rabenhorst (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rabenhorst) wrote2010-01-07 05:00 pm
rabenhorst) wrote2010-01-07 05:00 pm
Entry tags:
(no subject)
Learn to Love
1997
Years after that, Toshiya liked to think that it was music that saved him. Sure he had gone to several psychiatric sessions, his overly worried mother forcing him to take part in every possible support group and process the happenings with several different professionals. Yet it was music that had had the biggest impact on him, that had made him finally move on and get over the constant nightmares. It had started out as the typical teenaged rebellion, channelling one’s depression into weird sub-genres of black metal and suicidal lyrics. With time it began to change though. He found that simply playing his bass was soothing already, it didn’t need to be anything extreme or anything utterly depressing. Living through the music was more than enough.
Still, on some level the fascination for the world he had taken a dive into remained, maybe that was one reason why he felt so strongly about joining this one band that came up to him, offering him a position as their bassist. The music was plain rock, even kind of bouncy and happy in its own way, and yet the lyrics were set on such macabre themes that it created a clear contrast with it. Growling vocals changed to high tones, extreme aggressive melodies changed to basic rock, corpse paint changed to visual make up. Yet one thing remained, and it was living through the music.
Toshiya was learning to live again. But behind his smile, he was still crying. His whole life was one big contrast, happiness entwined with sadness, the future mixing with the past. Joining the band was one big step in his life that changed it. Even a bigger step was meeting his new bandmates though. He had never before felt more like he belonged somewhere, was a part of a group so strongly. The people around him, they were so artistic and weird and at the same time so comfortingly normal that Toshiya was beginning to feel more at ease. Maybe he wasn’t all that strange after all. At least he had found his family. A father figure to look up to, a little brother to look after, a perfect buddy to goof off with. Everything in the same small bunch of people.
Yet he noticed that he was rapidly growing closer to especially one of them. It had been the easy smile and the deep big eyes that had first made him like Die, instantly when he had reached out his hand and introduced himself with a simple “Hi, my name is Die!” They were both so similar and yet so different, it was bound to lead to something. At first, Toshiya was convinced he had found a new best friend. That was something he hadn’t had in ages. Not after… yes, not after Kazuya. And that was what it was, new best friends.
Until it became more. It was so easy to like Die. So easy to trust him and so easy to open up to him.
So easy to fall in love with him.
Previous Part | Next Part
1997
Years after that, Toshiya liked to think that it was music that saved him. Sure he had gone to several psychiatric sessions, his overly worried mother forcing him to take part in every possible support group and process the happenings with several different professionals. Yet it was music that had had the biggest impact on him, that had made him finally move on and get over the constant nightmares. It had started out as the typical teenaged rebellion, channelling one’s depression into weird sub-genres of black metal and suicidal lyrics. With time it began to change though. He found that simply playing his bass was soothing already, it didn’t need to be anything extreme or anything utterly depressing. Living through the music was more than enough.
Still, on some level the fascination for the world he had taken a dive into remained, maybe that was one reason why he felt so strongly about joining this one band that came up to him, offering him a position as their bassist. The music was plain rock, even kind of bouncy and happy in its own way, and yet the lyrics were set on such macabre themes that it created a clear contrast with it. Growling vocals changed to high tones, extreme aggressive melodies changed to basic rock, corpse paint changed to visual make up. Yet one thing remained, and it was living through the music.
Toshiya was learning to live again. But behind his smile, he was still crying. His whole life was one big contrast, happiness entwined with sadness, the future mixing with the past. Joining the band was one big step in his life that changed it. Even a bigger step was meeting his new bandmates though. He had never before felt more like he belonged somewhere, was a part of a group so strongly. The people around him, they were so artistic and weird and at the same time so comfortingly normal that Toshiya was beginning to feel more at ease. Maybe he wasn’t all that strange after all. At least he had found his family. A father figure to look up to, a little brother to look after, a perfect buddy to goof off with. Everything in the same small bunch of people.
Yet he noticed that he was rapidly growing closer to especially one of them. It had been the easy smile and the deep big eyes that had first made him like Die, instantly when he had reached out his hand and introduced himself with a simple “Hi, my name is Die!” They were both so similar and yet so different, it was bound to lead to something. At first, Toshiya was convinced he had found a new best friend. That was something he hadn’t had in ages. Not after… yes, not after Kazuya. And that was what it was, new best friends.
Until it became more. It was so easy to like Die. So easy to trust him and so easy to open up to him.
So easy to fall in love with him.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject