rabenhorst (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rabenhorst) wrote2007-05-31 11:35 pm
rabenhorst) wrote2007-05-31 11:35 pm
(no subject)
Title: Against All Odds; Chapter 5
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
seinen_no and fonulyn
Rating: PG13 [for this chap]
Pairing: Die and Kaoru
Disclaimer: We own no one, only our dirty imaginations.
Comments:
seinen_no: Hello ladies! As promised, the next chap already. What can I say? I love them? Heh, but judge for yourselves. More than half way now^^ And once again, thank you all for reading and commenting so nicely. You can't imagine how much it always makes us smile! (It's past 4am, sorry for being sentimental).
fonulyn: I dunno what to babble here XD Well, we would’ve got the next chap sooner, but I somehow managed to get something weird done with the computer and destroy half of the things I’d already gone through and I had to start all over again XD But we weren’t that slow anyways. Just enjoy ;)
Previously happened: Against All Odds, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4
Against All Odds
Chapter 5
It was a Saturday evening, both of their parents were away, Kaoru's father on a business trip and Die's mother visiting her sister in another prefecture. They had just finished their studies, both their heads full with knowledge, and now lay down on the redhead's bed.
Without even thinking about switching on the TV, they went over to kissing, Kaoru wrapping one arm around the other's neck to hold him close. Instinctively the redhead leaned closer, pressing their bodies against each other in search for closeness. He loved the kisses in itself, but it always made his heart skip how the other held him close or touched his cheek or some other simple gesture like that.
Absent-mindedly, Kaoru's hand left Die's neck and travelled down his spine, passing-by his sides and the slight curve of his hip until it came to rest on his butt. It just had happened on its own accord, but when he noticed it, the pink-haired blushed and quickly withdrew.
Die hadn't even noticed it, but he did notice as the other startled all of a sudden. As they parted for air he tilted his head a bit, looking questioning. "Something wrong?"
"No, it's just that I ... I didn't mean to..." Kaoru had no idea how to explain it. They had never talked about any rules, had never said that touching was forbidden. Still, this was more intimate than kissing and just touching the cheek or pulling him closer by wrapping one arm around his waist.
The younger still didn't understand completely. "You didn't mean to what?" He had been just so captured by the moment that he didn't see what had happened.
"Just forget it, okay?" Kaoru asked hopefully and leaned in to kiss Die again.
"I don't even know what to forget." Die frowned a bit, dodging the contact as he knew the other just wanted to distract him with it.
"You can be such a pain, did you know that?" The older rolled his eyes and growled annoyed. He hated it when Die made him explain everything, especially things that embarrassed him. "I just put my hand here." With ostentation, he put his hand back on the other's butt, this time even squeezing a bit to tease him.
"And?" The redhead grinned, enjoying the moment since he knew the other was embarrassed. It didn't even bother him for some reason that the other squeezed his rear. Instantly, the colour on Kaoru's cheeks deepened and his heart seemed to beat in his throat. He had no idea what to answer to that, nor how to react.
"You tell me," he whispered finally, blinking at Die with an innocent expression on his face.
"I don't know." Slowly the smile faded from the younger's face, simply because he didn't know what he was supposed to say to that. He couldn't possibly tell the other he liked it when he touched him.
The situation felt all too uncomfortable and Kaoru way too insecure to try anything. Slowly, he retreated his hand again and pecked the redhead's lips. "I think it's time to go to bed." Indeed, it was quite late already, but that usually didn't disturb them.
Die tried to smile, but he really didn't want the other to go. But if he had asked him not to, then he would've had to explain why, and that he wasn't willing to do. He wasn't willing to admit it to himself even completely yet.
Reluctantly, the pink-haired stood up. He had been practically waiting for the other to ask him to stay, to tell him he wanted to be near him. But of course this would never happen. And although he knew Die enjoyed the kisses they shared as much as he himself, he was also quite sure that he didn't feel more but friendship.
The younger bit his lip, closing his eyes as the other stood up. "Don't." The word escaped him before he even knew he was talking, and his voice was so low he wasn't sure if Kaoru had even noticed it.
But the sound echoed in the otherwise quiet room and made Kaoru flinch inwardly. He knew this was asking a lot, but he wanted to hear it from Die's lips and so asked without turning around. "Don't what?"
A long silence followed, before the younger broke it. "Go." The word sounded a bit choked, because it really took a lot from Die to get it out.
This was all Kaoru had wanted to hear and without urging him further, he slid back into bed beside him, instantly cuddling close again. Smiling, he caressed Die's cheek. "You are cute." The words were hardly above a whisper and he continued in the same tone. "Trying to embarrass me and now look at you, you are red like a tomato."
"Why do you just tease me when you know it makes me blush?" Die smiled, calming down almost instantly as the other was there again. It was an effect no one had before had on him.
"I'm not teasing you. I try to figure out what you want," came the honest reply with a stunning smile.
"You bastard." Playfully, the redhead hit the other's shoulder, but almost instantly just leaned a bit closer to the shared warmth.
"Now you hit me?" Kaoru pouted playfully and rubbed the spot where the other had hit him. "I should just slap you." Despite his words, he closed the short distance between their lips and initiated a sweet kiss. Die had been about to say something, but it just turned into a mewl as the kiss shut down his thoughts for the moment.
There it was again, this feeling that made Kaoru's head spin and his heart pound quickly in his chest. He was so lost in the contact, that he subconsciously brought his hand back to the other's butt. It was as if his body wanted to show him how drawn he was towards the redhead, that it needed his proximity.
Without giving it a single thought Die wrapped one of his legs around the Kaoru's, turning a bit and pulling him closer with the movement. It all came by itself to him, as he was just totally lost in the soft kiss, and just wanted to have the other near to him. As near as possible.
It caused the older's heart to stop beating for a moment as it jumped into his throat where it began to pound frantically. He knew he should break this, knew it wasn't right to go this far. But although he had been determined not to change anything in his behaviour and do more than kissing, he had to surrender to the feelings the whole situation evoked in him, and slowly began to caress Die's back while pressing himself closer.
The redhead sighed softly into the kiss, even smiling into it a bit. Somehow he felt all too content, complete opposite of what he had thought he'd feel if they'd slide even a bit further than mere kissing. But the other's touch on his back felt just somehow right, like it was supposed to be like that.
The need for air forced them apart, but Kaoru initiated another kiss right away. He was too afraid that Die could break the moment, could finally see that he didn't want it and push him away. Tentatively, he changed the manner of the kiss, deepened it as well as the playfulness vanished and it became more passionate than usual.
That caused Die's heart to beat frantically in return, but he didn't do anything to break it, nor to push the other away. Quite the contrary, he tried to return the kiss as well as he was able to, and tightened the hold he had on the older with his leg still around his, to keep him from pulling away on his side.
The way in which he reacted caused heat to gather in Kaoru's groin and although he fought hard for control, he couldn't do anything against it. Still, he didn't pull away instantly, but after some time had to shift further and to break the contact, gasping for breath. Realizing, that he had fallen hard for the redhead, his step-brother, he felt desperation seeping into his mind which left him speechless. Being trapped, held by the other's leg and arm, he just looked at him with huge eyes, unable to react in any way.
For a moment Die only concentrated on gasping for breath and trying to normalize his breathing. Slowly a slight blush crept on his face though when he realized what he had done, and he moved his leg a bit, releasing the other from the grip. He didn't know what to say, not even what to think, but he felt embarrassed due to his own reaction.
For a second, Kaoru almost confessed to the younger, almost told him what he felt and how confused he was. But he didn't dare; too afraid it would ruin everything. So he took a deep breath and sorted his thoughts, coming to the conclusion that he would leave it up to Die to show or tell him what he wanted, if he wanted anything at all. He noticed the redhead's embarrassment and wanted to make it easier for him. "Next time, I just slap you," he stated winking and forced a smile on his lips.
Die chuckled a bit, but it was somehow forced though. "Sorry." He didn't know why he had just acted that way, why he had just tried to make the other come closer like that.
"What for?" Kaoru asked, not wanting to hear the answer. "I meant slapping you for hitting me, instead of rewarding you with a kiss."
"Oh," The younger nodded slowly. He had been sure the pink-haired had just had wanted to slap him for what he had done. "Then I guess I just have to look out not to hit you anymore." He smiled a bit.
Kaoru's heart was still beating fast. He understood what Die had meant, saw that this was a misunderstanding, and instinctively brought his hand up, touching his cheek softly. When he realized what he was doing, he flinched a bit, but covered his sudden insecurity by pecking the other's lips once more. "I guess it's time for bed. Dad will come home soon and he won't be delighted when we're still awake at this hour when there's school tomorrow."
"Yeah, especially if he'll decide to stop by upstairs and walks in at the wrong moment." Die smiled, trying to shrug off the weird feeling that had gotten its grip on him.
The comment made Kaoru bite his lip and he nodded. It hurt him to hear this from the other, although he knew it would cause nothing but serious trouble if either of their parents caught them making out. "Yeah." The answer came with a short delay. "So I better go now." Reluctantly, he stood up and then quickly went over to his bed. Before he slid under the covers, he got rid of his jeans and t-shirt.
Usually it was just normal that the other retreated to his own bed at one point, and it never had bothered Die. But now it did. He felt a lump in his throat, but tried to force it down, being angry at himself for reacting that way. Why in hell was a tiny bit of closeness so important to him all of a sudden?
Once safely in his bed, Kaoru covered his eyes with his forearm and tried to calm down the confusing emotions that were running through him. He had almost asked Die if he could sleep in his bed, close to him, but now was glad that he hadn't. He wouldn't have been able to guarantee that he didn't try anything even though he had taken the decision to leave it up to the other to start something or end it. Still, he prayed that Die wouldn't end their sessions of making out, that he wanted to have him near. And when he thought about the moment when the other had wrapped his leg around him and pulled him closer, his heart again began to beat quicker in his chest.
After a short silence Die swallowed hard to get his voice working properly. "Good night." He just had to say something to his brother, feeling that if they had just tried to sleep now, the silence would suffocate him. A part of him wanted to ask Kaoru to come back and to sleep beside him, another part wanted to get up and crawl into his bed to be close to him. But the biggest, rational part of his mind just told him to stay in his own bed and not to ask for anything. And that was what he did.
"Good night." Koru's voice was low and quiet, but he smiled when he returned the sentiment. He simply tried to imagine that Die was lying right beside him, tried to remember his scent and taste, his body heat. "Have sweet dreams." And he meant it. He didn't want the other to feel bad in any way, let alone regret anything.
"You too." Kaoru's words made the younger one smile, and even relax a bit. So nothing seemed to have changed, and he was simply thankful that he hadn't ruined anything.
In silent stipulation, neither of them mentioned that night afterwards. But it had changed something, because whenever they were kissing each other, which they still did whenever given the chance, they were trying to pull the other as close as possible.
Die's mother had become bigger and bigger and would soon give birth to their new sibling. This incident stood above everything like a black cloud and caused stress for all of them. She was moody, commanding them to tidy the flat, yelling at them to be quiet although they hadn't even said anything, until neither of them dared to even breathe when they were in their room.
She also seemed to climb upstairs to the room the boys were sharing more often, although she complained about not being able to move as well as before. Many times she just barged into the room, but gladly Die and Kaoru always had the time to part whenever they were kissing, and just pretend they had been doing something completely different. Many times they thanked the fact that one could hear Die's mom climbing up the stairs since she indeed had more difficulties in walking as she used to, now that she was so big.
Both boys thanked the lord whenever she and Kaoru's dad were out for a couple of hours, attending a preparations course for birth. The midwife had advised them to attend it, because Die's mother was already quite old for having another child and this would help her when it came to giving birth.
Kaoru had just closed the door behind their parents and now leaned heavily against the cold wood, sighing relieved. "As much as I will hate it, I can't wait for that bastard to be born. Your mom is insufferable like that."
"She is." Die nodded in agreement, just shaking his head a bit. "And hopefully she won't decide to have another baby as soon as this one has been born." He was still bothered by the fact that his mother didn't spend much time with him anymore, he hardly saw her and then, she was either fuming or telling them to do something or the whole family was there and she was talking about the new baby.
"Gods, I hope that too. But then, I will move out as soon as I find a university after school." Kaoru smiled at the other and detached from the wall. "Wanna use the moment of peace to watch a movie?" They hadn't done that in quite some time and actually he was only yearning for lying on the bed with Die, for being close to him.
For some reason it felt really bad when the other had said he'd be leaving, and it took Die a moment before he was able to push the thought of being left without him to the background. He tried to cover it with a smile though. "That'd be cool. At least mom isn't there to yell at us to turn the volume down."
Kaoru practically beamed and nodded. "Yeah, so let's go for some major action movie with lots of detonating bombs and gunfire." Without thinking, he took the younger's hand and dragged him upstairs to their room. He had noticed the shadow that had clouded Die's eyes for a moment when he had been talking about leaving, and although he knew it was inevitable, the house was just too small for all of them, he felt bad about it as well. But he also was looking forward to that day, because then he could maybe go back to Tokyo, which he still was missing badly.
The redhead tried to push back all the thoughts about the other leaving, since he knew those would just make him melancholy and he didn't want to ruin their precious time off of their parents with being moody. But as they began to choose a film to watch, he was just happy to be there, not thinking about the future at that moment.
Quickly, Kaoru inserted the DVD after they had agreed on a movie and then lay down beside the other. Inwardly, he regretted the fact that it wasn't that hot anymore and they both wore jeans and t-shirt since it would be too cold in boxers only. Let alone that he wouldn't have a decent explanation why he wanted to get rid of the clothes. He couldn't possibly tell his brother that he wanted to feel his skin against his own, that, whenever a part of their bodies touched accidentally, it made him irrationally happy.
Subconsciously Die leaned a bit closer to him as the movie begun, and although his mind was directed towards the happenings on the screen, he couldn't help but to instantly notice even the slightest movement of the body beside him. If he had dared he would've rested his head against the other's shoulder, but he kept himself from doing it, not sure if it'd be too much.
Though the movie was really exciting, Kaoru couldn't focus on it completely. His whole attention seemed to be drawn towards the redhead beside him, the warmth that radiated from his body, the slight movement his respiration caused. Everything made him oddly content and he couldn't remember a moment in his life when just being close to somebody like this has been sufficient to make him happy already.
Not even noticing it himself, the younger one leaned a bit closer all the time as the movie went on. He was honestly only concentrated on the movie, but it was like his subconsciousness knew it was vital to be as close to Kaoru as possible, and tried to provide him with closeness. Kaoru felt it and it made him smile.
At one point, it became uncomfortable and he wrapped his arm around Die's shoulders, pulling him against his chest to get into a more comfortable position. Although he had done it consciously, he couldn't prevent a blush from creeping on his cheeks that was luckily covered by the blue-ish flickering of the screen, which was the only light in the room.
Die only let out a tiny sigh and leaned into the embrace, oddly content at once. He staid there throughout the whole movie, just enjoying the other's proximity. He thought that if he'd have to let the other go eventually anyways, he could at least enjoy the time they still had.
After the credits had ended and the menu was shown on the screen again, Kaoru tilted his head a bit and smiled at the other. "You got the remote. You need to switch it off or change channels." He didn't let go of him though, enjoying to hold him like that.
"Oh, good that you said," Die turned his head to smile at him. "I had forgotten I even had it." He took the remote and turned to look at the screen again, intending on going through the channels briefly.
Kaoru just kept on staring at his face like hypnotized, but then finally managed to direct his gaze towards the screen as well. "Nothing really interesting on, as it seems."
"Yeah... only some news or homeshopping." The younger nodded, switching the TV off before turning to the other. "So unless we want to watch another DVD, there's nothing."
"Do you want to watch another movie?" Kaoru asked smiling. It took a moment before his eyes got used to the darkness, but then, he could clearly see the other's form next to him. "Maybe we shouldn't. I don't want to cut it when your mom comes back and decides we need to be quiet as smoke again."
"Yep. And I'm not sure if I even want to concentrate on another one now." Die just didn't want to move from where he was, and therefore had thought that another movie might grant him some more moments. Closing his eyes, he leaned a tiny bit more into the embrace.
The older smiled and based his head on Die's, inhaling his scent. "You smell so good." The comment had just slipped him and he instantly hushed afterwards, practically holding his breath and waiting how the other would react on that.
Die opened his eyes, surprised, but didn't even stir to move away. "Well thank you." He chuckled a bit, but noticed that the words actually even made him blush a tiny bit.
"I mean your shampoo," Kaoru hurried to explain, blushing furiously on his side. Actually, he had meant Die's natural scent though, nothing else. But still he couldn't allow himself to confess that.
"Okay," The younger just nodded slightly, closing his eyes and relaxing again, and relieved, the older followed his example, closed his eyes as well and tried force the tension out of his body.
"When did they say they'd be back?" Suddenly Die broke the silence, just asking what was on his mind.
"Knowing your mom's incredible appetite, I'd say they'll be home late because she will want to have some dinner before." Kaoru smiled at the younger and couldn't resist pecking his lips shortly. "So we might still have some time before they destroy the peace."
"I would've never thought I'd be this glad to get even a few moments without mom." the redhead confessed chuckling, and leaned in to peck the other's lips in return.
Grinning, Kaoru grabbed his head and pulled him closer to kiss him properly. It was something he had been waiting for all day since there hadn't been an opportunity before. "I'm sorry. I can't replace your mom, but I can distract you from thinking of her too much," he whispered smirking after they had parted and initiated another kiss right away.
Die concentrated on the kiss only, and after it broke, he pressed his forehead against the other's. "Well, I don't exactly want you to try to replace her." He grinned, "And you sure are doing a fine job distracting."
"Thanks for the compliment. I try my best." Kaoru said in a businesslike tone and pursed his lips, touching the other's with them shortly. "But you almost know everything about kissing and soon the student will outflank the teacher." He was still smiling and stared right into the redhead's eyes.
"Then I can help you develop in it." Die suggested, smiling brightly at the other.
"You mean my kissing-skills?" The older snickered and shook his head. "I'd be honored."
"No need. I'd be glad to." The younger was still smiling. Somehow just being close to Kaoru like that felt natural, as he felt he could just stay there like that for ages.
Although it hurt to say the following words, Kaoru meant them with all his heart, wanting to somehow show the redhead how much he liked him without giving away too much. "The girl, who'll get you once, is one lucky person."
Die flinched a bit, not even able to cover it completely. He forced out a smile though. "Thanks." He had no idea why hearing that felt awkward, as he should've only been glad to get a compliment of that kind.
"Just take your time." A short kiss landed on the redhead's lips. "Wait till you find somebody who's worth it." The next kiss followed and not wanting to hold back anymore, Kaoru deepened the contact instantly, bereaving both of them of their breath.
The redhead had still registered the words, but as soon as he felt the other's lips on his, he forgot that there even was anyone else in the whole world than the two of them.
Kaoru had never felt like that before, as if he would somehow cease to exist when the other wasn't there, when he couldn't hold him or feel his lips. Still, the rational part of his mind told him that he shouldn't get too excited about their kisses, shouldn't fall too hard, but it was too late anyways. So he settled for pushing all his fears to the background and instead enjoyed the moment as long as he was allowed to approach the other like that.
As the kiss dragged on, Die left his comfortable position and turned to face Kaoru better, so that they were able to deepen the contact. With time, he had got more self confident, and took a more active part even while they were making. Before, he had only followed the other's lead, responding to whatever he did.
First, it caused Kaoru to step back a bit, to allow him to take the lead without resistance. The mere fact that Die was kissing him somewhat demanding and urging, caused a shiver down his spine and his head to spin again. After some time, he playfully began to fight for dominance though, his tongue brushing forcefully against the other's. That was how Die enjoyed it the most, as they both tried to take over, playfully fighting over the leading role. Instinctively he leaned a bit closer still, wanting to be close to the other too.
Like naturally, the older wrapped his arms around him, pulling him almost on top of himself without breaking the contact. It enabled both of them to keep the kiss going, to deepen it as far as possible and to maintain the playful fight which was going on. Contently, the younger circled his arms around him as well, pressing their chests together. He couldn't help it, but the other had that kind of affect on him, he just yearned for the proximity although he didn't even know why.
Although he didn't want to, Kaoru had to part for air after what felt like an eternity, his lungs burning in lack of oxygen. He had never experienced kisses like that although he had kissed a lot already. It was just something in Die that made him want more, made him want to never break the contact. His mind was filled with other things he would have wanted to do with him, but his rational mind and the fear to destroy what they had, caused him not to give in to the urge. But he couldn't deny himself from softly touching the other's cheek, from running his fingertips over the smooth skin that just felt too good.
The soft touch made Die close his eyes, as he enjoyed it all too much. In his mind there was this vague thought of what he would want to do with Kaoru, what he'd want t go through with him, but he didn't know what exactly it was. He didn't know where he wanted to draw the line and therefore just kept the things how they were mainly. Most of all, he was nervous, afraid that if he did something wrong it'd break everything.
The older's heart was pounding so quickly that he feared it cold burst his chest and all of a sudden, there was this one sentence, those three words in his mind, which almost slipped him. Just before it happened, he pressed his lips firmly on the other's in the desperate attempt to keep himself from committing this mistake. But inwardly, he knew it was true. He had fallen in love with the redhead and didn't know how much longer he could pretend to feel nothing but friendship.
Instantly, the younger answered to the kiss, even mewling a tiny bit into it. He had given up on thinking about the situation, because it only confused him more every time, and went with the moment and how he felt. Not even noticing it consciously himself, he slid his hands under the other's shirt, caressing his back softly.
Feeling the other's fingertips on his bare back caused gooseflesh on Kaoru's skin and a shiver ran down his spine. Coevally, it made him irrationally happy and encouraged him to take another step himself. He ran his hands down Die's chest and when he had reached the hem of his shirt, tugged it up a bit, sliding his fingers across the smooth, warm, skin of the other's belly. The touch made Die smile into the kiss, and he felt his heart skip a beat or two. Only the mere feeling of the older's hands on his skin felt better than he'd even imagined.
Since the younger didn't stop him, not even flinched, Kaoru went further. He moved his arms around the Die's waist and there tentatively dipped his hands inside his pants, just sliding them beneath the hem and palming the skin there. Somehow, it all felt too good to be true and he wished this moment would last forever. The only reaction from the younger was that he shifted a bit closer, deepening the kiss slightly. The whole moment held a hypnotizing value to him, even the time was like standing still.
The whole situation was highly arousing for Kaoru, but this time he didn't waste a thought about breaking the contact. He would just have to wait and see how the younger reacted once he noticed it. They had gone too far already anyways to pretend there was nothing more between them, nothing sexual.
The redhead wasn't completely unaffected by the situation either, but he didn't want to break it still. He slid his hands up the other's back, pushing his shirt up simultaneously. In need to get closer, he pressed their bodies together, practically grinding against Kaoru.
The movement elicited a gasp from the older and he closed his eyes tightly. It was as if they were alone on earth, nothing disturbing the perfect quietness except both of their heavy respiration whenever they parted for breath, and except their simultaneously racing hearts.
Die knew he should stop, should break the moment and certainly not repeat what he had just done. But he did exactly the opposite than what his rational mind told him, acting on the feelings. And the whole moment was just too precious to break it now.
This time, the friction on his clothed arousal elicited a stifled moan of Kaoru and in a quick movement, he shoved his hands fully in the Die's pants, palming and squeezing his buttocks. He would've almost lost control over his actions, would've flipped them over and pinned the other against the mattress, but he held back and remained still otherwise.
The reaction from the other caused a small gasp to escape the redhead, and he pressed himself a bit closer still, trying to gain a bit of friction which made him feel so good. In a way, he was waiting for the other to do something, as he wasn't sure what he should do, how he should go on in the situation.
It was as if Kaoru had heard his thoughts, felt his insecurity and gathered all his courage to retreat his hands and quickly tug the shirt up, dragging it over Die's head. This of course broke the kiss and instantly, the older began to nibble his neck, licking over the taut, scented skin.
A long groan tore its way from the younger's throat, and he tilted his head to offer more skin. He had already slid the Kaoru's shirt up to his armpits, and now took a hold of the garment to get rid of it completely.
Instinctively, the older lifted his upper body, aiding him to get rid of his shirt. Kaoru was sure the other could feel how nervous and excited he was. Now that he thought about it, he had never been so nervous before, hadn't been in love like that before in his entire life. Once the garment was gone, he continued kissing and nibbling Die's neck, tentatively sucking some spots
It caused a forceful shudder to run through the redhead, as he leaned closer towards the other. The first real skin on skin contact made him hold his breath for a moment, feeling somehow unreal even.
Instinct took over and Kaoru couldn't hold back anymore. He wanted to make Die feel good, wanted to hear more sounds spill from his lips. Gently, he pushed him backwards against the mattress and began to kiss and lick his chest.
Weakly, the younger arched up towards the other. He ignored all the warnings his rational mind tried to give him, not caring anymore at that moment. His world consisted of the other right now, and they were alone in the universe if someone asked him.
Like hypnotized, the older continued his way down the other's chest, over his belly. He knew they had crossed the line longest, had noticed the slight bulge in Die's pants as well. But he didn't want to stop, didn't want to have reproaches and just lived for the moment. When he circled the navel with his tongue, diving into it and brushing over the scar, he suddenly heard steps on the stairs, coming up quickly.
At first Die didn't even notice them, the pleasant haze in his mind drowning out everything else. But as the steps were getting louder, he suddenly realized that someone was indeed coming to their room. As Kaoru startled and raised his head a bit, Die used the moment to roll away from underneath him. He had just somehow managed to get on his feet and take one step away from the bed when the door already creaked open.
Die's mother peeked inside and asked quietly. "Are you sleeping already?" Kaoru had problems to calm his racing heart and had only managed to drag the blanket over his form at the last moment. "Hmm," he answered, pretending to be half asleep.
"Just about to." Die's voice sounded a bit odd, but he managed to form a tiny smile, hoping it'd distract his mother enough. He thanked his luck that the lights off, and the only light that seeped into the room came from the hall behind the opened door.
"Okay, then sleep well you two. I just wanted to let you know that I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow and after that will go shopping with your dad. We still need a rocker for the baby and some other stuff. It's about time. Good night." Without waiting for a reply, she disappeared again. Kaoru was still holding his breath, unable to say or think anything just at that moment.
Die let out an audible sigh, closing his eyes for a moment, just relieved that his mother was gone and hadn't seen anything critical. He was utterly nervous still for some reason, and thought it'd be best if they indeed got some sleep now. "I guess we should sleep?" He turned to look at the other, not meeting his gaze straight though.
Kaoru knew he was right and nodded, forcing a smile on his lips. "Yes, I think so too." It would be dangerous to go on where they had left off if Die's mother had forgotten something and decided to barge in again. He cursed that woman, who didn't have any kind of sense for privacy, and inwardly regretted that the moment was gone. Sighing, he closed his eyes and tried to calm his racing heart, force the tension out of his body.
Quickly Die slid to his bed, pulling the covers over himself. His heart was beating fast, and only after the first shock started to fade he began to realize what just had happened. He didn't know if he was happy or angry that his mother had just broken the moment, had interrupted them. All in all, the emotions inside of him were mixed and he didn't have any idea what to do now. The thing that frightened him the most, was that he knew that if his mother hadn't come he had gone through it all with Kaoru. He wouldn't have stopped, it had all felt too good, and somehow it made him panic. He really would've gone all the way with the other. He didn’t sleep that night at all, just going through all the happenings in his mind. He was just too confused, didn't know a thing about this situation at all anymore.
Similar thoughts kept Kaoru from falling asleep. There had been something between them, some kind of magic, something he would call love with his own words. And he was both, happy and afraid because it had come so far. He knew that he wanted the other, wanted him to fall in love with him as well, wanted him to be his, but at the same time, he was aware of his responsibility. Die was inexperienced, didn't know how it felt when he was kissed in a certain way, when somebody touched him and he knew that if somebody felt this for the first time, it could make him do things he really didn't want. However, Kaoru was hoping that everything would work out somehow, that they would find a way to go on and all the way together.
Author:
seinen_no and fonulynRating: PG13 [for this chap]
Pairing: Die and Kaoru
Disclaimer: We own no one, only our dirty imaginations.
Comments:
seinen_no: Hello ladies! As promised, the next chap already. What can I say? I love them? Heh, but judge for yourselves. More than half way now^^ And once again, thank you all for reading and commenting so nicely. You can't imagine how much it always makes us smile! (It's past 4am, sorry for being sentimental).fonulyn: I dunno what to babble here XD Well, we would’ve got the next chap sooner, but I somehow managed to get something weird done with the computer and destroy half of the things I’d already gone through and I had to start all over again XD But we weren’t that slow anyways. Just enjoy ;)Previously happened: Against All Odds, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4
Chapter 5
It was a Saturday evening, both of their parents were away, Kaoru's father on a business trip and Die's mother visiting her sister in another prefecture. They had just finished their studies, both their heads full with knowledge, and now lay down on the redhead's bed.
Without even thinking about switching on the TV, they went over to kissing, Kaoru wrapping one arm around the other's neck to hold him close. Instinctively the redhead leaned closer, pressing their bodies against each other in search for closeness. He loved the kisses in itself, but it always made his heart skip how the other held him close or touched his cheek or some other simple gesture like that.
Absent-mindedly, Kaoru's hand left Die's neck and travelled down his spine, passing-by his sides and the slight curve of his hip until it came to rest on his butt. It just had happened on its own accord, but when he noticed it, the pink-haired blushed and quickly withdrew.
Die hadn't even noticed it, but he did notice as the other startled all of a sudden. As they parted for air he tilted his head a bit, looking questioning. "Something wrong?"
"No, it's just that I ... I didn't mean to..." Kaoru had no idea how to explain it. They had never talked about any rules, had never said that touching was forbidden. Still, this was more intimate than kissing and just touching the cheek or pulling him closer by wrapping one arm around his waist.
The younger still didn't understand completely. "You didn't mean to what?" He had been just so captured by the moment that he didn't see what had happened.
"Just forget it, okay?" Kaoru asked hopefully and leaned in to kiss Die again.
"I don't even know what to forget." Die frowned a bit, dodging the contact as he knew the other just wanted to distract him with it.
"You can be such a pain, did you know that?" The older rolled his eyes and growled annoyed. He hated it when Die made him explain everything, especially things that embarrassed him. "I just put my hand here." With ostentation, he put his hand back on the other's butt, this time even squeezing a bit to tease him.
"And?" The redhead grinned, enjoying the moment since he knew the other was embarrassed. It didn't even bother him for some reason that the other squeezed his rear. Instantly, the colour on Kaoru's cheeks deepened and his heart seemed to beat in his throat. He had no idea what to answer to that, nor how to react.
"You tell me," he whispered finally, blinking at Die with an innocent expression on his face.
"I don't know." Slowly the smile faded from the younger's face, simply because he didn't know what he was supposed to say to that. He couldn't possibly tell the other he liked it when he touched him.
The situation felt all too uncomfortable and Kaoru way too insecure to try anything. Slowly, he retreated his hand again and pecked the redhead's lips. "I think it's time to go to bed." Indeed, it was quite late already, but that usually didn't disturb them.
Die tried to smile, but he really didn't want the other to go. But if he had asked him not to, then he would've had to explain why, and that he wasn't willing to do. He wasn't willing to admit it to himself even completely yet.
Reluctantly, the pink-haired stood up. He had been practically waiting for the other to ask him to stay, to tell him he wanted to be near him. But of course this would never happen. And although he knew Die enjoyed the kisses they shared as much as he himself, he was also quite sure that he didn't feel more but friendship.
The younger bit his lip, closing his eyes as the other stood up. "Don't." The word escaped him before he even knew he was talking, and his voice was so low he wasn't sure if Kaoru had even noticed it.
But the sound echoed in the otherwise quiet room and made Kaoru flinch inwardly. He knew this was asking a lot, but he wanted to hear it from Die's lips and so asked without turning around. "Don't what?"
A long silence followed, before the younger broke it. "Go." The word sounded a bit choked, because it really took a lot from Die to get it out.
This was all Kaoru had wanted to hear and without urging him further, he slid back into bed beside him, instantly cuddling close again. Smiling, he caressed Die's cheek. "You are cute." The words were hardly above a whisper and he continued in the same tone. "Trying to embarrass me and now look at you, you are red like a tomato."
"Why do you just tease me when you know it makes me blush?" Die smiled, calming down almost instantly as the other was there again. It was an effect no one had before had on him.
"I'm not teasing you. I try to figure out what you want," came the honest reply with a stunning smile.
"You bastard." Playfully, the redhead hit the other's shoulder, but almost instantly just leaned a bit closer to the shared warmth.
"Now you hit me?" Kaoru pouted playfully and rubbed the spot where the other had hit him. "I should just slap you." Despite his words, he closed the short distance between their lips and initiated a sweet kiss. Die had been about to say something, but it just turned into a mewl as the kiss shut down his thoughts for the moment.
There it was again, this feeling that made Kaoru's head spin and his heart pound quickly in his chest. He was so lost in the contact, that he subconsciously brought his hand back to the other's butt. It was as if his body wanted to show him how drawn he was towards the redhead, that it needed his proximity.
Without giving it a single thought Die wrapped one of his legs around the Kaoru's, turning a bit and pulling him closer with the movement. It all came by itself to him, as he was just totally lost in the soft kiss, and just wanted to have the other near to him. As near as possible.
It caused the older's heart to stop beating for a moment as it jumped into his throat where it began to pound frantically. He knew he should break this, knew it wasn't right to go this far. But although he had been determined not to change anything in his behaviour and do more than kissing, he had to surrender to the feelings the whole situation evoked in him, and slowly began to caress Die's back while pressing himself closer.
The redhead sighed softly into the kiss, even smiling into it a bit. Somehow he felt all too content, complete opposite of what he had thought he'd feel if they'd slide even a bit further than mere kissing. But the other's touch on his back felt just somehow right, like it was supposed to be like that.
The need for air forced them apart, but Kaoru initiated another kiss right away. He was too afraid that Die could break the moment, could finally see that he didn't want it and push him away. Tentatively, he changed the manner of the kiss, deepened it as well as the playfulness vanished and it became more passionate than usual.
That caused Die's heart to beat frantically in return, but he didn't do anything to break it, nor to push the other away. Quite the contrary, he tried to return the kiss as well as he was able to, and tightened the hold he had on the older with his leg still around his, to keep him from pulling away on his side.
The way in which he reacted caused heat to gather in Kaoru's groin and although he fought hard for control, he couldn't do anything against it. Still, he didn't pull away instantly, but after some time had to shift further and to break the contact, gasping for breath. Realizing, that he had fallen hard for the redhead, his step-brother, he felt desperation seeping into his mind which left him speechless. Being trapped, held by the other's leg and arm, he just looked at him with huge eyes, unable to react in any way.
For a moment Die only concentrated on gasping for breath and trying to normalize his breathing. Slowly a slight blush crept on his face though when he realized what he had done, and he moved his leg a bit, releasing the other from the grip. He didn't know what to say, not even what to think, but he felt embarrassed due to his own reaction.
For a second, Kaoru almost confessed to the younger, almost told him what he felt and how confused he was. But he didn't dare; too afraid it would ruin everything. So he took a deep breath and sorted his thoughts, coming to the conclusion that he would leave it up to Die to show or tell him what he wanted, if he wanted anything at all. He noticed the redhead's embarrassment and wanted to make it easier for him. "Next time, I just slap you," he stated winking and forced a smile on his lips.
Die chuckled a bit, but it was somehow forced though. "Sorry." He didn't know why he had just acted that way, why he had just tried to make the other come closer like that.
"What for?" Kaoru asked, not wanting to hear the answer. "I meant slapping you for hitting me, instead of rewarding you with a kiss."
"Oh," The younger nodded slowly. He had been sure the pink-haired had just had wanted to slap him for what he had done. "Then I guess I just have to look out not to hit you anymore." He smiled a bit.
Kaoru's heart was still beating fast. He understood what Die had meant, saw that this was a misunderstanding, and instinctively brought his hand up, touching his cheek softly. When he realized what he was doing, he flinched a bit, but covered his sudden insecurity by pecking the other's lips once more. "I guess it's time for bed. Dad will come home soon and he won't be delighted when we're still awake at this hour when there's school tomorrow."
"Yeah, especially if he'll decide to stop by upstairs and walks in at the wrong moment." Die smiled, trying to shrug off the weird feeling that had gotten its grip on him.
The comment made Kaoru bite his lip and he nodded. It hurt him to hear this from the other, although he knew it would cause nothing but serious trouble if either of their parents caught them making out. "Yeah." The answer came with a short delay. "So I better go now." Reluctantly, he stood up and then quickly went over to his bed. Before he slid under the covers, he got rid of his jeans and t-shirt.
Usually it was just normal that the other retreated to his own bed at one point, and it never had bothered Die. But now it did. He felt a lump in his throat, but tried to force it down, being angry at himself for reacting that way. Why in hell was a tiny bit of closeness so important to him all of a sudden?
Once safely in his bed, Kaoru covered his eyes with his forearm and tried to calm down the confusing emotions that were running through him. He had almost asked Die if he could sleep in his bed, close to him, but now was glad that he hadn't. He wouldn't have been able to guarantee that he didn't try anything even though he had taken the decision to leave it up to the other to start something or end it. Still, he prayed that Die wouldn't end their sessions of making out, that he wanted to have him near. And when he thought about the moment when the other had wrapped his leg around him and pulled him closer, his heart again began to beat quicker in his chest.
After a short silence Die swallowed hard to get his voice working properly. "Good night." He just had to say something to his brother, feeling that if they had just tried to sleep now, the silence would suffocate him. A part of him wanted to ask Kaoru to come back and to sleep beside him, another part wanted to get up and crawl into his bed to be close to him. But the biggest, rational part of his mind just told him to stay in his own bed and not to ask for anything. And that was what he did.
"Good night." Koru's voice was low and quiet, but he smiled when he returned the sentiment. He simply tried to imagine that Die was lying right beside him, tried to remember his scent and taste, his body heat. "Have sweet dreams." And he meant it. He didn't want the other to feel bad in any way, let alone regret anything.
"You too." Kaoru's words made the younger one smile, and even relax a bit. So nothing seemed to have changed, and he was simply thankful that he hadn't ruined anything.
In silent stipulation, neither of them mentioned that night afterwards. But it had changed something, because whenever they were kissing each other, which they still did whenever given the chance, they were trying to pull the other as close as possible.
Die's mother had become bigger and bigger and would soon give birth to their new sibling. This incident stood above everything like a black cloud and caused stress for all of them. She was moody, commanding them to tidy the flat, yelling at them to be quiet although they hadn't even said anything, until neither of them dared to even breathe when they were in their room.
She also seemed to climb upstairs to the room the boys were sharing more often, although she complained about not being able to move as well as before. Many times she just barged into the room, but gladly Die and Kaoru always had the time to part whenever they were kissing, and just pretend they had been doing something completely different. Many times they thanked the fact that one could hear Die's mom climbing up the stairs since she indeed had more difficulties in walking as she used to, now that she was so big.
Both boys thanked the lord whenever she and Kaoru's dad were out for a couple of hours, attending a preparations course for birth. The midwife had advised them to attend it, because Die's mother was already quite old for having another child and this would help her when it came to giving birth.
Kaoru had just closed the door behind their parents and now leaned heavily against the cold wood, sighing relieved. "As much as I will hate it, I can't wait for that bastard to be born. Your mom is insufferable like that."
"She is." Die nodded in agreement, just shaking his head a bit. "And hopefully she won't decide to have another baby as soon as this one has been born." He was still bothered by the fact that his mother didn't spend much time with him anymore, he hardly saw her and then, she was either fuming or telling them to do something or the whole family was there and she was talking about the new baby.
"Gods, I hope that too. But then, I will move out as soon as I find a university after school." Kaoru smiled at the other and detached from the wall. "Wanna use the moment of peace to watch a movie?" They hadn't done that in quite some time and actually he was only yearning for lying on the bed with Die, for being close to him.
For some reason it felt really bad when the other had said he'd be leaving, and it took Die a moment before he was able to push the thought of being left without him to the background. He tried to cover it with a smile though. "That'd be cool. At least mom isn't there to yell at us to turn the volume down."
Kaoru practically beamed and nodded. "Yeah, so let's go for some major action movie with lots of detonating bombs and gunfire." Without thinking, he took the younger's hand and dragged him upstairs to their room. He had noticed the shadow that had clouded Die's eyes for a moment when he had been talking about leaving, and although he knew it was inevitable, the house was just too small for all of them, he felt bad about it as well. But he also was looking forward to that day, because then he could maybe go back to Tokyo, which he still was missing badly.
The redhead tried to push back all the thoughts about the other leaving, since he knew those would just make him melancholy and he didn't want to ruin their precious time off of their parents with being moody. But as they began to choose a film to watch, he was just happy to be there, not thinking about the future at that moment.
Quickly, Kaoru inserted the DVD after they had agreed on a movie and then lay down beside the other. Inwardly, he regretted the fact that it wasn't that hot anymore and they both wore jeans and t-shirt since it would be too cold in boxers only. Let alone that he wouldn't have a decent explanation why he wanted to get rid of the clothes. He couldn't possibly tell his brother that he wanted to feel his skin against his own, that, whenever a part of their bodies touched accidentally, it made him irrationally happy.
Subconsciously Die leaned a bit closer to him as the movie begun, and although his mind was directed towards the happenings on the screen, he couldn't help but to instantly notice even the slightest movement of the body beside him. If he had dared he would've rested his head against the other's shoulder, but he kept himself from doing it, not sure if it'd be too much.
Though the movie was really exciting, Kaoru couldn't focus on it completely. His whole attention seemed to be drawn towards the redhead beside him, the warmth that radiated from his body, the slight movement his respiration caused. Everything made him oddly content and he couldn't remember a moment in his life when just being close to somebody like this has been sufficient to make him happy already.
Not even noticing it himself, the younger one leaned a bit closer all the time as the movie went on. He was honestly only concentrated on the movie, but it was like his subconsciousness knew it was vital to be as close to Kaoru as possible, and tried to provide him with closeness. Kaoru felt it and it made him smile.
At one point, it became uncomfortable and he wrapped his arm around Die's shoulders, pulling him against his chest to get into a more comfortable position. Although he had done it consciously, he couldn't prevent a blush from creeping on his cheeks that was luckily covered by the blue-ish flickering of the screen, which was the only light in the room.
Die only let out a tiny sigh and leaned into the embrace, oddly content at once. He staid there throughout the whole movie, just enjoying the other's proximity. He thought that if he'd have to let the other go eventually anyways, he could at least enjoy the time they still had.
After the credits had ended and the menu was shown on the screen again, Kaoru tilted his head a bit and smiled at the other. "You got the remote. You need to switch it off or change channels." He didn't let go of him though, enjoying to hold him like that.
"Oh, good that you said," Die turned his head to smile at him. "I had forgotten I even had it." He took the remote and turned to look at the screen again, intending on going through the channels briefly.
Kaoru just kept on staring at his face like hypnotized, but then finally managed to direct his gaze towards the screen as well. "Nothing really interesting on, as it seems."
"Yeah... only some news or homeshopping." The younger nodded, switching the TV off before turning to the other. "So unless we want to watch another DVD, there's nothing."
"Do you want to watch another movie?" Kaoru asked smiling. It took a moment before his eyes got used to the darkness, but then, he could clearly see the other's form next to him. "Maybe we shouldn't. I don't want to cut it when your mom comes back and decides we need to be quiet as smoke again."
"Yep. And I'm not sure if I even want to concentrate on another one now." Die just didn't want to move from where he was, and therefore had thought that another movie might grant him some more moments. Closing his eyes, he leaned a tiny bit more into the embrace.
The older smiled and based his head on Die's, inhaling his scent. "You smell so good." The comment had just slipped him and he instantly hushed afterwards, practically holding his breath and waiting how the other would react on that.
Die opened his eyes, surprised, but didn't even stir to move away. "Well thank you." He chuckled a bit, but noticed that the words actually even made him blush a tiny bit.
"I mean your shampoo," Kaoru hurried to explain, blushing furiously on his side. Actually, he had meant Die's natural scent though, nothing else. But still he couldn't allow himself to confess that.
"Okay," The younger just nodded slightly, closing his eyes and relaxing again, and relieved, the older followed his example, closed his eyes as well and tried force the tension out of his body.
"When did they say they'd be back?" Suddenly Die broke the silence, just asking what was on his mind.
"Knowing your mom's incredible appetite, I'd say they'll be home late because she will want to have some dinner before." Kaoru smiled at the younger and couldn't resist pecking his lips shortly. "So we might still have some time before they destroy the peace."
"I would've never thought I'd be this glad to get even a few moments without mom." the redhead confessed chuckling, and leaned in to peck the other's lips in return.
Grinning, Kaoru grabbed his head and pulled him closer to kiss him properly. It was something he had been waiting for all day since there hadn't been an opportunity before. "I'm sorry. I can't replace your mom, but I can distract you from thinking of her too much," he whispered smirking after they had parted and initiated another kiss right away.
Die concentrated on the kiss only, and after it broke, he pressed his forehead against the other's. "Well, I don't exactly want you to try to replace her." He grinned, "And you sure are doing a fine job distracting."
"Thanks for the compliment. I try my best." Kaoru said in a businesslike tone and pursed his lips, touching the other's with them shortly. "But you almost know everything about kissing and soon the student will outflank the teacher." He was still smiling and stared right into the redhead's eyes.
"Then I can help you develop in it." Die suggested, smiling brightly at the other.
"You mean my kissing-skills?" The older snickered and shook his head. "I'd be honored."
"No need. I'd be glad to." The younger was still smiling. Somehow just being close to Kaoru like that felt natural, as he felt he could just stay there like that for ages.
Although it hurt to say the following words, Kaoru meant them with all his heart, wanting to somehow show the redhead how much he liked him without giving away too much. "The girl, who'll get you once, is one lucky person."
Die flinched a bit, not even able to cover it completely. He forced out a smile though. "Thanks." He had no idea why hearing that felt awkward, as he should've only been glad to get a compliment of that kind.
"Just take your time." A short kiss landed on the redhead's lips. "Wait till you find somebody who's worth it." The next kiss followed and not wanting to hold back anymore, Kaoru deepened the contact instantly, bereaving both of them of their breath.
The redhead had still registered the words, but as soon as he felt the other's lips on his, he forgot that there even was anyone else in the whole world than the two of them.
Kaoru had never felt like that before, as if he would somehow cease to exist when the other wasn't there, when he couldn't hold him or feel his lips. Still, the rational part of his mind told him that he shouldn't get too excited about their kisses, shouldn't fall too hard, but it was too late anyways. So he settled for pushing all his fears to the background and instead enjoyed the moment as long as he was allowed to approach the other like that.
As the kiss dragged on, Die left his comfortable position and turned to face Kaoru better, so that they were able to deepen the contact. With time, he had got more self confident, and took a more active part even while they were making. Before, he had only followed the other's lead, responding to whatever he did.
First, it caused Kaoru to step back a bit, to allow him to take the lead without resistance. The mere fact that Die was kissing him somewhat demanding and urging, caused a shiver down his spine and his head to spin again. After some time, he playfully began to fight for dominance though, his tongue brushing forcefully against the other's. That was how Die enjoyed it the most, as they both tried to take over, playfully fighting over the leading role. Instinctively he leaned a bit closer still, wanting to be close to the other too.
Like naturally, the older wrapped his arms around him, pulling him almost on top of himself without breaking the contact. It enabled both of them to keep the kiss going, to deepen it as far as possible and to maintain the playful fight which was going on. Contently, the younger circled his arms around him as well, pressing their chests together. He couldn't help it, but the other had that kind of affect on him, he just yearned for the proximity although he didn't even know why.
Although he didn't want to, Kaoru had to part for air after what felt like an eternity, his lungs burning in lack of oxygen. He had never experienced kisses like that although he had kissed a lot already. It was just something in Die that made him want more, made him want to never break the contact. His mind was filled with other things he would have wanted to do with him, but his rational mind and the fear to destroy what they had, caused him not to give in to the urge. But he couldn't deny himself from softly touching the other's cheek, from running his fingertips over the smooth skin that just felt too good.
The soft touch made Die close his eyes, as he enjoyed it all too much. In his mind there was this vague thought of what he would want to do with Kaoru, what he'd want t go through with him, but he didn't know what exactly it was. He didn't know where he wanted to draw the line and therefore just kept the things how they were mainly. Most of all, he was nervous, afraid that if he did something wrong it'd break everything.
The older's heart was pounding so quickly that he feared it cold burst his chest and all of a sudden, there was this one sentence, those three words in his mind, which almost slipped him. Just before it happened, he pressed his lips firmly on the other's in the desperate attempt to keep himself from committing this mistake. But inwardly, he knew it was true. He had fallen in love with the redhead and didn't know how much longer he could pretend to feel nothing but friendship.
Instantly, the younger answered to the kiss, even mewling a tiny bit into it. He had given up on thinking about the situation, because it only confused him more every time, and went with the moment and how he felt. Not even noticing it consciously himself, he slid his hands under the other's shirt, caressing his back softly.
Feeling the other's fingertips on his bare back caused gooseflesh on Kaoru's skin and a shiver ran down his spine. Coevally, it made him irrationally happy and encouraged him to take another step himself. He ran his hands down Die's chest and when he had reached the hem of his shirt, tugged it up a bit, sliding his fingers across the smooth, warm, skin of the other's belly. The touch made Die smile into the kiss, and he felt his heart skip a beat or two. Only the mere feeling of the older's hands on his skin felt better than he'd even imagined.
Since the younger didn't stop him, not even flinched, Kaoru went further. He moved his arms around the Die's waist and there tentatively dipped his hands inside his pants, just sliding them beneath the hem and palming the skin there. Somehow, it all felt too good to be true and he wished this moment would last forever. The only reaction from the younger was that he shifted a bit closer, deepening the kiss slightly. The whole moment held a hypnotizing value to him, even the time was like standing still.
The whole situation was highly arousing for Kaoru, but this time he didn't waste a thought about breaking the contact. He would just have to wait and see how the younger reacted once he noticed it. They had gone too far already anyways to pretend there was nothing more between them, nothing sexual.
The redhead wasn't completely unaffected by the situation either, but he didn't want to break it still. He slid his hands up the other's back, pushing his shirt up simultaneously. In need to get closer, he pressed their bodies together, practically grinding against Kaoru.
The movement elicited a gasp from the older and he closed his eyes tightly. It was as if they were alone on earth, nothing disturbing the perfect quietness except both of their heavy respiration whenever they parted for breath, and except their simultaneously racing hearts.
Die knew he should stop, should break the moment and certainly not repeat what he had just done. But he did exactly the opposite than what his rational mind told him, acting on the feelings. And the whole moment was just too precious to break it now.
This time, the friction on his clothed arousal elicited a stifled moan of Kaoru and in a quick movement, he shoved his hands fully in the Die's pants, palming and squeezing his buttocks. He would've almost lost control over his actions, would've flipped them over and pinned the other against the mattress, but he held back and remained still otherwise.
The reaction from the other caused a small gasp to escape the redhead, and he pressed himself a bit closer still, trying to gain a bit of friction which made him feel so good. In a way, he was waiting for the other to do something, as he wasn't sure what he should do, how he should go on in the situation.
It was as if Kaoru had heard his thoughts, felt his insecurity and gathered all his courage to retreat his hands and quickly tug the shirt up, dragging it over Die's head. This of course broke the kiss and instantly, the older began to nibble his neck, licking over the taut, scented skin.
A long groan tore its way from the younger's throat, and he tilted his head to offer more skin. He had already slid the Kaoru's shirt up to his armpits, and now took a hold of the garment to get rid of it completely.
Instinctively, the older lifted his upper body, aiding him to get rid of his shirt. Kaoru was sure the other could feel how nervous and excited he was. Now that he thought about it, he had never been so nervous before, hadn't been in love like that before in his entire life. Once the garment was gone, he continued kissing and nibbling Die's neck, tentatively sucking some spots
It caused a forceful shudder to run through the redhead, as he leaned closer towards the other. The first real skin on skin contact made him hold his breath for a moment, feeling somehow unreal even.
Instinct took over and Kaoru couldn't hold back anymore. He wanted to make Die feel good, wanted to hear more sounds spill from his lips. Gently, he pushed him backwards against the mattress and began to kiss and lick his chest.
Weakly, the younger arched up towards the other. He ignored all the warnings his rational mind tried to give him, not caring anymore at that moment. His world consisted of the other right now, and they were alone in the universe if someone asked him.
Like hypnotized, the older continued his way down the other's chest, over his belly. He knew they had crossed the line longest, had noticed the slight bulge in Die's pants as well. But he didn't want to stop, didn't want to have reproaches and just lived for the moment. When he circled the navel with his tongue, diving into it and brushing over the scar, he suddenly heard steps on the stairs, coming up quickly.
At first Die didn't even notice them, the pleasant haze in his mind drowning out everything else. But as the steps were getting louder, he suddenly realized that someone was indeed coming to their room. As Kaoru startled and raised his head a bit, Die used the moment to roll away from underneath him. He had just somehow managed to get on his feet and take one step away from the bed when the door already creaked open.
Die's mother peeked inside and asked quietly. "Are you sleeping already?" Kaoru had problems to calm his racing heart and had only managed to drag the blanket over his form at the last moment. "Hmm," he answered, pretending to be half asleep.
"Just about to." Die's voice sounded a bit odd, but he managed to form a tiny smile, hoping it'd distract his mother enough. He thanked his luck that the lights off, and the only light that seeped into the room came from the hall behind the opened door.
"Okay, then sleep well you two. I just wanted to let you know that I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow and after that will go shopping with your dad. We still need a rocker for the baby and some other stuff. It's about time. Good night." Without waiting for a reply, she disappeared again. Kaoru was still holding his breath, unable to say or think anything just at that moment.
Die let out an audible sigh, closing his eyes for a moment, just relieved that his mother was gone and hadn't seen anything critical. He was utterly nervous still for some reason, and thought it'd be best if they indeed got some sleep now. "I guess we should sleep?" He turned to look at the other, not meeting his gaze straight though.
Kaoru knew he was right and nodded, forcing a smile on his lips. "Yes, I think so too." It would be dangerous to go on where they had left off if Die's mother had forgotten something and decided to barge in again. He cursed that woman, who didn't have any kind of sense for privacy, and inwardly regretted that the moment was gone. Sighing, he closed his eyes and tried to calm his racing heart, force the tension out of his body.
Quickly Die slid to his bed, pulling the covers over himself. His heart was beating fast, and only after the first shock started to fade he began to realize what just had happened. He didn't know if he was happy or angry that his mother had just broken the moment, had interrupted them. All in all, the emotions inside of him were mixed and he didn't have any idea what to do now. The thing that frightened him the most, was that he knew that if his mother hadn't come he had gone through it all with Kaoru. He wouldn't have stopped, it had all felt too good, and somehow it made him panic. He really would've gone all the way with the other. He didn’t sleep that night at all, just going through all the happenings in his mind. He was just too confused, didn't know a thing about this situation at all anymore.
Similar thoughts kept Kaoru from falling asleep. There had been something between them, some kind of magic, something he would call love with his own words. And he was both, happy and afraid because it had come so far. He knew that he wanted the other, wanted him to fall in love with him as well, wanted him to be his, but at the same time, he was aware of his responsibility. Die was inexperienced, didn't know how it felt when he was kissed in a certain way, when somebody touched him and he knew that if somebody felt this for the first time, it could make him do things he really didn't want. However, Kaoru was hoping that everything would work out somehow, that they would find a way to go on and all the way together.