(no subject)

[rabenhorst]

Title: Against All Odds; Chapter 4
Author: seinen_no and fonulyn
Rating: PG13 [for this chap]
Pairing: Die and Kaoru
Disclaimer: We own no one, only our dirty imaginations.
Comments:
seinen_no: First of all, Happy New Year to all of you! Heh, I don't really know what to say about this chapter. I just like it and I hope you do too. Hmm, I think that's it. Have fun^^

fonulyn: Happy new year from me too^^ And we’re halfway through the story already! Heh, and this time it didn’t even take as long as last time to update :D *cheers*


Previously happened: Against All Odds, Part 2, Part 3



Against All Odds
Chapter 4


During the following days it really began to bother Kaoru that Die seemed to ignore him at school, but he didn't say anything. The other's friends were simply too possessive and since everybody adored or admired the redhead, he didn't have a minute to spend with his older step-brother who had slowly gained the reputation of be an untouchable weirdo instead of being the quiet cool.

It bothered Die too, but somehow he still wasn't able to collect enough courage to break it. Sometimes he went to sit with his step-brother in the dining room, but mostly his shallow friends just surrounded him too fast for him to react in any ways. Inwardly he decided to talk to Kaoru about it, and ask if he'd sometimes want to hang out with him during the school day too, or if it would be just annoying.

But those minor troubles didn't smother the anticipation for their free weekend. Secretly, Kaoru had managed to get his hands on his dad's liquor without him noticing it, and he had asked an acquaintance at school for some porn movies. Other than that, he had borrowed some of the latest action movies and when their parents left on Friday morning before Die and he went to school, everything was prepared already.

The day seemed to go in slow motion and the redhead just counted minutes until he'd get to go home. When the time came he didn't even bother to say goodbyes to his clan, since he was just too excited about the movie-night. They had decided to order a pizza on the first day, and then just see what they'd eat the other days.

Kaoru had to stay a bit longer in school and when he returned, Die had already set everything in the living-room. It was one of the hottest days of summer and the older teen was soaked with sweat when he finally stepped through the door. Why on earth did they have sports class on such a day? Grinning at the other, he removed his shirt on his way to the stairs. "I need a shower first. I smell like a skunk."

"Okays." Die had taken one earlier already, so he would be ready to watch TV anytime. "I can order the pizzas meanwhile. Or you want to eat a bit later?"

"No, order them now. I'm hungry." With one last smile, Kaoru vanished upstairs. When he returned, he only wore shorts and an old t-shirt and his hair was still a bit wet. "I move into the shower. It's so nicely cool there." With a huge sigh, he sat down besides the other on the couch and stretched his feet out on the table, parting his legs a bit not to touch his own skin since it caused a clammy feeling. "I suggest though we wait a bit with the drinking. It only makes us hotter."

"Yeah, and we're in no hurry." Die agreed, nodding. "The food will be here in a minute." They had chosen some movies they both wanted to see, and began with some action ones.

When the pizza came, silence fell upon them as they were munching and kept their eyes locked on the screen. Only every now and then, one dropped a comment or made a joke about the ridiculous plot. The full stomach and the still present heat made Kaoru a bit dozy and at one point, his eyes fell shut, falling asleep for a few seconds before almost jumping up again. "Hell, I need a smoke. Wanna come out with me?"

"Sure, why not." The redhead thought it might be cooler outside, and not so damn hot all the time. They went out through the backdoor, settling to just lean against the wall and look to the darkening sky. Some clouds were gathering there, predicting that it might become a thunderstorm if the weather wouldn't change.

"Want one too?" Casually, Kaoru held up the package for Die and lit the cigarette he had already dangling between his lips. The sky held a hypnotizing value, an enticing play of light and darkness, but when he caught a glance at the other's face, he instantly locked his gaze there.

Die nodded, taking one and placing it between his lips as well. He didn't smoke regularly, but did when he was hanging around in a group where others did. He was a so called ‘social smoker’.

It surprised the pink-haired and he whistled through his teeth. "I didn't know you smoke." The smile on his lips said that he didn't mean it in a mocking way and it had only been a discovery. "I hope it'll rain. This heat is insufferable." Indeed, there was no breeze, not even the slightest whiff, like the peace before a storm.

"It'll be a storm when it decides to break this." The younger directed his eyes to the sky and to the heavy clouds. "But it'd be good to clear the air."

"Yeah." Kaoru nodded distantly and tilted his head backwards, releasing small rings of smoke into the sky. "The thing that's nice about a small town like this is that it's so quiet. In Tokyo, it's never silent. The city never sleeps." This was the first time he had mentioned something kind about this place, without the usual arrogance of a city-child.

Die noticed it and it made him smile. Maybe the other would slowly learn to like it here. For some reason it was important to him, that the other felt like home and staid. "You know, I haven't even been to Tokyo but something like three times in my entire life."

"It's different when you grow up there than when you're just an outsider on a visit. There's more to it than meets the eye. More than just bright neon signs and commercial screens or freaks. It has some very nice sides and is like an island of its own." Kaoru spoke full of love and it was clear that he still missed living there. In order not to allow melancholy to seep into his thoughts, he flicked his cigarette away and turned around to the younger one, smiling. "I would be ready for a decent drink now. What do you say?"

"I'm ready." The younger smiled brightly. He had noticed how the other talked about Tokyo with so much admiration, that it made him feel like he had missed something. They went inside, but the thought didn't leave his mind, and when they took their seats on the couch again, he turned to look at the other. "Would you show it to me once? Tokyo I mean."

"Sure." Kaoru turned to face him and smiled genuinely. "When we have the money to go there, I will. You see, you'll like it and it's a mind-blowing experience to go downtown by night." He really meant it and only thinking about going there with the other once brought a certain sparkle to his eyes.

"Can't wait then." Die grinned merrily, already liking the idea. "I'll take that as a promise."

"Take it as whatever you want. It will be ages before we can afford a trip there living only on the pocket money our parents give us." The older grinned as well and stood up again to fetch the drinks from the fridge.

Neither of them was used to drinking a lot of strong liquor and so they became quite giggly after the first emptied glasses already. "So, what about some porn?" Kaoru asked with flushed cheeks after the current movie had ended.

"Well, if you insist." The redhead smiled. Quite honestly he didn't care what they'd watch, since he just enjoyed the other's company so much.

"I don't insist and I certainly won't get up to insert the DVD." Despite his words, the pink-haired teen stood up, swaying dangerously for a few seconds, before he went to the TV. "What else do you suggest?"

"I don't really care. Porn is fine." Die shrugged, answering honestly. He didn't just want to think what to watch.

Shrugging, Kaoru inserted a DVD and went back to the couch. On his way, he kicked Die's legs which were blocking his way. "Move."

"Climb over them." The younger grinned, not in the mood to move an inch as he was sitting comfortably.

The older tried and lifted one leg, but he lost balance and fell on the couch, face down. His legs were on Die's lap and he wriggled them to get up again.

"Hey, don't kick me." Die chuckled, not making a move to help the other, just watching his struggle.

Finally, Kaoru managed to turn around, glaring at the redhead in mock anger. "Thank you for not helping me." Seeing that his position wasn't too uncomfortable, he remained like that, his legs on Die's lap. Moaning from the TV finally caught his attention and he tilted his head to take a look at it.

The redhead actually startled, snapping back to reality as he heard the sound. Suddenly he wasn't too sure if this had been a good idea, and it made him somehow nervous.

The alcohol had made Kaoru more at ease than would've been good probably and after some moments, he began commenting on the action. It began with harmless comments though. "Like every girl's only waiting to get nailed by a pool boy."

"How do you know that?" Die chuckled, seeing the comical side as well. "You've never been a girl. Maybe it's a common thing to have a thing for pool boys. Especially since they're always shirtless 24/7."

"You're right. I don't know how girls function." The older giggled and sneaked a peek at the redhead. For a couple of minutes, they were watching in silence, despite a few hysterical giggles when a scene was just too ridiculous. "This girl is amazing. She got fucked in the butt like four times already and still walks straight as if nothing had happened. I wonder how they do that."

"Maybe it just doesn't feel that bad?" The younger shrugged. "I've never been fucked in the butt so I wouldn't know." He reached for his glass, leaning over the other's legs that were still pillowed on his lap.

Kaoru bit his bottom lip, but didn't get the chance to comment on it further. A bright flash lit the room strangely for a few split seconds, followed by the deafening roaring of thunder. And then, with a loud bang, the power went out and they sat in the dark. "Great, just when it was getting interesting." Kaoru giggled, leaned forward and fumbled for his lighter on the table.

"So no more porn for today." Die sighed theatrically, but couldn't help but to chuckle. "Well, unless we’ll light some candles and read it."

"You mean look at the pictures." Slowly, Kaoru sat up, the lighter in his hand. "Say, do you know where you have some candles? We should really light some." Outside, the world was going down. Thunder rolled, lightning struck and then it began to pour when the sky opened its gates as if the gods had decided to wash away the sins from the earth.

"Wait a sec." Die stood up and went to one drawer, knowing where his mom kept candles usually. "Here's a few. Not too many though, so we can't light the whole house." He informed, taking the six candles that happened to be in there.

Kaoru lit only two and then smiled at the redhead. "This should be sufficient. Although it's kinda nice to watch a thunderstorm, don't you think?" Suddenly, he jumped up and grabbed Die's arm, making him follow. "C'mon, let’s go outside and get soaking wet." The time distance between thunder and lightning was growing, so they were far away already.

"Wet? You crazy?" Die had to laugh though, and he allowed the other to drag him outside. For a moment they stood in the doorframe, just looking at the pouring rain that was drumming the ground, creating huge puddles. Then, Die was the one to move, taking a hold of the other's wrist and tugging him along. "Now come on. You were the one who wanted to get wet!"

They jumped on the street, kicking the puddles of water, laughing madly. Kaoru tilted his head backwards, enjoying the rain that was washing over his face and soaked his t-shirt in no time. "This is great. Look at the sky, you can still see the lightning far away."

"Cool." Die just froze in his movement, staring hypnotized as he spotted a flash. He liked rain, especially now that it had been so hot lately.

For some moments, they were just standing there, but then, Kaoru jumped into a puddle right next to Die and splashed the dirty water at him. It ended into them running around, trying to catch the other until they were out of breath and began to shiver from the cold.

"Maybe we should get back inside?" The older suggested huffing, basing his hands on his knees and gasping for breath.

"Yeah," the younger agreed instantly, seriously out of breath and beginning to feel cold. "We need some dry clothes now. And I want something hot to drink."

"Hot?" Kaoru chuckled and followed him inside. There, he went upstairs and fetched two huge fluffy towels for them and then another drink from the kitchen. "Here, this will warm you up."

"Thanks." Die took the drink, smiling thankfully. He had to giggle at their appearances though, both being dripping wet. "I guess we should get rid of these." He reached out and tugged the other's shirt a bit. "We need dry clothes or we'll get sick."

"Yes mommy." Smirking, the older pulled his t-shirt over his head and threw it at Die, aiming for his face. "There you go."

"Hey!" The younger caught the shirt just in time, throwing it back at the other. "Don't you throw your filthy clothes at me!"

"It's only wet, not filthy. It's not like I'm throwing my shorts at you." Grinning dangerously, Kaoru tugged the cuff of his boxers, threatening to pull them off.

"Not yet." Die laughed. "But I don't know what you're capable of." He took a hold of his own shirt, slipping it off since it was starting to feel all uncomfortable and cold.

Kaoru indeed took off his boxers, but because they were causing an uncomfortable feeling and not to throw them at the other. Quickly, he wrapped the towel around his hips and then eyed the redhead. "What I'm capable of? Be careful, I'm capable of many things." He snickered and took a few steps towards the stairs. "Maybe we should go up if the power stays off? The beds are more comfortable than the couch and I want some fresh shorts."

"Sounds perfect indeed." Die nodded, getting rid of his wet clothes as well and wrapping himself into the towel. He gathered their wet clothes from the ground and dropped them to the bathroom on the way. Kaoru took two candles with him and the half empty bottle of liquor, then followed him upstairs.


Silence fell upon them when they were lying on Die's bed; the comfortable kind. Every now and then, one of them took a sip from the bottle. Finally, Kaoru spoke up, breaking the moment. "I did it. Got fucked in the butt, I mean."

"You what?" The redhead's eyes opened wide in surprise, as he would've never guessed that in a million years. "You did? When? How? Did it hurt?" The questions escaped him before he even realized, and made him blush a bit when he realized he might've sounded rude. "Sorry..."

The reaction made the other chuckle and he turned his head a bit to look at Die. "I won't answer 'how'," He said grinning, "because that, I believe you know. Well, the first couple of times, it hurts in the beginning, but it's getting better eventually." His heart was racing, because he hadn't intended to just burst out this secret of his. But what was said was said and he couldn't take it back now. So he thought that talking about it as casual as possible would be the best.

Die nodded thoughtfully, looking at the almost empty bottle for some moments. "So," He raised his gaze to meet the other's eyes. "You don't fancy girls at all?" He was purely curious, and even to his own surprise, the other's secret didn't make him think any differently of him.

"I would never say never, but generally, yes. I don't fancy them." Suddenly, Kaoru was overly afraid that Die could hate him for being gay and for kissing him. Instinctively, he put his and on his forearm and looked him directly in the eye. "Don't be afraid, I won't just jump you now, only because I fall for guys." Actually, that was what was going on in his mind, but he tried to shrug the thought off.

"Don't worry." Die smiled honestly. "I'm not scared of you or anything. I'd still be strong enough to fight you off." He tried to joke, to make it easier for the other, no matter how dumb it sounded. "How long have you known it?"

"I can't remember. I think when puberty struck, I first got interested in girls just like any other boy. But soon, I noticed that I stared a bit too long at my classmates in the showers after sports." Kaoru relaxed a bit and stared at the shadows the candles created on the ceiling. "I went both ways for some time and had my first time with a girl even."

"How was it?" The redhead hugged his legs close, basing his chin on his knees. "I feel really like a kid, you know." He smiled slightly. "You're the only one I've even kissed."

"But you did have a girlfriend." The older boy pointed out and sat up as well to face the other better. "How far did you go with her?"

"Not far." Die shrugged slightly. "I had two more serious girlfriends even, and with neither I got really anywhere."

"Why not?" Kaoru urged on, being curious himself. "Didn't they let you?"

"One didn't." The younger explained, a slightly distant look in his eyes as he tried to remember everything correctly. "But with the other..."

"Yeah?" Grinning, Kaoru gave him a friendly jab in the ribs. "Tell me."

"I guess I was the one to get too nervous eventually." Die grinned faintly. "It didn't feel like the right thing to do at that time... or something."

Without commenting on it, Kaoru decided to answer his initial question. "The first time was odd and I was too nervous to enjoy it. We did it a couple of times though but I always felt that something was missing. I blamed her as a person, because I wasn't really in love with her. But then, I met this guy..."

"Yeah?" The younger smiled, honestly this time, because he really appreciated how Kaoru was being so honest with him. "How did it go then?"

"Well," a crooked smile appeared on the older boy's face, "he was older and very experienced. I met him at a friend's party and it all went very quick. I went home with him and we spent the whole night together and although I was nervous and didn't really know what to do, it was good. Even better than that."

"So he nailed you or?" Die couldn't help it, but he just was the kind of person who asked everything he wanted to know if the situation allowed it. And he somehow felt like there was nothing he couldn't discuss with the other right now.

Kaoru had to bite his lip to stifle the chuckles that were trying to escape his throat. If Die wanted to know, then he could very well tell him everything. "Yes, he nailed me, sucked me, licked me and then started all over again. And I swear, I didn't walk straight the next morning." Amusement was sparkling in his eyes when he directed them at the redhead again. "But I got to fuck him too. Later."

Die let out an appreciative whistle. "So you've really done everything." He sounded mostly impressed. And he couldn't help a slight odd feeling, maybe it was envy since he had had no experiences of any kind. At least that was how he explained it to himself.

Kaoru sensed it and patted his arm in a friendly manner. "Don't worry. You'll get your share and it's not like sex is the most important thing on the planet. It is good, yeah, but if you ask me, kissing is something so much more intimate. You know, you can have sex with like anybody to satisfy needs, but kissing is a whole different matter."

Just after he had said those words, he would have wanted the earth to open up and swallow him. What had gotten into him to say something like that? Now Die would most definitely think he had kissed him because he loved him. What bothered Kaoru the most was, that he wasn't even sure if he would be wrong or not.

The redhead blushed at the words, averting his gaze and just trying to shrug the odd feeling off. Somehow a part of him was glad to hear the other say that, but he would've rather dropped dead than to admit it right now. After a short silence he tried to change the topic, not to show how much the words affected him. "So what happened then? To you and that guy. He left when you moved?"

"No." The other's innocence caused Kaoru to laugh again and he shook his head. "That was way before I moved. But he was, what you could call my first love or so. After that, I only had a couple of short affairs, one night stands and such. Nothing serious." It was somehow sweet how Die believed he'd still be together with that guy. But the fact was that it wasn't easy to build a lasting relationship as a gay. Most men were only looking for the kick of the moment and then, after finding satisfaction, were rushing to the next one. Of course there were many who were together for longer, but Kaoru just hadn't met the right person yet. Besides, the thought he was still young and could try everything before binding himself forever.

"You really sound terribly experienced." Die smiled honestly. "According to your words I'd say you're at least more than twenty to even have time for all of that. Or then I'm just that much of a sucker." He chuckled a bit, shaking his head.

"Die," Kaoru shook his head, laughing again, "You’re not a sucker. It's just easier to find somebody to fuck amongst gays. You know, they are still guys and horny to begin with. That's just it. And it's always a question of what you want. It took me some time till I realized that collecting experiences isn't everything."

"You just say so to make me feel better." Die chuckled, taking a longing glance at the already empty bottle. On the other hand he didn't really feel like drinking anymore. Somehow the talk had made him just thoughtful.

"I don't." All of a sudden Kaoru felt sober and he didn't like that feeling at that moment. It reminded him that he had talked a bit too much and given away things he had never told anybody before. Reluctantly, he rolled to the bed's edge and stood up. "I fetch some more to drink. We should destroy it while it's still cold."

"We can destroy it tomorrow too." The redhead suggested faintly. If the other wanted to drink more, he didn't have anything against it either though.

For a moment, the older stood beside the bed, not really knowing what to do. Die had sounded as if he wanted him to stay and so he just lay down beside him again, wordlessly.

Die really wanted the him to stay, although he couldn't even explain to himself why. He tried to come up with something to talk about, but all the things in his mind sounded just too silly to be said out loud.

The last candle was flickering and then went out, delivering them to pitch black darkness. As the power was still out, not even the street lanterns offered a glimpse of light. Slowly, the silence became oppressive and Kaoru wrecked his brains about something clever to say. He thought about his words and couldn't help but to be afraid that Die could think he was a cheap slut. True, there has been a time when he had taken all he could get, but this was only in the beginning. And he didn't have as many affairs as it might have sounded like. Somehow he felt the urge to explain that to the other. "You know, they weren't as many."

"Huh?" Die startled as Kaoru spoke, beause he had just tried to come up with something to say. He searched for the other's form in the darkness, although couldn't practically see anything. "Oh, okays. You don't need to explain anything to me." He smiled although he knew it would go to waste in the darkness.

"But I want to." Kaoru spoke firmly. "It's just that I now feel cheap and I really ain't. Fuck!" He growled in lack of words to explain his feelings. "I mean, you're so innocent and compared to you, I seem like a player without feelings."

"I didn't think you as cheap." Die answered completely honest. "I was just thinking about everything we talked about. It's all new information for me, you know."

"I know." The older nodded and then hushed for a few moments. "And you should wait for the right someone with whom you really feel at ease, who you love." To his own surprise, Kaoru really meant it and he didn't mean himself with those words. To release part of the tension in him, he joked. "Meanwhile you can practice kissing with me."

"I wouldn't mind." The younger confessed before he got a grip of himself. Quickly he clapped his hand on his mouth, not believing what he had just said. And what shocked him even more, was that he meant it even.

"You wouldn't?" Although Kaoru had tried to sound mocking, he failed miserably since the words had caused his heart to skip a few beats. Encouraged by the darkness, he rolled on his side and gently put his hand on Die's cheek, turning his head to face him. He only hesitated for a split second, but then kissed him shortly. "Like this?"

"Like that." Die even chuckled a bit. He could feel himself blushing furiously in the darkness, but he really couldn't deny that he had liked it when the other had kissed him. Even the slight touch on his cheek made a weird warmth spread in him.

"You know," the older smirked, "this would be the moment where you kiss me back." He kept his hand where it was, even caressed the other's cheek softly with his thumb and chuckled. "You really have to learn a lot."

His heart beating nervously, the redhead leaned a bit closer and touched the other's lips with his own. Although at first he had been embarrassed how inexperienced he was, somehow the other's mere presence soothed him.

It was still the kiss of an innocent boy, but Kaoru loved it. Loved that the other still had what he had lost ages ago as it seemed. He tried not to dominate it too much, only showed Die the right way, taught him how to use his tongue and encouraged him to explore everything on his own. And again, his heart was beating fast, a flock of butterflies stirring in his stomach.

At one point Die even forgot to breathe, just concentrating on the moment and the way the other was softly guiding him. He couldn't deny that he enjoyed the moment whole heartedly, which already was a bit unexpected if one asked him.

Lost in the blissful haze the kiss had cast upon him and forgetting where he was and whom he was just kissing, Kaoru let his hand travel down the younger's arm, over his sides to his waist, pulling him closer against himself. Die tasted sweet, sweeter than anybody he had kissed before, and his lips were so soft that their touch seemed almost unreal.

The redhead allowed him to shift him closer, even leaned in a bit to help. He gained more confidence with each passing moment, and enjoyed it more all the time. He just gave up thinking completely, and only acted on instinct and emotion.

Both were a bit out of breath when they finally parted for air. "That was a lot better." Kaoru's voice was quiet and sounded raspy as if he had just woken up. If it had been him to decide, he would have kissed the other again and again, because he slowly became addicted to his gentle kisses and the feelings they evoked in him.

"I guess I'm not a hopeless case then." One could hear the smile in Die's voice. He didn't move an inch to pull further, just enjoying how they were lying so near to each other, the other's warmth devolving on him. That night, they were close to each other and even though it was still warm, neither of them thought about getting some distance between them.

The rest of the weekend went by in no time. The next day, the power went back on and they returned to watching the movies they had rented, ate the rest of their pizzas and enjoyed each other's company. Despite that, they began to kiss more often. Whenever one of them felt like it, he would just pull the other closer and initiate a soft kiss.

Even after their parents had come back and school started again, they would still do it, anxious though that Die's mother and Kaoru's father didn't notice anything. Kaoru had his fun when they were lying on Die's bed and watched a movie. He kept the sweets out of the redhead's reach and whenever Die asked him for something by opening his mouth, he just shoved a piece of chocolate, a gummi bear or something else inside and then kissed him deeply.

It was quickly becoming one of Die's favourite hobbies. Just to spend time with the other and watch movies, kissing every now and then in between. With his girlfriends he hadn't even felt the urge to go for any massive face sucking, but now it was totally different somehow. Many times, he caught himself just staring at the other's lips, or his eyes or just something in him, when he was supposed to be doing something else.

They managed to involve kissing with practically everything, since even when Kaoru helped Die with something for school, every time he managed to learn something new he was rewarded with a kiss. Their parents were just happy since it seemed that the boys got along nowadays, and weren't fighting over things like in the beginning.

To Kaoru's surprise, he was fully content with just being together with the redhead, just with kissing him and although he couldn't deny that he wouldn't reject him if he asked for more, he didn't feel the urge to take the first step. Somehow, it felt as if they were in their own universe whenever they were closing the door behind them, whenever they were talking, studying and kissing. This was something nobody else could spoil, not even Die's mom with her belly that got bigger and bigger. More than once, she just barged in and almost caught them, but they always managed to part quick enough, pretending they had just done something completely different.

Slowly, the days were becoming less hot and were getting shorter. Autumn came and with it the end of the school year, Kaoru's last year. But they still had some time left and although the older had to study for important tests more often, they always found the time for their movie evenings.

Die couldn't help but to be a bit nervous that the other would soon finish school and then probably move away and study at a university. As much as he first hadn't wanted to share his room with someone, now he didn't want to be left alone in there. But another thing that made him nervous all of a sudden was that he was beginning to imagine how it'd be to do something else with Kaoru. Something further than just kissing. He kept the thoughts to himself though and never mentioned anything to the other.