rabenhorst (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rabenhorst) wrote2010-01-29 10:47 am
rabenhorst) wrote2010-01-29 10:47 am
(no subject)
Most of these were written on request, some resulted from the inspiration boxes and they are all over the place.
***
• Kyo/Die
• NC17
• prompt: “torn apart”
Die can hardly move. Tied to the bed, ropes cutting deep into the soft flesh of his wrists, of his ankles, his legs forced apart further than they would go. There are tears of frustration forming in his eyes, rolling down his cheeks, as time and time again his body is denied what it is craving for, what it needs desperately. He feels like dying, and he knows it’s exactly what Kyo is aiming for.
It’s exactly what he needs. What they both need.
After every heated argument they need to burn off the anger, to sweat off the poisonous malice from their system. Die used to be scared, thinking that the almost violent clashes of their stubborn personalities would end up tearing them apart in the end. It was before they learned their own way to deal with it. Now, every argument leads to heated kisses, eager hands roaming over every inch of uncovered skin until neither of them can hold back any longer.
Often Die finds himself restricted, tied down for his lover to do with as he wishes. He lets it happen, throws himself into the moment since he knows why it has to be like this. At the same time, Kyo is both punishing him and apologizing. He makes him go through hell, only to show him a glimpse of heaven. They both can deal with their guilt and their anger this way, the mixed sensations of the moment parallel to the mixed feelings.
When the pain shoots through Die’s nerve tracks, into every fibre of his being, he can only scream. Yet he focuses on the shared warmth, on the raw attack turning into mutual desire, something they both feed off of.
And when Kyo touches him, he knows they leave the pain behind.
***
• Die/Kyo
• PG13
• prompt: “so fucking cute”
When Die first saw Kyo, he thought that the other man was extremely adorable. Yes, he was trying to look cool and had the whole monster-do to him, messed hair and awful make-up that tried to make him look like a demon. Only that if one asked Die, he looked more like a funny little goblin that had escaped the woods and was now lost somewhere in the bright city. He knew better than to say it out loud, especially when the vocalist was so keen on keeping up a believable appearance, and of course he didn't want to make a fool out of him.
Still, the thought didn't leave Die, not even when years passed and the ways to shock changed. Kyo went from the goblin-make up through the whole cavalcade of self-harm and extreme tricks, fake blood mixing with the real deal. Sometimes it was scary, made Die want to beg for the younger man to stop and yet he knew better. There was nothing to stop the creative flow as everyone seemed to be calling it.
Only when after all those years, Die finally caught a glimpse of what was beneath that surface, he knew what he had to do. It wasn't easy to make things work, not with two as stubborn persons as they were, and yet there was more will to make it than there were obstacles thrown at them. He felt honored, to see sides in Kyo that no one else was allowed to witness, to see to the very core of the enigma he had created of himself.
Yet, the more Die saw the more his first impression seemed to strengthen. Kyo was simply goddamn adorable. Whether he wanted it or not.
***
• Kaoru/Die
• PG13
• prompt: word of the day #6 “narthex” from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
inspireaspirexx
Somehow, Die had always hated churches. Not because he would have anything against religion in itself, although he wasn't exactly keen on that either, he wasn't even Christian. There just was something in churches that made him feel small, unimportant and powerless and that was something he hated. Being surrounded by the massive sculptures and paintings that obviously served a higher purpose, made him uneasy with painful efficiency. It never failed.
Knowing this, it wasn't exactly a surprise that he protested, rather loudly, when Kaoru decided they would visit an impressive catholic church. Granted, Prague was famous for its churches and they all had heard much of them and of the brilliant architecture. Kyo had already disappeared on his "church round" when everyone else had been asleep in the early mornings, and both Toshiya and Shinya had announced they would use the evening to go see at least one before checking out the nightlife the city offered.
Die didn't understand anything about great architecture though. Nor did he want to. He tried to subtly suggest that they could just grab a beer somewhere, enjoy the day and hell, he'd rather sit in one of those horse carriages for a sightseeing round. Yet Kaoru was stubborn, he had decided he wanted to see churches so there was nothing anyone could do about that. Not even Die.
Several hours and seven churches later, Die's feet hurt and his mind was swirling with crosses and sculptures and paintings of everything from baby Jesus to dying Jesus. He still hated churches. But when he got to sit down next to Kaoru, who was smiling obviously happily, and wash away the dry feeling from his throat with half a liter of beer, he had a feeling that it had been worth it, after all.
***
• Kaoru/Toshiya
• PG
• prompt: meeting at night
It had been long since the last time Kaoru had seen snow. Not that weird, dirty mass on the roadsides that people called snow but real, honest and pure white snow falling from the sky in big fluffy flakes. When he looked up, it almost looked like the stars were falling down, hitting his forehead, cold on his skin. He had the sudden impulse to open his mouth and try to catch the flakes but he resisted. Who knew, someone might be watching him and he would rather step forward and jump off the rooftop he was standing on than to make a fool out of himself.
It made him flinch and almost jump off the roof anyways when a soft voice carried over the distant sounds of traffic from the street below. "C'mon." It only took one word and he relaxed again, recognizing the voice and the familiar presence. "You're not here to catch snowflakes, now are you?" Kaoru smiled when a pair of long arms was wrapped around his midsection, his thick winter jacket riding up a bit as he was pulled closer.
"No." He shook his head a bit, and he didn't need to turn to know that Toshiya was smiling at the response. "I was waiting for you to catch me."
***
• Kaoru/Toshiya
• PG
• prompt: here
Kaoru is the type of person who lives in the moment. He has never understood the incredible need some people seem to have in preserving their surroundings, their life, through pictures and diaries and these little booklets full of memories. He keeps the important memories in his head, no need for any scrapbooks there. While Toshiya is the exact opposite to him. Ever since Kaoru has known him, he’s been one to religiously collect important memories into his book. Now, after ten years it’s probably the fifteenth book at least but they all look the same: black leather binding, natural white pages and nothing else, just ready to be used and to include pictures and snippets of life.
He has always teased Toshiya about that, the books. Such a girly thing to do. Yet sometimes, when he’s home alone and he misses the other man so much it feels the lump inside of him will grow suffocating, he digs out the current book from the top shelf of the bedroom closet. Secretly, he takes a peek inside, sees what the latest additions are and what moments the bassist considered important enough to be added to his manuscript. He runs his fingers over the pages, feels the torn edges of the pieces of paper glued there, the cool surface of the photographs, all in an order that is strict in its chaos. Sometimes, he digs out an older book, smiles at the picture of pure mess in their first recording studio, feels his cheeks still grow hot as he looks at the picture of the park where they first kissed, so unexpectedly.
It might be a girly thing to do. And Kaoru will never stop teasing Toshiya about it. But deep down inside he is glad that the other man keeps on making those books. Keeps on memorizing their lives for them.
***
• Shinya/Kyo
• PG
• prompt: here
It’s raining outside and somehow the dark blue and black beneath the window creates an enticing contrast with the warm lights flickering inside of their comfortably heated tourbus. The lights are still on, although most of the bunch has long ago retreated to their bunks to gain at least a bit of sleep while they’re making headway on the bumpy roads. Kyo can’t sleep though. These past days he’s been feeling increasingly restless, unable to calm down and focus on just about anything. He’s not one to wear his emotions on his face though, he knows he covers it well. In fact, he doubts that anyone has realized the low of his mood yet.
He’s wrong. And if he would’ve thought about it for longer he should’ve realized that too. There is no way that even the slightest change in his mood could escape Shinya’s watchful eye, no matter what he’d try. At first he had thought that Shinya was just good at reading people, which was true to some extent, but with time he had grown to realize that it was partly just connected to him. Shinya was good at reading him. Whenever he was brooding somewhere, pretending to be all casual, the drummer wasn’t far away and would always offer support in his own silent way.
Even now, Kyo has barely managed to get through with the trail of his thoughts before he feels the familiar presence beside him. He shifts, making room for Shinya who sits close – not too close to look suspicious and yet close enough for their shoulders to brush against each other ever so slightly. As ridiculous as it sounds, at least to Kyo… that is really all he needs to feel better.
***
• Kaoru/Shinya
• PG
• prompt: here
Not a single word breaks the silence as long fingers reach through the darkness, tracing over a tattooed shoulder. It’s like he is drawing every single picture again, following the paths of ink from the shoulder to the upper arm, slowly sliding downwards. Kaoru doesn’t even stir. He’s not usually this deep of a sleeper but he’s been exhausted lately, unable to sleep and not willing to even try. When he gets into those moods he feels like there’s too much to do and too little time, and sleep is always what he cuts down on first. Shinya knows it better than anyone. After all, he’s the one who has to watch the other man do this to himself. He’s the one who watches the dark circles grow under the older man’s eyes, who watches his shoulders slowly hunch with exhaustion.
Yet he knows there’s nothing he can do. Nothing anyone can do, since Kaoru simply doesn’t want to be helped. He doesn’t think there even is a problem. That makes the current moment even more precious for Shinya as he finally can watch the other man heal instead of pushing his limits, can watch him take the rest he needs. His every movement is almost tentative, careful not to wake Kaoru up or to disturb his sleep. He smiles as he brushes his fingertips over the guitarist’s lips, his cheek and his eyebrows, tracing his relaxed features like he was tracing his tattoos just a second ago. And he thinks, this is something he could get used to.
***
• Die/Toshiya
• PG
• prompt: silence
Ever since they had begun recording the new album, everyone had felt swamped by work, more stressed out than ever thus far. Quickly, it had led them all to different ways to release the pent up frustration, to calm down the best they could. It wasn’t that uncommon to see both Die and Toshiya vanish to the rooftop during every short break. The rest of the bandmembers never followed them during those moments, knowing better than to interfere when they all were aware of what was going on between those two. They had never really said it, not out loud, but when there was no one else to see but the ones they trusted, it was well visible in every small gesture, every short glance they exchanged. Kaoru mumbled something about not wanting to be scarred for life when he headed down to smoke a cigarette instead of the roof that was a bit closer, followed shortly by the small vocalist.
What was going on at the rooftop then? Nothing that the others imagined at least. Die was standing right beside the railing, leaning his elbows on it as he stretched his back, a cigarette dangling between his full lips. He didn’t even flinch when a large palm was rested on his waist, a little above his hip, long fingers pushing into the gap between his belt and his shirt to touch warm skin. That was the furthest it got. They were smoking in silence, that single touch everything that passed between them. Yet it was more than enough. When Die finished his cigarette he shifted just a little bit closer, until his shoulder was brushing against Toshiya’s chest, as if he was trying to find shelter from the cool wind. Instantly he was pulled closer, just slightly, the movement barely there. A moment later they would both return inside, the tension gone from their shoulders and the sparkle back in their eyes.
***
***
• Kyo/Die
• NC17
• prompt: “torn apart”
Die can hardly move. Tied to the bed, ropes cutting deep into the soft flesh of his wrists, of his ankles, his legs forced apart further than they would go. There are tears of frustration forming in his eyes, rolling down his cheeks, as time and time again his body is denied what it is craving for, what it needs desperately. He feels like dying, and he knows it’s exactly what Kyo is aiming for.
It’s exactly what he needs. What they both need.
After every heated argument they need to burn off the anger, to sweat off the poisonous malice from their system. Die used to be scared, thinking that the almost violent clashes of their stubborn personalities would end up tearing them apart in the end. It was before they learned their own way to deal with it. Now, every argument leads to heated kisses, eager hands roaming over every inch of uncovered skin until neither of them can hold back any longer.
Often Die finds himself restricted, tied down for his lover to do with as he wishes. He lets it happen, throws himself into the moment since he knows why it has to be like this. At the same time, Kyo is both punishing him and apologizing. He makes him go through hell, only to show him a glimpse of heaven. They both can deal with their guilt and their anger this way, the mixed sensations of the moment parallel to the mixed feelings.
When the pain shoots through Die’s nerve tracks, into every fibre of his being, he can only scream. Yet he focuses on the shared warmth, on the raw attack turning into mutual desire, something they both feed off of.
And when Kyo touches him, he knows they leave the pain behind.
***
• Die/Kyo
• PG13
• prompt: “so fucking cute”
When Die first saw Kyo, he thought that the other man was extremely adorable. Yes, he was trying to look cool and had the whole monster-do to him, messed hair and awful make-up that tried to make him look like a demon. Only that if one asked Die, he looked more like a funny little goblin that had escaped the woods and was now lost somewhere in the bright city. He knew better than to say it out loud, especially when the vocalist was so keen on keeping up a believable appearance, and of course he didn't want to make a fool out of him.
Still, the thought didn't leave Die, not even when years passed and the ways to shock changed. Kyo went from the goblin-make up through the whole cavalcade of self-harm and extreme tricks, fake blood mixing with the real deal. Sometimes it was scary, made Die want to beg for the younger man to stop and yet he knew better. There was nothing to stop the creative flow as everyone seemed to be calling it.
Only when after all those years, Die finally caught a glimpse of what was beneath that surface, he knew what he had to do. It wasn't easy to make things work, not with two as stubborn persons as they were, and yet there was more will to make it than there were obstacles thrown at them. He felt honored, to see sides in Kyo that no one else was allowed to witness, to see to the very core of the enigma he had created of himself.
Yet, the more Die saw the more his first impression seemed to strengthen. Kyo was simply goddamn adorable. Whether he wanted it or not.
***
• Kaoru/Die
• PG13
• prompt: word of the day #6 “narthex” from
inspireaspirexxSomehow, Die had always hated churches. Not because he would have anything against religion in itself, although he wasn't exactly keen on that either, he wasn't even Christian. There just was something in churches that made him feel small, unimportant and powerless and that was something he hated. Being surrounded by the massive sculptures and paintings that obviously served a higher purpose, made him uneasy with painful efficiency. It never failed.
Knowing this, it wasn't exactly a surprise that he protested, rather loudly, when Kaoru decided they would visit an impressive catholic church. Granted, Prague was famous for its churches and they all had heard much of them and of the brilliant architecture. Kyo had already disappeared on his "church round" when everyone else had been asleep in the early mornings, and both Toshiya and Shinya had announced they would use the evening to go see at least one before checking out the nightlife the city offered.
Die didn't understand anything about great architecture though. Nor did he want to. He tried to subtly suggest that they could just grab a beer somewhere, enjoy the day and hell, he'd rather sit in one of those horse carriages for a sightseeing round. Yet Kaoru was stubborn, he had decided he wanted to see churches so there was nothing anyone could do about that. Not even Die.
Several hours and seven churches later, Die's feet hurt and his mind was swirling with crosses and sculptures and paintings of everything from baby Jesus to dying Jesus. He still hated churches. But when he got to sit down next to Kaoru, who was smiling obviously happily, and wash away the dry feeling from his throat with half a liter of beer, he had a feeling that it had been worth it, after all.
***
• Kaoru/Toshiya
• PG
• prompt: meeting at night
It had been long since the last time Kaoru had seen snow. Not that weird, dirty mass on the roadsides that people called snow but real, honest and pure white snow falling from the sky in big fluffy flakes. When he looked up, it almost looked like the stars were falling down, hitting his forehead, cold on his skin. He had the sudden impulse to open his mouth and try to catch the flakes but he resisted. Who knew, someone might be watching him and he would rather step forward and jump off the rooftop he was standing on than to make a fool out of himself.
It made him flinch and almost jump off the roof anyways when a soft voice carried over the distant sounds of traffic from the street below. "C'mon." It only took one word and he relaxed again, recognizing the voice and the familiar presence. "You're not here to catch snowflakes, now are you?" Kaoru smiled when a pair of long arms was wrapped around his midsection, his thick winter jacket riding up a bit as he was pulled closer.
"No." He shook his head a bit, and he didn't need to turn to know that Toshiya was smiling at the response. "I was waiting for you to catch me."
***
• Kaoru/Toshiya
• PG
• prompt: here
Kaoru is the type of person who lives in the moment. He has never understood the incredible need some people seem to have in preserving their surroundings, their life, through pictures and diaries and these little booklets full of memories. He keeps the important memories in his head, no need for any scrapbooks there. While Toshiya is the exact opposite to him. Ever since Kaoru has known him, he’s been one to religiously collect important memories into his book. Now, after ten years it’s probably the fifteenth book at least but they all look the same: black leather binding, natural white pages and nothing else, just ready to be used and to include pictures and snippets of life.
He has always teased Toshiya about that, the books. Such a girly thing to do. Yet sometimes, when he’s home alone and he misses the other man so much it feels the lump inside of him will grow suffocating, he digs out the current book from the top shelf of the bedroom closet. Secretly, he takes a peek inside, sees what the latest additions are and what moments the bassist considered important enough to be added to his manuscript. He runs his fingers over the pages, feels the torn edges of the pieces of paper glued there, the cool surface of the photographs, all in an order that is strict in its chaos. Sometimes, he digs out an older book, smiles at the picture of pure mess in their first recording studio, feels his cheeks still grow hot as he looks at the picture of the park where they first kissed, so unexpectedly.
It might be a girly thing to do. And Kaoru will never stop teasing Toshiya about it. But deep down inside he is glad that the other man keeps on making those books. Keeps on memorizing their lives for them.
***
• Shinya/Kyo
• PG
• prompt: here
It’s raining outside and somehow the dark blue and black beneath the window creates an enticing contrast with the warm lights flickering inside of their comfortably heated tourbus. The lights are still on, although most of the bunch has long ago retreated to their bunks to gain at least a bit of sleep while they’re making headway on the bumpy roads. Kyo can’t sleep though. These past days he’s been feeling increasingly restless, unable to calm down and focus on just about anything. He’s not one to wear his emotions on his face though, he knows he covers it well. In fact, he doubts that anyone has realized the low of his mood yet.
He’s wrong. And if he would’ve thought about it for longer he should’ve realized that too. There is no way that even the slightest change in his mood could escape Shinya’s watchful eye, no matter what he’d try. At first he had thought that Shinya was just good at reading people, which was true to some extent, but with time he had grown to realize that it was partly just connected to him. Shinya was good at reading him. Whenever he was brooding somewhere, pretending to be all casual, the drummer wasn’t far away and would always offer support in his own silent way.
Even now, Kyo has barely managed to get through with the trail of his thoughts before he feels the familiar presence beside him. He shifts, making room for Shinya who sits close – not too close to look suspicious and yet close enough for their shoulders to brush against each other ever so slightly. As ridiculous as it sounds, at least to Kyo… that is really all he needs to feel better.
***
• Kaoru/Shinya
• PG
• prompt: here
Not a single word breaks the silence as long fingers reach through the darkness, tracing over a tattooed shoulder. It’s like he is drawing every single picture again, following the paths of ink from the shoulder to the upper arm, slowly sliding downwards. Kaoru doesn’t even stir. He’s not usually this deep of a sleeper but he’s been exhausted lately, unable to sleep and not willing to even try. When he gets into those moods he feels like there’s too much to do and too little time, and sleep is always what he cuts down on first. Shinya knows it better than anyone. After all, he’s the one who has to watch the other man do this to himself. He’s the one who watches the dark circles grow under the older man’s eyes, who watches his shoulders slowly hunch with exhaustion.
Yet he knows there’s nothing he can do. Nothing anyone can do, since Kaoru simply doesn’t want to be helped. He doesn’t think there even is a problem. That makes the current moment even more precious for Shinya as he finally can watch the other man heal instead of pushing his limits, can watch him take the rest he needs. His every movement is almost tentative, careful not to wake Kaoru up or to disturb his sleep. He smiles as he brushes his fingertips over the guitarist’s lips, his cheek and his eyebrows, tracing his relaxed features like he was tracing his tattoos just a second ago. And he thinks, this is something he could get used to.
***
• Die/Toshiya
• PG
• prompt: silence
Ever since they had begun recording the new album, everyone had felt swamped by work, more stressed out than ever thus far. Quickly, it had led them all to different ways to release the pent up frustration, to calm down the best they could. It wasn’t that uncommon to see both Die and Toshiya vanish to the rooftop during every short break. The rest of the bandmembers never followed them during those moments, knowing better than to interfere when they all were aware of what was going on between those two. They had never really said it, not out loud, but when there was no one else to see but the ones they trusted, it was well visible in every small gesture, every short glance they exchanged. Kaoru mumbled something about not wanting to be scarred for life when he headed down to smoke a cigarette instead of the roof that was a bit closer, followed shortly by the small vocalist.
What was going on at the rooftop then? Nothing that the others imagined at least. Die was standing right beside the railing, leaning his elbows on it as he stretched his back, a cigarette dangling between his full lips. He didn’t even flinch when a large palm was rested on his waist, a little above his hip, long fingers pushing into the gap between his belt and his shirt to touch warm skin. That was the furthest it got. They were smoking in silence, that single touch everything that passed between them. Yet it was more than enough. When Die finished his cigarette he shifted just a little bit closer, until his shoulder was brushing against Toshiya’s chest, as if he was trying to find shelter from the cool wind. Instantly he was pulled closer, just slightly, the movement barely there. A moment later they would both return inside, the tension gone from their shoulders and the sparkle back in their eyes.
***