rabenhorst (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rabenhorst) wrote2011-05-06 11:11 am
rabenhorst) wrote2011-05-06 11:11 am
Entry tags:
[fic] Han Geng/Heechul – SJ – This is not the end – Oneshot
Title: This is not the end
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fonulyn
Rating: PG13
Pairing: Han Geng/Heechul (superninja!Qmi, Donghae, Siwon)
Disclaimer: I own no one, only my dirty imagination.
Summary: When everyone thought their story ended, it was really just the beginning.
Comments: Fordaidetre, again. I SWEAR IT IS NOT FULLY ANGSTY. Happy endings prevail. Also I still have issues writing Geng. He isn’t co-operating :(
When Han Geng leaves Heechul thinks his world tilts a little off balance.
It’s Donghae who holds him when he cries, Siwon who offers him silent hugs when he needs them the most, Zhou Mi who always has a smile for him and calms him with his mere presence. But it’s not the same. Something crucial is missing and no matter how much his friends try, the empty gap in his chest can not be filled. He still thinks he has the best friends in the whole wide world, already because they tolerate all the mood swings and even have the guts to put him back to his place when needed. But even world’s best friends can not replace a lost soulmate, apparently.
At first Heechul thinks it would change, that the feelings would fade until only a remembrance of a friendship would be left. Somehow fate seems to have a twisted hold on him, since that hardly happens. Instead of forgetting, he just feels more every day. It’s like the lost closeness is making him fall deeper in love. That is the stupidest thing in the whole world, he decides inwardly, it’s not like being separated into different countries suddenly makes Han Geng a mythical prince he needs to pine over.
Except he does. And there is nothing he can do about it. Heechul hates himself a little for it, spends a weekend throwing tantrums and drinking until he feels like he has to throw up his guts. He knows he can’t go on like that forever, though, and suddenly goes for the exact opposite. He doesn’t even touch any intoxicating substances, burying his temper until he appears almost lethargic.
It gets easier, with time. At one point he realizes he has fallen into the routine and even enjoys what he does again, more every day.
Still, he is no less in love.
At first they break off contact completely but after a couple of months they exchange the first tentative emails. The emails are followed by other messages and finally they smoothly go over to phone calls. They call each other at the most random times, sometimes even in the middle of the night and the calls vary from two-minute greetings to several hour long ones that leave them lacking sleep.
They call, but never meet. And they never really say what they want to. The calls are filled with mundane topics and exchanging news about common friends, babbling about everything and nothing. They get really good at avoiding the most important things. They never talk about what they feel.
At first the phone calls calm Heechul down. Slowly, they begin to gnaw at him.
Again, Heechul is grateful for his friends. Whenever he gets into one of his funks and starts to get overly bitchy, one of them drags him out. Usually it’s shopping with Zhou Mi (with Kyuhyun as the obligatory attachment) and while a part of him enjoys squealing over the latest fashion trends with his Seasoning, another part finds their excursions slightly depressing. He would have to be blind not to see the deep sparkle in Kyuhyun’s eyes when he looks at Zhou Mi practically burst in excitement over some new manbag he has found. A sparkle so similar to one he used to see in another set of eyes, directed at him.
Nevertheless, it serves to distract him. For as long as it lasts. At the end of the day it’s still Han Geng he thinks of.
They are bound to meet again, even if it takes longer than Heechul hoped it would.
When they finally meet again, years after they parted, it’s strangely anticlimactic. Although it’s a large happening with various artists, to Heechul it feels like he is back at a Super Show backstage, since all he can see is Han Geng. It’s like nothing changed, like Han Geng is just rushing off on stage for his own solo or a dance performance Heechul isn’t a part of. They exchange tentative smiles and their conversation can be summed up in “hi” and “hi”. There is no more to it.
The real climax of the story comes later. Years later.
As much as Heechul always wished for Han Geng to end up on his doorstep, he never thought it would actually happen. But there he is, standing in the doorway, looking a little awkward. His “May I come in?” is whispered in slightly awkward Korean and Heechul just steps aside, hiding the way his heart clenches at that. He can be a good host if he wants to, and he still remembers how Han Geng wants his tea, even after all this time.
This is what the whole story has been building up to. From the moment they met, from the first time their eyes met and they exchanged polite greetings. Through the first time they hugged, the first tentative kiss, the first time they got so drunk together they didn’t even remember their names. There are a lot of firsts in their past, decorating the path they’ve walked.
Now is the time for the seconds.
“I miss you” Han Geng smiles over the rim of his tea cup. The words hold so much meaning to them, and they both know it. They miss each other in so many ways, some of them impossible to put into words. The bond between has been stretched so thin and now that they are here, face to face with only the kitchen table in between, it feels like some of the strain is fading.
Heechul returns the smile. It reaches up to his eyes, and he means it. “Then why did you wait so long. Idiot.” It’s a question but he doesn’t expect an answer. Even the insult gets drowned in the gentle tone of his voice. His head hurts and his heart still aches but the tension is seeping off him and there is a familiar stir deep in his chest.
Later in the night Heechul still can’t sleep. He lies in bed wide awake, staring at the ceiling, like he has done so many times these past months, years. But there is a warm hand resting on his hip, breath tickling his shoulder. He doesn’t feel empty anymore. And he doesn’t fight the smile that creeps up on his lips.
Heechul knows it will not be like this from now on. There won’t be regular nights falling asleep in each other’s arms, they won’t have every morning together and they will not be able to carefully build a domestic life. They still have their separate ways, separate careers, separate lives.
But the phone calls get more frequent. Han Geng shows up on his doorstep more often. He actually considers returning the favour.
It’s Donghae who first notices the change. “You seem happier,” he tells Heechul in a short gap between two interviews and hugs him tight. Heechul struggles for a second but Donghae has never been one to take protests, he simply does what he wants and gives hugs when he thinks they are called for. Secretly Heechul enjoys it and slowly sinks into the warm embrace when Donghae whispers softly in his ear “I’m glad.”
Distance still hurts. But it’s only a dull ache on the edges of his heart, getting easier to bear each time they manage to steal a moment together.
It’s worth it.
---
1234 words.(yay! the little mathematician in me that is fascinated by numbers is very happy about this coincidence 8D)
So. I hope you like itdaidetre. You’d better, since I only write these two for you XD
I just realized it seems like I’m awfully productive, posting several fics during such a short time span. I’m really not, I just finished so many short short drabbley fics that I had almost-done for ages XD
I still suck at titles and summaries \o/and I am apparently in a babbly mood today
Feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive.
Author:
fonulynRating: PG13
Pairing: Han Geng/Heechul (superninja!Qmi, Donghae, Siwon)
Disclaimer: I own no one, only my dirty imagination.
Summary: When everyone thought their story ended, it was really just the beginning.
Comments: For
daidetre, again. I SWEAR IT IS NOT FULLY ANGSTY. Happy endings prevail. Also I still have issues writing Geng. He isn’t co-operating :(When Han Geng leaves Heechul thinks his world tilts a little off balance.
It’s Donghae who holds him when he cries, Siwon who offers him silent hugs when he needs them the most, Zhou Mi who always has a smile for him and calms him with his mere presence. But it’s not the same. Something crucial is missing and no matter how much his friends try, the empty gap in his chest can not be filled. He still thinks he has the best friends in the whole wide world, already because they tolerate all the mood swings and even have the guts to put him back to his place when needed. But even world’s best friends can not replace a lost soulmate, apparently.
At first Heechul thinks it would change, that the feelings would fade until only a remembrance of a friendship would be left. Somehow fate seems to have a twisted hold on him, since that hardly happens. Instead of forgetting, he just feels more every day. It’s like the lost closeness is making him fall deeper in love. That is the stupidest thing in the whole world, he decides inwardly, it’s not like being separated into different countries suddenly makes Han Geng a mythical prince he needs to pine over.
Except he does. And there is nothing he can do about it. Heechul hates himself a little for it, spends a weekend throwing tantrums and drinking until he feels like he has to throw up his guts. He knows he can’t go on like that forever, though, and suddenly goes for the exact opposite. He doesn’t even touch any intoxicating substances, burying his temper until he appears almost lethargic.
It gets easier, with time. At one point he realizes he has fallen into the routine and even enjoys what he does again, more every day.
Still, he is no less in love.
At first they break off contact completely but after a couple of months they exchange the first tentative emails. The emails are followed by other messages and finally they smoothly go over to phone calls. They call each other at the most random times, sometimes even in the middle of the night and the calls vary from two-minute greetings to several hour long ones that leave them lacking sleep.
They call, but never meet. And they never really say what they want to. The calls are filled with mundane topics and exchanging news about common friends, babbling about everything and nothing. They get really good at avoiding the most important things. They never talk about what they feel.
At first the phone calls calm Heechul down. Slowly, they begin to gnaw at him.
Again, Heechul is grateful for his friends. Whenever he gets into one of his funks and starts to get overly bitchy, one of them drags him out. Usually it’s shopping with Zhou Mi (with Kyuhyun as the obligatory attachment) and while a part of him enjoys squealing over the latest fashion trends with his Seasoning, another part finds their excursions slightly depressing. He would have to be blind not to see the deep sparkle in Kyuhyun’s eyes when he looks at Zhou Mi practically burst in excitement over some new manbag he has found. A sparkle so similar to one he used to see in another set of eyes, directed at him.
Nevertheless, it serves to distract him. For as long as it lasts. At the end of the day it’s still Han Geng he thinks of.
They are bound to meet again, even if it takes longer than Heechul hoped it would.
When they finally meet again, years after they parted, it’s strangely anticlimactic. Although it’s a large happening with various artists, to Heechul it feels like he is back at a Super Show backstage, since all he can see is Han Geng. It’s like nothing changed, like Han Geng is just rushing off on stage for his own solo or a dance performance Heechul isn’t a part of. They exchange tentative smiles and their conversation can be summed up in “hi” and “hi”. There is no more to it.
The real climax of the story comes later. Years later.
As much as Heechul always wished for Han Geng to end up on his doorstep, he never thought it would actually happen. But there he is, standing in the doorway, looking a little awkward. His “May I come in?” is whispered in slightly awkward Korean and Heechul just steps aside, hiding the way his heart clenches at that. He can be a good host if he wants to, and he still remembers how Han Geng wants his tea, even after all this time.
This is what the whole story has been building up to. From the moment they met, from the first time their eyes met and they exchanged polite greetings. Through the first time they hugged, the first tentative kiss, the first time they got so drunk together they didn’t even remember their names. There are a lot of firsts in their past, decorating the path they’ve walked.
Now is the time for the seconds.
“I miss you” Han Geng smiles over the rim of his tea cup. The words hold so much meaning to them, and they both know it. They miss each other in so many ways, some of them impossible to put into words. The bond between has been stretched so thin and now that they are here, face to face with only the kitchen table in between, it feels like some of the strain is fading.
Heechul returns the smile. It reaches up to his eyes, and he means it. “Then why did you wait so long. Idiot.” It’s a question but he doesn’t expect an answer. Even the insult gets drowned in the gentle tone of his voice. His head hurts and his heart still aches but the tension is seeping off him and there is a familiar stir deep in his chest.
Later in the night Heechul still can’t sleep. He lies in bed wide awake, staring at the ceiling, like he has done so many times these past months, years. But there is a warm hand resting on his hip, breath tickling his shoulder. He doesn’t feel empty anymore. And he doesn’t fight the smile that creeps up on his lips.
Heechul knows it will not be like this from now on. There won’t be regular nights falling asleep in each other’s arms, they won’t have every morning together and they will not be able to carefully build a domestic life. They still have their separate ways, separate careers, separate lives.
But the phone calls get more frequent. Han Geng shows up on his doorstep more often. He actually considers returning the favour.
It’s Donghae who first notices the change. “You seem happier,” he tells Heechul in a short gap between two interviews and hugs him tight. Heechul struggles for a second but Donghae has never been one to take protests, he simply does what he wants and gives hugs when he thinks they are called for. Secretly Heechul enjoys it and slowly sinks into the warm embrace when Donghae whispers softly in his ear “I’m glad.”
Distance still hurts. But it’s only a dull ache on the edges of his heart, getting easier to bear each time they manage to steal a moment together.
It’s worth it.
---
1234 words.
So. I hope you like it
daidetre. You’d better, since I only write these two for you XDI just realized it seems like I’m awfully productive, posting several fics during such a short time span. I’m really not, I just finished so many short short drabbley fics that I had almost-done for ages XD
I still suck at titles and summaries \o/
Feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive.