rabenhorst (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rabenhorst) wrote2011-08-26 11:46 pm
rabenhorst) wrote2011-08-26 11:46 pm
[fic] Kyuhyun/Zhou Mi – SJM – Chest full of dreams, heart full of hope – Oneshot
Title: Chest full of dreams, heart full of hope
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fonulyn
Rating: PG13 (vague intercourse)
Pairing: Kyuhyun/Zhou Mi (ninjaing Kibum, Heechuland Han Geng)
Disclaimer: I own no one, only my dirty imagination.
Summary: Even the darkest cloud has a silver lining.
Comments: This is somewhat melancholy but I promise the ending is positive! I kind of just woke up with it a couple of days ago. I had this clear vision of how it should turn out and …well I’m not sure if it did. It’s a bit different from how I usually write? I hope you like it :3 Also huge thanks to my little sisterdaidetre for reading through it and telling me it’s not a complete failure ♥
When Kyuhyun is nineteen he gets into a car accident that almost ends his life.
After all the struggle and pain, the endless months in the hospital, he is left alive but hollow. He applies to a university, he gets in. He begins his studies, he gains outstanding grades. Somehow he still feels empty inside. He is alive but he doesn’t dare live. Every single day rolls by and leaves no impact, nothing. He even has a girlfriend but she dumps him two months into their relationship. Kyuhyun has no idea how she lasted that long to begin with.
When Kyuhyun is twenty-one he decides it’s enough. He hugs his mother and father and tells them not to worry. He promises to write letters, send cards, and swears he remembers their phone number in case of an emergency. He tells his sister he’s going to be fine and laughs when she hits the back of his head, grumbling that he’d better keep his word. He takes his mobile phone but he takes the battery off and packs it separate from the phone. He isn’t going to use that, not unless he absolutely needs to.
He feels a little sting in his gut when he leaves. The tears in his mother’s eyes don’t help. But he knows he needs to.
Kyuhyun rents a bed in a small hostel by the seaside. He knows he has to share the room with someone else, but it’s all he can afford and he decides he can deal with it. The room has everything he needs: a small bed, a table, a stove for cooking and even a tiny fridge in the corner for food. The sheets are clean and the light green colour reminds him of the preschool he used to go to. There are big sunflowers on the curtains and somehow it makes him smile, even if he soon forgets it and the curtains blend to the rest of the room.
His first roommate is a silent boy not much older than himself. He introduces himself as Kibum and they shake hands. Kibum is aspiring to be an actor and claims this is how he learns his roles the best. He spends his days sitting on his bed or outside in the shadow of the large trees, reading the script and mouthing words to himself. Sometimes he eats dinner at the same time as Kyuhyun does, but even then they don’t speak much. Kibum sits across the table from him and slurps down his noodles, still focused on the worn papers in front of him. Kyuhyun doesn’t want to bother him.
Mostly, Kyuhyun spends time outside. He takes long walks along the shore, enjoying the way the cool wind clears his mind. He splashes water as he walks in knee-deep, smiling at the small fishes that try to nibble on his toes. Sometimes he imagines how it’d be to walk, just walk, into the ocean and never come back. He never tries.
Kibum leaves after a week. He thanks Kyuhyun for the company and Kyuhyun thinks he is in fact thanking him for the silence. They shake hands, just like when they met, and then the extra bed is empty. For two nights.
His next roommate is obnoxious and loud. He introduces himself as Heechul and orders Kyuhyun to bring him coffee. Kyuhyun doesn’t know why, but he does. Heechul tells him he’s an idiot, but he is smiling when he says that so it almost feels like a compliment. Heechul likes to talk, Kyuhyun doesn’t mind listening. Half the time he has no idea what the other man is talking about but he doesn’t really even care, it’s like having the radio on to keep you company in the background. And Heechul doesn’t mind if he doesn’t listen to all of it.
Kyuhyun still spends endless hours outside by the sea, walking down the shoreline. He listens to the sounds of the waves hitting the rocks, the shrieking of birds and the whispers of the wind. The sand is hot underneath his bare feet but he likes it and just digs his toes in deeper. It almost makes him feel alive. He climbs on the rocks, balances not to fall into water. The sun warms his face and when he closes his eyes he can almost imagine the world like it was before this all began.
It’s the third day of his second week there when he meets Zhou Mi. Zhou Mi is Chinese and his Korean is like singing, slightly stilted words spoken in a tone both unfamiliar and familiar. It’s almost comforting and Kyuhyun doesn’t resist when Zhou Mi makes him sit down on the sand next to him and talks his ears off. It’s different from Heechul talking. While Heechul is loud and brash, Zhou Mi is enthusiastic and colourful, painting worlds with his words. He tells about things he’s seen, things he’s heard of. It almost feels like they walked along the Great Wall of China together.
Zhou Mi is travelling with a friend of his, also Chinese, and they will stay here for a full month. At least, Zhou Mi adds, it could become more if we like it! Turns out he doesn’t have a plan, not a plan for this holiday and not a plan for his life. Kyuhyun suspects there’s a reason behind all that but he never asks. A part of him is irrationally afraid that if he asks, Zhou Mi will leave and never come back. He doesn’t even know why it’s such a terrifying thought.
It becomes a daily routine for them. Kyuhyun walks further from the buildings into the almost hidden bay and sometimes Zhou Mi is waiting for him there, sometimes he waits for Zhou Mi instead. Sometimes they talk, sometimes they sit in comfortable silence. Sometimes they just gaze at the horizon. Kyuhyun realizes that Zhou Mi’s voice warms him like the sun warms his face. Maybe, in a sense, Zhou Mi is the sun.
With time, Kyuhyun notices he is happier. He feels light, as if someone lifted a weight off his chest and allowed him to breathe freely again. He doesn’t quite know why, but it’s enough to know it happens. He is smiling much more, and Heechul tells him he looks dumb, while smiling right back at him. Heechul also demands to meet Zhou Mi, but Kyuhyun doesn’t want to bring him to their secret spot. He arranges a meeting for them and Zhou Mi’s friend one evening. The dinner is a success, says Heechul.
Sometimes when waiting for Zhou Mi, Kyuhyun hums to himself, even sings lowly to let the words disappear in the wind. It almost feels like sending messages to faraway lands, encrypted codes no one might ever hear. He doesn’t notice anyone approaching him, not before Zhou Mi sits down right next to him. Abruptly he stops, but Zhou Mi leans his head on his shoulder and tells him to go on, please, and how could he say no?
Kyuhyun sings, Zhou Mi listens. This also becomes a routine.
Once, Kyuhyun asks Zhou Mi to sing for him in turn. I can’t, Zhou Mi smiles at him sadly, not yet at least. Kyuhyun doesn’t ask, Zhou Mi tells him anyway. He tells a story about a child full of hope, a child who always wanted to sing on stage in front of thousands of people. A story about a boy practicing, working hard to fill the requirements. A story that ends when a young man’s vocal cords are broken beyond repair. There are promises of miraculous remedies but thus far nothing has worked. Zhou Mi still holds on to the glimmer of hope.
Even talking hurts, Zhou Mi admits. Why do you talk so much then, Kyuhyun asks.
Zhou Mi smiles, because I love talking. It might sound a little silly but it’s spoken with honesty, with a smile that reaches all the way to his eyes. After a few minutes, he adds a with you, his lips warm and soft against Kyuhyun’s. It is then that Kyuhyun thinks he realizes something important. At least he knows what he wants now, and slides his fingers into Zhou Mi’s silky hair to pull him in for another kiss.
The next morning Kyuhyun wakes up to find Zhou Mi sitting on Heechul’s bed. It takes him a moment to clear his mind and realize how suspicious everything looks, with Heechul’s belongings missing along with him. There is also a huge suitcase next to the bed that definitely wasn’t there before. He also knows for a fact he went to bed alone last night. He rubs his sleepy eyes as he sits up, his hair the very definition of chaos.
I bribed Heechul! Zhou Mi announces happily when Kyuhyun turns to look at him questioningly. It turns out that Heechul hadn’t quite minded switching rooms with Zhou Mi, cackling something about finally getting a roommate worth looking at. It might’ve offended Kyuhyun a little, but Zhou Mi is smiling so much he can’t stop his heart from skipping a beat. Reluctantly he admits he is way too happy to be sharing a room with Zhou Mi instead.
Everything feels natural. Like it’s how things have always been. Like it’s how things are supposed to be.
Some mornings, Zhou Mi wakes Kyuhyun up at ungodly hours to drag him out to watch the sunrise. Kyuhyun grumbles but follows him anyway, with a blanket to snuggle under. Some mornings, Zhou Mi sleeps through the noise of Kyuhyun preparing burnt toast and strong coffee for breakfast, only waking up when Kyuhyun practically jumps on him. He chokes down the charcoal disguised as bread with a smile and Kyuhyun feels marginally sorry for him.
Zhou Mi also pesters Kyuhyun about everything: his hair, his skin, his posture… He gives hints for good skincare products and he tries to convince Kyuhyun to dye his hair. When Kyuhyun points out his own hair is plain black too, Zhou Mi just smiles at him happily It wasn’t always black! Kyuhyun kind of wants to ask if he can see pictures of that, but he doubts Zhou Mi carries old self-portraits with him. Then again, he might.
They have juvenile tickle wars in the middle of the night, their beds pushed next to one another to make a double bed. The wooden frames dig painfully into Kyuhyun’s hip the first night they try to sleep on it and they end up sleeping in one of the beds instead. It might be small, but they don’t need much space. Not when they’re lying half on top of each other anyway.
Some nights, Kyuhyun holds Zhou Mi close and sings him to sleep. Zhou Mi likes it best when he can rest his head on Kyuhyun’s shoulder and bury his nose in his neck. Usually Kyuhyun lets him, even if he grumbles and whines about it just a little. He has his pride to maintain.
One morning Kyuhyun wakes Zhou Mi up to surprise him. Zhou Mi ends up hitting him with a pillow and screaming bloody murder before he realizes it’s Kyuhyun. Only with platinum blond hair. Zhou Mi laughs and grabs Kyuhyun into a tight hug. It makes Kyuhyun think that the hours spent sneaking around with the hairdye were well worth it in the end.
The day comes when Kyuhyun’s stay in the hostel ends. They spend the last evening where they first met, sitting side by side and gazing into the sky. They talk, but neither of them touches the topic of leaving. Not now. Only when it’s pitch black outside they stumble back towards their room. Kyuhyun can’t even wait until they get inside and pushes Zhou Mi against the wall right next to the door. He kisses Zhou Mi, tries to show him what he never said in words.
They make love on the crumpled sheets, in the dark room illuminated only by the moonlight seeping through the gap in the curtains. Kyuhyun tries to imprint every detail of Zhou Mi into his memory, every plane and angle, every soft ticklish spot. He can’t get enough of Zhou Mi’s breathy laughter, kissing it off his lips only to bring it right back.
It’s skin on skin, sweat beading on Kyuhyun’s forehead from the effort and it makes them both laugh once again. Kyuhyun never experienced anything like this. It’s like they’re comfortable enough in each other’s company to just let go. Their long legs tangle as they move together, exchange feverish kisses that taste of bitter tea from earlier. Kyuhyun licks a path up from Zhou Mi’s collarbone to his chin and purrs against his lips. When he finally joins their bodies in a slow slide, the world stands still. For a second, their breathing stops. Everything stops. Then they simply drown in each other. And it feels like a lifetime.
They sleep tangled together. Kyuhyun might even drool on Zhou Mi’s shoulder, just a little.
In the morning, they go back home. Together.
---
2185 words
Uhm. I’m not sure how I feel about this. It was just one of these things that poured out, you know? There was nothing I could do, I swear. It just wrote itself. adniknoglkng I'll shut up now.
And wth why is lj's post-box suddenly different? D: Not sure if I like.
Feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive. And requests.
Author:
fonulynRating: PG13 (vague intercourse)
Pairing: Kyuhyun/Zhou Mi (ninjaing Kibum, Heechul
Disclaimer: I own no one, only my dirty imagination.
Summary: Even the darkest cloud has a silver lining.
Comments: This is somewhat melancholy but I promise the ending is positive! I kind of just woke up with it a couple of days ago. I had this clear vision of how it should turn out and …well I’m not sure if it did. It’s a bit different from how I usually write? I hope you like it :3 Also huge thanks to my little sister
daidetre for reading through it and telling me it’s not a complete failure ♥ When Kyuhyun is nineteen he gets into a car accident that almost ends his life.
After all the struggle and pain, the endless months in the hospital, he is left alive but hollow. He applies to a university, he gets in. He begins his studies, he gains outstanding grades. Somehow he still feels empty inside. He is alive but he doesn’t dare live. Every single day rolls by and leaves no impact, nothing. He even has a girlfriend but she dumps him two months into their relationship. Kyuhyun has no idea how she lasted that long to begin with.
When Kyuhyun is twenty-one he decides it’s enough. He hugs his mother and father and tells them not to worry. He promises to write letters, send cards, and swears he remembers their phone number in case of an emergency. He tells his sister he’s going to be fine and laughs when she hits the back of his head, grumbling that he’d better keep his word. He takes his mobile phone but he takes the battery off and packs it separate from the phone. He isn’t going to use that, not unless he absolutely needs to.
He feels a little sting in his gut when he leaves. The tears in his mother’s eyes don’t help. But he knows he needs to.
Kyuhyun rents a bed in a small hostel by the seaside. He knows he has to share the room with someone else, but it’s all he can afford and he decides he can deal with it. The room has everything he needs: a small bed, a table, a stove for cooking and even a tiny fridge in the corner for food. The sheets are clean and the light green colour reminds him of the preschool he used to go to. There are big sunflowers on the curtains and somehow it makes him smile, even if he soon forgets it and the curtains blend to the rest of the room.
His first roommate is a silent boy not much older than himself. He introduces himself as Kibum and they shake hands. Kibum is aspiring to be an actor and claims this is how he learns his roles the best. He spends his days sitting on his bed or outside in the shadow of the large trees, reading the script and mouthing words to himself. Sometimes he eats dinner at the same time as Kyuhyun does, but even then they don’t speak much. Kibum sits across the table from him and slurps down his noodles, still focused on the worn papers in front of him. Kyuhyun doesn’t want to bother him.
Mostly, Kyuhyun spends time outside. He takes long walks along the shore, enjoying the way the cool wind clears his mind. He splashes water as he walks in knee-deep, smiling at the small fishes that try to nibble on his toes. Sometimes he imagines how it’d be to walk, just walk, into the ocean and never come back. He never tries.
Kibum leaves after a week. He thanks Kyuhyun for the company and Kyuhyun thinks he is in fact thanking him for the silence. They shake hands, just like when they met, and then the extra bed is empty. For two nights.
His next roommate is obnoxious and loud. He introduces himself as Heechul and orders Kyuhyun to bring him coffee. Kyuhyun doesn’t know why, but he does. Heechul tells him he’s an idiot, but he is smiling when he says that so it almost feels like a compliment. Heechul likes to talk, Kyuhyun doesn’t mind listening. Half the time he has no idea what the other man is talking about but he doesn’t really even care, it’s like having the radio on to keep you company in the background. And Heechul doesn’t mind if he doesn’t listen to all of it.
Kyuhyun still spends endless hours outside by the sea, walking down the shoreline. He listens to the sounds of the waves hitting the rocks, the shrieking of birds and the whispers of the wind. The sand is hot underneath his bare feet but he likes it and just digs his toes in deeper. It almost makes him feel alive. He climbs on the rocks, balances not to fall into water. The sun warms his face and when he closes his eyes he can almost imagine the world like it was before this all began.
It’s the third day of his second week there when he meets Zhou Mi. Zhou Mi is Chinese and his Korean is like singing, slightly stilted words spoken in a tone both unfamiliar and familiar. It’s almost comforting and Kyuhyun doesn’t resist when Zhou Mi makes him sit down on the sand next to him and talks his ears off. It’s different from Heechul talking. While Heechul is loud and brash, Zhou Mi is enthusiastic and colourful, painting worlds with his words. He tells about things he’s seen, things he’s heard of. It almost feels like they walked along the Great Wall of China together.
Zhou Mi is travelling with a friend of his, also Chinese, and they will stay here for a full month. At least, Zhou Mi adds, it could become more if we like it! Turns out he doesn’t have a plan, not a plan for this holiday and not a plan for his life. Kyuhyun suspects there’s a reason behind all that but he never asks. A part of him is irrationally afraid that if he asks, Zhou Mi will leave and never come back. He doesn’t even know why it’s such a terrifying thought.
It becomes a daily routine for them. Kyuhyun walks further from the buildings into the almost hidden bay and sometimes Zhou Mi is waiting for him there, sometimes he waits for Zhou Mi instead. Sometimes they talk, sometimes they sit in comfortable silence. Sometimes they just gaze at the horizon. Kyuhyun realizes that Zhou Mi’s voice warms him like the sun warms his face. Maybe, in a sense, Zhou Mi is the sun.
With time, Kyuhyun notices he is happier. He feels light, as if someone lifted a weight off his chest and allowed him to breathe freely again. He doesn’t quite know why, but it’s enough to know it happens. He is smiling much more, and Heechul tells him he looks dumb, while smiling right back at him. Heechul also demands to meet Zhou Mi, but Kyuhyun doesn’t want to bring him to their secret spot. He arranges a meeting for them and Zhou Mi’s friend one evening. The dinner is a success, says Heechul.
Sometimes when waiting for Zhou Mi, Kyuhyun hums to himself, even sings lowly to let the words disappear in the wind. It almost feels like sending messages to faraway lands, encrypted codes no one might ever hear. He doesn’t notice anyone approaching him, not before Zhou Mi sits down right next to him. Abruptly he stops, but Zhou Mi leans his head on his shoulder and tells him to go on, please, and how could he say no?
Kyuhyun sings, Zhou Mi listens. This also becomes a routine.
Once, Kyuhyun asks Zhou Mi to sing for him in turn. I can’t, Zhou Mi smiles at him sadly, not yet at least. Kyuhyun doesn’t ask, Zhou Mi tells him anyway. He tells a story about a child full of hope, a child who always wanted to sing on stage in front of thousands of people. A story about a boy practicing, working hard to fill the requirements. A story that ends when a young man’s vocal cords are broken beyond repair. There are promises of miraculous remedies but thus far nothing has worked. Zhou Mi still holds on to the glimmer of hope.
Even talking hurts, Zhou Mi admits. Why do you talk so much then, Kyuhyun asks.
Zhou Mi smiles, because I love talking. It might sound a little silly but it’s spoken with honesty, with a smile that reaches all the way to his eyes. After a few minutes, he adds a with you, his lips warm and soft against Kyuhyun’s. It is then that Kyuhyun thinks he realizes something important. At least he knows what he wants now, and slides his fingers into Zhou Mi’s silky hair to pull him in for another kiss.
The next morning Kyuhyun wakes up to find Zhou Mi sitting on Heechul’s bed. It takes him a moment to clear his mind and realize how suspicious everything looks, with Heechul’s belongings missing along with him. There is also a huge suitcase next to the bed that definitely wasn’t there before. He also knows for a fact he went to bed alone last night. He rubs his sleepy eyes as he sits up, his hair the very definition of chaos.
I bribed Heechul! Zhou Mi announces happily when Kyuhyun turns to look at him questioningly. It turns out that Heechul hadn’t quite minded switching rooms with Zhou Mi, cackling something about finally getting a roommate worth looking at. It might’ve offended Kyuhyun a little, but Zhou Mi is smiling so much he can’t stop his heart from skipping a beat. Reluctantly he admits he is way too happy to be sharing a room with Zhou Mi instead.
Everything feels natural. Like it’s how things have always been. Like it’s how things are supposed to be.
Some mornings, Zhou Mi wakes Kyuhyun up at ungodly hours to drag him out to watch the sunrise. Kyuhyun grumbles but follows him anyway, with a blanket to snuggle under. Some mornings, Zhou Mi sleeps through the noise of Kyuhyun preparing burnt toast and strong coffee for breakfast, only waking up when Kyuhyun practically jumps on him. He chokes down the charcoal disguised as bread with a smile and Kyuhyun feels marginally sorry for him.
Zhou Mi also pesters Kyuhyun about everything: his hair, his skin, his posture… He gives hints for good skincare products and he tries to convince Kyuhyun to dye his hair. When Kyuhyun points out his own hair is plain black too, Zhou Mi just smiles at him happily It wasn’t always black! Kyuhyun kind of wants to ask if he can see pictures of that, but he doubts Zhou Mi carries old self-portraits with him. Then again, he might.
They have juvenile tickle wars in the middle of the night, their beds pushed next to one another to make a double bed. The wooden frames dig painfully into Kyuhyun’s hip the first night they try to sleep on it and they end up sleeping in one of the beds instead. It might be small, but they don’t need much space. Not when they’re lying half on top of each other anyway.
Some nights, Kyuhyun holds Zhou Mi close and sings him to sleep. Zhou Mi likes it best when he can rest his head on Kyuhyun’s shoulder and bury his nose in his neck. Usually Kyuhyun lets him, even if he grumbles and whines about it just a little. He has his pride to maintain.
One morning Kyuhyun wakes Zhou Mi up to surprise him. Zhou Mi ends up hitting him with a pillow and screaming bloody murder before he realizes it’s Kyuhyun. Only with platinum blond hair. Zhou Mi laughs and grabs Kyuhyun into a tight hug. It makes Kyuhyun think that the hours spent sneaking around with the hairdye were well worth it in the end.
The day comes when Kyuhyun’s stay in the hostel ends. They spend the last evening where they first met, sitting side by side and gazing into the sky. They talk, but neither of them touches the topic of leaving. Not now. Only when it’s pitch black outside they stumble back towards their room. Kyuhyun can’t even wait until they get inside and pushes Zhou Mi against the wall right next to the door. He kisses Zhou Mi, tries to show him what he never said in words.
They make love on the crumpled sheets, in the dark room illuminated only by the moonlight seeping through the gap in the curtains. Kyuhyun tries to imprint every detail of Zhou Mi into his memory, every plane and angle, every soft ticklish spot. He can’t get enough of Zhou Mi’s breathy laughter, kissing it off his lips only to bring it right back.
It’s skin on skin, sweat beading on Kyuhyun’s forehead from the effort and it makes them both laugh once again. Kyuhyun never experienced anything like this. It’s like they’re comfortable enough in each other’s company to just let go. Their long legs tangle as they move together, exchange feverish kisses that taste of bitter tea from earlier. Kyuhyun licks a path up from Zhou Mi’s collarbone to his chin and purrs against his lips. When he finally joins their bodies in a slow slide, the world stands still. For a second, their breathing stops. Everything stops. Then they simply drown in each other. And it feels like a lifetime.
They sleep tangled together. Kyuhyun might even drool on Zhou Mi’s shoulder, just a little.
In the morning, they go back home. Together.
---
2185 words
Uhm. I’m not sure how I feel about this. It was just one of these things that poured out, you know? There was nothing I could do, I swear. It just wrote itself. adniknoglkng I'll shut up now.
And wth why is lj's post-box suddenly different? D: Not sure if I like.
Feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive. And requests.