rabenhorst (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rabenhorst) wrote2007-11-25 07:30 pm
rabenhorst) wrote2007-11-25 07:30 pm
(no subject)
Title: First Love, Last Love; Chapter 13
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
seinen_no and fonulyn
Rating: NC17 overall
Pairing: Die and Kaoru
Disclaimer: We own no one, only our dirty imaginations.
Summary: When Kaoru and his wife get a divorce, he is forced to leave his little daughter to live with her mother when he’s moving out. He finds support in his best friend, but is friendship everything life has in store for them? Or is their past together going to resurface now that Kaoru’s life has been turned upside down?[yes, I am aware that sounds like an ad for a b-class soap opera XD]
Comments:
seinen_no: Hi! Again we took so long and I must say that it's probably my fault. I've fought some kind of sickness the past week and had shit days at work, because my other colleagues lost the battle and were at home while the rest of us had to struggle with the work. So forgive me that I hardly answered any comments and such lately^^ And now enough of the whining. Enjoy the second last chapter :D
fonulyn: I think this is a nice chapter, with them showing how close to each other they are, and how they've reached this steady state in their relationship in a way. Or then I just love it so much since I love the thought of the two of them sharing their lives together XD Anyways, enjoy and please let us know what you think about it ;)
Oh, and let me direct your attention to the fact thatrabenhorst has a new, shiny and sparkling layout! Thank you so much, sanghamyers for your precious help in coding and setting up the layout^^ *hugs tight* You're the saving angel!
And feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive.
Previously happened: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9 , Part 10, Part 11, Part 12
First Love, Last Love
Chapter 13
The next day already they decided they should tell Nozomi about Mika's pregnancy, seeing that they had pushed it off too long already. Kaoru went to meet her alone, because they figured that it probably wouldn't calm her down if Die went there too, since she still held some hard feelings towards him.
As predicted, she had a total raging attack as she heard the news, going on a rampage and claiming the guitarists had ruined her daughter and her life. Somehow Kaoru managed to calm her down at least somewhat, and a few days later they had a family gathering with Mika and all her four parents, discussing about how to handle the situation.
First of all, they were asking the girl how she imagined things would go with her being a mother, what would happen with school, who paid for her expenses and all. Of course, Mika didn't have an answer for everything, but she made clear that she was determined to finish school and to even study. Nozomi pointed out that this was a tough goal and only achievable if Mika put all her heart into it and if she forwent a lot of things normal girls at her age would do.
Kaoru on his side had been talking about this whole matter to his lover before and both had come to the conclusion that, if their daughter and Sho wanted to form a family, they should live together and take responsibility for themselves. So they had decided to offer to pay an apartment for the young couple and parts of their expenses while Nozomi and her husband would pay the rest. Since Sho's family wasn't wealthy enough to pay a lot for their boy, they couldn't count on them. Still, Sho's mother had made clear she would help whenever it was needed.
Both the teenagers were willing to work for it though, and it made the adults a lot calmer to see that Sho was going to stand by Mika throughout this all, and take his responsibility. But it was settled that both of them would at least try to finish school, and that they would be supported financially until then. Mika would have to get time off from school in the end of the pregnancy though, and for the first months to take care of the baby, but it would only delay studying if everything went according to plans. Getting a home for the young family needed a lot of work though, and after they had found a decent enough apartment, small but neat, they still had to get furniture and other needed everyday things.
It would be a huge change for Mika to move into a small apartment while she had been living in the guitarist's huge one for so many years now. Still, she was looking forward to it and went there with Sho every free minute to paint the walls and get everything ready for the furniture. Kaoru on his side had a small crisis for a couple of days when he finally had realized that his little girl would certainly leave him for good in a couple of weeks. But with Die's tender care and his constant admonishing that the older guitarist should get a grip of himself, he overcame the slight melancholy.
Besides, Die convinced him that being undisturbed in their apartment would have a lot of advantages as well and he made sure to prove that any given opportunity. The guitarists had given the young couple a certain amount of money with which they could buy the needed furniture and other things a decent household would need. Only Mika had asked them to go and see if they found found stuff for the baby's room since she didn't have enough time and was hoping that they would pay for those extra, once they saw all the cute things one could buy for babies.
Nozomi, her mother, had already declined laughing, but had offered she could have some old clothes and such from Mika's younger half-siblings. The guitarists promised to do that for her though, and although they didn't have much of an idea what a small baby's room should look like they set out to the mission determinedly. As long as they'd have some cute furniture and make the room fit for a child, it would be enough, at least they figured it that way. Kaoru tried to remember how Mika's own room had looked like when she had been a small child, and in addition to that they simply used their imagination and even thought that it wouldn't hurt them if they asked for advice in the shops.
When they told their bandmates about that, Toshiya instantly volunteered to go and buy some rompers as well and Kyo promised he would accompany the bassist to stop him from buying the whole stock. Since the guitarists had told them about Mika's pregnancy, they all had been thinking of how to help since they all loved the girl to no end. They had collected some money which the young couple would get at the baby's birth, savings they might need later. Kaoru and Die used a free week to search the babystores and both of them were agreeing on the point that Mika's child should get furniture which was stylish and certainly different from usual baby rooms.
They ended up being really picky about the furniture, and caused stress for everyone who tried to help them at the stores, presenting popular solutions. Somehow they almost always found something wrong with those though, as they didn't meet the image of the room they had wanted. It was beginning to be somewhat of an obsession even, as they were determined to perfect the room.
"C'mon hun, hurry!" Kaoru had grabbed his lover's hand and was dragging him against the current of the workers during rush hour. He was laughing, apologizing here and there when he bumped into somebody, but never stopped his tracks nor let go of the other man's hand. "A friend told me about this store where they sell baby stuff with special prints and such..." The older guitarist had been obsessed lately with buying a rocker with little skulls on it. He had seen one of those once and now didn't let go of the idea.
"Calm down Kao, the store is not going to disappear anywhere!" Die had to laugh at the determination in his lover, but obediently stumbled after him and tried to keep up with the pace. He had been surprised when Kaoru had grabbed his hand in public the first time, simply to walk beside him and not to necessarily use the grip to stop him or pull him into a store. He had been just so accustomed to covering everything, and he wouldn't have believed ever, that Kaoru could be the one to slip in that.
This time, the older guitarist was so excited that he didn't even let go of his lover once they stood inside said shop. It was a bit away from the others in a side-alley and was about to close within the next half hour which had been the reason for the hurry. Slightly out of breath, Die was dragged along the shelves until Kaoru spotted the object of his desire. "See, they got it and look, they even got a buggy like that too."
Kaoru was beaming happily and folded their fingers, squeezing the other man's hand as if to make him agree to everything. Since Mika and Sho had already furnished their bedroom and parts of the living-room, the girl had already moved out and without either of the guitarists noticing it, it was as if somebody had turned a switch and they were suddenly the enamoured couple again instead of being parents. Maybe that was the reason for the older guitarist's behaviour. He simply felt so much at ease with everything that he frankly didn't care about what people thought of them, although this all was happening subconscious.
"And I bet you're determined to buy both of those." Die had to laugh at his lover's obvious enthusiasm. Stepping closer he stretched his neck, trying to see the prize attached to the items. "And what do they cost..?" He was pretty sure his lover would buy them whatever the prize was, and he couldn't do anything to stop him. Not that he even wanted especially.
"Well, let's see." Kaoru found the small sign and when he had read the number, instantly turned it so that the other man couldn't see it. "It's not even as expensive as I would've thought," he answered smiling and released the redhead's hand to check the quality of the cloth and to give the rocker a push to see how it worked.
"Show me the prize." Die demanded, guessing from the reaction that it had to be expensive. "We're still not millionaires! So let me see at least."
Sighing defeated, Kaoru turned the sign around and allowed his lover to see it. He had been hoping the other man wouldn't become suspicious, but after all, Die simply knew him too well. "There and now yell..."
"Are you nuts!" The first reaction was almost a shriek when the redhead saw the amount. "I wouldn't pay that much for any piece of furniture!" He took a look at the other man's pleading face and it instantly made him sigh. He simply couldn't resist that look, not even though he had had years of practice. "Alright. Let's take it."
"Really?" The older guitarist sounded disbelieving, but before his lover could decide otherwise, he received a short peck on the lips and a stunning smile. Before Die knew what happened, Kaoru had also taken the buggy and was waving for the shop-assistant so that the other man couldn't force him to back off anymore.
The small kiss alone had left Die completely stunned and he stared at the older man for a long moment, only snapping back to reality when he felt him tug his hand to move forward. Had Kaoru really just kissed him? In front of all these other customers?
Apparently he had and this time fully on purpose. Kaoru knew that he had always been the more careful one when it came to exchanging small gestures like that in public and had been certain this would leave the other man shocked for a few seconds. He hadn't only done it to make Die agree on buying those items though, but to show him that something had changed. After all, his daughter was having a baby, had moved out, would maybe marry and he simply didn't want anything to cloud his mood, didn't want to hide anymore.
As soon as the younger man survived from his shock he couldn't help but to smile brightly. Somehow his mood brightened considerably due to the small gesture. He was smiling even when they headed out of the shop, not minding in the slightest that they had just spent a hell lot of money. Since they still wanted to go to some other shops, not baby-shops but to buy something for themselves as well, as a small reward so to say, they had asked that the rocker and the buggy would be delivered to Mika's place straight. Strolling down the alley, Kaoru hooked his arm with his lover's, peeking at him from the corner of his eyes with a wide smile on his face.
Slightly disbelieving the redhead took a look at the other man, but as he saw him simply smiling at him he had to mirror the smile. And he couldn't deny that it felt really good to just walk casually arm in arm, enjoying the nice day together and not minding what people might think once they saw them.
"You're cute," Kaoru mentioned by the way and then looked straight ahead again as if he had never said anything. He was full of high spirits, his steps more bouncy and less determined than usual. They were turning the corner, heading for the huge shopping arcade and still he didn't even think about letting go of his lover.
"Cute? How so?" Die had to laugh at the comment, shaking his head a bit. He was simply in a too good mood, even getting happier with each passing moment.
"Just so," came the merry answer. They were just passing by a small kiosk and the older man stopped to buy two cokes and a chocolate bar for both of them. He wasn't even hungry, more thirsty, but still couldn't resist his favourite sweet.
"Just so?" The younger man chuckled, before making a small agreeing sound. "But yeah, I am."
"And still so modest," Kaoru joked, handing his lover the coke and the chocolate bar. Their feet were hurting and thus they sat down beside a water fountain. Kaoru closed his eyes for a moment, his head tilted backwards, and enjoyed the warm evening sun.
"Well, there's no use in denying the truth." Die laughed and eyed the other man's profile carefully, the mere sight making him smile and his heart beat a bit faster. It was almost like they were teenagers in love again.
When the older guitarist opened his eyes and looked at the other man, blinking a couple of times against the sun, he had to laugh. Die had a bit of chocolate smeared at the corner of his mouth and Kaoru wiped it away with his index-finger. "And you're sweet too," he remarked, licking the rest of the sweet from his digit.
"Not me, it's the chocolate." The younger man grinned merrily, pulling his legs close to his chest and simply closed his eyes to enjoy the moment. It was a warm day, one of those kinds when it was so nice to be outside.
Kaoru followed his example, basing his feet on the edge with their shoulders touching. "I still say it's you," he argued playfully after a few seconds of silence had passed. He had closed his eyes as well, but was peeking at the man beside him every now and then, examining those relaxed features which he loved for so many years now and still it felt like he was seeing him for the first time in his life.
"Hm?" Die turned his head a bit to face the other, but didn't open his eyes though. "What is me?" He had completely emptied his mind, just relaxing in the moment.
"The one who's sweet. Not the chocolate." The slightly puzzled expression on the redhead's face made Kaoru smile and since the other's lips were only inches away from his, he couldn't resist closing the distance and just kissing him.
The younger guitarist's eyes snapped open when he felt his lover's lips on his, as it took him by surprise. Never in a million years had he expected that. But this had been a day for surprises anyways. He smiled slightly though, responding to the kiss almost instantly. It didn't last long, but was gentle and slow. Once the older guitarist had pulled back, he smiled at the other man and quickly pecked his lips again. "And tomorrow, the papers will be full of this," he whispered but one could hear in his voice that he didn't mind.
"I hope they at least got a good picture." Die chuckled, his eyes sparkling. He didn't know whether to be nervous or stunned or what, since he hadn't expected this kind of behaviour from his lover. But it made him happy nevertheless.
"Yeah." Kaoru chuckled and slowly put his feet back on the ground. He was still facing his lover, looking at him with sparkling eyes. For some reason, Kaoru wasn't afraid anymore of anything the press could say, wasn't afraid anymore that their relationship could ruin the band. It all just seemed to be natural, hadn't been planned through till the last detail; it just happened.
"Wanna get going?" The younger man asked, the smile never leaving his lips. He reached out his hand to entwine their fingers together, squeezing the other man's slightly smaller hand a bit.
"Yes." Nodding, the older guitarist stood up, waiting for Die to follow him. "But let's not go shopping anymore. I don't feel like it. Let's take a walk in the park and then go somewhere nice to eat, okay?"
"That sounds perfect." Die nodded enthusiastically, and together they headed towards the nearby park, strolling slowly along the street hand in hand. A few people were turning their heads, eying the two curiously. Whether it was because they were two male holding hands or two rather famous guitarists, Kaoru couldn't tell and he didn't care. When they spotted a nice restaurant with a beer garden, they decided to have dinner outside since the sun was still warm and the air nice.
Throughout the dinner they were simply smiling at each other, feeling much like they were on their first date or something. The only difference was that they didn't need to be nervous, as they knew each other thoroughly and were completely relaxed together. Still, moments like these stirred this certain bubbly feeling inside the stomach, released the flock of butterflies which had been locked up there for years. And it were moments like these which fastened their conviction that they had taken a couple of right decisions in their life.
They were simply happy to be still together even after the troubles life had thrown at them, and it made this all even more precious. They knew not to take each other for granted, and how to enjoy small happy moments like this. They took their time with dinner and it was already dark outside when they finally decided to go back to their apartment. No matter how many luxurious hotels they had occupied through the years, there was no place like home and it was always nice to be able to retreat to your own four walls.
For the rest of the evening they simply staid together on the couch, snuggling close to each other and absent mindedly watching TV at the same time. They were stuffed with food, their feet hurting from the walking and they simply enjoyed not to have to hurry anywhere.
As it turned out, Mika adored the buggy and the rocker the guitarists had bought and instantly called them once they had arrived. She was squealing into the headpiece and one could hear that she was jumping up and down in her living-room. She was talking to Die and made him promise to tell her father how much she appreciated the gift, again saying what cool old guys they were.
Almost instantly Die went to inform his lover that the items had been a huge success. Although he knew that it would mean that Kaoru would surely tell him that HE never thought those were that expensive and would of course be worth the prize. Truth to be told Die was happy that the girl had liked them too, and didn't even think about the expenses anymore.
Mika kept them informed about her current condition by calling them occasionally, visiting them at least once a week when the guitarists were at home. It didn't take long until Die and Kaoru had gathered all the necessary items to furnish the baby-room and, despite the expenses, they both were proud at their work. There was probably no baby in this hemisphere which had such a cool room. They were even a bit envious since they would've loved to have that kind of room for themselves too as they had been kids, and all they had got back then had been normal, boring furniture.
As the predicted date of the birth was coming closer, they were growing somewhat restless though, calling Mika instantly if they hadn't heard from her in what they thought was too long, practically a bit more than a day. No matter how often the girl had promised either of her four parents that they would be informed straight away, she was bugged by one of them. When she had just called Nozomi, Die would be calling her the next minute just to see how she felt. It went like that until she left a message on her answering machine. "If you're one of my parents: No, I'm not giving birth, so hang up! If you're somebody else, you can leave a message after the beep."
It wasn't as if the guitarists didn't see how they were overreacting, but they simply couldn't help it. They were worried that something would go wrong with the pregnancy, despite the fact that Mika seemed to be an exceptionally healthy case with no much troubles. She had no morning sickness, no water in the legs and not even an extraordinary appetite. Even the doctor had told her that this was a rare case. There were still a couple of months ahead though, but everybody knew that the last part was the hardest.
With everybody pushing her, Mika had ended the school year before time since all the tests had already been written and she wouldn't miss anything. Sho meanwhile had to go there still, but he proved to be a responsible person, looking after his girlfriend as best as he could. At first it was hard on Mika to be stuck home though. She was an active person and wanted to have something to do all the time, but now she wasn't allowed to do many things she'd normally do. The doctor had told her not to lift anything heavy just in case and avoid everything which had something to do with physical work, and it limited the options somewhat.
To distract herself, she invited her friends as often as possible, visited her mother and step-father of the guitarists. Nozomi carefully tried to explain her that the boredom would remain once the child was born since she still couldn't do many things then and would have to live with cleaning diapers, the most exciting thing being a walk in the park with the baby in the buggy. Slowly Mika seemed to be even calming down and settling to her fate, amusing herself reading or watching TV, even trying to learn to knit. It didn't matter so much what she did, as long as she had something to do.
Kaoru was proud at how she managed to deal with it and he was even more proud when he saw how clean her apartment was. When she had been living with him and his lover, she had been a total mess, just like any other teenager. "At least one proof that she's my daughter," the older guitarist remarked more than once. The comment made Die simply roll his eyes but he didn't say anything, simply smiled casually at the other man as soon as he glanced at him.
They had quickly learned all the good sides living alone provided, and were actually enjoying the privacy to no end. Sometimes it felt still weird not to have the girl around, but they had grown accustomed to the new situation. Sometimes, there were moments when Kaoru simply forgot that his daughter wasn't occupying the room next to the kitchen anymore and automatically blocked his lover's advances, whispering excuses like "Mika..."
Only a split-second later, they would both be roaring with laughter though and the older guitarist ensured that he wasn't senile just yet. It even happened to Die a few times, as he totally freaked out to the other man's advances and told him that they couldn't let Mika see anything like that. Still he ignored those situations afterwards, claiming that Kaoru was indeed the one who was getting old and losing his memory, not him.
The older guitarist only left him be, because it gave him a decent reason to prove that he still was fit and capable, not slacking off in the slightest. All in all, they were enjoying their new won freedom a lot. After some time, maybe two weeks till the probable birth of the child, Kaoru stood in front of Mika's former bedroom, obviously lost in deep thoughts. He didn't even notice his lover, who had been watching TV but was now staring at his back.
"Kao?" Die tried tentatively, but as the other didn't seem to even notice him he got up from his seat, advancing him. As he was standing right beside the other man, he placed his chin on his shoulder, wrapping both arms around his waist. "What are you thinking of?"
The older guitarist flinched, pulled back from his contemplations, but instantly relaxed against the other man, giving him a smile. "What to do with this room," he answered honestly. Theoretically, they didn't need the room. It had been the working room before Mika had moved in, while the small chamber which they had declared to be Die's room had only been some kind of storage for their guitars and their extra shoes and whatever they didn't want to have around in the rest of the apartment.
"You thinking of having it as a museum with all Mika's old stuff she left here?" Die chuckled, tilting his head to press a kiss on his lover's neck.
"Are you mocking me?" Kaoru asked with a frown. Indeed he had thought about keeping that room as it was, just in case his daughter would want to return home one day. At least that was what he had told himself.
"No, not really." The younger man shook his head a bit. "I don't mind if you wanna keep it that way. But if it's because you want her to come live back here, I'd tell you to forget about it."
"Let's just keep it until the baby's born and she has settled down really," the older guitarist asked, practically pleading with his eyes. He sensed that this wasn't necessary, but still wanted to leave that option open for her, and for himself.
"Alright." Die hugged him a bit closer for a moment, smiling softly. "Let's keep it for a while still. And then, we can maybe only change it a bit, make it a guestroom. Then she can still stay in it when she comes for a visit."
"Or we make it our private den of vice," Kaoru suggested laughing, placed his hands over his lover's and tilted his head far enough to give him a kiss.
"I'm all up for that too." The redhead had to laugh, and as soon as he got the words out he initiated another kiss.
Although it would still need some time for Kaoru to finally let go of his daughter completely, he was quite positive that he would manage, the warm presence beside him reminding him that he wasn't alone with that. Sometimes, Kaoru felt bad for making such a fuzz about Mika's departure and her becoming a mother for he knew that it was as hard for Die as for him. Still, the younger man never complained about it, never pointed out that he was feeling the same and didn't cause a huge scene.
Die had figured out that one of them should remain the calmer one, and somehow trying to be there for the older man and calming him down kept his own mind off freaking out totally. He couldn't deny though that he missed the girl, even the countless fights they had had and the problems she had caused. But Mika seemed to be doing fine, her relationship with Sho working well. Kaoru had to admit that he had come to like the boy who was far more responsible despite appearances. He had even offered help for Sho's band which was suffering a hard time since the boy had to go to school and used all his free time for his pregnant girlfriend. It proved Kaoru that he knew how to choose his priorities and he was convinced that this should be rewarded somehow.
And Sho seemed to even be a talented musician, together with his band, so helping them out was only a logical step. Mika dragged Sho with her to visit the guitarists sometimes just for the fun of it, and as they learned to know Sho better they had to admit they liked his sense of humour and that he sometimes appeared a lot older than he actually was. But as Mika's giving birth became closer they had to cut the visits, as Mika rather staid home and didn't move a lot with her huge belly.
The guitarists had taken a lot of pictures of that time, just as a remembrance for them, deciding to sort them once they would have the time. They had already been sleeping when the phone had rung, Sho telling them that he was at the hospital, waiting for his child to arrive. Die and Kaoru had been there first, looking a bit dishevelled and out of place as they were walking through the long corridor to the door behind which Mika was now trying to give birth to her baby.
It didn't take long before Nozomi and her husband appeared there as well, both looking the same as the guitarists, as apparently they had gotten there straight from the bed as well. The doctor had only been there shortly to inform them that as it was the first labour for Mika it was likely that it would take long, and that they should just take a seat and maybe some coffee from the hospital cafeteria.
As Kaoru was heading to the coffee machine straight, he was held back by his lover who told him that caffeine wasn't exactly what he needed right now. The older guitarist looked dead nervous, the muscles underneath his cheeks clenching and relaxing randomly. Sho had been there shortly as well, explaining that Mika was fine so far, but also confirming the doctor's information that it would probably still take some time.
Die was only slightly pale, and thought that they could as well sit down to wait. He pulled his lover on a seat next to his, but gave up on it as Kaoru was squirming all along. "Wanna go out and have a cig?" He asked finally as Kaoru seemed to be unable to be still there. Besides, his own nervousness was rising rapidly, and he would've needed one badly himself.
"We can go to the smoker room over there," the older guitarist suggested, not wanting to get further from his daughter than necessary. Still, he was dying for a cig as well and so grabbed his lover's hand, his own being ice-cold and sweaty. They vanished into the smoking room as soon as they had told Nozomi to get them if something changed. Instantly as they were inside they both lit a cigarette, simply smoking in silence for the first moments and trying to calm down.
Kaoru was constantly stretching his neck to see if the others were still sitting on the uncomfortable plastic chairs in front of the labour room. He didn't even notice that he was smoking the filter already, too nervous to focus on anything. "I hope everything's going fine. She seems to be in there for ages," he uttered, not looking at his lover.
Gently the younger man took the remains of the cigarette from his lover, giving him a new one. He had gone straight to the second one himself too, hoping it would calm him down. "It took long when she was born too, remember?" In a nervous gesture he rubbed his eyes, inhaling deep.
"Of course I remember." Kaoru nodded, but then had to admit to himself that he had forgotten about it and only now the remembrance came back to his mind. Suddenly, he was smiling and looked at his lover. "And you were there with me throughout the whole time." Nozomi had had a tough labour and they had sent him out at one point, not wanting the young husband to disturb them.
"And you were shaking." Die chuckled, but after eyeing his own arm for a while had to add dryly. "Only a bit more badly than I do now though..."
The comment startled the older man and he eyed his lover attentively. Gently, he put his own cold hand on said arm, squeezing encouragingly. He would've never thought that his lover could be more nervous than he himself. In a reaction to that, Kaoru calmed down instantly as if his subconsciousness knew it would help the other man. The redhead smiled at the gesture, obviously thankful. He was still clearly nervous as he spoke up though, his voice shaking although he tried to cover it. "I'm sorry. I just... I need a bit water that's all."
"What you need," Kaoru said smiling, "is to sit down." After they both had finished their cigarettes, he again took his lover's hand and guided him to the chairs where the others were still waiting. Then, Kaoru went to fetch a soda for everybody. He sat down next to the younger man, his palm resting on the other's thigh which was shaking nervously. "Stop that," Kaoru admonished with a small smile.
"I can't help it." Die defended himself, but had to chuckle a bit at almost the same moment. He felt a bit pathetic for being this nervous, but he couldn't help but to worry for Mika. "Gosh, and I'm just the stepdad here. I should be cool with it all."
The most calm of them all was probably Hiroki, Nozomi's second husband. He had been there twice already and thus took it with ease. His wife was the complete opposite though, constantly saying that her baby was in pain behind that door and she wasn't there to help her. After some time, things calmed down, if only outwardly. They all had grown tired and as the doctor had announced it would still take time, they had gotten themselves as comfortable as possible on the chairs. Die's legs were resting on his lover's lap and he leaned against the other man.
The long wait finally did its work, as they were growing simply too tired to panic anymore. Nozomi was dozing off on her seat and Hiroki who sat beside her was reading a magazine he had happened to find. Die on his side was already fast asleep, leaning on the older guitarist more or less in an awkward position. Kaoru was dead tired as well, tears running down his cheeks every time he had to yawn. Still, he was too agitated inwardly to fall asleep and just focused on holding his lover's legs to keep him from slipping off his seat. It seemed to have been an eternity, but finally the door slammed open and Sho appeared, looking exhausted, but happy. "It's a boy!" he announced and with that startled everybody off their sleep.
Instantly they were all on their feet, drowning the young father into questions and trying to bug him for every single possible bit of information. He was probably the calmest one of them all right now, and explained that the child was well, and the mother was feeling fine, promising them they would get to see both of them in a few moments.
Everybody was hugging and congratulating the new-born father and Kaoru nudged his lover, reminding him of the cigars he had brought. It was a tradition that the father would have to smoke one together with his most beloveds. Nozomi passed, but the four men went to the smoking room, joking and listening to Sho's explanations now that the stress had fallen off them.
They were still shaking a bit, their laughter nervous for a while, but soon they all were almost back to their normal selves. They just couldn't stop smiling though, and each time the conversation seemed to drift to somewhere else one of them brought it back to the newborn baby, eager to see him as soon as possible.
A young doctor joined their company after some time, a cigarette in his hand. "I think you can go in now. Miss Niikura already asked if you have left." He smiled friendly and Kaoru had to laugh. "Sounds like her." He couldn't deny how proud he was that his daughter still wore his name. For some reason, it made him utterly happy at that moment.
With Sho leading the way they all headed towards the room where Mika was now, and as soon as they stepped in they were greeted with a sight of the young bother her newborn on her arms smiling at them brightly. "Finally you're here." She was obviously still tired, but still couldn't have been happier.
Kaoru and Die were instantly stepping closer to her left side and while Nozomi was marvelling the new homunculus, Kaoru ran his hand through Mika's hair, smiling at her. "We had to smoke the cigar first," he informed, bent down and pecked her lips. "We're all so proud of you." Sighing, he made way so that his lover could attend her as well, silently wrapping one arm around his waist. Die couldn't stop smiling, and hugged her although it turned a bit awkward since she was leaning against the bedhead. "He's right, we're really proud." As he pulled back he smirked though, winking at the girl. "Although you could've been quicker too."
The comment earned him a raised middle finger by the young mother. "You should've been at my place an hour ago and then said it again." She was smiling, even chuckling, although one could see how tired she was. A nurse appeared and announced she would take the baby away from her for the night so that the mother could rest properly. "I think you need some rest too," Mika said to her boyfriend who looked as if he would fall asleep standing on his place.
Kaoru only watched the scene contemplatively in silence. Many things were running through his mind, from Mika's birth to the turbulences when he had only seen her every second weekend until she had moved in. For a second, he felt as if he had his whole life behind him, as if he would have to step back and make way for the next generation. The thought frightened him and for the first time, he felt truly old.
Somehow Die sensed that his lover was feeling misplaced, and he was going through something a bit similar himself too. Wordlessly he sneaked one arm around the older man's waist, hugging him closer and pressing a soft kiss on his cheek. "Don't worry, grandpa, you still have years ahead of you." He was smiling, but there was something weird in his own mood too, as if seeing the girl, they had been raising, become a mother would've triggered something in them.
"Call me that ever again and I'll give you a sneak preview on how it'll be once I'm old like one," Kaoru mock-threatened. He was grateful that Die was trying to drag him out of his contemplations since he knew those were just stupid. Still, he sneaked his arm around his lover's waist as well, in the need for something to hold on to.
"Don't worry. To me you'll always be this gorgeous, stunning man. Regardless of how old you are." Die chuckled a bit, tilting his head to steal a short kiss from the other. Nozomi and Mika were talking in a low voice, and it seemed that the girl was getting more tired every moment and would really need the rest tonight.
That was the reason why the grown-ups soon said their goodbyes, leaving the young parents a few moments of togetherness. Kaoru had volunteered to drive home since his lover was dead-beat, the whole excitement too much on him. It was already dawning by the time they reached their apartment, both men happy but exhausted.
Author:
seinen_no and fonulynRating: NC17 overall
Pairing: Die and Kaoru
Disclaimer: We own no one, only our dirty imaginations.
Summary: When Kaoru and his wife get a divorce, he is forced to leave his little daughter to live with her mother when he’s moving out. He finds support in his best friend, but is friendship everything life has in store for them? Or is their past together going to resurface now that Kaoru’s life has been turned upside down?
Comments:
seinen_no: Hi! Again we took so long and I must say that it's probably my fault. I've fought some kind of sickness the past week and had shit days at work, because my other colleagues lost the battle and were at home while the rest of us had to struggle with the work. So forgive me that I hardly answered any comments and such lately^^ And now enough of the whining. Enjoy the second last chapter :Dfonulyn: I think this is a nice chapter, with them showing how close to each other they are, and how they've reached this steady state in their relationship in a way. Or then I just love it so much since I love the thought of the two of them sharing their lives together XD Anyways, enjoy and please let us know what you think about it ;) Oh, and let me direct your attention to the fact that
rabenhorst has a new, shiny and sparkling layout! Thank you so much, sanghamyers for your precious help in coding and setting up the layout^^ *hugs tight* You're the saving angel!And feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive.
Previously happened: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9 , Part 10, Part 11, Part 12
Chapter 13
The next day already they decided they should tell Nozomi about Mika's pregnancy, seeing that they had pushed it off too long already. Kaoru went to meet her alone, because they figured that it probably wouldn't calm her down if Die went there too, since she still held some hard feelings towards him.
As predicted, she had a total raging attack as she heard the news, going on a rampage and claiming the guitarists had ruined her daughter and her life. Somehow Kaoru managed to calm her down at least somewhat, and a few days later they had a family gathering with Mika and all her four parents, discussing about how to handle the situation.
First of all, they were asking the girl how she imagined things would go with her being a mother, what would happen with school, who paid for her expenses and all. Of course, Mika didn't have an answer for everything, but she made clear that she was determined to finish school and to even study. Nozomi pointed out that this was a tough goal and only achievable if Mika put all her heart into it and if she forwent a lot of things normal girls at her age would do.
Kaoru on his side had been talking about this whole matter to his lover before and both had come to the conclusion that, if their daughter and Sho wanted to form a family, they should live together and take responsibility for themselves. So they had decided to offer to pay an apartment for the young couple and parts of their expenses while Nozomi and her husband would pay the rest. Since Sho's family wasn't wealthy enough to pay a lot for their boy, they couldn't count on them. Still, Sho's mother had made clear she would help whenever it was needed.
Both the teenagers were willing to work for it though, and it made the adults a lot calmer to see that Sho was going to stand by Mika throughout this all, and take his responsibility. But it was settled that both of them would at least try to finish school, and that they would be supported financially until then. Mika would have to get time off from school in the end of the pregnancy though, and for the first months to take care of the baby, but it would only delay studying if everything went according to plans. Getting a home for the young family needed a lot of work though, and after they had found a decent enough apartment, small but neat, they still had to get furniture and other needed everyday things.
It would be a huge change for Mika to move into a small apartment while she had been living in the guitarist's huge one for so many years now. Still, she was looking forward to it and went there with Sho every free minute to paint the walls and get everything ready for the furniture. Kaoru on his side had a small crisis for a couple of days when he finally had realized that his little girl would certainly leave him for good in a couple of weeks. But with Die's tender care and his constant admonishing that the older guitarist should get a grip of himself, he overcame the slight melancholy.
Besides, Die convinced him that being undisturbed in their apartment would have a lot of advantages as well and he made sure to prove that any given opportunity. The guitarists had given the young couple a certain amount of money with which they could buy the needed furniture and other things a decent household would need. Only Mika had asked them to go and see if they found found stuff for the baby's room since she didn't have enough time and was hoping that they would pay for those extra, once they saw all the cute things one could buy for babies.
Nozomi, her mother, had already declined laughing, but had offered she could have some old clothes and such from Mika's younger half-siblings. The guitarists promised to do that for her though, and although they didn't have much of an idea what a small baby's room should look like they set out to the mission determinedly. As long as they'd have some cute furniture and make the room fit for a child, it would be enough, at least they figured it that way. Kaoru tried to remember how Mika's own room had looked like when she had been a small child, and in addition to that they simply used their imagination and even thought that it wouldn't hurt them if they asked for advice in the shops.
When they told their bandmates about that, Toshiya instantly volunteered to go and buy some rompers as well and Kyo promised he would accompany the bassist to stop him from buying the whole stock. Since the guitarists had told them about Mika's pregnancy, they all had been thinking of how to help since they all loved the girl to no end. They had collected some money which the young couple would get at the baby's birth, savings they might need later. Kaoru and Die used a free week to search the babystores and both of them were agreeing on the point that Mika's child should get furniture which was stylish and certainly different from usual baby rooms.
They ended up being really picky about the furniture, and caused stress for everyone who tried to help them at the stores, presenting popular solutions. Somehow they almost always found something wrong with those though, as they didn't meet the image of the room they had wanted. It was beginning to be somewhat of an obsession even, as they were determined to perfect the room.
"C'mon hun, hurry!" Kaoru had grabbed his lover's hand and was dragging him against the current of the workers during rush hour. He was laughing, apologizing here and there when he bumped into somebody, but never stopped his tracks nor let go of the other man's hand. "A friend told me about this store where they sell baby stuff with special prints and such..." The older guitarist had been obsessed lately with buying a rocker with little skulls on it. He had seen one of those once and now didn't let go of the idea.
"Calm down Kao, the store is not going to disappear anywhere!" Die had to laugh at the determination in his lover, but obediently stumbled after him and tried to keep up with the pace. He had been surprised when Kaoru had grabbed his hand in public the first time, simply to walk beside him and not to necessarily use the grip to stop him or pull him into a store. He had been just so accustomed to covering everything, and he wouldn't have believed ever, that Kaoru could be the one to slip in that.
This time, the older guitarist was so excited that he didn't even let go of his lover once they stood inside said shop. It was a bit away from the others in a side-alley and was about to close within the next half hour which had been the reason for the hurry. Slightly out of breath, Die was dragged along the shelves until Kaoru spotted the object of his desire. "See, they got it and look, they even got a buggy like that too."
Kaoru was beaming happily and folded their fingers, squeezing the other man's hand as if to make him agree to everything. Since Mika and Sho had already furnished their bedroom and parts of the living-room, the girl had already moved out and without either of the guitarists noticing it, it was as if somebody had turned a switch and they were suddenly the enamoured couple again instead of being parents. Maybe that was the reason for the older guitarist's behaviour. He simply felt so much at ease with everything that he frankly didn't care about what people thought of them, although this all was happening subconscious.
"And I bet you're determined to buy both of those." Die had to laugh at his lover's obvious enthusiasm. Stepping closer he stretched his neck, trying to see the prize attached to the items. "And what do they cost..?" He was pretty sure his lover would buy them whatever the prize was, and he couldn't do anything to stop him. Not that he even wanted especially.
"Well, let's see." Kaoru found the small sign and when he had read the number, instantly turned it so that the other man couldn't see it. "It's not even as expensive as I would've thought," he answered smiling and released the redhead's hand to check the quality of the cloth and to give the rocker a push to see how it worked.
"Show me the prize." Die demanded, guessing from the reaction that it had to be expensive. "We're still not millionaires! So let me see at least."
Sighing defeated, Kaoru turned the sign around and allowed his lover to see it. He had been hoping the other man wouldn't become suspicious, but after all, Die simply knew him too well. "There and now yell..."
"Are you nuts!" The first reaction was almost a shriek when the redhead saw the amount. "I wouldn't pay that much for any piece of furniture!" He took a look at the other man's pleading face and it instantly made him sigh. He simply couldn't resist that look, not even though he had had years of practice. "Alright. Let's take it."
"Really?" The older guitarist sounded disbelieving, but before his lover could decide otherwise, he received a short peck on the lips and a stunning smile. Before Die knew what happened, Kaoru had also taken the buggy and was waving for the shop-assistant so that the other man couldn't force him to back off anymore.
The small kiss alone had left Die completely stunned and he stared at the older man for a long moment, only snapping back to reality when he felt him tug his hand to move forward. Had Kaoru really just kissed him? In front of all these other customers?
Apparently he had and this time fully on purpose. Kaoru knew that he had always been the more careful one when it came to exchanging small gestures like that in public and had been certain this would leave the other man shocked for a few seconds. He hadn't only done it to make Die agree on buying those items though, but to show him that something had changed. After all, his daughter was having a baby, had moved out, would maybe marry and he simply didn't want anything to cloud his mood, didn't want to hide anymore.
As soon as the younger man survived from his shock he couldn't help but to smile brightly. Somehow his mood brightened considerably due to the small gesture. He was smiling even when they headed out of the shop, not minding in the slightest that they had just spent a hell lot of money. Since they still wanted to go to some other shops, not baby-shops but to buy something for themselves as well, as a small reward so to say, they had asked that the rocker and the buggy would be delivered to Mika's place straight. Strolling down the alley, Kaoru hooked his arm with his lover's, peeking at him from the corner of his eyes with a wide smile on his face.
Slightly disbelieving the redhead took a look at the other man, but as he saw him simply smiling at him he had to mirror the smile. And he couldn't deny that it felt really good to just walk casually arm in arm, enjoying the nice day together and not minding what people might think once they saw them.
"You're cute," Kaoru mentioned by the way and then looked straight ahead again as if he had never said anything. He was full of high spirits, his steps more bouncy and less determined than usual. They were turning the corner, heading for the huge shopping arcade and still he didn't even think about letting go of his lover.
"Cute? How so?" Die had to laugh at the comment, shaking his head a bit. He was simply in a too good mood, even getting happier with each passing moment.
"Just so," came the merry answer. They were just passing by a small kiosk and the older man stopped to buy two cokes and a chocolate bar for both of them. He wasn't even hungry, more thirsty, but still couldn't resist his favourite sweet.
"Just so?" The younger man chuckled, before making a small agreeing sound. "But yeah, I am."
"And still so modest," Kaoru joked, handing his lover the coke and the chocolate bar. Their feet were hurting and thus they sat down beside a water fountain. Kaoru closed his eyes for a moment, his head tilted backwards, and enjoyed the warm evening sun.
"Well, there's no use in denying the truth." Die laughed and eyed the other man's profile carefully, the mere sight making him smile and his heart beat a bit faster. It was almost like they were teenagers in love again.
When the older guitarist opened his eyes and looked at the other man, blinking a couple of times against the sun, he had to laugh. Die had a bit of chocolate smeared at the corner of his mouth and Kaoru wiped it away with his index-finger. "And you're sweet too," he remarked, licking the rest of the sweet from his digit.
"Not me, it's the chocolate." The younger man grinned merrily, pulling his legs close to his chest and simply closed his eyes to enjoy the moment. It was a warm day, one of those kinds when it was so nice to be outside.
Kaoru followed his example, basing his feet on the edge with their shoulders touching. "I still say it's you," he argued playfully after a few seconds of silence had passed. He had closed his eyes as well, but was peeking at the man beside him every now and then, examining those relaxed features which he loved for so many years now and still it felt like he was seeing him for the first time in his life.
"Hm?" Die turned his head a bit to face the other, but didn't open his eyes though. "What is me?" He had completely emptied his mind, just relaxing in the moment.
"The one who's sweet. Not the chocolate." The slightly puzzled expression on the redhead's face made Kaoru smile and since the other's lips were only inches away from his, he couldn't resist closing the distance and just kissing him.
The younger guitarist's eyes snapped open when he felt his lover's lips on his, as it took him by surprise. Never in a million years had he expected that. But this had been a day for surprises anyways. He smiled slightly though, responding to the kiss almost instantly. It didn't last long, but was gentle and slow. Once the older guitarist had pulled back, he smiled at the other man and quickly pecked his lips again. "And tomorrow, the papers will be full of this," he whispered but one could hear in his voice that he didn't mind.
"I hope they at least got a good picture." Die chuckled, his eyes sparkling. He didn't know whether to be nervous or stunned or what, since he hadn't expected this kind of behaviour from his lover. But it made him happy nevertheless.
"Yeah." Kaoru chuckled and slowly put his feet back on the ground. He was still facing his lover, looking at him with sparkling eyes. For some reason, Kaoru wasn't afraid anymore of anything the press could say, wasn't afraid anymore that their relationship could ruin the band. It all just seemed to be natural, hadn't been planned through till the last detail; it just happened.
"Wanna get going?" The younger man asked, the smile never leaving his lips. He reached out his hand to entwine their fingers together, squeezing the other man's slightly smaller hand a bit.
"Yes." Nodding, the older guitarist stood up, waiting for Die to follow him. "But let's not go shopping anymore. I don't feel like it. Let's take a walk in the park and then go somewhere nice to eat, okay?"
"That sounds perfect." Die nodded enthusiastically, and together they headed towards the nearby park, strolling slowly along the street hand in hand. A few people were turning their heads, eying the two curiously. Whether it was because they were two male holding hands or two rather famous guitarists, Kaoru couldn't tell and he didn't care. When they spotted a nice restaurant with a beer garden, they decided to have dinner outside since the sun was still warm and the air nice.
Throughout the dinner they were simply smiling at each other, feeling much like they were on their first date or something. The only difference was that they didn't need to be nervous, as they knew each other thoroughly and were completely relaxed together. Still, moments like these stirred this certain bubbly feeling inside the stomach, released the flock of butterflies which had been locked up there for years. And it were moments like these which fastened their conviction that they had taken a couple of right decisions in their life.
They were simply happy to be still together even after the troubles life had thrown at them, and it made this all even more precious. They knew not to take each other for granted, and how to enjoy small happy moments like this. They took their time with dinner and it was already dark outside when they finally decided to go back to their apartment. No matter how many luxurious hotels they had occupied through the years, there was no place like home and it was always nice to be able to retreat to your own four walls.
For the rest of the evening they simply staid together on the couch, snuggling close to each other and absent mindedly watching TV at the same time. They were stuffed with food, their feet hurting from the walking and they simply enjoyed not to have to hurry anywhere.
As it turned out, Mika adored the buggy and the rocker the guitarists had bought and instantly called them once they had arrived. She was squealing into the headpiece and one could hear that she was jumping up and down in her living-room. She was talking to Die and made him promise to tell her father how much she appreciated the gift, again saying what cool old guys they were.
Almost instantly Die went to inform his lover that the items had been a huge success. Although he knew that it would mean that Kaoru would surely tell him that HE never thought those were that expensive and would of course be worth the prize. Truth to be told Die was happy that the girl had liked them too, and didn't even think about the expenses anymore.
Mika kept them informed about her current condition by calling them occasionally, visiting them at least once a week when the guitarists were at home. It didn't take long until Die and Kaoru had gathered all the necessary items to furnish the baby-room and, despite the expenses, they both were proud at their work. There was probably no baby in this hemisphere which had such a cool room. They were even a bit envious since they would've loved to have that kind of room for themselves too as they had been kids, and all they had got back then had been normal, boring furniture.
As the predicted date of the birth was coming closer, they were growing somewhat restless though, calling Mika instantly if they hadn't heard from her in what they thought was too long, practically a bit more than a day. No matter how often the girl had promised either of her four parents that they would be informed straight away, she was bugged by one of them. When she had just called Nozomi, Die would be calling her the next minute just to see how she felt. It went like that until she left a message on her answering machine. "If you're one of my parents: No, I'm not giving birth, so hang up! If you're somebody else, you can leave a message after the beep."
It wasn't as if the guitarists didn't see how they were overreacting, but they simply couldn't help it. They were worried that something would go wrong with the pregnancy, despite the fact that Mika seemed to be an exceptionally healthy case with no much troubles. She had no morning sickness, no water in the legs and not even an extraordinary appetite. Even the doctor had told her that this was a rare case. There were still a couple of months ahead though, but everybody knew that the last part was the hardest.
With everybody pushing her, Mika had ended the school year before time since all the tests had already been written and she wouldn't miss anything. Sho meanwhile had to go there still, but he proved to be a responsible person, looking after his girlfriend as best as he could. At first it was hard on Mika to be stuck home though. She was an active person and wanted to have something to do all the time, but now she wasn't allowed to do many things she'd normally do. The doctor had told her not to lift anything heavy just in case and avoid everything which had something to do with physical work, and it limited the options somewhat.
To distract herself, she invited her friends as often as possible, visited her mother and step-father of the guitarists. Nozomi carefully tried to explain her that the boredom would remain once the child was born since she still couldn't do many things then and would have to live with cleaning diapers, the most exciting thing being a walk in the park with the baby in the buggy. Slowly Mika seemed to be even calming down and settling to her fate, amusing herself reading or watching TV, even trying to learn to knit. It didn't matter so much what she did, as long as she had something to do.
Kaoru was proud at how she managed to deal with it and he was even more proud when he saw how clean her apartment was. When she had been living with him and his lover, she had been a total mess, just like any other teenager. "At least one proof that she's my daughter," the older guitarist remarked more than once. The comment made Die simply roll his eyes but he didn't say anything, simply smiled casually at the other man as soon as he glanced at him.
They had quickly learned all the good sides living alone provided, and were actually enjoying the privacy to no end. Sometimes it felt still weird not to have the girl around, but they had grown accustomed to the new situation. Sometimes, there were moments when Kaoru simply forgot that his daughter wasn't occupying the room next to the kitchen anymore and automatically blocked his lover's advances, whispering excuses like "Mika..."
Only a split-second later, they would both be roaring with laughter though and the older guitarist ensured that he wasn't senile just yet. It even happened to Die a few times, as he totally freaked out to the other man's advances and told him that they couldn't let Mika see anything like that. Still he ignored those situations afterwards, claiming that Kaoru was indeed the one who was getting old and losing his memory, not him.
The older guitarist only left him be, because it gave him a decent reason to prove that he still was fit and capable, not slacking off in the slightest. All in all, they were enjoying their new won freedom a lot. After some time, maybe two weeks till the probable birth of the child, Kaoru stood in front of Mika's former bedroom, obviously lost in deep thoughts. He didn't even notice his lover, who had been watching TV but was now staring at his back.
"Kao?" Die tried tentatively, but as the other didn't seem to even notice him he got up from his seat, advancing him. As he was standing right beside the other man, he placed his chin on his shoulder, wrapping both arms around his waist. "What are you thinking of?"
The older guitarist flinched, pulled back from his contemplations, but instantly relaxed against the other man, giving him a smile. "What to do with this room," he answered honestly. Theoretically, they didn't need the room. It had been the working room before Mika had moved in, while the small chamber which they had declared to be Die's room had only been some kind of storage for their guitars and their extra shoes and whatever they didn't want to have around in the rest of the apartment.
"You thinking of having it as a museum with all Mika's old stuff she left here?" Die chuckled, tilting his head to press a kiss on his lover's neck.
"Are you mocking me?" Kaoru asked with a frown. Indeed he had thought about keeping that room as it was, just in case his daughter would want to return home one day. At least that was what he had told himself.
"No, not really." The younger man shook his head a bit. "I don't mind if you wanna keep it that way. But if it's because you want her to come live back here, I'd tell you to forget about it."
"Let's just keep it until the baby's born and she has settled down really," the older guitarist asked, practically pleading with his eyes. He sensed that this wasn't necessary, but still wanted to leave that option open for her, and for himself.
"Alright." Die hugged him a bit closer for a moment, smiling softly. "Let's keep it for a while still. And then, we can maybe only change it a bit, make it a guestroom. Then she can still stay in it when she comes for a visit."
"Or we make it our private den of vice," Kaoru suggested laughing, placed his hands over his lover's and tilted his head far enough to give him a kiss.
"I'm all up for that too." The redhead had to laugh, and as soon as he got the words out he initiated another kiss.
Although it would still need some time for Kaoru to finally let go of his daughter completely, he was quite positive that he would manage, the warm presence beside him reminding him that he wasn't alone with that. Sometimes, Kaoru felt bad for making such a fuzz about Mika's departure and her becoming a mother for he knew that it was as hard for Die as for him. Still, the younger man never complained about it, never pointed out that he was feeling the same and didn't cause a huge scene.
Die had figured out that one of them should remain the calmer one, and somehow trying to be there for the older man and calming him down kept his own mind off freaking out totally. He couldn't deny though that he missed the girl, even the countless fights they had had and the problems she had caused. But Mika seemed to be doing fine, her relationship with Sho working well. Kaoru had to admit that he had come to like the boy who was far more responsible despite appearances. He had even offered help for Sho's band which was suffering a hard time since the boy had to go to school and used all his free time for his pregnant girlfriend. It proved Kaoru that he knew how to choose his priorities and he was convinced that this should be rewarded somehow.
And Sho seemed to even be a talented musician, together with his band, so helping them out was only a logical step. Mika dragged Sho with her to visit the guitarists sometimes just for the fun of it, and as they learned to know Sho better they had to admit they liked his sense of humour and that he sometimes appeared a lot older than he actually was. But as Mika's giving birth became closer they had to cut the visits, as Mika rather staid home and didn't move a lot with her huge belly.
The guitarists had taken a lot of pictures of that time, just as a remembrance for them, deciding to sort them once they would have the time. They had already been sleeping when the phone had rung, Sho telling them that he was at the hospital, waiting for his child to arrive. Die and Kaoru had been there first, looking a bit dishevelled and out of place as they were walking through the long corridor to the door behind which Mika was now trying to give birth to her baby.
It didn't take long before Nozomi and her husband appeared there as well, both looking the same as the guitarists, as apparently they had gotten there straight from the bed as well. The doctor had only been there shortly to inform them that as it was the first labour for Mika it was likely that it would take long, and that they should just take a seat and maybe some coffee from the hospital cafeteria.
As Kaoru was heading to the coffee machine straight, he was held back by his lover who told him that caffeine wasn't exactly what he needed right now. The older guitarist looked dead nervous, the muscles underneath his cheeks clenching and relaxing randomly. Sho had been there shortly as well, explaining that Mika was fine so far, but also confirming the doctor's information that it would probably still take some time.
Die was only slightly pale, and thought that they could as well sit down to wait. He pulled his lover on a seat next to his, but gave up on it as Kaoru was squirming all along. "Wanna go out and have a cig?" He asked finally as Kaoru seemed to be unable to be still there. Besides, his own nervousness was rising rapidly, and he would've needed one badly himself.
"We can go to the smoker room over there," the older guitarist suggested, not wanting to get further from his daughter than necessary. Still, he was dying for a cig as well and so grabbed his lover's hand, his own being ice-cold and sweaty. They vanished into the smoking room as soon as they had told Nozomi to get them if something changed. Instantly as they were inside they both lit a cigarette, simply smoking in silence for the first moments and trying to calm down.
Kaoru was constantly stretching his neck to see if the others were still sitting on the uncomfortable plastic chairs in front of the labour room. He didn't even notice that he was smoking the filter already, too nervous to focus on anything. "I hope everything's going fine. She seems to be in there for ages," he uttered, not looking at his lover.
Gently the younger man took the remains of the cigarette from his lover, giving him a new one. He had gone straight to the second one himself too, hoping it would calm him down. "It took long when she was born too, remember?" In a nervous gesture he rubbed his eyes, inhaling deep.
"Of course I remember." Kaoru nodded, but then had to admit to himself that he had forgotten about it and only now the remembrance came back to his mind. Suddenly, he was smiling and looked at his lover. "And you were there with me throughout the whole time." Nozomi had had a tough labour and they had sent him out at one point, not wanting the young husband to disturb them.
"And you were shaking." Die chuckled, but after eyeing his own arm for a while had to add dryly. "Only a bit more badly than I do now though..."
The comment startled the older man and he eyed his lover attentively. Gently, he put his own cold hand on said arm, squeezing encouragingly. He would've never thought that his lover could be more nervous than he himself. In a reaction to that, Kaoru calmed down instantly as if his subconsciousness knew it would help the other man. The redhead smiled at the gesture, obviously thankful. He was still clearly nervous as he spoke up though, his voice shaking although he tried to cover it. "I'm sorry. I just... I need a bit water that's all."
"What you need," Kaoru said smiling, "is to sit down." After they both had finished their cigarettes, he again took his lover's hand and guided him to the chairs where the others were still waiting. Then, Kaoru went to fetch a soda for everybody. He sat down next to the younger man, his palm resting on the other's thigh which was shaking nervously. "Stop that," Kaoru admonished with a small smile.
"I can't help it." Die defended himself, but had to chuckle a bit at almost the same moment. He felt a bit pathetic for being this nervous, but he couldn't help but to worry for Mika. "Gosh, and I'm just the stepdad here. I should be cool with it all."
The most calm of them all was probably Hiroki, Nozomi's second husband. He had been there twice already and thus took it with ease. His wife was the complete opposite though, constantly saying that her baby was in pain behind that door and she wasn't there to help her. After some time, things calmed down, if only outwardly. They all had grown tired and as the doctor had announced it would still take time, they had gotten themselves as comfortable as possible on the chairs. Die's legs were resting on his lover's lap and he leaned against the other man.
The long wait finally did its work, as they were growing simply too tired to panic anymore. Nozomi was dozing off on her seat and Hiroki who sat beside her was reading a magazine he had happened to find. Die on his side was already fast asleep, leaning on the older guitarist more or less in an awkward position. Kaoru was dead tired as well, tears running down his cheeks every time he had to yawn. Still, he was too agitated inwardly to fall asleep and just focused on holding his lover's legs to keep him from slipping off his seat. It seemed to have been an eternity, but finally the door slammed open and Sho appeared, looking exhausted, but happy. "It's a boy!" he announced and with that startled everybody off their sleep.
Instantly they were all on their feet, drowning the young father into questions and trying to bug him for every single possible bit of information. He was probably the calmest one of them all right now, and explained that the child was well, and the mother was feeling fine, promising them they would get to see both of them in a few moments.
Everybody was hugging and congratulating the new-born father and Kaoru nudged his lover, reminding him of the cigars he had brought. It was a tradition that the father would have to smoke one together with his most beloveds. Nozomi passed, but the four men went to the smoking room, joking and listening to Sho's explanations now that the stress had fallen off them.
They were still shaking a bit, their laughter nervous for a while, but soon they all were almost back to their normal selves. They just couldn't stop smiling though, and each time the conversation seemed to drift to somewhere else one of them brought it back to the newborn baby, eager to see him as soon as possible.
A young doctor joined their company after some time, a cigarette in his hand. "I think you can go in now. Miss Niikura already asked if you have left." He smiled friendly and Kaoru had to laugh. "Sounds like her." He couldn't deny how proud he was that his daughter still wore his name. For some reason, it made him utterly happy at that moment.
With Sho leading the way they all headed towards the room where Mika was now, and as soon as they stepped in they were greeted with a sight of the young bother her newborn on her arms smiling at them brightly. "Finally you're here." She was obviously still tired, but still couldn't have been happier.
Kaoru and Die were instantly stepping closer to her left side and while Nozomi was marvelling the new homunculus, Kaoru ran his hand through Mika's hair, smiling at her. "We had to smoke the cigar first," he informed, bent down and pecked her lips. "We're all so proud of you." Sighing, he made way so that his lover could attend her as well, silently wrapping one arm around his waist. Die couldn't stop smiling, and hugged her although it turned a bit awkward since she was leaning against the bedhead. "He's right, we're really proud." As he pulled back he smirked though, winking at the girl. "Although you could've been quicker too."
The comment earned him a raised middle finger by the young mother. "You should've been at my place an hour ago and then said it again." She was smiling, even chuckling, although one could see how tired she was. A nurse appeared and announced she would take the baby away from her for the night so that the mother could rest properly. "I think you need some rest too," Mika said to her boyfriend who looked as if he would fall asleep standing on his place.
Kaoru only watched the scene contemplatively in silence. Many things were running through his mind, from Mika's birth to the turbulences when he had only seen her every second weekend until she had moved in. For a second, he felt as if he had his whole life behind him, as if he would have to step back and make way for the next generation. The thought frightened him and for the first time, he felt truly old.
Somehow Die sensed that his lover was feeling misplaced, and he was going through something a bit similar himself too. Wordlessly he sneaked one arm around the older man's waist, hugging him closer and pressing a soft kiss on his cheek. "Don't worry, grandpa, you still have years ahead of you." He was smiling, but there was something weird in his own mood too, as if seeing the girl, they had been raising, become a mother would've triggered something in them.
"Call me that ever again and I'll give you a sneak preview on how it'll be once I'm old like one," Kaoru mock-threatened. He was grateful that Die was trying to drag him out of his contemplations since he knew those were just stupid. Still, he sneaked his arm around his lover's waist as well, in the need for something to hold on to.
"Don't worry. To me you'll always be this gorgeous, stunning man. Regardless of how old you are." Die chuckled a bit, tilting his head to steal a short kiss from the other. Nozomi and Mika were talking in a low voice, and it seemed that the girl was getting more tired every moment and would really need the rest tonight.
That was the reason why the grown-ups soon said their goodbyes, leaving the young parents a few moments of togetherness. Kaoru had volunteered to drive home since his lover was dead-beat, the whole excitement too much on him. It was already dawning by the time they reached their apartment, both men happy but exhausted.
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Thanks for reading^^
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kaoru : Kaoru's ganessa punch!!!! *hit my head*
ouch! *took the ganessa and run away* thanks~~~~!!XDD I hope they do that...