rabenhorst (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rabenhorst) wrote2007-11-11 09:15 pm
rabenhorst) wrote2007-11-11 09:15 pm
(no subject)
Title: First Love, Last Love; Chapter 11
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
seinen_no and fonulyn
Rating: NC17 overall
Pairing: Die and Kaoru
Disclaimer: We own no one, only our dirty imaginations.
Summary: When Kaoru and his wife get a divorce, he is forced to leave his little daughter to live with her mother when he’s moving out. He finds support in his best friend, but is friendship everything life has in store for them? Or is their past together going to resurface now that Kaoru’s life has been turned upside down?[yes, I am aware that sounds like an ad for a b-class soap opera XD]
Comments:
seinen_no: Hey ladies! We're back! Sorry that we took so long with this update, but fonulyn was seeing Diru in Helsinki and I was at the shows in Amsterdam and Pratteln. So not much internet-time in between. I hope everybody who was at one of their shows had fun and everybody who wasn't can be consoled a bit with the next chapter of our story.
I won't say anything about it but that it made me sigh 'cause they are somewhat too perfect x)
Have fun and big hugs to you all!
fonulyn: babbaaahahaaba… Yes. That’s my comment. I’ll lock the answer. *coughs* Yes, anyways XD I hope that you will enjoy this chapter too! I personally love how they’re so deeply attached to each other, this certain kind of deepness in their relationship that only years being together can bring. Enjoy ;)
And feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive.
Previously happened: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9 , Part 10
First Love, Last Love
Chapter 11
Kaoru still took care of the band and everything that had to do with it. Of course the others had their fair share of the work as well, but they mostly relied on him telling them what to do. But when it came to have meetings with the record executives, with their management and such to discuss business, it was mostly the lead-guitarist who attended them. And he did it gladly. But it meant that he sometimes had to work while Die had a day off.
Sometimes, the redhead used the time alone by meeting friends, going shopping or just lying on the couch, playing videogames. This day was one of those. It was raining heavily outside and Die didn't feel like going anywhere. He knew that Kaoru would be gone till late afternoon and thus had bought a new videogame to play. Just when he had started it, Mika came out of her room and plopped down next to him. She was smiling, although one could see that there was something bothering her.
For a while Die simply went on playing the game, waiting if she would tell him what was bothering her. But as she remained silent for a long while, he was beginning to get suspicious. Finally, he paused the game and turned to look at her inquiringly. "Weren't you supposed to go shopping with your friends? Or did you change your plans?"
"We delayed it," she answered, toying with the hem of her shirt. Suddenly, she looked up. "Die, I have to tell you something and I need your advice. But first, you HAVE to promise me that you won't tell dad. I really mean it."
The redhead hesitated a bit, chewing on his lower lip and just examined her features like trying to read her thoughts. Finally he sighed though. "You'd better have a good reason why not then... You know we don't keep secrets from each other. But if it's important to you, I won't say anything to him."
"It is important." She nodded, took a deep breath and turned a bit to have a better view on him. "See, it's about Sho... He, well, I...." she babbled incoherently and finally dug out a small item which looked like a thermometer. "It's pink."
"Pink?" For a while Die stared at the item, completely dumbfounded before his mind was beginning to work and he realized what he was looking at. But it couldn't be really true! He turned to look her in the eye, not able to stay as calm and casual as he would've wanted to. "You are..? You mean that? I mean, you can't... it's not, well, you..?"
"Remember that I had diarrhoea that other weekend? I think it... you know, it must have affected the pill." Mika looked quite desperate. "I didn't think it would, but then, I didn't get my period and I bought this test. Die," she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder, "I'm pregnant. What shall I do now?"
"Oh gosh." Die automatically wrapped his arms around her, trying to process the information. He had no idea what he should instruct the girl to do, didn't know if he should tell her to get rid of the child or keep it. "Did you talk with Sho about it?" He finally got out the question.
"Hell no!" Mika shook her head frantically. "I can't. I have no idea how he will react and I first want to get my own emotions straight and see what I want to do." Although she was agitated, she still seemed to be reasonable, trying to sort her thoughts. "What would you do?"
"If I was pregnant? I mean, well you know what I mean." The redhead smiled faintly. "I don't know. It all depends on if you want to have the child or not. Do you think you'd be able to take care of it? You still are a child yourself too..."
"Die!!" The girl's tone was admonishing. "That's not what I want to hear right now. How should I know if I can bring up a child? I have no idea. I want to study and work, but I want a family once. And what if Sho just leaves me alone with everything? How should I work this out on my own?"
"That's why I asked if you told him." Die looked at her seriously. "If he is willing to stand by you, and you want to have the child, it'll all be easier. But if he doesn't want it... well, it leaves you with the decision."
That still wasn't what Mika had wanted to hear when she had come to talk to the redhead and one could see it very well in the look on her face. "Wouldn't that be the point where you tell me that, no matter how I decide, I won't be alone. That you will help me?" There were tears shimmering in those dark brown depths. "I don't want to decide." Suddenly, she seemed to have an idea. "Can't you be there too when I tell Sho?"
"Of course you won't be alone, don't worry. But I would want you to make your own decisions, and don't do it based on what you think someone else wants. Even if we don't at first like your decision, you'll get full support, I promise." Die smiled at her honestly. "And I can be there when you tell him if you want me to. Although I don't know him really, and if he's not nice to you I will definitely kill him." He chuckled, hugging her a bit tighter.
The last sentence caused Mika to chuckle a bit, but then she nodded. "I will have to make up my mind and then tell Sho. Remember," she looked Die straight in the eyes, "don't tell dad. Maybe he won't have to know at all. He'll drop dead and become furious."
"Mika... You will need to tell Kao eventually. He's your father." The redhead tried to reason with her, but as he saw her frown he hurried to add to calm her down. "I won't tell him, I promised. But I still think you should talk to him."
"I won't have to tell him if I decide against the child," she pointed out. "And even if I decide for it, he doesn't have to know. I will tell him when the child's going to university." Although she was joking, it was clear that she was determined to hide this information from her father as long as possible.
"Kao's not dumb, you know, it's not going to be easy to hide it from him for long." Absent mindedly Die stroke the girl's back in a soothing manner. "Not even if I cover for you."
"I just really need to talk to Sho before I think about telling dad. Otherwise, the old man will surely kill him," Mika explained quietly. She had no idea how things were supposed to work out and she was afraid of what was to come.
"Just tell me if you need me for anything." The redhead tried to look her in the eye honestly. "I'm sorry I'm not more useful, but you have to figure out what it is that you want..."
"You think I could be a mom?" The girl asked seriously. She appreciated the redhead's help and trusted his judgement although he seemed a bit overextended with the information he had just gotten. She hadn't fully comprehended it herself even.
"You could." Die answered honestly, after thinking for a moment. "If you set out to it, and take it seriously you would make a better mom than many people I know. But it would mean a lot of responsibility too, and giving up many things girls at your age usually have."
"I know." Again, Mika nodded sighing. "But I don't think I could just kill it. I love him, you know and I believe he'll stand by me."
"Then give him a chance to prove it and tell him." The redhead smiled slightly.
"I will." Determined, the girl stood up after pecking Die's cheek. "And I think I will do it alone. After all, it's my fault and I have to account for that fact, right?"
"You're a brave girl." His smile widened a bit. "Just let me know what he said then, alright? And please, consider telling Kao about it too."
"I will. Now gimme that back," she pointed at the pregnancy test. "And better wash your hands." She grinned. "I mean... you know how those work."
"Oh, right." Die handed her the item back, getting on his feet as well. "And I hope that the talk helped at least a bit. At least you got it out..."
"Yeah. And I will think about everything you said. Thank you Die. For being there." She smiled and then went back to her room. After a while, one could hear her talk agitated to somebody on the phone and Die assumed that the person at the other end of the line was probably Sho.
He was utterly worried about the girl, hoping that things would turn out well. The biggest part of him just wanted to call the older guitarist instantly and tell him everything, he felt completely overextended as he was the only adult Mika had informed. But he had promised not to say anything, and just tried to get a hold of himself not to look suspicious when his lover would come home.
Kaoru, however, didn't notice anything and even through the next couple of days, Die managed not to spill the beans. Still, there were awkward moments when the older guitarist sensed something weird, but didn't know what it was. Like this one morning, Die was stirring some eggs in a pan and Mika sat at the table. Kaoru entered the room, smiling and silently pecked his lover's cheek, sneaking a peek at what he was doing.
Die instead exchanged a short glance with Mika. "Something wrong?" Kaoru asked, chuckling a bit. "You two look like you're having secrets." Of course he only meant it as a joke, but he couldn't have known what the comment triggered inside his daughter and lover.
Die was beginning to be more and more disturbed by the fact that he wasn't allowed to tell anything about it to his lover though. They usually shared practically everything, talking about whatever crossed their minds, and several times he was just about to say something suspicious before he caught himself just in time. At first, he had been determined to give Mika time, not wanting to pressure her into anything, but it began to bother him enough so that he mentioned it to her a few times vaguely, trying to make her see it would be the best if they told Kaoru about it.
Still, the girl refused. She had sorted things out together with Sho, her boyfriend. The two had decided to keep the child and right now and were busy figuring out how things should work. Mika wanted to wait with telling her father until she had a solution to everything, so that he couldn't be angry at her anymore. She would've probably told him already, but with the time passing, she ran out of arguments why she had waited so long in the first place.
The situation was beginning to take its toll on Die, and he seriously considered even telling Kaoru himself about the situation. But he had promised Mika not to, and he couldn't just forget it like that. But every time they ran into a slightly uncomfortable situation, and Kaoru looked at him inquiringly, it was beginning to be harder to come up with believable explanations. One day, Die was even frustrated enough to snap at her about it when Kaoru was out buying groceries. "Can't you finally tell your father about it? Hell, the child will be born before you even address the topic!"
"I wanted to. A dozen times," Mika defended herself. "But then I am too afraid of his reaction. Gosh, I should've told him straight away. Now it's even harder."
"If you won't tell him soon, I will." Die ran his fingers through his hair frustrated, not sure if he meant the words seriously or not. "I can't just come up with more excuses…"
"Please Die, don't. I will tell him soon." The girl had promised him that more often already and although she meant it, she never really dared to walk the talk.
"I know I'm not the one with troubles here, but it's not easy on me either anymore." The redhead plopped down to sit on the couch, feeling somehow utterly tired right at that moment. "Just please let him know. He won't kill you or anything."
"Maybe you could carefully talk to him first? I mean like generally addressing the topic or so?" Mika suggested quietly. She didn't want Die to feel bad just because she was too indecisive to do that herself.
"Generally addressing the topic?" Die was practically desperate enough to try anything. "But how!? 'Hey Kao, how would you feel if your daughter would have a child'..?"
"Well, maybe not THAT blunt, but somehow yeah." She nodded, leaning against the kitchen's doorframe. "Maybe you could tell that one of my classmates is pregnant and see how he reacts?"
"He would see right through me." The redhead knew that it was likely to happen, as Kaoru had a freaky ability to tell every time Die was trying to hide something and cover it up by altering the story a bit.
"Then hold out a bit until I find the right moment to address the topic." Mika shrugged. She had no better idea than that, but knew the longer she delayed the talk, the harder it would become.
"I can tell him, if you don't want to." Die looked straight up at her suddenly. "I mean, maybe it would be easier." He shrugged. "He'd yell at me first and then calm down before I let him come talk to you."
"You think so?" The girl arched a questioning eyebrow and after receiving a nod, she went on. "And you would do that for me? You know he'll be mad at you too, right? I wanted to keep you out of that."
"He'll be mad at me anyways." He smiled slightly. "I can take it, he won't be mad forever."
Mika had just opened her mouth to reply something when the door opened and Kaoru came home. "Okay," she just said and quickly went into the hall to put on her shoes and go out. Her father looked surprised. "You're going out?" But he only received a nod before the girl disappeared through the door. "She could've at least helped me carry the bags," Kaoru mentioned, two filled paper bags in each arm.
The redhead got up from his seat, coming closer and taking two of the bags from his lover. "She was in a hurry, I guess." He was nervous now, as he had gotten the permission to tell Kaoru about the pregnancy, and he had no idea how to address the topic.
"She always is. I don't even see her anymore than in the morning when she leaves until the clapping of the door signals that she came home at night again." Kaoru sighed, put his bag on the counter and turned around to face his lover, smiling. "She's growing up too fucking fast," he said winking and gave the other man a peck on the lips.
"Well, yeah, she is. And she has grown a lot, I mean as in becoming more mature." Die began, trying to somehow get the conversation to the right tracks.
"She's still only a teenager with bad hormones," the older guitarist stated convinced and hopped on the counter, beckoning his lover with a crooked index finger. "But at least she gives us more time alone these days."
"Kao, I need to talk to you, seriously." The redhead decided that he would never get it done and over with if he didn't go straight to the point.
Instantly, everything playful vanished from Kaoru's behaviour and his eyes bore a serious expression. "What is it?" he asked shortly, knowing that it probably was something really uncomfortable.
"It's about Mika. You know the guy she's been dating lately, for weeks now?" Die looked his lover in the eye, trying to remain calm and casual.
"No, I don't know him, because she still didn't introduce this ominous Sho to either of us. Or do YOU know him?" The older guitarist arched an eyebrow, examining his lover with a strict expression.
"No, I don't know him. But this has something to do with him too." The younger man's courage faltered, and he had to avert his gaze. "Mika and he... well, they're really serious about each other. And they should be, since…"
At first, Kaoru didn't really get his lover's last sentence and rolled his eyes in an annoyed gesture. "C'mon, they are teenagers. At that age, everybody's the true love." Only after the last word had left his lips, his brains had processed the rest of what Die had said. "They should be? Because...?"
"They're going to be parents." Die almost tripped on his words, just getting them out as fast as he could. This wasn't how he had wanted to tell the older man, but somehow every good plan he had had just vanished from his mind.
"WHAT?" The older guitarist almost slipped off the counter in shock. He turned first pale, then bright red. "That can't be." His voice was louder and one could clearly see that he was angry. "Since when do you know it and why the fuck am I the last one to be informed? How the fuck did that happen?"
"She told me that it was probably because she was sick back then. She took the pill but, well..." The redhead shrugged, trying to keep his voice calm to make the other man calm down too. "She was afraid to tell you, that's why you haven't heard yet."
"You know, that's great. That's really fucking great!" Sarcasm was dripping from those words and Kaoru clenched his hands into fists. "I knew she wasn't old enough. Fuck! I assume she wants to marry this Sho guy, quit school and play happy family from now on, right?"
"She wants to finish school, despite everything. But yeah, she wants to marry him I guess. At least he's willing to be there for her, that's something positive. Come on Kao, there's nothing anyone could've done..."
"I could've locked her up, they could've used a condom on top of it!" The older guitarist barked, seriously angry. "And she could've told me first. C'mon, I'm her father after all. I'm not a monster. I bet Nozomi doesn't know either, does she?" He answered the question himself. "Of course not, 'cause if she would, I had already gotten a dozen of calls where she tells me what a bad father I am and that we handle things too loose here."
"Of course you're not a monster, but she's still afraid. She hadn't sorted out her own thoughts even, and she loves you too much to want you to be angry at her; or disappointed." Die tried to ignore the angry tone of the other's voice, still managing to keep calm himself. "It's simply because you're so important to her that she didn't dare to tell you."
"Of course you meant only to protect me." There was still sarcasm in the older guitarist's voice, but he spoke a bit more quiet, had gotten a grip of himself. "And just because you love me so much, I was passed over and haven't even been asked for MY opinion about this."
"Come on!" The younger man was beginning to get frustrated with the situation. "I PROMISED her not to tell you, I couldn't break that no matter how much I would've wanted to. Besides, it's her life, her decision eventually."
"Of course it's her life, but do you honestly think we won't be involved when she gives birth to that child? Where will she live? Who will take care of the baby once she's getting back to school? Who will pay for everything? Us!" Kaoru growled, not slowing down. "Did she tell you how she imagines it to be? Did you tell her how hard it is to raise a child at her age? That she has to do without many things girls at her age do? And what's with this Sho? How serious is he? If he was, then he would stand in front of my door and tell me."
"She KNOWS how hard it will be to raise a child at her age. I did tell her that again and again, but I don't think I told her anything she didn't know already. And this guy she's with, he has promised to stand by her and at least he's taking responsibility like he should. I'm not exactly happy here either, but we can't change the situation anyways."
"But she's my baby." Kaoru mumbled defiantly, averting his gaze. "And we're too young to become grandparents..."
"She's almost an adult now, Kao." Die's voice softened, although he was still firm. "You need to let her try to build up her own life."
"I will respect that." The older man looked up, straight into his lover's eyes. "But that doesn't mean I have to be happy with her decision. And I don't even know that guy. I know I can trust Mika, but I don't want her to get hurt and end up with a life she doesn't want."
"I know." The redhead smiled. "But she'll be fine. And I'm sure she'll bring her boyfriend to meet us soon now."
"She’d better. I want to meet that guy and this time I won't promise not to scare him." Kaoru folded his arms across his chest, looking like a stubborn child who was about to scream and to cry to get a chocolate bar it wanted.
"You won't at least try to scare him away." Die warned. "Mika still needs him, you know, and the child needs a father."
"Hell no. I won't scare him away. I will just nicely tell him if he ever hurts my daughter, I'll castrate him."
"Well, that you're allowed to do. And I already promised Mika I'd kill him if he ever hurts her."
"I need a drink now. A strong one." Kaoru decided and hopped off the counter, walking straight to the living room to get the bourbon from one of the cupboards. He wasn't mad anymore, but pretty much confused and disappointed that Mika hadn't told him straight away.
For a moment Die staid behind in the kitchen, closing his eyes and just trying to force himself to relax. Kaoru had taken the news better than he had assumed he would, being far calmer already. After a moment he straightened, following the older man, but staying standing near the doorframe.
"Want one too?" the older guitarist asked without even turning around. He had already taken a second glass and was about to pour the bourbon into it. He knew that it wasn't Die's fault, still he felt betrayed by the whole situation.
"Yeah." The redhead nodded, slowly approaching and taking the offered glass instantly.
"I will have to talk to Nozomi," Kaoru said after emptying his drink and pouring a second one. "And believe me, she's going to be less calm than me."
"I know. She'll freak out totally." Die sighed, as he could already see in his mind how his lover's ex-wife would react to this kind of news.
"And she'll blame us. Gosh," the older guitarist sighed, "and that when we're finally getting along well. She'll yell and I can't stand her high-pitched voice in my ears."
"I can come with you if you want me to." The other man offered silently, not completely sure if the older man was still angry at him as well. He had directed his eyes to the floor, only daring to look up as the older man started to speak.
"Are you nuts?" Despite his still angry state of mind, Kaoru had to smile. "She'd rip out your heart and say that YOU managed to destroy her life completely now."
"Yeah, but she would forget to be angry at you." Die had to mirror the smile. "Which would be kinda handy since you two have to still keep in touch since you still have a daughter."
"Who's grown up and soon will have a family of her own. Naaah." Kaoru shook his head and took the other man's hand into his own. "I need you to be alive, that's all."
"You know, I was pretty sure YOU would rip my heart out just a moment ago." Relieved, Die squeezed the other's hand a bit.
"I wasn't far from it." Kaoru admitted, emptied his glass and then dragged his lover to the couch to sit down on it. "But I came to the conclusion that life sucks without you."
"Good. So I'm safe now?" The younger man sat down beside his lover, carefully leaning against him.
"At least for the time being. I can't guarantee for later." The older guitarist joked, sneaking his arm around his lover's waist. "Gods, I would've never imagined that something like this could happen. I still could hit Mika for being this irresponsible."
"I can imagine..." Die had to sigh contently, relaxing slowly into the embrace. "I didn't even believe her at first."
Kaoru laughed out loud. "Well, if she comes with something like that, one just has to believe her. She knows too well to joke about things like that."
"Yeah, I know, in theory." The younger man admitted. "It was still a hard thing to understand." For a while he fell silent, before tilting his head and looking at his lover. "I'm sorry that we kept it from you."
"I know. Well, I know that you are sorry. And somehow I'm okay with it, because you gave your word," the older man gave away a bit more quiet. "But you need to promise me to never keep things like that from me ever again."
"I promise." Die nodded, burying his face into the other man's neck and inhaling his scent deep. "I wouldn't even want to keep anything from you."
"Good. Then we are now waiting for Mika to come home and then have a good talk, all three of us," Kaoru decided and hugged his lover tightly. It turned out that they had to wait for quite some time and when the door opened, they were both fast asleep on the couch. Of course they woke up and they still had that talk till late at night. Mika apologized a thousand times to her father, even cried, but was relieved that he took it rather well. Or then, it was because Die had blocked the first wave of anger himself.
Eventually they ended up hugging each other and Kaoru and Die promised they would be there for Mika come whatever may. And when they finally managed to get to bed that night, they were all totally relieved that all things were finally out in the open, and that no one was mad at anyone anymore. Kaoru demanded to get to meet the father of Mika's child as soon as possible though, and he was still determined to scare the boy a bit to make sure he was good enough for his daughter. Although in his eyes probably no one was good enough for her.
Mika had begged Die to make sure her father would hold back a bit, but she was also confident that Sho didn't mind Kaoru's scaring. She had prepared him mentally. Still, when the boy first reached for Kaoru's hand to shake it, he was obviously nervous. Of course he had known who Mika's father was and he knew Die as well, but that fact didn't manage to calm him down. Despite appearances, the older guitarist had to admit though that the young man his daughter had chosen was nice. He would've never said it out loud though and still had his little chit-chat in private with Sho.
Although Die trusted his lover completely, he had still been somewhat nervous and was glad that Kaoru wasn't too harsh on the poor boy. He seemed to be a good guy from what he had seen, and Mika definitely could've chosen worse. They were all relieved when the day was over though, the awkwardness of the first meeting slowly fading.
Author:
seinen_no and fonulynRating: NC17 overall
Pairing: Die and Kaoru
Disclaimer: We own no one, only our dirty imaginations.
Summary: When Kaoru and his wife get a divorce, he is forced to leave his little daughter to live with her mother when he’s moving out. He finds support in his best friend, but is friendship everything life has in store for them? Or is their past together going to resurface now that Kaoru’s life has been turned upside down?
Comments:
seinen_no: Hey ladies! We're back! Sorry that we took so long with this update, but fonulyn was seeing Diru in Helsinki and I was at the shows in Amsterdam and Pratteln. So not much internet-time in between. I hope everybody who was at one of their shows had fun and everybody who wasn't can be consoled a bit with the next chapter of our story. I won't say anything about it but that it made me sigh 'cause they are somewhat too perfect x)
Have fun and big hugs to you all!
fonulyn: babbaaahahaaba… Yes. That’s my comment. I’ll lock the answer. *coughs* Yes, anyways XD I hope that you will enjoy this chapter too! I personally love how they’re so deeply attached to each other, this certain kind of deepness in their relationship that only years being together can bring. Enjoy ;)And feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive.
Previously happened: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9 , Part 10
Chapter 11
Kaoru still took care of the band and everything that had to do with it. Of course the others had their fair share of the work as well, but they mostly relied on him telling them what to do. But when it came to have meetings with the record executives, with their management and such to discuss business, it was mostly the lead-guitarist who attended them. And he did it gladly. But it meant that he sometimes had to work while Die had a day off.
Sometimes, the redhead used the time alone by meeting friends, going shopping or just lying on the couch, playing videogames. This day was one of those. It was raining heavily outside and Die didn't feel like going anywhere. He knew that Kaoru would be gone till late afternoon and thus had bought a new videogame to play. Just when he had started it, Mika came out of her room and plopped down next to him. She was smiling, although one could see that there was something bothering her.
For a while Die simply went on playing the game, waiting if she would tell him what was bothering her. But as she remained silent for a long while, he was beginning to get suspicious. Finally, he paused the game and turned to look at her inquiringly. "Weren't you supposed to go shopping with your friends? Or did you change your plans?"
"We delayed it," she answered, toying with the hem of her shirt. Suddenly, she looked up. "Die, I have to tell you something and I need your advice. But first, you HAVE to promise me that you won't tell dad. I really mean it."
The redhead hesitated a bit, chewing on his lower lip and just examined her features like trying to read her thoughts. Finally he sighed though. "You'd better have a good reason why not then... You know we don't keep secrets from each other. But if it's important to you, I won't say anything to him."
"It is important." She nodded, took a deep breath and turned a bit to have a better view on him. "See, it's about Sho... He, well, I...." she babbled incoherently and finally dug out a small item which looked like a thermometer. "It's pink."
"Pink?" For a while Die stared at the item, completely dumbfounded before his mind was beginning to work and he realized what he was looking at. But it couldn't be really true! He turned to look her in the eye, not able to stay as calm and casual as he would've wanted to. "You are..? You mean that? I mean, you can't... it's not, well, you..?"
"Remember that I had diarrhoea that other weekend? I think it... you know, it must have affected the pill." Mika looked quite desperate. "I didn't think it would, but then, I didn't get my period and I bought this test. Die," she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder, "I'm pregnant. What shall I do now?"
"Oh gosh." Die automatically wrapped his arms around her, trying to process the information. He had no idea what he should instruct the girl to do, didn't know if he should tell her to get rid of the child or keep it. "Did you talk with Sho about it?" He finally got out the question.
"Hell no!" Mika shook her head frantically. "I can't. I have no idea how he will react and I first want to get my own emotions straight and see what I want to do." Although she was agitated, she still seemed to be reasonable, trying to sort her thoughts. "What would you do?"
"If I was pregnant? I mean, well you know what I mean." The redhead smiled faintly. "I don't know. It all depends on if you want to have the child or not. Do you think you'd be able to take care of it? You still are a child yourself too..."
"Die!!" The girl's tone was admonishing. "That's not what I want to hear right now. How should I know if I can bring up a child? I have no idea. I want to study and work, but I want a family once. And what if Sho just leaves me alone with everything? How should I work this out on my own?"
"That's why I asked if you told him." Die looked at her seriously. "If he is willing to stand by you, and you want to have the child, it'll all be easier. But if he doesn't want it... well, it leaves you with the decision."
That still wasn't what Mika had wanted to hear when she had come to talk to the redhead and one could see it very well in the look on her face. "Wouldn't that be the point where you tell me that, no matter how I decide, I won't be alone. That you will help me?" There were tears shimmering in those dark brown depths. "I don't want to decide." Suddenly, she seemed to have an idea. "Can't you be there too when I tell Sho?"
"Of course you won't be alone, don't worry. But I would want you to make your own decisions, and don't do it based on what you think someone else wants. Even if we don't at first like your decision, you'll get full support, I promise." Die smiled at her honestly. "And I can be there when you tell him if you want me to. Although I don't know him really, and if he's not nice to you I will definitely kill him." He chuckled, hugging her a bit tighter.
The last sentence caused Mika to chuckle a bit, but then she nodded. "I will have to make up my mind and then tell Sho. Remember," she looked Die straight in the eyes, "don't tell dad. Maybe he won't have to know at all. He'll drop dead and become furious."
"Mika... You will need to tell Kao eventually. He's your father." The redhead tried to reason with her, but as he saw her frown he hurried to add to calm her down. "I won't tell him, I promised. But I still think you should talk to him."
"I won't have to tell him if I decide against the child," she pointed out. "And even if I decide for it, he doesn't have to know. I will tell him when the child's going to university." Although she was joking, it was clear that she was determined to hide this information from her father as long as possible.
"Kao's not dumb, you know, it's not going to be easy to hide it from him for long." Absent mindedly Die stroke the girl's back in a soothing manner. "Not even if I cover for you."
"I just really need to talk to Sho before I think about telling dad. Otherwise, the old man will surely kill him," Mika explained quietly. She had no idea how things were supposed to work out and she was afraid of what was to come.
"Just tell me if you need me for anything." The redhead tried to look her in the eye honestly. "I'm sorry I'm not more useful, but you have to figure out what it is that you want..."
"You think I could be a mom?" The girl asked seriously. She appreciated the redhead's help and trusted his judgement although he seemed a bit overextended with the information he had just gotten. She hadn't fully comprehended it herself even.
"You could." Die answered honestly, after thinking for a moment. "If you set out to it, and take it seriously you would make a better mom than many people I know. But it would mean a lot of responsibility too, and giving up many things girls at your age usually have."
"I know." Again, Mika nodded sighing. "But I don't think I could just kill it. I love him, you know and I believe he'll stand by me."
"Then give him a chance to prove it and tell him." The redhead smiled slightly.
"I will." Determined, the girl stood up after pecking Die's cheek. "And I think I will do it alone. After all, it's my fault and I have to account for that fact, right?"
"You're a brave girl." His smile widened a bit. "Just let me know what he said then, alright? And please, consider telling Kao about it too."
"I will. Now gimme that back," she pointed at the pregnancy test. "And better wash your hands." She grinned. "I mean... you know how those work."
"Oh, right." Die handed her the item back, getting on his feet as well. "And I hope that the talk helped at least a bit. At least you got it out..."
"Yeah. And I will think about everything you said. Thank you Die. For being there." She smiled and then went back to her room. After a while, one could hear her talk agitated to somebody on the phone and Die assumed that the person at the other end of the line was probably Sho.
He was utterly worried about the girl, hoping that things would turn out well. The biggest part of him just wanted to call the older guitarist instantly and tell him everything, he felt completely overextended as he was the only adult Mika had informed. But he had promised not to say anything, and just tried to get a hold of himself not to look suspicious when his lover would come home.
Kaoru, however, didn't notice anything and even through the next couple of days, Die managed not to spill the beans. Still, there were awkward moments when the older guitarist sensed something weird, but didn't know what it was. Like this one morning, Die was stirring some eggs in a pan and Mika sat at the table. Kaoru entered the room, smiling and silently pecked his lover's cheek, sneaking a peek at what he was doing.
Die instead exchanged a short glance with Mika. "Something wrong?" Kaoru asked, chuckling a bit. "You two look like you're having secrets." Of course he only meant it as a joke, but he couldn't have known what the comment triggered inside his daughter and lover.
Die was beginning to be more and more disturbed by the fact that he wasn't allowed to tell anything about it to his lover though. They usually shared practically everything, talking about whatever crossed their minds, and several times he was just about to say something suspicious before he caught himself just in time. At first, he had been determined to give Mika time, not wanting to pressure her into anything, but it began to bother him enough so that he mentioned it to her a few times vaguely, trying to make her see it would be the best if they told Kaoru about it.
Still, the girl refused. She had sorted things out together with Sho, her boyfriend. The two had decided to keep the child and right now and were busy figuring out how things should work. Mika wanted to wait with telling her father until she had a solution to everything, so that he couldn't be angry at her anymore. She would've probably told him already, but with the time passing, she ran out of arguments why she had waited so long in the first place.
The situation was beginning to take its toll on Die, and he seriously considered even telling Kaoru himself about the situation. But he had promised Mika not to, and he couldn't just forget it like that. But every time they ran into a slightly uncomfortable situation, and Kaoru looked at him inquiringly, it was beginning to be harder to come up with believable explanations. One day, Die was even frustrated enough to snap at her about it when Kaoru was out buying groceries. "Can't you finally tell your father about it? Hell, the child will be born before you even address the topic!"
"I wanted to. A dozen times," Mika defended herself. "But then I am too afraid of his reaction. Gosh, I should've told him straight away. Now it's even harder."
"If you won't tell him soon, I will." Die ran his fingers through his hair frustrated, not sure if he meant the words seriously or not. "I can't just come up with more excuses…"
"Please Die, don't. I will tell him soon." The girl had promised him that more often already and although she meant it, she never really dared to walk the talk.
"I know I'm not the one with troubles here, but it's not easy on me either anymore." The redhead plopped down to sit on the couch, feeling somehow utterly tired right at that moment. "Just please let him know. He won't kill you or anything."
"Maybe you could carefully talk to him first? I mean like generally addressing the topic or so?" Mika suggested quietly. She didn't want Die to feel bad just because she was too indecisive to do that herself.
"Generally addressing the topic?" Die was practically desperate enough to try anything. "But how!? 'Hey Kao, how would you feel if your daughter would have a child'..?"
"Well, maybe not THAT blunt, but somehow yeah." She nodded, leaning against the kitchen's doorframe. "Maybe you could tell that one of my classmates is pregnant and see how he reacts?"
"He would see right through me." The redhead knew that it was likely to happen, as Kaoru had a freaky ability to tell every time Die was trying to hide something and cover it up by altering the story a bit.
"Then hold out a bit until I find the right moment to address the topic." Mika shrugged. She had no better idea than that, but knew the longer she delayed the talk, the harder it would become.
"I can tell him, if you don't want to." Die looked straight up at her suddenly. "I mean, maybe it would be easier." He shrugged. "He'd yell at me first and then calm down before I let him come talk to you."
"You think so?" The girl arched a questioning eyebrow and after receiving a nod, she went on. "And you would do that for me? You know he'll be mad at you too, right? I wanted to keep you out of that."
"He'll be mad at me anyways." He smiled slightly. "I can take it, he won't be mad forever."
Mika had just opened her mouth to reply something when the door opened and Kaoru came home. "Okay," she just said and quickly went into the hall to put on her shoes and go out. Her father looked surprised. "You're going out?" But he only received a nod before the girl disappeared through the door. "She could've at least helped me carry the bags," Kaoru mentioned, two filled paper bags in each arm.
The redhead got up from his seat, coming closer and taking two of the bags from his lover. "She was in a hurry, I guess." He was nervous now, as he had gotten the permission to tell Kaoru about the pregnancy, and he had no idea how to address the topic.
"She always is. I don't even see her anymore than in the morning when she leaves until the clapping of the door signals that she came home at night again." Kaoru sighed, put his bag on the counter and turned around to face his lover, smiling. "She's growing up too fucking fast," he said winking and gave the other man a peck on the lips.
"Well, yeah, she is. And she has grown a lot, I mean as in becoming more mature." Die began, trying to somehow get the conversation to the right tracks.
"She's still only a teenager with bad hormones," the older guitarist stated convinced and hopped on the counter, beckoning his lover with a crooked index finger. "But at least she gives us more time alone these days."
"Kao, I need to talk to you, seriously." The redhead decided that he would never get it done and over with if he didn't go straight to the point.
Instantly, everything playful vanished from Kaoru's behaviour and his eyes bore a serious expression. "What is it?" he asked shortly, knowing that it probably was something really uncomfortable.
"It's about Mika. You know the guy she's been dating lately, for weeks now?" Die looked his lover in the eye, trying to remain calm and casual.
"No, I don't know him, because she still didn't introduce this ominous Sho to either of us. Or do YOU know him?" The older guitarist arched an eyebrow, examining his lover with a strict expression.
"No, I don't know him. But this has something to do with him too." The younger man's courage faltered, and he had to avert his gaze. "Mika and he... well, they're really serious about each other. And they should be, since…"
At first, Kaoru didn't really get his lover's last sentence and rolled his eyes in an annoyed gesture. "C'mon, they are teenagers. At that age, everybody's the true love." Only after the last word had left his lips, his brains had processed the rest of what Die had said. "They should be? Because...?"
"They're going to be parents." Die almost tripped on his words, just getting them out as fast as he could. This wasn't how he had wanted to tell the older man, but somehow every good plan he had had just vanished from his mind.
"WHAT?" The older guitarist almost slipped off the counter in shock. He turned first pale, then bright red. "That can't be." His voice was louder and one could clearly see that he was angry. "Since when do you know it and why the fuck am I the last one to be informed? How the fuck did that happen?"
"She told me that it was probably because she was sick back then. She took the pill but, well..." The redhead shrugged, trying to keep his voice calm to make the other man calm down too. "She was afraid to tell you, that's why you haven't heard yet."
"You know, that's great. That's really fucking great!" Sarcasm was dripping from those words and Kaoru clenched his hands into fists. "I knew she wasn't old enough. Fuck! I assume she wants to marry this Sho guy, quit school and play happy family from now on, right?"
"She wants to finish school, despite everything. But yeah, she wants to marry him I guess. At least he's willing to be there for her, that's something positive. Come on Kao, there's nothing anyone could've done..."
"I could've locked her up, they could've used a condom on top of it!" The older guitarist barked, seriously angry. "And she could've told me first. C'mon, I'm her father after all. I'm not a monster. I bet Nozomi doesn't know either, does she?" He answered the question himself. "Of course not, 'cause if she would, I had already gotten a dozen of calls where she tells me what a bad father I am and that we handle things too loose here."
"Of course you're not a monster, but she's still afraid. She hadn't sorted out her own thoughts even, and she loves you too much to want you to be angry at her; or disappointed." Die tried to ignore the angry tone of the other's voice, still managing to keep calm himself. "It's simply because you're so important to her that she didn't dare to tell you."
"Of course you meant only to protect me." There was still sarcasm in the older guitarist's voice, but he spoke a bit more quiet, had gotten a grip of himself. "And just because you love me so much, I was passed over and haven't even been asked for MY opinion about this."
"Come on!" The younger man was beginning to get frustrated with the situation. "I PROMISED her not to tell you, I couldn't break that no matter how much I would've wanted to. Besides, it's her life, her decision eventually."
"Of course it's her life, but do you honestly think we won't be involved when she gives birth to that child? Where will she live? Who will take care of the baby once she's getting back to school? Who will pay for everything? Us!" Kaoru growled, not slowing down. "Did she tell you how she imagines it to be? Did you tell her how hard it is to raise a child at her age? That she has to do without many things girls at her age do? And what's with this Sho? How serious is he? If he was, then he would stand in front of my door and tell me."
"She KNOWS how hard it will be to raise a child at her age. I did tell her that again and again, but I don't think I told her anything she didn't know already. And this guy she's with, he has promised to stand by her and at least he's taking responsibility like he should. I'm not exactly happy here either, but we can't change the situation anyways."
"But she's my baby." Kaoru mumbled defiantly, averting his gaze. "And we're too young to become grandparents..."
"She's almost an adult now, Kao." Die's voice softened, although he was still firm. "You need to let her try to build up her own life."
"I will respect that." The older man looked up, straight into his lover's eyes. "But that doesn't mean I have to be happy with her decision. And I don't even know that guy. I know I can trust Mika, but I don't want her to get hurt and end up with a life she doesn't want."
"I know." The redhead smiled. "But she'll be fine. And I'm sure she'll bring her boyfriend to meet us soon now."
"She’d better. I want to meet that guy and this time I won't promise not to scare him." Kaoru folded his arms across his chest, looking like a stubborn child who was about to scream and to cry to get a chocolate bar it wanted.
"You won't at least try to scare him away." Die warned. "Mika still needs him, you know, and the child needs a father."
"Hell no. I won't scare him away. I will just nicely tell him if he ever hurts my daughter, I'll castrate him."
"Well, that you're allowed to do. And I already promised Mika I'd kill him if he ever hurts her."
"I need a drink now. A strong one." Kaoru decided and hopped off the counter, walking straight to the living room to get the bourbon from one of the cupboards. He wasn't mad anymore, but pretty much confused and disappointed that Mika hadn't told him straight away.
For a moment Die staid behind in the kitchen, closing his eyes and just trying to force himself to relax. Kaoru had taken the news better than he had assumed he would, being far calmer already. After a moment he straightened, following the older man, but staying standing near the doorframe.
"Want one too?" the older guitarist asked without even turning around. He had already taken a second glass and was about to pour the bourbon into it. He knew that it wasn't Die's fault, still he felt betrayed by the whole situation.
"Yeah." The redhead nodded, slowly approaching and taking the offered glass instantly.
"I will have to talk to Nozomi," Kaoru said after emptying his drink and pouring a second one. "And believe me, she's going to be less calm than me."
"I know. She'll freak out totally." Die sighed, as he could already see in his mind how his lover's ex-wife would react to this kind of news.
"And she'll blame us. Gosh," the older guitarist sighed, "and that when we're finally getting along well. She'll yell and I can't stand her high-pitched voice in my ears."
"I can come with you if you want me to." The other man offered silently, not completely sure if the older man was still angry at him as well. He had directed his eyes to the floor, only daring to look up as the older man started to speak.
"Are you nuts?" Despite his still angry state of mind, Kaoru had to smile. "She'd rip out your heart and say that YOU managed to destroy her life completely now."
"Yeah, but she would forget to be angry at you." Die had to mirror the smile. "Which would be kinda handy since you two have to still keep in touch since you still have a daughter."
"Who's grown up and soon will have a family of her own. Naaah." Kaoru shook his head and took the other man's hand into his own. "I need you to be alive, that's all."
"You know, I was pretty sure YOU would rip my heart out just a moment ago." Relieved, Die squeezed the other's hand a bit.
"I wasn't far from it." Kaoru admitted, emptied his glass and then dragged his lover to the couch to sit down on it. "But I came to the conclusion that life sucks without you."
"Good. So I'm safe now?" The younger man sat down beside his lover, carefully leaning against him.
"At least for the time being. I can't guarantee for later." The older guitarist joked, sneaking his arm around his lover's waist. "Gods, I would've never imagined that something like this could happen. I still could hit Mika for being this irresponsible."
"I can imagine..." Die had to sigh contently, relaxing slowly into the embrace. "I didn't even believe her at first."
Kaoru laughed out loud. "Well, if she comes with something like that, one just has to believe her. She knows too well to joke about things like that."
"Yeah, I know, in theory." The younger man admitted. "It was still a hard thing to understand." For a while he fell silent, before tilting his head and looking at his lover. "I'm sorry that we kept it from you."
"I know. Well, I know that you are sorry. And somehow I'm okay with it, because you gave your word," the older man gave away a bit more quiet. "But you need to promise me to never keep things like that from me ever again."
"I promise." Die nodded, burying his face into the other man's neck and inhaling his scent deep. "I wouldn't even want to keep anything from you."
"Good. Then we are now waiting for Mika to come home and then have a good talk, all three of us," Kaoru decided and hugged his lover tightly. It turned out that they had to wait for quite some time and when the door opened, they were both fast asleep on the couch. Of course they woke up and they still had that talk till late at night. Mika apologized a thousand times to her father, even cried, but was relieved that he took it rather well. Or then, it was because Die had blocked the first wave of anger himself.
Eventually they ended up hugging each other and Kaoru and Die promised they would be there for Mika come whatever may. And when they finally managed to get to bed that night, they were all totally relieved that all things were finally out in the open, and that no one was mad at anyone anymore. Kaoru demanded to get to meet the father of Mika's child as soon as possible though, and he was still determined to scare the boy a bit to make sure he was good enough for his daughter. Although in his eyes probably no one was good enough for her.
Mika had begged Die to make sure her father would hold back a bit, but she was also confident that Sho didn't mind Kaoru's scaring. She had prepared him mentally. Still, when the boy first reached for Kaoru's hand to shake it, he was obviously nervous. Of course he had known who Mika's father was and he knew Die as well, but that fact didn't manage to calm him down. Despite appearances, the older guitarist had to admit though that the young man his daughter had chosen was nice. He would've never said it out loud though and still had his little chit-chat in private with Sho.
Although Die trusted his lover completely, he had still been somewhat nervous and was glad that Kaoru wasn't too harsh on the poor boy. He seemed to be a good guy from what he had seen, and Mika definitely could've chosen worse. They were all relieved when the day was over though, the awkwardness of the first meeting slowly fading.
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You can't make them screw? Haha, dear, it should come easy to you. After all, you're a native speaker and should know how to describe things^^ You mean our whore-fic? "Spread your wings" was the name^^
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*puts on childish tantrum voice* I CAN!!! :P
Its just...well...the situation they are in, I need to word it right. I'm not good with words. I'll work on it once I've done this chapter to my RukixKyo fic. I've been writing all day.
SPREAD YOUR WINGS! Thats it, must remember that. My first Jrock yaoi fic! :D
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Oh, I know what you mean. I wrote this one fic and now I am supposed to write the lemon, but I can't get it out right. It has to be kinda rough although the beginning of the fic is funny and thus, it should end funny as well. *tears hair* How am I supposed to do that when I don't know half of the vocabulary you know?
Really? That was your fist one? Did you read "The walk of life"? I know it's cheap to recommend own fics, but I can only do that x)
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Well lets just say, I'm not good at wording rough stuff. *cough* I just cant do it T__T Its why I think "spread your wings" will help me :P
Well techincally yes, I read one that was Countess_miyu's but she linked me it before I signed up here, so I never really noticed it was JRY, then I made an account and yours was the first I saw(plus Diru was the only Jrock band I knew well at the time), so I clicked it. I was just trying it out, and I was like "wow..." hehe so techincally that was the first one I had read and commented on. Why do you think I love you guys so much?
I can't remember the names of them, the last archived one I read was....against all odds I think. They are step brothers? I was going to read more, but my IE got crappy for no reason so it doesn't load LJ properly, it takes ages. T__T I will get this pc soonish so my boyf cant kick me off when I'm busy reading like he tried last time. "I gotta go to work soon" "I'm half way through, WAIT" "how long?" "5mins, tops" "I'll go make a cup of tea then." I won XD
*I only ever listened to Metal/rock. Countess_Miyu got me into Jrock <3 Its all I ever listen to now lmao
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Oh yeah, Against all odds is the one where they are stepbrothers. We still intend to write a sequel once^^ Heh, I do forget the names too since for me, those are just "the teen-thingy" "the whore-thingy" and such. Haha, take your time. The archieve's not going anywhere^^
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Ooooh a sequal to that one? ^_________^ To tell you the truth, I didn't think I'd like it, I have a thing about incest, but they weren't blood related so its ok :p (sorry if that doesnt make sense) I loved it though ^__^
I'll read them later. I don't plan to do much today.
btw I L-O-V-E your icon. Made me giggle XD
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Haha, you do make sense. But dear, we would never write real incest, because we both don't like it either XD I once read a really good story about them being brothers. It was so good that I kept on reading even though they were falling in love and had sex once. But then luckily it turned out that they weren't real brothers but both only adopted. I was as relieved as the two of them to hear about it *lol
Thanks^^
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heh I have never read it, but I don't want to either. Its wrong. I dunno why I think that, it just is. I stay away from those fics :P At least they changed it to how it should be. :D
*hugs fonulyn* The face on him was very funny. :D
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It is wrong! There are some things I simply don't wanna read...
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Can I read? please? j/k :D Although it''d take me a while to read if I get this job *crosses fingers*
Dir en Grey are here and I can't see them T__T I regret not going now....well kinda. I'll get over it, I got over them being in London in August :P
It is wrong...but I don't think step-brothers is wrong or anything. I guess its just blood relation that bothers me. *shrugs* Never read one don't plan to. I'll be able to read some more of your archives later now we have stolen a friends laptop :D
Expect MORE comments from me~~ :D
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Haha, you wanna read the long story? It's not edited and is still in form of MSN-logs. fonulyn and I thought about posting at least parts of it once. It's really full of either very love-dovey stuff and of smut.
*huggles* You'll see them next year then (and if you don't, then I'll come over and spank you!)
Nah, there's nothing wrong with sept-brothers screwing. They are not blood related and I don't have problems with reading or writing that x)
Yay, comment away, dear.
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Yhea, I still have a really long story to read, its in 2 parts, the second part is 72 chapters long. No idea how long the first part is. ^^' I was sent it months ago havent started it.
My friend sends me bits of his story over MSN, you know to show me how its going and show me his ideas, I do it too, but to tease people :D I'm cruel. Yesterday it was RukixKyo I was sending to people. hahaha they want me to hurry up and finish that chapter so I can send them it. I really should post it but I really cant be bothered re-writing the first 4 chapters. (My writing style has changed and it looks weird)
HAHAHHAHAHA when I get money I shall stalk them like you do :D Although I might miss them deliberately just to see if you would ;)
I say I dont like brothers, but I have a picture of game characters, its fan art obviously and its yaoi obsvously, and I like it. Eventhough I KNOW they are blood related. ><'' maybe its just the cuteness of it
YAY commenting! when I was on fanfiction.net they hated me comemnting :D I never shut up.....like you've seen XD
btw your icon makes me giggle :D