rabenhorst (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rabenhorst) wrote2007-08-18 08:50 pm
rabenhorst) wrote2007-08-18 08:50 pm
[fic] Die/Kaoru – Dir en grey - Once In a Lifetime - Chapter 2/6
Title: Once In a Lifetime; Chapter 2
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
seinen_no and fonulyn
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Die and Kaoru
Disclaimer: We own no one, only our dirty imaginations.
Summary: Kaoru and Die meet in a bar, and they end up sharing a passionate night together. It was a mutual agreement that it should be a one night stand, but fate doesn’t always work like that.
Comments:
seinen_no: Heya Dears! I am sorry that we took so long to post the next chapter. It's been my fault, for – as some of you might know already – I've been following Dir en grey around a bit and seen some concerts. That meant a lotta travelling, a lotta fun and practically no sleep in two weeks. But now I'm back and we can go on with the story.
I hope you didn't forget completely what happened and that you're still interested in seeing what's going to happen….
fonulyn: And while someone was having fun touring I was stuck home or at the summerhouse and the only nice thing to do was to edit fics. Well, now I’m lying though XD I had fun too at times, although most of the time I was dying to just drop everything and fly to seinen_no to share some of the fun! Anyways, that has nothing to do with the story 8D
I hope you still remember what’s going on! And if not, there’s a link to the first chap you can follow ;) Enjoy.
And feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Previously happened: Part 1
Once In a Lifetime
Chapter 2
Annoyed, Kyo kicked the leg of the table which stood in front of him and growled. They had been sitting there all day, listening to a dozen of possible guitarists to join their small indies-band. Kisaki, their bassist and leader had spread flyers all over the important music-stores and had placed an AD in two local papers. The response had been enormous since there were a lot of unemployed guitarists around and thus, they were now sitting there, trying to separate the wheat from the chaff.
They, that were Kyo, the small vocalist, Kisaki, their drummer Shinya, a shy thin young man with long hair and finally Daisuke, Die as they called him, the redheaded rhythm guitarist. Neither of them was actually enthusiastic about this, as they had seen dozens of people already, some whom they suspected hadn't seen a guitar before in their lives, judging by how lousy they were, some a bit better but still nothing they would've taken into the band. Die knew he should pay attention. After all, he was the other guitarist in the band and his opinion would weigh a lot when they finally picked the one who would be their new bandmember. Still, he was just toying with his pencil, drawing random patterns on a sheet of paper as another pathetic so-called guitarist tried to show off in front of them.
Somewhere way past two in the afternoon, they took a short break and Kisaki offered to get them something to drink and a small snack. As soon as the door had closed, Kyo turned his head to look at the redhead. "I fucking know better ways to spend a Saturday than to sit here all day long and listen to those pathetic losers. Why on earth did Kisaki have to place an AD in the papers even? Why didn't we do it my style, go into the clubs and see if there's somebody with talent. Then we could've stolen him from another band or so."
"We can't do that since then he would feel less in control of things." Die grinned, leaning his cheek against his palm, having based his elbow on the table. "You know how he wants everything to go like he plans it out." He knew it wasn't exactly a nice thing to say behind the bassist's back, but it was the complete truth.
"He can be so fucking stubborn," the vocalist snarled and toyed with a half smoked cigarette in his hand. They had been smoking way too much just to kill the time while listening to the guitarists who had showed up so far and Shinya, the only non-smoker there, coughed reproachfully. "Go and open a window if it disturbs you," came the answer to the unvoiced question from Kyo. Sighing, the drummer followed the advice, but remained standing at the window and looked outside.
It didn't take long until Kisaki returned with cool drinks and cool pizza as well. Still, they were eating ravenously since they hadn't had any food in quite some time. "So," Kisaki asked and peeked at the list, "there's still some to come. I think this Takahara was quite okay."
"He was mediocre." Die shrugged, taking a long sip from his glass as it was somewhat hot in the room. "We can deal with him for a while, but I would take him only as a temporary fill in." He looked at the bassist tentatively, because he knew that the other didn't like when someone contradicted his decisions. They were all used to it though, and got along well, but still tried to be careful with how they told their opinion occasionally.
"Well," the bassist grinned, "I only said that he was amongst the best so far. It's not like we have to decide today." There was something in his voice that made clear he wouldn't discuss the matter further right at that moment and once they all were finished eating the pizza, the next guitarist was already waiting behind the door. It was frustrating. They were sitting there for more than ten hours already and only had heard three guys which had been remotely okay, but nothing that had swooped them off their feet.
Kyo had pillowed his head on his arms, practically sleeping on the table when the door opened again and a slim man with sharp features and hip-long black hair entered the room, coolly carrying the guitar-bag over his shoulder. He smiled and nodded at everybody, hesitating for a second when his gaze fell upon the redheaded guitarist. 'Fuck!' Kaoru flinched inwardly, but didn't let it show and instead introduced himself shortly, told his name and for how long he had been playing the guitar already.
He had recognized Die instantly as the man with whom he had spent a long night of passion which he would've repeated more than gladly. That fact alone made him nervous, but once he held the guitar in his hands and began to play some riffs, he managed to push that feeling to the background and only focused on his play.
Thankfully no one had paid attention to the redhead's reaction when he saw who entered the room, since at first his eyes flew wide and the next moment he turned pale, his heart thrumming in his throat. So this man played the guitar as well? He managed to somehow collect himself, inhaling deep a few times and just trying to concentrate on listening. Somehow he wasn't surprised when he noticed that this was best they had heard this day, definitely the one he would pick from the bunch of candidates. But why did it have to be this man he had thought he would never see again?
"Could you play some X too, maybe?" Kisaki's voice cut through the air after Kaoru had ended his play. "Sure." Shrugging, the slim guitarist began to play something from one of his anyways favourite bands. In between, he glanced at the redhead and when their gazes met for a split second, his heart stopped beating and he was at the verge of letting this chance to get a job pass-by unused. But he needed a job urgently, had dreamed about a chance like this for what felt forever already.
Although this was a small indies band, it had gained some fame at a local base and the reputation had even left Tokyo's borders already. This could definitely become something big and he would have really wanted to be a part of it. Besides, he was quite sure that he could just push aside the awkward feeling which had appeared after seeing the redhead again. This would definitely cease with time.
Kyo, who had finally looked up again, leaned over to Die. "He's good. Really good..." Absent mindedly Die nodded, his eyes never leaving the guitarist before them. "He is. The best thus far." He knew quality when he saw it, and had to admit the other had talent. Besides, the fact that they had shared one night shouldn't be that big of a deal, right? He was adult enough to cope with it and still work together with him.
After Kaoru was done, he waited for some kind of reaction, for criticism or approval. But all he got was a nod from Kisaki and the usual "We'll call you within the next week." Still, he couldn't deny himself from casting a side-way glance at Die before he left, almost running against the closed door because of it. Yep, this certainly wouldn't be a problem if he only managed to overlook the fact that the young redhead was as attractive in daylight as he was in the dim light of a club.
Die simply stared after the retreating form, absent mindedly noting to himself that Kaoru's butt looked definitely as good as he remembered it would. He didn't even notice he was lost in thoughts before Shinya nudged him, making him snap back to reality. "Die? You alright?" The answer was a hasty nod. "Oh, of course I am."
The next guitarist already entered the room. A lousy loser just like so many before. Luckily, not many followed that evening and they were done soon. "So, I think we sleep a night over this and then discuss it, okay?" Kisaki grinned at his fellow bandmembers, stood up and left without saying anything further.
"You know," Kyo began once the door had slammed shut behind the bassist, "this Kaoru was the best if you ask me and he had something," he hesitated for a moment and finally faced his friend, "determined. I believe he really wants that job."
"He was the best, definitely." Die nodded, agreeing. He thanked his luck that Kaoru had indeed been the best candidate, since he wanted him in the band anyways, somehow unable to let him go now that he had seen him again. "I don't really care what Kisaki has to say. We have to choose him." There was determination in both his eyes and his voice, showing he was dead serious.
"But didn't Kisaki say that there are still three to come another day? Maybe we should wait till we saw those too," Shinya interfered carefully. He usually kept away from struggles within the band, but choosing a guitarist concerned all of them.
"I certainly am siding with Die. I don't feel like hearing some more losers. I'm already half deaf and don't want to risk the other half too," Kyo retorted.
"Besides, what are the chances that there's anyone better amongst the three others?" Die turned to look at the drummer. He was firm, but still far from hostile and tried not to seem too enthusiastic. "Come on, you saw him too. He's awesome."
"He is," Shinya agreed nodding. "And I think he'd fit the band quite well, but it's up to Kisaki to decide how many more we'll see before we take a decision."
Kyo rolled his eyes. "Yeah, and if we leave it all to him, he'll make us listen to every guitar player in the whole wide world before he chooses one."
"But he has to listen to us if we all want Kaoru in." The redhead tried, looking to and fro between his friends, almost pleadingly.
"Did that guy bribe you?" Kyo asked suddenly and there was a dirty smirk dancing on his lips. It was his usual way to tease though and didn't mean that he knew anything nor gave away what he really thought.
"I think we should give Kisaki those three still and then tell him that we all think Kaoru was the best. We could invite him for a jamsession to see how well we work together," Shinya suggested carefully.
"That's a good suggestion," Die patted the drummer's shoulder, his smile widening instantly. "I always knew you were clever." He was hoping that neither of his friends had noticed how he had flinched at the vocalist's question, despite knowing that it had only been a joke and nothing more.
"I'm fine with everything that gives me back my peace," Kyo stated and stood up. He stretched his back and arms, yawning widely. "Hey Die. What about a drink?" Although they got along well, Kyo rarely went out with the others, but for some reason he felt like it that day. Shinya had already agreed upon going somewhere together. Usually, they met at one of their apartments and got plastered, since Shinya was too young to get alcohol at a club.
"Drink sounds just perfect." The redhead smiled instantly. That was exactly what he needed right now, to get over the initial shock seeing his one-night-stand again caused. Usually it wasn't even weird for him when he again saw someone with whom he had shared the bed, but this was different. The memory of that night alone made a shiver run along Die's spine, because he seemed to remember every single detail.
Kaoru had a hard time thinking about if he was really professional enough to work together with Die. Usually, he didn't even really remember the faces of his one-night-stands anymore, but when he thought about the redhead, he even remembered his scent, the taste of his kisses and every single thing they had done that night. Anyhow, he needed and wanted that job and was hoping to get a call within the next week. Besides, if he was working together with Die and got to know him better, he would probably find out that the redhead totally wasn't his type emotionally. That was at least what he told himself.
Die would've wanted to tell Kisaki the next morning that they wanted Kaoru into the band, but he held back and silently watched the three other people who were auditioning to become a part of the band. Those were far from being awesome though, and he knew that at least Kyo and Shinya were on his side, wanting Kaoru as the last bandmember. The redhead was almost holding his breath when the last candidate had left and Kisaki said that this was it, no more tries. He was almost insanely nervous for some reason.
"I'd say, that Takahara and maybe Kaoru would be okay," Kisaki finally stated. Kyo, Shinya and Die were gasping simultaneously in disbelief. Why on earth didn't Kisaki see that Kaoru had been the best of them all? Maybe the bassist just sensed that, with Kaoru, he would get another strong personality into the band and he was fearing the competition as he was already having his fights with Kyo.
"You must be kidding, man!" Die couldn't hold back the comment, staring at the other totally disbelieving. "Kaoru was the best and you know it as well as I do!" He didn't care what the bassist's motives might've been, he simply was determined to get Kaoru into the band.
"I'm only saying that we should invite both of them for a jamsession." Kisaki glared at Die for his sudden outburst.
This time, Kyo spoke up. "Fuck it. We've been wasting enough time. Kaoru was great and I'm certain he would fit, musically and otherwise too. Let's just invite him and when he sucks with the band, we still can consider calling Takahara." He looked almost as fierce as the redhead, but for whole different reasons.
"Okay, okay, this is a common decision." Kisaki lifted his hands soothing. "I call Kaoru and ask him to join practice tomorrow or the day after, okay?"
"Okay." Die relaxed noticeably, nodding approving at the decision. He was sure that things would work out from then on, because this was half of the victory already. He didn't even notice the short glance he got from the drummer, as he was certainly behaving a tad bit weird.
Kaoru couldn't hide the relief in his voice when he agreed upon joining practice the next day already. Instantly, he called the boss of his part-time job and took the day off, honestly hoping that he could quit it completely soon. He had almost forgotten about the awkward feelings when Die and he had met again, but as he stepped into the small practice room early the next day and spotted the redhead, it was back with full force. "Morning," he greeted everybody and Kisaki introduced all of them properly before ordering them to their instruments.
It was hard for Die to take his mind off the other guitarist's presence, and he noticed that his eyes were travelling to Kaoru whenever he didn't watch his own behaviour. Thankfully everyone else was concentrated on the music, so they didn't notice the redhead's slight troubles. He didn't even really notice he was playing himself either, his mind totally directed elsewhere.
Kaoru was too busy to dwell on his thoughts for long, being confronted with four strangers and a bunch of new songs he was supposed to learn. Kisaki seemed to be a strong minded person, definitely a good leader but maybe a bit too strict. At least Kaoru thought that he was the type of guy one could easily argue with at times. Still, he admired his talent and how he kept the band together.
Shinya was an amazing drummer. Kaoru would've never thought that a thin man like he could play this powerful and strong. He easily kept the rhythm and led the band through the songs together with the bassist. Then, there was Kyo with his unique voice and the even more unique way to sing. His lyrics were extraordinary, that he could tell right away. Well, and then there was Die. Talented, with a tendency to play fast and with a smile that still managed to make the other guitarist's heart miss a beat and his knees become weak.
They kept on playing for long, everyone enjoying it somehow, as they instantly seemed to match. They would've never thought things could work out that well the first time they played together. After they stopped, there was a short silence, when no one really knew what to say for the time being.
Surprisingly enough, it was the drummer who broke it, smiling straight at the newcomer. "You're really good." He nodded, appreciatory. Everyone agreed with him, and although they didn't hurry to say anything right away, it was visible in their approving expressions.
"So you approve?" Kaoru asked bluntly into the round but kept his eyes locked on Die's. There was this certain tension between them which hadn't left but which he enjoyed for some reason. Who knew what would come of this?
The redhead already opened his mouth to agree, but in the nick of time got a hold of himself, taking a quick glance at the bassist. Kisaki seemed to ponder still, but slowly nodded nevertheless. "Yeah, I guess we do. You're in."
The smile that appeared on the new guitarist's face was more smug than relieved. In his opinion, there had been no way for them to deny him and he liked them already. They agreed on calling it a day and on meeting the next day again instead. Kisaki asked Kaoru to bring the notes for the songs he had written, since they wanted to take a look at them and then, the bassist left. He had a job beside the band still which demanded a lot of time.
The other four used a few moments still to chat with each other, a shallow conversation but still they kind of wanted to learn to know each other on some level. Die was strangely silent somehow, because his thought were still circling around the awkwardness that was still clear between him and Kaoru.
During the next days Die managed to get a grip of himself and act almost completely normal around the new guitarist. The other bandmembers didn't notice anything strange, but if one looked closely it was clear that there was still some tension between the guitarists, even when they learned to know each other better, becoming friends. There were always moments when it seemed like there was something hanging in the air, and sometimes Die caught himself simply thinking of their shared night, wishing they could re-enact it once.
Kaoru was only high because he had gotten closer to his goal by joining this band and soon it showed that he was as determined as Kisaki to make it big. It seemed as if they had only been waiting for somebody like him, a person with ideas who brought in his creativity and was willing to sacrifice a lot to keep the band going. Kisaki sometimes asked joking if Kaoru wanted to become the leader, because the other man had the tendency to take decisions by himself quickly. Still, Kaoru had no intentions in leading the band, perfectly happy with his place as the lead-guitarist.
During the first days and weeks, everything had still been new and exciting, but soon, things calmed down and his inner restlessness faded a bit and gave him time to realize that the awkwardness between him and Die was still there. Furthermore, he had to admit that he really began to like the redhead, the better he learned to know him. Inwardly, he cursed the fact for he would have preferred if he had been right and Die had been a dumbass bastard.
However, they became friends, shared the same hobbies and despite the tension and the certain attraction, he really enjoyed hanging out with the other guitarist. That was the reason why he had agreed upon spending a mellow evening at the redhead's place together with Kyo and Shinya. They wanted to celebrate the recording of their demo and only Kisaki didn't have the time to join them. But when Kaoru was standing in front of the rhythm-guitarist's apartment door, he suddenly remembered the last and first time he had stood there.
A slight nervousness was visible in Die as he opened the door, digging out a polite smile and inviting the other guitarist in. The others weren't there yet, although they were supposed to arrive in mere minutes. As soon as possible, Die hoped, since somehow being alone with Kaoru, and HERE of all places, made his mind fill with memories of a certain night. No matter how hard he tried to shrug it off, he wasn't able to. He took Kaoru to the living room nevertheless, remaining standing a bit further when he sat down on the couch. "Want something to drink while waiting?" He tried to smile casually.
"Yeah, beer." The smaller man nodded smiling and while Die was away, let his eyes wander about the place. He hadn't noticed the living-room during their night and it made his smile widen to see that it was actually quite untidy. It looked though as if the other had cleaned up, because the magazines on the table were lying on a heap and there were only the water rings left, the cups which had caused them were gone. Only when his eyes spotted the door to the bedroom, a pleasant and at the same time unpleasant shudder ran through him as he remembered what had happened in there.
Luckily, the doorbell rang and Kaoru jumped off his seat. "I'll go and open," he yelled automatically and only then asked himself if that hadn't been a bit too much since, after all, it was Die's apartment. Die didn't mind though, and just grabbed a couple of extra beers, one for each of them as he supposed Kyo and Shinya would both be there. He was right, since as Kaoru opened the door he was greeted with the two other bandmembers, smiling at him when he let them inside. "Sorry we're a bit late." Shinya apologized, although they were only a couple of minutes late at the most.
"I just arrived a minute before you. Die's fetching beer." For some reason, Kaoru thought he had to explain why he had opened the door. Kyo didn't seem to bother at all, only kicked off his shoes, threw his jacket on the floor and marched over to the couch where he plopped down nonchalantly. "He tidied," the small man remarked snickering and with it confirmed Kaoru's suspicions. Somehow, that made him like Die even more.
It only took a short moment before Die appeared to the living room as well, smiling brightly at his friends. "I thought I heard familiar voices." He handed each of the others a beer without asking anything, assuming they wouldn't deny if he offered. As Shinya had taken the big armchair Die sat down beside the small vocalist on the couch.
That left the floor for Kaoru. He was fine with it though and sat down so that he could keep his eyes on the redhead and the vocalist on the couch; of course the latter wasn't as much of interest as the first. It didn't take long and they were involved in a heated discussion about record deals, indie-labels, major-labels, the best instruments, their favourite bands and things like that. It gave
Kaoru the opportunity to forget about the night he had spent in this apartment as he was curiously listening to his friends' explanations.
Soon the mood relaxed and even Die forgot the slight nervousness that had been building up inside of him. It was always like that. Seeing Kaoru made him irrationally nervous at first, but whenever they were caught up chatting or anything else that distracted them a bit, he felt simply like home.
It was nice to just sit together like this, listen to music and discuss everything that crossed their minds.
Soon, they had emptied many bottles of beer and were laughing more than before. Somehow, Kyo had seemed to wait for a moment like that, because he broke the good mood by speaking up. "Kisaki has told me he doesn't want to try to get a major-contract..." He just left the statement hanging in the air, looking to and fro between his friends.
"I see." Kaoru nodded understanding. Although he was a full member of the band and had very well noticed that the bassist wanted to remain indies while the vocalist headed towards becoming major, he had held back so far. "But he can't decide without asking us," he added after a moment.
"He thinks he can." Die shrugged, taking a sip of his beer. He didn't like how things were seemingly turning out. It felt like Kisaki was trying to hold them back, trying to prevent them from developing.
Shinya usually preferred to stay silent and first listen to what others had to say, and so they instantly knew that he had been thinking of this, and that it bothered him as he spoke up. "You know, he seems to get more and more distant all along. The only time he's around is during practice, and he's the last who comes and the first who leaves."
"But he has a lot to take care of, even still works this side-job," Kaoru tried to defend their leader although he agreed with the drummer on some level.
"Are you kidding me?" Kyo snorted, obviously displeased. "Kisaki's trying to run the band like he'd run a shop. That's just not working and I certainly won't hold back just to please him."
"And he's leaving more and more things for us. I mean, things he should be taking care of." Die added instantly. "I admit it, before he did more than his own share even, but now he just fluently re-assigns everything to us."
"You're only complaining because that leaves you less free time," the vocalist remarked. "But you're right. Kisaki's really isn't there often and he doesn't seem to really want to get a decent record deal for us."
Kaoru nodded absent-mindedly and thought for a moment. "Maybe we should talk to him?"
"Talk to him and gain his eternal wrath on us?" The redhead laughed cheerlessly, shaking his head a bit. "But you're right. We have to."
"C'mon, we're all grown men. We should manage to talk to each other in peace. Besides," Kaoru looked straight into Die's eyes and still couldn't stop a small shiver from running down his spine; a very pleasant one, "it's about our future, not only his."
Kyo nodded eagerly. "Yeah, finally somebody who sees things like they are."
"That's right." Die couldn't help but to smile slightly somehow unable to look away from the other's eyes. "So we'll talk to him about it then. Decided?"
"Do you all want to try to go major then?" The eldest in that room asked tentatively. "I mean, otherwise it wouldn't make sense to start a fight."
Kyo nodded. "He's right. So who's willing to try it major?" He raised his arm and Kaoru joined him instantly. He knew that they would lose a lot of freedom if they went major, but they would also earn more money and reach a bigger audience. Besides, they could make sure that they wouldn't lose the right to decide what kind of music they made.
Neither Die nor Shinya hesitated either, and they raised their hands almost instantly. For a moment they all looked at each other silently, before relaxing considerably. So finally they at least knew that they all agreed upon this matter, and now it would only mean convincing Kisaki about it as well, to make him see what would be best.
Funnily, none seemed to have the guts or the will to talk to the bassist the next days though, until Kaoru lost it and had a talk with Kyo. He told him off, saying that the vocalist couldn't start ranting without walking the talk later on too. That evening after practice, Kisaki was just about to leave again, Kyo cleared his throat. "Er, do you have a moment still? I think there's something we need to discuss."
The bassist arched a suspicious eyebrow, but nodded. "Sure. What's the problem?"
They all seemed more or less uncomfortable with the situation, no one willing to break the silence that followed. It dragged on for a while, before Kyo cleared his throat again, glancing at his friends shortly before going on. "It's about the record deal. And going major..."
Kisaki seemed to guess what the problem was, as a frown appeared on his face instantly. "So...?" He kept on looking straight at his fellow bandmembers.
Everything went on slow until Kaoru lost patience. "It's just that we all think we should at least try to get a major record-deal. We want to make it big." There it was out. One could've heard a needle drop in the silence that followed.
"It would mean to give up on our freedom," the bassist pointed out, seemingly calm. Only if one knew him well, one could see how agitated and angry he was.
"But it would open up possibilities as well." Die looked straight at the bandleader, appearing totally calm and firm. "And it's not like after that we wouldn't have anything to say about the band's concerns or the music."
"It would also give us the opportunity to reach more people and to really live on what we're doing." Kyo was also firm in his opinions and he straightened a bit in his seat.
Kisaki nodded slowly. "So you're selling out? That's what our music is to you?"
Kaoru was seemingly annoyed by this much staginess. "Don't you think you're overdoing it a bit here? It's not like we sell our souls to the devil. All we want is to live on making music and TRY to get a majordeal."
"It's still OUR music. And that's what we're doing this for." Die tried to be reasonable.
Even Shinya spoke up at that point. "It'll get really tiring to have a job and still try to make music and keep the band running. It'd be a lot easier, leave more room for crativity and everything." He sounded surprisingly firm when he spoke, seemingly having made up his mind about this and sticking to it.
"But having an indie-contract doesn't mean that we would have to keep our jobs. We'd still earn enough money to live on our music," Kisaki argued and Kaoru shook his head. "Eventually, but not soon. It'll be a lot harder than with a major-deal and with the money a huge record company has to offer, we could give our art a real voice."
"What is it that makes you hate the idea of a major record deal that much?" The redhead was getting totally frustrated, the rising anger clear in his voice, although he didn't even speak louder than normally.
"You know that very well, Die." Kisaki raised his chin and glared at the redhead. "I just don't like the idea of selling myself. They tell you what to wear, how much to weigh, how many shows you'll play, set the interviews and everything. I just don't want to give up on myself."
"You really believe that bullshit, don't you?" Die didn't turn his eyes away from the his bandmate, he was just too annoyed to care. "It's not like we would become will-less puppets once we get a deal."
"C'mon Die, you're a will-less puppy when it comes to work already. You only dream about being filthy rich and hope you don't have too much to do besides playing lives and recording albums. Lemme tell you something, a band requires more than that." The bassist raised his voice and clenched his hands into fists.
"Don't you think I know that?" The redhead's eyes were flaming, since he took the words as a personal insult. "Besides, I do my share of the work, unlike someone else here! I'm not the one who's been trying to make others do my share."
"I'm doing more than anybody here. So you can’t mean me." Kisaki blurted, slamming his fist on the table.
"That might have been the case half a year ago. You've become awfully lazy, as if you purposefully keep us down. Know what?" Kyo jumped off his chair, unable to keep still. "I found out that you declined the opportunity to play some gigs. And I fucking know the reason. Just because some record bosses would've been there. You should've talked to us about it at least. Because, you see, you don't own us."
"I might not own you but I still make the decisions here." Kisaki's voice was full of anger, and it was obvious that he was furious, probably ready to hit someone.
"You seem to forget that we're adults too. We do have the right to decide about things that have something to do with us." Die couldn't keep quiet for long, again interfering.
"I formed this band, it's mine and you can feel free to leave it," Kisaki spat out, his cheeks flushed and eyes glimmering dangerously.
"Fuck that, WE are the band! You know that the vocalist makes the band, the voice and if I leave, you have a name, but still no band." Kyo's eyes were sparkling dangerously, his hands clenching into fists. Inwardly, Kaoru thought that the vocalist was right, but he had already made his point clear and saw no sense in arguing. If Kisaki didn't agree with them, then they would have to find a new bassists. To him, it was just that easy.
"You're a conceited little diva, Kyo. Don't think that you're irreplaceable. There are thousands of good vocalists out there. And neither of you has an idea how to run a band, what to do. Let alone that none of you lazy airheads has the energy and determination it takes." Kisaki was fuming with anger and at the verge if kicking something. This was his band. He had worked hard for it and all of a sudden everybody was turning on him.
"Don't you think you're giving a little too less credit for us. If we're that useless why don't you form a band all by yourself, as you are so good at it?" The redhead wasn't much calmer than the bassist, and only the table that divided them, kept him from hitting the other. It wasn't only about disagreeing about the contract anymore, but now Kisaki had started to insult them otherwise too, and that was something he wouldn't be forgiven that easily.
"I created this band out of nothing and we've gained quite some reputation. Don't think it's because the great Daisuke Andou's playing the guitar. It's because I fucking worked my ass off for it and yes, I could form a band again if I wanted. I don't need you." Kisaki now yelled, all self control gone.
"Then fucking do that!" Kyo marched to the door and opened it. "I'm outta here. I want to go major and don't want to friggin' wait for all eternity till things pay off. If you're with me, I'm at home!" With having said that, he slammed the door shut, making the others flinch.
"He is right," Kaoru nodded. His voice was calm, his expression cool. He turned to face the raging bassist. "If you're the only one who disagrees, then it might be the best if you just left the band."
"If I left the band?" Kisaki gave a cheerless, empty laugh. "I AM the band. It's still my band, and there's nothing you sorry excuses for musicians can do about that."
That was the point where Die lost his temper completely, slamming his fist on the table and glaring at the bassist. "Fuck you then. You can keep the band, and stick it up your ass for all I care." He turned on his heels, following the vocalist's example and marched out of the door.
"Shin?" Kaoru asked calmly while getting up as well. "You know, Kisaki, I think you're a bit too full of yourself to be a good leader. Leading also means remaining in the background sometimes and doing what's best for the community."
"Besides, a good leader listens to others' opinions as well." Shinya shrugged, getting up and ready to leave. Kisaki seemed like he couldn't get a word out right at that moment, either too furious or too shocked. Together, the drummer and the lead-guitarist left the room without really knowing how they would continue from then on.
Not much to their surprise, Kyo and Die were waiting a bit away, leaning against a wall, smoking cigarettes. "So," the vocalist grinned at the others. He seemed to have calmed down already and was only glad that he had his friends still there. "What will we do now?"
"Kyo and I figured we need a new band now. Only the bassist missing." Die gave the two a grin as well, taking a long drag from his cig. "It'll be a hell lot easier for us to find a bassist than for Kisaki to find all the four missing players." Something in his voice gave away that he was actually the happier the more troubles this caused to the former bandleader. He still hadn't calmed down, although outwardly looked like that.
It astonished Kaoru a bit to see the almost always happy and friendly redhead so vengeful and mean. What else astonished him was that he thought it made him sexy. Shaking his head to clear his mind, Kaoru dug out his own cigs and lit one. "I've heard of somebody who might be of interest for us. The only problem is that he's still in another band, so we would have to keep it a secret if we met. I could give him a call and ask him to come here to see us play at a club. We can't cancel the gigs just because Kisaki's bitching. So either he plays or we ask one of our friends to take his part..." Kaoru was way too considerate of their reputation to just cancel a gig for nothing.
"We have to talk about this to Kisaki once more, to sort things out. But let's give him a while to calm down first," Shinya spoke up calmly, leaning against the wall. "And let all of US calm down as well." He cast a meaningful glance at the vocalist and the redhead. They both ignored the look though, despite being aware of it.
"I agree with Shinya." Kaoru nodded and then looked to and fro between them. "What about the other bassist? Shall I give my friend a call and he asks him if he's interested?" He didn't want to just take over, but wanted to start looking for a suitable bandmember soonest too.
"You'd make a better leader than Kisaki ever." Die suddenly spoke up, turning to look at the other guitarist. There was a small grin dancing on his lips, and even a wicked sparkle somewhere deep in his eyes. "And you know how to control situations." His mind wasn't exactly on leading the band right then, but at least to Shinya and Kyo it appeared like that, as they didn't have any idea what else Die could be referring to. But Kaoru understood the ambiguousness of those words very well and instantly blushed a bit.
"I agree." Kyo nodded and slapped the older guitarist's shoulder friendly. "Just call that friend. It won't do harm to meet this other bassist."
Slowly, his mind not completely on the situation, Kaoru nodded. "I will." He kept his eyes on the redhead though, mirroring the grin. For a moment Die just answered the gaze, wordlessly looking back at the other guitarist. He couldn't help that still when he looked straight at the other man, the remembrance of the shared night of passion crept to his consciousness, making him shiver.
They hadn't talked a single word about the night afterwards though, and it was still hanging between them as something they both knew they remembered, but neither had the guts to talk about it. This comment was the furthest they had got. Like in silent stipulation, they both kept silent about the fact and after the weeks and month they were now playing in one band already, it would seem weird to address the topic again.
Author:
seinen_no and fonulynRating: NC17
Pairing: Die and Kaoru
Disclaimer: We own no one, only our dirty imaginations.
Summary: Kaoru and Die meet in a bar, and they end up sharing a passionate night together. It was a mutual agreement that it should be a one night stand, but fate doesn’t always work like that.
Comments:
seinen_no: Heya Dears! I am sorry that we took so long to post the next chapter. It's been my fault, for – as some of you might know already – I've been following Dir en grey around a bit and seen some concerts. That meant a lotta travelling, a lotta fun and practically no sleep in two weeks. But now I'm back and we can go on with the story. I hope you didn't forget completely what happened and that you're still interested in seeing what's going to happen….
fonulyn: And while someone was having fun touring I was stuck home or at the summerhouse and the only nice thing to do was to edit fics. Well, now I’m lying though XD I had fun too at times, although most of the time I was dying to just drop everything and fly to seinen_no to share some of the fun! Anyways, that has nothing to do with the story 8D I hope you still remember what’s going on! And if not, there’s a link to the first chap you can follow ;) Enjoy.
And feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Previously happened: Part 1
Chapter 2
Annoyed, Kyo kicked the leg of the table which stood in front of him and growled. They had been sitting there all day, listening to a dozen of possible guitarists to join their small indies-band. Kisaki, their bassist and leader had spread flyers all over the important music-stores and had placed an AD in two local papers. The response had been enormous since there were a lot of unemployed guitarists around and thus, they were now sitting there, trying to separate the wheat from the chaff.
They, that were Kyo, the small vocalist, Kisaki, their drummer Shinya, a shy thin young man with long hair and finally Daisuke, Die as they called him, the redheaded rhythm guitarist. Neither of them was actually enthusiastic about this, as they had seen dozens of people already, some whom they suspected hadn't seen a guitar before in their lives, judging by how lousy they were, some a bit better but still nothing they would've taken into the band. Die knew he should pay attention. After all, he was the other guitarist in the band and his opinion would weigh a lot when they finally picked the one who would be their new bandmember. Still, he was just toying with his pencil, drawing random patterns on a sheet of paper as another pathetic so-called guitarist tried to show off in front of them.
Somewhere way past two in the afternoon, they took a short break and Kisaki offered to get them something to drink and a small snack. As soon as the door had closed, Kyo turned his head to look at the redhead. "I fucking know better ways to spend a Saturday than to sit here all day long and listen to those pathetic losers. Why on earth did Kisaki have to place an AD in the papers even? Why didn't we do it my style, go into the clubs and see if there's somebody with talent. Then we could've stolen him from another band or so."
"We can't do that since then he would feel less in control of things." Die grinned, leaning his cheek against his palm, having based his elbow on the table. "You know how he wants everything to go like he plans it out." He knew it wasn't exactly a nice thing to say behind the bassist's back, but it was the complete truth.
"He can be so fucking stubborn," the vocalist snarled and toyed with a half smoked cigarette in his hand. They had been smoking way too much just to kill the time while listening to the guitarists who had showed up so far and Shinya, the only non-smoker there, coughed reproachfully. "Go and open a window if it disturbs you," came the answer to the unvoiced question from Kyo. Sighing, the drummer followed the advice, but remained standing at the window and looked outside.
It didn't take long until Kisaki returned with cool drinks and cool pizza as well. Still, they were eating ravenously since they hadn't had any food in quite some time. "So," Kisaki asked and peeked at the list, "there's still some to come. I think this Takahara was quite okay."
"He was mediocre." Die shrugged, taking a long sip from his glass as it was somewhat hot in the room. "We can deal with him for a while, but I would take him only as a temporary fill in." He looked at the bassist tentatively, because he knew that the other didn't like when someone contradicted his decisions. They were all used to it though, and got along well, but still tried to be careful with how they told their opinion occasionally.
"Well," the bassist grinned, "I only said that he was amongst the best so far. It's not like we have to decide today." There was something in his voice that made clear he wouldn't discuss the matter further right at that moment and once they all were finished eating the pizza, the next guitarist was already waiting behind the door. It was frustrating. They were sitting there for more than ten hours already and only had heard three guys which had been remotely okay, but nothing that had swooped them off their feet.
Kyo had pillowed his head on his arms, practically sleeping on the table when the door opened again and a slim man with sharp features and hip-long black hair entered the room, coolly carrying the guitar-bag over his shoulder. He smiled and nodded at everybody, hesitating for a second when his gaze fell upon the redheaded guitarist. 'Fuck!' Kaoru flinched inwardly, but didn't let it show and instead introduced himself shortly, told his name and for how long he had been playing the guitar already.
He had recognized Die instantly as the man with whom he had spent a long night of passion which he would've repeated more than gladly. That fact alone made him nervous, but once he held the guitar in his hands and began to play some riffs, he managed to push that feeling to the background and only focused on his play.
Thankfully no one had paid attention to the redhead's reaction when he saw who entered the room, since at first his eyes flew wide and the next moment he turned pale, his heart thrumming in his throat. So this man played the guitar as well? He managed to somehow collect himself, inhaling deep a few times and just trying to concentrate on listening. Somehow he wasn't surprised when he noticed that this was best they had heard this day, definitely the one he would pick from the bunch of candidates. But why did it have to be this man he had thought he would never see again?
"Could you play some X too, maybe?" Kisaki's voice cut through the air after Kaoru had ended his play. "Sure." Shrugging, the slim guitarist began to play something from one of his anyways favourite bands. In between, he glanced at the redhead and when their gazes met for a split second, his heart stopped beating and he was at the verge of letting this chance to get a job pass-by unused. But he needed a job urgently, had dreamed about a chance like this for what felt forever already.
Although this was a small indies band, it had gained some fame at a local base and the reputation had even left Tokyo's borders already. This could definitely become something big and he would have really wanted to be a part of it. Besides, he was quite sure that he could just push aside the awkward feeling which had appeared after seeing the redhead again. This would definitely cease with time.
Kyo, who had finally looked up again, leaned over to Die. "He's good. Really good..." Absent mindedly Die nodded, his eyes never leaving the guitarist before them. "He is. The best thus far." He knew quality when he saw it, and had to admit the other had talent. Besides, the fact that they had shared one night shouldn't be that big of a deal, right? He was adult enough to cope with it and still work together with him.
After Kaoru was done, he waited for some kind of reaction, for criticism or approval. But all he got was a nod from Kisaki and the usual "We'll call you within the next week." Still, he couldn't deny himself from casting a side-way glance at Die before he left, almost running against the closed door because of it. Yep, this certainly wouldn't be a problem if he only managed to overlook the fact that the young redhead was as attractive in daylight as he was in the dim light of a club.
Die simply stared after the retreating form, absent mindedly noting to himself that Kaoru's butt looked definitely as good as he remembered it would. He didn't even notice he was lost in thoughts before Shinya nudged him, making him snap back to reality. "Die? You alright?" The answer was a hasty nod. "Oh, of course I am."
The next guitarist already entered the room. A lousy loser just like so many before. Luckily, not many followed that evening and they were done soon. "So, I think we sleep a night over this and then discuss it, okay?" Kisaki grinned at his fellow bandmembers, stood up and left without saying anything further.
"You know," Kyo began once the door had slammed shut behind the bassist, "this Kaoru was the best if you ask me and he had something," he hesitated for a moment and finally faced his friend, "determined. I believe he really wants that job."
"He was the best, definitely." Die nodded, agreeing. He thanked his luck that Kaoru had indeed been the best candidate, since he wanted him in the band anyways, somehow unable to let him go now that he had seen him again. "I don't really care what Kisaki has to say. We have to choose him." There was determination in both his eyes and his voice, showing he was dead serious.
"But didn't Kisaki say that there are still three to come another day? Maybe we should wait till we saw those too," Shinya interfered carefully. He usually kept away from struggles within the band, but choosing a guitarist concerned all of them.
"I certainly am siding with Die. I don't feel like hearing some more losers. I'm already half deaf and don't want to risk the other half too," Kyo retorted.
"Besides, what are the chances that there's anyone better amongst the three others?" Die turned to look at the drummer. He was firm, but still far from hostile and tried not to seem too enthusiastic. "Come on, you saw him too. He's awesome."
"He is," Shinya agreed nodding. "And I think he'd fit the band quite well, but it's up to Kisaki to decide how many more we'll see before we take a decision."
Kyo rolled his eyes. "Yeah, and if we leave it all to him, he'll make us listen to every guitar player in the whole wide world before he chooses one."
"But he has to listen to us if we all want Kaoru in." The redhead tried, looking to and fro between his friends, almost pleadingly.
"Did that guy bribe you?" Kyo asked suddenly and there was a dirty smirk dancing on his lips. It was his usual way to tease though and didn't mean that he knew anything nor gave away what he really thought.
"I think we should give Kisaki those three still and then tell him that we all think Kaoru was the best. We could invite him for a jamsession to see how well we work together," Shinya suggested carefully.
"That's a good suggestion," Die patted the drummer's shoulder, his smile widening instantly. "I always knew you were clever." He was hoping that neither of his friends had noticed how he had flinched at the vocalist's question, despite knowing that it had only been a joke and nothing more.
"I'm fine with everything that gives me back my peace," Kyo stated and stood up. He stretched his back and arms, yawning widely. "Hey Die. What about a drink?" Although they got along well, Kyo rarely went out with the others, but for some reason he felt like it that day. Shinya had already agreed upon going somewhere together. Usually, they met at one of their apartments and got plastered, since Shinya was too young to get alcohol at a club.
"Drink sounds just perfect." The redhead smiled instantly. That was exactly what he needed right now, to get over the initial shock seeing his one-night-stand again caused. Usually it wasn't even weird for him when he again saw someone with whom he had shared the bed, but this was different. The memory of that night alone made a shiver run along Die's spine, because he seemed to remember every single detail.
Kaoru had a hard time thinking about if he was really professional enough to work together with Die. Usually, he didn't even really remember the faces of his one-night-stands anymore, but when he thought about the redhead, he even remembered his scent, the taste of his kisses and every single thing they had done that night. Anyhow, he needed and wanted that job and was hoping to get a call within the next week. Besides, if he was working together with Die and got to know him better, he would probably find out that the redhead totally wasn't his type emotionally. That was at least what he told himself.
Die would've wanted to tell Kisaki the next morning that they wanted Kaoru into the band, but he held back and silently watched the three other people who were auditioning to become a part of the band. Those were far from being awesome though, and he knew that at least Kyo and Shinya were on his side, wanting Kaoru as the last bandmember. The redhead was almost holding his breath when the last candidate had left and Kisaki said that this was it, no more tries. He was almost insanely nervous for some reason.
"I'd say, that Takahara and maybe Kaoru would be okay," Kisaki finally stated. Kyo, Shinya and Die were gasping simultaneously in disbelief. Why on earth didn't Kisaki see that Kaoru had been the best of them all? Maybe the bassist just sensed that, with Kaoru, he would get another strong personality into the band and he was fearing the competition as he was already having his fights with Kyo.
"You must be kidding, man!" Die couldn't hold back the comment, staring at the other totally disbelieving. "Kaoru was the best and you know it as well as I do!" He didn't care what the bassist's motives might've been, he simply was determined to get Kaoru into the band.
"I'm only saying that we should invite both of them for a jamsession." Kisaki glared at Die for his sudden outburst.
This time, Kyo spoke up. "Fuck it. We've been wasting enough time. Kaoru was great and I'm certain he would fit, musically and otherwise too. Let's just invite him and when he sucks with the band, we still can consider calling Takahara." He looked almost as fierce as the redhead, but for whole different reasons.
"Okay, okay, this is a common decision." Kisaki lifted his hands soothing. "I call Kaoru and ask him to join practice tomorrow or the day after, okay?"
"Okay." Die relaxed noticeably, nodding approving at the decision. He was sure that things would work out from then on, because this was half of the victory already. He didn't even notice the short glance he got from the drummer, as he was certainly behaving a tad bit weird.
Kaoru couldn't hide the relief in his voice when he agreed upon joining practice the next day already. Instantly, he called the boss of his part-time job and took the day off, honestly hoping that he could quit it completely soon. He had almost forgotten about the awkward feelings when Die and he had met again, but as he stepped into the small practice room early the next day and spotted the redhead, it was back with full force. "Morning," he greeted everybody and Kisaki introduced all of them properly before ordering them to their instruments.
It was hard for Die to take his mind off the other guitarist's presence, and he noticed that his eyes were travelling to Kaoru whenever he didn't watch his own behaviour. Thankfully everyone else was concentrated on the music, so they didn't notice the redhead's slight troubles. He didn't even really notice he was playing himself either, his mind totally directed elsewhere.
Kaoru was too busy to dwell on his thoughts for long, being confronted with four strangers and a bunch of new songs he was supposed to learn. Kisaki seemed to be a strong minded person, definitely a good leader but maybe a bit too strict. At least Kaoru thought that he was the type of guy one could easily argue with at times. Still, he admired his talent and how he kept the band together.
Shinya was an amazing drummer. Kaoru would've never thought that a thin man like he could play this powerful and strong. He easily kept the rhythm and led the band through the songs together with the bassist. Then, there was Kyo with his unique voice and the even more unique way to sing. His lyrics were extraordinary, that he could tell right away. Well, and then there was Die. Talented, with a tendency to play fast and with a smile that still managed to make the other guitarist's heart miss a beat and his knees become weak.
They kept on playing for long, everyone enjoying it somehow, as they instantly seemed to match. They would've never thought things could work out that well the first time they played together. After they stopped, there was a short silence, when no one really knew what to say for the time being.
Surprisingly enough, it was the drummer who broke it, smiling straight at the newcomer. "You're really good." He nodded, appreciatory. Everyone agreed with him, and although they didn't hurry to say anything right away, it was visible in their approving expressions.
"So you approve?" Kaoru asked bluntly into the round but kept his eyes locked on Die's. There was this certain tension between them which hadn't left but which he enjoyed for some reason. Who knew what would come of this?
The redhead already opened his mouth to agree, but in the nick of time got a hold of himself, taking a quick glance at the bassist. Kisaki seemed to ponder still, but slowly nodded nevertheless. "Yeah, I guess we do. You're in."
The smile that appeared on the new guitarist's face was more smug than relieved. In his opinion, there had been no way for them to deny him and he liked them already. They agreed on calling it a day and on meeting the next day again instead. Kisaki asked Kaoru to bring the notes for the songs he had written, since they wanted to take a look at them and then, the bassist left. He had a job beside the band still which demanded a lot of time.
The other four used a few moments still to chat with each other, a shallow conversation but still they kind of wanted to learn to know each other on some level. Die was strangely silent somehow, because his thought were still circling around the awkwardness that was still clear between him and Kaoru.
During the next days Die managed to get a grip of himself and act almost completely normal around the new guitarist. The other bandmembers didn't notice anything strange, but if one looked closely it was clear that there was still some tension between the guitarists, even when they learned to know each other better, becoming friends. There were always moments when it seemed like there was something hanging in the air, and sometimes Die caught himself simply thinking of their shared night, wishing they could re-enact it once.
Kaoru was only high because he had gotten closer to his goal by joining this band and soon it showed that he was as determined as Kisaki to make it big. It seemed as if they had only been waiting for somebody like him, a person with ideas who brought in his creativity and was willing to sacrifice a lot to keep the band going. Kisaki sometimes asked joking if Kaoru wanted to become the leader, because the other man had the tendency to take decisions by himself quickly. Still, Kaoru had no intentions in leading the band, perfectly happy with his place as the lead-guitarist.
During the first days and weeks, everything had still been new and exciting, but soon, things calmed down and his inner restlessness faded a bit and gave him time to realize that the awkwardness between him and Die was still there. Furthermore, he had to admit that he really began to like the redhead, the better he learned to know him. Inwardly, he cursed the fact for he would have preferred if he had been right and Die had been a dumbass bastard.
However, they became friends, shared the same hobbies and despite the tension and the certain attraction, he really enjoyed hanging out with the other guitarist. That was the reason why he had agreed upon spending a mellow evening at the redhead's place together with Kyo and Shinya. They wanted to celebrate the recording of their demo and only Kisaki didn't have the time to join them. But when Kaoru was standing in front of the rhythm-guitarist's apartment door, he suddenly remembered the last and first time he had stood there.
A slight nervousness was visible in Die as he opened the door, digging out a polite smile and inviting the other guitarist in. The others weren't there yet, although they were supposed to arrive in mere minutes. As soon as possible, Die hoped, since somehow being alone with Kaoru, and HERE of all places, made his mind fill with memories of a certain night. No matter how hard he tried to shrug it off, he wasn't able to. He took Kaoru to the living room nevertheless, remaining standing a bit further when he sat down on the couch. "Want something to drink while waiting?" He tried to smile casually.
"Yeah, beer." The smaller man nodded smiling and while Die was away, let his eyes wander about the place. He hadn't noticed the living-room during their night and it made his smile widen to see that it was actually quite untidy. It looked though as if the other had cleaned up, because the magazines on the table were lying on a heap and there were only the water rings left, the cups which had caused them were gone. Only when his eyes spotted the door to the bedroom, a pleasant and at the same time unpleasant shudder ran through him as he remembered what had happened in there.
Luckily, the doorbell rang and Kaoru jumped off his seat. "I'll go and open," he yelled automatically and only then asked himself if that hadn't been a bit too much since, after all, it was Die's apartment. Die didn't mind though, and just grabbed a couple of extra beers, one for each of them as he supposed Kyo and Shinya would both be there. He was right, since as Kaoru opened the door he was greeted with the two other bandmembers, smiling at him when he let them inside. "Sorry we're a bit late." Shinya apologized, although they were only a couple of minutes late at the most.
"I just arrived a minute before you. Die's fetching beer." For some reason, Kaoru thought he had to explain why he had opened the door. Kyo didn't seem to bother at all, only kicked off his shoes, threw his jacket on the floor and marched over to the couch where he plopped down nonchalantly. "He tidied," the small man remarked snickering and with it confirmed Kaoru's suspicions. Somehow, that made him like Die even more.
It only took a short moment before Die appeared to the living room as well, smiling brightly at his friends. "I thought I heard familiar voices." He handed each of the others a beer without asking anything, assuming they wouldn't deny if he offered. As Shinya had taken the big armchair Die sat down beside the small vocalist on the couch.
That left the floor for Kaoru. He was fine with it though and sat down so that he could keep his eyes on the redhead and the vocalist on the couch; of course the latter wasn't as much of interest as the first. It didn't take long and they were involved in a heated discussion about record deals, indie-labels, major-labels, the best instruments, their favourite bands and things like that. It gave
Kaoru the opportunity to forget about the night he had spent in this apartment as he was curiously listening to his friends' explanations.
Soon the mood relaxed and even Die forgot the slight nervousness that had been building up inside of him. It was always like that. Seeing Kaoru made him irrationally nervous at first, but whenever they were caught up chatting or anything else that distracted them a bit, he felt simply like home.
It was nice to just sit together like this, listen to music and discuss everything that crossed their minds.
Soon, they had emptied many bottles of beer and were laughing more than before. Somehow, Kyo had seemed to wait for a moment like that, because he broke the good mood by speaking up. "Kisaki has told me he doesn't want to try to get a major-contract..." He just left the statement hanging in the air, looking to and fro between his friends.
"I see." Kaoru nodded understanding. Although he was a full member of the band and had very well noticed that the bassist wanted to remain indies while the vocalist headed towards becoming major, he had held back so far. "But he can't decide without asking us," he added after a moment.
"He thinks he can." Die shrugged, taking a sip of his beer. He didn't like how things were seemingly turning out. It felt like Kisaki was trying to hold them back, trying to prevent them from developing.
Shinya usually preferred to stay silent and first listen to what others had to say, and so they instantly knew that he had been thinking of this, and that it bothered him as he spoke up. "You know, he seems to get more and more distant all along. The only time he's around is during practice, and he's the last who comes and the first who leaves."
"But he has a lot to take care of, even still works this side-job," Kaoru tried to defend their leader although he agreed with the drummer on some level.
"Are you kidding me?" Kyo snorted, obviously displeased. "Kisaki's trying to run the band like he'd run a shop. That's just not working and I certainly won't hold back just to please him."
"And he's leaving more and more things for us. I mean, things he should be taking care of." Die added instantly. "I admit it, before he did more than his own share even, but now he just fluently re-assigns everything to us."
"You're only complaining because that leaves you less free time," the vocalist remarked. "But you're right. Kisaki's really isn't there often and he doesn't seem to really want to get a decent record deal for us."
Kaoru nodded absent-mindedly and thought for a moment. "Maybe we should talk to him?"
"Talk to him and gain his eternal wrath on us?" The redhead laughed cheerlessly, shaking his head a bit. "But you're right. We have to."
"C'mon, we're all grown men. We should manage to talk to each other in peace. Besides," Kaoru looked straight into Die's eyes and still couldn't stop a small shiver from running down his spine; a very pleasant one, "it's about our future, not only his."
Kyo nodded eagerly. "Yeah, finally somebody who sees things like they are."
"That's right." Die couldn't help but to smile slightly somehow unable to look away from the other's eyes. "So we'll talk to him about it then. Decided?"
"Do you all want to try to go major then?" The eldest in that room asked tentatively. "I mean, otherwise it wouldn't make sense to start a fight."
Kyo nodded. "He's right. So who's willing to try it major?" He raised his arm and Kaoru joined him instantly. He knew that they would lose a lot of freedom if they went major, but they would also earn more money and reach a bigger audience. Besides, they could make sure that they wouldn't lose the right to decide what kind of music they made.
Neither Die nor Shinya hesitated either, and they raised their hands almost instantly. For a moment they all looked at each other silently, before relaxing considerably. So finally they at least knew that they all agreed upon this matter, and now it would only mean convincing Kisaki about it as well, to make him see what would be best.
Funnily, none seemed to have the guts or the will to talk to the bassist the next days though, until Kaoru lost it and had a talk with Kyo. He told him off, saying that the vocalist couldn't start ranting without walking the talk later on too. That evening after practice, Kisaki was just about to leave again, Kyo cleared his throat. "Er, do you have a moment still? I think there's something we need to discuss."
The bassist arched a suspicious eyebrow, but nodded. "Sure. What's the problem?"
They all seemed more or less uncomfortable with the situation, no one willing to break the silence that followed. It dragged on for a while, before Kyo cleared his throat again, glancing at his friends shortly before going on. "It's about the record deal. And going major..."
Kisaki seemed to guess what the problem was, as a frown appeared on his face instantly. "So...?" He kept on looking straight at his fellow bandmembers.
Everything went on slow until Kaoru lost patience. "It's just that we all think we should at least try to get a major record-deal. We want to make it big." There it was out. One could've heard a needle drop in the silence that followed.
"It would mean to give up on our freedom," the bassist pointed out, seemingly calm. Only if one knew him well, one could see how agitated and angry he was.
"But it would open up possibilities as well." Die looked straight at the bandleader, appearing totally calm and firm. "And it's not like after that we wouldn't have anything to say about the band's concerns or the music."
"It would also give us the opportunity to reach more people and to really live on what we're doing." Kyo was also firm in his opinions and he straightened a bit in his seat.
Kisaki nodded slowly. "So you're selling out? That's what our music is to you?"
Kaoru was seemingly annoyed by this much staginess. "Don't you think you're overdoing it a bit here? It's not like we sell our souls to the devil. All we want is to live on making music and TRY to get a majordeal."
"It's still OUR music. And that's what we're doing this for." Die tried to be reasonable.
Even Shinya spoke up at that point. "It'll get really tiring to have a job and still try to make music and keep the band running. It'd be a lot easier, leave more room for crativity and everything." He sounded surprisingly firm when he spoke, seemingly having made up his mind about this and sticking to it.
"But having an indie-contract doesn't mean that we would have to keep our jobs. We'd still earn enough money to live on our music," Kisaki argued and Kaoru shook his head. "Eventually, but not soon. It'll be a lot harder than with a major-deal and with the money a huge record company has to offer, we could give our art a real voice."
"What is it that makes you hate the idea of a major record deal that much?" The redhead was getting totally frustrated, the rising anger clear in his voice, although he didn't even speak louder than normally.
"You know that very well, Die." Kisaki raised his chin and glared at the redhead. "I just don't like the idea of selling myself. They tell you what to wear, how much to weigh, how many shows you'll play, set the interviews and everything. I just don't want to give up on myself."
"You really believe that bullshit, don't you?" Die didn't turn his eyes away from the his bandmate, he was just too annoyed to care. "It's not like we would become will-less puppets once we get a deal."
"C'mon Die, you're a will-less puppy when it comes to work already. You only dream about being filthy rich and hope you don't have too much to do besides playing lives and recording albums. Lemme tell you something, a band requires more than that." The bassist raised his voice and clenched his hands into fists.
"Don't you think I know that?" The redhead's eyes were flaming, since he took the words as a personal insult. "Besides, I do my share of the work, unlike someone else here! I'm not the one who's been trying to make others do my share."
"I'm doing more than anybody here. So you can’t mean me." Kisaki blurted, slamming his fist on the table.
"That might have been the case half a year ago. You've become awfully lazy, as if you purposefully keep us down. Know what?" Kyo jumped off his chair, unable to keep still. "I found out that you declined the opportunity to play some gigs. And I fucking know the reason. Just because some record bosses would've been there. You should've talked to us about it at least. Because, you see, you don't own us."
"I might not own you but I still make the decisions here." Kisaki's voice was full of anger, and it was obvious that he was furious, probably ready to hit someone.
"You seem to forget that we're adults too. We do have the right to decide about things that have something to do with us." Die couldn't keep quiet for long, again interfering.
"I formed this band, it's mine and you can feel free to leave it," Kisaki spat out, his cheeks flushed and eyes glimmering dangerously.
"Fuck that, WE are the band! You know that the vocalist makes the band, the voice and if I leave, you have a name, but still no band." Kyo's eyes were sparkling dangerously, his hands clenching into fists. Inwardly, Kaoru thought that the vocalist was right, but he had already made his point clear and saw no sense in arguing. If Kisaki didn't agree with them, then they would have to find a new bassists. To him, it was just that easy.
"You're a conceited little diva, Kyo. Don't think that you're irreplaceable. There are thousands of good vocalists out there. And neither of you has an idea how to run a band, what to do. Let alone that none of you lazy airheads has the energy and determination it takes." Kisaki was fuming with anger and at the verge if kicking something. This was his band. He had worked hard for it and all of a sudden everybody was turning on him.
"Don't you think you're giving a little too less credit for us. If we're that useless why don't you form a band all by yourself, as you are so good at it?" The redhead wasn't much calmer than the bassist, and only the table that divided them, kept him from hitting the other. It wasn't only about disagreeing about the contract anymore, but now Kisaki had started to insult them otherwise too, and that was something he wouldn't be forgiven that easily.
"I created this band out of nothing and we've gained quite some reputation. Don't think it's because the great Daisuke Andou's playing the guitar. It's because I fucking worked my ass off for it and yes, I could form a band again if I wanted. I don't need you." Kisaki now yelled, all self control gone.
"Then fucking do that!" Kyo marched to the door and opened it. "I'm outta here. I want to go major and don't want to friggin' wait for all eternity till things pay off. If you're with me, I'm at home!" With having said that, he slammed the door shut, making the others flinch.
"He is right," Kaoru nodded. His voice was calm, his expression cool. He turned to face the raging bassist. "If you're the only one who disagrees, then it might be the best if you just left the band."
"If I left the band?" Kisaki gave a cheerless, empty laugh. "I AM the band. It's still my band, and there's nothing you sorry excuses for musicians can do about that."
That was the point where Die lost his temper completely, slamming his fist on the table and glaring at the bassist. "Fuck you then. You can keep the band, and stick it up your ass for all I care." He turned on his heels, following the vocalist's example and marched out of the door.
"Shin?" Kaoru asked calmly while getting up as well. "You know, Kisaki, I think you're a bit too full of yourself to be a good leader. Leading also means remaining in the background sometimes and doing what's best for the community."
"Besides, a good leader listens to others' opinions as well." Shinya shrugged, getting up and ready to leave. Kisaki seemed like he couldn't get a word out right at that moment, either too furious or too shocked. Together, the drummer and the lead-guitarist left the room without really knowing how they would continue from then on.
Not much to their surprise, Kyo and Die were waiting a bit away, leaning against a wall, smoking cigarettes. "So," the vocalist grinned at the others. He seemed to have calmed down already and was only glad that he had his friends still there. "What will we do now?"
"Kyo and I figured we need a new band now. Only the bassist missing." Die gave the two a grin as well, taking a long drag from his cig. "It'll be a hell lot easier for us to find a bassist than for Kisaki to find all the four missing players." Something in his voice gave away that he was actually the happier the more troubles this caused to the former bandleader. He still hadn't calmed down, although outwardly looked like that.
It astonished Kaoru a bit to see the almost always happy and friendly redhead so vengeful and mean. What else astonished him was that he thought it made him sexy. Shaking his head to clear his mind, Kaoru dug out his own cigs and lit one. "I've heard of somebody who might be of interest for us. The only problem is that he's still in another band, so we would have to keep it a secret if we met. I could give him a call and ask him to come here to see us play at a club. We can't cancel the gigs just because Kisaki's bitching. So either he plays or we ask one of our friends to take his part..." Kaoru was way too considerate of their reputation to just cancel a gig for nothing.
"We have to talk about this to Kisaki once more, to sort things out. But let's give him a while to calm down first," Shinya spoke up calmly, leaning against the wall. "And let all of US calm down as well." He cast a meaningful glance at the vocalist and the redhead. They both ignored the look though, despite being aware of it.
"I agree with Shinya." Kaoru nodded and then looked to and fro between them. "What about the other bassist? Shall I give my friend a call and he asks him if he's interested?" He didn't want to just take over, but wanted to start looking for a suitable bandmember soonest too.
"You'd make a better leader than Kisaki ever." Die suddenly spoke up, turning to look at the other guitarist. There was a small grin dancing on his lips, and even a wicked sparkle somewhere deep in his eyes. "And you know how to control situations." His mind wasn't exactly on leading the band right then, but at least to Shinya and Kyo it appeared like that, as they didn't have any idea what else Die could be referring to. But Kaoru understood the ambiguousness of those words very well and instantly blushed a bit.
"I agree." Kyo nodded and slapped the older guitarist's shoulder friendly. "Just call that friend. It won't do harm to meet this other bassist."
Slowly, his mind not completely on the situation, Kaoru nodded. "I will." He kept his eyes on the redhead though, mirroring the grin. For a moment Die just answered the gaze, wordlessly looking back at the other guitarist. He couldn't help that still when he looked straight at the other man, the remembrance of the shared night of passion crept to his consciousness, making him shiver.
They hadn't talked a single word about the night afterwards though, and it was still hanging between them as something they both knew they remembered, but neither had the guts to talk about it. This comment was the furthest they had got. Like in silent stipulation, they both kept silent about the fact and after the weeks and month they were now playing in one band already, it would seem weird to address the topic again.
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