rabenhorst (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rabenhorst) wrote2007-06-01 12:18 am
rabenhorst) wrote2007-06-01 12:18 am
(no subject)
Title: Heaven Sent; Chapter 6 [/7]
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
seinen_no and fonulyn
Rating: NC17 overall
Pairing: Die and Kaoru
Disclaimer: We own no one, only our dirty imaginations.
Summary: Kaoru is just an ordinary man, leading an ordinary life, until one day he gets an unexpected visitor from above in form of a bouncy angel who is going to turn his life upside down.
Comments:
seinen_no: Hi girls^^ I think we didn't take too long, did we? Anyways, more plot to come XD Some of you might find their suspicions confirmed now, but I hope you like it anyways. Oh, and there's still one more chap to come. Forgive me, but I'm braindead (I think that's a constant state now...). Have fun reading and thank you for all your nice comments so far.
fonulyn: Hello again^^ I really don’t know what to say right now, my brains are empty from any thoughts x) Well, the story is getting more melancholy, but I think it’s still having its sweet sides too. I hope you still enjoy reading it^^
Previously happened: Heaven Sent, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5
Heaven Sent
Chapter 6
The alarm woke both of them the next morning and Kaoru felt as if he hadn't slept a minute. A bit grumpy, he hit the clock and turned around again, snuggling close to the redhead under the blanket. He didn't feel like getting up at all, more like doing nothing and being lazy.
Die didn't feel like getting up either, and for a moment he allowed himself to enjoy the closeness still. But he knew they couldn't stay in bed for all day. "Kao?" He spoke up after a moment, breaking the comfortable silence with his sleepy voice. He didn't open his eyes though, nor made any move. "We have things to do today."
"Yeah." The other nodded, not looking up as well. "I gotta go to work." He knew, that Die had meant something else, had meant the mission. But he wasn't in the mood for meeting another ruined existence.
"No... we need to go see someone." The redhead grumbled, not really eager about it either. He would've rather just forgot about the whole mission.
Somehow, both were moody and with an annoyed sigh, Kaoru rolled himself away from the angel, mumbling something in disagreement. However, he obediently slipped into a shirt and stepped into his comfortable jeans.
Die sat up on the bed, rubbing his eyes with his palms. He didn't like it, not one bit, that the mission seemed to get between them in a way, and they weren't able to be as carefree around each other anymore. But there was nothing he could do about it.
Within five minutes, Kaoru was fully dressed and looked at the other invitingly. "I'm ready. Let's go." He knew that it was unfair of him to blame Die, but since he couldn't possibly call God and tell him to stick his nose into somebody else's life, the redhead had to suffer.
Instantly the angel got up from the bed. He didn't dare to look the other man in the eye and bit his lip slightly, trying to think about something else than the awkwardness that stood between them. He nodded and then headed out of the apartment and down the street. This wouldn't be as far away as the previous one.
This time, they took Kaoru's car and Die told him the way. After a couple of minutes, the black-haired man turned his head and frowned. "Where are you taking me? This is a dangerous district." Instinctively, he reached for the button that locked the doors when they were driving into a small, dark alley. This was the redlight-district, brothels and bars lining the dirty streets; and only the scum of the city was living here.
"We need to see someone." Die just repeated what he had said earlier already, looking out of the window and refusing to turn his gaze. "Don't worry. You're safe."
"If you say so." The words were only mumbled and Kaoru directed his gaze back to the road. He still trusted the angel, but was angry at him nevertheless. First, the mission hadn't been important at all and now it was dictating both of their lives, kept them from being happy together. And what disturbed Kaoru even more, was that Die seemed to be really serious about this. So serious that he even forgot his bouncy self.
It would've been easier for Die to be bouncy and happy still if he hadn't been worrying about the approaching of the day when they needed to part eventually. And he was a bit troubled by how the other looked at him, as if there had been accusation in the gaze. He didn't say anything though, and only kept on staring out of the window until he spoke up silently. "Stop here."
The car still rolled a few meters until Kaoru had found a parking space and finally stopped. Wordlessly, he opened the door and got out, waiting for the other to follow him and tell him where to go. He would have so much just wanted to spend that day in bed, not thinking about any mission. But instead, he was standing in the middle of an almost empty street in the redlight district. Of course all the bars were closed, only a few beggars looking through the garbage to find something to eat.
Die got out of the car, taking a look around before nodding as he had recognized where they should head to. He came to the other man, reaching his hand towards him. He hesitated for a moment, but then just got a grip of himself and took the other's hand in his.
Instantly, Kaoru relaxed and even squeezed the hand a bit. He knew he was acting like a stubborn teenager and he also knew that none of this was Die's fault, nor his wish. Together, they crossed the street and entered a smaller one. There was dirt everywhere and in the recesses, it smelled like urine and rotting food. It caused a shiver to run down the black-haired man's spine and his hackles to curl. But he trusted the other that he wasn't in danger and thus focused on taking firm steps forward.
There was determination in Die's steps and he led them to the place where they were supposed to be. It was a crappy building, ready to collapse any minute, and when they stepped inside, a foul smell hit them, making them wish they were somewhere else instantly.
Instinctively, Kaoru brought his free arm to cover his nose and he threw a pained glance at the redhead, pulling a disgusted face. It took a moment until he had fought down the urge to throw up and until he dared to breathe again; only through the mouth though. Carefully, they climbed the staircase which led to the first floor. The walls were full of graffiti and there was no handrail. Not, that Kaoru would've touched it anyways.
There were random things and junk just everywhere on the floors and stairs, and it was easy to trip on something if one wasn't as careful as possible. On the first floor Die went straight to one door, walking into the room where the one they were looking for was supposed to be.
It was only dimly lit, darker than the hall, and it took a moment before Kaoru's eyes got used to the grey shadows. They were standing in the middle of what once used to be a living-room, but now, there was only an old shabby couch and a small table; no carpet, no pictures on the walls, nothing. Soft noises were reaching their ears from the room next doors and Kaoru took a few steps toward them, curiously peeking through the small gap of the ajar door.
Die didn't follow instantly and just closed his eyes for a moment, trying to force the bad feelings inside of him away. He couldn't just run, and he wouldn't, although this was his first impulse. He shouldn't be this bothered by places like that. Finally he followed the other man though and gently placed a hand on his shoulder as he was leaning closer. To show his appreciation, Kaoru placed his hand on the angel's, but didn't turn around. He kept on staring through the gap, but finally took a deep breath and stepped closer.
There was a bed in the room and somebody was sitting on it while another figure kneeled between his legs, obviously giving him a blowjob. A shudder ran through Kaoru, because he instantly knew what was going on and automatically, he took a step backwards, bumping against Die. The man on the bed was groaning, mumbling something and finally patted the other man's head. "Good boy." Petrified, Kaoru watched how the man stood up, closed his pants and threw something on the bed. Before he could react in any way, the guy was walking right through him; making him gasp at the unpleasant feeling.
Instinctively Die pulled Kaoru closer to himself while moving so that they still had a good view of what was going on inside of the room. The man who had been left alone was now sitting on the floor now, leaning his back against the bed and reached out to take what the other man had thrown away. "He's the one." Die spoke lowly straight to the other's ear. "The one we came to see."
They were witnessing how the young man took a tea-spoon and emptied the content of the small plastic bag in it, after adjusting his belt around his arm. He heated the spoon with a lighter and then pulled the content into a small injection. Pulling the belt, he slapped the inside of his arm a couple of times. "C'mon..." and finally brought the needle to it.
"No!" Instinctively, Kaoru launched forward, attempting to prevent the man from taking the drug, but he went right through him, as if he was made of air. Only when Kaoru finally was able to orientate again, the man was already finished and had closed his eyes. "You stupid idiot!"
"Kaoru, calm down." Die took a step closer, carefully pulling the other away from the man who seemed to be in his own world right now. He wrapped his arms around his lover, holding him as he directed his gaze back at the man they'd come to see. "He used to play bass. And he was extremely talented too. I guess you already know the rest." His voice was faint, and it was obvious that everything in this bothered him as well.
Biting his lip, the black-haired man nodded. He had to swallow hard against the lump in his throat, but finally got a hold of himself, detached from his lover and crouched down in front of the possible bassist of his band. He looked older than he probably was, dark circles under his eyes, his skin waxen and pale. Kaoru could imagine that he had been good-looking once, gorgeous even and he couldn't help but to feel a twitch in his stomach when he thought about the fact that he was partly the reason for his miserable state.
Finally, he tore his eyes off the pitiful figure, stood up and approached Die again. "It's so unfair. Why am I the one who's responsible for things like this?" He whined and sneaked his arms around the redhead's waist, burying his face in the crook of his shoulder.
Instinctively Die wrapped his arms around the other's form, pulling him closer to give all the warmth and consolation he had to offer. "It's still not your fault. But you're one who could help them." His voice was faint, because he wasn't sure what to say. It all felt like putting too much pressure on the other man.
Kaoru was trembling slightly, but he told himself that it was because of the cold in the room. Actually though, it was because of the just witnessed, because of the coldness it caused to spread in his heart. "But then it is my fault," he blurted out stubbornly. "I am the one who could change his life, who could save him from being a drug addicted hooker." He shook his head, trying to get rid of the unwanted feelings.
"Yeah, you could. But there are other people who could've done it too." Die took a hold of the other's chin, forcing him look him in the eye. "So you're not the only option, and none of this happened only because of you. But still, you're the one who has the best chances to change things, since you're this amazing person you are. There's many up there who trust you." He stroked his lover's chin slowly with his thumb, gazing him deep in the eye.
For a few heartbeats, Kaoru was closing his eyes, just enjoying the touch and thinking about his lover's words. "If I decide to become a rockstar," he spoke finally, needing to know it, "what will happen then? Is there a guarantee that things will turn out well for them?" Slowly, he opened his eyes again, holding the other's gaze. "Is there, Die?"
"There's no guarantee for anything." Die felt like he owed the other the truth, and just told him without trying to make lame excuses or make it look better in any way. "You'd just have a fair chance."
"Okay." Nodding, Kaoru detached from his lover and reached out to take his hand. "Please let's go somewhere else. This place gives me the creeps." He really meant it and just didn't want to be there to witness when the young drug-addict came back from his high, began to puke or rage or when he died.
The redhead nodded, silently leading them out of the building and towards the car. They walked quietly, not exchanging a word and just holding each other's hands tight. The sight had disturbed the angel surprisingly much as well, although he'd known what would wait for them.
Although Kaoru felt a bit shaky still, he drove steadily and managed to focus on the traffic. When he had parked the car in the basement garage of his apartment-complex, he undid the seatbelt and suddenly leaned over to the angel, grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him close into a deep kiss. That was what he needed right at that moment. The feeling of love, the heat of the kiss and the other's proximity slowly banishing the cold and dark shadows that had clouded his heart and soul.
Instantly Die responded, a relieved sigh escaping his lips and drowning somewhere into the kiss. He took the other's head between his hands, holding him gently so that he wasn't able to pull away abruptly. It took a long while, but finally they parted, just silently looking each other in the eye for a moment.
"Thank you," Kaoru whispered and pecked his lips once more before he exited the car. He felt awkward and insecure like he hadn't felt in a long time; somehow as if he were the guy who had to decide if he saved his own son or the man who can heal cancer from drowning. Still, he wasn't willing to give up on his love, now that he had found it. "When I decide against becoming a rockstar, will you stay with me?" he asked once the elevator door had closed behind them.
"Yes." Die sighed a bit as he knew what was going on in the other's head. "My mission is to make you do it. And I'll stay for as long as it takes." He didn't know what he was supposed to think about all this now. If one had asked him he'd said he simply wanted to be with the other man. But then again, he felt responsible for completing his mission too, and therefore tried not to show it.
Frustrated, Kaoru ran his spread fingers through his hair and sighed. Why was fate so hard on him? Why had he been chosen and why had God, or whoever, sent such a gorgeous angel to be his guidance. But then he remembered that it hadn't been Die's mission in the first place and the fact elicited a faint smile from him. Although they had reached the right floor already and the elevator door opened, he remained glued to his place. "What will happen? I mean when I decide to change their fate?"
Die had already taken a step towards the door, but now froze in the movement, a small lump suddenly in his throat. So Kaoru had decided to become a star? "You'll go back to the time when you made these decisions. And you'll forget everything of this life." He spoke quietly, not looking directly into the other's eyes.
"Okay." Without the angel noticing it, Kaoru had stepped closer and now wrapped his arms around his waist from behind. "So I can grow old and tired together with you and then still become a good person." It was a statement and there was a tiny bit relief mixed in it as Kaoru thought he had figured out a clever plan.
"No." The redhead closed his eyes, leaning a bit against the other like seeking some comfort. "We don't have that much time. So it's either or, and you have to decide."
"But you said you stay until I decide. What if it takes me fifty years?" Desperation was clearly audible in Kaoru's voice and he pressed himself closer against his lover's body, listening to his heartbeat by putting his head on his back.
"Well, if you run out of time then you just have to live this life through, without the chance to go back anymore." Die tried his best to explain, although he didn't even know himself completely how these things worked. "But then I technically just failed my mission and might be allowed to stay."
"Might be?" Like defeated, Kaoru detached from the angel, bowed his head and walked passed him into the hallway towards the entrance of his apartment. What did he want? He didn't know it anymore. Of course he wanted the other to be with him, to stay forever. But on the other hand, could he be this selfish and just leave the two poor souls he had met to their fate? Numb on the inside, he opened the door and stepped into the living-room, slipped out of his shoes and hung his jacket on the hanger with mechanic movements.
Silently the angel followed, almost feeling like crying himself as he knew how bad the other must feel. When he was close enough he wrapped his arms around the human, gently pulling him onto the couch and into his embrace.
They lay there silently for a long while, neither of them feeling like saying anything. Finally, Kaoru turned around, buried his face in the other's shirt and closed his eyes. He was too exhausted to even realize that he was falling asleep.
Die simply held him, stroking his back softly with slow movements, offering everything he had to give as support. This was Kaoru's decision alone, and he couldn't interfere with it more than by telling him the facts and answering his questions honestly.
He didn't sleep for long though, the unpleasant memories waking him up again soon. Instantly, he lifted his head and looked straight into the angel's dark eyes, slowly shaking his head. "I won't do it. I won't go back. There's too many unknown and I won't risk what we have for a 'maybe'."
It made the angel smile a bit, he couldn't help it. And although he knew he should try to convince the other he just leaned closer, initiating a soft kiss. It caused a relieved sigh to spill from Kaoru's lips as he just melted into the kiss, poured everything into the contact which he had to give. Inwardly, he was certain that Die wanted only him and it was just the job that made him show him all these miserable people and tell him the facts.
After they parted the redhead was still smiling softly, caressing the other's cheek with his thumb. "I'm sorry you have to go through all this."
"It's not your fault." Kaoru shook his head, mirroring the smile. "You only do your job." Bowing his head, he whispered. "But now you did your duty for today and you have free time you can use as you wish."
"Aw," Die's smile brightened, and he even had to chuckle a bit. "I can do anything I wish? Even if it includes molesting a remotely innocent person?"
"Yes, even if it includes that." Kaoru needed some carefree moments, needed to get rid of the oppressing thoughts which had occupied his mind since the day before; needed it urgently. And he was glad that the redhead didn't bother the change in topic but instead committed himself to the game.
"And even if I want that someone to molest me in return?" There was the familiar sparkle in the redhead's eyes, the one that had been mostly gone lately.
"Well," Kaoru drawled and let his eyes wander towards the ceiling, pretending to ponder, "you will have to try and see what he does."
"But I have hope?" Die leaned in to nibble on the other's chin softly, tentatively sliding his hands under the other's shirt and pulling him closer.
Sighing contently, Kaoru nodded and tilted his head a bit to grant the other man better access. "I guess so. He's at least not completely unwilling." To emphasize his words, he ran his hands down the redhead's sides until he had reached the hem of his shirt, softly caressing the skin that was revealed there.
"Good. So I'll try." The angel had ended the trail of small kisses he planted on the other's jaw, and reached to press a proper kiss on his lips. It made him almost irrationally happy that they were still able to share moments like that, moments that only held positive emotions, despite all the bad things that had happened.
The black-haired man in his arms was even more relieved, because for those few moments of tender touches and deep kisses, he managed to forget the happenings of the day, even forgot that he might lose the angel sooner or later. All that mattered were the both of them as the rest of the world seemed to stop existing. They didn't exchange any words for the moment, the feelings almost palpable in the air between them as they were getting lost in each other, enjoying every single touch, every second to the fullest.
Only when they were sweaty, stained and physically exhausted, they managed to rest a bit again. They didn't leave the couch though, Kaoru only reaching for a woollen blanket, which lay on the armchair close by, to cover their heated bodies. That night, he slept perfectly well, surrounded by his lover's scent and warmed by his body underneath.
Even in the morning after waking up they were resting against each other, calmed by each other's presence. The experiences of the past days didn't feel like suffocating them any longer, as those had faded a bit.
The bright sun warmed his back and finally, Kaoru decided to open his eyes. "I think I should go to work. I don't feel like seeing the next one yet." He smiled a bit, and tilted his head. "There is another one, right?" He was sure that those two hadn't been all and just wanted a normal day in between to gather some strength for the next part of the mission. "You can lie on my desk and distract me by being your alluring self," he offered chuckling and winked at the redhead.
"Well, we have two more. So we're kinda halfway through it." Die smiled, looked the other deep in the eye and pecked his lips softly, before wriggling a bit to signal they should get up. "And I'd be honoured to come and make your work hard since you can't concentrate."
"Good." Almost high-spirited and definitely looking forward to work, Kaoru jumped up and they took a shower together. That, of course, took a bit longer and they were just on time when they entered the huge office where Kaoru was working. His colleagues were looking disbelievingly at him and he whispered, without moving his lips. "Are my clothes upside down or why are they staring?"
"No idea." Die frowned thoughtfully, looking around in the room until he spotted a calendar on the wall. "Well, technically you've skipped work for some days now..." He didn't know that Kaoru hadn't been at work while he had been gone, but he knew at least that he hadn't been there the past two days.
"What? Time is running for me DESPITE the mission?" Instantly after the words had left his lips, Kaoru slapped his hand on his mouth, because he had been quite loud. The door to his boss' office opened and the man ordered him inside. With a bowed head, knowing that this couldn't mean anything good, the black-haired man followed the invitation.
Die followed behind, straight after his lover as he sensed this wasn't good. The boss looked calm at first sight, but when one looked closely one could see he was just trying to hold back his anger, his eyes flaming with it.
Without giving Kaoru the slightest chance to defend himself, the man began to yell at him and told him off like a father did with a son. Not even Kaoru's repeated 'sorrys' were stopping him in any way. The man ended his tirade with the words "You are fired. Get your check and then leave and never come back."
Die saw the shock in Kaoru's eyes, and just took a hold of his shoulders calmingly, practically guiding him out of the office and to take care of the necessary things. This was bad, he knew how much his work, his responsibility, had meant for his lover and now it was suddenly gone.
"You should've told me!" Accusation was clearly audible in Kaoru's voice. "I really thought time stopped. I mean, I fucking was invisible for living people!" He still hadn't processed the whole magnitude of what had just happened and looked slightly confused.
"I'm sorry!" The redhead sighed in deep, just trying to somehow defend himself. "I didn't realize it was so important. And it had to be done!"
"Yes, but I could've at least called sick or asked for holidays. Goddamnit, how do you think I shall pay my bills now? My apartment isn't exactly cheap and I need to eat too." Suddenly, everything seemed to fall apart and really nothing was as it had been before. Kaoru knew that Die hadn't meant it to cause troubles like that, but he was an angel, he didn't need to eat and could just waltz into a stranger's home and sleep on his couch without him noticing it, if he was cold.
"I'm sorry, I really am." Die looked truly desperate, only now realizing how much troubles he had caused for the other man. "I'll come up with something... I can take care of you." He had no idea how to do it exactly, but he knew he had to try, he wanted to do everything he could for the other.
That on the other hand, elicited a sweet smile from Kaoru and he put his hand on the angel's reddened cheek, planting a wet kiss on his lips. "You are cute, really. But I am curious how you want to achieve that."
"Just gimme time to think." A small smile crept on the redhead's lips as he realized the other man wasn't that mad at him. "Preferably a lot of time to think..."
"You should come up with something, or I will have to become a friggin' rockstar, just because I'd be starving otherwise." The words were spoken carelessly, accompanied by a few chuckles, and only afterwards, Kaoru realized what he just had said. He shrugged the unwanted feeling off though and went on as if nothing had happened. "Or I become a painter and you have to be my muse and my nude model."
"I could do that." Die had noticed the other's words, but decided to ignore them and go with the merrier topic for now. "You'd even get realistic wings for the picture!"
"If only I could draw," Kaoru winked grinning. "Or at least take a photo of you." Seeing that his work had annoyed him anyways and he would surely find something new soon, Kaoru decided not to bother too much anymore. He had some savings on which he could live until he got another job and this way, he could enjoy more time with the redhead. A huge plus, if one asked him.
The day didn't turn out to be that bad after all, and they just left the place hand in hand, going to some cheap burger place to get the human something to eat. The rest of the day they used only in forgetting about everything unpleasant, and enjoying each other's company.
Since Kaoru didn't have to go to work the next morning, there was no alarm which woke the two. So they slept in late and only woke up shortly before noon. The black-haired man had slept quite well, although he had woken up every now and then, bugged by fear about his future, about how he was supposed to go on without a job and about the decision he would have to take once. But one thing was for sure, he wouldn't just leave Die for the sake of an unknown future. But he had to admit that the fate of this bassist really had stirred his heart and he was afraid of the encounters which still lay in ahead of him. Luckily, Kaoru had managed to push aside those fears and fall asleep again, so that he was well rested.
Die couldn't help but to be somewhat nervous about what would come as well, because he had seen how hard it had been for the other to witness the things thus far. And he knew that things weren't going to become easier right now, not when it came to the mission. He tried his best to be in a good mood though, thinking that it'd be easier for the other that way too. As the angel saw the man beside him blink and open his eyes he instantly smiled at him affectionately. "How're you feeling?" He wasn't sure when they should go to see the next person on the list.
"Good." Kaoru answered the smile and instinctively shifted a bit closer to the redhead. "But I think you've already got a plan in mind how to destroy the mood." He was determined to take things as they came, since there wasn't any possibility to change them anyways; for neither of them. Still, he couldn't help but to be sarcastic. "So tell me, what are we going to do today?"
"Well, if you want we can just spend this day at home." Die promised, somehow wanting to make things as easy for the blackhaired man as possible. If it meant delaying the mission, then be it. "And we can go destroy your mood some other day. But if you feel like it, we can go today too."
For a moment, Kaoru's eyes became distant and he looked right through him, pondering. The thought of just spending the day together with his lover without having to witness some people's life going down, was tempting. On the one hand, he would've just wanted to get over this mission as soon as possible, but on the other, he was afraid that Die wouldn't be allowed to stay, even if he declined to go back in time and change things. "How many are there to come still?" he finally asked the man beside him and smiled faintly.
"Two." The angel answered with a soft smile, stroking the other's cheek with his thumb. "The one who was supposed to be the vocalist, and the second guitarist."
"Second guitarist?" Kaoru arched an eyebrow and then nodded. "Okay, then let's go and see the next today." He looked the other straight in the eyes for a few seconds, but then smirked. "And I hope you have a good reward in mind for me being so brave."
"I'm so proud of you." Die's smile brightened, and he couldn't resist to just plant a quick kiss on the other's lips. "And I will reward you with whatever you want, I promise!"
"That sounds fair." Swiftly, Kaoru rolled on top of the redhead and gave him a deep kiss. He broke it before time though and stood up, winking at the other. "The earlier we're there, the earlier I get my reward."
The only answer he got from the redhead was a chuckle, and the angel forced himself to get up from the bed instantly. They got ready in no time, just slipping into their clothes and eating something, and then they were already heading to the train station, because Die had said the next one would be a bit further away.
Kaoru had leaned his cheek against the cool window and stared outside into the distance, asking himself where the next person would await them. When the train passed the suburbs, it came clear that it wouldn't be in Tokyo.
"Just relax." Die looked at him, not able to hide the worry in his gaze. "It'll take a long while before we're there."
"How am I supposed to relax when I don't know what's waiting for me?" Kaoru looked at him through the glass, his breath clouding the window. "I still think it's unfair that the decision's only upon me. And I just do it so that you're not getting into troubles with your boss."
"You're probably the only one in the condition who you can make the decision." The angel stated, since at least that was the only reason he saw why it necessarily had to be Kaoru to decide. "Or maybe that stressed drummer might've been an option."
"He wasn't even capable to withstand his horrible wife." Slowly, Kaoru turned his head to face the other man. "I don't mean that you need to have answers to all my questions," he said quietly. "It's just that it's so unfair."
"I know," The answer came with a faint smile. "But I'm here to answer your questions as best as I can."
"And to stand me by, I hope." The black-haired man added and leaned a bit against the other.
"It wasn't a part of the mission at first," Die's voice was soft, barely audible, and he slowly circled one arm around the other. "but I want to take care of you."
"Die...?" Kaoru tilted his head, gazing deep into the angel's eyes. "I know you just came here because you thought I was hot and because of the mission, but-," he was looking for the right words, "but that isn't the case anymore, is it?" They had never said that they loved each other and for some reason, it hadn't bothered Kaoru. He was certain, that what they had was love and it hadn't been needed to voice it out loud, but suddenly, he felt all alone and just wanted to hear that the angel was sticking with him for more reasons than the mission and basic hornyness.
"No." The angel smiled honestly, leaning a bit closer until their foreheads were almost touching. He felt like he could simply drown in the other's eyes, and wouldn't even mind being trapped there forever. It was clear to him that Kaoru was special, and that what they shared was something he would never go through again.
Throughout the rest of the drive, they remained silent. Kaoru was resting against Die's shoulder, blinking at him from time to time, and thought that as long as the other was there, he'd be capable to go through anything fate had decided for him. Just feeling the angel's presence there, knowing he would look after him, was sufficient to take part of the stress away from him.
Finally, their stop came and they got off the train. It seemed to be a rather small place, and Die stood still for a moment before he knew the direction they were supposed to head to. He grabbed Kaoru's hand in his, determinedly taking long steps.
The smaller man had problems to follow him, but he didn't complain. Curiously, he eyed their surrounding as he had never been in that district before. Did this still belong to Tokyo? However, he was waiting for what lay ahead of them and clung to his lover's hand for support.
"We shouldn't really be here." Die turned to smile slightly at the other man over his shoulder. "Only relatives are allowed to visit, and that only under careful guarding."
"Guarding?" Just when the question had slipped Kaoru, he realized that they had been walking straight through the door of a huge building. Even the fences outside and the high wall hadn't stopped them, nor had he noticed them. Now, they were walking down a long corridor which was flooded with cold neon light. "Is this what I think it is?" Kaoru asked hesitantly, not really wanting to hear the answer. But the cells they had been passing by, along with screams and whines that were echoing through the doors here and there, spoke a clear language.
"I guess you got it right." Instinctively Die tightened his hold on the other's hand, as this place gave him the creeps and he was quite sure that the other would be even more bothered. "A mental asylum. Nuthouse, so to say. And we're here to see one of the persons who live here." The corridors were long, didn't seem to end ever and although Die knew that no one else was able to hear their voices those seemed to echo strangely from the walls.
An ice-cold shiver ran down Kaoru's spine and he instantly wished he had chosen to spend the day just with the other, careless fooling around, screwing a bit, without having to face a place like this. He had never been in a mental asylum, but just like everybody, he had had a clear image of it in his head. And he found this image partly confirmed right now.
They had to go through several doors, into the more guarded part of the place, and it somehow seemed to get the colder the further they left the world outside behind. Finally Die stopped in front of one cell which apparently was what they had been looking for. "Be strong." He squeezed the other's hand, whispering the words silently.
As if the thick barrier was made of air, they stepped through it inside the cell. Kaoru had always thought that padded cells were only some kind of invention of moviemakers or a relict of old times, but he was proven wrong. The room was brightly lit and in a corner, he spotted a small figure, who was hugging his legs close to his chest and stared blankly into nothingness. But something made him look up and his gaze seemed to pierce Kaoru, caused another shiver to run down his spine.
"He was supposed to be the vocalist." Die begun, instinctively lowering his voice for some reason as he began to talk, his eyes fixed on the small man. "He had talent, both as a vocalist and as a lyricist, but his mind was too unsteady, I guess."
Before Kaoru could reply anything, the small man with short, wild, black hair began to rock back and forth, grabbing his head with both hands and screamed. "The voices... Voices are back. Haunting me." Instinctively, Kaoru took a step backwards and almost tripped.
Automatically the redhead reached out for the other man, grabbing his arm to steady him. He couldn't deny that this small man made him feel definitely uncomfortable too, but he forced himself to stay still. "They give him pills and all, but nothing seems to help really. He used to hurt himself as well, before they got him here."
Only then, Kaoru noticed the scars that were shown on the small man's wrists and he honestly pitied him. "There's no hope that he'll be healed once?" His voice was merely a whisper, because he could've sworn that the other could hear him.
"Well, nothing's sure." Die shrugged, his eyes reflecting the pity he felt for the man before them, as he truly felt bad for him. "But probably he'll just go deeper into that state."
"And it's YOUR fault!" Suddenly, the small man jumped at his feet and launched himself at Kaoru. Of course, he was going straight through him, but this action caused a highly unpleasant feeling for the black-haired man. Instinctively, Kaoru reached out his hand, wanting to prevent the other from falling down, but his hand went through him like air. The lunatic instead jumped back up, his face flushed and madness showing in the depths of his eyes.
"Come on. We go." The redhead grabbed his lover's arms, staring at the small man in front of them with slightly widened eyes. This had surprised him as well, he hadn't expected the man to be able to see either of them. But apparently he heard them and saw at least Kaoru.
Shocked and unable to move, Kaoru allowed his lover to drag him outside. His knees were weak and he was trembling all over. What had just happened? Did the other really see them or was it just a part of his ill mind? Slowly, he got a hold of himself and only wanted to flee the scenery, wanted to get as far from there as possible and that quick.
They made their way out of there as soon as they were able to, and only when they were almost at the train station again Die broke the silence that had landed upon them. "I'm sorry. I should've taken better care of you."
"Nothing happened." Kaoru answered calmly. He still was trying to process the just experienced, tried to understand it. "And you took care of me." Forcing a smile on his lips, the black-haired man pulled his lover closer to himself.
"I didn't know he could see us." The redhead instinctively hugged the other tight, closing his eyes to concentrate on the closeness for a brief moment. "But thankfully nothing happened."
"Maybe he didn't see us and it was just one of his usual outbreaks. We'll never know." Kaoru just wanted to get rid of the unpleasant feelings inside him, but he couldn't hide that this encounter had left a deep impression. Maybe he should stop being so selfish and should give it a try; should go back and do his best to make those persons' lives less miserable.
They were silent for a moment, before the angel spoke up again. "You think you'll be able to face the rest of it today? Or shall we come back for the last one later?" The last thing they were supposed to see wasn't far away, but he didn't want to make the other go through more than he was able to take.
"Let's get it over with." Kaoru stated, giving his voice a secure undertone. However, his hand, which was still clutching the redhead's, was cold and clammy, giving away how much everything had shocked him.
Author:
seinen_no and fonulynRating: NC17 overall
Pairing: Die and Kaoru
Disclaimer: We own no one, only our dirty imaginations.
Summary: Kaoru is just an ordinary man, leading an ordinary life, until one day he gets an unexpected visitor from above in form of a bouncy angel who is going to turn his life upside down.
Comments:
seinen_no: Hi girls^^ I think we didn't take too long, did we? Anyways, more plot to come XD Some of you might find their suspicions confirmed now, but I hope you like it anyways. Oh, and there's still one more chap to come. Forgive me, but I'm braindead (I think that's a constant state now...). Have fun reading and thank you for all your nice comments so far.fonulyn: Hello again^^ I really don’t know what to say right now, my brains are empty from any thoughts x) Well, the story is getting more melancholy, but I think it’s still having its sweet sides too. I hope you still enjoy reading it^^Previously happened: Heaven Sent, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5
Chapter 6
The alarm woke both of them the next morning and Kaoru felt as if he hadn't slept a minute. A bit grumpy, he hit the clock and turned around again, snuggling close to the redhead under the blanket. He didn't feel like getting up at all, more like doing nothing and being lazy.
Die didn't feel like getting up either, and for a moment he allowed himself to enjoy the closeness still. But he knew they couldn't stay in bed for all day. "Kao?" He spoke up after a moment, breaking the comfortable silence with his sleepy voice. He didn't open his eyes though, nor made any move. "We have things to do today."
"Yeah." The other nodded, not looking up as well. "I gotta go to work." He knew, that Die had meant something else, had meant the mission. But he wasn't in the mood for meeting another ruined existence.
"No... we need to go see someone." The redhead grumbled, not really eager about it either. He would've rather just forgot about the whole mission.
Somehow, both were moody and with an annoyed sigh, Kaoru rolled himself away from the angel, mumbling something in disagreement. However, he obediently slipped into a shirt and stepped into his comfortable jeans.
Die sat up on the bed, rubbing his eyes with his palms. He didn't like it, not one bit, that the mission seemed to get between them in a way, and they weren't able to be as carefree around each other anymore. But there was nothing he could do about it.
Within five minutes, Kaoru was fully dressed and looked at the other invitingly. "I'm ready. Let's go." He knew that it was unfair of him to blame Die, but since he couldn't possibly call God and tell him to stick his nose into somebody else's life, the redhead had to suffer.
Instantly the angel got up from the bed. He didn't dare to look the other man in the eye and bit his lip slightly, trying to think about something else than the awkwardness that stood between them. He nodded and then headed out of the apartment and down the street. This wouldn't be as far away as the previous one.
This time, they took Kaoru's car and Die told him the way. After a couple of minutes, the black-haired man turned his head and frowned. "Where are you taking me? This is a dangerous district." Instinctively, he reached for the button that locked the doors when they were driving into a small, dark alley. This was the redlight-district, brothels and bars lining the dirty streets; and only the scum of the city was living here.
"We need to see someone." Die just repeated what he had said earlier already, looking out of the window and refusing to turn his gaze. "Don't worry. You're safe."
"If you say so." The words were only mumbled and Kaoru directed his gaze back to the road. He still trusted the angel, but was angry at him nevertheless. First, the mission hadn't been important at all and now it was dictating both of their lives, kept them from being happy together. And what disturbed Kaoru even more, was that Die seemed to be really serious about this. So serious that he even forgot his bouncy self.
It would've been easier for Die to be bouncy and happy still if he hadn't been worrying about the approaching of the day when they needed to part eventually. And he was a bit troubled by how the other looked at him, as if there had been accusation in the gaze. He didn't say anything though, and only kept on staring out of the window until he spoke up silently. "Stop here."
The car still rolled a few meters until Kaoru had found a parking space and finally stopped. Wordlessly, he opened the door and got out, waiting for the other to follow him and tell him where to go. He would have so much just wanted to spend that day in bed, not thinking about any mission. But instead, he was standing in the middle of an almost empty street in the redlight district. Of course all the bars were closed, only a few beggars looking through the garbage to find something to eat.
Die got out of the car, taking a look around before nodding as he had recognized where they should head to. He came to the other man, reaching his hand towards him. He hesitated for a moment, but then just got a grip of himself and took the other's hand in his.
Instantly, Kaoru relaxed and even squeezed the hand a bit. He knew he was acting like a stubborn teenager and he also knew that none of this was Die's fault, nor his wish. Together, they crossed the street and entered a smaller one. There was dirt everywhere and in the recesses, it smelled like urine and rotting food. It caused a shiver to run down the black-haired man's spine and his hackles to curl. But he trusted the other that he wasn't in danger and thus focused on taking firm steps forward.
There was determination in Die's steps and he led them to the place where they were supposed to be. It was a crappy building, ready to collapse any minute, and when they stepped inside, a foul smell hit them, making them wish they were somewhere else instantly.
Instinctively, Kaoru brought his free arm to cover his nose and he threw a pained glance at the redhead, pulling a disgusted face. It took a moment until he had fought down the urge to throw up and until he dared to breathe again; only through the mouth though. Carefully, they climbed the staircase which led to the first floor. The walls were full of graffiti and there was no handrail. Not, that Kaoru would've touched it anyways.
There were random things and junk just everywhere on the floors and stairs, and it was easy to trip on something if one wasn't as careful as possible. On the first floor Die went straight to one door, walking into the room where the one they were looking for was supposed to be.
It was only dimly lit, darker than the hall, and it took a moment before Kaoru's eyes got used to the grey shadows. They were standing in the middle of what once used to be a living-room, but now, there was only an old shabby couch and a small table; no carpet, no pictures on the walls, nothing. Soft noises were reaching their ears from the room next doors and Kaoru took a few steps toward them, curiously peeking through the small gap of the ajar door.
Die didn't follow instantly and just closed his eyes for a moment, trying to force the bad feelings inside of him away. He couldn't just run, and he wouldn't, although this was his first impulse. He shouldn't be this bothered by places like that. Finally he followed the other man though and gently placed a hand on his shoulder as he was leaning closer. To show his appreciation, Kaoru placed his hand on the angel's, but didn't turn around. He kept on staring through the gap, but finally took a deep breath and stepped closer.
There was a bed in the room and somebody was sitting on it while another figure kneeled between his legs, obviously giving him a blowjob. A shudder ran through Kaoru, because he instantly knew what was going on and automatically, he took a step backwards, bumping against Die. The man on the bed was groaning, mumbling something and finally patted the other man's head. "Good boy." Petrified, Kaoru watched how the man stood up, closed his pants and threw something on the bed. Before he could react in any way, the guy was walking right through him; making him gasp at the unpleasant feeling.
Instinctively Die pulled Kaoru closer to himself while moving so that they still had a good view of what was going on inside of the room. The man who had been left alone was now sitting on the floor now, leaning his back against the bed and reached out to take what the other man had thrown away. "He's the one." Die spoke lowly straight to the other's ear. "The one we came to see."
They were witnessing how the young man took a tea-spoon and emptied the content of the small plastic bag in it, after adjusting his belt around his arm. He heated the spoon with a lighter and then pulled the content into a small injection. Pulling the belt, he slapped the inside of his arm a couple of times. "C'mon..." and finally brought the needle to it.
"No!" Instinctively, Kaoru launched forward, attempting to prevent the man from taking the drug, but he went right through him, as if he was made of air. Only when Kaoru finally was able to orientate again, the man was already finished and had closed his eyes. "You stupid idiot!"
"Kaoru, calm down." Die took a step closer, carefully pulling the other away from the man who seemed to be in his own world right now. He wrapped his arms around his lover, holding him as he directed his gaze back at the man they'd come to see. "He used to play bass. And he was extremely talented too. I guess you already know the rest." His voice was faint, and it was obvious that everything in this bothered him as well.
Biting his lip, the black-haired man nodded. He had to swallow hard against the lump in his throat, but finally got a hold of himself, detached from his lover and crouched down in front of the possible bassist of his band. He looked older than he probably was, dark circles under his eyes, his skin waxen and pale. Kaoru could imagine that he had been good-looking once, gorgeous even and he couldn't help but to feel a twitch in his stomach when he thought about the fact that he was partly the reason for his miserable state.
Finally, he tore his eyes off the pitiful figure, stood up and approached Die again. "It's so unfair. Why am I the one who's responsible for things like this?" He whined and sneaked his arms around the redhead's waist, burying his face in the crook of his shoulder.
Instinctively Die wrapped his arms around the other's form, pulling him closer to give all the warmth and consolation he had to offer. "It's still not your fault. But you're one who could help them." His voice was faint, because he wasn't sure what to say. It all felt like putting too much pressure on the other man.
Kaoru was trembling slightly, but he told himself that it was because of the cold in the room. Actually though, it was because of the just witnessed, because of the coldness it caused to spread in his heart. "But then it is my fault," he blurted out stubbornly. "I am the one who could change his life, who could save him from being a drug addicted hooker." He shook his head, trying to get rid of the unwanted feelings.
"Yeah, you could. But there are other people who could've done it too." Die took a hold of the other's chin, forcing him look him in the eye. "So you're not the only option, and none of this happened only because of you. But still, you're the one who has the best chances to change things, since you're this amazing person you are. There's many up there who trust you." He stroked his lover's chin slowly with his thumb, gazing him deep in the eye.
For a few heartbeats, Kaoru was closing his eyes, just enjoying the touch and thinking about his lover's words. "If I decide to become a rockstar," he spoke finally, needing to know it, "what will happen then? Is there a guarantee that things will turn out well for them?" Slowly, he opened his eyes again, holding the other's gaze. "Is there, Die?"
"There's no guarantee for anything." Die felt like he owed the other the truth, and just told him without trying to make lame excuses or make it look better in any way. "You'd just have a fair chance."
"Okay." Nodding, Kaoru detached from his lover and reached out to take his hand. "Please let's go somewhere else. This place gives me the creeps." He really meant it and just didn't want to be there to witness when the young drug-addict came back from his high, began to puke or rage or when he died.
The redhead nodded, silently leading them out of the building and towards the car. They walked quietly, not exchanging a word and just holding each other's hands tight. The sight had disturbed the angel surprisingly much as well, although he'd known what would wait for them.
Although Kaoru felt a bit shaky still, he drove steadily and managed to focus on the traffic. When he had parked the car in the basement garage of his apartment-complex, he undid the seatbelt and suddenly leaned over to the angel, grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him close into a deep kiss. That was what he needed right at that moment. The feeling of love, the heat of the kiss and the other's proximity slowly banishing the cold and dark shadows that had clouded his heart and soul.
Instantly Die responded, a relieved sigh escaping his lips and drowning somewhere into the kiss. He took the other's head between his hands, holding him gently so that he wasn't able to pull away abruptly. It took a long while, but finally they parted, just silently looking each other in the eye for a moment.
"Thank you," Kaoru whispered and pecked his lips once more before he exited the car. He felt awkward and insecure like he hadn't felt in a long time; somehow as if he were the guy who had to decide if he saved his own son or the man who can heal cancer from drowning. Still, he wasn't willing to give up on his love, now that he had found it. "When I decide against becoming a rockstar, will you stay with me?" he asked once the elevator door had closed behind them.
"Yes." Die sighed a bit as he knew what was going on in the other's head. "My mission is to make you do it. And I'll stay for as long as it takes." He didn't know what he was supposed to think about all this now. If one had asked him he'd said he simply wanted to be with the other man. But then again, he felt responsible for completing his mission too, and therefore tried not to show it.
Frustrated, Kaoru ran his spread fingers through his hair and sighed. Why was fate so hard on him? Why had he been chosen and why had God, or whoever, sent such a gorgeous angel to be his guidance. But then he remembered that it hadn't been Die's mission in the first place and the fact elicited a faint smile from him. Although they had reached the right floor already and the elevator door opened, he remained glued to his place. "What will happen? I mean when I decide to change their fate?"
Die had already taken a step towards the door, but now froze in the movement, a small lump suddenly in his throat. So Kaoru had decided to become a star? "You'll go back to the time when you made these decisions. And you'll forget everything of this life." He spoke quietly, not looking directly into the other's eyes.
"Okay." Without the angel noticing it, Kaoru had stepped closer and now wrapped his arms around his waist from behind. "So I can grow old and tired together with you and then still become a good person." It was a statement and there was a tiny bit relief mixed in it as Kaoru thought he had figured out a clever plan.
"No." The redhead closed his eyes, leaning a bit against the other like seeking some comfort. "We don't have that much time. So it's either or, and you have to decide."
"But you said you stay until I decide. What if it takes me fifty years?" Desperation was clearly audible in Kaoru's voice and he pressed himself closer against his lover's body, listening to his heartbeat by putting his head on his back.
"Well, if you run out of time then you just have to live this life through, without the chance to go back anymore." Die tried his best to explain, although he didn't even know himself completely how these things worked. "But then I technically just failed my mission and might be allowed to stay."
"Might be?" Like defeated, Kaoru detached from the angel, bowed his head and walked passed him into the hallway towards the entrance of his apartment. What did he want? He didn't know it anymore. Of course he wanted the other to be with him, to stay forever. But on the other hand, could he be this selfish and just leave the two poor souls he had met to their fate? Numb on the inside, he opened the door and stepped into the living-room, slipped out of his shoes and hung his jacket on the hanger with mechanic movements.
Silently the angel followed, almost feeling like crying himself as he knew how bad the other must feel. When he was close enough he wrapped his arms around the human, gently pulling him onto the couch and into his embrace.
They lay there silently for a long while, neither of them feeling like saying anything. Finally, Kaoru turned around, buried his face in the other's shirt and closed his eyes. He was too exhausted to even realize that he was falling asleep.
Die simply held him, stroking his back softly with slow movements, offering everything he had to give as support. This was Kaoru's decision alone, and he couldn't interfere with it more than by telling him the facts and answering his questions honestly.
He didn't sleep for long though, the unpleasant memories waking him up again soon. Instantly, he lifted his head and looked straight into the angel's dark eyes, slowly shaking his head. "I won't do it. I won't go back. There's too many unknown and I won't risk what we have for a 'maybe'."
It made the angel smile a bit, he couldn't help it. And although he knew he should try to convince the other he just leaned closer, initiating a soft kiss. It caused a relieved sigh to spill from Kaoru's lips as he just melted into the kiss, poured everything into the contact which he had to give. Inwardly, he was certain that Die wanted only him and it was just the job that made him show him all these miserable people and tell him the facts.
After they parted the redhead was still smiling softly, caressing the other's cheek with his thumb. "I'm sorry you have to go through all this."
"It's not your fault." Kaoru shook his head, mirroring the smile. "You only do your job." Bowing his head, he whispered. "But now you did your duty for today and you have free time you can use as you wish."
"Aw," Die's smile brightened, and he even had to chuckle a bit. "I can do anything I wish? Even if it includes molesting a remotely innocent person?"
"Yes, even if it includes that." Kaoru needed some carefree moments, needed to get rid of the oppressing thoughts which had occupied his mind since the day before; needed it urgently. And he was glad that the redhead didn't bother the change in topic but instead committed himself to the game.
"And even if I want that someone to molest me in return?" There was the familiar sparkle in the redhead's eyes, the one that had been mostly gone lately.
"Well," Kaoru drawled and let his eyes wander towards the ceiling, pretending to ponder, "you will have to try and see what he does."
"But I have hope?" Die leaned in to nibble on the other's chin softly, tentatively sliding his hands under the other's shirt and pulling him closer.
Sighing contently, Kaoru nodded and tilted his head a bit to grant the other man better access. "I guess so. He's at least not completely unwilling." To emphasize his words, he ran his hands down the redhead's sides until he had reached the hem of his shirt, softly caressing the skin that was revealed there.
"Good. So I'll try." The angel had ended the trail of small kisses he planted on the other's jaw, and reached to press a proper kiss on his lips. It made him almost irrationally happy that they were still able to share moments like that, moments that only held positive emotions, despite all the bad things that had happened.
The black-haired man in his arms was even more relieved, because for those few moments of tender touches and deep kisses, he managed to forget the happenings of the day, even forgot that he might lose the angel sooner or later. All that mattered were the both of them as the rest of the world seemed to stop existing. They didn't exchange any words for the moment, the feelings almost palpable in the air between them as they were getting lost in each other, enjoying every single touch, every second to the fullest.
Only when they were sweaty, stained and physically exhausted, they managed to rest a bit again. They didn't leave the couch though, Kaoru only reaching for a woollen blanket, which lay on the armchair close by, to cover their heated bodies. That night, he slept perfectly well, surrounded by his lover's scent and warmed by his body underneath.
Even in the morning after waking up they were resting against each other, calmed by each other's presence. The experiences of the past days didn't feel like suffocating them any longer, as those had faded a bit.
The bright sun warmed his back and finally, Kaoru decided to open his eyes. "I think I should go to work. I don't feel like seeing the next one yet." He smiled a bit, and tilted his head. "There is another one, right?" He was sure that those two hadn't been all and just wanted a normal day in between to gather some strength for the next part of the mission. "You can lie on my desk and distract me by being your alluring self," he offered chuckling and winked at the redhead.
"Well, we have two more. So we're kinda halfway through it." Die smiled, looked the other deep in the eye and pecked his lips softly, before wriggling a bit to signal they should get up. "And I'd be honoured to come and make your work hard since you can't concentrate."
"Good." Almost high-spirited and definitely looking forward to work, Kaoru jumped up and they took a shower together. That, of course, took a bit longer and they were just on time when they entered the huge office where Kaoru was working. His colleagues were looking disbelievingly at him and he whispered, without moving his lips. "Are my clothes upside down or why are they staring?"
"No idea." Die frowned thoughtfully, looking around in the room until he spotted a calendar on the wall. "Well, technically you've skipped work for some days now..." He didn't know that Kaoru hadn't been at work while he had been gone, but he knew at least that he hadn't been there the past two days.
"What? Time is running for me DESPITE the mission?" Instantly after the words had left his lips, Kaoru slapped his hand on his mouth, because he had been quite loud. The door to his boss' office opened and the man ordered him inside. With a bowed head, knowing that this couldn't mean anything good, the black-haired man followed the invitation.
Die followed behind, straight after his lover as he sensed this wasn't good. The boss looked calm at first sight, but when one looked closely one could see he was just trying to hold back his anger, his eyes flaming with it.
Without giving Kaoru the slightest chance to defend himself, the man began to yell at him and told him off like a father did with a son. Not even Kaoru's repeated 'sorrys' were stopping him in any way. The man ended his tirade with the words "You are fired. Get your check and then leave and never come back."
Die saw the shock in Kaoru's eyes, and just took a hold of his shoulders calmingly, practically guiding him out of the office and to take care of the necessary things. This was bad, he knew how much his work, his responsibility, had meant for his lover and now it was suddenly gone.
"You should've told me!" Accusation was clearly audible in Kaoru's voice. "I really thought time stopped. I mean, I fucking was invisible for living people!" He still hadn't processed the whole magnitude of what had just happened and looked slightly confused.
"I'm sorry!" The redhead sighed in deep, just trying to somehow defend himself. "I didn't realize it was so important. And it had to be done!"
"Yes, but I could've at least called sick or asked for holidays. Goddamnit, how do you think I shall pay my bills now? My apartment isn't exactly cheap and I need to eat too." Suddenly, everything seemed to fall apart and really nothing was as it had been before. Kaoru knew that Die hadn't meant it to cause troubles like that, but he was an angel, he didn't need to eat and could just waltz into a stranger's home and sleep on his couch without him noticing it, if he was cold.
"I'm sorry, I really am." Die looked truly desperate, only now realizing how much troubles he had caused for the other man. "I'll come up with something... I can take care of you." He had no idea how to do it exactly, but he knew he had to try, he wanted to do everything he could for the other.
That on the other hand, elicited a sweet smile from Kaoru and he put his hand on the angel's reddened cheek, planting a wet kiss on his lips. "You are cute, really. But I am curious how you want to achieve that."
"Just gimme time to think." A small smile crept on the redhead's lips as he realized the other man wasn't that mad at him. "Preferably a lot of time to think..."
"You should come up with something, or I will have to become a friggin' rockstar, just because I'd be starving otherwise." The words were spoken carelessly, accompanied by a few chuckles, and only afterwards, Kaoru realized what he just had said. He shrugged the unwanted feeling off though and went on as if nothing had happened. "Or I become a painter and you have to be my muse and my nude model."
"I could do that." Die had noticed the other's words, but decided to ignore them and go with the merrier topic for now. "You'd even get realistic wings for the picture!"
"If only I could draw," Kaoru winked grinning. "Or at least take a photo of you." Seeing that his work had annoyed him anyways and he would surely find something new soon, Kaoru decided not to bother too much anymore. He had some savings on which he could live until he got another job and this way, he could enjoy more time with the redhead. A huge plus, if one asked him.
The day didn't turn out to be that bad after all, and they just left the place hand in hand, going to some cheap burger place to get the human something to eat. The rest of the day they used only in forgetting about everything unpleasant, and enjoying each other's company.
Since Kaoru didn't have to go to work the next morning, there was no alarm which woke the two. So they slept in late and only woke up shortly before noon. The black-haired man had slept quite well, although he had woken up every now and then, bugged by fear about his future, about how he was supposed to go on without a job and about the decision he would have to take once. But one thing was for sure, he wouldn't just leave Die for the sake of an unknown future. But he had to admit that the fate of this bassist really had stirred his heart and he was afraid of the encounters which still lay in ahead of him. Luckily, Kaoru had managed to push aside those fears and fall asleep again, so that he was well rested.
Die couldn't help but to be somewhat nervous about what would come as well, because he had seen how hard it had been for the other to witness the things thus far. And he knew that things weren't going to become easier right now, not when it came to the mission. He tried his best to be in a good mood though, thinking that it'd be easier for the other that way too. As the angel saw the man beside him blink and open his eyes he instantly smiled at him affectionately. "How're you feeling?" He wasn't sure when they should go to see the next person on the list.
"Good." Kaoru answered the smile and instinctively shifted a bit closer to the redhead. "But I think you've already got a plan in mind how to destroy the mood." He was determined to take things as they came, since there wasn't any possibility to change them anyways; for neither of them. Still, he couldn't help but to be sarcastic. "So tell me, what are we going to do today?"
"Well, if you want we can just spend this day at home." Die promised, somehow wanting to make things as easy for the blackhaired man as possible. If it meant delaying the mission, then be it. "And we can go destroy your mood some other day. But if you feel like it, we can go today too."
For a moment, Kaoru's eyes became distant and he looked right through him, pondering. The thought of just spending the day together with his lover without having to witness some people's life going down, was tempting. On the one hand, he would've just wanted to get over this mission as soon as possible, but on the other, he was afraid that Die wouldn't be allowed to stay, even if he declined to go back in time and change things. "How many are there to come still?" he finally asked the man beside him and smiled faintly.
"Two." The angel answered with a soft smile, stroking the other's cheek with his thumb. "The one who was supposed to be the vocalist, and the second guitarist."
"Second guitarist?" Kaoru arched an eyebrow and then nodded. "Okay, then let's go and see the next today." He looked the other straight in the eyes for a few seconds, but then smirked. "And I hope you have a good reward in mind for me being so brave."
"I'm so proud of you." Die's smile brightened, and he couldn't resist to just plant a quick kiss on the other's lips. "And I will reward you with whatever you want, I promise!"
"That sounds fair." Swiftly, Kaoru rolled on top of the redhead and gave him a deep kiss. He broke it before time though and stood up, winking at the other. "The earlier we're there, the earlier I get my reward."
The only answer he got from the redhead was a chuckle, and the angel forced himself to get up from the bed instantly. They got ready in no time, just slipping into their clothes and eating something, and then they were already heading to the train station, because Die had said the next one would be a bit further away.
Kaoru had leaned his cheek against the cool window and stared outside into the distance, asking himself where the next person would await them. When the train passed the suburbs, it came clear that it wouldn't be in Tokyo.
"Just relax." Die looked at him, not able to hide the worry in his gaze. "It'll take a long while before we're there."
"How am I supposed to relax when I don't know what's waiting for me?" Kaoru looked at him through the glass, his breath clouding the window. "I still think it's unfair that the decision's only upon me. And I just do it so that you're not getting into troubles with your boss."
"You're probably the only one in the condition who you can make the decision." The angel stated, since at least that was the only reason he saw why it necessarily had to be Kaoru to decide. "Or maybe that stressed drummer might've been an option."
"He wasn't even capable to withstand his horrible wife." Slowly, Kaoru turned his head to face the other man. "I don't mean that you need to have answers to all my questions," he said quietly. "It's just that it's so unfair."
"I know," The answer came with a faint smile. "But I'm here to answer your questions as best as I can."
"And to stand me by, I hope." The black-haired man added and leaned a bit against the other.
"It wasn't a part of the mission at first," Die's voice was soft, barely audible, and he slowly circled one arm around the other. "but I want to take care of you."
"Die...?" Kaoru tilted his head, gazing deep into the angel's eyes. "I know you just came here because you thought I was hot and because of the mission, but-," he was looking for the right words, "but that isn't the case anymore, is it?" They had never said that they loved each other and for some reason, it hadn't bothered Kaoru. He was certain, that what they had was love and it hadn't been needed to voice it out loud, but suddenly, he felt all alone and just wanted to hear that the angel was sticking with him for more reasons than the mission and basic hornyness.
"No." The angel smiled honestly, leaning a bit closer until their foreheads were almost touching. He felt like he could simply drown in the other's eyes, and wouldn't even mind being trapped there forever. It was clear to him that Kaoru was special, and that what they shared was something he would never go through again.
Throughout the rest of the drive, they remained silent. Kaoru was resting against Die's shoulder, blinking at him from time to time, and thought that as long as the other was there, he'd be capable to go through anything fate had decided for him. Just feeling the angel's presence there, knowing he would look after him, was sufficient to take part of the stress away from him.
Finally, their stop came and they got off the train. It seemed to be a rather small place, and Die stood still for a moment before he knew the direction they were supposed to head to. He grabbed Kaoru's hand in his, determinedly taking long steps.
The smaller man had problems to follow him, but he didn't complain. Curiously, he eyed their surrounding as he had never been in that district before. Did this still belong to Tokyo? However, he was waiting for what lay ahead of them and clung to his lover's hand for support.
"We shouldn't really be here." Die turned to smile slightly at the other man over his shoulder. "Only relatives are allowed to visit, and that only under careful guarding."
"Guarding?" Just when the question had slipped Kaoru, he realized that they had been walking straight through the door of a huge building. Even the fences outside and the high wall hadn't stopped them, nor had he noticed them. Now, they were walking down a long corridor which was flooded with cold neon light. "Is this what I think it is?" Kaoru asked hesitantly, not really wanting to hear the answer. But the cells they had been passing by, along with screams and whines that were echoing through the doors here and there, spoke a clear language.
"I guess you got it right." Instinctively Die tightened his hold on the other's hand, as this place gave him the creeps and he was quite sure that the other would be even more bothered. "A mental asylum. Nuthouse, so to say. And we're here to see one of the persons who live here." The corridors were long, didn't seem to end ever and although Die knew that no one else was able to hear their voices those seemed to echo strangely from the walls.
An ice-cold shiver ran down Kaoru's spine and he instantly wished he had chosen to spend the day just with the other, careless fooling around, screwing a bit, without having to face a place like this. He had never been in a mental asylum, but just like everybody, he had had a clear image of it in his head. And he found this image partly confirmed right now.
They had to go through several doors, into the more guarded part of the place, and it somehow seemed to get the colder the further they left the world outside behind. Finally Die stopped in front of one cell which apparently was what they had been looking for. "Be strong." He squeezed the other's hand, whispering the words silently.
As if the thick barrier was made of air, they stepped through it inside the cell. Kaoru had always thought that padded cells were only some kind of invention of moviemakers or a relict of old times, but he was proven wrong. The room was brightly lit and in a corner, he spotted a small figure, who was hugging his legs close to his chest and stared blankly into nothingness. But something made him look up and his gaze seemed to pierce Kaoru, caused another shiver to run down his spine.
"He was supposed to be the vocalist." Die begun, instinctively lowering his voice for some reason as he began to talk, his eyes fixed on the small man. "He had talent, both as a vocalist and as a lyricist, but his mind was too unsteady, I guess."
Before Kaoru could reply anything, the small man with short, wild, black hair began to rock back and forth, grabbing his head with both hands and screamed. "The voices... Voices are back. Haunting me." Instinctively, Kaoru took a step backwards and almost tripped.
Automatically the redhead reached out for the other man, grabbing his arm to steady him. He couldn't deny that this small man made him feel definitely uncomfortable too, but he forced himself to stay still. "They give him pills and all, but nothing seems to help really. He used to hurt himself as well, before they got him here."
Only then, Kaoru noticed the scars that were shown on the small man's wrists and he honestly pitied him. "There's no hope that he'll be healed once?" His voice was merely a whisper, because he could've sworn that the other could hear him.
"Well, nothing's sure." Die shrugged, his eyes reflecting the pity he felt for the man before them, as he truly felt bad for him. "But probably he'll just go deeper into that state."
"And it's YOUR fault!" Suddenly, the small man jumped at his feet and launched himself at Kaoru. Of course, he was going straight through him, but this action caused a highly unpleasant feeling for the black-haired man. Instinctively, Kaoru reached out his hand, wanting to prevent the other from falling down, but his hand went through him like air. The lunatic instead jumped back up, his face flushed and madness showing in the depths of his eyes.
"Come on. We go." The redhead grabbed his lover's arms, staring at the small man in front of them with slightly widened eyes. This had surprised him as well, he hadn't expected the man to be able to see either of them. But apparently he heard them and saw at least Kaoru.
Shocked and unable to move, Kaoru allowed his lover to drag him outside. His knees were weak and he was trembling all over. What had just happened? Did the other really see them or was it just a part of his ill mind? Slowly, he got a hold of himself and only wanted to flee the scenery, wanted to get as far from there as possible and that quick.
They made their way out of there as soon as they were able to, and only when they were almost at the train station again Die broke the silence that had landed upon them. "I'm sorry. I should've taken better care of you."
"Nothing happened." Kaoru answered calmly. He still was trying to process the just experienced, tried to understand it. "And you took care of me." Forcing a smile on his lips, the black-haired man pulled his lover closer to himself.
"I didn't know he could see us." The redhead instinctively hugged the other tight, closing his eyes to concentrate on the closeness for a brief moment. "But thankfully nothing happened."
"Maybe he didn't see us and it was just one of his usual outbreaks. We'll never know." Kaoru just wanted to get rid of the unpleasant feelings inside him, but he couldn't hide that this encounter had left a deep impression. Maybe he should stop being so selfish and should give it a try; should go back and do his best to make those persons' lives less miserable.
They were silent for a moment, before the angel spoke up again. "You think you'll be able to face the rest of it today? Or shall we come back for the last one later?" The last thing they were supposed to see wasn't far away, but he didn't want to make the other go through more than he was able to take.
"Let's get it over with." Kaoru stated, giving his voice a secure undertone. However, his hand, which was still clutching the redhead's, was cold and clammy, giving away how much everything had shocked him.