rabenhorst | [fic] Minho/Key – SHINee

Title: Secret Dreams
Author:

fonulyn
Rating: PG
Pairing: girl!Minho/Key (aka Minjung/Gwiboon)
Warnings: no historical accuracy whatsoever
Disclaimer: I own no one, only my dirty imagination.
Summary: Minjung knows her feelings aren’t appropriate. She can’t stop feeling them anyway.
Comments: I’m kind of stuck with all my wips so …here? an austen-ish girl!minkey, lmao. It’s something that just happened, I had no control over it, just woke up and typed. I do hope you enjoy :)

Cursing inwardly, Minjung kicks off her shoes as her heels dig into the soft soil for the third time. She briefly considers even leaving them there but bends down eventually to grab them, knowing the kind of lecture she’d get from her mother for abandoning her expensive, fancy footwear. Not that she won’t already gain a lecture for doing this, she knows that much. She can already see her mother’s icy stare, hear her steely words in her head.

Minjung, you know it’s not proper for you to run around barefoot. If you want to spend time at the pavilion you ask for the maid to set up some tea, and you take the coach. You do not sneak out and cross the meadow on your own. It’s not appropriate for a lady. Do I make myself clear? You’ve always been a handful but, dear, you are supposed to get married in a year or two, how am I going to find you a suitable fiancé if you keep disappointing me?

It’s something Minjung has sat through a million times. She knows she’s going to drive her mother to an early grave with the way she’s acting. Her older brother has never been anything but perfect, the son anyone would wish for, and everyone assumed that Minjung would in turn be the model daughter. Yet the moment she started to show interest in the same things her brother likes, sports, fencing and riding and definitely not any goddamn dresses, it became clear things didn’t exactly go according to the plan.

With a huff Minjung throws her shoes aside as soon as she reaches the pavilion. It’s peaceful and beautiful, right by the serene lake and overshadowed by carefully planted vines and trees. Her mother brings guests here sometimes, for tea, but usually their fancy tea room back at the house is her number one choice. Minjung doesn’t complain, especially as it gives her the freedom to use the pavilion as some sort of an escape from reality. Like her very own island of calm in the life she’s not so fond of.

Her dress makes a rustling sound as she sits down on the wooden floorboards, completely disregarding the white cane chairs and the floral pillows. For a moment she simply enjoys the silence, eyes closed and head tilted back, waiting for the tension to leak out of her shoulders. The only sounds are the soft singing of the waves and the distant chirps of the birds.

After a moment, Minjung opens her eyes again and digs through the bag she packed hastily before climbing out of her window. Thankfully her mother still thinks she sneaks out through the door, otherwise her window would be permanently bolted shut. It’s at least something that makes Minjung smirk as she opens the book she’s halfway through reading, and sinks her teeth into a fresh apple.

This, this right here is what life should be. As long as she can ignore the nagging in the back of her skull, can block out what she knows will come way too soon, and pretend that this is just another regular summer day in the row of many.

It’s already dark by the time Minjung sneaks back into the house, the door closing softly behind her. She knows she’s going to be in trouble for missing dinner completely, especially when they were supposed to get visitors tonight. She didn’t intend on being out for the whole day, but somehow the sense of time completely slipped her mind as she finally got a moment on her own. There’s nothing she can do about it now, except take whatever speech her mother has prepared for her.

“Psst, Minjung!”

A sudden stage-whisper pulls Minjung back from her thoughts, making her realize she’s not as alone as she thought she was. She flinches, but when she realizes who she’s with it instantly helps her relax. “Gwiboon, please. You scared me!” She hisses, even though there’s no heat behind it. Contrarily, she’s already smiling, a familiar giddiness bubbling up in her chest at the mere sight of her best friend. “What are you doing?”

“Waiting for you, obviously,” Gwiboon sighs as if it pains her how dense Minjung is. She slips closer though, hooking her arm with Minjung’s to pull her along down the corridor. “Your mother wants to have your head so I figured I’d save you from her clutches. You owe me!”

Oh yes, Minjung knows that. Now she’ll at least gain a good night’s sleep before she has to listen to her mother pointedly list out her shortcomings. “What would I do without you?” It’s supposed to come out teasing, not painfully sincere, but Minjung has always been bad at controlling her emotions when she’s around Gwiboon. It’s like the other girl is the only person in the world who makes her forget who she is, act without straining for control.

They slip into Gwiboon’s room and for the millionth time Minjung is grateful that they practically live together for the whole summer. She still can’t understand how it’s possible for her mother to be best friends with someone like Gwiboon’s mother, as the two are completely different. Where Minjung’s mother is all about social class, impressing the society and fitting in, Gwiboon’s mother is like a butterfly everyone admires even for her unconventional ways.

Maybe that’s what’s made Gwiboon what she is, too. She’s always at home no matter the situation, can go from a perfectly trained princess dancing in the ballroom to running across the meadows with Minjung on her tail to chase her down. She balances the line between socially acceptable and a free spirit so effortlessly, Minjung is more than a little envious. It’s something Minjung never learned, how to shift between roles according to the situation. She’s just always what she is, awkward and straightforward, not as fine as a lady should be.

The thoughts, or at least some of them, must show on her face since Gwiboon frowns and slips her arm free. “Stop moping,” she commands, her tone much more gentle than usual. “Sit down.”

Helpless but to obey, Minjung drops down on the edge of her bed, frowning at the dirty footprints she’s left on the floor. One more thing for her mother to be upset about. The next second the bed shifts, another weight behind her as Gwiboon shuffles closer, kneeling behind Minjung’s back. Wordlessly she slides her fingers through Minjung’s hair, works out the knots and the ribbons, unbraids what hasn’t already come loose on its own.

It’s relaxing, to the point that Minjung lets her eyes slip shut as she enjoys the touches. Gwiboon begins brushing her hair next, calm and even strokes, focused on it as if there’s nothing more important in the world right now.

“Want to tell me what’s bothering you?” Gwiboon asks after a while, her nimble fingers easily braiding Minjung’s long strands to keep them out of her face. “You’ve been running out almost every day for the past week. We don’t even get to spend any time together!” She sounds faintly accusing, the pout audible in her voice.

It makes Minjung smile, fondly. “I’m sorry. I’ll be better.” She means it, she wants to spend more time with Gwiboon, like they used to. She has to take whatever she can get, now that it’s still possible. In only two short months this will all come to an end, at least as it is now. Maybe that’s what she’s been running from. No, that definitely is what she’s been running from.

Gwiboon sighs, pats the back of Minjung’s head to signal she’s done, and plops down to sit cross-legged on the bed. Her lavender nightgown pools around her legs and she pulls the dressing gown on tighter, fumbling with the purple lace on the edges. “I miss you,” she confesses, looking down instead of meeting Minjung’s eyes. “And I know that things will change but… you’re still my best friend. I don’t want to lose that.”

Minjung’s throat laces up at the words and she shifts to sit on the bed properly. Her light green dress is definitely dirty, muddy even, but she doesn’t take pity on the covers as she slides closer to Gwiboon and reaches to take her hands. “You won’t. I’ll always be right here.” She knows it’s true. She’ll always be right there, hovering on the edges of Gwiboon’s life, yearning for anything she has to give. Her life revolves around Gwiboon, always has, as Gwiboon balances her the way no one else does. She’s known from a very young age that her feelings for Gwiboon aren’t appropriate, go beyond that of usual friendship.

“I’m getting married, Minjung,” Gwiboon finally looks up, her eyes shining with emotion. It doesn’t quite look like happiness, and it’s no secret to either of them that this marriage isn’t what Gwiboon chose for herself. She hasn’t said a word to anyone else, has covered it all up under polite words and impeccable smiles. Yet Minjung is the one who held her when she cried after the news first came, who listened to her fears and tried to give her the support she could.

“I’m getting married,” Gwiboon repeats, urgency in her tone. “I’ll have to coordinate the whole household on my own, hire the maids and make sure everything is done right. I’ll have to be the perfect host and make it look like nothing takes any effort at all. I’ll have to bear children and raise them and try not to ruin everything.”

Minjung closes her eyes, struggling against the panic rising in her chest. She knows all that, it’s not like they haven’t gone through it before. Yet the more she thinks of it, the more it hurts.

“The thing is, I’m not scared of that, not really,” Gwiboon admits, voice barely audible. “I know I can figure it out. I’m not the first girl to get married. But,” she pauses and squeezes Minjung’s hands tighter, tangling their fingers as if she doesn’t want to let go of her. Ever. It’s what makes Minjung open her eyes, hold her breath, as she waits for what’s to come.

“I’m scared of losing you.”

It’s the kind of raw honesty that leaves Minjung speechless. For the first time ever it feels like she might not be alone in this. Gwiboon doesn’t look at her like a childhood friend, someone she used to play with and then grew up with. There’s so much more laced into her gaze, swirling in her eyes.

Minjung isn’t sure if it makes things better or worse.

She swallows, makes sure her voice doesn’t betray her as she speaks up. “You won’t.” She watches as Gwiboon chokes back a sob, opens her arms as Gwiboon falls right into the embrace. The silk of the dressing gown feels cold underneath Minjung’s fingertips. She buries her nose into Gwiboon’s hair, inhales the faint scent of honey and cinnamon that somehow always seems to follow her.

“Ever.”

Fifty-nine days later the huge wedding party takes place. There are flowers everywhere, the kind of bloom that only happens when the summer is taking its last breaths and tries to fight with all its might against the first cool autumn days. It’s brilliant, the way the sun paints everything in golden hues as people lose themselves in laughter, dance and drinks.

Even Minjung’s mother is smiling, a genuine smile instead of the fake mask she plasters on more often. She watches her husband with adoring eyes as he gives a speech, glowing in happiness to see her perfect son wedded to a perfectly raised lady. It’s a match made in heaven, everyone around them says, whispering intently about the beautiful children the newly married couple will have. How can this be anything but a storybook romance, with the way the handsome groom looks lovingly at his bride.

And Gwiboon. Gwiboon is beautiful. She’s drowning in the amount of lace and pearls on her dress, white flowers in her dark curls and her eyes sparkling along with the diamonds. Her cheeks are flushed from all the attention, yet she takes it all in a stride, her manners impeccable and ladylike. If her smile is a little bit strained no one takes notice, and if her eyes always dart into the crowd to search until she finds what she needs it’s subtle enough to pass everyone by.

Minjung knows it’s all an act. She knows Gwiboon shook apart in her arms just days prior, knows how much they both dreaded this day. Yet there are no cracks in the perfect mask Gwiboon hides behind now and it’s too much, it’s what makes Minjung break.

She runs. She escapes the wedding reception and kicks off her shoes, leaving them in the grass of the meadow. She grabs the muddy hem of her dress to hike it up a bit, ignoring the way the little stones hurt her feet when she runs.

By the time she reaches the pavilion again she’s panting, her chest hurting as she tries to wheeze for breath, her legs burning from the effort. Yet she barely notices as she collapses on the floor, eyes closed and leaning against the wall.

In all her life, Minjung has never envied her brother more. She has always looked up to him, admired him, wanted to be like him.

Now she wants to replace him. She wants to be him.

She knows she never will.

---
(2259 words)

add | masterlist | request | random | tumblr? ;3

~~and then Minjung never marries and ends up staying with her brother’s family and secretly lives happily ever after with Gwiboon~ \o/~~

so have some austen-ish random girl!minkey? lmao idk how my brain works. …also totally named with the first half of a song title so I’m totally setting myself up for a sequel ~~kill me now~~

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

LNASLGNLGNELAKNSG:G OMG JANE AUSTEN YOU FOUND MY WEAKNESS!!!! SPOT OMFG SPOT!

OMG *HUGS THE SCREEN* I LOVE THIS! ;A; I CAN'T EVEN EXPRESS HOW MUCH!

This was just beautiful ;A; In everything. Your writing is just, gah! I want to print out and EAT every word, possibly turn the text liquid and smear it all over me! *rolls around in it*. I could feel this story IN MY SOUL. So heartbreaking. And yet, what can you do? It was the period. Anything else would have been unrealistic. I still hope they got to sneak in some moments of happiness together in that long marriage, just the two of them.

T___________________________________________T

You my dear friend - never stop writing. It's an ORDER. alfnwlönflknwaglknlegnlngaw

<3

Edited 2013-03-03 17:13 (UTC)

oh my oh my ;; I'm kind of sort of speechless? I woke up with this on my mind and figured I'd type it down since wow, I don't even remember when I would have last been so inspired! I guess it was a good decision :D

I'm just so happy you liked it ;; thank you thank you thank you~~♥ gah and yes, I told you that it took an angsty turn almost as soon as I began writing, and there was really no way to escape it. While driving I had these... flashes of what'll happen to them in the future but let's see if I'll write them or not. I am somehow a bit hesitant to touch the verse again :|

BUT YES. THEY MUST HAVE FOUND A WAY TO SNEAK IN SOME HAPPY MOMENTS ;_;

oh trust me, there's not really a threat of that :D I just need to somehow figure out a way to have more time and energy for the actual writing instead of just procrastinating. but the past few days have actually been pretty good in that regard~

I BABBLE. anyhoooow thank you once again ;; so glad you enjoyed!♥

jane austen is totally my weakness too tbh can't deny ;;

jsdnjokoieoi This is so beautiful~

aww I'm glad you think so! thank you :D

Okay, I've never read a fanfic (I think) that happen at this "era"...
It's new and never know how they solve this same sex love at that era so I think it's right that the ending isn't the happy one... :(
Still it must be hard to minjung that gwiboon become her in law...

yeah unfortunately the end couldn't be happier :( but I agree, it must be hard!

thanks for reading!

oh my god! ;;;;;;;
poor gwiboon! and poor minjung!
that last bit with the wedding and minjung running....so so heartbreaking.
i hope that there will be happier times in the sequel?
ugh what are all these feels. stop it. /shoves feels back at you
minkey~ ;;

their lives are long so there should be happier times in the future too :) I don't yet know if a sequel will happen, I'm kind of torn about it... but let's see!

ahah feels are good tho! and thanks for reading :)

ugh! sad story. poor Minjung and Gwiboon. they were so repressed by their surroundings.

yap, it does feel incomplete.

yeah, it's the time when things were more difficult in that aspect :| but maybe they had some happy times too, eventually~

let's see if it'll get continuation x) can't make promises! but thanks for reading :D

Gaaaah I'm so terribly late it's not even funny ;a; I'm sorry I've just been so busy lately ;a; bkhfgjndlms

But I really really like this! I actually read it twice but at first I was too overwhelmed to comment ;a; You captured the atmosphere perfectly, it seriously felt like reading something Austen wrote. I love it ;a;.

And the story omg it's so heartbreaking but as Nee said anything else would be unrealistic because of the time setting and just bdkjnfsfjndcm. I hope they were still able to meet often and have some quality time with each other even though Gwiboon got married. And ugh the characters I loved them ;a; I mean just Minjung kicks off her shoes as her heels dig into the soft soil for the third time. and She’s always at home no matter the situation, can go from a perfectly trained princess dancing in the ballroom to running across the meadows with Minjung on her tail to chase her down it's so perfect ;a;. Even though it was short i could picture EVERYTHING without fail I actually saw them running around and idk I could even breathe in the fresh air of the late XVIII century LOL. Even though you said no historical accuracy whatsoever it still kind of felt that way... 8)

/hugs you

it's really amazing <3 (now /kicks your ass, go write famous!ho. i've been a lame cheerleader because no time at all but go and do it!)

Aw sweetie don't worry! It's not like the fic runs away, you can take all the time you need :)

ahsidfb but that's such a big compliment thank you ;; I totally love Austen, her books are my secret weakness.

I'm also very veeeery glad you found you could imagine the happenings along with the fic :D It means I did something right~~ haha and that's basically what I was aiming for, the general feel of the time but not actually historically very accurate and detailed when it comes down to it XD ah I have some snippets that will happen later in their lives but I'm still not sure if I'll actually properly write them.

/hugs back tight

haha Nee just told me to write famous!ho XD but I'm stuck with it ;_______; idk what to do with it!

[fic] Minho/Key – SHINee – Secret Dreams

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject