rabenhorst (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rabenhorst) wrote2010-05-31 06:21 pm
rabenhorst) wrote2010-05-31 06:21 pm
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Never Judge a Book by its Cover, part II
Toshiya was sitting on the windowsill, smoking a cigarette while he enjoyed how the breeze caressed his face, cooled him down. He had already given up hope that Die would follow him, but when he heard the door, he turned his head and smiled instantly. "So you're not trying to hide in a hole?" he asked, his voice more quiet than usual and far softer. "Mister straight-guy..." The redhead would have to live with the teasing and if the kiss had meant anything to him, he would even understand.
"Cut it..." Die tried to aim for the normal tone but failed miserably as his voice was weak, hardly able to make it through those two words without breaking. He stopped at the other end of the room, averting his gaze as he had no idea what he should say, what he wanted to say. Hell, he didn't even know what he thought and felt right now. All he knew was that it had been too much to even think about his roommate with someone else and he had had to stop it.
Elegantly, Toshiya flicked his cigarette away and turned around, his feet dangling shortly above the floor. "Come here," he asked, but it came out more like a plea.
Obediently Die did as told. He didn't really have a choice, since it was as if gravity simply pulled him towards the other one and his feet were moving before he even noticed it. As he was standing right in front of Toshiya, he dared to look up into his eyes, his voice soft as he spoke up. "Thanks. For not going with him."
"It was never him, I wanted," the other boy gave away, shaking his head a bit. Gathering his courage, he took Die's hands in his and pulled him a bit closer still until the other one stood between his legs. "All I wanted was you and apparently, my hopes weren't in vain." The last part of the sentence was spoken with a small smile. He could feel Die's nervousness as much as his own, both of their hands being cold and sweaty. "Was it?"
The first answer was a small headshake, Die's eyes turning down again as he somehow didn't have it in him to look straight at his friend. Despite all the nervousness and confusion, he suddenly practically threw himself closer, wrapping his arms around Toshiya's waist and burying his face into his shoulder. It somehow soothed the nervousness, the other's scent surrounding him and his firm body pressed so close.
"Hey, hey," Toshiya's voice was calm, a soft chuckle escaping him. "So emotional at once?" The action had made his heart miss a beat when a sudden wave of Die's pure sent crushed down on him. "It's okay. I know you just love me. No need to say it." His voice had grown more firm, almost bore the same teasing undertone it had had before when talking to the other boy. "My offer is still on the table, you know," he remarked, trying to sound casual.
The words made Die chuckle, and he was just utterly happy that things were still so relaxed and close to normal between them. "Which of the offers? I remember quite many of those." He tilted his head a bit to look Toshiya in the eye, his voice still a bit choked but steady enough to carry properly.
First, he received a small peck on his lips, before the black-haired teen winked grinning. "Every single one." He meant it, willing to grant Die anything he wanted if only he wouldn't withdraw again and give him the cold shoulder.
"Wow," the redhead laughed softly. "You're being generous here. I was assuming you'd at least withdraw half of the offers now that I acted like a total jackass." He was smiling honestly, looking his friend straight in the eye. He was still nervous, had no idea what to do and how this would work, but still he only tightened his hold of the other teen, not wanting to let go of him.
"Oh, I do think you're a complete idiot, but I also know that you didn't act like that on purpose," Toshiya gave away winking. "So yeah, you can choose whatever you want and I will make all your dreams come true." He was still a bit nervous, but managed to cover it quite well and wrapped his arms loosely around the redhead's neck. "But of course you will have to confess that you've been wrong and I was right. And you will have to admit that I AM sexy and your perfect wet dream," he teased in the usual loving way.
"Alright, I admit it, you are fucking sexy and every guy's dream." There was a sparkle in Die's eyes, a grin dancing on his lips as he looked straight at the other teen. The look on Toshiya's face was expecting and Die knew he was waiting for the other part of what he had demanded. Still, he kept quiet for a moment before going on. "But I wasn't wrong. At the given time I was right. Which doesn't mean that things haven't changed though..."
The confession was enough to elicit a soft smile on Toshiya's lips and his heart jumped up and down in joy. Winking, he said. "Not only every guy's dream, but the girls won't get the best of me." He just couldn't help the teasing as it was in his nature. Yet, he became more serious, although his eyes were still sparkling.
"Thank God there are no girls here to compete with." The redhead laughed softly, not averting his gaze for a single moment. He felt unreal on some level, like this wasn't even happening while another part of him felt completely at ease.
"So are you going to kiss me anytime soon or shall I call in sick for the next days until you decided to make a move?" The black haired teen tilted his head, smirking impishly.
The words made Die's heart skip a beat, but his smile never faltered and he didn't seem to flinch even. Wordlessly he leaned closer, playfully hesitating a bit before initiating a slow kiss. Instantly Toshiya tightened the hold he had on the other boy's neck. This time, the kiss was far from being as raw and passionate as the one in the locker-room. It was gentle and gave both of them the opportunity to actually enjoy it, to relish the sensations it elicited inside them.
It definitely wasn't Die's first kiss, but still it felt like that as Toshiya's soft lips on his made it all new and fascinating. His other hand had found its way up, and he cupped the other boy's cheek in his palm, gently making him tilt his head a bit. The touch was like burning on Toshiya's skin. Inwardly, he was cheering as he had been right in the end; Die had been worth waiting for. He was a talented kisser and it made Toshiya's head spin, let alone that the heat was shooting back to his groin, a tingling feeling rising in his stomach. "Wow!" he breathed out after they had parted. "You... I mean... Are you sure you never kissed a guy before?"
"I'm sure." Die laughed, not pulling away his hand and otherwise staying close to the other teen as well, their faces only inches apart. "But it's not that different, if you kiss a guy or a girl."
"It is," the other boy contradicted smirking. "At least for you. You should be nervous," he stated matter-of-factly. He used his legs to pull the redhead closer to himself, purposefully closing his eyes half way which gave him a lusty expression.
That was already enough to make some of the nervousness return, and Die wasn't sure how he had been so calm until then. He tried not to let it show, only grinned and shrugged a bit. "Why? I'm not afraid of you or anything."
"Good," Toshiya purred and allowed his hands to slide from Die’s neck to his shoulders and down his chest. "Because you are making me a bit nervous," he gave away. It was true. Although he didn't look nor act like it, he couldn't help that a certain nervousness, along with some anticipation, was coursing through him. It was just because he had no idea how far Die was willing to go, how much he wanted him and WHAT exactly he wanted.
"Really?" Die arched an eyebrow, but got distracted by the other's hands on his chest and turned his gaze down to follow their movement. A small shiver ran along his spine, and he couldn't help the dry feeling in his throat, the hammering of his heart. "But shouldn't you be the experienced heartbreaker?"
"Yeah." Toshiya nodded smiling. "But it's hard when you're trying so much to get something and then suddenly have it right there in your hands, or arms." He let his palms rest on the redhead's hips, his thumbs toying with the cuff of his jeans.
For a moment the redhead kept his gaze down, like hypnotized by Toshiya's long fingers, but then finally turned to look him in the eye. "I seriously thought you were just trying to piss me off half of the time."
"I did well, didn't I?" The black haired teen raised his gaze, practically beaming. "But half of the time I didn't know what I did nor why I was so persistent. It was a lot of fun to see you so embarrassed." With a dreamy expression on his face, he went on. "But when I wore that dress, I thought I got you..."
"In a way, you did." Die confessed with a chuckle, shaking his head a bit. "It took a lot of willpower to just go to bed that night." He couldn't resist the temptation and tilted his head enough to initiate another kiss, wanting to feel his friend's lips on his again.
It made Toshiya smile. Without breaking the contact, he slowly slid off the windowsill until he was standing right in front of the other teen. Figuring that nothing would happen if he didn't take the initiative, he gently moved them towards his bed which was the closest. Yet, he didn't dare to just give Die a shove when they had reached it, but showed his motives by sliding his hands underneath his shirt to caress the smooth skin there.
Die's heart was hammering in his chest, and if it hadn't been for the kiss that grounded him to reality somewhat, he would've panicked. He just took a firm hold of Toshiya's waist, allowing himself to drop backwards on the mattress and pulling his friend with him. Inwardly, he thought that no matter how stunning Toshiya had been in the dress with full make-up on, he still preferred him like this, like he had grown to know him.
If he had said that out loud, Toshiya would have really made a victory dance. Encouraged by Die's action, he tucked the shirt out of the redhead's pants completely, pushing it up to his armpits. He was still nervous, somewhat afraid his friend could come back to his senses any second or then realize that this wasn't what he wanted, but he was yearning to feel more of his skin, to touch him and find out where he was the most sensitive. Slowly, he roamed his palms upwards from the redhead's belly over his chest, brushing across his nipples with his thumbs. First only carefully to see how the other reacted, but when nothing happened, he did it again.
It resulted in a small gasp that was drowned out in the kiss, and Die couldn't help but to shiver a bit as the feelings mixed with nervousness and anticipation, creating something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Still, he lifted his upper body from the mattress, indicating that he wanted to get rid of his shirt completely. He didn't want to stop now, couldn't stop the flow of happenings because if he did, he would panic and flee.
Instantly, Toshiya pulled the shirt over his head and discarded it somewhere to the side. He used the short break to get rid of his own as well and then bent down, running the tip of his tongue from the crook of Die's shoulder up his neck to his ear. He could feel the other boy's frantic heartbeat and somehow it was good to know that they both seemed to be equally nervous, if only for different reasons.
Instinctively Die tilted his head a bit, wanting more of the soft touch that made him shiver, made his heartbeat speed up. He still hadn't figured out how far he was willing to go, or more likely capable to go. He was willing, surely, wanted to get to know the other and explore everything of him, learn how he reacted to things.
Toshiya's heart had stopped beating, his breathing only shallow as being so close to the one he had been dreaming about for such a long time was enough to make him feel accomplished. He had closed his lips on the taut skin of Die's neck and let them travel downwards again, kissing and nibbling on the scented skin.
Neither of them had showered after physical education that day and so it was only Die's pure scent, unspoiled, closing in on him. Carefully, tentatively, he brought one of his hands to the other's lower stomach and let the fingertips slide underneath the cuff of his pants, tensing as he was waiting for a sign if he was allowed to go on or if he should stop.
Die tensed as well, but for completely different reasons. The touch was like burning on his skin, making his heartbeat speed up and the heat gather in his lower body and he found himself yearning for more. He held his breath, waiting for what would follow. As Toshiya did nothing though, he forced his eyes open, meeting his gaze straight. He still didn't say a single word, fearing his voice would fail him. He wouldn't have known what to say anyways.
The look in his eyes spoke books though and, hoping he hadn't misinterpreted it, Toshiya opened the button of the jeans and slowly slid down the zipper. He was holding his breath as his eyes followed his hand's movement and he had to swallow hard. As slowly as before, he pushed his fingers into the other boy's boxers, softly brushing through the pubes there before running it over the slight arousal he found.
The touch made Die gasp, his eyes falling shut again as he let his head drop backwards, his breath hitching in his throat. It felt unreal, the mere thought of lying in bed with his friend whose hand was making its way into his pants felt like it was ripped straight from a dream rather than from reality. He hadn't even dared to imagine this before, but even if he had he couldn't have created anything like this with the force of mere imagination. Moving his hips upwards a bit, he was silently asking Toshiya to go on, wanted more of it. Simultaneously his own hands were sliding down Toshiya's back, marveling the smoothness of the skin against his fingertips.
The moving space was limited though and after a few more tentative touches, the black-haired teen withdrew his hand to tuck down Die's pants and boxers far enough to free him. Looking up, he smiled at the redhead and coevally laced his fingers around his hardness, stroking him softly. It certainly wasn't his first time being with a guy, but this was special; Die was special to him.
The moment his pants were dragged down Die had blushed slightly as this was truly an unfamiliar territory for him and he became self-conscious in an uncomfortable way. The touch was enough to send laces of pleasure through his being though and he didn't have much time to dwell on his insecurities. His hands had reached the waistband of the other's pants, and he moved to open the button, wanting to give something in return.
Toshiya truly hadn't expected it, ready to only give Die a glimpse of what it would be like to be with him. The movement though made him stop his own actions for a second and he closed his eyes to get a hold of himself and his suddenly racing heart. Shifting a bit, he aided the other one, gave him more room to move.
Despite the frantic shaking of his hands, Die managed to open the pants swiftly, tugging them down instantly as he didn't want to be the only one exposed. Besides, he was truly yearning for something, not even knowing what himself. All he knew was that he wanted to make Toshiya feel as good as he had made him feel.
His friend allowed him to do as he wished, not embarrassed in the slightest. To him, being naked was natural as he was comfortable with his appearance, liked to be looked at. He even kicked his legs to get rid of the trousers completely and then moved to do the same to Die's, wanting him completely naked as well. When he was done, he bent down and planted a small, wet kiss on the tip of Die's arousal, not daring to go further though. Instead, he shifted to the side, pressing himself against the warm body, feeling the wonderful smooth skin, and laced his fingers around the hard flesh again, beginning where he had stopped before.
Die mewled, bucking up slightly into the touch as it felt just all too good. He turned a bit to be able to kiss the other teen again, the contact evolving into something hungry and passionate as they both wanted the most of it. Somehow seeing how naturally Toshiya took everything calmed Die down too and he didn't hesitate anymore when he brought his hand to the other's groin, mirroring the ministrations the best he managed.
That was almost too much for Toshiya and a low groan left his throat, dying somewhere in the redhead's mouth. Just knowing that he was the first to get something like that from Die caused a palpable shudder to run down his spine, not to mention the pleasure that built up quick in his lower body part. Willed on by that, he picked up the pace of his touches on the heated flesh in his palm, greedy for every small reaction.
It was hard for Die to keep control over himself, to concentrate on providing the other pleasure as his own being was rapidly being pushed higher, the feelings almost too much to handle. Still he realized somewhere in his lust-blurred brain that it was equally important for him to give as to receive and Toshiya's reactions turned him on to no end as he knew he was the reason for them.
They were lying as close as possible without limiting each other's movements too much, their limbs entangled, eyes closed and their breaths mixing whenever the current kiss broke to fill their lungs with the necessary oxygen. Shamelessly, Toshiya allowed the moans to roll freely from his throat, not caring if anybody heard them. If it were him to decide, everybody could hear how good Die made him feel.
The sounds that were resonating in the air turned Die on even more and soon he found himself trying to increase his ministrations to gain more of them, to get even more forceful reactions from the other teenager. He close to the edge already, knew he wouldn't last too long anymore and in a quick movement he buried his face in Toshiya's neck, licking and nibbling on the smooth skin, even biting down almost harshly.
Toshiya cried out, his back arching while he tilted his neck to offer even more space. Feeling the redhead's teeth on his skin, the slight pain the bite caused, only pushed him higher and although he tried hard to hold back, he couldn't stop the orgasm from overwhelming him. "Die, I'm coming!" he warned to give the other one the opportunity to withdraw. A split second later, he released himself forcefully moaning at the sensations that were spreading all over his body.
Even if Die would've wanted to pull back, his brains were already too lost in pleasure and he had no chance to react that quickly. He didn't even want to get away though. Quite the contrary, he even leaned a bit closer to the warm body beside his. It seemed to take forever, time standing still as Toshiya climaxed, his expression speaking of pure bliss. But soon it was all washed away as Die was thrown over the edge as well, his body finally reaching its limits. He screamed, burying his face in the other's skin to muffle the sound at least somewhat as pleasure took over and his muscles spasmed, his back forming an arch.
The other teen kept on stroking him until Die had nothing to give anymore and his body flagged completely. Somewhere in between, Toshiya had opened his eyes to savor the expression on his friend's face, to make sure he felt as good as he himself. Somehow, he felt the need to say something, but didn't know what and finally just settled for initiating a soft kiss, not minding their stained bodies and hands as he pressed himself closer to the warm body.
Instinctively, without giving it a single thought Die wrapped his arms around his neck to pull him closer into the kiss. He was completely out of breath but still not willing to let go of the contact. Turning to lie on his back, he pulled Toshiya almost on top of him.
The movement elicited an approving mewl from the black-haired teen and he allowed his eyes to flutter shut. Somewhere in the back of his skull he was afraid that the magical moment would be over soon and that they would have to talk about the just happened. For the time being though, he only enjoyed the kiss and how they were so close to each other.
Die noticed that he actually enjoyed having Toshiya's weight on him and shifted a bit until he was lying completely underneath him. They took their time with the kiss, but it had to break eventually. Still, they stayed close to each other, their noses touching and their eyes shut.
It was heavenly bliss for both of them and neither made a move to get away nor to speak up. This was somewhat new to Toshiya, that he felt so safe in somebody else's arms, that a simple gesture like an embrace touched him so deeply. He had always been the kind to fall in love easily, but this was different from his, usually very short, flings.
Die would've thought that a moment like this would feel somehow out of place. Especially since he had never shared anything even close to this with someone of his own gender. None of that mattered right now though as he was surprisingly calm, only this small tingling feeling in the pit of his stomach making him happy, even slightly bouncy. Absent mindedly he was toying with the short hair in the back of Toshiya's head.
Finally, the black-haired teen buried his face in the crook of Die's shoulder and closed his eyes. The soft touches made him release a deep, content sigh. He knew how special it was to get something like that from somebody who wasn't used to sharing intimate moments with another man nor to exchange touches and loving gestures with him. It made it even more special and a soft smile tugged the corners of his mouth.
"Are you cold?" Die cursed inwardly since it sounded so dumb when he said it out loud, but he had meant it honestly, thinking that Toshiya could be more comfortable if they took a blanket to cover them. Why was it so hard to begin to talk again? The silence was so much more comfortable, but he knew they would need to talk.
"Am not." Toshiya lifted his head and smiled. He noticed how hard it was to talk to each other, not only for the redhead but for him as well. "Are you then? Or am I too heavy?" Usually, he would have already jumped up and covered both of them with a blanket, but there was something in Die that soothed his bounciness, that made an inner calmness spread all over his being.
"No, you're not too heavy. And you're technically a blanket to me so I'm not cold either." Die chuckled, tilting his head a bit to the side as he smiled at the other teenager. Somehow he was able to forget the slight insecurity, and tilted his head to steal a small, soft kiss from the other one.
"I asked Ryo to go and watch a movie with me today," Toshiya burst out after they had parted again, not knowing how to put his feelings into words, but still thinking he owed the redhead the truth. "I never considered doing anything else with him..."
"You what!?" Die's eyes widened and he looked surprised for a moment. "So it was all just to get me into bed?! You bastard!" Despite his words he was chuckling, and the hit he aimed at Toshiya's shoulder was purposefully weak.
"No, not really," Toshiya shook his head and then grinned as well. "Maybe that was one of the reasons. But after you kissed me good night, I simply HAD to know if you have feelings for me. So I used the old trick and tried to make you jealous," he confessed. "You're not mad?"
"No," Die shook his head, answering honestly. "Or I am, but I don't care about it right now." He chuckled, his eyes sparkling. Somehow it was even flattering that the other teen had wanted him enough to do all these things.
"I hope you won't care about it later too," the Toshiya stated winking. For a moment, he looked Die deep in the eyes and then stole a short kiss, like reassuring himself that he really wasn't mad. Still, he had to ask something else. "Was it worth to forget that you're straight?"
"Hmm.." Die made a pondering noise, pursed his lips thoughtfully and turned his eyes to measure the ceiling. "I don't know." He worked hard to cover his grin, even managed.
"Whaddaya mean, you don't know?" Toshiya missed the teasing undertone completely and stared at the other boy in shock. "Not good enough? I told you, you can choose between my offers, but then we would still stand at the window and look at each other unmoving..."
"You will just have to work hard in the future." The redhead nodded, looking at his friend from huge, innocent eyes. "To convince me it was worth it." Inwardly he was laughing, thinking that if he managed to fool Toshiya this well he should've joined drama-class too.
"Bastard!" Only then Toshiya noticed the impish glimmer in Die's eyes and slapped his head playfully, a beautiful pout appearing on his lips. Then, he was smiling again though, nodding. "I will do my best in the future to convince you." Hearing that Die wasn't against getting intimate again made his heart bounce up and down in his chest and he felt like hugging the whole world.
"Good," Die was practically purring, the smile breaking free as he didn't want to hold it back anymore and rather let his good mood show. "But yeah... it was worth it I think."
"You think?!?" Again, Toshiya pouted, lifted his upper body a bit and pointed at himself. "You got all this and you 'think'?"
"No, I definitely didn't think. Not a moment ago," the redhead answered instantly.
"Oh, but you were thinking." At a moment's notice, the seductive Toshiya was back and he leaned down to nibble the other boy's neck, using his tongue as much as his teeth. "Only with the lower part of your body..."
"I wouldn't call that thinking..." Die purred, closing his eyes and enjoying the feelings to no end.
"But it is. It's the primal way to think," Toshiya contradicted, only leaving the redhead's skin for as long as it took to utter the words.
"Whatever. Let's then say that my brains weren't functioning anyways." The redhead shrugged, not able to get rid of the silly grin on his face.
"You were so needy, admit it. After I caught you jerking off, you never dared to do anything about it, did you?" The black haired teen asked curiously, but stayed where he was without lifting his head.
"I'm not going to tell you anything. You're such a sneaky bastard. Just be happy that you now got what you wanted." Suddenly Die hugged him a bit tighter for a moment, simply wanting to somehow show him he did care.
It had the wished effect as the gesture caused a warm feeling inside Toshiya's stomach and the words caused him to shut up about the topic. They remained silent for a few moments before the black-haired teen spoke up again. "Die?"
"Yeah?" Die opened one eye, tilting his head and looking at the other one questioningly. He was too lazy to react otherwise though.
"Will you stay the night?" It was clear that Toshiya had meant if Die would be willing to sleep in one bed with him. After everything that had happened, he wasn't sure if he would need some time for himself.
"If you want me to," the redhead answered honestly. Truth to be told, he had been hoping for that question to come as he really wanted to stay close to Toshiya right now and enjoy the shared warmth. Somehow it soothed him, made him feel more secure and safe to have the other one near.
"Of course." Toshiya smiled widely and finally managed to move again, reaching for the blanket to cover their naked forms. It made him happy to hear that Die would stay with him, because he felt the desperate need to cuddle with him and hold him as much as he was hoping to be held.
Once they were both under the blanket Die instantly snuggled a bit closer, seeking for skin on skin contact. He didn't know himself like this, hadn't acted like this ever before, but still it felt all strangely natural. It was an effect Toshiya had on him, as he wanted to be closer right now. He had the feeling he should say something, but in the end he didn't know what, and remained silent.
It was a comfortable silence and for once in his life the bouncy black-haired boy didn't feel the urge to babble about something. He was simply content by resting against the other one, pillowing his head on his chest and listening to the regularly beating heart underneath his ear.
That was how they fell asleep in the end, their limbs tangled together and both holding on to the closeness even in their sleep. Only in the early morning hours Die stirred the first time, for a while wondering where he was before the happenings of the previous day came back into his mind. Like naturally he sneaked one arm around the other teen's waist, resting his head on his shoulder carefully, not to wake him up. There was no need to fear that though because Toshiya had always been a deep sleeper. Still, a soft sigh escaped him and he rolled closer to the heat source subconsciously.
A loud knock on their door finally made him startle out if his dream though and he blinked against the light in the room. "Hmmm?" was all he managed to get out at that.
"Hara! The principle wants to see you! Pronto!" Only after a moment, Toshiya realized that the owner of the voice had been their tutor and he sat up straight in bed. "The principle?" He turned his head to look at Die, a questioning expression on his face. "Did I do something wrong?"
"If one doesn't count falsely luring me into your bed, then no, I don't think you did." Die winked, smiling at the other boy. He was a bit insecure suddenly, not knowing how to react now that they were supposed to get up and go on with their daily routines. Somehow he couldn't bring himself to bother too much though, trusting that things would work out between them and otherwise too.
"Well then," Toshiya made a sudden movement and got off the bed. "How about you stay here and keep the bed warm while I see what the old man wants?" He was smiling widely, hoping the redhead would just agree upon his suggestion. It was one of the rare free Saturdays and he had been hoping he could convince Die to have some more fun and maybe even go to town together.
"On one condition." The redhead pulled the blanket up, and hugged his knees close to his chest, smiling at the other one. "You first give me a good morning kiss." If he was nervous he was able to cover it, only looking hopefully at his boyfriend.
The answer was a wide smile and Toshiya turned around again. Leaning down, he brought his hand to the redhead's cheek and gave him a gentle kiss. This seemed to be it. He had found his first true love. At least to him it was crystal clear.
Die practically melted into the kiss, enjoying it along with the soft touch and holding on to it as long as possible. When they parted he was smiling, giving the other boy a gentle shove. "Now go. And make sure you're back soon."
"Aye sir!" Quickly, Toshiya stepped into his jeans, t-shirt and sneakers as unshowered and smelly as he was and rushed out of the room. One could see from afar already how happy he was, could see that he was in love. Whistling merrily, he knocked on the principal's door and went inside, giving a small, playful bow. When he looked up again, he froze though. A black suit stood next to the principal's desk, smiling at him.
"Toshiya, good to see you!"
The boy frowned. "Takeshi? What are you doing here?" He knew the man as the right hand of his father and of all the people in the world, he hadn't expected him there.
"Your father sent me. A situation has occurred and we need to leave right away," came the serious reply.
"Right away? I need to pack my stuff and I need to tell D- ... say goodbye to my friends." Toshiya shook his head. He knew that it wouldn't make sense to contradict his father's wishes and yet felt like revolting for the first time in his life. "And what if I don't want to leave, huh? This is the first place where I'm happy. I don't want to move AGAIN!"
"Toshiya." The man's voice was firm and clearly warning. "As I said, we have a situation to deal with. Your safety can't be guaranteed here and we're leaving NOW." He paused for a moment, eyeing the rebellious teenager in front of him for a moment before going on. "You get fifteen minutes to get your belongings. Then make sure to come to the lobby."
Tears of defiance were blinking in Toshiya's eyes, but he held them back. Knowing that arguing would only mean that the amount of given time grew smaller and smaller, he turned around and wordlessly left the room, slamming the door shut.
Running, he made his way back to the room where Die was still lying in bed, but once he was in, the first tears were running down his cheeks. "Die!" he looked and sounded more serious than ever in his life before. "Please only listen now before you say something." He was leaning against the door, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.
Instantly the redhead was worried, straightening on his seat and locking his eyes on the other's face. "Something happened? What was it what the principle wanted from you?" He raised his hand a bit, wanting to tell the other to come closer, but in the end just waited for what he would say.
Toshiya shook his head and took a deep breath to calm himself somewhat and try not to think about the consequences his departure would have for him, for his feelings and the growing love between them.
"Remember that I once told you about my dad? About him being a Yakuza boss?" After receiving a nod, he went on. "It wasn't a joke." Back then when he had been telling huge stories about his dad's job, he had noticed that nobody believed any of that and thus had merrily kept on telling the truth as it seemed to be the best cover.
"I will have to leave. In fifteen minutes, I will get into the limo down in the yard and will never be back again. They said my life is in danger and no matter what I will do or say, nothing will change the fact that I will have to go, one way or another."
Tears were still filling his eyes again, but he fought them back, wanted to appear strong. "Die, I really fell in love with you, but I don't know when or if I can contact you. My father's controlling everything, is paranoid. All I have is this fifteen minutes to get my stuff and say goodbye." He looked at the redhead, pleading him with his eyes to understand, hoping for something that would give him the strength and courage to live through this. He had been forced to move from one school to another since he was little, had been living in different countries and seen many places, had made friends and lost them again. But never had parting been this hard, this crushing.
"What!?" Die was staring at his friend with wide eyes, his mouth slightly open as well as he couldn't believe a single word he was hearing. His first reaction had been to laugh and tell Toshiya to stop joking, but he had never seen him this serious and it made this unpleasant feeling dwell up in his stomach.
So it was true? This was it? Die opened his mouth to say something, but in the end he got nothing out, didn't know how to react to this. Fifteen minutes ago he had been happily lying in bed with his roommate, thinking that despite the weirdness, the frightening new feelings, they might have a chance to make it something solid together. And now, he was sitting there with a mere blanket covering his naked form and heard that he would be left alone, after all this. "They can't do this!" He shook his head frantically, refusing to believe what was happening. "YOU can't do this!"
"Die please..." A dry sob shook Toshiya's form and he closed his eyes, feeling like everything had turned against him all suddenly. He didn't want Die to hate him, but what difference would it make? They would probably never see each other again and he didn't have the heart to lie about that fact. "If I won't go now, they will just come and get me."
He remembered an incident before when he had been around seven or eight. His life had been endangered then too and his father's bodyguards had just burst into a school feast and grabbed him without the chance to say goodbye to his friends and without being able to pack his belongings. With a lot of effort, he managed to open his eyes again and looked at the redhead. The sight alone broke his heart already and he would have done everything if he had seen a possibility not to leave him. "I didn't want things to go this way, but there's nothing I can do about it. All I can say is that I'm sorry..." He meant it. If he had known to expect this, he wouldn't have turned the other boy's world upside down, wouldn't have allowed him to fall in love.
Die hung his head, trying to hide the tears that were stubbornly pushing their way into his eyes. In a quick movement, he wiped away a teardrop from his cheek, ashamed that he couldn't control himself. "So this is it? You will just walk out and... leave?" His voice was tiny and he didn't dare to look up at the other teenager, afraid it might break even the rest of self control he still had. He hadn't thought he had fallen this deep, but when it came down to it, it certainly wasn't painless to let go. Quite the contrary, it made his heart cramp until he felt like suffocating.
"I-" Toshiya began but then bowed his head too, a few tears dropping down from his nose. He nodded. "I will try to contact you, but then," suddenly he looked up again, something like defeat in his eyes. "What difference does it make? I can't visit you, can't even promise that a letter gets through to you, nor yours to me. I won't be able to send mails or call, because if my father finds out, he will isolate me completely, shut me out from the world."
He had fallen for the other boy so hard that he knew he would have to let him go and once Die had forgotten about him, he could just go on with his life as if nothing had ever happened between them. "It'll be okay," he tried to make the redhead believe, trying to convince himself too. "You will forget about me and find somebody else. After all, this is just a teenaged crush, right?" Why was it always him who had to lose the things he loved the most? Fist, his little puppy dog he had to leave behind, the countless friends he had had throughout the years and now even his first love. All he could hope was that the pain would subside soon, that they would be able to forget.
"Fuck you!" Die's head snapped up, and he didn't even bother to hide his tears, just staring right at the other teen, his gaze practically piercing him. "Don't you dare to tell me what to do. You might forget but I won't. This was special for me, you hear me? I thought it was something ...real."
He averted his gaze, swallowing hard before he was able to go on, his voice still shaking barely noticeably as he repeated. "I thought it was something real." He honestly didn't know what to do, how to react to anything. A large part of him wanted to just jump up, hug Toshiya tight and never let go. Another part felt let down though, because Toshiya had just walked into the room and told him the facts, still standing at the far end of the room as he hadn't even bothered to come close. Die knew he was bitter, but he couldn't help it right at that moment.
"Die, please don't make this so hard for both of us!" Toshiya begged and finally took a few steps towards the bed, but didn't dare to get closer. "It was real! It IS real. But that doesn't change anything. Nothing will change anything. Who cares if I forget or don't? You won't know about it." Hearing that Die would never forget him caused a twitch in his stomach, a good one. He knew it was silly and stupid, wouldn't change that they had to part forever, but he couldn't help it. He hadn't forgotten a single person in his life, everybody who had ever been precious to him in any way was locked up in a corner in his heart. But it was painful and hurt and he knew that the remembrance of the redhead would be the hardest. "I- Please don't hate me."
"How could I hate you when I fucking love you?" There was clear pain in Die's choked voice and he was unable to cover it even though he tried. He pulled his legs close to his chest, buried his face in his knees and tried to hold back the sob that shook him. A part of his mind still refused to believe that something like this was happening, but he knew it was reality, it was happening. And there was nothing he could do to stop it.
A honking horn made Toshiya flinch and he knew that there wasn't much time left for him. Quickly, he circled the bed and sat down at the edge, pulling the other teen into his arms. Inhaling his scent deeply, he tried to store it somewhere in his memory so that he wouldn't forget. "I'm sorry," he whispered repeatedly, not knowing how one was supposed to apologize for turning somebody's whole life upside down and then just leaving him alone with all the confusing emotions.
Instinctively the redhead grabbed the other's shirt, pressing himself close against him, into the embrace, and just tried to calm down. He was ashamed of the tears, but what did they matter if he would never see the other boy again anyways? The horn honked again somewhere outside and abruptly Die pulled back, only to grab Toshiya's head and yank him down into a deep kiss. It was his way of saying goodbye, said so much more than mere words could ever tell. He wanted to remember this, tried to imprint everything into his memory to treasure it forever.
The kiss tasted salty because both of them were still crying. Toshiya had tangled his fingers in Die's red strands, clawing them as if he never wanted to let go. If he hadn't been so desperate, so disappointed, he would have noticed that the kiss was still able to make his knees go weak and his head spin. Yet, after the horn honked for the third time, he broke the contact, smiling at the redhead from teary eyes.
"Do whatever you want with my stuff. I only want this." He picked up the shirt Die had worn the day before, his favourite New York Mets jersey.
It made Die chuckle a bit, almost hysterically and he smiled despite that he was crying. "Take care of yourself." He whispered, leaning to peck the other's lips again quickly. "And if there's ever a chance..." He wanted to ask Toshiya to call him, send him a letter or anything, but in the end he just left the sentence hanging in the air. "I won't forget."
Bringing both hands to Die's cheeks, Toshiya looked him deep in the eyes, honestly. "You will always be my first real love. Nobody can take that away from me." With having said that, he gave Die a short kiss and left the room.
Without looking back, he went down the stairs and crossed the yard, approaching the black limousine where Takeshi was awaiting him already. "Where's your luggage?" the bodyguard asked frowning.
A smile ghosted over the boy's lips as he climbed on the backseat. "In my heart," he whispered and closed the door.
Confused, the bodyguard just shrugged before getting into the car himself. He would've understood if he had looked over his shoulder and seen the pale figure standing at the window of the second floor, his palms and forehead pressed against the cold surface of the window's glass, watching through his tears as the car started moving and took a piece of his heart along.
Toshiya was sitting on the windowsill, smoking a cigarette while he enjoyed how the breeze caressed his face, cooled him down. He had already given up hope that Die would follow him, but when he heard the door, he turned his head and smiled instantly. "So you're not trying to hide in a hole?" he asked, his voice more quiet than usual and far softer. "Mister straight-guy..." The redhead would have to live with the teasing and if the kiss had meant anything to him, he would even understand.
"Cut it..." Die tried to aim for the normal tone but failed miserably as his voice was weak, hardly able to make it through those two words without breaking. He stopped at the other end of the room, averting his gaze as he had no idea what he should say, what he wanted to say. Hell, he didn't even know what he thought and felt right now. All he knew was that it had been too much to even think about his roommate with someone else and he had had to stop it.
Elegantly, Toshiya flicked his cigarette away and turned around, his feet dangling shortly above the floor. "Come here," he asked, but it came out more like a plea.
Obediently Die did as told. He didn't really have a choice, since it was as if gravity simply pulled him towards the other one and his feet were moving before he even noticed it. As he was standing right in front of Toshiya, he dared to look up into his eyes, his voice soft as he spoke up. "Thanks. For not going with him."
"It was never him, I wanted," the other boy gave away, shaking his head a bit. Gathering his courage, he took Die's hands in his and pulled him a bit closer still until the other one stood between his legs. "All I wanted was you and apparently, my hopes weren't in vain." The last part of the sentence was spoken with a small smile. He could feel Die's nervousness as much as his own, both of their hands being cold and sweaty. "Was it?"
The first answer was a small headshake, Die's eyes turning down again as he somehow didn't have it in him to look straight at his friend. Despite all the nervousness and confusion, he suddenly practically threw himself closer, wrapping his arms around Toshiya's waist and burying his face into his shoulder. It somehow soothed the nervousness, the other's scent surrounding him and his firm body pressed so close.
"Hey, hey," Toshiya's voice was calm, a soft chuckle escaping him. "So emotional at once?" The action had made his heart miss a beat when a sudden wave of Die's pure sent crushed down on him. "It's okay. I know you just love me. No need to say it." His voice had grown more firm, almost bore the same teasing undertone it had had before when talking to the other boy. "My offer is still on the table, you know," he remarked, trying to sound casual.
The words made Die chuckle, and he was just utterly happy that things were still so relaxed and close to normal between them. "Which of the offers? I remember quite many of those." He tilted his head a bit to look Toshiya in the eye, his voice still a bit choked but steady enough to carry properly.
First, he received a small peck on his lips, before the black-haired teen winked grinning. "Every single one." He meant it, willing to grant Die anything he wanted if only he wouldn't withdraw again and give him the cold shoulder.
"Wow," the redhead laughed softly. "You're being generous here. I was assuming you'd at least withdraw half of the offers now that I acted like a total jackass." He was smiling honestly, looking his friend straight in the eye. He was still nervous, had no idea what to do and how this would work, but still he only tightened his hold of the other teen, not wanting to let go of him.
"Oh, I do think you're a complete idiot, but I also know that you didn't act like that on purpose," Toshiya gave away winking. "So yeah, you can choose whatever you want and I will make all your dreams come true." He was still a bit nervous, but managed to cover it quite well and wrapped his arms loosely around the redhead's neck. "But of course you will have to confess that you've been wrong and I was right. And you will have to admit that I AM sexy and your perfect wet dream," he teased in the usual loving way.
"Alright, I admit it, you are fucking sexy and every guy's dream." There was a sparkle in Die's eyes, a grin dancing on his lips as he looked straight at the other teen. The look on Toshiya's face was expecting and Die knew he was waiting for the other part of what he had demanded. Still, he kept quiet for a moment before going on. "But I wasn't wrong. At the given time I was right. Which doesn't mean that things haven't changed though..."
The confession was enough to elicit a soft smile on Toshiya's lips and his heart jumped up and down in joy. Winking, he said. "Not only every guy's dream, but the girls won't get the best of me." He just couldn't help the teasing as it was in his nature. Yet, he became more serious, although his eyes were still sparkling.
"Thank God there are no girls here to compete with." The redhead laughed softly, not averting his gaze for a single moment. He felt unreal on some level, like this wasn't even happening while another part of him felt completely at ease.
"So are you going to kiss me anytime soon or shall I call in sick for the next days until you decided to make a move?" The black haired teen tilted his head, smirking impishly.
The words made Die's heart skip a beat, but his smile never faltered and he didn't seem to flinch even. Wordlessly he leaned closer, playfully hesitating a bit before initiating a slow kiss. Instantly Toshiya tightened the hold he had on the other boy's neck. This time, the kiss was far from being as raw and passionate as the one in the locker-room. It was gentle and gave both of them the opportunity to actually enjoy it, to relish the sensations it elicited inside them.
It definitely wasn't Die's first kiss, but still it felt like that as Toshiya's soft lips on his made it all new and fascinating. His other hand had found its way up, and he cupped the other boy's cheek in his palm, gently making him tilt his head a bit. The touch was like burning on Toshiya's skin. Inwardly, he was cheering as he had been right in the end; Die had been worth waiting for. He was a talented kisser and it made Toshiya's head spin, let alone that the heat was shooting back to his groin, a tingling feeling rising in his stomach. "Wow!" he breathed out after they had parted. "You... I mean... Are you sure you never kissed a guy before?"
"I'm sure." Die laughed, not pulling away his hand and otherwise staying close to the other teen as well, their faces only inches apart. "But it's not that different, if you kiss a guy or a girl."
"It is," the other boy contradicted smirking. "At least for you. You should be nervous," he stated matter-of-factly. He used his legs to pull the redhead closer to himself, purposefully closing his eyes half way which gave him a lusty expression.
That was already enough to make some of the nervousness return, and Die wasn't sure how he had been so calm until then. He tried not to let it show, only grinned and shrugged a bit. "Why? I'm not afraid of you or anything."
"Good," Toshiya purred and allowed his hands to slide from Die’s neck to his shoulders and down his chest. "Because you are making me a bit nervous," he gave away. It was true. Although he didn't look nor act like it, he couldn't help that a certain nervousness, along with some anticipation, was coursing through him. It was just because he had no idea how far Die was willing to go, how much he wanted him and WHAT exactly he wanted.
"Really?" Die arched an eyebrow, but got distracted by the other's hands on his chest and turned his gaze down to follow their movement. A small shiver ran along his spine, and he couldn't help the dry feeling in his throat, the hammering of his heart. "But shouldn't you be the experienced heartbreaker?"
"Yeah." Toshiya nodded smiling. "But it's hard when you're trying so much to get something and then suddenly have it right there in your hands, or arms." He let his palms rest on the redhead's hips, his thumbs toying with the cuff of his jeans.
For a moment the redhead kept his gaze down, like hypnotized by Toshiya's long fingers, but then finally turned to look him in the eye. "I seriously thought you were just trying to piss me off half of the time."
"I did well, didn't I?" The black haired teen raised his gaze, practically beaming. "But half of the time I didn't know what I did nor why I was so persistent. It was a lot of fun to see you so embarrassed." With a dreamy expression on his face, he went on. "But when I wore that dress, I thought I got you..."
"In a way, you did." Die confessed with a chuckle, shaking his head a bit. "It took a lot of willpower to just go to bed that night." He couldn't resist the temptation and tilted his head enough to initiate another kiss, wanting to feel his friend's lips on his again.
It made Toshiya smile. Without breaking the contact, he slowly slid off the windowsill until he was standing right in front of the other teen. Figuring that nothing would happen if he didn't take the initiative, he gently moved them towards his bed which was the closest. Yet, he didn't dare to just give Die a shove when they had reached it, but showed his motives by sliding his hands underneath his shirt to caress the smooth skin there.
Die's heart was hammering in his chest, and if it hadn't been for the kiss that grounded him to reality somewhat, he would've panicked. He just took a firm hold of Toshiya's waist, allowing himself to drop backwards on the mattress and pulling his friend with him. Inwardly, he thought that no matter how stunning Toshiya had been in the dress with full make-up on, he still preferred him like this, like he had grown to know him.
If he had said that out loud, Toshiya would have really made a victory dance. Encouraged by Die's action, he tucked the shirt out of the redhead's pants completely, pushing it up to his armpits. He was still nervous, somewhat afraid his friend could come back to his senses any second or then realize that this wasn't what he wanted, but he was yearning to feel more of his skin, to touch him and find out where he was the most sensitive. Slowly, he roamed his palms upwards from the redhead's belly over his chest, brushing across his nipples with his thumbs. First only carefully to see how the other reacted, but when nothing happened, he did it again.
It resulted in a small gasp that was drowned out in the kiss, and Die couldn't help but to shiver a bit as the feelings mixed with nervousness and anticipation, creating something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Still, he lifted his upper body from the mattress, indicating that he wanted to get rid of his shirt completely. He didn't want to stop now, couldn't stop the flow of happenings because if he did, he would panic and flee.
Instantly, Toshiya pulled the shirt over his head and discarded it somewhere to the side. He used the short break to get rid of his own as well and then bent down, running the tip of his tongue from the crook of Die's shoulder up his neck to his ear. He could feel the other boy's frantic heartbeat and somehow it was good to know that they both seemed to be equally nervous, if only for different reasons.
Instinctively Die tilted his head a bit, wanting more of the soft touch that made him shiver, made his heartbeat speed up. He still hadn't figured out how far he was willing to go, or more likely capable to go. He was willing, surely, wanted to get to know the other and explore everything of him, learn how he reacted to things.
Toshiya's heart had stopped beating, his breathing only shallow as being so close to the one he had been dreaming about for such a long time was enough to make him feel accomplished. He had closed his lips on the taut skin of Die's neck and let them travel downwards again, kissing and nibbling on the scented skin.
Neither of them had showered after physical education that day and so it was only Die's pure scent, unspoiled, closing in on him. Carefully, tentatively, he brought one of his hands to the other's lower stomach and let the fingertips slide underneath the cuff of his pants, tensing as he was waiting for a sign if he was allowed to go on or if he should stop.
Die tensed as well, but for completely different reasons. The touch was like burning on his skin, making his heartbeat speed up and the heat gather in his lower body and he found himself yearning for more. He held his breath, waiting for what would follow. As Toshiya did nothing though, he forced his eyes open, meeting his gaze straight. He still didn't say a single word, fearing his voice would fail him. He wouldn't have known what to say anyways.
The look in his eyes spoke books though and, hoping he hadn't misinterpreted it, Toshiya opened the button of the jeans and slowly slid down the zipper. He was holding his breath as his eyes followed his hand's movement and he had to swallow hard. As slowly as before, he pushed his fingers into the other boy's boxers, softly brushing through the pubes there before running it over the slight arousal he found.
The touch made Die gasp, his eyes falling shut again as he let his head drop backwards, his breath hitching in his throat. It felt unreal, the mere thought of lying in bed with his friend whose hand was making its way into his pants felt like it was ripped straight from a dream rather than from reality. He hadn't even dared to imagine this before, but even if he had he couldn't have created anything like this with the force of mere imagination. Moving his hips upwards a bit, he was silently asking Toshiya to go on, wanted more of it. Simultaneously his own hands were sliding down Toshiya's back, marveling the smoothness of the skin against his fingertips.
The moving space was limited though and after a few more tentative touches, the black-haired teen withdrew his hand to tuck down Die's pants and boxers far enough to free him. Looking up, he smiled at the redhead and coevally laced his fingers around his hardness, stroking him softly. It certainly wasn't his first time being with a guy, but this was special; Die was special to him.
The moment his pants were dragged down Die had blushed slightly as this was truly an unfamiliar territory for him and he became self-conscious in an uncomfortable way. The touch was enough to send laces of pleasure through his being though and he didn't have much time to dwell on his insecurities. His hands had reached the waistband of the other's pants, and he moved to open the button, wanting to give something in return.
Toshiya truly hadn't expected it, ready to only give Die a glimpse of what it would be like to be with him. The movement though made him stop his own actions for a second and he closed his eyes to get a hold of himself and his suddenly racing heart. Shifting a bit, he aided the other one, gave him more room to move.
Despite the frantic shaking of his hands, Die managed to open the pants swiftly, tugging them down instantly as he didn't want to be the only one exposed. Besides, he was truly yearning for something, not even knowing what himself. All he knew was that he wanted to make Toshiya feel as good as he had made him feel.
His friend allowed him to do as he wished, not embarrassed in the slightest. To him, being naked was natural as he was comfortable with his appearance, liked to be looked at. He even kicked his legs to get rid of the trousers completely and then moved to do the same to Die's, wanting him completely naked as well. When he was done, he bent down and planted a small, wet kiss on the tip of Die's arousal, not daring to go further though. Instead, he shifted to the side, pressing himself against the warm body, feeling the wonderful smooth skin, and laced his fingers around the hard flesh again, beginning where he had stopped before.
Die mewled, bucking up slightly into the touch as it felt just all too good. He turned a bit to be able to kiss the other teen again, the contact evolving into something hungry and passionate as they both wanted the most of it. Somehow seeing how naturally Toshiya took everything calmed Die down too and he didn't hesitate anymore when he brought his hand to the other's groin, mirroring the ministrations the best he managed.
That was almost too much for Toshiya and a low groan left his throat, dying somewhere in the redhead's mouth. Just knowing that he was the first to get something like that from Die caused a palpable shudder to run down his spine, not to mention the pleasure that built up quick in his lower body part. Willed on by that, he picked up the pace of his touches on the heated flesh in his palm, greedy for every small reaction.
It was hard for Die to keep control over himself, to concentrate on providing the other pleasure as his own being was rapidly being pushed higher, the feelings almost too much to handle. Still he realized somewhere in his lust-blurred brain that it was equally important for him to give as to receive and Toshiya's reactions turned him on to no end as he knew he was the reason for them.
They were lying as close as possible without limiting each other's movements too much, their limbs entangled, eyes closed and their breaths mixing whenever the current kiss broke to fill their lungs with the necessary oxygen. Shamelessly, Toshiya allowed the moans to roll freely from his throat, not caring if anybody heard them. If it were him to decide, everybody could hear how good Die made him feel.
The sounds that were resonating in the air turned Die on even more and soon he found himself trying to increase his ministrations to gain more of them, to get even more forceful reactions from the other teenager. He close to the edge already, knew he wouldn't last too long anymore and in a quick movement he buried his face in Toshiya's neck, licking and nibbling on the smooth skin, even biting down almost harshly.
Toshiya cried out, his back arching while he tilted his neck to offer even more space. Feeling the redhead's teeth on his skin, the slight pain the bite caused, only pushed him higher and although he tried hard to hold back, he couldn't stop the orgasm from overwhelming him. "Die, I'm coming!" he warned to give the other one the opportunity to withdraw. A split second later, he released himself forcefully moaning at the sensations that were spreading all over his body.
Even if Die would've wanted to pull back, his brains were already too lost in pleasure and he had no chance to react that quickly. He didn't even want to get away though. Quite the contrary, he even leaned a bit closer to the warm body beside his. It seemed to take forever, time standing still as Toshiya climaxed, his expression speaking of pure bliss. But soon it was all washed away as Die was thrown over the edge as well, his body finally reaching its limits. He screamed, burying his face in the other's skin to muffle the sound at least somewhat as pleasure took over and his muscles spasmed, his back forming an arch.
The other teen kept on stroking him until Die had nothing to give anymore and his body flagged completely. Somewhere in between, Toshiya had opened his eyes to savor the expression on his friend's face, to make sure he felt as good as he himself. Somehow, he felt the need to say something, but didn't know what and finally just settled for initiating a soft kiss, not minding their stained bodies and hands as he pressed himself closer to the warm body.
Instinctively, without giving it a single thought Die wrapped his arms around his neck to pull him closer into the kiss. He was completely out of breath but still not willing to let go of the contact. Turning to lie on his back, he pulled Toshiya almost on top of him.
The movement elicited an approving mewl from the black-haired teen and he allowed his eyes to flutter shut. Somewhere in the back of his skull he was afraid that the magical moment would be over soon and that they would have to talk about the just happened. For the time being though, he only enjoyed the kiss and how they were so close to each other.
Die noticed that he actually enjoyed having Toshiya's weight on him and shifted a bit until he was lying completely underneath him. They took their time with the kiss, but it had to break eventually. Still, they stayed close to each other, their noses touching and their eyes shut.
It was heavenly bliss for both of them and neither made a move to get away nor to speak up. This was somewhat new to Toshiya, that he felt so safe in somebody else's arms, that a simple gesture like an embrace touched him so deeply. He had always been the kind to fall in love easily, but this was different from his, usually very short, flings.
Die would've thought that a moment like this would feel somehow out of place. Especially since he had never shared anything even close to this with someone of his own gender. None of that mattered right now though as he was surprisingly calm, only this small tingling feeling in the pit of his stomach making him happy, even slightly bouncy. Absent mindedly he was toying with the short hair in the back of Toshiya's head.
Finally, the black-haired teen buried his face in the crook of Die's shoulder and closed his eyes. The soft touches made him release a deep, content sigh. He knew how special it was to get something like that from somebody who wasn't used to sharing intimate moments with another man nor to exchange touches and loving gestures with him. It made it even more special and a soft smile tugged the corners of his mouth.
"Are you cold?" Die cursed inwardly since it sounded so dumb when he said it out loud, but he had meant it honestly, thinking that Toshiya could be more comfortable if they took a blanket to cover them. Why was it so hard to begin to talk again? The silence was so much more comfortable, but he knew they would need to talk.
"Am not." Toshiya lifted his head and smiled. He noticed how hard it was to talk to each other, not only for the redhead but for him as well. "Are you then? Or am I too heavy?" Usually, he would have already jumped up and covered both of them with a blanket, but there was something in Die that soothed his bounciness, that made an inner calmness spread all over his being.
"No, you're not too heavy. And you're technically a blanket to me so I'm not cold either." Die chuckled, tilting his head a bit to the side as he smiled at the other teenager. Somehow he was able to forget the slight insecurity, and tilted his head to steal a small, soft kiss from the other one.
"I asked Ryo to go and watch a movie with me today," Toshiya burst out after they had parted again, not knowing how to put his feelings into words, but still thinking he owed the redhead the truth. "I never considered doing anything else with him..."
"You what!?" Die's eyes widened and he looked surprised for a moment. "So it was all just to get me into bed?! You bastard!" Despite his words he was chuckling, and the hit he aimed at Toshiya's shoulder was purposefully weak.
"No, not really," Toshiya shook his head and then grinned as well. "Maybe that was one of the reasons. But after you kissed me good night, I simply HAD to know if you have feelings for me. So I used the old trick and tried to make you jealous," he confessed. "You're not mad?"
"No," Die shook his head, answering honestly. "Or I am, but I don't care about it right now." He chuckled, his eyes sparkling. Somehow it was even flattering that the other teen had wanted him enough to do all these things.
"I hope you won't care about it later too," the Toshiya stated winking. For a moment, he looked Die deep in the eyes and then stole a short kiss, like reassuring himself that he really wasn't mad. Still, he had to ask something else. "Was it worth to forget that you're straight?"
"Hmm.." Die made a pondering noise, pursed his lips thoughtfully and turned his eyes to measure the ceiling. "I don't know." He worked hard to cover his grin, even managed.
"Whaddaya mean, you don't know?" Toshiya missed the teasing undertone completely and stared at the other boy in shock. "Not good enough? I told you, you can choose between my offers, but then we would still stand at the window and look at each other unmoving..."
"You will just have to work hard in the future." The redhead nodded, looking at his friend from huge, innocent eyes. "To convince me it was worth it." Inwardly he was laughing, thinking that if he managed to fool Toshiya this well he should've joined drama-class too.
"Bastard!" Only then Toshiya noticed the impish glimmer in Die's eyes and slapped his head playfully, a beautiful pout appearing on his lips. Then, he was smiling again though, nodding. "I will do my best in the future to convince you." Hearing that Die wasn't against getting intimate again made his heart bounce up and down in his chest and he felt like hugging the whole world.
"Good," Die was practically purring, the smile breaking free as he didn't want to hold it back anymore and rather let his good mood show. "But yeah... it was worth it I think."
"You think?!?" Again, Toshiya pouted, lifted his upper body a bit and pointed at himself. "You got all this and you 'think'?"
"No, I definitely didn't think. Not a moment ago," the redhead answered instantly.
"Oh, but you were thinking." At a moment's notice, the seductive Toshiya was back and he leaned down to nibble the other boy's neck, using his tongue as much as his teeth. "Only with the lower part of your body..."
"I wouldn't call that thinking..." Die purred, closing his eyes and enjoying the feelings to no end.
"But it is. It's the primal way to think," Toshiya contradicted, only leaving the redhead's skin for as long as it took to utter the words.
"Whatever. Let's then say that my brains weren't functioning anyways." The redhead shrugged, not able to get rid of the silly grin on his face.
"You were so needy, admit it. After I caught you jerking off, you never dared to do anything about it, did you?" The black haired teen asked curiously, but stayed where he was without lifting his head.
"I'm not going to tell you anything. You're such a sneaky bastard. Just be happy that you now got what you wanted." Suddenly Die hugged him a bit tighter for a moment, simply wanting to somehow show him he did care.
It had the wished effect as the gesture caused a warm feeling inside Toshiya's stomach and the words caused him to shut up about the topic. They remained silent for a few moments before the black-haired teen spoke up again. "Die?"
"Yeah?" Die opened one eye, tilting his head and looking at the other one questioningly. He was too lazy to react otherwise though.
"Will you stay the night?" It was clear that Toshiya had meant if Die would be willing to sleep in one bed with him. After everything that had happened, he wasn't sure if he would need some time for himself.
"If you want me to," the redhead answered honestly. Truth to be told, he had been hoping for that question to come as he really wanted to stay close to Toshiya right now and enjoy the shared warmth. Somehow it soothed him, made him feel more secure and safe to have the other one near.
"Of course." Toshiya smiled widely and finally managed to move again, reaching for the blanket to cover their naked forms. It made him happy to hear that Die would stay with him, because he felt the desperate need to cuddle with him and hold him as much as he was hoping to be held.
Once they were both under the blanket Die instantly snuggled a bit closer, seeking for skin on skin contact. He didn't know himself like this, hadn't acted like this ever before, but still it felt all strangely natural. It was an effect Toshiya had on him, as he wanted to be closer right now. He had the feeling he should say something, but in the end he didn't know what, and remained silent.
It was a comfortable silence and for once in his life the bouncy black-haired boy didn't feel the urge to babble about something. He was simply content by resting against the other one, pillowing his head on his chest and listening to the regularly beating heart underneath his ear.
That was how they fell asleep in the end, their limbs tangled together and both holding on to the closeness even in their sleep. Only in the early morning hours Die stirred the first time, for a while wondering where he was before the happenings of the previous day came back into his mind. Like naturally he sneaked one arm around the other teen's waist, resting his head on his shoulder carefully, not to wake him up. There was no need to fear that though because Toshiya had always been a deep sleeper. Still, a soft sigh escaped him and he rolled closer to the heat source subconsciously.
A loud knock on their door finally made him startle out if his dream though and he blinked against the light in the room. "Hmmm?" was all he managed to get out at that.
"Hara! The principle wants to see you! Pronto!" Only after a moment, Toshiya realized that the owner of the voice had been their tutor and he sat up straight in bed. "The principle?" He turned his head to look at Die, a questioning expression on his face. "Did I do something wrong?"
"If one doesn't count falsely luring me into your bed, then no, I don't think you did." Die winked, smiling at the other boy. He was a bit insecure suddenly, not knowing how to react now that they were supposed to get up and go on with their daily routines. Somehow he couldn't bring himself to bother too much though, trusting that things would work out between them and otherwise too.
"Well then," Toshiya made a sudden movement and got off the bed. "How about you stay here and keep the bed warm while I see what the old man wants?" He was smiling widely, hoping the redhead would just agree upon his suggestion. It was one of the rare free Saturdays and he had been hoping he could convince Die to have some more fun and maybe even go to town together.
"On one condition." The redhead pulled the blanket up, and hugged his knees close to his chest, smiling at the other one. "You first give me a good morning kiss." If he was nervous he was able to cover it, only looking hopefully at his boyfriend.
The answer was a wide smile and Toshiya turned around again. Leaning down, he brought his hand to the redhead's cheek and gave him a gentle kiss. This seemed to be it. He had found his first true love. At least to him it was crystal clear.
Die practically melted into the kiss, enjoying it along with the soft touch and holding on to it as long as possible. When they parted he was smiling, giving the other boy a gentle shove. "Now go. And make sure you're back soon."
"Aye sir!" Quickly, Toshiya stepped into his jeans, t-shirt and sneakers as unshowered and smelly as he was and rushed out of the room. One could see from afar already how happy he was, could see that he was in love. Whistling merrily, he knocked on the principal's door and went inside, giving a small, playful bow. When he looked up again, he froze though. A black suit stood next to the principal's desk, smiling at him.
"Toshiya, good to see you!"
The boy frowned. "Takeshi? What are you doing here?" He knew the man as the right hand of his father and of all the people in the world, he hadn't expected him there.
"Your father sent me. A situation has occurred and we need to leave right away," came the serious reply.
"Right away? I need to pack my stuff and I need to tell D- ... say goodbye to my friends." Toshiya shook his head. He knew that it wouldn't make sense to contradict his father's wishes and yet felt like revolting for the first time in his life. "And what if I don't want to leave, huh? This is the first place where I'm happy. I don't want to move AGAIN!"
"Toshiya." The man's voice was firm and clearly warning. "As I said, we have a situation to deal with. Your safety can't be guaranteed here and we're leaving NOW." He paused for a moment, eyeing the rebellious teenager in front of him for a moment before going on. "You get fifteen minutes to get your belongings. Then make sure to come to the lobby."
Tears of defiance were blinking in Toshiya's eyes, but he held them back. Knowing that arguing would only mean that the amount of given time grew smaller and smaller, he turned around and wordlessly left the room, slamming the door shut.
Running, he made his way back to the room where Die was still lying in bed, but once he was in, the first tears were running down his cheeks. "Die!" he looked and sounded more serious than ever in his life before. "Please only listen now before you say something." He was leaning against the door, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.
Instantly the redhead was worried, straightening on his seat and locking his eyes on the other's face. "Something happened? What was it what the principle wanted from you?" He raised his hand a bit, wanting to tell the other to come closer, but in the end just waited for what he would say.
Toshiya shook his head and took a deep breath to calm himself somewhat and try not to think about the consequences his departure would have for him, for his feelings and the growing love between them.
"Remember that I once told you about my dad? About him being a Yakuza boss?" After receiving a nod, he went on. "It wasn't a joke." Back then when he had been telling huge stories about his dad's job, he had noticed that nobody believed any of that and thus had merrily kept on telling the truth as it seemed to be the best cover.
"I will have to leave. In fifteen minutes, I will get into the limo down in the yard and will never be back again. They said my life is in danger and no matter what I will do or say, nothing will change the fact that I will have to go, one way or another."
Tears were still filling his eyes again, but he fought them back, wanted to appear strong. "Die, I really fell in love with you, but I don't know when or if I can contact you. My father's controlling everything, is paranoid. All I have is this fifteen minutes to get my stuff and say goodbye." He looked at the redhead, pleading him with his eyes to understand, hoping for something that would give him the strength and courage to live through this. He had been forced to move from one school to another since he was little, had been living in different countries and seen many places, had made friends and lost them again. But never had parting been this hard, this crushing.
"What!?" Die was staring at his friend with wide eyes, his mouth slightly open as well as he couldn't believe a single word he was hearing. His first reaction had been to laugh and tell Toshiya to stop joking, but he had never seen him this serious and it made this unpleasant feeling dwell up in his stomach.
So it was true? This was it? Die opened his mouth to say something, but in the end he got nothing out, didn't know how to react to this. Fifteen minutes ago he had been happily lying in bed with his roommate, thinking that despite the weirdness, the frightening new feelings, they might have a chance to make it something solid together. And now, he was sitting there with a mere blanket covering his naked form and heard that he would be left alone, after all this. "They can't do this!" He shook his head frantically, refusing to believe what was happening. "YOU can't do this!"
"Die please..." A dry sob shook Toshiya's form and he closed his eyes, feeling like everything had turned against him all suddenly. He didn't want Die to hate him, but what difference would it make? They would probably never see each other again and he didn't have the heart to lie about that fact. "If I won't go now, they will just come and get me."
He remembered an incident before when he had been around seven or eight. His life had been endangered then too and his father's bodyguards had just burst into a school feast and grabbed him without the chance to say goodbye to his friends and without being able to pack his belongings. With a lot of effort, he managed to open his eyes again and looked at the redhead. The sight alone broke his heart already and he would have done everything if he had seen a possibility not to leave him. "I didn't want things to go this way, but there's nothing I can do about it. All I can say is that I'm sorry..." He meant it. If he had known to expect this, he wouldn't have turned the other boy's world upside down, wouldn't have allowed him to fall in love.
Die hung his head, trying to hide the tears that were stubbornly pushing their way into his eyes. In a quick movement, he wiped away a teardrop from his cheek, ashamed that he couldn't control himself. "So this is it? You will just walk out and... leave?" His voice was tiny and he didn't dare to look up at the other teenager, afraid it might break even the rest of self control he still had. He hadn't thought he had fallen this deep, but when it came down to it, it certainly wasn't painless to let go. Quite the contrary, it made his heart cramp until he felt like suffocating.
"I-" Toshiya began but then bowed his head too, a few tears dropping down from his nose. He nodded. "I will try to contact you, but then," suddenly he looked up again, something like defeat in his eyes. "What difference does it make? I can't visit you, can't even promise that a letter gets through to you, nor yours to me. I won't be able to send mails or call, because if my father finds out, he will isolate me completely, shut me out from the world."
He had fallen for the other boy so hard that he knew he would have to let him go and once Die had forgotten about him, he could just go on with his life as if nothing had ever happened between them. "It'll be okay," he tried to make the redhead believe, trying to convince himself too. "You will forget about me and find somebody else. After all, this is just a teenaged crush, right?" Why was it always him who had to lose the things he loved the most? Fist, his little puppy dog he had to leave behind, the countless friends he had had throughout the years and now even his first love. All he could hope was that the pain would subside soon, that they would be able to forget.
"Fuck you!" Die's head snapped up, and he didn't even bother to hide his tears, just staring right at the other teen, his gaze practically piercing him. "Don't you dare to tell me what to do. You might forget but I won't. This was special for me, you hear me? I thought it was something ...real."
He averted his gaze, swallowing hard before he was able to go on, his voice still shaking barely noticeably as he repeated. "I thought it was something real." He honestly didn't know what to do, how to react to anything. A large part of him wanted to just jump up, hug Toshiya tight and never let go. Another part felt let down though, because Toshiya had just walked into the room and told him the facts, still standing at the far end of the room as he hadn't even bothered to come close. Die knew he was bitter, but he couldn't help it right at that moment.
"Die, please don't make this so hard for both of us!" Toshiya begged and finally took a few steps towards the bed, but didn't dare to get closer. "It was real! It IS real. But that doesn't change anything. Nothing will change anything. Who cares if I forget or don't? You won't know about it." Hearing that Die would never forget him caused a twitch in his stomach, a good one. He knew it was silly and stupid, wouldn't change that they had to part forever, but he couldn't help it. He hadn't forgotten a single person in his life, everybody who had ever been precious to him in any way was locked up in a corner in his heart. But it was painful and hurt and he knew that the remembrance of the redhead would be the hardest. "I- Please don't hate me."
"How could I hate you when I fucking love you?" There was clear pain in Die's choked voice and he was unable to cover it even though he tried. He pulled his legs close to his chest, buried his face in his knees and tried to hold back the sob that shook him. A part of his mind still refused to believe that something like this was happening, but he knew it was reality, it was happening. And there was nothing he could do to stop it.
A honking horn made Toshiya flinch and he knew that there wasn't much time left for him. Quickly, he circled the bed and sat down at the edge, pulling the other teen into his arms. Inhaling his scent deeply, he tried to store it somewhere in his memory so that he wouldn't forget. "I'm sorry," he whispered repeatedly, not knowing how one was supposed to apologize for turning somebody's whole life upside down and then just leaving him alone with all the confusing emotions.
Instinctively the redhead grabbed the other's shirt, pressing himself close against him, into the embrace, and just tried to calm down. He was ashamed of the tears, but what did they matter if he would never see the other boy again anyways? The horn honked again somewhere outside and abruptly Die pulled back, only to grab Toshiya's head and yank him down into a deep kiss. It was his way of saying goodbye, said so much more than mere words could ever tell. He wanted to remember this, tried to imprint everything into his memory to treasure it forever.
The kiss tasted salty because both of them were still crying. Toshiya had tangled his fingers in Die's red strands, clawing them as if he never wanted to let go. If he hadn't been so desperate, so disappointed, he would have noticed that the kiss was still able to make his knees go weak and his head spin. Yet, after the horn honked for the third time, he broke the contact, smiling at the redhead from teary eyes.
"Do whatever you want with my stuff. I only want this." He picked up the shirt Die had worn the day before, his favourite New York Mets jersey.
It made Die chuckle a bit, almost hysterically and he smiled despite that he was crying. "Take care of yourself." He whispered, leaning to peck the other's lips again quickly. "And if there's ever a chance..." He wanted to ask Toshiya to call him, send him a letter or anything, but in the end he just left the sentence hanging in the air. "I won't forget."
Bringing both hands to Die's cheeks, Toshiya looked him deep in the eyes, honestly. "You will always be my first real love. Nobody can take that away from me." With having said that, he gave Die a short kiss and left the room.
Without looking back, he went down the stairs and crossed the yard, approaching the black limousine where Takeshi was awaiting him already. "Where's your luggage?" the bodyguard asked frowning.
A smile ghosted over the boy's lips as he climbed on the backseat. "In my heart," he whispered and closed the door.
Confused, the bodyguard just shrugged before getting into the car himself. He would've understood if he had looked over his shoulder and seen the pale figure standing at the window of the second floor, his palms and forehead pressed against the cold surface of the window's glass, watching through his tears as the car started moving and took a piece of his heart along.