rabenhorst (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rabenhorst) wrote2007-11-18 07:18 pm
rabenhorst) wrote2007-11-18 07:18 pm
(no subject)
Title: First Love, Last Love; Chapter 12
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
seinen_no and fonulyn
Rating: NC17 overall
Pairing: Die and Kaoru
Disclaimer: We own no one, only our dirty imaginations.
Summary: When Kaoru and his wife get a divorce, he is forced to leave his little daughter to live with her mother when he’s moving out. He finds support in his best friend, but is friendship everything life has in store for them? Or is their past together going to resurface now that Kaoru’s life has been turned upside down?[yes, I am aware that sounds like an ad for a b-class soap opera XD]
Comments:
seinen_no: Hi dears! I'm terribly sorry that we took so long again. But fonulyn was away for the weekend and we totally forgot putting up the new chap before. But at least now you will get a lot of lovey-dovey stuff and at least some more smut x) Have fun!
fonulyn: Okays, this chapter is only Die and Kaoru, in bed XD Talking and… having some other activities 8D So not much plot-progressing here, but I still think they’re utterly sweet anyways x) Enjoy!
And feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive.
Previously happened: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9 , Part 10, Part 11
First Love, Last Love
Chapter 12
Mika had left together with Sho, telling them not to wait for her. She was obviously staying over at his place and the realization didn't help to make Kaoru feel good. "She'll leave us for good soon," he whispered, his face pressed against his lover's chest as they were lying in bed. It had already been late when the two youths had said goodbye and since the guitarists were emotionally exhausted, they had retreated already. It was a week of work anyways and they would have to get up early the next morning.
"You knew that day would come eventually." Die smiled, holding the other man close and absent mindedly toyed with his hair. "Besides, she's not going to leave you completely. She just won't be living with you any longer."
"C'mon, don't try to tell me that this is easy for you." Kaoru knew that his lover always tried to be the reasonable part when it came to Mika, but he also knew that Die loved her like his own flesh and blood and that he certainly would miss her a lot.
"The day she leaves I'll be crying like a baby," the redhead admitted willingly with a chuckle.
"See, so don’t try to fool me here and be honest. It fucking hurts."
"It does. But think of the positive sides, we'll have the whole house only for ourselves again."
"Yeah." Kaoru nodded and then lifted his head, smiling at his lover. "And I hope you already have a good plan how to console me."
"I have some thoughts..." Die drawled, a grin tugging his lips.
"Just hurry up with those, you might not have much time left to think," his lover reminded and quickly pecked the redhead's lips.
"I can improvise." The younger man didn't seem to be that worried about it, simply hugging the other one a bit closer to himself.
"That's good. I like it spontaneous anyways." Kaoru sighed contently and closed his eyes. "What do you think about Sho?" he asked after a few moments of silence had passed.
"I think he's a nice guy." Die answered honestly. "And definitely calmer and smarter than he looks like."
"Actually," the older man began, "he reminded me a bit of you." He grinned. "I don't mean the looks, but he appeared quite cool although he was dead nervous. And he seems to be humorous."
"See? In addition to other similarities, you and Mika also share a good taste in men." The redhead had to laugh.
"I wouldn't go THAT far when it comes to Sho." Kaoru chuckled, pinching his lover. "And nobody has such a good taste as me."
"Hey, don't you torture me!" Die squirmed under the treatment, trying to dodge the other man's hands. "And I know, you just have the best taste ever. I'm a living proof of that."
"And you're such a modest person." Quickly, the older guitarist crawled on top of his lover and gave him a short kiss. "That's probably the reason why I fell for you. Since you're so inconspicuous."
"Yeah, might be." The answer came with a smirk. "But I don't really care what the reason was as long as you fell for me and aren't going to leave me at least in the next sixty years."
"I'm not planning on going anywhere." Kaoru answered honestly. "Especially not right at this moment." Bending his head down, he initiated a deep kiss. Many things had happened that week and he somehow needed a few moments where he wouldn't have to think of anything.
More than gladly, Die responded to the kiss, bringing his hands up to tangle into his lover's hair and keeping him close to himself. Finally all the stress was beginning to flow away from him, making way for relaxation and contentment. Despite the emotional uproar, they had both been stressed by work as well, needing to get the new album done soon. Usually, it wasn't that big of a problem, but Toshiya had been sick and so they were a bit behind schedule. But nothing of this mattered at that moment as Kaoru tilted his head to deepen the kiss, the feelings it caused to run through him managing to drown out everything else for the time being.
It was an effect they both still had on each other, since no matter when they were together they managed to somehow shut out the remaining world and concentrate only on each other. Still trying not to break the kiss Die tangled their legs, shifting until his lover was resting completely on top of him.
When Kaoru thought about it, he had to admit that he really didn't need anybody else but the redheaded guitarist. He wanted his daughter to experience something similar and prayed that she had taken the right decision in trying it with Sho. Just one second later, his lover's tongue reminded him to forget about thinking and he mewled softly, pressing himself firmly against the body underneath.
Die was simply grateful to have the other man there with him, to be able to share this kind of moments together still after so many years. They had definitely made the right choice when they had decided to try it together again, although at that time they had had doubts and hadn't been sure in the slightest if things would work out. But seeing where they were now, everything had been simply worth it.
Sometimes, Kaoru felt as if they had already spent an eternity together and then he still discovered new things in his lover, Die still being able to surprise him. Together, that he was sure of, they would survive whatever troubles were awaiting them. The first thing probably being facing his ex-wife and telling her about the fact that Mika would become a mother.
It was one of the things they appreciated in their relationship the most, that they were able to trust each other completely, to back each other up and live through hard times together. Even after the kiss broke they kept their faces close, their breaths mixing as they were held captive by each other's gazes. The older guitarist always felt like drowning in those chocolate brown depths, and was sure if he only stared long enough, he could see straight to the bottom of his lover's soul. He was caressing the other man's cheeks with his thumbs, but despite that didn't move an inch.
"You know I love you, right?" Die's voice was soft as he spoke up, breaking the silence finally.
"I think I do." Kaoru smiled down on him, a warm, soft and honest smile. "Too," he stated after a moment, quickly pecking the other man's full lips.
"You know, I already told it Mika once, but I'm kinda glad we didn't make it with our first try back then." The younger man ran his nose along the other one's, pecking his lips again in the end.
"Why's that?" Came the inevitable question since the older guitarist didn't take the effort to think about it himself.
"Because now we have this one special young lady making our lives so much richer," Die explained the obvious. "Besides, you know I couldn't have ever given you children, so this way you got the whole deal."
The comment made Kaoru ponder for a moment and then he smiled. "Yeah. And this special young lady's now giving us a hard time." He looked at the other man from sparkling eyes. "I love her from the bottom of my heart, but I would've taken you even without being able to have children. I hope you know that."
"Thank you." The redhead smiled honestly, really appreciating the words especially since he knew how honestly those were meant.
"Don't you regret it? I mean that you're not having children of your own? You would've been such a good father," the older guitarist went on, his voice quiet but still he wanted to know.
"I've enjoyed being a stepdad for Mika, but I don't think I miss anything although I don't have any kids of my own." Die answered, meaning it sincerely. "As long as I have you, I'm happy."
"You were made for me." Kaoru smiled brightly. "And I for you. Besides, Mika's your child too. You've been there at the day of her birth, smoked that cigar with me and held my hand because I almost fainted when I suddenly realized how much responsibility it meant to be a father."
"You were pale as chalk that day." The younger man laughed freely. "I thought you would just suddenly lose your consciousness and fall to the floor any second."
"Believe me, I was at the verge....," the older guitarist gave away. "I was scared to death, but then, I got this little bundle of a human to hold in my arms and everything suddenly made sense. Gods, but she was such an ugly baby."
"I could already tell she would grow to look like you." Die chuckled, his eyes sparkling. He remembered that day clearly, and it was a pleasant memory despite the slight melancholy sidenote attached to it. He had been honestly happy for his friend and his wife, but when the parents had first got a moment with their child, he had felt like a total outsider, and quickly slipped away from the room.
"By her wrinkly red face and her chubby limbs?" Kaoru joked. He remembered the moment as well, as much as he still remembered how much he had missed his best friend after he had gone. But he hadn't had much time for that anyways since Nozomi had needed him. He could still feel the sting in his heart when he had realized he couldn't have both, wife, child AND the love of his friend.
"No, but her pretty little nose." Die grinned, leaning to plant a soft kiss on his lover's nose right after the words had left his lips. "And the determined shrieking told me she'd have your nature as well."
"Gods, be glad that you haven't been there during the first nights. No matter what we did, she was screaming if something wasn't to her liking." The older guitarist shuddered at the remembrance. "I was so glad when we went on tour and I could leave that place for some time."
"You two just didn't know how to handle her," the redhead teased. "But don't worry, you became quite a decent dad eventually."
"You have no idea what you're talking about. I remember YOUR face when you changed her diapers for the first time."
"I bet you didn't look much happier when you did it for the first time." Die frowned instantly. "Besides, she's your daughter, you are obligated to take care of those things."
"But you were my best friend and I so much wanted you to be her godfather. I only had no chance against Nozomi back then." Kaoru smiled, kissing the other man's forehead. "Now you're her father, which is only better."
"She really didn't like me back then already, did she?" The younger man had gotten along with Nozomi back in the time before the divorce, but they had never been really friendly with each other.
"She was jealous and whenever I went out to hit some clubs with you alone, she was raging. But I didn't give a damn. We had had some fights because of that back then already," the older guitarist gave away.
"I thought you had settled the whole topic." Die was honestly surprised. "You know, I was a bit surprised when you even told her about it in the first place..."
"Told her about what?" Kaoru looked at him in surprise.
"About that we had a thing for each other before you met her..."
"Well," Kaoru chuckled a bit, "first, Toshi dropped an ambiguous remark and then I somehow spilled the beans accidentally. Besides, it was nothing I had to hide." The last sentence was spoken with a lot of conviction, the older guitarist nodding even to emphasize its meaning.
"It might've made her like me more though." Die chuckled. "Not that my life would depend on her liking me."
"Believe me. It was better this way. She really tried to be nice to you since she knew I wouldn't let go of my friendship to you, but if you had tried to be her friend as well, she probably would've scratched out your eyes.
"She really hated me from the first moment we met, you know. I still remember the cold stare I got, and she didn't even know me then."
"She saw you as a rival. And, let’s face it," Kaoru smiled sweetly, "she was right in the end."
"I tried hard not to be though." Die smiled. "Mika once asked me how I managed not to just fall apart every time I saw you with Nozomi back then."
"And? How did you?"
"I don't know. I just locked the feelings up somewhere and forbade myself to think of them ever."
"I don't know about it either. Looking back, I must have still been in love with you. But we had such a stressful time with the band and I with my family which made it easy to push those things aside. And once we had more time, and everything became more relaxed, my marriage was falling apart rapidly. I believe it was fate." The older guitarist looked distant, lost in those memories.
"I don't know... But I'm glad you chose me in the end." Smiling softly, Die moved away a strand of hair from the other man's face, but not before toying with it for a while.
"You really are modest," Kaoru stated matter-of-factly. "And I'm glad you took me back."
"I had no other choice, really." The younger man had to laugh.
"I was so afraid that you'd yell at me that I should just fuck off and not warm up old things."
"I wouldn't have probably yelled at you even if I wouldn't have wanted to start again. You were extremely precious as a friend too."
"Still, it would've been odd, don't you agree?" Kaoru asked quietly. "I mean, you would've known that I feel more than friendship and it would've made things awkward."
"I never really thought about that," Die admitted with a smile. "It was kinda clear for me that I mirrored the feelings."
"I was quite sure about that, but still I felt insecure about it. Because one thing was for sure, if I ever started all over with you, I wanted it to last long."
"It would've made no sense otherwise, to make things complicated over something we weren't serious about."
"Look where we are now. A middleaged couple and I still love you as much as I did back then. If not more," Kaoru confessed honestly.
"We really made it, huh?" Die smiled brightly, his eyes sparkling. "I guess it's safe to say it now."
"Yeah. I will have to keep you now anyways. Nobody wants to have an old, wrinkly guitarist who tends to become chubby." Kaoru mirrored his lover's smile and couldn't resist stealing a short kiss from him.
"I hope you meant you with those words and not me." The younger man laughed, pulling the other down instantly for another kiss.
"Of course I meant me. Tell me please where you are getting chubby." Like testing it, Kaoru took a bit of skin of his lover's belly between his thumb and index-finger. "You're still slim, soft and drop-dead gorgeous."
"I'm getting old too, don't worry." Die squirmed a bit to make the other man let go of him. "Besides, I still think you look gorgeous. Like wine, better every year."
"You make me blush." The older man really meant it. "And although you're becoming older too, you still look not a year older than 25. And you're young in mind which is far more important."
"As long as you're fit enough to have some fun," Die stressed the last word noticeably. "Together we've got everything needed."
"Well," Kaoru drawled, "as long as YOU still are fit enough, I won't hinder us to have some fun." He stressed the last word in the same way his lover had, purposefully grinding a bit against him. It made the younger man release a small pleased sigh, his eyes falling closed halfway. "I'll be fit enough longer than you. I'm younger."
"Only ten months," the older man whispered smirking and took his lover's earlobe between his teeth, tugging it gently. He wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else, wouldn't trade this life for anything since the younger man was all he needed, made him feel loved and desired like nobody before.
"It's enough, old man." Die tilted his head a bit, obviously enjoying the moment to no end.
"Hmm, but that wouldn't leave you much time to show that you're more fit than me once I wear out," Kaoru purred, lazily nibbling his way down his lover's neck.
"So let's hope you won't wear out anytime soon, right?" The younger man chuckled, tugging the other's shirt until he was able to slide his hands underneath it.
"I'd still say I'm more able and more fit than you when it comes to certain things." The last two words were only a low whisper and the older man scraped his teeth across the skin the last few centimetres before he bit down softly near the collarbone.
"Certain things?" Die arched an eyebrow, gasping slightly as he felt his lover's teeth on his skin, sending an electric shiver down his spine.
"Yeah." Came the mysterious reply as Kaoru licked the reddened skin apologetically. His lover's mere scent did things to his body, but tasting his skin and feeling the other man's reactions to it always turned him on.
"What things?" The younger man still wasn't willing to forget about it, despite the fact that everything the older guitarist did managed to turn him on even more.
"Working out," Kaoru had lifted his head, grinning at his lover. "Until sweat flows down your body in torrents."
"Yeah? You think so?" Die mirrored the grin, tilting his head a bit.
"I told you that I do." Smirking, Kaoru shifted a bit like absent-mindedly to press his crotch against the other man's thigh.
Instantly, the redhead lifted his leg a bit, creating more pressure against his lover's groin. "You just have too much self confidence..."
The older guitarist grit his teeth, swallowing the pleased moan that tried to break free from his throat. "Nah, I simply AM that good." Again, he shifted a bit, anxious not to lose the pressure on his growing arousal, and used his other leg to do the same to his lover.
He was rewarded with a small, pleased gasp as the younger man tried to arch up a bit into the touch. "I know you're good. But THAT good?"
"Now you hurt my feelings..." Despite his words, Kaoru moved his leg a bit more, his lover's excitement clearly palpable through his pants. "So maybe I should consider admitting that I'm an old, tired man who has to go to sleep at this hour of the day," he suggested playfully.
"Or then you could try to prove me wrong?" Die suggested instantly with a grin, a low groan falling from his lips as he gained a bit more of the wanted friction.
"What if I'm too afraid I could fail?" Of course the older guitarist wasn't serious and when he felt his lover's hands on his lower back, he sat up and stretched his arms so that his shirt could be easily slipped off him.
The younger man threw the shirt to the side, before admiringly running his flat palms along the other's chest and stomach, straight to the waistband of his pants. "You should be comfortable enough around me to know I wouldn't hold it against you."
"But I know you well enough to know you would tease me with this." Smirking, Kaoru leaned backwards, backing himself up with his hands on his lover's thighs. His gaze roamed from the redhead's face to his hands, waiting for him to finally open his jeans.
Slowly Die unbuttoned them, sliding down the zipper. As soon as he was done, he instantly slid his hand inside, never leaving the other man's eyes with his. "Only lovingly."
Automatically, the older man's eyes fell half way shut and the moan, he had held back so far, now pushed its way through his lips. "It still would hurt my pride," he gave away, not managing to steady his voice enough to appear serious.
"I'd make you forget about that you ever even were hurt." The younger man responded self-confidently, using his free hand to tug down his lover's pants a bit, while still keeping on his ministrations.
"Die..." Quickly, Kaoru grabbed his lover's wrist to make him stop. "Lemme get outta those first. And you too." He lifted himself up and quickly stripped off his jeans while the other man got rid of his shirt first.
"And here I was determined to make you lose it already." Die grinned, but obediently discarded all his clothes to the floor before settling back down on the bed.
"But that was the first sign of losing it," Kaoru contradicted and quickly climbed back on his lover. He got into the very same position as before, his butt rubbing against the other man's arousal while he was waiting to be touched again. "You can finish your task now," he stated generously, an impish sparkle lighting his eyes.
"I can?" The younger man grinned, obviously pleased as he instantly laced his fingers around his lover's length, stroking tentatively. "And I have to admit I love you even more without any clothes on."
"Just wait a few years and there will probably be a whole lot more in me you could love," Kaoru joked but had to close his eyes as his lover's touch sent small shivers down his spine, heat shooting to his groin.
"I'm not sure if I like those kind of comments." Die couldn't help but to chuckle a bit though. He kept his eyes locked on the other man's face, drinking in every single display of pleasure he was able to find.
"You promised to love me. Even when I'm becoming fat," the older man reminded him, his eyes still on half-mast. Tentatively, he reached behind himself for his lover's length, slowly beginning to stroke him as well.
"I do." The younger man had to stop for a while, just to swallow as the touch sent pleasant waves through him. "But you're not even close to becoming fat."
"I know, but one never knows." Kaoru smiled, increasing his ministrations. Suddenly, he bent down, first only licking across his lover's lips before engaging him in a passionate kiss as his want to move, his lust and need, simply had to be released somehow.
Instantly, Die mewled into the kiss, trying to respond as best as he was able to. He tried to intensify his ministrations on the hard flesh, hoping his lover would just lose his patience and grant them both more. Without him having control over it, the older man's body began to tremble slightly, the need for more almost unbearable already. Still, he had learned to control himself, determined to make his lover lose it this time. Kaoru remembered very well that he had been too impatient the last times and Die had teased him with that fact more often, saying something about dirty old men needing it quick.
After the kiss broke, he ran his open mouth from the other man's chin, nibbling the taut skin which covered his adams-apple. The redhead had closed his eyes, his mouth hanging open as the heat within was beginning to get higher every second. Helplessly he arched up into the touch, wanting everything he could get. And although he had been determined to make his lover lose it, he was beginning to be too impatient himself already. With a frustrated groan he suddenly grabbed the other man's hips, rolling them over in a swift movement.
It caused Kaoru to gasp surprised and let go off the redhead's arousal. But once he was pinned down underneath him, a grin found its way to his lips. Tentatively, he parted his thighs a bit. His heart was racing in his chest and a part of him just wanted the other to straight out fuck him, to put out the fire which was burning his insides.
"No, Kao." Die smirked as he noticed the reaction, leaning to breathe a kiss on his lover's lips. "I'm not gonna nail you."
"Fuck!" The older guitarist growled, his voice giving away how impatient he was himself and how displeased by his lover's words. "So you're determined to kill me?" he asked, looking straight at the other man.
The answer was a short headshake, along with a bright grin, before Die leaned down to initiate a hungry kiss. He took a hold of his lover's arousal, shifting forward a bit and then, without warning, he moved down, impaling himself. The initial feeling was searing pain, but he had known to expect that. They didn't go for it without lube or prepping usually, but frankly he had been too impatient this time to care.
It wasn't only painful for the younger man, but for Kaoru too as the tightness that was engulfing him, along with the clenching of his lover's adjusting muscles, caused a painful friction. The sensation was so deliciously intense that he couldn't tell pleasure from pain anymore though and he squeezed his eyes shut, a raw groan leaving his throat. "Gods Die!" The words had been meant admonishing, because Kaoru knew his lover would be seriously sore for the next couple of days, but they came out more pleading as he just needed the other one to move.
Only for a short while, the younger man staid still, trying to force the pain away and get a hold of himself. But he knew it wouldn't succeed without him beginning to move, trying to make pleasure override the pain. As soon as he felt that his muscles had relaxed even a slightest bit he lifted himself up, before slowly moving down again.
The older man's chest was heaving, flashes of pleasure shooting through his whole body, finally shutting down his brains. Instinctively, he grabbed his lover's hips in the attempt to aid, or to guide him, but in reality it only had the effect that his fingernails left small marks on the perfect skin. Die's mouth was hanging open as he desperately tried to gasp for air, waves of pleasure running along his spine and seeping into every molecule of his being. He had found the exactly right angle to move down on, and only kept torturing them both as he kept his pace slow. It was a sweet torment though, something a part of him would've wanted to last forever.
The sound of heavy respiration and moans, of skin meeting skin was filling the air, boosting Kaoru's libido. He enjoyed the slow pace, how he clearly felt every inch of himself sliding in and out of his lover. It was torture, yes, caused sweat to rise on his forehead and his upper lip, made shivers run down his spine and him tighten the hold on the other man's hips subconsciously. Yet, it was heaven at the same time.
Neither of them knew how much time had passed when the younger man finally began to pick up the pace in the desperate need of release. He was panting harshly, his brains shut down the longest and he knew he wouldn't be able to take this kind of intensity for long without losing his mind. He couldn't prevent audible groans falling from him as he began to move quicker, stars flashing in front of his eyes every time he sat down.
Naturally, without thinking about it, Kaoru brought one hand to his lover's arousal, stroking him according to the pace. Every time he was buried fully in the other man, he let his thumb brush across the moist tip to intensify the sensations for Die. He himself was already teetering on the edge, panting with sweat running down his temples, soaking his hair.
And although he knew the feeling, knew what to expect, the force of his orgasm, this wave of utmost bliss which was collapsing over him, always managed to take him by surprise. It was something one always tried to memorize, but never achieved. He was moaning, his hips desperately trying to arch off the mattress as he came, totally overridden by pleasure.
It didn't take long, only a split second before the younger man followed his lover, throwing his head backwards as the climax hit him with a feral scream tearing its way from his throat. His world only consisted of feeling for those few blissful moments, pleasure drowning out everything else from his mind.
Limply, Kaoru fell back into the cushions, one hand still holding his lover's arousal while the other rested on his hips. He was spent and yet felt high, a moronic smile dancing on his lips. As soon as he had caught his breath enough, he spoke up. "So that was your clever plan."
"Yep. Did it work?" Die had to chuckle, practically falling forward until he was resting on the other man.
Instantly, the older man wrapped his arms around him, softly caressing the damp skin on his back. "I think it worked quite well. What would you say?"
"I say I won't walk tomorrow." The younger one laughed, still somewhat out of breath.
"I say it's your own fault and you will still have to. I won't carry you to work." In his mind's eye, Kaoru already heard the other bandmates joke about Die's funny way to walk, heard their dirty comments.
"You won't even carry me?" Theatrically, Die pouted, pushing his bottom lip forward and made a sad puppy dog face. "You're cruel."
The reaction made Kaoru chuckle and catch that sweet lower lip between his teeth, tugging it. "Am not cruel. But who can fuck himself without prepping and lube can also walk and work."
"I still say you're cruel!" That was at least what the redhead was trying to say, although the words sounded totally weird without him being able to use his bottom lip.
"Maybe I will carry you from the car to the studio," Kaoru joked after releasing his lover again. "But I will demand some kind of payment for that," he added with a wink.
"Payment? Just name your prize." Die laughed, completely sure that his lover would never carry him, especially not in public.
"Well, I would have to think about that," the older man answered chuckling. "Maybe a good blowjob during our lunchbreak?" He didn't intend to carry his lover, but if Die set out to it, he would even do that.
"That doesn't sound bad..." The younger man frowned thoughtfully.
"As a starter," Kaoru hurried to add, a huge smirk spreading on his lips.
"And what after that then?"
"Let's say you have to serve me breakfast in bed next weekend too and do me at least one morning before work!" The older guitarist knew that his lover didn't fancy having a shag before work. It wasn't that he would be against it generally, it was just that he hated waking up earlier than he would have to.
"Serve breakfast in bed AND the shag?" Die didn't sound that pleased with it. "Come on, carrying me shouldn't be that big of a deal. You should do it with joy and pride!"
"It's not easy to look proud with a huge redhead on your back," Kaoru reminded snickering, but then sighed. "Okay, you can choose; the blowjob and either the morning-shag or the breakfast in bed."
"You can carry me bride-style too." The redhead winked instantly. "Wouldn't that be cool!"
"Yeah, totally cool." Somehow the statement sounded sarcastic. "And afterwards I would need a physical therapy because of my hurt back."
"I'm not that heavy." Die sounded completely hurt, managing to create a totally believable frown.
"No, but I'm weak and you still weigh too much for me to carry you all the way from the car to the studio," Kaoru remarked, ignoring his lover's expression.
"You should be able to do it. Don't they say that love makes you conquer everything?"
Defeated, the older man released a huge sigh, but grinned suspiciously at a moment's notice. "Okay, I will carry you bride-style. And I only have one condition."
"Which is?"
"You wear a dress."
"A dress?"
"Yupp!" Kaoru knew that his lover would never do that and so he would never have to carry him and it was still the other's fault. At least this was the way his thoughts were heading.
"What kind of dress? You mean a wedding-dress or one of those freaky outfits we used to wear?" Die looked at the other questioningly.
"No no," the older shook his head, "not one of those outfits, but not necessarily a wedding dress either. A real dress, a girl's dress." He grinned, although his lover's question already made him fear that he was really considering that matter.
"Alright." The redhead didn't want to lose, his stubbornness being enough and he grinned at his lover. "Get me a dress and I'll wear it." He was pretty sure Kaoru wouldn't go for it in the end.
This time, he was wrong since the older guitarist relied that his lover would back off at the last moment. "Deal." He nodded and instead of sealing this with a handshake, he stretched his neck to give the other one a kiss. "Will I still get my blowjob during the break?" he asked after they had parted, sounding like a little boy talking to his parents.
"You will." Die chuckled, pecking his lover's lips again. "It's a promise."
"Good." Contently, the older man dropped back into the cushions. "You're too good to me. But does it mean I have to really buy you a dress?"
"If you want me to wear it, how else? I don't have one." The younger man grinned. Carefully he lifted himself off the other, only to snuggle up close to him again.
Kaoru fumbled for the blanket which had almost slipped off the bed. He caught a corner though and finally spread it over them. "Well, but how shall I know your size and if it fits you?" he asked, his sparkling eyes giving away that he was joking. "And I would have to get it before work tomorrow." His eyes had caught the clock on the nightstand and he added. "Correction to that. Today."
"But it was you who wanted me to wear a dress. So you will just have to figure something out. I'll expect you to carry me anyways," Die informed, sneaking his arms around the other man's waist and resting his head against his shoulder contently.
"What? The dress is a condition for carrying you." The older guitarist reminded, but there was a smile on his face. He was still sure that his lover would back off the last second, dress or not.
"No, it's not. You promised to carry me and if you won't I'll put you through a long celibacy. It's your own fault if you can't find a suitable dress."
"Hey, that's not fair. You just twist everything how you want it." Kaoru pursed his lips. "You wouldn't dare to put me on a long dry-spell," he stated convinced, but added a bit insecure. "Would you?"
"If you don't keep your promises, I might." Die managed to look completely serious, although he wasn't sure if he could do that even if he wanted to.
"But I only promised to carry you bride-style if you wear a dress. So getting the dress is kinda your duty."
"It's not. Don't you even try that!"
"Of course it is," the older man argued. But no matter if he thought he was right, he knew that his lover would have it his way in the end.
"No it isn't. I promised to wear a dress IF you get me one. And you sealed the deal." Die nodded convincedly.
"Can't we get back to the piggy back and the breakfast in bed?" Kaoru asked hopeful.
"No."
"You know," Kaoru smirked, "I should fuck you again right now to make it all worth it."
"Go ahead." Die chuckled. "But then you'll carry me all day tomorrow."
"You can sit on the couch and we bring you your guitar if needed." The older man presented his perfect solution. "So I'd only have to carry you from here to the car and then to the studio and back."
"Yeah, plus to get some food in between and to the toilet if I need to go." The younger man added.
"That's no problem." Kaoru answered self-confidently. "But you could stand on your own in front of the urinal, right? Or would you need help there too?"
"I could stand." Die laughed, playfully hitting the other's shoulder. "I wouldn't be a complete invalid."
"You can't know that." The other man smirked.
"Why's that? Are you bragging with your abilities now?"
"Maybe..."
"You're not that good."
"Hey!" The comment earned Die a playful slap on the head. "You're supposed to praise my abilities right now to make me feel good."
"Aw, sorry." The answer came with a happy chuckle. "Of course you're able. Very able."
"And if you want to screw me till I can't walk anymore, you could surely do that," Kaoru added, looking serious.
"Yeah, you could, if you spent the whole night with it and really set out to it. Maybe."
"If you go on like that, I might fall for putting YOU through a long time-span of celibacy."
"You wouldn't do that." Die took on the most perfect innocent and pleading look.
"One can't know that." Kaoru answered, but had to bite back the grin which was persistently trying to break free on his lips.
"Aw, but I wasn't trying to be mean! I just tried to tell you you always brag and never really walk the talk." It wasn't even true, but the younger man was somehow all too hyperactive to stop the teasing.
"I never walk the talk?" The older guitarist knitted his eyebrows and tried to give the other man a glare. "Be careful what you're saying, young man. You're practically begging for proof here."
"I know I am."
"Did I ever tell you throughout our long years together that you're impossible?"
"About every other day."
That made Kaoru smile and shake his head. He was still pinned down underneath the other man and suddenly, parted his thighs a bit, just to tease him. "You know, you really have a way to make me forget that we have to work tomorrow."
"I am trying hard here, don't you see?" Lazily the younger man turned his head to take a glance at the other, grinning. "I'm feeling far too energetic to sleep yet."
"You do?" The older smirked, parting his thighs further until the lower half of his lover's body slipped between them. "Then why don't you do anything clever to channel the energy?" he purred lowly.
"If you're trying to make me screw you so that you can wriggle out of the carrying, forget it." Die gave the other man a warning glance.
"Why not? I promise I won't whine. After all," Kaoru grinned, "I'm not as much of a sissy as you are."
"You promise things now, but in the morning you will definitely use it as an excuse not to carry me after all."
"C'mon," the older guitarist purred, "admit that you would love to take me." He put his palms on his lover's butt, pressing him down while moving his hips upwards slightly. "That you would like to feel all of me, the heat, the tightness, this incredible friction," he added lowly.
"Kaoru!" Die quickly moved his hands to cover his ears, trying not to listen to the other man to gain control over himself again.
The reaction made Kaoru laugh and still he was determined to make his lover snap. Initially, he would've probably gone for another short shag before finally getting to sleep, but now he was too restless to think of that. "I know you can still hear me and very well feel me pinned down underneath you, our bodies moved by each other's breath, your cock rubbing against mine," he went on unperturbed.
The younger man started a low hum, ignored his lover's words completely and pretended he didn't hear a thing. This time, the older guitarist managed to hold back his laughter since his lover was acting like a stubborn child. But he could be just as stubborn and maybe even more childish. Quickly, he wrapped his legs around the other man, hooking them behind his back. In doing so, he grinded against Die and purposefully began to moan; fist only low and quiet, until he allowed the sounds to grow louder, his chest rising and sinking rapidly as if he was having the time of his life.
The younger man seemed to panic, and quickly tried to break free from the grasp of the legs. He even managed it, but not without using his hands which left him completely unsheltered to the sounds. Inching a bit away from his lover, he glared at him sulking, as he had to admit that Kaoru was good, knew how to make him give in. "You play dirty..."
"Yeah," Kaoru admitted freewillingly, his face bearing almost the same expression as when they made love to each other; but only almost. Suddenly, he groaned out loud once, not completely able to hide his grin. Since the other man had left him, he brought his right hand straight to his length, tentatively beginning to pleasure himself while sounds of delight left his lips constantly.
Die pouted seriously for a moment, just trying to come up with something so that he wouldn't have to really give in. The temptation was too big though, and he couldn't just stay put and watch. Silently he slid closer, until he was lying beside the other man, reaching out his hand and lacing their fingers together around his lover's hardness.
It caused the older man to tilt his head a bit and to look at him straight. Stretching his neck, he caught his lips in a slow kiss which suited the pace of their movements on his arousal. A part of him knew that Die had gone for it because he still didn't want to give in, but another part was sure that he would have to soon.
Die replied to the kiss, practically devouring the other man's mouth while quickening the pace with which their hands were moving. He loved the way the smaller man's form was trembling slightly, pleasure clearly written on his features. The kiss bereaved Kaoru of the bit breath he had left, but he didn't even notice. Pleasure was rising quickly as heat spread from the lower part of his body all over his being. It was Die, who chose the pace, Die who decided the pressure with which their combined hands were gripping his length, not him. He had surrendered to the sensations some time ago already, allowing his lover to take over control.
Even if the redhead had intended to go for something else eventually, he was simply too hypnotized by the older man to do so anymore. As they broke the kiss for air, he began to nibble on his lover's neck, scraping his teeth along the soft skin while intensifying the ministrations coevally. A palpable shudder ran through the older man's body, voiced by a low moan. He tilted his head, offering his lover more skin to work, his hips jerking up, desperate for more friction. Kaoru tried to get a grip on himself, wanted to tell the other to still nail him, but the feelings he was going through right at that moment were too alluring, too good to let go of them.
Determinedly the younger man wanted to bring his lover over the edge, and simply set out to do that as best as he could. He enjoyed every single reaction he got, every shudder, every sound and every movement. Panting, Kaoru closed his eyes, subconsciously spreading his legs a bit further as if this would take some of the pressure away which had been building up for some time now. Stars were dancing before his closed eyes already and it only took a few more strokes, before his body tensed noticeably. A split second later, the orgasm hit him, his release flowing out of him in short spurts as well as a relieved sigh.
He was almost instantly rewarded with a soft kiss, as the redhead pulled him closer into a warm embrace. Moments like these were precious, because he simply enjoyed holding the other man, knowing how good he felt. It was mirrored in Kaoru's faint smile. His eyes were still closed and he needed a moment to catch his breath, leaning heavily against his lover. "Thank you," he whispered. "Although I should slap you for being so stubborn."
"No, you shouldn't." Die chuckled, pressing a bunch of soft kisses along his jawline. "Besides, you enjoyed that far too much to be mad at me."
"True." The older man smiled. The bliss hadn't left him completely yet and his heart was still beating quicker than usual. "But it was you who said he's feeling too energetic."
"So?" The younger simply sneaked his arms around Kaoru, pulling him a bit closer and enjoyed the shared warmth.
"So I would've thought you'd channel this energy by screwing me blind," Kaoru gave away, pillowing his head on his lover's chest. He was way too comfortable to leave the other man right now and get cleaned up.
"You know, if it hadn't meant giving in, I would've probably done just that." Die had to laugh at his own behaviour, but he was way too happy to care. "I don't mind though. I can still do that tomorrow."
"So jerking me off has calmed you down?" the older man asked disbelieving. "Too bad."
"Whaddya mean 'too bad'?" The younger man laughed again. "Aren't you content enough to sleep already?"
"I think I could try to sleep," came the vague answer. Luckily, the redhead couldn't see his lover's smirk as he was pressing his face against the warm skin of his chest.
"Alright." Die was still chuckling a bit, but just pulled the other man as close as possible and relaxed, intending on getting some rest as well.
They didn't have long anymore before they would have to get up again. Inwardly, Kaoru couldn't help but to think that, when they had been younger, they would've done it all night, considering the mood in which they were. But now they both knew how to value even a few hours of sleep, along with some cuddling.
Die had always been one to fall asleep easily so it only took a few moments before he was already drifting off to sleep, despite the fact that he had been somewhat restless just a while ago. But the other man's presence alone made him relax contently. Kaoru was listening to the younger man's steady respiration, his heartbeat slowly lulling him to sleep after some time. At nights like these, when they were holding onto each other tightly, practically not moving at all, he always slept best.
Author:
seinen_no and fonulynRating: NC17 overall
Pairing: Die and Kaoru
Disclaimer: We own no one, only our dirty imaginations.
Summary: When Kaoru and his wife get a divorce, he is forced to leave his little daughter to live with her mother when he’s moving out. He finds support in his best friend, but is friendship everything life has in store for them? Or is their past together going to resurface now that Kaoru’s life has been turned upside down?
Comments:
seinen_no: Hi dears! I'm terribly sorry that we took so long again. But fonulyn was away for the weekend and we totally forgot putting up the new chap before. But at least now you will get a lot of lovey-dovey stuff and at least some more smut x) Have fun!fonulyn: Okays, this chapter is only Die and Kaoru, in bed XD Talking and… having some other activities 8D So not much plot-progressing here, but I still think they’re utterly sweet anyways x) Enjoy!And feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive.
Previously happened: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9 , Part 10, Part 11
Chapter 12
Mika had left together with Sho, telling them not to wait for her. She was obviously staying over at his place and the realization didn't help to make Kaoru feel good. "She'll leave us for good soon," he whispered, his face pressed against his lover's chest as they were lying in bed. It had already been late when the two youths had said goodbye and since the guitarists were emotionally exhausted, they had retreated already. It was a week of work anyways and they would have to get up early the next morning.
"You knew that day would come eventually." Die smiled, holding the other man close and absent mindedly toyed with his hair. "Besides, she's not going to leave you completely. She just won't be living with you any longer."
"C'mon, don't try to tell me that this is easy for you." Kaoru knew that his lover always tried to be the reasonable part when it came to Mika, but he also knew that Die loved her like his own flesh and blood and that he certainly would miss her a lot.
"The day she leaves I'll be crying like a baby," the redhead admitted willingly with a chuckle.
"See, so don’t try to fool me here and be honest. It fucking hurts."
"It does. But think of the positive sides, we'll have the whole house only for ourselves again."
"Yeah." Kaoru nodded and then lifted his head, smiling at his lover. "And I hope you already have a good plan how to console me."
"I have some thoughts..." Die drawled, a grin tugging his lips.
"Just hurry up with those, you might not have much time left to think," his lover reminded and quickly pecked the redhead's lips.
"I can improvise." The younger man didn't seem to be that worried about it, simply hugging the other one a bit closer to himself.
"That's good. I like it spontaneous anyways." Kaoru sighed contently and closed his eyes. "What do you think about Sho?" he asked after a few moments of silence had passed.
"I think he's a nice guy." Die answered honestly. "And definitely calmer and smarter than he looks like."
"Actually," the older man began, "he reminded me a bit of you." He grinned. "I don't mean the looks, but he appeared quite cool although he was dead nervous. And he seems to be humorous."
"See? In addition to other similarities, you and Mika also share a good taste in men." The redhead had to laugh.
"I wouldn't go THAT far when it comes to Sho." Kaoru chuckled, pinching his lover. "And nobody has such a good taste as me."
"Hey, don't you torture me!" Die squirmed under the treatment, trying to dodge the other man's hands. "And I know, you just have the best taste ever. I'm a living proof of that."
"And you're such a modest person." Quickly, the older guitarist crawled on top of his lover and gave him a short kiss. "That's probably the reason why I fell for you. Since you're so inconspicuous."
"Yeah, might be." The answer came with a smirk. "But I don't really care what the reason was as long as you fell for me and aren't going to leave me at least in the next sixty years."
"I'm not planning on going anywhere." Kaoru answered honestly. "Especially not right at this moment." Bending his head down, he initiated a deep kiss. Many things had happened that week and he somehow needed a few moments where he wouldn't have to think of anything.
More than gladly, Die responded to the kiss, bringing his hands up to tangle into his lover's hair and keeping him close to himself. Finally all the stress was beginning to flow away from him, making way for relaxation and contentment. Despite the emotional uproar, they had both been stressed by work as well, needing to get the new album done soon. Usually, it wasn't that big of a problem, but Toshiya had been sick and so they were a bit behind schedule. But nothing of this mattered at that moment as Kaoru tilted his head to deepen the kiss, the feelings it caused to run through him managing to drown out everything else for the time being.
It was an effect they both still had on each other, since no matter when they were together they managed to somehow shut out the remaining world and concentrate only on each other. Still trying not to break the kiss Die tangled their legs, shifting until his lover was resting completely on top of him.
When Kaoru thought about it, he had to admit that he really didn't need anybody else but the redheaded guitarist. He wanted his daughter to experience something similar and prayed that she had taken the right decision in trying it with Sho. Just one second later, his lover's tongue reminded him to forget about thinking and he mewled softly, pressing himself firmly against the body underneath.
Die was simply grateful to have the other man there with him, to be able to share this kind of moments together still after so many years. They had definitely made the right choice when they had decided to try it together again, although at that time they had had doubts and hadn't been sure in the slightest if things would work out. But seeing where they were now, everything had been simply worth it.
Sometimes, Kaoru felt as if they had already spent an eternity together and then he still discovered new things in his lover, Die still being able to surprise him. Together, that he was sure of, they would survive whatever troubles were awaiting them. The first thing probably being facing his ex-wife and telling her about the fact that Mika would become a mother.
It was one of the things they appreciated in their relationship the most, that they were able to trust each other completely, to back each other up and live through hard times together. Even after the kiss broke they kept their faces close, their breaths mixing as they were held captive by each other's gazes. The older guitarist always felt like drowning in those chocolate brown depths, and was sure if he only stared long enough, he could see straight to the bottom of his lover's soul. He was caressing the other man's cheeks with his thumbs, but despite that didn't move an inch.
"You know I love you, right?" Die's voice was soft as he spoke up, breaking the silence finally.
"I think I do." Kaoru smiled down on him, a warm, soft and honest smile. "Too," he stated after a moment, quickly pecking the other man's full lips.
"You know, I already told it Mika once, but I'm kinda glad we didn't make it with our first try back then." The younger man ran his nose along the other one's, pecking his lips again in the end.
"Why's that?" Came the inevitable question since the older guitarist didn't take the effort to think about it himself.
"Because now we have this one special young lady making our lives so much richer," Die explained the obvious. "Besides, you know I couldn't have ever given you children, so this way you got the whole deal."
The comment made Kaoru ponder for a moment and then he smiled. "Yeah. And this special young lady's now giving us a hard time." He looked at the other man from sparkling eyes. "I love her from the bottom of my heart, but I would've taken you even without being able to have children. I hope you know that."
"Thank you." The redhead smiled honestly, really appreciating the words especially since he knew how honestly those were meant.
"Don't you regret it? I mean that you're not having children of your own? You would've been such a good father," the older guitarist went on, his voice quiet but still he wanted to know.
"I've enjoyed being a stepdad for Mika, but I don't think I miss anything although I don't have any kids of my own." Die answered, meaning it sincerely. "As long as I have you, I'm happy."
"You were made for me." Kaoru smiled brightly. "And I for you. Besides, Mika's your child too. You've been there at the day of her birth, smoked that cigar with me and held my hand because I almost fainted when I suddenly realized how much responsibility it meant to be a father."
"You were pale as chalk that day." The younger man laughed freely. "I thought you would just suddenly lose your consciousness and fall to the floor any second."
"Believe me, I was at the verge....," the older guitarist gave away. "I was scared to death, but then, I got this little bundle of a human to hold in my arms and everything suddenly made sense. Gods, but she was such an ugly baby."
"I could already tell she would grow to look like you." Die chuckled, his eyes sparkling. He remembered that day clearly, and it was a pleasant memory despite the slight melancholy sidenote attached to it. He had been honestly happy for his friend and his wife, but when the parents had first got a moment with their child, he had felt like a total outsider, and quickly slipped away from the room.
"By her wrinkly red face and her chubby limbs?" Kaoru joked. He remembered the moment as well, as much as he still remembered how much he had missed his best friend after he had gone. But he hadn't had much time for that anyways since Nozomi had needed him. He could still feel the sting in his heart when he had realized he couldn't have both, wife, child AND the love of his friend.
"No, but her pretty little nose." Die grinned, leaning to plant a soft kiss on his lover's nose right after the words had left his lips. "And the determined shrieking told me she'd have your nature as well."
"Gods, be glad that you haven't been there during the first nights. No matter what we did, she was screaming if something wasn't to her liking." The older guitarist shuddered at the remembrance. "I was so glad when we went on tour and I could leave that place for some time."
"You two just didn't know how to handle her," the redhead teased. "But don't worry, you became quite a decent dad eventually."
"You have no idea what you're talking about. I remember YOUR face when you changed her diapers for the first time."
"I bet you didn't look much happier when you did it for the first time." Die frowned instantly. "Besides, she's your daughter, you are obligated to take care of those things."
"But you were my best friend and I so much wanted you to be her godfather. I only had no chance against Nozomi back then." Kaoru smiled, kissing the other man's forehead. "Now you're her father, which is only better."
"She really didn't like me back then already, did she?" The younger man had gotten along with Nozomi back in the time before the divorce, but they had never been really friendly with each other.
"She was jealous and whenever I went out to hit some clubs with you alone, she was raging. But I didn't give a damn. We had had some fights because of that back then already," the older guitarist gave away.
"I thought you had settled the whole topic." Die was honestly surprised. "You know, I was a bit surprised when you even told her about it in the first place..."
"Told her about what?" Kaoru looked at him in surprise.
"About that we had a thing for each other before you met her..."
"Well," Kaoru chuckled a bit, "first, Toshi dropped an ambiguous remark and then I somehow spilled the beans accidentally. Besides, it was nothing I had to hide." The last sentence was spoken with a lot of conviction, the older guitarist nodding even to emphasize its meaning.
"It might've made her like me more though." Die chuckled. "Not that my life would depend on her liking me."
"Believe me. It was better this way. She really tried to be nice to you since she knew I wouldn't let go of my friendship to you, but if you had tried to be her friend as well, she probably would've scratched out your eyes.
"She really hated me from the first moment we met, you know. I still remember the cold stare I got, and she didn't even know me then."
"She saw you as a rival. And, let’s face it," Kaoru smiled sweetly, "she was right in the end."
"I tried hard not to be though." Die smiled. "Mika once asked me how I managed not to just fall apart every time I saw you with Nozomi back then."
"And? How did you?"
"I don't know. I just locked the feelings up somewhere and forbade myself to think of them ever."
"I don't know about it either. Looking back, I must have still been in love with you. But we had such a stressful time with the band and I with my family which made it easy to push those things aside. And once we had more time, and everything became more relaxed, my marriage was falling apart rapidly. I believe it was fate." The older guitarist looked distant, lost in those memories.
"I don't know... But I'm glad you chose me in the end." Smiling softly, Die moved away a strand of hair from the other man's face, but not before toying with it for a while.
"You really are modest," Kaoru stated matter-of-factly. "And I'm glad you took me back."
"I had no other choice, really." The younger man had to laugh.
"I was so afraid that you'd yell at me that I should just fuck off and not warm up old things."
"I wouldn't have probably yelled at you even if I wouldn't have wanted to start again. You were extremely precious as a friend too."
"Still, it would've been odd, don't you agree?" Kaoru asked quietly. "I mean, you would've known that I feel more than friendship and it would've made things awkward."
"I never really thought about that," Die admitted with a smile. "It was kinda clear for me that I mirrored the feelings."
"I was quite sure about that, but still I felt insecure about it. Because one thing was for sure, if I ever started all over with you, I wanted it to last long."
"It would've made no sense otherwise, to make things complicated over something we weren't serious about."
"Look where we are now. A middleaged couple and I still love you as much as I did back then. If not more," Kaoru confessed honestly.
"We really made it, huh?" Die smiled brightly, his eyes sparkling. "I guess it's safe to say it now."
"Yeah. I will have to keep you now anyways. Nobody wants to have an old, wrinkly guitarist who tends to become chubby." Kaoru mirrored his lover's smile and couldn't resist stealing a short kiss from him.
"I hope you meant you with those words and not me." The younger man laughed, pulling the other down instantly for another kiss.
"Of course I meant me. Tell me please where you are getting chubby." Like testing it, Kaoru took a bit of skin of his lover's belly between his thumb and index-finger. "You're still slim, soft and drop-dead gorgeous."
"I'm getting old too, don't worry." Die squirmed a bit to make the other man let go of him. "Besides, I still think you look gorgeous. Like wine, better every year."
"You make me blush." The older man really meant it. "And although you're becoming older too, you still look not a year older than 25. And you're young in mind which is far more important."
"As long as you're fit enough to have some fun," Die stressed the last word noticeably. "Together we've got everything needed."
"Well," Kaoru drawled, "as long as YOU still are fit enough, I won't hinder us to have some fun." He stressed the last word in the same way his lover had, purposefully grinding a bit against him. It made the younger man release a small pleased sigh, his eyes falling closed halfway. "I'll be fit enough longer than you. I'm younger."
"Only ten months," the older man whispered smirking and took his lover's earlobe between his teeth, tugging it gently. He wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else, wouldn't trade this life for anything since the younger man was all he needed, made him feel loved and desired like nobody before.
"It's enough, old man." Die tilted his head a bit, obviously enjoying the moment to no end.
"Hmm, but that wouldn't leave you much time to show that you're more fit than me once I wear out," Kaoru purred, lazily nibbling his way down his lover's neck.
"So let's hope you won't wear out anytime soon, right?" The younger man chuckled, tugging the other's shirt until he was able to slide his hands underneath it.
"I'd still say I'm more able and more fit than you when it comes to certain things." The last two words were only a low whisper and the older man scraped his teeth across the skin the last few centimetres before he bit down softly near the collarbone.
"Certain things?" Die arched an eyebrow, gasping slightly as he felt his lover's teeth on his skin, sending an electric shiver down his spine.
"Yeah." Came the mysterious reply as Kaoru licked the reddened skin apologetically. His lover's mere scent did things to his body, but tasting his skin and feeling the other man's reactions to it always turned him on.
"What things?" The younger man still wasn't willing to forget about it, despite the fact that everything the older guitarist did managed to turn him on even more.
"Working out," Kaoru had lifted his head, grinning at his lover. "Until sweat flows down your body in torrents."
"Yeah? You think so?" Die mirrored the grin, tilting his head a bit.
"I told you that I do." Smirking, Kaoru shifted a bit like absent-mindedly to press his crotch against the other man's thigh.
Instantly, the redhead lifted his leg a bit, creating more pressure against his lover's groin. "You just have too much self confidence..."
The older guitarist grit his teeth, swallowing the pleased moan that tried to break free from his throat. "Nah, I simply AM that good." Again, he shifted a bit, anxious not to lose the pressure on his growing arousal, and used his other leg to do the same to his lover.
He was rewarded with a small, pleased gasp as the younger man tried to arch up a bit into the touch. "I know you're good. But THAT good?"
"Now you hurt my feelings..." Despite his words, Kaoru moved his leg a bit more, his lover's excitement clearly palpable through his pants. "So maybe I should consider admitting that I'm an old, tired man who has to go to sleep at this hour of the day," he suggested playfully.
"Or then you could try to prove me wrong?" Die suggested instantly with a grin, a low groan falling from his lips as he gained a bit more of the wanted friction.
"What if I'm too afraid I could fail?" Of course the older guitarist wasn't serious and when he felt his lover's hands on his lower back, he sat up and stretched his arms so that his shirt could be easily slipped off him.
The younger man threw the shirt to the side, before admiringly running his flat palms along the other's chest and stomach, straight to the waistband of his pants. "You should be comfortable enough around me to know I wouldn't hold it against you."
"But I know you well enough to know you would tease me with this." Smirking, Kaoru leaned backwards, backing himself up with his hands on his lover's thighs. His gaze roamed from the redhead's face to his hands, waiting for him to finally open his jeans.
Slowly Die unbuttoned them, sliding down the zipper. As soon as he was done, he instantly slid his hand inside, never leaving the other man's eyes with his. "Only lovingly."
Automatically, the older man's eyes fell half way shut and the moan, he had held back so far, now pushed its way through his lips. "It still would hurt my pride," he gave away, not managing to steady his voice enough to appear serious.
"I'd make you forget about that you ever even were hurt." The younger man responded self-confidently, using his free hand to tug down his lover's pants a bit, while still keeping on his ministrations.
"Die..." Quickly, Kaoru grabbed his lover's wrist to make him stop. "Lemme get outta those first. And you too." He lifted himself up and quickly stripped off his jeans while the other man got rid of his shirt first.
"And here I was determined to make you lose it already." Die grinned, but obediently discarded all his clothes to the floor before settling back down on the bed.
"But that was the first sign of losing it," Kaoru contradicted and quickly climbed back on his lover. He got into the very same position as before, his butt rubbing against the other man's arousal while he was waiting to be touched again. "You can finish your task now," he stated generously, an impish sparkle lighting his eyes.
"I can?" The younger man grinned, obviously pleased as he instantly laced his fingers around his lover's length, stroking tentatively. "And I have to admit I love you even more without any clothes on."
"Just wait a few years and there will probably be a whole lot more in me you could love," Kaoru joked but had to close his eyes as his lover's touch sent small shivers down his spine, heat shooting to his groin.
"I'm not sure if I like those kind of comments." Die couldn't help but to chuckle a bit though. He kept his eyes locked on the other man's face, drinking in every single display of pleasure he was able to find.
"You promised to love me. Even when I'm becoming fat," the older man reminded him, his eyes still on half-mast. Tentatively, he reached behind himself for his lover's length, slowly beginning to stroke him as well.
"I do." The younger man had to stop for a while, just to swallow as the touch sent pleasant waves through him. "But you're not even close to becoming fat."
"I know, but one never knows." Kaoru smiled, increasing his ministrations. Suddenly, he bent down, first only licking across his lover's lips before engaging him in a passionate kiss as his want to move, his lust and need, simply had to be released somehow.
Instantly, Die mewled into the kiss, trying to respond as best as he was able to. He tried to intensify his ministrations on the hard flesh, hoping his lover would just lose his patience and grant them both more. Without him having control over it, the older man's body began to tremble slightly, the need for more almost unbearable already. Still, he had learned to control himself, determined to make his lover lose it this time. Kaoru remembered very well that he had been too impatient the last times and Die had teased him with that fact more often, saying something about dirty old men needing it quick.
After the kiss broke, he ran his open mouth from the other man's chin, nibbling the taut skin which covered his adams-apple. The redhead had closed his eyes, his mouth hanging open as the heat within was beginning to get higher every second. Helplessly he arched up into the touch, wanting everything he could get. And although he had been determined to make his lover lose it, he was beginning to be too impatient himself already. With a frustrated groan he suddenly grabbed the other man's hips, rolling them over in a swift movement.
It caused Kaoru to gasp surprised and let go off the redhead's arousal. But once he was pinned down underneath him, a grin found its way to his lips. Tentatively, he parted his thighs a bit. His heart was racing in his chest and a part of him just wanted the other to straight out fuck him, to put out the fire which was burning his insides.
"No, Kao." Die smirked as he noticed the reaction, leaning to breathe a kiss on his lover's lips. "I'm not gonna nail you."
"Fuck!" The older guitarist growled, his voice giving away how impatient he was himself and how displeased by his lover's words. "So you're determined to kill me?" he asked, looking straight at the other man.
The answer was a short headshake, along with a bright grin, before Die leaned down to initiate a hungry kiss. He took a hold of his lover's arousal, shifting forward a bit and then, without warning, he moved down, impaling himself. The initial feeling was searing pain, but he had known to expect that. They didn't go for it without lube or prepping usually, but frankly he had been too impatient this time to care.
It wasn't only painful for the younger man, but for Kaoru too as the tightness that was engulfing him, along with the clenching of his lover's adjusting muscles, caused a painful friction. The sensation was so deliciously intense that he couldn't tell pleasure from pain anymore though and he squeezed his eyes shut, a raw groan leaving his throat. "Gods Die!" The words had been meant admonishing, because Kaoru knew his lover would be seriously sore for the next couple of days, but they came out more pleading as he just needed the other one to move.
Only for a short while, the younger man staid still, trying to force the pain away and get a hold of himself. But he knew it wouldn't succeed without him beginning to move, trying to make pleasure override the pain. As soon as he felt that his muscles had relaxed even a slightest bit he lifted himself up, before slowly moving down again.
The older man's chest was heaving, flashes of pleasure shooting through his whole body, finally shutting down his brains. Instinctively, he grabbed his lover's hips in the attempt to aid, or to guide him, but in reality it only had the effect that his fingernails left small marks on the perfect skin. Die's mouth was hanging open as he desperately tried to gasp for air, waves of pleasure running along his spine and seeping into every molecule of his being. He had found the exactly right angle to move down on, and only kept torturing them both as he kept his pace slow. It was a sweet torment though, something a part of him would've wanted to last forever.
The sound of heavy respiration and moans, of skin meeting skin was filling the air, boosting Kaoru's libido. He enjoyed the slow pace, how he clearly felt every inch of himself sliding in and out of his lover. It was torture, yes, caused sweat to rise on his forehead and his upper lip, made shivers run down his spine and him tighten the hold on the other man's hips subconsciously. Yet, it was heaven at the same time.
Neither of them knew how much time had passed when the younger man finally began to pick up the pace in the desperate need of release. He was panting harshly, his brains shut down the longest and he knew he wouldn't be able to take this kind of intensity for long without losing his mind. He couldn't prevent audible groans falling from him as he began to move quicker, stars flashing in front of his eyes every time he sat down.
Naturally, without thinking about it, Kaoru brought one hand to his lover's arousal, stroking him according to the pace. Every time he was buried fully in the other man, he let his thumb brush across the moist tip to intensify the sensations for Die. He himself was already teetering on the edge, panting with sweat running down his temples, soaking his hair.
And although he knew the feeling, knew what to expect, the force of his orgasm, this wave of utmost bliss which was collapsing over him, always managed to take him by surprise. It was something one always tried to memorize, but never achieved. He was moaning, his hips desperately trying to arch off the mattress as he came, totally overridden by pleasure.
It didn't take long, only a split second before the younger man followed his lover, throwing his head backwards as the climax hit him with a feral scream tearing its way from his throat. His world only consisted of feeling for those few blissful moments, pleasure drowning out everything else from his mind.
Limply, Kaoru fell back into the cushions, one hand still holding his lover's arousal while the other rested on his hips. He was spent and yet felt high, a moronic smile dancing on his lips. As soon as he had caught his breath enough, he spoke up. "So that was your clever plan."
"Yep. Did it work?" Die had to chuckle, practically falling forward until he was resting on the other man.
Instantly, the older man wrapped his arms around him, softly caressing the damp skin on his back. "I think it worked quite well. What would you say?"
"I say I won't walk tomorrow." The younger one laughed, still somewhat out of breath.
"I say it's your own fault and you will still have to. I won't carry you to work." In his mind's eye, Kaoru already heard the other bandmates joke about Die's funny way to walk, heard their dirty comments.
"You won't even carry me?" Theatrically, Die pouted, pushing his bottom lip forward and made a sad puppy dog face. "You're cruel."
The reaction made Kaoru chuckle and catch that sweet lower lip between his teeth, tugging it. "Am not cruel. But who can fuck himself without prepping and lube can also walk and work."
"I still say you're cruel!" That was at least what the redhead was trying to say, although the words sounded totally weird without him being able to use his bottom lip.
"Maybe I will carry you from the car to the studio," Kaoru joked after releasing his lover again. "But I will demand some kind of payment for that," he added with a wink.
"Payment? Just name your prize." Die laughed, completely sure that his lover would never carry him, especially not in public.
"Well, I would have to think about that," the older man answered chuckling. "Maybe a good blowjob during our lunchbreak?" He didn't intend to carry his lover, but if Die set out to it, he would even do that.
"That doesn't sound bad..." The younger man frowned thoughtfully.
"As a starter," Kaoru hurried to add, a huge smirk spreading on his lips.
"And what after that then?"
"Let's say you have to serve me breakfast in bed next weekend too and do me at least one morning before work!" The older guitarist knew that his lover didn't fancy having a shag before work. It wasn't that he would be against it generally, it was just that he hated waking up earlier than he would have to.
"Serve breakfast in bed AND the shag?" Die didn't sound that pleased with it. "Come on, carrying me shouldn't be that big of a deal. You should do it with joy and pride!"
"It's not easy to look proud with a huge redhead on your back," Kaoru reminded snickering, but then sighed. "Okay, you can choose; the blowjob and either the morning-shag or the breakfast in bed."
"You can carry me bride-style too." The redhead winked instantly. "Wouldn't that be cool!"
"Yeah, totally cool." Somehow the statement sounded sarcastic. "And afterwards I would need a physical therapy because of my hurt back."
"I'm not that heavy." Die sounded completely hurt, managing to create a totally believable frown.
"No, but I'm weak and you still weigh too much for me to carry you all the way from the car to the studio," Kaoru remarked, ignoring his lover's expression.
"You should be able to do it. Don't they say that love makes you conquer everything?"
Defeated, the older man released a huge sigh, but grinned suspiciously at a moment's notice. "Okay, I will carry you bride-style. And I only have one condition."
"Which is?"
"You wear a dress."
"A dress?"
"Yupp!" Kaoru knew that his lover would never do that and so he would never have to carry him and it was still the other's fault. At least this was the way his thoughts were heading.
"What kind of dress? You mean a wedding-dress or one of those freaky outfits we used to wear?" Die looked at the other questioningly.
"No no," the older shook his head, "not one of those outfits, but not necessarily a wedding dress either. A real dress, a girl's dress." He grinned, although his lover's question already made him fear that he was really considering that matter.
"Alright." The redhead didn't want to lose, his stubbornness being enough and he grinned at his lover. "Get me a dress and I'll wear it." He was pretty sure Kaoru wouldn't go for it in the end.
This time, he was wrong since the older guitarist relied that his lover would back off at the last moment. "Deal." He nodded and instead of sealing this with a handshake, he stretched his neck to give the other one a kiss. "Will I still get my blowjob during the break?" he asked after they had parted, sounding like a little boy talking to his parents.
"You will." Die chuckled, pecking his lover's lips again. "It's a promise."
"Good." Contently, the older man dropped back into the cushions. "You're too good to me. But does it mean I have to really buy you a dress?"
"If you want me to wear it, how else? I don't have one." The younger man grinned. Carefully he lifted himself off the other, only to snuggle up close to him again.
Kaoru fumbled for the blanket which had almost slipped off the bed. He caught a corner though and finally spread it over them. "Well, but how shall I know your size and if it fits you?" he asked, his sparkling eyes giving away that he was joking. "And I would have to get it before work tomorrow." His eyes had caught the clock on the nightstand and he added. "Correction to that. Today."
"But it was you who wanted me to wear a dress. So you will just have to figure something out. I'll expect you to carry me anyways," Die informed, sneaking his arms around the other man's waist and resting his head against his shoulder contently.
"What? The dress is a condition for carrying you." The older guitarist reminded, but there was a smile on his face. He was still sure that his lover would back off the last second, dress or not.
"No, it's not. You promised to carry me and if you won't I'll put you through a long celibacy. It's your own fault if you can't find a suitable dress."
"Hey, that's not fair. You just twist everything how you want it." Kaoru pursed his lips. "You wouldn't dare to put me on a long dry-spell," he stated convinced, but added a bit insecure. "Would you?"
"If you don't keep your promises, I might." Die managed to look completely serious, although he wasn't sure if he could do that even if he wanted to.
"But I only promised to carry you bride-style if you wear a dress. So getting the dress is kinda your duty."
"It's not. Don't you even try that!"
"Of course it is," the older man argued. But no matter if he thought he was right, he knew that his lover would have it his way in the end.
"No it isn't. I promised to wear a dress IF you get me one. And you sealed the deal." Die nodded convincedly.
"Can't we get back to the piggy back and the breakfast in bed?" Kaoru asked hopeful.
"No."
"You know," Kaoru smirked, "I should fuck you again right now to make it all worth it."
"Go ahead." Die chuckled. "But then you'll carry me all day tomorrow."
"You can sit on the couch and we bring you your guitar if needed." The older man presented his perfect solution. "So I'd only have to carry you from here to the car and then to the studio and back."
"Yeah, plus to get some food in between and to the toilet if I need to go." The younger man added.
"That's no problem." Kaoru answered self-confidently. "But you could stand on your own in front of the urinal, right? Or would you need help there too?"
"I could stand." Die laughed, playfully hitting the other's shoulder. "I wouldn't be a complete invalid."
"You can't know that." The other man smirked.
"Why's that? Are you bragging with your abilities now?"
"Maybe..."
"You're not that good."
"Hey!" The comment earned Die a playful slap on the head. "You're supposed to praise my abilities right now to make me feel good."
"Aw, sorry." The answer came with a happy chuckle. "Of course you're able. Very able."
"And if you want to screw me till I can't walk anymore, you could surely do that," Kaoru added, looking serious.
"Yeah, you could, if you spent the whole night with it and really set out to it. Maybe."
"If you go on like that, I might fall for putting YOU through a long time-span of celibacy."
"You wouldn't do that." Die took on the most perfect innocent and pleading look.
"One can't know that." Kaoru answered, but had to bite back the grin which was persistently trying to break free on his lips.
"Aw, but I wasn't trying to be mean! I just tried to tell you you always brag and never really walk the talk." It wasn't even true, but the younger man was somehow all too hyperactive to stop the teasing.
"I never walk the talk?" The older guitarist knitted his eyebrows and tried to give the other man a glare. "Be careful what you're saying, young man. You're practically begging for proof here."
"I know I am."
"Did I ever tell you throughout our long years together that you're impossible?"
"About every other day."
That made Kaoru smile and shake his head. He was still pinned down underneath the other man and suddenly, parted his thighs a bit, just to tease him. "You know, you really have a way to make me forget that we have to work tomorrow."
"I am trying hard here, don't you see?" Lazily the younger man turned his head to take a glance at the other, grinning. "I'm feeling far too energetic to sleep yet."
"You do?" The older smirked, parting his thighs further until the lower half of his lover's body slipped between them. "Then why don't you do anything clever to channel the energy?" he purred lowly.
"If you're trying to make me screw you so that you can wriggle out of the carrying, forget it." Die gave the other man a warning glance.
"Why not? I promise I won't whine. After all," Kaoru grinned, "I'm not as much of a sissy as you are."
"You promise things now, but in the morning you will definitely use it as an excuse not to carry me after all."
"C'mon," the older guitarist purred, "admit that you would love to take me." He put his palms on his lover's butt, pressing him down while moving his hips upwards slightly. "That you would like to feel all of me, the heat, the tightness, this incredible friction," he added lowly.
"Kaoru!" Die quickly moved his hands to cover his ears, trying not to listen to the other man to gain control over himself again.
The reaction made Kaoru laugh and still he was determined to make his lover snap. Initially, he would've probably gone for another short shag before finally getting to sleep, but now he was too restless to think of that. "I know you can still hear me and very well feel me pinned down underneath you, our bodies moved by each other's breath, your cock rubbing against mine," he went on unperturbed.
The younger man started a low hum, ignored his lover's words completely and pretended he didn't hear a thing. This time, the older guitarist managed to hold back his laughter since his lover was acting like a stubborn child. But he could be just as stubborn and maybe even more childish. Quickly, he wrapped his legs around the other man, hooking them behind his back. In doing so, he grinded against Die and purposefully began to moan; fist only low and quiet, until he allowed the sounds to grow louder, his chest rising and sinking rapidly as if he was having the time of his life.
The younger man seemed to panic, and quickly tried to break free from the grasp of the legs. He even managed it, but not without using his hands which left him completely unsheltered to the sounds. Inching a bit away from his lover, he glared at him sulking, as he had to admit that Kaoru was good, knew how to make him give in. "You play dirty..."
"Yeah," Kaoru admitted freewillingly, his face bearing almost the same expression as when they made love to each other; but only almost. Suddenly, he groaned out loud once, not completely able to hide his grin. Since the other man had left him, he brought his right hand straight to his length, tentatively beginning to pleasure himself while sounds of delight left his lips constantly.
Die pouted seriously for a moment, just trying to come up with something so that he wouldn't have to really give in. The temptation was too big though, and he couldn't just stay put and watch. Silently he slid closer, until he was lying beside the other man, reaching out his hand and lacing their fingers together around his lover's hardness.
It caused the older man to tilt his head a bit and to look at him straight. Stretching his neck, he caught his lips in a slow kiss which suited the pace of their movements on his arousal. A part of him knew that Die had gone for it because he still didn't want to give in, but another part was sure that he would have to soon.
Die replied to the kiss, practically devouring the other man's mouth while quickening the pace with which their hands were moving. He loved the way the smaller man's form was trembling slightly, pleasure clearly written on his features. The kiss bereaved Kaoru of the bit breath he had left, but he didn't even notice. Pleasure was rising quickly as heat spread from the lower part of his body all over his being. It was Die, who chose the pace, Die who decided the pressure with which their combined hands were gripping his length, not him. He had surrendered to the sensations some time ago already, allowing his lover to take over control.
Even if the redhead had intended to go for something else eventually, he was simply too hypnotized by the older man to do so anymore. As they broke the kiss for air, he began to nibble on his lover's neck, scraping his teeth along the soft skin while intensifying the ministrations coevally. A palpable shudder ran through the older man's body, voiced by a low moan. He tilted his head, offering his lover more skin to work, his hips jerking up, desperate for more friction. Kaoru tried to get a grip on himself, wanted to tell the other to still nail him, but the feelings he was going through right at that moment were too alluring, too good to let go of them.
Determinedly the younger man wanted to bring his lover over the edge, and simply set out to do that as best as he could. He enjoyed every single reaction he got, every shudder, every sound and every movement. Panting, Kaoru closed his eyes, subconsciously spreading his legs a bit further as if this would take some of the pressure away which had been building up for some time now. Stars were dancing before his closed eyes already and it only took a few more strokes, before his body tensed noticeably. A split second later, the orgasm hit him, his release flowing out of him in short spurts as well as a relieved sigh.
He was almost instantly rewarded with a soft kiss, as the redhead pulled him closer into a warm embrace. Moments like these were precious, because he simply enjoyed holding the other man, knowing how good he felt. It was mirrored in Kaoru's faint smile. His eyes were still closed and he needed a moment to catch his breath, leaning heavily against his lover. "Thank you," he whispered. "Although I should slap you for being so stubborn."
"No, you shouldn't." Die chuckled, pressing a bunch of soft kisses along his jawline. "Besides, you enjoyed that far too much to be mad at me."
"True." The older man smiled. The bliss hadn't left him completely yet and his heart was still beating quicker than usual. "But it was you who said he's feeling too energetic."
"So?" The younger simply sneaked his arms around Kaoru, pulling him a bit closer and enjoyed the shared warmth.
"So I would've thought you'd channel this energy by screwing me blind," Kaoru gave away, pillowing his head on his lover's chest. He was way too comfortable to leave the other man right now and get cleaned up.
"You know, if it hadn't meant giving in, I would've probably done just that." Die had to laugh at his own behaviour, but he was way too happy to care. "I don't mind though. I can still do that tomorrow."
"So jerking me off has calmed you down?" the older man asked disbelieving. "Too bad."
"Whaddya mean 'too bad'?" The younger man laughed again. "Aren't you content enough to sleep already?"
"I think I could try to sleep," came the vague answer. Luckily, the redhead couldn't see his lover's smirk as he was pressing his face against the warm skin of his chest.
"Alright." Die was still chuckling a bit, but just pulled the other man as close as possible and relaxed, intending on getting some rest as well.
They didn't have long anymore before they would have to get up again. Inwardly, Kaoru couldn't help but to think that, when they had been younger, they would've done it all night, considering the mood in which they were. But now they both knew how to value even a few hours of sleep, along with some cuddling.
Die had always been one to fall asleep easily so it only took a few moments before he was already drifting off to sleep, despite the fact that he had been somewhat restless just a while ago. But the other man's presence alone made him relax contently. Kaoru was listening to the younger man's steady respiration, his heartbeat slowly lulling him to sleep after some time. At nights like these, when they were holding onto each other tightly, practically not moving at all, he always slept best.
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How long is the long story? the one you mentioned before? If so I still want it :P
hahaha I still need to read your fics, I wont have much time though (got the job, YAY) so anyways....
Well yeah it is a good thing to talk about but I thought it was so cute to read I felt tears appearing. xD I'm so emotional sometimes.
btw my DiexKao fic should be ready soonish I've been in a writing mood, but my pc hates me and wont work properly and the laptop doesnt have word for some odd reason. ><'' so I cant write it atm
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How long is the long story?
More than 3000 pages in Word. So it's LONG. x)
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We have like 325 msn-logs and each log is roughly about 10 pages, more likely a little more. Maybe we once put up parts of it without editing much. We began to write it when fonulyn and I met on lj and in the beginning, it was present tense and a bit ... well, not so eloquent or something. We had to get used to write like that and had get used to write smut together too :D
Congrats to the new job! What is it? Heh, tell me about it, I'm working too...
Believe me, emotionality is a good thing. I can merrily cry over fics when they hit that certain nerve.
That sucks. You should steal Word somewhere *coughslikemecoughs* One has to use the mood when it's there x)
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Ha its office work, as normal but its what I'm good at, its hard to find a job after breaking your hand but I wont go into that. Basically I'm talking on the phone and inputing machine movements.....I work for the people that hand out pooltables and fruitmachines to pubs and stuff :D
Hehe I have to hold it in when people are around me, they call me silly otherwise. With one of my fics I cried writing it! Yeah sad >.>
Hehe I have microsoft works...but I doubt it'll open my word doc. I WILL get this part done and post it :D then you can laugh at my attempt xDD
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Well, but it's a job and pays your bills. Mine is like that too, but I'm glad about it since I have some really cool colleagues who are the reason why I'm still working for that company. We rent cars x)
Oh yeah, I cried much while writing fics. Did you read our vampire fic? In the end, I cried so much that it wasn't normal. but eh, those are good tears x)
It should open word. Try it!
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Yeah I'll get like...£500 after tax per month so I'm happy xD I should go to bed seen as I start at 9.30 its now 10.50pm :P
Yeah i red that one, I cried too I think...and told you. I'll have to look for it again.
I shall try let ya know if it opens xD
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Haha, I never go to bed before migdnight, although I have to get up at 5am sometimes. Well, lately I've been more tired, but tomorrow, I can sleep longer as I have late shift:D
Dear, now that I have you here, would you do me a favor? there's this one mag (I need to find the name) which has an interview and really nice pics of Diru, but I can't get it here in Hamburg. I would love to transfer you the money if you could buy and send it for me (3 issues *lol). Do you think that's manageable? You have a bank-account, right? I assume you can't use paypal though ne?
Heh, I copied all my fav fics from others and have them on my puter. There are some, I read like a dozen of times and still don't get tired of.
Do it^^
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I have a strange sleeping pattern. I will sleep when I think I should lmao.
Eh...ok when I read it I felt odd. No-one has asked me that lmao. I have no card on my paypal, I've gotta put it back on, I mean I hadnt used it for a while so it took it off. ><'' I'll let you know when I get up and running again. Which mag is it? I'll have to see if we sell it first or do you know we sell it? :p Some mags we can only buy in certain shops too. If you want I'll see if I can find them, if they are there I'll pay for them then we'll exchange when I have them :P sound good?
I havent saved any due to it not being my pc. The boyf would kill me, he hates that I have over 600 diru pics *coughmostlyKyocough* I sound like a stalker xD plus all my music that I saved....he gets angry when it runs slower than it should
Ok when I transfered it from my pc to this pc it went spiffy, my friend converted it so its now in wordpad ><'' I HATE wordpad my grammar sucks and it has no grammar checker. so I can work on it now at least.
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But it's good if you can sleep when you should. I can't. I have a very weird sleeping rhythm and am a night person usually (but I should go to bed soon too)
Aw, I'm sorry. I didn't meen to make you feel odd. It's only that this mag is released in the UK and I think I can't get it here *sighs*. We only have SOME international mags. I will call the store tomorrow and ask if they have it (as soon as oemmelchen told me the name again, 'cause I forgot) XD. But that sounds like a deal! And if I ever can get you anything from here, just tell me!
Haha, how good that I have my own puter. Well,
I know. I hate wordpad too. But you can easily open it on Word again later and use the grammar control^^
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Countess_Miyu wouldn't go to bed unlesss I did last night, she didnt trust me xD I have a habit of going "yeah in a sec" and that second turns into an hour....she has school so I had to go T__T its wh I didnt reply sooner. damn her :p
Nah its alright, its just no-one has ever asked me that. xD Problem....paypal refused my card well it says my bank refused iy. Its what you get when you dont have any mone in it. I'll get it sorted ASAP I'll ask the boyf to buy them if I see it :D we have Kerrang (I THINK Diru are in it. I voted more than once xD)
Well my fics are on both pcs, his pc and this laptop, which is actually his friends. I have a total of 280 of Kyo. (is a Kyo whore/stalker you pick what I am :p) Eah he knows what I read and write. He is mean about it most of the time. Like I asked him for a title to my DiexKao fic.....NOT helpful.He said mean things T__T his friend is worse. I HATE him. lol I was reading a yaoi novel "Ai no Kusabi" and I was smiling cos...yeah and he was like "what you readig?" "Ai no Kusabi" "no what IS it?" "yaoi" "What?" "Guy on guy" "urgh keep THAT to yourself. that fucking disgusting keep it away from me, I'll never read it" RAWR I never said I was gunna give it to him ><''' *punches sofa* he frustrates me....
Andy(boyf) has read one of my stories. He said it was ok but that was when I wrote on fanfiction and didnt write what I do now *cough* I really should keep my fics locked away....my DAD has read one ><'' I stayed at parents house cos I had an asthma attack and wasnt well for a few days, so I saved a fic on his pc. It ws labled with my name...why open it? THEN he quoted!!! I was like O_O not happy...
If I can keep the laptop tonight I'll write more...even if I dont I'll write more lmao its on both pcs now. :P I'm that close I'm desperate for a title *hates posting it without a title* I'll use my time at work to think of one xD
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I know how that is. I mean that you say you wanna go to bed and still kinda 'forget' it or simply don't want to although you should.
Is there some Diru in Kerrang? If it's a lot, you could get me one too. Honestly, I don't really know which mag it is. There's the picture of the interview: http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b398/Sangha1211/diru/direngreydoublespread.jpg But when I searched "Alternative mag & co.Uk", I didn't find anything *sighs* It would be so friggin' cool to get it. And if you could buy me 3 issues... Damn, I wished I could do something for you in return. You have all their concerts and DVDs and stuff? Or want anything else by another band??
Haha, but that's so typical for guys. They can't believe that girls like guy on guy action while they themselves are totally hyper about girl on girl stuff XD It's really just normal. They are afraid, somebody could want to get their butts^^ And I like reading yaoi novels too and just bought me a stach of yaoi mangas (one needs something when the comp's off ne?)
Ohoh, your DAD read one? Gosh, he quoted? I would move to another country and change my name probably...
Haha, just steal the pcs. You need them!
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I forget to eat most times. I nearly burnt my food reading your update xD that a point...best eat soon.
Oh my Kyo...I LOVe them in that pic, I must have it...*ahem* looks like Metal Hammer. I'll have a look. You can only get Metal Hammer in ASDA I think...if its not that I'll look through EVERY metal mag...I will find it. *stares again*
No I dont own anything of diru...well maybe a few Mp3s and a pic of Kyo in my bag xD shhhh he might hurt me *hides* but I wish I did but I'm not stalker enough xD
I only have Ai no Kusabi, thats not even on sale yet...I dont think. I need more.
thing is, this guy claims to not like porn...of any sot, doesnt like men, doesnt like girl on girl, and doesnt like boobs and my friend thinks he doesnt jackoff. ><'' I dont know whats wrong with him...
Yeah he "helped" me write a bit of it. I was stuck on a bit and he told me what I should do with it, then he quoted something. Which kinda saved me, I was kinda confusing myself (I had forgotten what I put lol) I was like O_O you read it....? I wasnt happy.
The lappy is staying here I think. But I'm writing my GacktxKami fic atm...don't ask it was a request. Its killing me (Kami thing) but yeah...I'm doing it.
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That's not good. You need to eat x)
Haha, we always say oh my Gackt x) I love the pic too, that's why I really wanna have the mag. Hmm, but it's not in the recent Metal Hammer. That's this one: http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b393/seinen_no/metalhammer.jpg I have it and there's ONLY a poster inside. A very very nice one, but still only a poster x)
Haha, would you want me to send you some dvds? You don't own all their albums? I could ul you if you wanna...
I have "don't worry mama" and despite the sometimes horrible English, it was kinda sweet (odd too, but mostly sweet). And if you go for Yaoi manga, I have a friggin hell lot on my comp (in english) and could ul them for you *lol But beware, some of my favs are really really explicit x)
Gosh, maybe he should become a priest? C'mon, everybody jerks off *shakes head* Or then, he might be a late bloomer? Or is into very kinky things x)
*lol, I could never imagine my dad to help me with my fics XD Luckily, his English isn't good enough to ever read them and
GacktxKami? Who's Kami? God? *lol
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Only? Don't you complain, I've seen a grand total of TWO pictures of them EVER in Finnish magazines, and out of those two pictures the other one was utterly crappy even! I can't even DREAM of any posters here x)
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Don't have a crisis hun! If there's really important mags coming out here, I will buy them for you too; really.
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Well I'm not smart enough to do that xD It take too long. Kami is...was the drummer of Malice Mizer. He died a few month after Gackt left ><'' *shuts up* They were REALLY close freinds. Gackt didnt go to his funeral, not being able to get their being on tour and everything. T__T I'll shush now. lol
I own a few MP3s, mix and match really. I dont mind if you send me anything, depends if I can find the mag :P ooooooh Can I have Kyo wrapped up in a box and is hot and sweaty? Please? I'd love you loads if you got me that, I'd hunt you down and...stuff xD
Ooooh Yaoi manga I dont have. there is one I've been meaning to find its called "Perfect Match" its more sweetness, but I wouldnt mind other stuff....
I dont get the guy either, my friend says he thinks he has groinrot xD he is so mean...
My dad hasnt touched my stuff since xD the other day Countess_Miyu sent me some Malice Mizer and he was like "thats not more sex stories is it?" My mum looked at me weird xD I dont think she knew
Btw I've eaten xD I have a cup of tea and cookies now :P
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Ah, damn, the drummer who died. I should've known, but I kinda forgot since I'm not THAT interested in Malice Mizer, more in Gackt.
Okay, I will upload you some stuff and then send you some concerts on DVD. You should go to
Haha, a piece of cake. I will upload you my fav ones and if you like them, I can ul you more. I just bought myself some 'real' ones. What can I say? I'm an addict.
'Groinrot'? I have to remember that word x)
*lol .. Parents can be so embarrassing ne?
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Yeah he did. I LOVE Malice Mizer Gackt. The new Gackt...not my thing :P I dunno I went off him, great voice...just dont like him xD I love all of Malice M
Yeah he did. I LOVE Malice Mizer Gackt. The new Gackt...not my thing :P I dunno I went off him, great voice...just dont like him xD I love all of Malice M<izer though Gackt era and Klaha (hasnt heard tetsu)
I sent myself the wrong version of my DiexKao fic, so I'm not happy. I'll get my friend to convert it :P
Aww thank you ^___^ When I get time (like weekend or something)_I'll take a trip to ASDA. Oh I need to give Miyu something anyways she is like..on the way there XD I will look through EVERY mag till I find what you want. :D
I need yaoi manga, I have none, I only own 12 fruits basket. I really need to catch up ._. Oh miyu sent me a link to a yaoi manga...must go download it xD its sat on my faves list. Hope the boyf doesnt click it :P be funny if he did.
Thats something. Andy(boyf) said something mean. I said "the person that wants me to send the mags asked if I wanted anything Dir en Grey. ^___^" "If you get any worse I dont think I could live with you." :( how mean. lol tbph if I had the money I'd do what you do and stalk them xD Dont deny it.
"Groinrot" is amusing. He says it because he thinks the guy doesnt jackoff or anything xD we also found it funny when he said "I cant get wood" HAHAHAHAHA we was talking about LOTRO xD so mean.
Yes parents are very embarrassing. ><''
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