rabenhorst (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rabenhorst) wrote2007-12-30 04:52 pm
rabenhorst) wrote2007-12-30 04:52 pm
(no subject)
Title: Lost; Chapter 1/2
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
seinen_no and fonulyn
Rating: NC17 overall
Pairing: DiexKaoru,
Disclaimer: We own no one, only our dirty imaginations.
Summary: Dir en grey is shooting their new video in the Caribbean, coevally enjoying their free time and the chance to have both vacation and work in one go. When Kaoru goes overboard, and Die heroically tries to save him, they both end up on a cursed island, suddenly fighting for survival. *insert theatrical drumming* It’s total crack x) At leas supposed to be humor :D
Comments:
seinen_no: Oookay. Here's the next fulfilled request. Dear, I'm glad you liked it and lemme assure you that your request alone made me burst out laughing and gave me all these funny images. I really loved it and I loved that you were so precise and in a way really crazy. fonulyn was a bit afraid that we couldn't make it a good fic, because she thought we can't be really funny on request, but I do think it worked out quite well. So in the end, we really did have fun writing this and just the fact that this is so off the hook and totally senseless made me enjoy it to no end. So I should thank you for the request. I'm sure we would've never ever written something like that otherwise.
Everybody else: Don't expect realism nor sense and just entertainment (hopefully) and of course a bit of smut. Tell us what you think as we're suckers for comments x)
fonulyn: As said before, I was a bit nervous about writing this since well, being funny isn’t one of my strongest points x) But it was after all fun to write, and I hope that you enjoy reading it too :D It’s FAR from being realistic and don’t even try to take it seriously x) Just read and I hope it makes someone happy.
And feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive.
Written for:melissalovedie
Original request:
pairing: a DieXKaoru fic(how surprising XD, you so totally gasped at that one lol)
genre: how about the fluffiest and dorkiest, yet hottest fic you've written? ;D
What i would like: hmmm it has always been in my mind to read a fic where Dir en grey is going on a boattrip and cause of the fact that Kao and Die fall off the boat, they get stuck on an island and some weird unknown guy, predicts their future, they don't believe him but *tadaaa* it all comes true....and i would like to have a decent house on that island(electricity and stuffs, you know the kind where people can survive in) full luxury, but [insert overdramatic eyemovement+overdramatic pause] what the two don't know is that the island's cursed..
okay forgive me and my detail-post, you can still add your own ideas ofcourse, the only thing i don't want to(but i know you don't want that either) are a dead kao/Die. oh and and i want a Seme!Die for once :3:
Lost
'Finally,' Kaoru thought, based his elbows on the rail and looked at the dark blue ocean ahead. It certainly hadn't been his idea to go on a boat-trip, but their management had decided that the Caribbean background would be perfect for their new video. Ignoring the fact that he, the leader of the band, still wasn't able to swim properly, he had been overruled by the others.
Die had thought he could get a tan and he simply loved the image of himself lolling on deck, a cocktail in his hand, right from the beginning. Kyo had been enthusiastic too since being on a boat also meant that there certainly wouldn't be any fans around who could bug him or annoy him to no end. Toshiya had been all hyper since he had read in 'Man's health' that swimming is good for broad shoulders and he was up for a tan as well.
Kaoru still saw the bassist and his second guitarist before his mind's eye when they had heard the suggestion for the boat-trip, both so excited that they had been jumping up and down, grabbing each other by the shoulders. Shinya, the only one on whom Kaoru had relied to be against the idea as well, had disappointed him majorly. He had simply said that this would be a good opportunity to relax without having much to do but to shoot the video in between and relax.
So not even the fact that Kaoru's vote as a leader counted double had mattered anymore. Not that it really would have mattered, but in his opinion his vote should count twice as much as the others'…
Sighing deep, he dug out his cigarettes, placed the package on the rail and lit one, blowing the smoke into the sky that was turning orange already, predicting the nearing sundown.
This had even started out wrong. When they had arrived at the harbor where the beautiful wooden boat, ship, brick, cog or whatever this was, had awaited them, they had been told that they would have to stay in the dock for the first night. Apparently, there had been a storm which had prevented their departure and they had had to wait for the flood to be able to leave.
Only the remembrance of the party in the small tavern made Kaoru smile. It had been some time since they had had the opportunity to grab some drinks just the five of them and the crew. It had been fun and Kaoru had enjoyed the time with his friends to the fullest …. until … yes, until this fortune-teller had appeared.
How big was the chance that a fortune-teller showed up in a shabby small tavern on some fucking Caribbean island who spoke fluently Japanese? Zero? Kaoru had thought so too, but he had been proven wrong. This man, woman, gypsy or whatever had just appeared from out of nowhere, had instantly approached him and taken his hand. What the fuck?
The guy's grasp had been so strong that he had had no chance to yank himself free, very much to his bandmates' amusement. "Tell him his future!" Kyo had demanded grinning and the others had agreed, laughing and yelling as they all had had a couple of beers and some of this weird tasting cheap rum already. "First money!" the fortune-teller had demanded and Die, the incarnation of generosity, had placed a few notes in the man's free hand, bouncing up and down excitedly.
He hadn't expected though that, after storing the money somewhere in one of the zillion layers of his clothes, the fortune-teller would grab his hand as well. "There we have a match!" he had piped, a huge smile showing a row of rotten teeth. By then, Kaoru had been laughing as well. 'Yeah … match,' he had thought, winking at his redheaded friend. For a long moment, the fortune-teller had examined both of the guitarists' palms and finally looked up with a serious expression. "You two are meant to be," he had said, the words fraught with meaning. "Meant to be what?" Kaoru and Die had asked simultaneously, but the man had already let go of them and simply left the tavern.
Although Kaoru and his friends had laughed about the incident, he couldn't stop thinking about it. Even when they had left the harbor in the early morning hours of the next day, he had been unable to fall asleep in his small bunk-bed in the cabin.
At least they all had their own cabins; no snoring, no other body-noises, no Die who threw himself from one side to the other or Shinya who constantly banged on everything in reach; no vocalist who told whole fairytales in his sleep or a bassist who seemed to have a serious issue with being in love with himself.
Lost in these kinds of thoughts, Kaoru stared into nothingness, not noticing that the cigarette between his lips was already burned to the filter. Suddenly, there was a huge jerk going thought the ship and, he had no idea how that had happened, he lost balance. Maybe he shouldn't have leaned over the rail to see if one could look into the cabin underneath…
With a highly undignified and very much girly shriek, he went overboard, hitting the water's surface with a loud splash.
Meanwhile, the redheaded guitarist had been leaning on the railing at the opposite side of the deck, his eyes closed and simply enjoying the warmth of the sun on his face. Outwardly, he was the picture of calmness but inwardly, there was happening much more. Or not that much, when it was about Die whose brain capacity was commonly known to be below the average.
He wasn't dumb, really not, but he was constantly too unfocused to actually manage to concentrate on things long enough to show his intelligence. Right now he was waiting, more or less patiently, for the promised drink Toshiya had left to get for him. They had planned on bathing in the sun and enjoying their drinks for as long as possible before they would have to work actually; and their time was dangerously running out.
Die could already TASTE the drink if he concentrated hard, some of the liquid running down from the corner of his mouth because he was taking too large sips. That thought was the one that made him snap back to reality somewhat and frowning, he wiped away the drool that was already running down his chin.
Hopefully no one had seen... But hey, it was a completely understandable reaction when he was waiting for something as delicious as a good drink!
Again, he was pulled back from his thoughts though when he heard a high-pitched shriek cut through the air. It sounded like Kaoru, but hey, wasn't Kaoru supposed to be like the manly man? The one with the LOW voice instead of a shrieking one like that?
Nevertheless Die acted on instinct and instantly turned to look at the place where the older man had been standing previously. Nothing. Only an empty railing. 'Shit!' the redhead cursed inwardly, taking a few running steps to look over the railing.
There Kaoru was, down in the water, waving his hands in the air and shrieking like there was no tomorrow. Knowing that Kaoru still couldn't swim well if his feet didn't touch the ground, which Die highly doubted could be the case right now, he saw no other option than to jump in to be the knight in shining armor, the great savior whom everyone would worship and get him dozens of drinks afterwards...
All of this flashed through Die's mind in mere seconds, believe it or not, and before he had the time to re-consider his actions, he jumped down into the water over the railing. "Kaoru! I'm coming!"
The lead-guitarist only had the time to try and get away from the rail, paddling like a dog, not to be hit by his bandmate. Thank God somebody had heard him. Okay, it was Die coming to the rescue, but even Die was somebody and one always could rely on him to be there when needed.
"Over here!" he screamed, gargling because he had gotten some water in his mouth. Luckily, Die was a good swimmer and reached him within mere seconds. Kaoru was so glad, that he grabbed him and clung to his back, almost drowning both of them until the redhead had managed to turn on his back so that he was floating more or less steadily on the surface.
Meanwhile, the distance between them and the ship grew bigger and bigger and when Kaoru noticed it, he asked. "Where's the life buoy? Where are the others?"
"Life-what?" Die looked pricelessly dumb, opening his eyes wide and gazing at the other man. "And the others, they're probably inside. Why?" He shrugged a bit and almost managed to get both of them underwater with the sudden movement. Coughing, they got back to the surface, and Die tried his best to keep both of them up so that they could actually breathe.
Still it earned him a not too weak slap on the head. "Idiot! And who's now going to pull us back on board?" For a long second, both men looked each other in the eye and then suddenly turned their heads towards the retreating ship, screaming at the top of their lungs. "HEEEEEEELP!!!!"
Toshiya had been delayed by Kyo who had demanded some CD back, but finally stepped out on deck. As he found the spot, where Die had been waiting for him empty, he simply shrugged, thinking the guitarist had had one of his sudden ideas again or then had been forced by Kaoru to work on some song. Shrugging, he went back inside, sipping the redhead's drink merrily and thinking he could ask Shinya to kill him some time instead. The desperate cries from somewhere far away remained unheard.
It took a long moment before the two guitarists finally gave up on screaming for help. It had more to do with the fact that they were getting water in their mouths and ended up coughing forcefully which pretty much ruined their good attempts in pleading for help than in the lack of energy.
When they realized that neither of their friends noticed their distress, Die instantly created a huge pout, totally forgetting that he was the one holding both of them above water as he folded his arms across his chest. "That's so not fair! They should come and save us like I came to save you!"
It resulted in Kaoru slowly sinking under water, but as he was pouting too, he relied on his friend to drag him up again. "They will so do overtime once I'm back!" he ranted, looking around to check their situation.
There was no land in sight; nothing but the free wild ocean greeting them in every direction. "We go there!" the leader decided, pointed into a certain direction and gave the redhead an ungentle jab in the ribs to make him move.
"And knowing you 'we' means now that _I_ am the one who has to get us there, right?" Die pouted a bit at first but then decided it wasn't worth it. Besides, his pants were getting too wet anyways, which felt highly unpleasant, and he would've gladly found some land to get dry again.
Preferably of course, he wanted to find a harbor with good hotel, hot chicks and a lot of alcohol. But really, even a mediocre hotel would've been sufficient.
So he began to swim into the pointed direction, struggling to be able to move properly as he had the other guitarist clinging on to his back all the time.
For some time, they both remained silent, but then it began to annoy the older guitarist and he asked himself how big was the possibility that there were some hungry sharks underneath them, just waiting till they were weak enough to attack. It made him nervous, writhe and squirm and he tried to see if there was something moving in the darkness underneath them.
To distract himself from the thought, he took on a questioning tone. "Say Die," he spoke up, almost as if he was pondering, "are you afraid of sharks?" Maybe he could make the redhead swim faster and get them anywhere...
"Sharks!?" Die had been happily swimming up until then, only thinking how he could get rid of the other man who was currently trying to strangle him with his arms tightly wrung around his neck. Startled out of his contemplations, he shrieked though, imagining those big sharp shark-teeth digging into his soft flesh. That would ruin his perfect skin for god's sake! And it wouldn’t feel that pleasant either, probably.
Although Die had always been a good swimmer he now showed his true talent, sprinting forward faster than any of the world champion swimmers ever.
Inwardly, Kaoru was snickering evilly, very content with the result. If they kept on swimming into the same direction with this speed, they should reach SOMETHING sometime. After all, there were islands in the ocean. Japan was an island and if one took it very serious, everything was an island. How long could it take to reach some dry land?
When Die began to slack off a bit, slowing down because he was out of breath, the lead guitarist pursed his lips. "I think there's a fin behind us..."
"Why don't YOU swim a bit then, smart-ass?" Die was wheezing, turning enough to glare at the other man. He tried to see if there actually was something behind them, but as he couldn't see anything he decided it was better to play secure and swim faster just in case. Who cared about a burning lung or two.
"Because somebody needs to navigate!" Kaoru presented the only plausible answer in his opinion. Suddenly, the very unlikely happened and he indeed spotted a dark shadow ahead of them. But it wasn't a shark nor a whale, it looked very much like .... an island.
"Land ahead!!!!" he screamed, backing himself up with his hands on Die's shoulders and with that, pushed his friend under water. "Die!" he admonished. "No time for a nap now. Swim faster!"
Die cast an angry glare at the other man, meanwhile coughing his lungs out, but decided not to argue for the time being, since it was more important to get to the island eventually. For a moment, he considered to just drop the older man off him and leave him there, but then came to the conclusion that, if Kaoru would make it somehow, he wouldn't want to face his wrath.
Both men were exhausted when their feet finally touched firm ground, dragging themselves up the shore with their last powers. The sun had sunk completely by then and both just collapsed right on the spot, their legs still remaining in the water.
Kaoru asked himself if the nights would be very cold. He wouldn't want to have to cuddle with the redhead just to survive. But then... would it be that bad? Suddenly, his head snapped up. Where had this thought just come from? Why did he imagine that Die's smooth cool skin would feel heavenly against his own? Probably the exhaustion. Yes, that must have been the reason.
"Die..." he mumbled. "Get up and collect some wood so that we can make a fire."
"Me?" Die pursed his lips defiantly and folded his arms across his chest, looking at the other man straight. "I did all the swimming! Now it's YOUR turn to be useful and go into that friggin' dark forest to find something we can burn." He shrugged, sat up and took a look at the ocean. "I'll... keep watch. Right. Keep watch."
At mentioning the thick dark forest ahead, a cold shiver ran down Kaoru's spine and his mind provided him with all the nasty creatures that were probably living there and only waited for a gorgeous, firm lead-guitarist to be their prey. Still, he was the man of the band! Right, the man.
Telling himself that, he got up and determinedly marched towards the forest until Die lost sight of him. It didn't take ten seconds and Kaoru came back, running as if he was chased by the devil himself, shrieking like a girl again. "I decided that we wait till dawn!" he informed the redhead and instantly cuddled close to him in the pretence to keep him warm. Of course he was only scared, but nobody needed to know that.
Truth to be told, Die had just been about to get up and follow the other man, in the pretence to protect him of course, but then hadn't had the time before the other had already come back shrieking.
The redhead tried to cover his relief with an admonishing tone, frowning a bit as he looked at his bandmate. "And you think we'll stay warm enough until then?" He didn't really mind as the forest didn't look that inviting at all.
"There's a small clearance over there." Now that he had company again, Kaoru felt much more courageous than a moment before. He got up, pulling Die with him and together, they found a small spot that was surrounded by some bushes and a few rocks. At least the wind wouldn't harm them there and, without thinking that putting up a huge bonfire to light their possible rescuers the way would have been a clever idea, they curled up close to each other, instantly falling asleep.
It didn't last long in Kaoru's case though and he felt the urgent need to relieve his bladder. "Die...," he nudged his friend. "I need to go!"
Die wasn't completely in the real world yet as he was pulled back from the land of dreams and he didn't instantly realize where they were. "Then go!" He mumbled sleepily, turned around and nuzzled back against the comfortable rock he had been resting his head on.
"But..." Kaoru needed a second to think of a good reason why he shouldn't go alone without giving away that the noises of the dark really scared the wits out of him. "I don't think that's wise. What if there's wild animals here? They could attack you or me. It's better to stick together."
"Wild animals? In Tokyo?" The redhead mumbled, sitting up finally and blinking to see properly again. Come to think of it, this place was awfully dark and quiet to be the city he was used to living in, not to mention those scary noises of nature that were coming from every single direction.
Instantly, he was awake again, eyes wide and got up on his feet in no time. "Second thoughts, I need to go too."
Together, they took a few tentative steps into the brushwood, both men eying each other to see if one of them slowed down and decided they had gone far enough. "This tree looks perfect," Kaoru announced, not willing to go any further. He turned his back on his friend and opened his pants, trying hard to concentrate on the task ahead. "And no peeking!" he admonished, although it wouldn't have been very likely in the dark.
"Like I'm even interested." Die snorted, but nevertheless cast a glance over his shoulder as the older man didn't notice. What? Kaoru should've known better than to provoke his curious nature that tended to get him into troubles anyways at times. Nervously, Die eyed the forest around them, trying to open his eyes wider to see something so that he could spot the attacking animals before it was too late.
No matter where Kaoru looked at, he saw shining eyes glaring at him, ready to attack any second. Finally, he closed his eyes, telling himself over and over again that this was nothing but his imagination. When he looked up again, there was a noise in the bush right ahead of him and two gleaming lights seemed to pierce through the darkness.
"Die! Let's go!" Without waiting for an answer, he flung around, grabbed the collar of his friend's jacket and dragged him away, his steps so hasty that he almost tripped over his legs. Hadn't he told his bandmates that this trip had been a bad idea? Why on earth was he the one who got punished; having to survive on a deserted island together with the nice but slightly dull redhead? Okay, he was being mean now, but the situation forgave mental slips like that.
Die had no idea why they were running, but he didn't really care either, because the sounds of the forest were already freaking him out seriously. He had grabbed his friend's hand in his, and they both ran, ran until they couldn't anymore. They found themselves at the beach again, panting and wheezing and just staring frightened at the forest, hoping nothing had followed them.
"I think it would be best if we slept here tonight. Just in case somebody is looking for us," Kaoru said, trying to keep the nervous shaking of his body under control. He was a city-child, not used to spend his nights out in the wild without even a tent, if one counted out the one in his pants. What? Did the fright excite him so much? Or then it was... His gaze roamed down to their still combined hands. No way! Quickly, he yanked himself free and curled up on the soft sand. "Good night!"
Slightly miserable, the younger man kept on watching his bandmate's back for a moment. What if some huge and scary monster just appeared right now from the forest and tried to eat him up? He would've wanted some kind of reassurance from the older man, be it only words like 'this'll be alright' or something. Finally he plopped down as well though, curled up and carefully shifted a bit closer to the smaller man.
When the first rays of sun warmed Kaoru's face, he blinked tiredly. It only took a split-second until the happenings of the past day had seeped into his mind again and he sat up suddenly. Where the fuck was Die?
When he let his gaze roam to the left, he saw the redhead sitting in the sand, working on some kind of stick with a stone. Curiously, Kaoru got up and came closer. "What are you doing?" This was so typical for Die. Instead of collecting firewood or writing 'HELP' with seashells into the sand, he was occupying himself with some useless stuff.
"It's a spear." Die informed instantly, lifting the stick that he had sharpened slightly at one end. He looked unmistakeably proud, holding up that pitiful stick of wood like it was the most precious thing on this whole planet.
"A spear?" Kaoru reassured and after receiving a nod asked the inevitable follow-up question. "What for?" There were various things he could imagine to be useful, but a spear? Maybe Die wanted to become their protector against wild animals and would be willing to watch over his sleep from now on so that nothing could harm his great band-leader. Yeah, right!
"For hunting food, you silly thing!" The redhead snorted, shaking his head as if it was the most stupid question in the long line of stupid questions. "We still need to eat here." He arched an eyebrow questioningly. "And how were you thinking of arranging things?"
He was simply all too proud of his own hand made spear and determined to show what a great hunter he was by getting them dinner. "You can do the women's work and collect some firewood." He waved dismissively, heading towards the sea with his spear.
Following the other man's bouncy steps for a moment with his gaze, Kaoru shook his head and released a deep sigh. Well, why shouldn't he allow the redhead to have his fun? At least he would be busy for some time and couldn't get him in the way while he took care of the really important things. Very much to his chagrin, collecting firewood indeed was one of those duties. Certainly not for the endless amount of hunted and pretty dead animals the redhead would get them though.
Without further ado, Kaoru went to work and it didn't take long until he had gathered a nice heap of dry enough branches to light a fire. On his way, he had seen a few rocks on the beach where he decided one would see it far enough. At least he had his lighter there and since even he had to be lucky once, this achievement of modern technology indeed still worked. Now they would only have to make sure that the fire didn't go out.
From afar, he could see Die standing in the water which reached up to his hips, the spear held up and he seemed to be highly concentrated. His jeans and shirt were lying on the beach still and he stood there in his boxers, bare-chested. Not a bad sight, Kaoru caught himself thinking and quickly added in mind, 'If I were a girl'.
Maybe somebody should remind him that he didn't like seafood? No. He looked so cute how he eagerly poked the sharp wood into the water without ever hitting a fish as it seemed. Only when Kaoru had created the gigantic 'help’-sign with collected sea-shells and bright stones, he stepped close to the other man. He had rolled up the legs of his jeans and simply watched him for a while, eyed the tense muscles under the smooth white skin intensely. 'What?' Well, he tended to become poetic when he let his mind wander...
Die was completely focused on his task and he was certain that every single time he tried, he got closer to getting a fish! It wasn't his fault that the damn things were so friggin' slippery and fast and annoying. After some time, he wanted to get one of them simply to gut it as a punishment for being so goddamn hard to catch. It took him a long moment until he spotted the other man there watching him, and for some strange reason the look made him blush slightly. He only arched an eyebrow though, looking questioning. "The fire ready?"
"Longest." Kaoru smirked, even chuckled a bit as he had something in store for his bandmate. "And?" he asked hypocritically. "Got something already?" He still stole covert glances at Die's naked upper body and instantly slapped himself mentally for it. He must have stayed in the sun for too long already; wasn't used to it.
"No, but I got close." Die nodded convinced, eyeing the surface of the water again as if trying to catch a glimpse of a fish underneath. "It shouldn't take long and I'll get something for dinner."
"I appreciate the offer." The older guitarist was laughing whole-heartedly by then. "And you are well known for your incurable hunger for fish..."
The redhead was already about to reply something really intelligent, but then the truth slowly seeped into his brains, leaving him staring at his friend, an awfully mean and sarcastic one by the way, his mouth slightly open. "Wha-?" When he realized that Kaoru's words were indeed the truth, he angrily marched out of the water, throwing his spear, his pride and joy, into the fire as he walked past it. Instantly, he headed towards the forest again, already having a plan B in his mind.
The gesture caused Kaoru to bounce up and down, holding his stomach as he was roaring with laughter. Whatever Die had in mind now, he was sure it was something equally dumb. Though his butt looked edible with the wet shorts which were sticking to it, revealing the small curve that was usually hidden by his baggy jeans. That thought caused the laughter to get stuck in the older guitarist's throat. He needed rest! Definitely! And preferably somewhere in the shadows.
At that moment the redhead was completely oblivious to the thoughts that were running through his friend's mind. One, he was still angry, practically fuming that the bandleader hadn't informed him sooner about the tiny flaw in his plan. And two, because he was hungry as hell and wanted to get something to eat, NOW. Besides, he was busy with trying to put his second plan into action.
Carefully, he chose a young tree, cutting it with the knife he had happened to have in his pocket thankfully. Soon, he was sitting beside the fire, concentrated on building a bow for hunting. 'That's the way Die!' he praised himself. 'Get something else to eat than those disgusting fishes.'
After taking a long nap in the shadow of a tree, Kaoru almost felt like being on holidays. There was only one tiny flaw ... There was no hotel, no hot chicks serving him exotic drinks with umbrellas in them and - which was the worst - no cigarettes!
That thought made him get up finally. It should be possible to dry some leaves and smoke them, shouldn't it? The more he became aware that it could take a long time until he could cure his craving for a cig, the more he wanted one. On his ramble through the forest, he found nothing and his mood dropped below zero.
Maybe he could entertain himself with Die a bit? That thought instantly sent images through his mind where he was lying on a huge couch, the redhead serving him grapes, dressed in nothing but a whiff of white cloth. Where the heck did that come from? No matter where, it certainly was Die's fault. Annoyed and grumpy since he neither had a fag nor a coffee or a morning-shag, Kaoru stomped over to his bandmate, determined to make his day as bad as his own. "What's up there, Robin?" he asked, deliberately merry.
"Shut the heck up, old man," Die answered instantly, not even bothering to glare angrily at the other guitarist since he was all too bouncy again due to his new and shiny plan. Beaming happily, he presented the other man his newest creation, looking even more proud than with the spear if possible.
He was holding up a thin branch of a tree which was bent to form an arch, and apparently it was his idea of a hunting bow. He even had some shabby little arrows to go with it, and he was chuckling happily to himself as he tied them together and fixed them to hang from his belt so that he could have them with him without the need to use one hand to carry them around while hunting.
Kaoru had to admit that there was something utterly adorable in the redhead's expression and in his bounciness. Did he have the heart to destroy this pretty picture? Again, there were images flaring up in his mind, but those are censored and very much private.
Still, yes, he did! "And what are you going to hunt with it? Snails?" he asked mocking. Truth to be told, the shabby construction didn't look like one could really shoot an arrow from it; let alone one of Die's arrows.
"Shut up you non-believer!" Die seemed to have endless faith in his bow though and he determinedly marched towards the forest. "I'll go now and soon return with the tastiest dinner you've ever had in your life!" If nothing else, he surely had self confidence more than enough.
"Then make sure to disembowel and skin your prey before, 'cause I certainly won't cook anything that still has a face!" Kaoru shouted after him, but then had a bright idea. Die still didn't wear a shirt and only wore his jeans now. Grabbing a fistful of mud, the smaller guitarist darted after him. "You should camouflage yourself," he advised and instantly smeared the dirt over Die's back, moving his hand over to his chest.
The mud was cold and it made Die shriek instantly, the sound far too un-manly for his own liking. First he tried to wrestle the other man off, but soon had to give in and allow him to smear the mud all over him. As he was done, some of the mud even on his face, he frowned slightly. "Done now? If yes, then be a good girl and get to the cooking part."
That comment earned him a kick against the shinbone and a murderous glare. Kaoru might've been anything, great band-leader, handsome, tough, heavy smoker, talented guitarist and, when it came to the ladies, perfect lover, but he certainly wasn't a girl. With a snort, he turned around and left his bandmate standing there alone. Somebody would have to look after the fire anyways. Damn! That was indeed a girly thing to do. But no, it was a CLEVER thing to do. Certainly better than trying to hunt something without being experienced at all.
Die was totally convinced that he was a great hunter, and set out to fulfil his task instantly. It took more than an hour before he re-appeared on the beach, wheezing and panting after chasing everything from a squirrel to a parrot. Needless to mention he hadn't been fast enough, and even though he actually WAS able to shoot with his bow, he definitely didn't have the aim of a hunter. Yet, he was far too stubborn to let go already, only thinking he needed something slower as a target.
"And?" Kaoru had calmed down and had lit another fire on the beach. "Where's our dinner?" He really hadn't expected Die to catch anything, but he had to admit that he was getting hungry too. Only then it occurred to him that they didn't have anything to drink either. No sweet water at least. Somebody should go and try to find some. Maybe Die had seen a well during his hunt?
"It's on its way," Die grumbled, straightened and tried to look like the great hunter he was. "I just need something... slower," he confessed, and was hit by an idea instantly. His expression lightened up and he took a few quick steps towards the shore. He didn't even need to wait for long before he spotted something, releasing a happy sound and sprinting forward. It was a turtle, a big and old one and definitely slow enough. Instantly he raised his bow, aiming carefully.
Kaoru, on the other hand, raised his hand. "Die wait! Those are protected!" If he had given it a careful thought, he wouldn't have believed that Die could ever kill a living creature. He still remembered how the redhead had cried his eyes out when his mother's cat had died a couple of years ago. Still, seeing the redhead so determined was something one didn't see often and it was even ... appealing.
"But we need food!" Die protested firmly and didn't falter. Still, the longer he looked at the creature in front of him, the harder it became to actually release the arrow. Those huge and pleading turtle-eyes were staring at him and he could practically hear the animal beg for mercy.
For some time he fought with himself but finally didn't even see the creature anymore due to the tears in his eyes. He tried hard not to show them though and lowered his great weapon, shrugging. "I bet those taste like fish anyways." He pursed his lips defiantly.
For once, the older guitarist didn't mock him although he certainly knew the reason why Die hadn't killed the turtle. Instead, he met him half way, wrapped one arm around his shoulders and said. "Don't worry. You'll get your chance to slaughter some innocent animal and bathe in its blood like a great huntsman should." An accidental look into the sky made him frown. Thick clouds were gathering there and now that he thought of it, the wind had increased as well, had become more than the soft breeze that had been blowing before.
"Die, I think we should put up something to gather sweet-water AND find something to shelter us!" Forgotten was the fire, forgotten the great plan to wait at the beach for their rescue. All that seemed important all of a sudden was to get a roof over the head as Kaoru surely didn't feel like getting all wet again without the possibility to put on something dry afterwards. Where the hell were their friends anyways? Didn't they miss them?
"Put up WHAT to gather water?" Die sighed, his merry spirit gone for the moment. "And I'm HUNGRY!" He couldn't help but to sound somewhat whining, as the hole in his stomach constantly reminded of its presence. He knew that Kaoru was right though, and surrendered to his fate to be hungry forever. "What if we'd go and try to seek in the forest? Maybe there's something like a cave in there?"
At that moment, the older guitarist didn't have any brighter idea and thus nodded shrugging. So far, this had been fun even, an adventure, but now it became annoying and a threat to their lives. What if he lost too many kilos? How would he look then? He was so proud that he had gained a little and didn't look like a chicken anymore but like a real man; especially with his chin-beard.
The redhead's thoughts didn't even get as far as losing some weight, because he was more mourning the instant moment of hunger and the wasted moments of relaxing on the deck of the ship with a good drink. Still, there wasn't much he could do about it at the moment and so they both headed into the forest to see if they could find a shelter. Neither of them had been far into the forest yet, not even Die during his hunting trip, and so they didn't have a clear idea of how big the island really was.
Author:
seinen_no and fonulynRating: NC17 overall
Pairing: DiexKaoru,
Disclaimer: We own no one, only our dirty imaginations.
Summary: Dir en grey is shooting their new video in the Caribbean, coevally enjoying their free time and the chance to have both vacation and work in one go. When Kaoru goes overboard, and Die heroically tries to save him, they both end up on a cursed island, suddenly fighting for survival. *insert theatrical drumming* It’s total crack x) At leas supposed to be humor :D
Comments:
seinen_no: Oookay. Here's the next fulfilled request. Dear, I'm glad you liked it and lemme assure you that your request alone made me burst out laughing and gave me all these funny images. I really loved it and I loved that you were so precise and in a way really crazy. fonulyn was a bit afraid that we couldn't make it a good fic, because she thought we can't be really funny on request, but I do think it worked out quite well. So in the end, we really did have fun writing this and just the fact that this is so off the hook and totally senseless made me enjoy it to no end. So I should thank you for the request. I'm sure we would've never ever written something like that otherwise.Everybody else: Don't expect realism nor sense and just entertainment (hopefully) and of course a bit of smut. Tell us what you think as we're suckers for comments x)
fonulyn: As said before, I was a bit nervous about writing this since well, being funny isn’t one of my strongest points x) But it was after all fun to write, and I hope that you enjoy reading it too :D It’s FAR from being realistic and don’t even try to take it seriously x) Just read and I hope it makes someone happy.And feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive.
Written for:
melissalovedieOriginal request:
pairing: a DieXKaoru fic(how surprising XD, you so totally gasped at that one lol)
genre: how about the fluffiest and dorkiest, yet hottest fic you've written? ;D
What i would like: hmmm it has always been in my mind to read a fic where Dir en grey is going on a boattrip and cause of the fact that Kao and Die fall off the boat, they get stuck on an island and some weird unknown guy, predicts their future, they don't believe him but *tadaaa* it all comes true....and i would like to have a decent house on that island(electricity and stuffs, you know the kind where people can survive in) full luxury, but [insert overdramatic eyemovement+overdramatic pause] what the two don't know is that the island's cursed..
okay forgive me and my detail-post, you can still add your own ideas ofcourse, the only thing i don't want to(but i know you don't want that either) are a dead kao/Die. oh and and i want a Seme!Die for once :3:
'Finally,' Kaoru thought, based his elbows on the rail and looked at the dark blue ocean ahead. It certainly hadn't been his idea to go on a boat-trip, but their management had decided that the Caribbean background would be perfect for their new video. Ignoring the fact that he, the leader of the band, still wasn't able to swim properly, he had been overruled by the others.
Die had thought he could get a tan and he simply loved the image of himself lolling on deck, a cocktail in his hand, right from the beginning. Kyo had been enthusiastic too since being on a boat also meant that there certainly wouldn't be any fans around who could bug him or annoy him to no end. Toshiya had been all hyper since he had read in 'Man's health' that swimming is good for broad shoulders and he was up for a tan as well.
Kaoru still saw the bassist and his second guitarist before his mind's eye when they had heard the suggestion for the boat-trip, both so excited that they had been jumping up and down, grabbing each other by the shoulders. Shinya, the only one on whom Kaoru had relied to be against the idea as well, had disappointed him majorly. He had simply said that this would be a good opportunity to relax without having much to do but to shoot the video in between and relax.
So not even the fact that Kaoru's vote as a leader counted double had mattered anymore. Not that it really would have mattered, but in his opinion his vote should count twice as much as the others'…
Sighing deep, he dug out his cigarettes, placed the package on the rail and lit one, blowing the smoke into the sky that was turning orange already, predicting the nearing sundown.
This had even started out wrong. When they had arrived at the harbor where the beautiful wooden boat, ship, brick, cog or whatever this was, had awaited them, they had been told that they would have to stay in the dock for the first night. Apparently, there had been a storm which had prevented their departure and they had had to wait for the flood to be able to leave.
Only the remembrance of the party in the small tavern made Kaoru smile. It had been some time since they had had the opportunity to grab some drinks just the five of them and the crew. It had been fun and Kaoru had enjoyed the time with his friends to the fullest …. until … yes, until this fortune-teller had appeared.
How big was the chance that a fortune-teller showed up in a shabby small tavern on some fucking Caribbean island who spoke fluently Japanese? Zero? Kaoru had thought so too, but he had been proven wrong. This man, woman, gypsy or whatever had just appeared from out of nowhere, had instantly approached him and taken his hand. What the fuck?
The guy's grasp had been so strong that he had had no chance to yank himself free, very much to his bandmates' amusement. "Tell him his future!" Kyo had demanded grinning and the others had agreed, laughing and yelling as they all had had a couple of beers and some of this weird tasting cheap rum already. "First money!" the fortune-teller had demanded and Die, the incarnation of generosity, had placed a few notes in the man's free hand, bouncing up and down excitedly.
He hadn't expected though that, after storing the money somewhere in one of the zillion layers of his clothes, the fortune-teller would grab his hand as well. "There we have a match!" he had piped, a huge smile showing a row of rotten teeth. By then, Kaoru had been laughing as well. 'Yeah … match,' he had thought, winking at his redheaded friend. For a long moment, the fortune-teller had examined both of the guitarists' palms and finally looked up with a serious expression. "You two are meant to be," he had said, the words fraught with meaning. "Meant to be what?" Kaoru and Die had asked simultaneously, but the man had already let go of them and simply left the tavern.
Although Kaoru and his friends had laughed about the incident, he couldn't stop thinking about it. Even when they had left the harbor in the early morning hours of the next day, he had been unable to fall asleep in his small bunk-bed in the cabin.
At least they all had their own cabins; no snoring, no other body-noises, no Die who threw himself from one side to the other or Shinya who constantly banged on everything in reach; no vocalist who told whole fairytales in his sleep or a bassist who seemed to have a serious issue with being in love with himself.
Lost in these kinds of thoughts, Kaoru stared into nothingness, not noticing that the cigarette between his lips was already burned to the filter. Suddenly, there was a huge jerk going thought the ship and, he had no idea how that had happened, he lost balance. Maybe he shouldn't have leaned over the rail to see if one could look into the cabin underneath…
With a highly undignified and very much girly shriek, he went overboard, hitting the water's surface with a loud splash.
Meanwhile, the redheaded guitarist had been leaning on the railing at the opposite side of the deck, his eyes closed and simply enjoying the warmth of the sun on his face. Outwardly, he was the picture of calmness but inwardly, there was happening much more. Or not that much, when it was about Die whose brain capacity was commonly known to be below the average.
He wasn't dumb, really not, but he was constantly too unfocused to actually manage to concentrate on things long enough to show his intelligence. Right now he was waiting, more or less patiently, for the promised drink Toshiya had left to get for him. They had planned on bathing in the sun and enjoying their drinks for as long as possible before they would have to work actually; and their time was dangerously running out.
Die could already TASTE the drink if he concentrated hard, some of the liquid running down from the corner of his mouth because he was taking too large sips. That thought was the one that made him snap back to reality somewhat and frowning, he wiped away the drool that was already running down his chin.
Hopefully no one had seen... But hey, it was a completely understandable reaction when he was waiting for something as delicious as a good drink!
Again, he was pulled back from his thoughts though when he heard a high-pitched shriek cut through the air. It sounded like Kaoru, but hey, wasn't Kaoru supposed to be like the manly man? The one with the LOW voice instead of a shrieking one like that?
Nevertheless Die acted on instinct and instantly turned to look at the place where the older man had been standing previously. Nothing. Only an empty railing. 'Shit!' the redhead cursed inwardly, taking a few running steps to look over the railing.
There Kaoru was, down in the water, waving his hands in the air and shrieking like there was no tomorrow. Knowing that Kaoru still couldn't swim well if his feet didn't touch the ground, which Die highly doubted could be the case right now, he saw no other option than to jump in to be the knight in shining armor, the great savior whom everyone would worship and get him dozens of drinks afterwards...
All of this flashed through Die's mind in mere seconds, believe it or not, and before he had the time to re-consider his actions, he jumped down into the water over the railing. "Kaoru! I'm coming!"
The lead-guitarist only had the time to try and get away from the rail, paddling like a dog, not to be hit by his bandmate. Thank God somebody had heard him. Okay, it was Die coming to the rescue, but even Die was somebody and one always could rely on him to be there when needed.
"Over here!" he screamed, gargling because he had gotten some water in his mouth. Luckily, Die was a good swimmer and reached him within mere seconds. Kaoru was so glad, that he grabbed him and clung to his back, almost drowning both of them until the redhead had managed to turn on his back so that he was floating more or less steadily on the surface.
Meanwhile, the distance between them and the ship grew bigger and bigger and when Kaoru noticed it, he asked. "Where's the life buoy? Where are the others?"
"Life-what?" Die looked pricelessly dumb, opening his eyes wide and gazing at the other man. "And the others, they're probably inside. Why?" He shrugged a bit and almost managed to get both of them underwater with the sudden movement. Coughing, they got back to the surface, and Die tried his best to keep both of them up so that they could actually breathe.
Still it earned him a not too weak slap on the head. "Idiot! And who's now going to pull us back on board?" For a long second, both men looked each other in the eye and then suddenly turned their heads towards the retreating ship, screaming at the top of their lungs. "HEEEEEEELP!!!!"
Toshiya had been delayed by Kyo who had demanded some CD back, but finally stepped out on deck. As he found the spot, where Die had been waiting for him empty, he simply shrugged, thinking the guitarist had had one of his sudden ideas again or then had been forced by Kaoru to work on some song. Shrugging, he went back inside, sipping the redhead's drink merrily and thinking he could ask Shinya to kill him some time instead. The desperate cries from somewhere far away remained unheard.
It took a long moment before the two guitarists finally gave up on screaming for help. It had more to do with the fact that they were getting water in their mouths and ended up coughing forcefully which pretty much ruined their good attempts in pleading for help than in the lack of energy.
When they realized that neither of their friends noticed their distress, Die instantly created a huge pout, totally forgetting that he was the one holding both of them above water as he folded his arms across his chest. "That's so not fair! They should come and save us like I came to save you!"
It resulted in Kaoru slowly sinking under water, but as he was pouting too, he relied on his friend to drag him up again. "They will so do overtime once I'm back!" he ranted, looking around to check their situation.
There was no land in sight; nothing but the free wild ocean greeting them in every direction. "We go there!" the leader decided, pointed into a certain direction and gave the redhead an ungentle jab in the ribs to make him move.
"And knowing you 'we' means now that _I_ am the one who has to get us there, right?" Die pouted a bit at first but then decided it wasn't worth it. Besides, his pants were getting too wet anyways, which felt highly unpleasant, and he would've gladly found some land to get dry again.
Preferably of course, he wanted to find a harbor with good hotel, hot chicks and a lot of alcohol. But really, even a mediocre hotel would've been sufficient.
So he began to swim into the pointed direction, struggling to be able to move properly as he had the other guitarist clinging on to his back all the time.
For some time, they both remained silent, but then it began to annoy the older guitarist and he asked himself how big was the possibility that there were some hungry sharks underneath them, just waiting till they were weak enough to attack. It made him nervous, writhe and squirm and he tried to see if there was something moving in the darkness underneath them.
To distract himself from the thought, he took on a questioning tone. "Say Die," he spoke up, almost as if he was pondering, "are you afraid of sharks?" Maybe he could make the redhead swim faster and get them anywhere...
"Sharks!?" Die had been happily swimming up until then, only thinking how he could get rid of the other man who was currently trying to strangle him with his arms tightly wrung around his neck. Startled out of his contemplations, he shrieked though, imagining those big sharp shark-teeth digging into his soft flesh. That would ruin his perfect skin for god's sake! And it wouldn’t feel that pleasant either, probably.
Although Die had always been a good swimmer he now showed his true talent, sprinting forward faster than any of the world champion swimmers ever.
Inwardly, Kaoru was snickering evilly, very content with the result. If they kept on swimming into the same direction with this speed, they should reach SOMETHING sometime. After all, there were islands in the ocean. Japan was an island and if one took it very serious, everything was an island. How long could it take to reach some dry land?
When Die began to slack off a bit, slowing down because he was out of breath, the lead guitarist pursed his lips. "I think there's a fin behind us..."
"Why don't YOU swim a bit then, smart-ass?" Die was wheezing, turning enough to glare at the other man. He tried to see if there actually was something behind them, but as he couldn't see anything he decided it was better to play secure and swim faster just in case. Who cared about a burning lung or two.
"Because somebody needs to navigate!" Kaoru presented the only plausible answer in his opinion. Suddenly, the very unlikely happened and he indeed spotted a dark shadow ahead of them. But it wasn't a shark nor a whale, it looked very much like .... an island.
"Land ahead!!!!" he screamed, backing himself up with his hands on Die's shoulders and with that, pushed his friend under water. "Die!" he admonished. "No time for a nap now. Swim faster!"
Die cast an angry glare at the other man, meanwhile coughing his lungs out, but decided not to argue for the time being, since it was more important to get to the island eventually. For a moment, he considered to just drop the older man off him and leave him there, but then came to the conclusion that, if Kaoru would make it somehow, he wouldn't want to face his wrath.
Both men were exhausted when their feet finally touched firm ground, dragging themselves up the shore with their last powers. The sun had sunk completely by then and both just collapsed right on the spot, their legs still remaining in the water.
Kaoru asked himself if the nights would be very cold. He wouldn't want to have to cuddle with the redhead just to survive. But then... would it be that bad? Suddenly, his head snapped up. Where had this thought just come from? Why did he imagine that Die's smooth cool skin would feel heavenly against his own? Probably the exhaustion. Yes, that must have been the reason.
"Die..." he mumbled. "Get up and collect some wood so that we can make a fire."
"Me?" Die pursed his lips defiantly and folded his arms across his chest, looking at the other man straight. "I did all the swimming! Now it's YOUR turn to be useful and go into that friggin' dark forest to find something we can burn." He shrugged, sat up and took a look at the ocean. "I'll... keep watch. Right. Keep watch."
At mentioning the thick dark forest ahead, a cold shiver ran down Kaoru's spine and his mind provided him with all the nasty creatures that were probably living there and only waited for a gorgeous, firm lead-guitarist to be their prey. Still, he was the man of the band! Right, the man.
Telling himself that, he got up and determinedly marched towards the forest until Die lost sight of him. It didn't take ten seconds and Kaoru came back, running as if he was chased by the devil himself, shrieking like a girl again. "I decided that we wait till dawn!" he informed the redhead and instantly cuddled close to him in the pretence to keep him warm. Of course he was only scared, but nobody needed to know that.
Truth to be told, Die had just been about to get up and follow the other man, in the pretence to protect him of course, but then hadn't had the time before the other had already come back shrieking.
The redhead tried to cover his relief with an admonishing tone, frowning a bit as he looked at his bandmate. "And you think we'll stay warm enough until then?" He didn't really mind as the forest didn't look that inviting at all.
"There's a small clearance over there." Now that he had company again, Kaoru felt much more courageous than a moment before. He got up, pulling Die with him and together, they found a small spot that was surrounded by some bushes and a few rocks. At least the wind wouldn't harm them there and, without thinking that putting up a huge bonfire to light their possible rescuers the way would have been a clever idea, they curled up close to each other, instantly falling asleep.
It didn't last long in Kaoru's case though and he felt the urgent need to relieve his bladder. "Die...," he nudged his friend. "I need to go!"
Die wasn't completely in the real world yet as he was pulled back from the land of dreams and he didn't instantly realize where they were. "Then go!" He mumbled sleepily, turned around and nuzzled back against the comfortable rock he had been resting his head on.
"But..." Kaoru needed a second to think of a good reason why he shouldn't go alone without giving away that the noises of the dark really scared the wits out of him. "I don't think that's wise. What if there's wild animals here? They could attack you or me. It's better to stick together."
"Wild animals? In Tokyo?" The redhead mumbled, sitting up finally and blinking to see properly again. Come to think of it, this place was awfully dark and quiet to be the city he was used to living in, not to mention those scary noises of nature that were coming from every single direction.
Instantly, he was awake again, eyes wide and got up on his feet in no time. "Second thoughts, I need to go too."
Together, they took a few tentative steps into the brushwood, both men eying each other to see if one of them slowed down and decided they had gone far enough. "This tree looks perfect," Kaoru announced, not willing to go any further. He turned his back on his friend and opened his pants, trying hard to concentrate on the task ahead. "And no peeking!" he admonished, although it wouldn't have been very likely in the dark.
"Like I'm even interested." Die snorted, but nevertheless cast a glance over his shoulder as the older man didn't notice. What? Kaoru should've known better than to provoke his curious nature that tended to get him into troubles anyways at times. Nervously, Die eyed the forest around them, trying to open his eyes wider to see something so that he could spot the attacking animals before it was too late.
No matter where Kaoru looked at, he saw shining eyes glaring at him, ready to attack any second. Finally, he closed his eyes, telling himself over and over again that this was nothing but his imagination. When he looked up again, there was a noise in the bush right ahead of him and two gleaming lights seemed to pierce through the darkness.
"Die! Let's go!" Without waiting for an answer, he flung around, grabbed the collar of his friend's jacket and dragged him away, his steps so hasty that he almost tripped over his legs. Hadn't he told his bandmates that this trip had been a bad idea? Why on earth was he the one who got punished; having to survive on a deserted island together with the nice but slightly dull redhead? Okay, he was being mean now, but the situation forgave mental slips like that.
Die had no idea why they were running, but he didn't really care either, because the sounds of the forest were already freaking him out seriously. He had grabbed his friend's hand in his, and they both ran, ran until they couldn't anymore. They found themselves at the beach again, panting and wheezing and just staring frightened at the forest, hoping nothing had followed them.
"I think it would be best if we slept here tonight. Just in case somebody is looking for us," Kaoru said, trying to keep the nervous shaking of his body under control. He was a city-child, not used to spend his nights out in the wild without even a tent, if one counted out the one in his pants. What? Did the fright excite him so much? Or then it was... His gaze roamed down to their still combined hands. No way! Quickly, he yanked himself free and curled up on the soft sand. "Good night!"
Slightly miserable, the younger man kept on watching his bandmate's back for a moment. What if some huge and scary monster just appeared right now from the forest and tried to eat him up? He would've wanted some kind of reassurance from the older man, be it only words like 'this'll be alright' or something. Finally he plopped down as well though, curled up and carefully shifted a bit closer to the smaller man.
When the first rays of sun warmed Kaoru's face, he blinked tiredly. It only took a split-second until the happenings of the past day had seeped into his mind again and he sat up suddenly. Where the fuck was Die?
When he let his gaze roam to the left, he saw the redhead sitting in the sand, working on some kind of stick with a stone. Curiously, Kaoru got up and came closer. "What are you doing?" This was so typical for Die. Instead of collecting firewood or writing 'HELP' with seashells into the sand, he was occupying himself with some useless stuff.
"It's a spear." Die informed instantly, lifting the stick that he had sharpened slightly at one end. He looked unmistakeably proud, holding up that pitiful stick of wood like it was the most precious thing on this whole planet.
"A spear?" Kaoru reassured and after receiving a nod asked the inevitable follow-up question. "What for?" There were various things he could imagine to be useful, but a spear? Maybe Die wanted to become their protector against wild animals and would be willing to watch over his sleep from now on so that nothing could harm his great band-leader. Yeah, right!
"For hunting food, you silly thing!" The redhead snorted, shaking his head as if it was the most stupid question in the long line of stupid questions. "We still need to eat here." He arched an eyebrow questioningly. "And how were you thinking of arranging things?"
He was simply all too proud of his own hand made spear and determined to show what a great hunter he was by getting them dinner. "You can do the women's work and collect some firewood." He waved dismissively, heading towards the sea with his spear.
Following the other man's bouncy steps for a moment with his gaze, Kaoru shook his head and released a deep sigh. Well, why shouldn't he allow the redhead to have his fun? At least he would be busy for some time and couldn't get him in the way while he took care of the really important things. Very much to his chagrin, collecting firewood indeed was one of those duties. Certainly not for the endless amount of hunted and pretty dead animals the redhead would get them though.
Without further ado, Kaoru went to work and it didn't take long until he had gathered a nice heap of dry enough branches to light a fire. On his way, he had seen a few rocks on the beach where he decided one would see it far enough. At least he had his lighter there and since even he had to be lucky once, this achievement of modern technology indeed still worked. Now they would only have to make sure that the fire didn't go out.
From afar, he could see Die standing in the water which reached up to his hips, the spear held up and he seemed to be highly concentrated. His jeans and shirt were lying on the beach still and he stood there in his boxers, bare-chested. Not a bad sight, Kaoru caught himself thinking and quickly added in mind, 'If I were a girl'.
Maybe somebody should remind him that he didn't like seafood? No. He looked so cute how he eagerly poked the sharp wood into the water without ever hitting a fish as it seemed. Only when Kaoru had created the gigantic 'help’-sign with collected sea-shells and bright stones, he stepped close to the other man. He had rolled up the legs of his jeans and simply watched him for a while, eyed the tense muscles under the smooth white skin intensely. 'What?' Well, he tended to become poetic when he let his mind wander...
Die was completely focused on his task and he was certain that every single time he tried, he got closer to getting a fish! It wasn't his fault that the damn things were so friggin' slippery and fast and annoying. After some time, he wanted to get one of them simply to gut it as a punishment for being so goddamn hard to catch. It took him a long moment until he spotted the other man there watching him, and for some strange reason the look made him blush slightly. He only arched an eyebrow though, looking questioning. "The fire ready?"
"Longest." Kaoru smirked, even chuckled a bit as he had something in store for his bandmate. "And?" he asked hypocritically. "Got something already?" He still stole covert glances at Die's naked upper body and instantly slapped himself mentally for it. He must have stayed in the sun for too long already; wasn't used to it.
"No, but I got close." Die nodded convinced, eyeing the surface of the water again as if trying to catch a glimpse of a fish underneath. "It shouldn't take long and I'll get something for dinner."
"I appreciate the offer." The older guitarist was laughing whole-heartedly by then. "And you are well known for your incurable hunger for fish..."
The redhead was already about to reply something really intelligent, but then the truth slowly seeped into his brains, leaving him staring at his friend, an awfully mean and sarcastic one by the way, his mouth slightly open. "Wha-?" When he realized that Kaoru's words were indeed the truth, he angrily marched out of the water, throwing his spear, his pride and joy, into the fire as he walked past it. Instantly, he headed towards the forest again, already having a plan B in his mind.
The gesture caused Kaoru to bounce up and down, holding his stomach as he was roaring with laughter. Whatever Die had in mind now, he was sure it was something equally dumb. Though his butt looked edible with the wet shorts which were sticking to it, revealing the small curve that was usually hidden by his baggy jeans. That thought caused the laughter to get stuck in the older guitarist's throat. He needed rest! Definitely! And preferably somewhere in the shadows.
At that moment the redhead was completely oblivious to the thoughts that were running through his friend's mind. One, he was still angry, practically fuming that the bandleader hadn't informed him sooner about the tiny flaw in his plan. And two, because he was hungry as hell and wanted to get something to eat, NOW. Besides, he was busy with trying to put his second plan into action.
Carefully, he chose a young tree, cutting it with the knife he had happened to have in his pocket thankfully. Soon, he was sitting beside the fire, concentrated on building a bow for hunting. 'That's the way Die!' he praised himself. 'Get something else to eat than those disgusting fishes.'
After taking a long nap in the shadow of a tree, Kaoru almost felt like being on holidays. There was only one tiny flaw ... There was no hotel, no hot chicks serving him exotic drinks with umbrellas in them and - which was the worst - no cigarettes!
That thought made him get up finally. It should be possible to dry some leaves and smoke them, shouldn't it? The more he became aware that it could take a long time until he could cure his craving for a cig, the more he wanted one. On his ramble through the forest, he found nothing and his mood dropped below zero.
Maybe he could entertain himself with Die a bit? That thought instantly sent images through his mind where he was lying on a huge couch, the redhead serving him grapes, dressed in nothing but a whiff of white cloth. Where the heck did that come from? No matter where, it certainly was Die's fault. Annoyed and grumpy since he neither had a fag nor a coffee or a morning-shag, Kaoru stomped over to his bandmate, determined to make his day as bad as his own. "What's up there, Robin?" he asked, deliberately merry.
"Shut the heck up, old man," Die answered instantly, not even bothering to glare angrily at the other guitarist since he was all too bouncy again due to his new and shiny plan. Beaming happily, he presented the other man his newest creation, looking even more proud than with the spear if possible.
He was holding up a thin branch of a tree which was bent to form an arch, and apparently it was his idea of a hunting bow. He even had some shabby little arrows to go with it, and he was chuckling happily to himself as he tied them together and fixed them to hang from his belt so that he could have them with him without the need to use one hand to carry them around while hunting.
Kaoru had to admit that there was something utterly adorable in the redhead's expression and in his bounciness. Did he have the heart to destroy this pretty picture? Again, there were images flaring up in his mind, but those are censored and very much private.
Still, yes, he did! "And what are you going to hunt with it? Snails?" he asked mocking. Truth to be told, the shabby construction didn't look like one could really shoot an arrow from it; let alone one of Die's arrows.
"Shut up you non-believer!" Die seemed to have endless faith in his bow though and he determinedly marched towards the forest. "I'll go now and soon return with the tastiest dinner you've ever had in your life!" If nothing else, he surely had self confidence more than enough.
"Then make sure to disembowel and skin your prey before, 'cause I certainly won't cook anything that still has a face!" Kaoru shouted after him, but then had a bright idea. Die still didn't wear a shirt and only wore his jeans now. Grabbing a fistful of mud, the smaller guitarist darted after him. "You should camouflage yourself," he advised and instantly smeared the dirt over Die's back, moving his hand over to his chest.
The mud was cold and it made Die shriek instantly, the sound far too un-manly for his own liking. First he tried to wrestle the other man off, but soon had to give in and allow him to smear the mud all over him. As he was done, some of the mud even on his face, he frowned slightly. "Done now? If yes, then be a good girl and get to the cooking part."
That comment earned him a kick against the shinbone and a murderous glare. Kaoru might've been anything, great band-leader, handsome, tough, heavy smoker, talented guitarist and, when it came to the ladies, perfect lover, but he certainly wasn't a girl. With a snort, he turned around and left his bandmate standing there alone. Somebody would have to look after the fire anyways. Damn! That was indeed a girly thing to do. But no, it was a CLEVER thing to do. Certainly better than trying to hunt something without being experienced at all.
Die was totally convinced that he was a great hunter, and set out to fulfil his task instantly. It took more than an hour before he re-appeared on the beach, wheezing and panting after chasing everything from a squirrel to a parrot. Needless to mention he hadn't been fast enough, and even though he actually WAS able to shoot with his bow, he definitely didn't have the aim of a hunter. Yet, he was far too stubborn to let go already, only thinking he needed something slower as a target.
"And?" Kaoru had calmed down and had lit another fire on the beach. "Where's our dinner?" He really hadn't expected Die to catch anything, but he had to admit that he was getting hungry too. Only then it occurred to him that they didn't have anything to drink either. No sweet water at least. Somebody should go and try to find some. Maybe Die had seen a well during his hunt?
"It's on its way," Die grumbled, straightened and tried to look like the great hunter he was. "I just need something... slower," he confessed, and was hit by an idea instantly. His expression lightened up and he took a few quick steps towards the shore. He didn't even need to wait for long before he spotted something, releasing a happy sound and sprinting forward. It was a turtle, a big and old one and definitely slow enough. Instantly he raised his bow, aiming carefully.
Kaoru, on the other hand, raised his hand. "Die wait! Those are protected!" If he had given it a careful thought, he wouldn't have believed that Die could ever kill a living creature. He still remembered how the redhead had cried his eyes out when his mother's cat had died a couple of years ago. Still, seeing the redhead so determined was something one didn't see often and it was even ... appealing.
"But we need food!" Die protested firmly and didn't falter. Still, the longer he looked at the creature in front of him, the harder it became to actually release the arrow. Those huge and pleading turtle-eyes were staring at him and he could practically hear the animal beg for mercy.
For some time he fought with himself but finally didn't even see the creature anymore due to the tears in his eyes. He tried hard not to show them though and lowered his great weapon, shrugging. "I bet those taste like fish anyways." He pursed his lips defiantly.
For once, the older guitarist didn't mock him although he certainly knew the reason why Die hadn't killed the turtle. Instead, he met him half way, wrapped one arm around his shoulders and said. "Don't worry. You'll get your chance to slaughter some innocent animal and bathe in its blood like a great huntsman should." An accidental look into the sky made him frown. Thick clouds were gathering there and now that he thought of it, the wind had increased as well, had become more than the soft breeze that had been blowing before.
"Die, I think we should put up something to gather sweet-water AND find something to shelter us!" Forgotten was the fire, forgotten the great plan to wait at the beach for their rescue. All that seemed important all of a sudden was to get a roof over the head as Kaoru surely didn't feel like getting all wet again without the possibility to put on something dry afterwards. Where the hell were their friends anyways? Didn't they miss them?
"Put up WHAT to gather water?" Die sighed, his merry spirit gone for the moment. "And I'm HUNGRY!" He couldn't help but to sound somewhat whining, as the hole in his stomach constantly reminded of its presence. He knew that Kaoru was right though, and surrendered to his fate to be hungry forever. "What if we'd go and try to seek in the forest? Maybe there's something like a cave in there?"
At that moment, the older guitarist didn't have any brighter idea and thus nodded shrugging. So far, this had been fun even, an adventure, but now it became annoying and a threat to their lives. What if he lost too many kilos? How would he look then? He was so proud that he had gained a little and didn't look like a chicken anymore but like a real man; especially with his chin-beard.
The redhead's thoughts didn't even get as far as losing some weight, because he was more mourning the instant moment of hunger and the wasted moments of relaxing on the deck of the ship with a good drink. Still, there wasn't much he could do about it at the moment and so they both headed into the forest to see if they could find a shelter. Neither of them had been far into the forest yet, not even Die during his hunting trip, and so they didn't have a clear idea of how big the island really was.
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Toshiya had been all hyper since he had read in 'Man's health' that swimming is good for broad shoulders and he was up for a tan as well. Just the thought of Toshi reading Men's Health makes me grin like a moron, don't ask why. It's just utterly adorable. Who would've thought that he turned into the six-pack-guy one day
and Die becomes the Diva?...or a bassist who seemed to have a serious issue with being in love with himself. No way man. I'd say I knew that.^^ But I'd love to see that as well. :)
Or not that much, when it was about Die whose brain capacity was commonly known to be below the average. Awww, common knowledge and we still love Die to no end, right? I mean I do. I probably love his missing braincells even more than his looks. Admit that I deserve an award for that. But first you deserve one for writing this. You're killing me - the best way ever.
It resulted in Kaoru slowly sinking under water, but as he was pouting too, he relied on his friend to drag him up again. The brave Captain Kao and his chief mate Die - damn good image! Against this Jack & Rose so suck with all their whining.
"Land ahead!!!!" I dunno why this is making me laugh so hard, I have no clue but it's like überfunny to me.
a gorgeous, firm lead-guitarist FIRM? Fuck yeah! You just have the perfect choice of words. Next time I want details about where Kaoru's firm exactly? =D
After taking a long nap in the shadow of a tree, Kaoru almost felt like being on holidays. There was only one tiny flaw ... Yes, the flaw, I mean, suddenly I saw Die riding Kaoru like woah. Is that me or did the sentence work any magic? XD
"Done now? If yes, then be a good girl and get to the cooking part." Way to go Die! Keep him up that way and I'll love you forever. Gosh, I already do but still. They're both just too adorably written.
Love you. Hand out the next part quick!! =D
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Haha, and I promise we'll give you a detailled report about where Kao's firm:D
But damnit, now I see them both on a tropical island, Kao almost sleeping in the shadows of a single palm tree while Die suddenly jumps him and rides him like nothing. Save a horse, ride a Kao-boy! Fucking yeah.
We give the next part quick, promised!
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Please do. Don't miss out on any part!
Exactly what I mean. You got the picture. XD
I trust your word as usual.
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I love this really much!!
And you're trying to say Kaoru wouldn't screw with Die on a deserted island? oO
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Nope, I'm not saying that x) I'm just saying that the particular image in question might not happen in this fic XD
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We're glad you liked the story and the next part's coming soon^^
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Oh, and a happy new year!
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Nonono :D 'sz' is one word in hungarian, and we pronounce it like the japanese 's' for example in 'asa'
asshole = seggfej XDDD
Happy new year ^^ (tomorrow it won't be happy for me T_T i'll have to go to school x'D)
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Yeah, they're very similar sometimes. XD Once I was watching a Children of Bodom DVD, and I went to the kitchen, and when i came back, for a moment I thought they were speaking in hungarian xD
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haha, that's cool XD You like CoB, eh? I haven't really heard hungarian being spoken much so I can't tell how much it resembles finnish in my opinion XD
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Yeah, they're one of my favourite non-japanese band ^^
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCPAcqwW4PU it's a stupid hungarian tv show XDDD
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Nice :) I like 'em somewhat too. Not my favorites, but they're cool live x)
I'll watch it as soon as I get my loudspeakers working x) Thanks!
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Okay :D
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Thanks for reading and I'm glad you liked it!
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Damn, Kaoru is too adorable XD
I love how Die is trying so hard to save the day and get them food, while failing XD The image of him aiming a self made bow at a turtle is too hilarious 8D
I loved this! Don't hesitate too long to post the next part! :D
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Die's trying hard to be the great hero of the day ;) Too bad that he's not that great of a hunter in reality XD But we all love him for trying! *pets Die*
We'll try not to take too long :D Maybe we'll be able to post it already in the next couple of days. To start the new year with it ;)
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Man, love Toshiya in this fic for acting like that! XD
'What if he lost too many kilos? How would he look then? He was so proud that he had gained a little and didn't look like a chicken anymore but like a real man; especially with his chin-beard.'
I laughed soooo hard when reading this! XDD
Worried about his looks while he's with Die on a deserted island! 8D
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Haha, yeah, I thought it's funny too when the two worry about unimportant things while they should bother about how they get food or can flee the island XD
WE're glad that you enjoyed it and it's such a relief to hear that it's funny. I mean, we both have slight problems with being funny and humor is always hard, 'cause everybody laughs about different things.
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Poor guys. I think I feel for Kaoru in the beginning because I don't swim well either so I would of been freaking out just as bad as he was. But hurry that Die came in and saved him!
Hopefully they find some food and get off that island. I can't wait for the next part! *Dance.*
Oh and btw, the fortune teller part? I was grinning like a dumbass through that whole part. XD
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I would've been clinging to Die just like that regardless if I could swim or not XD Come on, it's a free ticket to get close to him ;)
We'll try to be swift with the continuation! And thanks so much for reading and commenting ;) Always appreciated!
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At least they all had their own cabins; no snoring, no other body-noises, no Die who threw himself from one side to the other or Shinya who constantly banged on everything in reach; no vocalist who told whole fairytales in his sleep or a bassist who seemed to have a serious issue with being in love with himself.
That was just...amazing XD
"Land ahead!!!!" he screamed, backing himself up with his hands on Die's shoulders and with that, pushed his friend under water. "Die!" he admonished. "No time for a nap now. Swim faster!"
I was happily enjoying my yogurt while reading this part, and spit some out on accident due to the sudden laugh this mental image gave me. Omg XDDDD
It didn't take ten seconds and Kaoru came back, running as if he was chased by the devil himself, shrieking like a girl again.
Teehee, poor Kaoru 8D
And all that, in between feelings thing is amusing. XD
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But I can't believe no one pointed this sentence out:
"Kaoru! I'm coming!"
That just made me fall of my chair XDDD
Make this fic verrry long please *puppy eyes*
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some of my fave parts (irl i love everything but some things just made me gigglesnort and laugh my bum off at the same time[just ignore the fact that this is impossible to do...] XD)
their management had decided that the Caribbean background would be perfect for their new video
XDDD i can just SEE what video that would be XDD Kyo screaming out his anger while being accompanied with bazillions of hollahoop girls XDD yep, definitely hardxcore XDDD or Die being drunk in the background and pulling eird faces XDD
"Meant to be what?" Kaoru and Die had asked simultaneously
one thing is that it's funny how they both are like "whu do you mean....meant to be what *don't understand it*" while it's kinda obvious that 'meant to be' can be a sentence alone XD
another thing that would've been funny is if the fortune teller had said "meant to be lovers who screw each other blind almost every night" XDD and just the image of their faces while hearing that made me laugh non-stop for a few minutes(until my dad came in and asked what i was lauhing so hard with that he could hear it XD)
Though his butt looked edible with the wet shorts which were sticking to it, revealing the small curve that was usually hidden by his baggy jeans. That thought caused the laughter to get stuck in the older guitarist's throat
hurhur Kao's so in deniallllll~~~~ *pinches his cheeks cause he's cute when he's embarrassed to death when thinking of the redheads nice butt*
"Shut up you non-believer!"
is it just me or is that sentence alone hilarious? XDDDDD Die and his endless self-confidence
anyway the next part is even more hilarious than the first(cause we know what happens ;D), great work you two^^ best fic yet :DDDDDDDDD
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Ohgosh, and I didn't even think about the dancing-girls to be honest XD *lol THAT would be something totally awesome XD And of course Die would be drunk in the background XD
Of course it's obvious but they still don't get it as they're totally in denial XD haha, and Die is so lovely all self confident ;)
Thank you! :D The next part should follow soon-ish ;)
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I love it!<3
Kao is soo damn cute! *__*
Can't wait for the second chapter~
Aaand you can write funny things *nod* I feel totally entertained xD You should write stuff like that more often *nod* It's great, just great *nod*
*hugs you two*
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We try to be quick with the next chapter^^ And we will write something like this again if we ever get a good idea! heh, so feel free to drop suggestions ;) *hugs*
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Awwh~ I really look forward to it!
+ When I have a good idea I'll tell you so *nod* x3
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I want to read the two soon!!
Kaoru was being an ass sometimes!
Poor die xDD it looked like a captain and sailor roles.
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I really feel like I should give you a better comment, but I'm quite dead at the moment so I'm afraid it won't get better than this now x)
I simply love the story, and I can't wait for the next part! Please be nice to us and post soon 8D~ XDD <3 You two are amazing!
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