to be lifelike, instead of too bland and boring, and it feels like the biggest achievement ;; As well as the setting, I worried it'd feel awkward since I didn't in all honesty do THAT much research on it (unless reading books and watching movies from the era counts XD) and yeah. So happy happy ;;

And the eyes-scene, it was literally like the second scene I imagined for the fic, haha. And one of my personal faves too ;; I was a little disappointed that no one seemed to point out my personal favourite bits but you caught one, dear XD So thank you bb, for that too ♥

I'll try to post the next part soon but YOU WRITE YOUR THESIS IT'S IMPORTANT. How's the work going? Progress? :)

/squishes ♥