rabenhorst (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rabenhorst) wrote2010-12-31 12:21 pm
rabenhorst) wrote2010-12-31 12:21 pm
Entry tags:
(no subject)
Title: Liking Girls
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
seinen_no
Rating: PG
Pairing: Die/Kaoru
Disclaimer: The Dirus are mine and who claims something else is a blunt liar!
Summary: Taking place during the Family Values tour. Kaoru feels like Die and he are growing strangers to each other and their long years of friendship are now becoming nothing but a shadow of the past. Why is the lead-guitarist so angry when he finds Die party hard and all night long?
Comment: Okay, this really hasn't been written for the Adven calendar and as you can see (or can't XD) it's quite a bit older already. I somehow never had the heart to post it because it always felt like it's missing something, a link or so, more feeling and more structure.
However, knowing that we are running a bit short on works to post and hoping that this buys us a bit of time (one day to be exact *laughs*) so that others might get sth. finished or so, I now decided to send it in and have it posted. I hope, despite everything, that you do like it at least a bit and – if I may be so bold – I have to admit that I like the last part of this quite a lot myself somehow. So, enjoy and have a happy pre-christmas time!
Liking girls
"I'm a fucking rockstar, bitch!"
Kaoru knitted his eyebrows and stared at the redhead who was standing in the farmost corner of the room, smiling apologetically. A laptop stood on the table in front of the lead-guitarist, repeating that scene over and over until Kaoru finally switched it off.
"You're a fucking rockstar? Bitch?" the older guitarist asked in disbelief with a steeply hitched eyebrow and shook his head.
The smile on Die's face widened a bit and a slight blush crept on his cheeks. Still, he didn't dare to come closer.
"Die…" Kaoru sighed, closed his eyes and rubbed his temples with his index- and middlefingers. "Didn't I tell you not to drink too much? First this 'I like, I like' and now this."
"But I like girls and I am a fucking rockstar," came the defiant reply.
"Yeah, sure." Kaoru grunted, a hurt expression on his face which passed the redhead by unnoticed. Inwardly, the lead-guitarist's heart was cramping. For years, they had been best friends, had shared everything just like friends do. Were it years? More like centuries, ages, aeons. Since the very beginning of their visual kei times. When they had been hanging out together, drinking until either of them had to carry the other home, laughing and cheering and celebrating their friendship and life itself, when they were still young.
What happened? When had they stopped to go sightseeing together whenever they were on tour in a foreign city? When did they stop to hang out together and talk the nights to sleep, making fun of everybody who was crossing their ways?
"Kao?"
The question startled the addressed and he was brought back to reality. "What?"
"I don't understand why you're mad at me. I mean, Shin's been partying too." The look Die gave him was speaking of something different though. Was there a slight hint of worry or sadness hidden in those warm brown eyes?
"Let that be my problem." Kaoru tried to make his voice sound firm and steady although he felt like breaking. He knew it had been his dream to conquer the United States, conquer the world, his idea to play here, and when they had been invited to join the Family Values tour, he had grabbed the opportunity, thinking it would be a hell lot of fun for all of them.
It had turned out different than imagined though. Kyo was homesick and kept on complaining about the food and the typical conditions on tour that were totally different here than in Japan. Toshiya went out practically every night. His eyes had become so small due to the lack of sleep that the lead-guitarist asked himself how he was still able to see anything through them. And then there were Die and Shinya who took delight in mingling with the other bands and their members, drinking, partying and whatelse.
Kaoru didn't want to think about it, because the mere imagination that Die hooked up with a different girl each and every single day – or more night - caused his stomach to twitch and a lump in his throat. He wanted his friend for himself; wanted him to be there by his side always. Once, they had sworn to each other that nothing could break the bond of their friendship, nothing could draw them apart. But as it seemed, Kaoru was the only one who kept his part of the promise.
In the beginning, he had been glad for his friend, had taken joy in watching Die get along with everybody who crossed his way, increase his English-skills and have fun. Lately it began to affect him more though, disturbed him. He blamed the hard work, the irregular life on tour and the fact that he had to take care of everything. Above all, he got older and yearned for a certain steadiness in his life, something he could rely on. Inwardly though, he knew that he was just being selfish, not wanting to share the redhead's friendship with others.
"Kaoru...?"
Again, he had been lost in thoughts, had been dwelling in the remembrance of old times and felt the melancholy seep into him when he realized that those times were long gone. "What?" This time, he practically barked the counterquestion and caused the redhead to flinch.
"Can I go now?" There was something like fear and insecurity in the look Die gave him and he already had the hand on the doorhandle.
That was another thing that has changed. They didn't share a hotelroom anymore like they used to. Even after they had gained quite some fame within Japan, and Europe had been calling for them to come and play there, they still had shared a room almost every night. It gave touring the impression of being on a school trip and had never failed to excite the older guitarist. He had seen countless sunrises, only because he had spent the nights lying on his bed, watching the other man sleep. There was something special about the way Die slept; something innocent and pure how he managed to curl up just anywhere, close his eyes and drift off.
The clapping sound of the closing door again broke Kaoru's trail of thoughts and when he looked up, he saw that Die had left the room.
Slowly, but steadily, the lead-guitarist began to hate the whole tour and cursed himself for agreeing to it. No, actually he had been the one talking the others into the idea. Although Die had been red-hot for it instantly. After all, they had been dreaming about the US for such a long time and even spent one of their rare vacations there together. The remembrance made Kaoru smile dumbly and his eyes got a dreamy glimmer.
However, instead of fastening the bond within the band, it seemed to draw them apart from each other more and more. It made him angry to see the other bands hang out together as friends each and every single day, while they were splitting up right after the gig.
The next two days, Die and Shinya were chosen to do the meet & greet…. Needless to say that Kaoru had been the one deciding to punish them with that. It left a satisfying feeling behind to know that Die would have to sit there, shake an endless row of hands and all that with a major headache, totally hung over from the night before.
During the following days, the lead-guitarist's mood darkened considerably and he became awfully cranky. However, he still was professional enough, not carrying the term 'leader' for no reason and thus still managed to take care of business, doing some meet & greets and interviews. Despite that, he mostly spent his time in his motelroom or in a quiet corner of the tourbus that drove them from venue to venue.
It still pained him that they didn't spend time together as a band, but he pushed the feeling somewhere into the background, hid it in the farmost corner of his mind. He even was too depressed to numb his senses with alcohol and get wasted. It would've meant that he had to spend his time with the other bands and even though Die would be there too, he wouldn't really be with him in mind.
One night, the redhead managed to persuade Kaoru to come and join him and the other bands to party together. At first, Kaoru had been enthusiastic, had thought that Die really wanted to have him there. But then, once there, the younger guitarist had left him standing alone and rather joined a drinking contest.
"Wait a sec. I want to introduce you to somebody," Die said and then vanished only to never be seen again. Like a stray puppy, Kaoru was waiting for more than half an hour, but then lost patience and went to search for his friend. He found him, cheering and laughing and obviously heavily drunk already, standing in a small circle of people. Once more, Kaoru cursed the fact that his English wasn't particularly good, making joining this party less than fun as he would never know if they were laughing with or about him. After a moment of consideration, he slowly turned around and hurried away. He just didn't want to be there, didn't want to witness Die having fun without him.
Their friendship was slowly dying, decaying into nothingness, like a withering flower that had been cut off the stem. They seemed to have less and less in common; no topics to talk about since the redhead was moving on, met new people and made friends while Kaoru remained mostly for himself, feeling like he was slowly coming undone.
***
Carefully, Die opened the door, only to find Kaoru lying on the bed, neither hearing nor seeing the uninvited visitor. Loud music was bawling out of the earplugs of the lead-guitarist's mp3-player and Die instantly noticed the raw sound of Rage Against the Machine's 'Killing in the name of'. As he slowly approached the man on the bed, the song ended was replaced by Pantera's 'This love' blurted, clearly audible in the otherwise quiet room. So Kaoru seemed to be honestly pissed about something.
"Hey!" Kaoru neither flinched nor opened his eyes right away as Die touched him, but the redhead noticed that his body tensed slightly. Slowly, the lead-guitarist looked up and even slower, he removed one of the earplugs, glaring at the hand that lay on his shoulder as if it was poisoned.
"What do you want? Don't you have to be out, partying as usual?" There was defiance mixed with annoyance in Kaoru's voice and his look.
Ignoring the rejection, Die seated himself on the edge of the bed and forced a smile on his face. Of course Kaoru noticed that it was an artificial smile, more like a grimace; unnatural and the complete opposite to the otherwise stunning trademark-smile his friend had to offer usually.
"What?" Kaoru asked again, even more unfriendly this time.
"What's wrong?" Not wanting to show how much the obvious hostility affected him, the redhead kept his voice soft and the artificial smile in its place. "Why don't you come and join us?"
Swallowing the first thing that lay on his tongue, the lead-guitarist shook his head. "That's none of your business. Go out and play." He attempted to put the plug back into his ear, but was stopped by Die's hand that grabbed his wrist, his other reaching for the mp3-player to switch it off.
"Of course it's my business. I thought we were friends and I'm worried..." Reproach was resonating in his voice and the redhead didn't give the other man time to reply, going on, "You're merely a shadow of yourself lately, walking around like a zombie. I think I've been watching this long enough now and I deserve to know the reason for your brooding." The tone had changed, anger slowly winning over since all Kaoru did was to stare at him blankly.
After a few moments of oppressive silence, Die tried again. "C'mon, tell me. Don't you think you owe it to me?"
Kaoru only averted his gaze, looking down at his hands that were toying with the hem of his shirt, giving away how uncomfortable he was. He knew that he was acting like a rebellious teenager, but couldn't help it. There was his opportunity to tell his friend what was bothering him and he didn't have the heart to do it. He simply had anticipated that Die, as his best friend, knew the reason without asking. In the old days, he had always known what had been wrong with the lead-guitarist instinctively.
"Okay." The redhead shrugged, surrendering to the other man's stubbornness and stood up from the bed. "Who doesn't want, already has."
Before he had reached the door, Kaoru spoke; quiet, resigned. "I miss you." The truth, broken down to those three words that made Die stop in his movement and turn around.
"But I am right here," the younger man said the first thing that came to his mind. Puzzled and not completely understanding his friend, he walked back to the bed. Kaoru's eyes were still glued to his hands, but suddenly he looked up. "No, you're not. You are here and not here."
Sighing, Die shook his head. "I don't know what you mean."
"I mean that we never spend time together anymore, that you prefer hanging out with your new friends," Kaoru burst out. Appalled about his sudden courage, he clapped his hand on his mouth and stared at Die. Then, he shook his head. "Just forget it."
"Forget it?" The redhead didn't know what to make of his friend's confession. Sure, they had been spending less time together and now that he thought about it, it struck him. Kaoru was jealous at his new friends. He couldn't help that this awareness caused a pleasant warm feeling somewhere in his belly and made him smile. He had feared that Kaoru was seriously mad at him, but as long as he was jealous, it also meant that their friendship wasn't lost completely.
"How could I forget it?" The question was rhetorical and he added quickly. "It was you who retreated, not me. I tried to involve you, but you preferred to stay in your room."
Ready to defend himself, Kaoru opened his mouth, but was cut off by a hectic handgesture. "I'm not done yet." Despite the harshness of his words and the seriousness in the younger man's gaze, his voice was soft, almost pleading. "Kao... Can't you imagine that I missed you too? That I wanted you to have fun together with me and share this memory?" This time, the redhead gave him the time to answer and fell silent. However, Kaoru didn't know what to say. Die was right in a way. He had played the sulking, jealous child and had been avoiding the other guitarist on his side.
Again, Die sat down on the edge of the bed. "You promised to always be there for me, to be at my side and watch me."
Their eyes met, one pair looking softly and one pair staring in surprise. "No, I didn't!" The answer was meant to defend himself.
"Oh yes, you did." Die nodded heftily and a grin broke free on his lips. "And you promised to love me."
The surprised expression in Kaoru's eyes made way for a terrified one. He averted his gaze, but quickly looked back, not wanting to give away that he felt caught. The slight, almost unnoticeable blush on his cheeks didn't pass the redhead by unnoticed though.
"And when did I say that? I must've been plastered!" Kaoru still looked defiant and ready to defend himself with all that he got.
"No, you weren't," Die was grinning smugly, "Remember when I was sick with pneumonia?"
The older guitarist's eyes widened. "But you were..."
"Unconscious? Not quite. I still heard what you said." Die's grin became wider, more toothy and he fed on the other man's embarrassment.
"You heard...?" Kaoru's voice was barely a whisper and he couldn't hold the redhead's gaze, didn't understand why Die was grinning. To him it felt like the other man was mocking him. "But that was ages ago."
"More than eight years." Die got more serious, lowering his voice. "And I've been waiting."
"Waiting? For what?"
"For you to do that..." Without further explanations, Die put his hand on Kaoru's cheek, leaned forward and gave him a soft, gentle kiss. "But I figured it'll take you another eight years to gather enough courage," the redhead whispered after pulling back to look Kaoru in the eyes.
Like hypnotized, Kaoru touched his own lips, staring at his counterpart in utter shock. "But..."
"But what?"
"But you like girls."
"Yeah, I like girls," Die answered honestly. His eyes had a certain glimmer as if to emphasize the seriousness of what he was about to reveal. "But I love you."
Author:
seinen_noRating: PG
Pairing: Die/Kaoru
Disclaimer: The Dirus are mine and who claims something else is a blunt liar!
Summary: Taking place during the Family Values tour. Kaoru feels like Die and he are growing strangers to each other and their long years of friendship are now becoming nothing but a shadow of the past. Why is the lead-guitarist so angry when he finds Die party hard and all night long?
Comment: Okay, this really hasn't been written for the Adven calendar and as you can see (or can't XD) it's quite a bit older already. I somehow never had the heart to post it because it always felt like it's missing something, a link or so, more feeling and more structure.
However, knowing that we are running a bit short on works to post and hoping that this buys us a bit of time (one day to be exact *laughs*) so that others might get sth. finished or so, I now decided to send it in and have it posted. I hope, despite everything, that you do like it at least a bit and – if I may be so bold – I have to admit that I like the last part of this quite a lot myself somehow. So, enjoy and have a happy pre-christmas time!
Liking girls
"I'm a fucking rockstar, bitch!"
Kaoru knitted his eyebrows and stared at the redhead who was standing in the farmost corner of the room, smiling apologetically. A laptop stood on the table in front of the lead-guitarist, repeating that scene over and over until Kaoru finally switched it off.
"You're a fucking rockstar? Bitch?" the older guitarist asked in disbelief with a steeply hitched eyebrow and shook his head.
The smile on Die's face widened a bit and a slight blush crept on his cheeks. Still, he didn't dare to come closer.
"Die…" Kaoru sighed, closed his eyes and rubbed his temples with his index- and middlefingers. "Didn't I tell you not to drink too much? First this 'I like, I like' and now this."
"But I like girls and I am a fucking rockstar," came the defiant reply.
"Yeah, sure." Kaoru grunted, a hurt expression on his face which passed the redhead by unnoticed. Inwardly, the lead-guitarist's heart was cramping. For years, they had been best friends, had shared everything just like friends do. Were it years? More like centuries, ages, aeons. Since the very beginning of their visual kei times. When they had been hanging out together, drinking until either of them had to carry the other home, laughing and cheering and celebrating their friendship and life itself, when they were still young.
What happened? When had they stopped to go sightseeing together whenever they were on tour in a foreign city? When did they stop to hang out together and talk the nights to sleep, making fun of everybody who was crossing their ways?
"Kao?"
The question startled the addressed and he was brought back to reality. "What?"
"I don't understand why you're mad at me. I mean, Shin's been partying too." The look Die gave him was speaking of something different though. Was there a slight hint of worry or sadness hidden in those warm brown eyes?
"Let that be my problem." Kaoru tried to make his voice sound firm and steady although he felt like breaking. He knew it had been his dream to conquer the United States, conquer the world, his idea to play here, and when they had been invited to join the Family Values tour, he had grabbed the opportunity, thinking it would be a hell lot of fun for all of them.
It had turned out different than imagined though. Kyo was homesick and kept on complaining about the food and the typical conditions on tour that were totally different here than in Japan. Toshiya went out practically every night. His eyes had become so small due to the lack of sleep that the lead-guitarist asked himself how he was still able to see anything through them. And then there were Die and Shinya who took delight in mingling with the other bands and their members, drinking, partying and whatelse.
Kaoru didn't want to think about it, because the mere imagination that Die hooked up with a different girl each and every single day – or more night - caused his stomach to twitch and a lump in his throat. He wanted his friend for himself; wanted him to be there by his side always. Once, they had sworn to each other that nothing could break the bond of their friendship, nothing could draw them apart. But as it seemed, Kaoru was the only one who kept his part of the promise.
In the beginning, he had been glad for his friend, had taken joy in watching Die get along with everybody who crossed his way, increase his English-skills and have fun. Lately it began to affect him more though, disturbed him. He blamed the hard work, the irregular life on tour and the fact that he had to take care of everything. Above all, he got older and yearned for a certain steadiness in his life, something he could rely on. Inwardly though, he knew that he was just being selfish, not wanting to share the redhead's friendship with others.
"Kaoru...?"
Again, he had been lost in thoughts, had been dwelling in the remembrance of old times and felt the melancholy seep into him when he realized that those times were long gone. "What?" This time, he practically barked the counterquestion and caused the redhead to flinch.
"Can I go now?" There was something like fear and insecurity in the look Die gave him and he already had the hand on the doorhandle.
That was another thing that has changed. They didn't share a hotelroom anymore like they used to. Even after they had gained quite some fame within Japan, and Europe had been calling for them to come and play there, they still had shared a room almost every night. It gave touring the impression of being on a school trip and had never failed to excite the older guitarist. He had seen countless sunrises, only because he had spent the nights lying on his bed, watching the other man sleep. There was something special about the way Die slept; something innocent and pure how he managed to curl up just anywhere, close his eyes and drift off.
The clapping sound of the closing door again broke Kaoru's trail of thoughts and when he looked up, he saw that Die had left the room.
Slowly, but steadily, the lead-guitarist began to hate the whole tour and cursed himself for agreeing to it. No, actually he had been the one talking the others into the idea. Although Die had been red-hot for it instantly. After all, they had been dreaming about the US for such a long time and even spent one of their rare vacations there together. The remembrance made Kaoru smile dumbly and his eyes got a dreamy glimmer.
However, instead of fastening the bond within the band, it seemed to draw them apart from each other more and more. It made him angry to see the other bands hang out together as friends each and every single day, while they were splitting up right after the gig.
The next two days, Die and Shinya were chosen to do the meet & greet…. Needless to say that Kaoru had been the one deciding to punish them with that. It left a satisfying feeling behind to know that Die would have to sit there, shake an endless row of hands and all that with a major headache, totally hung over from the night before.
During the following days, the lead-guitarist's mood darkened considerably and he became awfully cranky. However, he still was professional enough, not carrying the term 'leader' for no reason and thus still managed to take care of business, doing some meet & greets and interviews. Despite that, he mostly spent his time in his motelroom or in a quiet corner of the tourbus that drove them from venue to venue.
It still pained him that they didn't spend time together as a band, but he pushed the feeling somewhere into the background, hid it in the farmost corner of his mind. He even was too depressed to numb his senses with alcohol and get wasted. It would've meant that he had to spend his time with the other bands and even though Die would be there too, he wouldn't really be with him in mind.
One night, the redhead managed to persuade Kaoru to come and join him and the other bands to party together. At first, Kaoru had been enthusiastic, had thought that Die really wanted to have him there. But then, once there, the younger guitarist had left him standing alone and rather joined a drinking contest.
"Wait a sec. I want to introduce you to somebody," Die said and then vanished only to never be seen again. Like a stray puppy, Kaoru was waiting for more than half an hour, but then lost patience and went to search for his friend. He found him, cheering and laughing and obviously heavily drunk already, standing in a small circle of people. Once more, Kaoru cursed the fact that his English wasn't particularly good, making joining this party less than fun as he would never know if they were laughing with or about him. After a moment of consideration, he slowly turned around and hurried away. He just didn't want to be there, didn't want to witness Die having fun without him.
Their friendship was slowly dying, decaying into nothingness, like a withering flower that had been cut off the stem. They seemed to have less and less in common; no topics to talk about since the redhead was moving on, met new people and made friends while Kaoru remained mostly for himself, feeling like he was slowly coming undone.
Carefully, Die opened the door, only to find Kaoru lying on the bed, neither hearing nor seeing the uninvited visitor. Loud music was bawling out of the earplugs of the lead-guitarist's mp3-player and Die instantly noticed the raw sound of Rage Against the Machine's 'Killing in the name of'. As he slowly approached the man on the bed, the song ended was replaced by Pantera's 'This love' blurted, clearly audible in the otherwise quiet room. So Kaoru seemed to be honestly pissed about something.
"Hey!" Kaoru neither flinched nor opened his eyes right away as Die touched him, but the redhead noticed that his body tensed slightly. Slowly, the lead-guitarist looked up and even slower, he removed one of the earplugs, glaring at the hand that lay on his shoulder as if it was poisoned.
"What do you want? Don't you have to be out, partying as usual?" There was defiance mixed with annoyance in Kaoru's voice and his look.
Ignoring the rejection, Die seated himself on the edge of the bed and forced a smile on his face. Of course Kaoru noticed that it was an artificial smile, more like a grimace; unnatural and the complete opposite to the otherwise stunning trademark-smile his friend had to offer usually.
"What?" Kaoru asked again, even more unfriendly this time.
"What's wrong?" Not wanting to show how much the obvious hostility affected him, the redhead kept his voice soft and the artificial smile in its place. "Why don't you come and join us?"
Swallowing the first thing that lay on his tongue, the lead-guitarist shook his head. "That's none of your business. Go out and play." He attempted to put the plug back into his ear, but was stopped by Die's hand that grabbed his wrist, his other reaching for the mp3-player to switch it off.
"Of course it's my business. I thought we were friends and I'm worried..." Reproach was resonating in his voice and the redhead didn't give the other man time to reply, going on, "You're merely a shadow of yourself lately, walking around like a zombie. I think I've been watching this long enough now and I deserve to know the reason for your brooding." The tone had changed, anger slowly winning over since all Kaoru did was to stare at him blankly.
After a few moments of oppressive silence, Die tried again. "C'mon, tell me. Don't you think you owe it to me?"
Kaoru only averted his gaze, looking down at his hands that were toying with the hem of his shirt, giving away how uncomfortable he was. He knew that he was acting like a rebellious teenager, but couldn't help it. There was his opportunity to tell his friend what was bothering him and he didn't have the heart to do it. He simply had anticipated that Die, as his best friend, knew the reason without asking. In the old days, he had always known what had been wrong with the lead-guitarist instinctively.
"Okay." The redhead shrugged, surrendering to the other man's stubbornness and stood up from the bed. "Who doesn't want, already has."
Before he had reached the door, Kaoru spoke; quiet, resigned. "I miss you." The truth, broken down to those three words that made Die stop in his movement and turn around.
"But I am right here," the younger man said the first thing that came to his mind. Puzzled and not completely understanding his friend, he walked back to the bed. Kaoru's eyes were still glued to his hands, but suddenly he looked up. "No, you're not. You are here and not here."
Sighing, Die shook his head. "I don't know what you mean."
"I mean that we never spend time together anymore, that you prefer hanging out with your new friends," Kaoru burst out. Appalled about his sudden courage, he clapped his hand on his mouth and stared at Die. Then, he shook his head. "Just forget it."
"Forget it?" The redhead didn't know what to make of his friend's confession. Sure, they had been spending less time together and now that he thought about it, it struck him. Kaoru was jealous at his new friends. He couldn't help that this awareness caused a pleasant warm feeling somewhere in his belly and made him smile. He had feared that Kaoru was seriously mad at him, but as long as he was jealous, it also meant that their friendship wasn't lost completely.
"How could I forget it?" The question was rhetorical and he added quickly. "It was you who retreated, not me. I tried to involve you, but you preferred to stay in your room."
Ready to defend himself, Kaoru opened his mouth, but was cut off by a hectic handgesture. "I'm not done yet." Despite the harshness of his words and the seriousness in the younger man's gaze, his voice was soft, almost pleading. "Kao... Can't you imagine that I missed you too? That I wanted you to have fun together with me and share this memory?" This time, the redhead gave him the time to answer and fell silent. However, Kaoru didn't know what to say. Die was right in a way. He had played the sulking, jealous child and had been avoiding the other guitarist on his side.
Again, Die sat down on the edge of the bed. "You promised to always be there for me, to be at my side and watch me."
Their eyes met, one pair looking softly and one pair staring in surprise. "No, I didn't!" The answer was meant to defend himself.
"Oh yes, you did." Die nodded heftily and a grin broke free on his lips. "And you promised to love me."
The surprised expression in Kaoru's eyes made way for a terrified one. He averted his gaze, but quickly looked back, not wanting to give away that he felt caught. The slight, almost unnoticeable blush on his cheeks didn't pass the redhead by unnoticed though.
"And when did I say that? I must've been plastered!" Kaoru still looked defiant and ready to defend himself with all that he got.
"No, you weren't," Die was grinning smugly, "Remember when I was sick with pneumonia?"
The older guitarist's eyes widened. "But you were..."
"Unconscious? Not quite. I still heard what you said." Die's grin became wider, more toothy and he fed on the other man's embarrassment.
"You heard...?" Kaoru's voice was barely a whisper and he couldn't hold the redhead's gaze, didn't understand why Die was grinning. To him it felt like the other man was mocking him. "But that was ages ago."
"More than eight years." Die got more serious, lowering his voice. "And I've been waiting."
"Waiting? For what?"
"For you to do that..." Without further explanations, Die put his hand on Kaoru's cheek, leaned forward and gave him a soft, gentle kiss. "But I figured it'll take you another eight years to gather enough courage," the redhead whispered after pulling back to look Kaoru in the eyes.
Like hypnotized, Kaoru touched his own lips, staring at his counterpart in utter shock. "But..."
"But what?"
"But you like girls."
"Yeah, I like girls," Die answered honestly. His eyes had a certain glimmer as if to emphasize the seriousness of what he was about to reveal. "But I love you."