rabenhorst (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rabenhorst) wrote2007-09-26 10:06 pm
rabenhorst) wrote2007-09-26 10:06 pm
(no subject)
Title: First Love, Last Love; Chapter 3
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
seinen_no and fonulyn
Rating: NC17 overall
Pairing: Die and Kaoru
Disclaimer: We own no one, only our dirty imaginations.
Summary: When Kaoru and his wife get a divorce, he is forced to leave his little daughter to live with her mother when he’s moving out. He finds support in his best friend, but is friendship everything life has in store for them? Or is their past together going to resurface now that Kaoru’s life has been turned upside down?[yes, I am aware that sounds like an ad for a b-class soap opera XD]
Comments:
seinen_no: Well well well, what would you do if you found out your ex-husband is with his former boyfriend again after you broke up? You can find out if you read this chapter x)
And now if that wasn't a good teaser, I have no idea what would be. Sorry dears. I'm dead tired and that has the same effect on me like being drunk. I hope you still have fun reading^^
fonulyn: Gosh, I have nothing to say right now XD I’m braindead. Just, enjoy! I know I did when we wrote this^^
And feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive .
Previously happened: Part 1, Part 2
First Love, Last Love
Chapter 3
Thankfully they had a couple of free days now though, that gave them time to get adjusted into the new situation themselves before they would be telling others about it. Although they were somewhat insecure, still both kind of fearing that it was too good to be true, they also felt somehow like coming back home. Things worked out almost frighteningly smoothly in the beginning. The expected, and moreover feared, stumbling blocks staying away.
They spent their free days together in Kaoru's new apartment, Die helping him to unpack the last boxes and it didn't take long until they felt as if they had never broken up in the first place. There was just this certain basic trust between them which had been there during their first try to lead a relationship as much as during the years of their friendship.
When they had to get back to work and met the others in the small studio, they instantly burst out with the news, both too happy to hide it. The initial reaction of their friends was something along the lines 'we should've known it', along with some friendly teasing and constant jokes for a couple of days. One could see though that the three other bandmembers were happy for their friends, trusting that they would be mature enough to handle this well and do only good for each other eventually.
Besides, their split-up had never really affected the band's work, nor their friendship, so they were certain the guitarists would be able to keep it that way. It was a relief for Die and Kaoru that they could be themselves around their bandmates since, whenever outside their apartments, they had to behave. But being as much in love as they were would've made it impossible to act like nothing had changed even around their friends.
During Mika's first visits, Die staid away and spent the weekend in his own apartment or hung out with his friends. Kaoru simply wanted to be there for the girl alone. His lover understood that without it needing lots of words. But soon, after the first couple of months, Die was there more often as well and they did things together with the little girl. It just happened naturally and no one seemed to have anything against it.
Die would've been ready to stay away still if Kaoru had asked him to, but somehow they figured that it would be natural for Mika to see her dad's friends as well, and since she liked Die a lot it didn't appear as a problem of any kind. The girl even told her mother enthusiastically about what she had done during the weekends, and although Nozomi noted how much the redhead seemed to hang around with them, she kept quiet and didn't say a word.
Sometimes, when they had to work on the weekends where Kaoru had Mika, he took her with him to the studio. He was grateful that his girl was already quite responsible and easily to keep busy which made things a lot easier for him. Besides, Kyo, Toshiya and Shinya loved her to death and spoiled her by giving her toys and sweets, not bothering for her father's objections. Usually, Kaoru dropped the girl at her mother's apartment on Sundays, but sometimes, when the time didn't allow it or Nozomi was around anyways, she also picked her up.
They still didn't get along too well, but kept their personal differences down for the child's sake. Still they didn't talk more than the necessary and only exchanged a few words when they saw each other. Somehow Nozomi was growing curious though, because Mika had begun to talk about Die more often lately, and it seemed that he was there almost every weekend with the two. So as she came to pick up the girl one Sunday, she paid some extra attention to her ex-husband's apartment. First only subconsciously, but her curiosity was a driving force.
She was with a friend and when they were already about to leave, she turned to her. "Could you take Mika to the car already? I need to go to the toilet and will follow in a moment." The woman left after Kaoru had said goodbye to his daughter. While his ex-wife headed for the bathroom, he sat down on the couch and switched on the TV, hoping she'd leave soon because Die had only gone to buy some groceries and they had never gotten along particularly well.
It only took a short moment before Nozomi appeared back in the living room, casting a pondering glance at her ex-husband. "You seem to have two toothbrushes nowadays..." She didn't know how to begin to talk about it, seeing that they weren't exactly friendly again with each other, only polite, but she was somehow agitated and needed to get it out.
Kaoru looked at her, somewhat puzzled. "What?" he asked annoyed and then rolled his eyes to show her it was none of her business. She could've guessed that he would end up with somebody again sooner or later, so he only shrugged. "That's because one of it isn't mine."
"I suppose the second shaver isn't yours either?" The woman pushed on, her eyes fixed on the guitarist's form.
That comment caused Kaoru's heart to skip a beat and an unpleasant feeling in his stomach. Still, he nodded. "Right, it's not mine either."
Seeing that he admitted that so easily, Nozomi decided to try her luck and went straight to her suspicions. "Are you again together with Die?"
Kaoru fell silent for a moment, but it only took him mere seconds before he nodded. "Yes." He hadn't intended to hide his relationship from her, but hadn't seen the necessity to make huge fuzz about it either. If Nozomi hadn't had problems with Die in the beginning, he would've probably told her already. But he was dependant on her because of Mika and so he had avoided the topic thus far.
"Right. I should've known it!" She didn't exactly seem to take it calm and threw her hands up in defeat. "You were probably thinking of him throughout the whole friggin' marriage! You son of a bitch just used me, fooled me like this!" If she had thought about it for a moment, she would've known that it wasn't the case, that no one else had anything to do with the failure of their marriage but the two of them. They were simply not made for each other.
Kaoru pursed his lips and released a deep sigh. He had seen that coming and constantly told himself to remain calm and not take it personally. Still, he had to defend himself and looked at her blankly. "You know that's not the case. I only now realized that I love him. It has nothing to do with us and our marriage. I loved you too back then, but it's over now. So what does it matter with whom I'm together? I know you have somebody else as well, somebody from work. Do I make big fuzz about it and accuse you that this thing has been going for longer already? No. So please don't blame me for things I didn't do." He wasn't so sure if he had ever honestly loved her though, but that didn't matter at that moment.
"It's different, Kaoru!" Her eyes were flaming as she stared at him, even clenching her fists. "You told me that he was past for you, but now it seems that it wasn't the truth. You were just indecisive, and happened to ruin my life with it as well, thank you!"
"I ruined your life?" Kaoru raised his voice, staring at her disbelieving. "I did everything I could for you and I never ever cheated on you throughout all those years, so don't pretend I did. I just can't help that we got back together, I even don't want to. But I swear that there was nothing between us while we were married."
"Did everything you could for me?" It was Nozomi's turn to look disbelieving. "Bullshit. Your friends and your band were always more important to you than me. Always."
"The band paid for the apartment, your food, your beauty treatments, the car and the holidays. I'm sorry that it's a time-consuming job, but you fucking knew that already when we got together. And I didn't do half as much with the guys while we were married than before Besides," slowly, Kaoru was getting agitated too and even stood up from the couch, "it's friggin' impossible to lead a decent conversation with you for you just don't understand my problems."
"Your problems? You think I don't have problems then?" She shook her head, taking a few steps as she was obviously agitated. "And don't you see I feel betrayed now that it looks like you were still just hanging on to someone else throughout our whole marriage?"
"I understand that." Kaoru nodded, his voice more quiet again. "And I am sorry, deeply sorry. I'm sorry that our marriage didn't work out, I'm sorry that we always seem to have lived in completely different worlds, I really am. But I can't apologize for being with him again for I didn't do anything wrong. It just happened and there was nothing I could do about it."
Slowly Nozomi was beginning to get a grip on herself, nodding at the words a few times. "Mika doesn't know?" She finally spoke up after a long moment of silence, glancing at her former husband.
"No. I think she's too young to understand and I don't want her to get picked on in case she accidentally tells others." The guitarist instantly was calm again, looking at his ex-wife almost pleadingly. "She thinks Die's only my friend and I won't do anything to change that soon."
"Alright. I won't say anything either." She agreed, nodding a bit to confirm her words. "It's probably best for her not to know now."
"Thanks." Kaoru honestly meant it. Slowly, he stepped towards her, trying to guide her to the door. Under no circumstances did he want her to bump into Die now since it would certainly lead to another argument. His lover was quite sultry and he definitely wouldn't be half as calm when she attacked him as she had done with him.
They didn't talk much anymore before Nozomi hurried away, already thinking what she could say to explain why it had taken so long. She wasn't gone a moment too early, since almost at the same time when the car drove off, Die appeared back to the apartment. He found Kaoru sitting on the couch, the smile he gave him somehow looking forced. "Hi. You were quick."
"Yeah..." Die frowned, noticing that there was something off in the situation. He set everything he was holding down on the table and then headed towards his lover. "Something happened? You look pale..."
"It's nothing really." Again, the older man smiled wearily. "Only that Nozomi snapped when she found out that I'm with you again. I am surprised that she calmed down quite quickly though, but maybe it's only because Mika and her friend were waiting in the car. I don't know."
"She snapped at you?" The redhead's frown deepened considerably as he sat down beside the other. "It should be none of her business if you're going on with your life."
"Well," Kaoru sighed deeply, looking into his lover's eyes, "I kinda understand her. She thinks I've been fooling her all the time and only wanted to be with you."
"But that's unfair." Die instinctively raised his hand to touch the other man's cheek. "She should know that you were always honest to her."
"I think she does know. But she's angry at me and I'm kinda agitated too, so it's not easy to dodge an argument." For a moment, the older guitarist closed his eyes, leaning a bit more into the touch. But suddenly, his head snapped back up. "You're not angry at me for telling her, right? I just didn't see a sense in denying it."
"Of course not." The younger man smiled, honestly this time and even leaned in to peck Kaoru's lips. "I fully trust your judgement when it comes to that."
The comment elicited a dry chuckle from Kaoru and he shook his head. "I don't know if my judgement is the best though. But thank you." He smiled a bit. "I never wanted to drag you into this, though I should've known that it'd be impossible to avoid it."
"You should know by now that your problems are my problems." Die stated with a grin, winking at the other man. "And the other way around." He grabbed Kaoru's arm and made him get up. "And now I'm gonna make you drown those melancholy thoughts in food, old man."
"Aye sir." Laughing softly, Kaoru followed his lover, but kicked his butt when the comment had fully reached his brain. "I'm only a couple of months older than you..."
"TEN months, love. It's almost a year." The redhead didn't seem to bother, only grinned at the other man over his shoulder and headed to the kitchen.
"So what? A year is nothing." The older guitarist followed quickly after. They had made it a habit to have dinner together whenever Mika had been picked up. Kind of to letting the Sunday die away slowly and enjoy the last moments of togetherness, just cooking something or ordering food from a delivery-service.
"A year is plenty. I'm still young when you'll get wrinkles." The redhead stopped abruptly as they were in the kitchen, turning around to press a quick kiss on the smaller man's forehead, patting his hair. "I'm sorry to break the news for you." It had always been like this and probably would never change. Die teased his lover with his age and Kaoru on his side teased the other with his laziness. They could waltz these conversations back and forth, both knowing that it was only a way to show their affection towards each other.
***
They managed quite well with their life, leading a relationship and being part-time dads, as well as playing the guitar in a successful band. Although they were either touring or being in the studio for a big part of the year, Mika always came first and when she was there, Kaoru and Die tried to spend as much time with her as possible. She was a clever girl, grew up quite fast, but to Kaoru, she would always stay his little baby-girl. Mika loved it when she was allowed to come to the studio with them, because the others were like three uncles, trying to surpass each other in being the coolest, the most generous and favoured.
Shinya seemed to be determined to teach her how to play drums and Kaoru inwardly thanked the lord that she was too old already to dig out some pots in the kitchen, grab two spoons and just bang on them. Although she was definitely talented in a way, Kaoru didn't want her to become a musician, seeing how hard it was to live on that. But Mika was still too young to think about her future yet. She still loved her barbie dolls, Disney movies and visiting the playground with her friends in the afternoons.
A lot of her stuff was gathered at Kaoru's place as well eventually, including practically everything from her dolls to her clothes. And she seemed to be almost always in a good mood, happy whenever she got to see her dad. Die got along with Mika really well too, always had. He still had this playful side in his nature, and he had always been willing to play with the girl ever since she had been born. Still, sometimes he staid away, gave Kaoru the chance to spend some time alone with his daughter every now and then.
Everything seemed to be going smoothly, almost too good to be true even since all the expected stumbling stones and troubles were staying away. It was a normal Thursday evening, and Die and Kaoru had just arrived at Kaoru's apartment after a long day of work when Nozomi called all suddenly. She was almost hysterical, telling her ex-husband to come there instantly. Their daughter had disappeared.
Kaoru tried to remain calm and think straight, only asked what had happened. Nozomi told him that she had been a little late to pick the girl up from school and when she had arrived there, the girl had been gone. It was a matter of course that Kaoru and Die went straight to the school to start looking all over the familiar places. The phone pinned between his ear and his shoulder, Kaoru bent down to lace his shoes. He was angry, fuming that his ex-wife had been late, but he swallowed every possible accusation for the time being and instead asked. "Did you call her friends and looked at her favourite places? Maybe she just went to the shop to buy sweets." While he was talking, he and Die already left the apartment to head for the car.
"I called her friends, yes." Nozomi was trying hard to control her voice and to simply stop panicking although she was close to tears. "And I went to look in the shops, but no one has seen her there. Maybe I should come to the school as well?" For a moment she had almost forgotten that she was still angry at her ex-husband, as now all she could think of was her daughter.
"Do that. We'll be at the school in twenty minutes. And Nozomi," Kaoru just entered the passenger seat of the car while Die took the driving-seat, "did you go home to see if she's there? Maybe she got bored and went home alone."
"I did. Do you think I'm stupid or something?" Her voice was high pitched although she tried not to shout too loud. "I'll be at the school in no time. Meet me there."
Giving an agreeing noise, Kaoru hung up. "That goddamn bitch!" He hit the dashboard with his fist. "She friggin’ works 4 hours and that only three days a week, just for fun and then she's too stupid to pick Mika up on time. What if a pervert has taken her with him? What if she got run over by a car?" He released his frustration, giving the instrument panel another kick with his foot.
"Calm down, Kao!" Die kept his eyes on the road, trying to concentrate on driving so that they'd get there as soon as possible. "You're not doing any good by panicking. She's fine, and we will find her."
"I fucking am calm!" The older man growled. "She's too young to run around alone. There's danger everywhere. What if she gets lost and doesn't know where to turn? God damn it." He took a deep breath, trying to get a hold of himself, staring out of the front window. "Can't this sucker make way? We're in a hurry, you asshole." He kept on swearing at the other drivers for quite some time before he finally fell silent again.
The redhead kept silent, just trying to bring them to Mika's school as soon as possible. He knew there was no sense in trying to talk to Kaoru right now, and he simply ignored his outbursts and let him get out some steam. It felt like an eternity before they were finally there, although in reality it hadn't been such a long drive.
Nozomi was already waiting before the front-gate and Kaoru marched towards her, still not really calm. "Heard anything yet?" He was glad that Die was there as well, the redhead's presence somehow soothing him although one couldn't really see it.
"No." Nozomi shook her head, giving the redhead a murderous glare as soon as she noticed him. She didn't say anything though, only directed her attention back at their missing child. "I talked to her teacher, and he just said she left the classroom like always and after that he hasn't seen her."
"Okay," Kaoru nodded, thinking for a moment. "I'd say we search the local playgrounds and toy-stores and such. Maybe she just got stuck looking at the dolls. You called the police?" He had noticed the look she had given his lover and instinctively took a step closer to the other man.
"I called them, right after I called you. But she hasn't been missing long enough and they won't start doing anything massive about it yet." She looked pretty much desperate, angry and frustrated.
They agreed upon Kaoru's suggestion to search the local places which would be interesting for a child at Mika's age, splitting up and keeping in touch through their mobiles. But no matter where they went or whom they asked, the girl remained missing. Just when they had met again to think about what else they could do, Nozomi's phone rang. She took the call and one could tell by the expression on her face that she was relieved.
"So where is she? This far? Okay. Yes sir. Of course. I'll be there in a minute." She hung up and turned to face her ex-husband. "They found her. Somebody noticed that she was alone and brought her to the police. She told them that she wanted to visit her daddy. What the fuck? That's only your fault. You're spoiling her and try to take her away from me."
First, Kaoru released a relieved sigh. "Thank God." But then, his expression became stern. "What do you mean? I'm not trying to steal her from you. If you can't take good enough care of her and don't have enough time, it's only natural that she wants to go to her dad." They were already making their way to the car to get to the police station. It wasn't far from the underground station near Kaoru's apartment; right in the middle of the city.
"I'm the one who's taking good care of her and trying to raise her and give her a decent home." Nozomi raised her voice, somehow the relief that her daughter was safe now erupted in a fit of anger. "You keep spoiling her, giving her things and try to make ME appear as some kind of monster!"
Die had fallen silent, had been trying not to stir troubles for the whole time and now he tried to practically become invisible, knowing nothing good would come of it if he interfered and lost his temper.
"How the heck am I supposed to spoil her when I only have her every second weekend? Of course we're doing stuff together and of course she gets sweets, but you know that this can't be the reason why she prefers to come to me than to you." Kaoru turned around in his seat, glaring at his ex-wife. "You simply don't listen to her, don't pay her enough attention." He was fuming. How could she accuse him of something like trying to win Mika over for him?
"I am doing my best and giving her all possible attention." Nozomi's voice was getting louder with each passing moment, her anger clearly audible. "Do you think it's easy to bring up a child alone, to take care of everything needed when you're coldly left alone with everything!?"
Kaoru gasped. "Coldly left alone? I took care of everything, pay all your expenses. It's not like I just went out to buy cigs and never came home again. I attend the parent-teacher conferences whenever my schedule allows it, take her to the dentist and all that stuff. Besides," he was yelling too, "you fucking have a new boyfriend as well. What's with him? Doesn't he support you? Then I'm sorry. Maybe you should go and find yourself somebody else then and not take this out on me."
"Maybe you forgot, but YOU are her father and you're supposed to be the one to help taking care of your child. Don't try to wriggle out of the responsibility." Nozomi shifted on her place, looking like she was ready to slap Kaoru. "But maybe you're just too busy with your own love-life and put it above your own child!"
"That's an outrageous lie. I told you a thousand times that you can leave Mika with me during the weeks when I'm home as well, but YOU always refused. For some odd reason, there's always something else you have to do." Kaoru had taken off the seatbelt and kneeled on the seat, almost launching himself at her. "I try to be the best father I can. So don't give me all this shit."
"Maybe it's because I don't want Mika to be with you during the weeks. You're already trying to take her away from me, and how is she supposed to live with you with your irregular job and lifestyle?" The woman was clearly equally agitated, not able to calm down. Die had brought his hand to Kaoru's arm soothingly but now the gesture earned him an angry growl from Nozomi. "And you stay out of this."
"Leave him alone. He has nothing to do with your incapability to deal with the situation," Kaoru snarled, glaring at his ex. "You should rather consider what you want. It's either me taking more care of Mika and help you raising her or me taking her on the weekends only to make sure I can't steal her from you." At that moment, Die steered the car on the parking lot in front of the police-station and stopped the engine.
"You'll still get her every other weekend. It was the deal and I'm not backing away from it." Nozomi almost yelled, although she tried to appear calm and mature in some way. "I don't want her to spend too much time with you two." She practically spat the words out, giving both men an angry glare.
"She's my daughter too. Don't forget that and if I wouldn't have such a stressful work-life, I'd fight for custody. So don't think you can just keep on treating either me or Daisuke like scum. Just deal with things as they are, 'cause they're not going to change soon." Kaoru was too angry to see that the conversation didn't make any sense anymore and even forgot that Mika was waiting inside the police-station to be picked up.
"Don't you even dare suggest you'd want her to live with you! She belongs to her mother and everyone would agree with me when it comes to that." Nozomi made a move to get out of the car, but froze on her seat as Die spoke up. He had been silent throughout the whole argument, but couldn't control his temper anymore. "Not everyone. Kaoru wouldn't have any troubles in bringing her up without you being there bitching and complaining."
The older guitarist turned to face his lover, somehow truly grateful that he had decided to side with him. Nozomi on the other hand snapped completely. "You just shut the fuck up! If it wasn't for you, Kaoru and I would've had a chance maybe. At least he would lead a life where he wouldn't have to hide anything from his daughter."
"I had nothing to do with your marriage breaking apart and you know it!" Die turned to look at the woman completely, clenching his fists until his knuckles turned white as he tried to control himself. "You just need someone to blame, and it's fine. Go ahead and hate me, but don't you dare to try mess up things between Kao and Mika."
"Of course you had something to do with the marriage failing. You've been waiting in the shadows all the time until the right moment to sneak into our lives again. I could never stand you."
Kaoru grit his teeth and closed his eyes for a moment. This was all so wrong. "Shut the fuck up, Nozomi. Don't mess with my life and don't use Mika to get your will." In an annoyed gesture, he exited the car, slamming the door shut behind him. "And maybe, only if the noble lady considers it worthy, we should release our daughter."
"Maybe you would be willing to break your best friend's marriage to get what you want," Die spoke lowly, staring straight at the woman who was still sitting on her place like petrified. "But I wouldn't." He knew he was only inches away from strangling her, and therefore followed the older guitarist's example and got out of the car before he could do something he'd regret later.
When he was close enough, Kaoru grabbed his arm, holding onto him for the anger and the fear he had just gone through made him tremble. The two men marched ahead, hearing Nozomi's steps following close behind.
Inside the police station, the officer at duty instantly realized that those were the parents of the lost child as one could clearly read it in their faces. Kaoru shortly explained everything and then they were led into the room where Mika was playing with a toy car. "Thank God." All three grown ups instantly knelt down next to her, Kaoru pulling her into his arms. Only shortly though before he let go to give Nozomi the chance as well. At the moment they spotted the child, all the anger seemed to have faded as they saw what the most important thing was.
Die gave the girl a wide, relieved smile as well, but staid a step behind her parents as he sensed that they needed this moment after all the stress. Mika seemed to be completely calm, although one could see from the traces on her face that she had been crying earlier. The police had taken good care of her though, had given her some juice and someone had always been there to keep her company up until now.
"Listen young lady," Kaoru started after the first moment of relief was over, "don't you ever do this again. You're not supposed to run around alone. You have to wait at school till your mom picks you up and when she's late, you call her or me, but you can't just run around and try to get to my place all alone."
"But I know the way!" Mika tried, giving her father a tentative smile. "At least... I usually do."
The expression on her face, almost defiant, made Kaoru smile. "Still, you're not allowed to get to my apartment alone. We've all been worried to death. So be a good girl and promise me that you never ever go anywhere without telling one of us."
"I promise." The girl nodded reaching to give her father a hug. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that."
"And you know that one has to keep his promises, right?" Smiling, Kaoru got back up on his feet, caressing the girl's head lovingly. "But now you go home with your mom, okay?" He looked at Nozomi, kind of like silently agreeing on a truce for the time being.
Nozomi got up as well, even managing a small smile as she took the girl's hand in hers. Mika still turned to look at Kaoru though before leaving anywhere. "And I can come and see you next weekend, right?"
"Of course you can, sweetheart. I will pick you up on Friday right after school," he promised nodding. Now that he saw her again right in front of himself, alive and healthy, he felt pretty exhausted but relieved at the same time.
"Cool!" Mika was obviously enthusiastic. "See you then!" She waved at both guitarists as her mom led her out of the room, smiling brightly at them.
Kaoru released a huge sigh. "Gosh... it's hard to be a dad." He leaned against the other man a bit now that his wife and daughter were gone. "And now I could use a cold beer and a smoke."
"You look like it too." Die chuckled, sneaking an arm around the other man's waist and pulled him closer for a second before letting go again. "Let's go home and get you that beer."
The drive home was much more relaxed, both men remaining silent. But shortly before they reached Kaoru's apartment, the older man turned his head to look at his lover. "I'm sorry she's blaming you. I know you've been just as worried as we have. She's just so fucking unfair at times."
"I guess it's just normal." The redhead gave the other man a smile, glancing at him briefly. "I just hope she doesn't try to mess anything up since she's jealous because you and Mika are so close."
"I don't think so. At least I hope not. And there's not pretty much she can do about it anyways. Somehow I can even understand that she's having problems with me being all happy again within such a short time." Kaoru sighed, leaning his head against the seat. "But she'll get over it."
"She will. And you deserve to be happy, trust me." Die smiled honestly, before directing his attention to parking the car since they were already beside the apartment complex.
"You make me happy." Kaoru smiled, leaned over and pecked his lover's cheek before he exited the car and took a few steps into the direction of the apartment. It was true, he was happy, basically. Of course there were moments when he felt like everything was crushing down on him, when he had doubts if he was a good father, but whenever that happened, Die was there for him.
The words made a warm feeling spread inside the redhead, and he couldn't help but to smile. At least their relationship seemed to be only growing stronger. "And I will make you even happier when I'll get you the cold beer in a second." He took a few running steps to catch up with the other man.
"So you'll serve me? Sounds just perfect." The older guitarist grinned. They were walking side by side, shoulders almost touching and just that small fact caused a good feeling inside Kaoru. Once inside the apartment, he took off his shoes and jacket, plopping down on the couch. "I'm ready..."
"Aye, sir, your drink will follow in a second." Die chuckled and headed straight to kitchen, grabbing two cold beers from the fridge before returning back to his lover and took a seat beside him, offering him one of the bottles.
Gratefully, Kaoru took it and instantly downed half of it in one huge gulp. It had been a long day for both guitarists, being at the studio in the early morning and then the stress with finding Mika. Kaoru shifted a bit, putting his legs on the redhead's lap and closed his eyes contently. "That's good. Heaven almost."
"Almost?" The younger man grinned, relaxing completely on his seat and just enjoyed the way the stress was melting away. "What would make it heaven then?"
"If we wouldn't have to get up tomorrow, something to eat, a nice massage and maybe a little shag," the other one answered with a smirk, peeking at his lover from the corner of his eye.
"I can grant you everything else but we still have to get up tomorrow." Die patted his lover's legs which were resting on his lap, before taking a long sip from his drink. "I'm sorry."
"I appreciate the offer pumpkin-pie," Kaoru teased, his eyes closed again, "but I think despite the pizza and the massage, I might be too tired for the rest..."
"Aw, too bad." The redhead laughed. "But we could start with those two, maybe you gain your strength back still."
"Depends on how good your massage will be." The older guitarist smiled and turned to look at his lover. Suddenly, he became serious. "I've been so friggin' afraid. I will definitely get her a mobile for emergencies."
"Do that. But she at least promised not to do that again and she's a reliable girl." Die smiled, again patting the other man's legs as he didn't feel like reaching further, it would've been too much effort.
"But she's also a child and tends to forget things," Kaoru pointed out. "But you're right. She's totally like her father. Responsible, gorgeous, strong minded, the natural born leader..."
"And self confident." The younger man had to add to the list, a grin tugging his lips.
"That's a matter of course." In a sudden movement, Kaoru raised the effort to lift himself up and move over to sit on his lover's lap. "She's just like her dad."
"Well, I can't argue with that." Die sneaked his arms around the smaller man's waist, resting his head against his shoulder. "You're both awesome persons."
"I love you," the older man mumbled, pressing his face into the crook of the other man's shoulder. He closed his eyes, inhaling the familiar scent which always made him feel like home. They had reached a level of their relationship where everything just came natural and if it hadn't been for Kaoru's ex-wife, it could've been perfect.
"I know." The younger one smiled, hugging the other a bit tighter for a moment, before turning his head to press a chaste kiss on the older man's hair. "Love you too."
Author:
seinen_no and fonulynRating: NC17 overall
Pairing: Die and Kaoru
Disclaimer: We own no one, only our dirty imaginations.
Summary: When Kaoru and his wife get a divorce, he is forced to leave his little daughter to live with her mother when he’s moving out. He finds support in his best friend, but is friendship everything life has in store for them? Or is their past together going to resurface now that Kaoru’s life has been turned upside down?
Comments:
seinen_no: Well well well, what would you do if you found out your ex-husband is with his former boyfriend again after you broke up? You can find out if you read this chapter x) And now if that wasn't a good teaser, I have no idea what would be. Sorry dears. I'm dead tired and that has the same effect on me like being drunk. I hope you still have fun reading^^
fonulyn: Gosh, I have nothing to say right now XD I’m braindead. Just, enjoy! I know I did when we wrote this^^And feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive .
Previously happened: Part 1, Part 2
Chapter 3
Thankfully they had a couple of free days now though, that gave them time to get adjusted into the new situation themselves before they would be telling others about it. Although they were somewhat insecure, still both kind of fearing that it was too good to be true, they also felt somehow like coming back home. Things worked out almost frighteningly smoothly in the beginning. The expected, and moreover feared, stumbling blocks staying away.
They spent their free days together in Kaoru's new apartment, Die helping him to unpack the last boxes and it didn't take long until they felt as if they had never broken up in the first place. There was just this certain basic trust between them which had been there during their first try to lead a relationship as much as during the years of their friendship.
When they had to get back to work and met the others in the small studio, they instantly burst out with the news, both too happy to hide it. The initial reaction of their friends was something along the lines 'we should've known it', along with some friendly teasing and constant jokes for a couple of days. One could see though that the three other bandmembers were happy for their friends, trusting that they would be mature enough to handle this well and do only good for each other eventually.
Besides, their split-up had never really affected the band's work, nor their friendship, so they were certain the guitarists would be able to keep it that way. It was a relief for Die and Kaoru that they could be themselves around their bandmates since, whenever outside their apartments, they had to behave. But being as much in love as they were would've made it impossible to act like nothing had changed even around their friends.
During Mika's first visits, Die staid away and spent the weekend in his own apartment or hung out with his friends. Kaoru simply wanted to be there for the girl alone. His lover understood that without it needing lots of words. But soon, after the first couple of months, Die was there more often as well and they did things together with the little girl. It just happened naturally and no one seemed to have anything against it.
Die would've been ready to stay away still if Kaoru had asked him to, but somehow they figured that it would be natural for Mika to see her dad's friends as well, and since she liked Die a lot it didn't appear as a problem of any kind. The girl even told her mother enthusiastically about what she had done during the weekends, and although Nozomi noted how much the redhead seemed to hang around with them, she kept quiet and didn't say a word.
Sometimes, when they had to work on the weekends where Kaoru had Mika, he took her with him to the studio. He was grateful that his girl was already quite responsible and easily to keep busy which made things a lot easier for him. Besides, Kyo, Toshiya and Shinya loved her to death and spoiled her by giving her toys and sweets, not bothering for her father's objections. Usually, Kaoru dropped the girl at her mother's apartment on Sundays, but sometimes, when the time didn't allow it or Nozomi was around anyways, she also picked her up.
They still didn't get along too well, but kept their personal differences down for the child's sake. Still they didn't talk more than the necessary and only exchanged a few words when they saw each other. Somehow Nozomi was growing curious though, because Mika had begun to talk about Die more often lately, and it seemed that he was there almost every weekend with the two. So as she came to pick up the girl one Sunday, she paid some extra attention to her ex-husband's apartment. First only subconsciously, but her curiosity was a driving force.
She was with a friend and when they were already about to leave, she turned to her. "Could you take Mika to the car already? I need to go to the toilet and will follow in a moment." The woman left after Kaoru had said goodbye to his daughter. While his ex-wife headed for the bathroom, he sat down on the couch and switched on the TV, hoping she'd leave soon because Die had only gone to buy some groceries and they had never gotten along particularly well.
It only took a short moment before Nozomi appeared back in the living room, casting a pondering glance at her ex-husband. "You seem to have two toothbrushes nowadays..." She didn't know how to begin to talk about it, seeing that they weren't exactly friendly again with each other, only polite, but she was somehow agitated and needed to get it out.
Kaoru looked at her, somewhat puzzled. "What?" he asked annoyed and then rolled his eyes to show her it was none of her business. She could've guessed that he would end up with somebody again sooner or later, so he only shrugged. "That's because one of it isn't mine."
"I suppose the second shaver isn't yours either?" The woman pushed on, her eyes fixed on the guitarist's form.
That comment caused Kaoru's heart to skip a beat and an unpleasant feeling in his stomach. Still, he nodded. "Right, it's not mine either."
Seeing that he admitted that so easily, Nozomi decided to try her luck and went straight to her suspicions. "Are you again together with Die?"
Kaoru fell silent for a moment, but it only took him mere seconds before he nodded. "Yes." He hadn't intended to hide his relationship from her, but hadn't seen the necessity to make huge fuzz about it either. If Nozomi hadn't had problems with Die in the beginning, he would've probably told her already. But he was dependant on her because of Mika and so he had avoided the topic thus far.
"Right. I should've known it!" She didn't exactly seem to take it calm and threw her hands up in defeat. "You were probably thinking of him throughout the whole friggin' marriage! You son of a bitch just used me, fooled me like this!" If she had thought about it for a moment, she would've known that it wasn't the case, that no one else had anything to do with the failure of their marriage but the two of them. They were simply not made for each other.
Kaoru pursed his lips and released a deep sigh. He had seen that coming and constantly told himself to remain calm and not take it personally. Still, he had to defend himself and looked at her blankly. "You know that's not the case. I only now realized that I love him. It has nothing to do with us and our marriage. I loved you too back then, but it's over now. So what does it matter with whom I'm together? I know you have somebody else as well, somebody from work. Do I make big fuzz about it and accuse you that this thing has been going for longer already? No. So please don't blame me for things I didn't do." He wasn't so sure if he had ever honestly loved her though, but that didn't matter at that moment.
"It's different, Kaoru!" Her eyes were flaming as she stared at him, even clenching her fists. "You told me that he was past for you, but now it seems that it wasn't the truth. You were just indecisive, and happened to ruin my life with it as well, thank you!"
"I ruined your life?" Kaoru raised his voice, staring at her disbelieving. "I did everything I could for you and I never ever cheated on you throughout all those years, so don't pretend I did. I just can't help that we got back together, I even don't want to. But I swear that there was nothing between us while we were married."
"Did everything you could for me?" It was Nozomi's turn to look disbelieving. "Bullshit. Your friends and your band were always more important to you than me. Always."
"The band paid for the apartment, your food, your beauty treatments, the car and the holidays. I'm sorry that it's a time-consuming job, but you fucking knew that already when we got together. And I didn't do half as much with the guys while we were married than before Besides," slowly, Kaoru was getting agitated too and even stood up from the couch, "it's friggin' impossible to lead a decent conversation with you for you just don't understand my problems."
"Your problems? You think I don't have problems then?" She shook her head, taking a few steps as she was obviously agitated. "And don't you see I feel betrayed now that it looks like you were still just hanging on to someone else throughout our whole marriage?"
"I understand that." Kaoru nodded, his voice more quiet again. "And I am sorry, deeply sorry. I'm sorry that our marriage didn't work out, I'm sorry that we always seem to have lived in completely different worlds, I really am. But I can't apologize for being with him again for I didn't do anything wrong. It just happened and there was nothing I could do about it."
Slowly Nozomi was beginning to get a grip on herself, nodding at the words a few times. "Mika doesn't know?" She finally spoke up after a long moment of silence, glancing at her former husband.
"No. I think she's too young to understand and I don't want her to get picked on in case she accidentally tells others." The guitarist instantly was calm again, looking at his ex-wife almost pleadingly. "She thinks Die's only my friend and I won't do anything to change that soon."
"Alright. I won't say anything either." She agreed, nodding a bit to confirm her words. "It's probably best for her not to know now."
"Thanks." Kaoru honestly meant it. Slowly, he stepped towards her, trying to guide her to the door. Under no circumstances did he want her to bump into Die now since it would certainly lead to another argument. His lover was quite sultry and he definitely wouldn't be half as calm when she attacked him as she had done with him.
They didn't talk much anymore before Nozomi hurried away, already thinking what she could say to explain why it had taken so long. She wasn't gone a moment too early, since almost at the same time when the car drove off, Die appeared back to the apartment. He found Kaoru sitting on the couch, the smile he gave him somehow looking forced. "Hi. You were quick."
"Yeah..." Die frowned, noticing that there was something off in the situation. He set everything he was holding down on the table and then headed towards his lover. "Something happened? You look pale..."
"It's nothing really." Again, the older man smiled wearily. "Only that Nozomi snapped when she found out that I'm with you again. I am surprised that she calmed down quite quickly though, but maybe it's only because Mika and her friend were waiting in the car. I don't know."
"She snapped at you?" The redhead's frown deepened considerably as he sat down beside the other. "It should be none of her business if you're going on with your life."
"Well," Kaoru sighed deeply, looking into his lover's eyes, "I kinda understand her. She thinks I've been fooling her all the time and only wanted to be with you."
"But that's unfair." Die instinctively raised his hand to touch the other man's cheek. "She should know that you were always honest to her."
"I think she does know. But she's angry at me and I'm kinda agitated too, so it's not easy to dodge an argument." For a moment, the older guitarist closed his eyes, leaning a bit more into the touch. But suddenly, his head snapped back up. "You're not angry at me for telling her, right? I just didn't see a sense in denying it."
"Of course not." The younger man smiled, honestly this time and even leaned in to peck Kaoru's lips. "I fully trust your judgement when it comes to that."
The comment elicited a dry chuckle from Kaoru and he shook his head. "I don't know if my judgement is the best though. But thank you." He smiled a bit. "I never wanted to drag you into this, though I should've known that it'd be impossible to avoid it."
"You should know by now that your problems are my problems." Die stated with a grin, winking at the other man. "And the other way around." He grabbed Kaoru's arm and made him get up. "And now I'm gonna make you drown those melancholy thoughts in food, old man."
"Aye sir." Laughing softly, Kaoru followed his lover, but kicked his butt when the comment had fully reached his brain. "I'm only a couple of months older than you..."
"TEN months, love. It's almost a year." The redhead didn't seem to bother, only grinned at the other man over his shoulder and headed to the kitchen.
"So what? A year is nothing." The older guitarist followed quickly after. They had made it a habit to have dinner together whenever Mika had been picked up. Kind of to letting the Sunday die away slowly and enjoy the last moments of togetherness, just cooking something or ordering food from a delivery-service.
"A year is plenty. I'm still young when you'll get wrinkles." The redhead stopped abruptly as they were in the kitchen, turning around to press a quick kiss on the smaller man's forehead, patting his hair. "I'm sorry to break the news for you." It had always been like this and probably would never change. Die teased his lover with his age and Kaoru on his side teased the other with his laziness. They could waltz these conversations back and forth, both knowing that it was only a way to show their affection towards each other.
They managed quite well with their life, leading a relationship and being part-time dads, as well as playing the guitar in a successful band. Although they were either touring or being in the studio for a big part of the year, Mika always came first and when she was there, Kaoru and Die tried to spend as much time with her as possible. She was a clever girl, grew up quite fast, but to Kaoru, she would always stay his little baby-girl. Mika loved it when she was allowed to come to the studio with them, because the others were like three uncles, trying to surpass each other in being the coolest, the most generous and favoured.
Shinya seemed to be determined to teach her how to play drums and Kaoru inwardly thanked the lord that she was too old already to dig out some pots in the kitchen, grab two spoons and just bang on them. Although she was definitely talented in a way, Kaoru didn't want her to become a musician, seeing how hard it was to live on that. But Mika was still too young to think about her future yet. She still loved her barbie dolls, Disney movies and visiting the playground with her friends in the afternoons.
A lot of her stuff was gathered at Kaoru's place as well eventually, including practically everything from her dolls to her clothes. And she seemed to be almost always in a good mood, happy whenever she got to see her dad. Die got along with Mika really well too, always had. He still had this playful side in his nature, and he had always been willing to play with the girl ever since she had been born. Still, sometimes he staid away, gave Kaoru the chance to spend some time alone with his daughter every now and then.
Everything seemed to be going smoothly, almost too good to be true even since all the expected stumbling stones and troubles were staying away. It was a normal Thursday evening, and Die and Kaoru had just arrived at Kaoru's apartment after a long day of work when Nozomi called all suddenly. She was almost hysterical, telling her ex-husband to come there instantly. Their daughter had disappeared.
Kaoru tried to remain calm and think straight, only asked what had happened. Nozomi told him that she had been a little late to pick the girl up from school and when she had arrived there, the girl had been gone. It was a matter of course that Kaoru and Die went straight to the school to start looking all over the familiar places. The phone pinned between his ear and his shoulder, Kaoru bent down to lace his shoes. He was angry, fuming that his ex-wife had been late, but he swallowed every possible accusation for the time being and instead asked. "Did you call her friends and looked at her favourite places? Maybe she just went to the shop to buy sweets." While he was talking, he and Die already left the apartment to head for the car.
"I called her friends, yes." Nozomi was trying hard to control her voice and to simply stop panicking although she was close to tears. "And I went to look in the shops, but no one has seen her there. Maybe I should come to the school as well?" For a moment she had almost forgotten that she was still angry at her ex-husband, as now all she could think of was her daughter.
"Do that. We'll be at the school in twenty minutes. And Nozomi," Kaoru just entered the passenger seat of the car while Die took the driving-seat, "did you go home to see if she's there? Maybe she got bored and went home alone."
"I did. Do you think I'm stupid or something?" Her voice was high pitched although she tried not to shout too loud. "I'll be at the school in no time. Meet me there."
Giving an agreeing noise, Kaoru hung up. "That goddamn bitch!" He hit the dashboard with his fist. "She friggin’ works 4 hours and that only three days a week, just for fun and then she's too stupid to pick Mika up on time. What if a pervert has taken her with him? What if she got run over by a car?" He released his frustration, giving the instrument panel another kick with his foot.
"Calm down, Kao!" Die kept his eyes on the road, trying to concentrate on driving so that they'd get there as soon as possible. "You're not doing any good by panicking. She's fine, and we will find her."
"I fucking am calm!" The older man growled. "She's too young to run around alone. There's danger everywhere. What if she gets lost and doesn't know where to turn? God damn it." He took a deep breath, trying to get a hold of himself, staring out of the front window. "Can't this sucker make way? We're in a hurry, you asshole." He kept on swearing at the other drivers for quite some time before he finally fell silent again.
The redhead kept silent, just trying to bring them to Mika's school as soon as possible. He knew there was no sense in trying to talk to Kaoru right now, and he simply ignored his outbursts and let him get out some steam. It felt like an eternity before they were finally there, although in reality it hadn't been such a long drive.
Nozomi was already waiting before the front-gate and Kaoru marched towards her, still not really calm. "Heard anything yet?" He was glad that Die was there as well, the redhead's presence somehow soothing him although one couldn't really see it.
"No." Nozomi shook her head, giving the redhead a murderous glare as soon as she noticed him. She didn't say anything though, only directed her attention back at their missing child. "I talked to her teacher, and he just said she left the classroom like always and after that he hasn't seen her."
"Okay," Kaoru nodded, thinking for a moment. "I'd say we search the local playgrounds and toy-stores and such. Maybe she just got stuck looking at the dolls. You called the police?" He had noticed the look she had given his lover and instinctively took a step closer to the other man.
"I called them, right after I called you. But she hasn't been missing long enough and they won't start doing anything massive about it yet." She looked pretty much desperate, angry and frustrated.
They agreed upon Kaoru's suggestion to search the local places which would be interesting for a child at Mika's age, splitting up and keeping in touch through their mobiles. But no matter where they went or whom they asked, the girl remained missing. Just when they had met again to think about what else they could do, Nozomi's phone rang. She took the call and one could tell by the expression on her face that she was relieved.
"So where is she? This far? Okay. Yes sir. Of course. I'll be there in a minute." She hung up and turned to face her ex-husband. "They found her. Somebody noticed that she was alone and brought her to the police. She told them that she wanted to visit her daddy. What the fuck? That's only your fault. You're spoiling her and try to take her away from me."
First, Kaoru released a relieved sigh. "Thank God." But then, his expression became stern. "What do you mean? I'm not trying to steal her from you. If you can't take good enough care of her and don't have enough time, it's only natural that she wants to go to her dad." They were already making their way to the car to get to the police station. It wasn't far from the underground station near Kaoru's apartment; right in the middle of the city.
"I'm the one who's taking good care of her and trying to raise her and give her a decent home." Nozomi raised her voice, somehow the relief that her daughter was safe now erupted in a fit of anger. "You keep spoiling her, giving her things and try to make ME appear as some kind of monster!"
Die had fallen silent, had been trying not to stir troubles for the whole time and now he tried to practically become invisible, knowing nothing good would come of it if he interfered and lost his temper.
"How the heck am I supposed to spoil her when I only have her every second weekend? Of course we're doing stuff together and of course she gets sweets, but you know that this can't be the reason why she prefers to come to me than to you." Kaoru turned around in his seat, glaring at his ex-wife. "You simply don't listen to her, don't pay her enough attention." He was fuming. How could she accuse him of something like trying to win Mika over for him?
"I am doing my best and giving her all possible attention." Nozomi's voice was getting louder with each passing moment, her anger clearly audible. "Do you think it's easy to bring up a child alone, to take care of everything needed when you're coldly left alone with everything!?"
Kaoru gasped. "Coldly left alone? I took care of everything, pay all your expenses. It's not like I just went out to buy cigs and never came home again. I attend the parent-teacher conferences whenever my schedule allows it, take her to the dentist and all that stuff. Besides," he was yelling too, "you fucking have a new boyfriend as well. What's with him? Doesn't he support you? Then I'm sorry. Maybe you should go and find yourself somebody else then and not take this out on me."
"Maybe you forgot, but YOU are her father and you're supposed to be the one to help taking care of your child. Don't try to wriggle out of the responsibility." Nozomi shifted on her place, looking like she was ready to slap Kaoru. "But maybe you're just too busy with your own love-life and put it above your own child!"
"That's an outrageous lie. I told you a thousand times that you can leave Mika with me during the weeks when I'm home as well, but YOU always refused. For some odd reason, there's always something else you have to do." Kaoru had taken off the seatbelt and kneeled on the seat, almost launching himself at her. "I try to be the best father I can. So don't give me all this shit."
"Maybe it's because I don't want Mika to be with you during the weeks. You're already trying to take her away from me, and how is she supposed to live with you with your irregular job and lifestyle?" The woman was clearly equally agitated, not able to calm down. Die had brought his hand to Kaoru's arm soothingly but now the gesture earned him an angry growl from Nozomi. "And you stay out of this."
"Leave him alone. He has nothing to do with your incapability to deal with the situation," Kaoru snarled, glaring at his ex. "You should rather consider what you want. It's either me taking more care of Mika and help you raising her or me taking her on the weekends only to make sure I can't steal her from you." At that moment, Die steered the car on the parking lot in front of the police-station and stopped the engine.
"You'll still get her every other weekend. It was the deal and I'm not backing away from it." Nozomi almost yelled, although she tried to appear calm and mature in some way. "I don't want her to spend too much time with you two." She practically spat the words out, giving both men an angry glare.
"She's my daughter too. Don't forget that and if I wouldn't have such a stressful work-life, I'd fight for custody. So don't think you can just keep on treating either me or Daisuke like scum. Just deal with things as they are, 'cause they're not going to change soon." Kaoru was too angry to see that the conversation didn't make any sense anymore and even forgot that Mika was waiting inside the police-station to be picked up.
"Don't you even dare suggest you'd want her to live with you! She belongs to her mother and everyone would agree with me when it comes to that." Nozomi made a move to get out of the car, but froze on her seat as Die spoke up. He had been silent throughout the whole argument, but couldn't control his temper anymore. "Not everyone. Kaoru wouldn't have any troubles in bringing her up without you being there bitching and complaining."
The older guitarist turned to face his lover, somehow truly grateful that he had decided to side with him. Nozomi on the other hand snapped completely. "You just shut the fuck up! If it wasn't for you, Kaoru and I would've had a chance maybe. At least he would lead a life where he wouldn't have to hide anything from his daughter."
"I had nothing to do with your marriage breaking apart and you know it!" Die turned to look at the woman completely, clenching his fists until his knuckles turned white as he tried to control himself. "You just need someone to blame, and it's fine. Go ahead and hate me, but don't you dare to try mess up things between Kao and Mika."
"Of course you had something to do with the marriage failing. You've been waiting in the shadows all the time until the right moment to sneak into our lives again. I could never stand you."
Kaoru grit his teeth and closed his eyes for a moment. This was all so wrong. "Shut the fuck up, Nozomi. Don't mess with my life and don't use Mika to get your will." In an annoyed gesture, he exited the car, slamming the door shut behind him. "And maybe, only if the noble lady considers it worthy, we should release our daughter."
"Maybe you would be willing to break your best friend's marriage to get what you want," Die spoke lowly, staring straight at the woman who was still sitting on her place like petrified. "But I wouldn't." He knew he was only inches away from strangling her, and therefore followed the older guitarist's example and got out of the car before he could do something he'd regret later.
When he was close enough, Kaoru grabbed his arm, holding onto him for the anger and the fear he had just gone through made him tremble. The two men marched ahead, hearing Nozomi's steps following close behind.
Inside the police station, the officer at duty instantly realized that those were the parents of the lost child as one could clearly read it in their faces. Kaoru shortly explained everything and then they were led into the room where Mika was playing with a toy car. "Thank God." All three grown ups instantly knelt down next to her, Kaoru pulling her into his arms. Only shortly though before he let go to give Nozomi the chance as well. At the moment they spotted the child, all the anger seemed to have faded as they saw what the most important thing was.
Die gave the girl a wide, relieved smile as well, but staid a step behind her parents as he sensed that they needed this moment after all the stress. Mika seemed to be completely calm, although one could see from the traces on her face that she had been crying earlier. The police had taken good care of her though, had given her some juice and someone had always been there to keep her company up until now.
"Listen young lady," Kaoru started after the first moment of relief was over, "don't you ever do this again. You're not supposed to run around alone. You have to wait at school till your mom picks you up and when she's late, you call her or me, but you can't just run around and try to get to my place all alone."
"But I know the way!" Mika tried, giving her father a tentative smile. "At least... I usually do."
The expression on her face, almost defiant, made Kaoru smile. "Still, you're not allowed to get to my apartment alone. We've all been worried to death. So be a good girl and promise me that you never ever go anywhere without telling one of us."
"I promise." The girl nodded reaching to give her father a hug. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that."
"And you know that one has to keep his promises, right?" Smiling, Kaoru got back up on his feet, caressing the girl's head lovingly. "But now you go home with your mom, okay?" He looked at Nozomi, kind of like silently agreeing on a truce for the time being.
Nozomi got up as well, even managing a small smile as she took the girl's hand in hers. Mika still turned to look at Kaoru though before leaving anywhere. "And I can come and see you next weekend, right?"
"Of course you can, sweetheart. I will pick you up on Friday right after school," he promised nodding. Now that he saw her again right in front of himself, alive and healthy, he felt pretty exhausted but relieved at the same time.
"Cool!" Mika was obviously enthusiastic. "See you then!" She waved at both guitarists as her mom led her out of the room, smiling brightly at them.
Kaoru released a huge sigh. "Gosh... it's hard to be a dad." He leaned against the other man a bit now that his wife and daughter were gone. "And now I could use a cold beer and a smoke."
"You look like it too." Die chuckled, sneaking an arm around the other man's waist and pulled him closer for a second before letting go again. "Let's go home and get you that beer."
The drive home was much more relaxed, both men remaining silent. But shortly before they reached Kaoru's apartment, the older man turned his head to look at his lover. "I'm sorry she's blaming you. I know you've been just as worried as we have. She's just so fucking unfair at times."
"I guess it's just normal." The redhead gave the other man a smile, glancing at him briefly. "I just hope she doesn't try to mess anything up since she's jealous because you and Mika are so close."
"I don't think so. At least I hope not. And there's not pretty much she can do about it anyways. Somehow I can even understand that she's having problems with me being all happy again within such a short time." Kaoru sighed, leaning his head against the seat. "But she'll get over it."
"She will. And you deserve to be happy, trust me." Die smiled honestly, before directing his attention to parking the car since they were already beside the apartment complex.
"You make me happy." Kaoru smiled, leaned over and pecked his lover's cheek before he exited the car and took a few steps into the direction of the apartment. It was true, he was happy, basically. Of course there were moments when he felt like everything was crushing down on him, when he had doubts if he was a good father, but whenever that happened, Die was there for him.
The words made a warm feeling spread inside the redhead, and he couldn't help but to smile. At least their relationship seemed to be only growing stronger. "And I will make you even happier when I'll get you the cold beer in a second." He took a few running steps to catch up with the other man.
"So you'll serve me? Sounds just perfect." The older guitarist grinned. They were walking side by side, shoulders almost touching and just that small fact caused a good feeling inside Kaoru. Once inside the apartment, he took off his shoes and jacket, plopping down on the couch. "I'm ready..."
"Aye, sir, your drink will follow in a second." Die chuckled and headed straight to kitchen, grabbing two cold beers from the fridge before returning back to his lover and took a seat beside him, offering him one of the bottles.
Gratefully, Kaoru took it and instantly downed half of it in one huge gulp. It had been a long day for both guitarists, being at the studio in the early morning and then the stress with finding Mika. Kaoru shifted a bit, putting his legs on the redhead's lap and closed his eyes contently. "That's good. Heaven almost."
"Almost?" The younger man grinned, relaxing completely on his seat and just enjoyed the way the stress was melting away. "What would make it heaven then?"
"If we wouldn't have to get up tomorrow, something to eat, a nice massage and maybe a little shag," the other one answered with a smirk, peeking at his lover from the corner of his eye.
"I can grant you everything else but we still have to get up tomorrow." Die patted his lover's legs which were resting on his lap, before taking a long sip from his drink. "I'm sorry."
"I appreciate the offer pumpkin-pie," Kaoru teased, his eyes closed again, "but I think despite the pizza and the massage, I might be too tired for the rest..."
"Aw, too bad." The redhead laughed. "But we could start with those two, maybe you gain your strength back still."
"Depends on how good your massage will be." The older guitarist smiled and turned to look at his lover. Suddenly, he became serious. "I've been so friggin' afraid. I will definitely get her a mobile for emergencies."
"Do that. But she at least promised not to do that again and she's a reliable girl." Die smiled, again patting the other man's legs as he didn't feel like reaching further, it would've been too much effort.
"But she's also a child and tends to forget things," Kaoru pointed out. "But you're right. She's totally like her father. Responsible, gorgeous, strong minded, the natural born leader..."
"And self confident." The younger man had to add to the list, a grin tugging his lips.
"That's a matter of course." In a sudden movement, Kaoru raised the effort to lift himself up and move over to sit on his lover's lap. "She's just like her dad."
"Well, I can't argue with that." Die sneaked his arms around the smaller man's waist, resting his head against his shoulder. "You're both awesome persons."
"I love you," the older man mumbled, pressing his face into the crook of the other man's shoulder. He closed his eyes, inhaling the familiar scent which always made him feel like home. They had reached a level of their relationship where everything just came natural and if it hadn't been for Kaoru's ex-wife, it could've been perfect.
"I know." The younger one smiled, hugging the other a bit tighter for a moment, before turning his head to press a chaste kiss on the older man's hair. "Love you too."
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Even with the kid missing and the ex from hell bitching the whole story is still so sweet!
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That fight was agitating, even I was about to shout, but the end was just so adorable. Will Mika get to know about them too? Soon? Will Nozomi be a good woman and shut the fuck up? Or will she be a bitch? I know you won't tell me, but what about a hint? A hint never hurts, you know... ÓÒ
But... pumpkin-pie??? --> wtf. XDDD That cracked me up. ^_^
I enjoyed this so awfully much, you wouldn't believe. Just what I needed. Thanks. <3
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Yeah, pumpkin-pie. Ask Pia x) I have nothing to do with that XD
Thanks for your comment dear :D It's always special to know you liked!
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Meh, pumpkin-pie is utterly adorable. I will have to keep it in mind.
Welcomiiies.^^
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Do that XD I think it sounds... sweet. More than sweet XD I'm hungry.
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I never ate pumpkin pie. Maybe I should try some? But at least I know that the name fits Die. <3
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Well, I dunno if pumpkin pie tasts so good. C'mon, it's still pumpkin, who likes that? But then, I ate some sort of cake made of it and it tasted utterly delicious. Okay, and the name kinda fits Die. Not only because of the colour of pumpkins, but Marjo's Die loves to play the dull one (because then Kao spares him from doing too much brain-work) and so it fits too. Remember, Al Bundy calls Kelly 'pumpkin' in the english version. Although I like her German name way better, but that wouldn't fit our sweet Die^^
Okay, and I think I just don't make sense here. But damnit, it's almost 8am in the morning, I'm up since five and I didn't get much sleep x)
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I don't think I ever tasted pumpkin anywhere, but it might be that I just don't remember. I've begun to forget a lotta things lately XD Must be me getting old. *coughs* And Die doesn't play dull. That's a false accusation 8D Oh, and I didn't remember that it was Kelly's nickname before you mentioned it... how do you call her in German then?
Aw, poor you *hugs* I didn't sleep well either, I think I'm coming down with a flu. My nose is runny and my head feels heavy. I can't breathe through my nose anymore so sleeping is kinda hard x) Still can't wait to meet you later!
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Well, most pumpkin dishes just are bitter and I don't like them.
Aw hun, I can't wait to meet you either (it's stressful here and I'm dead tired already). And it sucks that you're getting a cold. I hope it won't get worse. You have to tell me then so that I grant you the needed rest!
Hey hey, you could've met her too! And next year, you will!
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Well, I just think it's massively cute to call Die pumpkin-pie. ^_^ And then I imagine using the German term and it makes me giggle. I am tempted to steal and use it. xD Just to imagine Kao coming up with something like that is extemely sweet, makes my teeth hurt like woah and me turn into some gootchie gootchie fangirl mode. *sighs*
Do I ever make sense? O_O Do drugs, not sense. XD Gonna smoke my pumpkin pie pipe... :B
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Heh, Mika's a cool kid ne? If I ever have one, I want one like her too.
We will update asap, promised.
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ARGH. I can't stand people like her!
I liked it a lot but it just a little bit too rushed. Leaving out so much time...
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But you're right, maybe we should've taken it a little slower.
Thanks for liking it still^^
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But his ex-wife..god, I want to kick her fucking face in. XD And she's fictional. I can't wait to see where the next chapter goes! ^^
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Next chap will follow soon!
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I want the next chap already! *wails like the little kid she can be sometimes* XD
I loved it, it's so real with the fight and everyting.
And yesss 'Pumpkin-pie' cracked me up too.. First I squeed then I read it again and I was like,'LOL' XD
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But Kao was only teasing. He usually doesn't call Die like that (although it would make me laugh tears)^^
Thank you dear, as usual!
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Cant wait for more. :D You know I love it
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More's to come soon and thank you so much for your comment!
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YAY! *waits for more*
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And I think the song "just friends" from amy winehouse suits this ff (okay the first two chapters xD) well♥
*luff*
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Heh, I dunno the song though. Send me!
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okay~ I send it to you x3~ *gos to msn* XD
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I printed all the chaps out and read them right after you posted them, but somehow didn't have the time to comment.
Anyways, this was dramatic. A child getting lost must be a nightmare for any parent.
I felt with Kaoru all the time. During the argument in the car I was about to shout at Nozomi as well. That woman is really getting on my nerves. In the first argument I kind of understood her point, though it doesn't change the fact that she was being unfair.
But in the car she was just being irrational. Both of them actually. You really got that across. The dirty fights after a divorce.
Pumkin-pie is my new favourite nickname for Die. It suits him so well!!!^^
I love how both of them are getting on with each other so well. Die just being there for Kaoru is so lovely and caring. It must be hard to step back and not being able to live a normal live, but I love Die for doing just that. Doing everything for his boyfriend and his daughter. Such a cutie, he is.
The last part of this chapter made me smile. As well as the little part where they are teasing each other.
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I've never witnessed divorce up close since all my close relatives who got married have also staid married x) But I've heard from friends how it is, and it's really just logical that after something like that their relations aren't the best. She's probably not over losing something as gorgeous as Kaoru and acts unfair because of that 8D
Pumpkin-pie just sounds like Die, doesn't it? XD Well, and some situations are probably really hard for Die, but he made a choice that he wanted to be with Kaoru and stand it all^^ And I think he made the right decision.
Thank you for reading! And thanks so much for taking the time to type out all that!
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and his wife...can I kill her? =]
sweety likea candy...
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Thanks again for reading!
Oh, and could I get the original(s) of your icon?
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WOW I'M SO FAR BEHIND.
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hehe, and you're right, Kaos' ex-wife can be such a biaatch. She'll get over it though, once x) Thanks for reading again!
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