rabenhorst | (no subject)

Title: After All These Years
Author:

fonulyn
Rating: PG
Pairing: Kaoru x Die
Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the persons mentioned in this nor have any connections with them. I do NOT get any money from this, and it's written solely on entertainment purposes meaning no harm.
Comments: Basically Die’s thoughts about his relationship with Kaoru. This is one of the first ones I ever wrote, the first one for the challenge in

50stories. I kinda like it, to be honest x)

After All These Years
[Die’s pov]

This year completes five years in which we have been living together. As the fifth anniversary approached, I began to think a lot about this, about my life and what it has become. I’m truly happy now, that’s the one thing I’m sure of. Another thing I’m sure of is that I love you more than I ever have, and that’s awfully lot. Among these years we have grown closer and closer to each other, and I never thought that belonging to another person like this could be possible.

I liked to watch people. Whenever we were on tour, I spent most of the travelling time by staring out of the window, examining the by passers. Some of them alone, sad or simply fallen deep in their thoughts. Small children running and laughing, old people walking slowly and carefully. Persons of different sizes and variations. That’s really fascinating. When I got the chance, I also peeked through people’s windows into their homes. Not in some psycho-perverted way, just to see how they live. The simple things of everyday life. There’s something quite comforting in seeing how people live. Or how normal people live, I should say. It made me feel like for a short while I was a part of their lives. Like I had a normal life too.

My life is full of events; recording, touring, playing a live after live. I can’t go to the park just for walk, because I’m famous you know. It’s not the same when people are staring at me and come after me in hopes of getting an autograph. It’s so frustrating that sometimes I feel like I have to scream. But don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I don’t like what I do. Quite the contrary. When I’m on the stage, I feel truly alive when the audience is singing along, feeling the rhythm, living with the music. At those moments I forget everything which doesn’t include the blissful feeling of being able to make music for living. I love those moments almost as much as I love you. But every night when I curled up to my bed alone and cold, I wondered what it would be like to live a normal life. And by normal I mean waking up, going to work, spend some time with friends and share my life with the ‘right one’. And by the ‘right one’ I meant you, of course.

I have had this thing for you as long as I remember. Although at first it was only a slight attraction within our deep bond as friends. But then slowly it grew, until it was about to suffocate me. I have to say that I would have died happy, if that was the way I had to go. To be suffocated by loving you is far better than to keep on living without you. It would be safe to say, that at some point after studying you for some time I knew your habits probably better that you did yourself. The way you push your jaw out front when you do your macho pose, the small wrinkles between your eyebrows when you’re deep in thought, the soft blush covering your cheeks when you feel short of words. In my fascination of studying people you were - and you still are – the best target I could hope for.

I still remember our first kiss, although among the years there have been dozens and dozens of kisses. If one would ask you, you would say it was you who initiated the kiss. I’m not so sure. I like to consider it as a mutual beginning. Anyways, we were on backstage after a show. All happy and giddy after a good performance. Everyone just kept running around in a chaotic manner. Then I found myself staring in your eyes, in those deep brown beautiful eyes that one could drown in. My ecstatic heart sped up, even I had thought it wouldn’t be possible. I walked to you in a daze, my feet barely touching the ground. You turned and started to walk out of the room, but you kept your head turned towards me and led me on with your eyes. I was hypnotized, I’d lost myself in you.

I followed you outside and as soon as we reached the hallway you stopped turning to face me. I can still picture perfectly that half-nervous smile plastered on your small lips. You looked me in the eye and after that nanosecond we were in our own universe. The hallway was empty, but we couldn’t have cared less if there were a whole army trapped at the same room. We leaned in towards each other and our lips met. That was the highlight of my life that far. The way your soft lips moved against mine, slightly parting, our tongues meeting and caressing in slow motions. You pressed your body against mine, capturing me against the wall. And I was a willing prisoner. That was one of those things that can change your life in a brief moment. If I hadn’t known before that I was yours, now there was no doubt of it.

After that first unforgettable kiss we spent a good fifteen minutes staring at each other. You didn’t promise me love and eternity with your words, but in your eyes I saw us. Together. And I knew that this was meant to be. We were quite open with everything straight from the beginning. Wasting no time we even moved in together as soon as we got all the arrangements, such as buying a bigger flat, out of the way.

Let the fairy tale begin.

I still like to watch people. The fascination hasn’t died. But I don’t do it to be a part of their lives anymore, I don’t need to. Now I have my own little piece of heaven in form of you. We live our everyday life as a perfectly normal couple, spending time with each other, sharing the small events in life as well as the big ones. It’s because of you that I feel alive again.

And after all these years what makes my heart sing, is that you’re still by my side.