rabenhorst (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rabenhorst) wrote2009-07-28 02:50 pm
rabenhorst) wrote2009-07-28 02:50 pm
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Title: Spring; Chapter 9: Surprise
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
seinen_no and fonulyn
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Die and Kaoru
Disclaimer: We own no one, only our dirty imaginations.
Summary: Kaoru is the most popular guy at the whole school, the student council and a straight A student, leading a life that most people consider perfect and flawless. Die is a happy-go-lucky, lazy average student who more likes to concentrate on enjoying life rather than giving all of his time for studying. When the latter is about to fail physics amongst some other subjects, the former is hired to give him private lessons. The boys don’t exactly like each other to begin with though…
Comments:
seinen_no: Hey ladies! Summerbreak's over! Or more, my holidays are over and I have to get used to the thought of working again one day. So I will try to pick up my 'duties' on LJ again too XD Hope you all had such stunning holidays as I had and that you enjoyed yourselves to no end. It's good to be back though, 'cause I missed all the nice comments and the random fangirling with you :D
fonulyn: So, finally we are back with the next chapter! It’s been ages, I know, and we failed to inform people that we’d be away for summer holidays x) But hopefully you still remember where the story was and what was going on with it XD At least we let them make up after the fight already, so you didn’t need to wait ages for that! And please, do enjoy the next instalment ;D
And feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive .
Previously happened: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8
Chapter 9: Surprise
The following days went by in a haze for Kaoru as he was so high, so much in love and couldn't deny that he would like to try the sex-part again soon since he was certain it would get better for both of them. At least he was relieved that it didn't seem to have been as painful for Die as he had feared in the beginning. Still, when the teenagers met at their hideout, they didn't talk about it much and rather went over to making out; both happy that they were back to where they had been before.
Besides, somehow the trust between them seemed to have strengthened even more and it made relaxing easier. Though, whenever Kaoru indicated that he would want to go all the way again, Die dodged. His first excuse had been that he was still sore from the first time which Kaoru did believe, but with the passing time, the excuses became less believable until the older teen began to think he maybe was too pushy and should give his boyfriend time to process what had happened.
The truth was that Die was scared. The first time had hurt much more than he had assumed it would and he was afraid it would hurt just as much if they would go for it again. He wanted to be close to Kaoru, wanted to be intimate with him too, but every time he even thought about going all the way again he became nervous, remembered the searing pain from the first time. He thought he should talk about it with his boyfriend but in the end he was too ashamed, didn't know even how to address the topic. It was bothering him more and more though. He was running out of excuses and didn't even want to keep Kaoru at a distance like that.
It wasn't like he shoved Kaoru away though. Maybe that was the reason why his boyfriend never urged the topic more as they found other ways to please each other and it was still like exploring new territory. Only that they had gone all the way already didn't mean that they would have to do it again quickly. Besides, if Die would have asked, Kaoru would have told him he could try the other way around too, but he never did.
One afternoon, Kyo and Die were sitting on the swings of a nearby playground, the smaller one eyed his friend intensely. "Won't you finally tell me please?!? You're getting on my dick when you're quiet like that," he barked annoyed.
The redhead startled at the harsh voice that cut the silence, but offered his friend a small smile when he turned to look at him. "I'm sorry. I was just... thinking." He tried to shrug it off, but the urge to talk to someone about it was growing stronger every second.
"Blabla. You're 'thinking' for quite some time already. Don't tell me you've become an intellectual now. And I know you skipped the baseball game although you've been babbling about it for like three weeks." Kyo glared at him. "I thought you and Kaoru are back together and everything's fine..."
"We are! And everything is fine." Die tried his best happy smile but it was clearly forced. "We haven't been arguing after we made up and everything is all good." He nodded a bit, and was ready to add something else but then closed his mouth at the last moment.
"Well, then I don't see a reason for your brooding," the smaller one concluded. "Or is there something else? Something with your parents or with a chick or what? C'mon, we're friends, aren't we and I can't enjoy hanging out with you when you are like this."
The redhead fell silent for a while, but then took a deep breath and began explaining, his gaze averted down to his shoes. "When we made up after the argument, we did it." He hadn't told his friend yet about that they had gone all the way, and now just assumed he would know what he was talking about. He had been too bothered by how much it hadn't met his expectations so he had needed time to process it himself, not telling anyone yet.
"And it wasn't good?" Kyo asked, thinking Die would have acted differently if it had been the perfect moment. "But Die, the first time never is good. I told you. There's no need to brood over that. Just get back into the saddle and try again."
"It fucking hurts," the redhead quickly explained, turning to look at his friend seriously. "And I don't mean just a bit. I felt like I was seriously tearing apart." That was it, now it was out and he wasn't the only one anymore who knew it hadn't been that good for him.
"But -" The smaller teen didn't finish the sentence, only tried to think about something he could tell his friend to make him feel better. "Does Kaoru know that? I mean, maybe you just have to be more careful the next time or then do it the other way around. Maybe you weren't prepared enough. I told you it sometimes hurts girls badly too..."
"I don't know what's the thing... It's not like we did it without prepping or anything, and he was trying to be gentle with me," Die explained further, his voice silent and he had returned to staring at his shoes. "And I don't wanna try the other way around since what if it hurts him as much, or even more? I... I don't wanna scare him away."
Kyo stopped the swing completely by putting his feet on the ground. "But Die..." His voice was considerably softer than before. "Don't you think he deserves to know? I mean, doesn't he want to do it again? What do you tell him?"
The initial answer was a huge sigh. "I've been trying to find excuses," Die confessed honestly. "I... I don't know how to tell him. He asked me, straight after, and I told him it didn't hurt much. How can I now say the exact opposite?"
The answer was a shrug. "Well, you could tell him the truth. That you didn't want to hurt him and that you first thought it hadn't been that bad really." Kyo was trying his best to give advices although it made him feel a bit itchy as he hadn't been in such a situation before himself. "He will understand." Somehow Kyo was sure of that, although he couldn't tell why.
"But I..." Die already protested but then realized that he didn't really even know what to say. "I would really wanna do it again. But if it hurts so much..."
"Hey..." In a friendly gesture, Kyo put his hand on his shoulder. "It won't. I'm sure of that. From now on, it'll get better and better until it doesn't hurt at all anymore. You just have to get over your fears and try again. Tell Kaoru to be very gentle with you."
"You think so?" The redhead turned to look the other one in the eye, like searching for confirmation for the words still. Already talking about it had made him feel better, and he was determined to talk to Kaoru about the matter.
"I believe so." Kyo smiled at him. "C'mon, how can all the gays in the world be wrong, huh?" He chuckled a bit and slapped his friend's shoulder.
"But maybe I'm the exception that confirms the rule?" Die chuckled a bit, not meaning the words that seriously. He appreciated the fact that Kyo was always there to listen to him, and he didn't know how he had deserved such a good friend.
"Yeah right. You're just an exceptional wimp, a true sissy who loves to whine and get all the attention." The blonde was grinning widely. "And I kinda would have bet that you're bottom at least the first time."
"Hey!" The redhead aimed a hit in the back of his friend's head, pretending to be hurt. "That wasn't a nice thing to say! I'm not that girly!"
"Aw, c'mon... You should've heard yourself just now," Kyo pulled a face, aiming to impersonate the redhead. "What if it hurts this much again? What if it always hurts like this..." He chuckled forcefully, easily dodging another hit from his friend. "You could've gone the easy way and just get it on with girls."
"Fuck you, Kyo, fuck you." Die rolled his eyes, sighing deeply. "You're just talking since you know YOU would never have the guts to go for it and you're ashamed."
"Ashamed?" The blonde frowned smirking. "I don't think so. Maybe I'm a bit uncomfortable with two guys in my direct proximity suddenly switching teams?" he suggested chuckling. "But hey, I grant you your luck and you know that."
"Yes, I know that. And that's the only reason why I'm not gonna beat you up now," the taller teenager laughed.
"That and because you're afraid I could turn tables and hurt you VERY much," his friend pointed out laughing.
"Nah, you're like half my size, midget, you couldn't hurt anyone," Die smirked, and as if to emphasize it he ruffled his friend's hair.
Kyo pouted, but allowed him to do that even as he thought Die had had a rough enough time and he wouldn't need to start a fight with him now. "Okay, so when are you going to meet Kaoru again?" he asked once they both had stopped laughing.
"Uhm... Tomorrow." The redhead answered with a small nod. "Yeah, since today he had this some weird-ass meeting and he said it might take long."
"You know. You two lead a life of a grown up. He's the successful businessman and you're the good housewife, staying at home and just waiting for him to return," the blonde remarked pondering. "But well," he smiled again, "if you see him tomorrow, then I suggest you get all comfortable and talk about it."
"If I'd be the good housewife I'd at least see him every night and get to sleep beside him..." Die pursed his lips, pouting a bit but then smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I'll do that. I'll talk to him." He was determined to do that, and was certain Kaoru would understand.
This time it was Kyo's turn to ruffle his friend's hair. "Just wait a bit and you get to sleep beside him and wake up next to him every damn morning for as long as you want to." He tried to make it sound as depreciative as possible, but didn't succeed as he had to laugh again just because he could imagine those two staying together for a long time at least.
"I'll hold you to that promise! And if it doesn't work out, I'm gonna strangle ya." Die laughed, shaking his head a bit. He couldn't deny that he liked the thought, a lot, and definitely wouldn't mind.
Finally, the talk had enabled Die to relax and enjoy his time with his friend again. Kyo and he decided to go to the movies and out to some club afterwards because the redhead felt like releasing some of the pent up tension through moving on the dance-floor.
Finally when Die got to bed in the night he was somewhat bouncy, happy that things seemed to look up and that he would get everything off his chest finally. He was a tiny bit nervous about how the talk would turn out, but that didn't make him less determined.
The next day, he would meet Kaoru anyways and although both would have loved to go clubbing together, they feared to reveal too much and cause even more rumors than there were about them already. So they had decided to meet at the hideout, the older teen coming there straight after class. He had told his mother he would stay over at Die's place and Die had told his mother he'd stay with Kaoru; the perfect alibi.
The redhead had gone to their secret place already a lot earlier, bringing food for them since they planned to stay there the whole evening and night even, and he wanted to be prepared. He had also hauled some blankets there in case it would get cold, and now was sitting on the mattress and just waited for his boyfriend to appear.
It was getting dark rapidly, but Kaoru would have found the way even when blindfolded. Not long after he had said goodbye to his fellow students, he was already climbing through the broken window into the old house. "Die?" he asked while going along the corridor into the living-room where he instantly spotted the other teen. A smile crept on his face. "Damn, you already brought everything? I got us a couple of beers and sandwiches," he announced chuckling, dropped his backpack on the floor and sat down on their mattress to give his boyfriend a short welcome-kiss.
It made Die's smile widen even more and he nodded instantly. "I thought I can very well get everything ready here while you're studying." He patted the place beside himself to tell the other to sit down there. "And I was again counting hours until you're here."
"It feels good to know that you're waiting for me," the smaller teen admitted and leaned a bit against his boyfriend, smiling widely. "But it's much better to have you here in my arms now." As if to emphasize his words, he wrapped one arm around Die's shoulders, pulling him close.
That made the redhead sigh contently and he rested his head on the other one's shoulder, closing his eyes. It felt good to be in love, and he felt oddly content just being with Kaoru like this. "You think we could spend one weekend here? Just the two of us?"
"Yeah." Kaoru nodded smiling. "I think that would be nice. We could tell our parents we go camping and then just hide here." Indeed, it might be possible for them to get a full free weekend after the summer as the older teen honestly was determined to cut down on his activities a bit.
"That'd be so cool!" Die nodded a bit as well, his smile widening. "No one here to disturb us and all. And I'd have you all for myself." He tilted his head, stealing a deep kiss.
It didn't fail to make Kaoru's heart flutter, his knees go weak. He honestly loved the redhead and that feeling alone was like being on drugs, as if he was walking in the clouds. "We'd need a lot of condoms though," he joked, but had chosen to put it that way as he knew what a delicate topic that seemed to be between them.
The younger one fell silent for a second but then just flashed a smile, stealing another short kiss. "Yeah, definitely!" He pushed his boyfriend down on the mattress to lie on his back and then snuggled close to him, wrapping one arm around his waist. He wanted to talk about his fears, but didn't know how to start and therefore didn't speak yet.
The light was dim in there, only two lanterns and a few candles offering their flickering light. Kaoru liked the mood it created, loved to watch the shadows dance on the ceiling and let his mind wander. Absently, he began to stroke Die's hair, somehow feeling that something bothered him and still not wanting to push him.
Finally Die had managed to collect enough courage to speak and tentatively broke the silence. "Kao..? I wanted to talk to you about that, you know..."
"About sex?" the older teen guessed and tilted his head a bit to be able to look into Die's face.
"Yeah." The younger one gave a tentative smile, locking their gazes. "I've been... kinda... dodging the topic lately."
"I noticed." Kaoru tried to sound as calm as possible although he couldn't deny that he was getting slightly nervous. "It wasn't good for you, was it?" he took a wild guess, but hugged the other one closer to show him that he wouldn't be angry, no matter what the answer was.
Die startled a bit as he hadn't expected Kaoru to know it, had thought he had covered it well enough. "Yeah, kinda...," he admitted, thinking for a second before going on. "It hurt more than I thought it would. I mean... it really did hurt a lot."
"But Die," the older teen looked him straight in the eyes, "why didn't you tell me right away? You know you can tell me anything. When you didn't want to try again afterwards, I assumed that something had to be wrong, but then thought it was maybe only my imagination." He smiled a bit, lifting his head to look at the other one from another angle. "I can be on the bottom too."
"But it wouldn't solve anything, would it?" Die answered, shifting a bit until he was almost lying on top of his lover. "I know we can do it the other way around too, and I do wanna try it once. But... I need to first get over the fear. If I push it too long it'll just get worse and I... I really want to learn to enjoy it. With you." He hoped he made some sense and that the other understood what he meant. "I wanted to tell you instantly but I didn't wanna scare you... And I didn't want to push you away again."
Kaoru chuckled dryly. "Usually, I would have been hurt now. I mean, it's supposed to be good for you and you just told me that I sucked... That's not very nice." Despite his words, he was smiling though and quickly pecked the redhead's lips to keep him from replying anything. "But then, at the same time, this was the nicest thing you could have said." Planting a kiss on the younger one's cheek, he whispered. "I will be as gentle as possible the next time and we won't rush it again."
He was rewarded with a gentle kiss and Die's eyes were sparkling as he pulled back. "Thank you." He was smiling, unable to stop as he felt utterly relieved and happy right now. "And I'm sorry I didn't tell you instantly."
"Just promise me to tell me whenever something bothers you. As an exchange I promise to never skin you for it, okay?" his boyfriend asked smiling. Suddenly, he hushed for a moment though and bit his lower lip. "Actually, I wanted to tell you something too, because I think you didn't realize it really. I- I mean you-" Suddenly the courage seemed to leave him as this just sounded too stupid in his ears, but after taking a deep breath, he got out. "You were my first too. My first kiss, my first sex and not only my first guy."
The redhead looked more than surprised, his eyes widening and he looked at the other teen for a moment before stuttering out. "You? But I- You- I mean..." He chuckled a bit at himself. "I thought you had already done it with some hot chick from your class."
"No." Blushing a deep red, Kaoru shook his head. "I kinda never had the nerves to actually date." It wasn't even a lie as he had always had so many other activities that he had been glad once he could hide in his room and didn't have to meet anyone. "Besides, all the girls expected me to be this polite, perfect guy and I couldn't deliver that; or didn't want to."
"Oh, but you are the perfect guy," Die informed grinning and leaned in to initiate a deep, playful kiss. When they parted a long while later he was still smiling brightly. "That's kinda a relief, you know. We can be totally inexperienced and sucky together."
"So far it seems that it was only me who sucked," Kaoru pointed out grinning. It was amazing how much at ease Die made him feel, how much he trusted him. He just took him as he was, didn't demand him to meet some outrageous expectations.
"Nah, you did everything right." The redhead shrugged a bit, nuzzling their noses together as he chuckled. "Maybe the first time is doomed to be bad? And you know," he informed quickly with a grin. "It doesn't matter if you don't get it right at once, I'll let you try as many times as it takes."
"Now that sounded REALLY encouraging," his boyfriend remarked with a theatrical undertone in his voice. "Maybe you should give me instructions the next time," he suggested, not being serious. "Tell me how and which way you like it."
"That'd be kinda impossible since I don't even know that myself yet," Die confessed easily, planting a whole bunch of small kisses on the other teen's lips and face. "All I know is that I want you!"
"I want you too. So much," Kaoru admitted and rolled over until he was almost lying on top of the other teen. Using the fact that he had Die pinned down underneath him, he grabbed a fistful of his hair and initiated a deep kiss.
A small, pleased mewl escaped the younger one and got drowned out in the kiss as he refused to let go of it. His arms were instantly wrapped around Kaoru's neck, keeping him in place and close. It was breathtaking, made both of them almost dizzy and still they kept the kiss going until they had to part to fill their lungs with the needed oxygen. "I couldn't have ever dated one of these annoying girls," Kaoru gave away grinning, his voice nothing but a whisper. "So I saved myself for you."
"Trust me, I appreciate that. Although," Die smirked, looking his boyfriend straight in the eyes. "It would've been kinda more flattering if they had been totally tempting and I STILL would've won."
"But hey, didn't you ever see the chicks who are lining up in front of my student's council bureau? They ARE totally hot and you still win big time compared to them." The older teen was grinning.
"Hm, now I'll have to start hanging around there to make sure the temptation won't get too big once and you try something with them." Die pursed his lips but was clearly not serious about it.
"Don't you trust my word?" Kaoru asked, his eyes huge and a mock-sad expression in them. "I love you and you only and I would never touch anybody nor let anybody else touch me." Not to let his smile show, he nuzzled his nose into the crook of his boyfriend's shoulder, content to just inhale his familiar scent.
"I just wanted to hear that," Die confessed with a grin, hugging the slightly smaller teen a bit closer to himself. "I don't want to share you now that I got my hands on you."
"If you ever fool around and I get to know it, I kill the other one, I swear!" Kaoru sounded serious and even meant it at least partly. He had no idea what he would do, but he knew that he was jealous.
"You're jealous, aren't you?" The younger teen tilted his head, a grin tugging his lips and he looked a bit too pleased about the fact even.
"Well... no." Kaoru chuckled and it was clear that he had been lying. Suddenly, he felt so very stupid, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to bear to see Die with somebody else. "Well ... yeah."
The words only made Die smile though, and he even rewarded the other one with a small kiss. "How jealous?" he asked, a certain sparkle in his eyes. He couldn't deny that somehow it made him feel good even, unique, to know that his boyfriend was jealous of him.
"Die!" Kaoru squirmed a bit, the question making him feel uncomfortable. "That's nothing we want to talk about right now, do we?" He tried to distract his boyfriend by beginning to plant small kisses along his neck, nibbling and biting the skin.
That indeed managed to distract the younger one and he closed his eyes, tilting his head to offer even more skin. He enjoyed small advances like those endlessly, just the knowledge that it was Kaoru who did this already made his heart beat a bit faster. "But I wanna know..." he whined half-heartedly still.
"Really?" Kaoru muttered. He was straddling the redhead's hips and, without ceasing his ministrations, began to unbutton his shirt. He liked to see his boyfriend in one of these shirts as they gave him a touch of coolness. Every inch of revealed skin was instantly welcomed by his lips and tongue. "Very jealous," he admitted when the shirt was finally open and he had reached the cuff of Die's pants.
The redhead had kept his eyes closed until now, but finally opened them and gazed straight at his boyfriend, grinning at him. "I kinda like that," he admitted honestly, although that was an understatement. "Don't wanna tell me more?" he asked with a small chuckle, tilting his head questioningly. Like as a hint he lifted his hips a bit though, signalling that the pants could go as well, follow the shirt.
Obediently, Kaoru fulfilled his wish, opened the pants and tugged them down. Like he had done with the shirt, he covered the revealed skin with kisses here too and once the jeans were lying on the floor, he gave the redhead a wicked grin, bringing his hand between his legs to rub the bulge he found in his boxers. "What do you want to know?" he asked, his cheeks flushed and the grin still there. Tentatively, he pulled down the cuff of the younger teen's boxers, planting small kisses right at the base of his length.
A set of small groans was falling from the redhead's lips and he instinctively arched up a bit to gain more of the pleasant friction. "I don't know..." he admitted, his voice slightly breathless if one listened carefully. "Maybe more about how jealous exactly you are." The grin was like glued to his lips, and he never wanted the moment to end.
"How jealous?" the older teen drawled and looked down when he finally freed Die's need, quickly working to get rid of the boxers completely. "I think," he purred, planting a wet kiss on the heated flesh. "If you ever allow anybody else to see you like this, I would go on a rampage."
Both the touch and the words made a shudder go through the younger one's being and he closed his eyes for a while to get a grip at least somewhat. "I would kinda like to see that," he commented, but had to add. "Although I doubt that'll ever happen..."
Suddenly, Kaoru's head snapped up and he looked at the other one with questioning eyes. "You would never cheat on me, would you?" He had fallen so hard that the mere thought alone caused an unpleasant twitch in his stomach and although deep down inside he knew that this might not last forever, he still pushed the thought aside as he wanted to believe it would.
Right now Die was deeply convinced that it would last forever, that they were perfect for each other. He had fallen in love with all the passion his young life had to offer and he didn't even want to waste too many thoughts on the future. It only took a split second for him to answer, his gaze honest as he smiled at his boyfriend. "No. I only wanna be with you."
The older teen mirrored the smile, leaning in to peck his boyfriend's lips softly. "Then I can tell you that I would beat the shit outta the other guy," he whispered. This was it, the real thing, the first time he had fallen in love with somebody; the first time somebody was more important to him than anything else, even his competition with his brother.
The words made Die smile, not because he wanted to see someone get beaten up but there simply was something in the way they were spoken that made him feel appreciated and loved. He used the moment when Kaoru was close enough to pull his shirt over his head, wanting to get him out of the disturbing clothes as well.
Kaoru raised his arms to help him, but then sneaked between Die's lean legs and bowed his head, coevally taking his lover's length in his palm. Offering a few strokes, he purred "After all," for a moment, he glanced up, a grin tugging his mouth again. "I want to make it feel good for you. So we need time to practice and I can't allow anybody else to take that away from me." Once the words had left his mouth, he took the tip of the arousal between his lips, sucking tentatively. Although outwardly he appeared cool and secure, inside him his heart was going a thousand miles an hour and he feared he could do something wrong, had no idea how hard he should suck, how to use his tongue.
Die had no idea about those insecurities though and he would've never guessed them. An outcry of pleasure escaped him and he threw his head back, a shudder going through his spine as the wet heat engulfed him. He had no words for it and even if he had had it wouldn't have done any good since his voice refused to work. It simply was more than good, made his heart spin already.
The reaction was more than the older teen would have expected and it caused a small groan to form in his throat too because it turned him on as well. Using one hand to stroke the arousal's base, he began to massage the loose skin with his tongue. Suddenly, all nervousness seemed to be gone since he was only focused on providing his boyfriend as much pleasure as possible.
The younger one was rapidly getting lost in the pleasurable feelings, the heat inside of him multiplying at an instant and he couldn't gather a clear thought anymore. All he knew was that he wanted more, wanted all he could get and wanted Kaoru. Absent-mindedly, Kaoru reached for Die's hand with his free one, folding their fingers. Somehow the touch symbolized the feelings between them, showed how close they were and how much they needed each other. His heart was still pounding madly, but at the same time, his pants were getting more and more uncomfortable.
Instantly Die squeezed the other teen's hand in his, holding on to him and trying to hold back since he didn't want this to be over, not yet. He lost the battle before it even really had begun though, and suddenly his whole being tensed when the pleasure flowed through him. Initially, Kaoru had planned to withdraw in time, but as the Die's bitter release filled his mouth, he found it far less disgusting than he would have thought. For some reason, there was even something sensual in it. So he swallowed everything before he let the arousal slip out of his mouth.
A bit out of breath, Kaoru just remained like that for a moment, holding onto his lover's hand as if it was his touch to reality, watching him and practically caressing his features with his gaze. The redhead held his eyes closed, concentrating on the pleasure and trying to catch his breath somewhat. He felt good, incredibly good, and although he had no words for it, he knew that they didn’t need any either. Not now.
Author:
seinen_no and fonulynRating: NC17
Pairing: Die and Kaoru
Disclaimer: We own no one, only our dirty imaginations.
Summary: Kaoru is the most popular guy at the whole school, the student council and a straight A student, leading a life that most people consider perfect and flawless. Die is a happy-go-lucky, lazy average student who more likes to concentrate on enjoying life rather than giving all of his time for studying. When the latter is about to fail physics amongst some other subjects, the former is hired to give him private lessons. The boys don’t exactly like each other to begin with though…
Comments:
seinen_no: Hey ladies! Summerbreak's over! Or more, my holidays are over and I have to get used to the thought of working again one day. So I will try to pick up my 'duties' on LJ again too XD Hope you all had such stunning holidays as I had and that you enjoyed yourselves to no end. It's good to be back though, 'cause I missed all the nice comments and the random fangirling with you :Dfonulyn: So, finally we are back with the next chapter! It’s been ages, I know, and we failed to inform people that we’d be away for summer holidays x) But hopefully you still remember where the story was and what was going on with it XD At least we let them make up after the fight already, so you didn’t need to wait ages for that! And please, do enjoy the next instalment ;DAnd feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive .
Previously happened: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8
The following days went by in a haze for Kaoru as he was so high, so much in love and couldn't deny that he would like to try the sex-part again soon since he was certain it would get better for both of them. At least he was relieved that it didn't seem to have been as painful for Die as he had feared in the beginning. Still, when the teenagers met at their hideout, they didn't talk about it much and rather went over to making out; both happy that they were back to where they had been before.
Besides, somehow the trust between them seemed to have strengthened even more and it made relaxing easier. Though, whenever Kaoru indicated that he would want to go all the way again, Die dodged. His first excuse had been that he was still sore from the first time which Kaoru did believe, but with the passing time, the excuses became less believable until the older teen began to think he maybe was too pushy and should give his boyfriend time to process what had happened.
The truth was that Die was scared. The first time had hurt much more than he had assumed it would and he was afraid it would hurt just as much if they would go for it again. He wanted to be close to Kaoru, wanted to be intimate with him too, but every time he even thought about going all the way again he became nervous, remembered the searing pain from the first time. He thought he should talk about it with his boyfriend but in the end he was too ashamed, didn't know even how to address the topic. It was bothering him more and more though. He was running out of excuses and didn't even want to keep Kaoru at a distance like that.
It wasn't like he shoved Kaoru away though. Maybe that was the reason why his boyfriend never urged the topic more as they found other ways to please each other and it was still like exploring new territory. Only that they had gone all the way already didn't mean that they would have to do it again quickly. Besides, if Die would have asked, Kaoru would have told him he could try the other way around too, but he never did.
One afternoon, Kyo and Die were sitting on the swings of a nearby playground, the smaller one eyed his friend intensely. "Won't you finally tell me please?!? You're getting on my dick when you're quiet like that," he barked annoyed.
The redhead startled at the harsh voice that cut the silence, but offered his friend a small smile when he turned to look at him. "I'm sorry. I was just... thinking." He tried to shrug it off, but the urge to talk to someone about it was growing stronger every second.
"Blabla. You're 'thinking' for quite some time already. Don't tell me you've become an intellectual now. And I know you skipped the baseball game although you've been babbling about it for like three weeks." Kyo glared at him. "I thought you and Kaoru are back together and everything's fine..."
"We are! And everything is fine." Die tried his best happy smile but it was clearly forced. "We haven't been arguing after we made up and everything is all good." He nodded a bit, and was ready to add something else but then closed his mouth at the last moment.
"Well, then I don't see a reason for your brooding," the smaller one concluded. "Or is there something else? Something with your parents or with a chick or what? C'mon, we're friends, aren't we and I can't enjoy hanging out with you when you are like this."
The redhead fell silent for a while, but then took a deep breath and began explaining, his gaze averted down to his shoes. "When we made up after the argument, we did it." He hadn't told his friend yet about that they had gone all the way, and now just assumed he would know what he was talking about. He had been too bothered by how much it hadn't met his expectations so he had needed time to process it himself, not telling anyone yet.
"And it wasn't good?" Kyo asked, thinking Die would have acted differently if it had been the perfect moment. "But Die, the first time never is good. I told you. There's no need to brood over that. Just get back into the saddle and try again."
"It fucking hurts," the redhead quickly explained, turning to look at his friend seriously. "And I don't mean just a bit. I felt like I was seriously tearing apart." That was it, now it was out and he wasn't the only one anymore who knew it hadn't been that good for him.
"But -" The smaller teen didn't finish the sentence, only tried to think about something he could tell his friend to make him feel better. "Does Kaoru know that? I mean, maybe you just have to be more careful the next time or then do it the other way around. Maybe you weren't prepared enough. I told you it sometimes hurts girls badly too..."
"I don't know what's the thing... It's not like we did it without prepping or anything, and he was trying to be gentle with me," Die explained further, his voice silent and he had returned to staring at his shoes. "And I don't wanna try the other way around since what if it hurts him as much, or even more? I... I don't wanna scare him away."
Kyo stopped the swing completely by putting his feet on the ground. "But Die..." His voice was considerably softer than before. "Don't you think he deserves to know? I mean, doesn't he want to do it again? What do you tell him?"
The initial answer was a huge sigh. "I've been trying to find excuses," Die confessed honestly. "I... I don't know how to tell him. He asked me, straight after, and I told him it didn't hurt much. How can I now say the exact opposite?"
The answer was a shrug. "Well, you could tell him the truth. That you didn't want to hurt him and that you first thought it hadn't been that bad really." Kyo was trying his best to give advices although it made him feel a bit itchy as he hadn't been in such a situation before himself. "He will understand." Somehow Kyo was sure of that, although he couldn't tell why.
"But I..." Die already protested but then realized that he didn't really even know what to say. "I would really wanna do it again. But if it hurts so much..."
"Hey..." In a friendly gesture, Kyo put his hand on his shoulder. "It won't. I'm sure of that. From now on, it'll get better and better until it doesn't hurt at all anymore. You just have to get over your fears and try again. Tell Kaoru to be very gentle with you."
"You think so?" The redhead turned to look the other one in the eye, like searching for confirmation for the words still. Already talking about it had made him feel better, and he was determined to talk to Kaoru about the matter.
"I believe so." Kyo smiled at him. "C'mon, how can all the gays in the world be wrong, huh?" He chuckled a bit and slapped his friend's shoulder.
"But maybe I'm the exception that confirms the rule?" Die chuckled a bit, not meaning the words that seriously. He appreciated the fact that Kyo was always there to listen to him, and he didn't know how he had deserved such a good friend.
"Yeah right. You're just an exceptional wimp, a true sissy who loves to whine and get all the attention." The blonde was grinning widely. "And I kinda would have bet that you're bottom at least the first time."
"Hey!" The redhead aimed a hit in the back of his friend's head, pretending to be hurt. "That wasn't a nice thing to say! I'm not that girly!"
"Aw, c'mon... You should've heard yourself just now," Kyo pulled a face, aiming to impersonate the redhead. "What if it hurts this much again? What if it always hurts like this..." He chuckled forcefully, easily dodging another hit from his friend. "You could've gone the easy way and just get it on with girls."
"Fuck you, Kyo, fuck you." Die rolled his eyes, sighing deeply. "You're just talking since you know YOU would never have the guts to go for it and you're ashamed."
"Ashamed?" The blonde frowned smirking. "I don't think so. Maybe I'm a bit uncomfortable with two guys in my direct proximity suddenly switching teams?" he suggested chuckling. "But hey, I grant you your luck and you know that."
"Yes, I know that. And that's the only reason why I'm not gonna beat you up now," the taller teenager laughed.
"That and because you're afraid I could turn tables and hurt you VERY much," his friend pointed out laughing.
"Nah, you're like half my size, midget, you couldn't hurt anyone," Die smirked, and as if to emphasize it he ruffled his friend's hair.
Kyo pouted, but allowed him to do that even as he thought Die had had a rough enough time and he wouldn't need to start a fight with him now. "Okay, so when are you going to meet Kaoru again?" he asked once they both had stopped laughing.
"Uhm... Tomorrow." The redhead answered with a small nod. "Yeah, since today he had this some weird-ass meeting and he said it might take long."
"You know. You two lead a life of a grown up. He's the successful businessman and you're the good housewife, staying at home and just waiting for him to return," the blonde remarked pondering. "But well," he smiled again, "if you see him tomorrow, then I suggest you get all comfortable and talk about it."
"If I'd be the good housewife I'd at least see him every night and get to sleep beside him..." Die pursed his lips, pouting a bit but then smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I'll do that. I'll talk to him." He was determined to do that, and was certain Kaoru would understand.
This time it was Kyo's turn to ruffle his friend's hair. "Just wait a bit and you get to sleep beside him and wake up next to him every damn morning for as long as you want to." He tried to make it sound as depreciative as possible, but didn't succeed as he had to laugh again just because he could imagine those two staying together for a long time at least.
"I'll hold you to that promise! And if it doesn't work out, I'm gonna strangle ya." Die laughed, shaking his head a bit. He couldn't deny that he liked the thought, a lot, and definitely wouldn't mind.
Finally, the talk had enabled Die to relax and enjoy his time with his friend again. Kyo and he decided to go to the movies and out to some club afterwards because the redhead felt like releasing some of the pent up tension through moving on the dance-floor.
Finally when Die got to bed in the night he was somewhat bouncy, happy that things seemed to look up and that he would get everything off his chest finally. He was a tiny bit nervous about how the talk would turn out, but that didn't make him less determined.
The next day, he would meet Kaoru anyways and although both would have loved to go clubbing together, they feared to reveal too much and cause even more rumors than there were about them already. So they had decided to meet at the hideout, the older teen coming there straight after class. He had told his mother he would stay over at Die's place and Die had told his mother he'd stay with Kaoru; the perfect alibi.
The redhead had gone to their secret place already a lot earlier, bringing food for them since they planned to stay there the whole evening and night even, and he wanted to be prepared. He had also hauled some blankets there in case it would get cold, and now was sitting on the mattress and just waited for his boyfriend to appear.
It was getting dark rapidly, but Kaoru would have found the way even when blindfolded. Not long after he had said goodbye to his fellow students, he was already climbing through the broken window into the old house. "Die?" he asked while going along the corridor into the living-room where he instantly spotted the other teen. A smile crept on his face. "Damn, you already brought everything? I got us a couple of beers and sandwiches," he announced chuckling, dropped his backpack on the floor and sat down on their mattress to give his boyfriend a short welcome-kiss.
It made Die's smile widen even more and he nodded instantly. "I thought I can very well get everything ready here while you're studying." He patted the place beside himself to tell the other to sit down there. "And I was again counting hours until you're here."
"It feels good to know that you're waiting for me," the smaller teen admitted and leaned a bit against his boyfriend, smiling widely. "But it's much better to have you here in my arms now." As if to emphasize his words, he wrapped one arm around Die's shoulders, pulling him close.
That made the redhead sigh contently and he rested his head on the other one's shoulder, closing his eyes. It felt good to be in love, and he felt oddly content just being with Kaoru like this. "You think we could spend one weekend here? Just the two of us?"
"Yeah." Kaoru nodded smiling. "I think that would be nice. We could tell our parents we go camping and then just hide here." Indeed, it might be possible for them to get a full free weekend after the summer as the older teen honestly was determined to cut down on his activities a bit.
"That'd be so cool!" Die nodded a bit as well, his smile widening. "No one here to disturb us and all. And I'd have you all for myself." He tilted his head, stealing a deep kiss.
It didn't fail to make Kaoru's heart flutter, his knees go weak. He honestly loved the redhead and that feeling alone was like being on drugs, as if he was walking in the clouds. "We'd need a lot of condoms though," he joked, but had chosen to put it that way as he knew what a delicate topic that seemed to be between them.
The younger one fell silent for a second but then just flashed a smile, stealing another short kiss. "Yeah, definitely!" He pushed his boyfriend down on the mattress to lie on his back and then snuggled close to him, wrapping one arm around his waist. He wanted to talk about his fears, but didn't know how to start and therefore didn't speak yet.
The light was dim in there, only two lanterns and a few candles offering their flickering light. Kaoru liked the mood it created, loved to watch the shadows dance on the ceiling and let his mind wander. Absently, he began to stroke Die's hair, somehow feeling that something bothered him and still not wanting to push him.
Finally Die had managed to collect enough courage to speak and tentatively broke the silence. "Kao..? I wanted to talk to you about that, you know..."
"About sex?" the older teen guessed and tilted his head a bit to be able to look into Die's face.
"Yeah." The younger one gave a tentative smile, locking their gazes. "I've been... kinda... dodging the topic lately."
"I noticed." Kaoru tried to sound as calm as possible although he couldn't deny that he was getting slightly nervous. "It wasn't good for you, was it?" he took a wild guess, but hugged the other one closer to show him that he wouldn't be angry, no matter what the answer was.
Die startled a bit as he hadn't expected Kaoru to know it, had thought he had covered it well enough. "Yeah, kinda...," he admitted, thinking for a second before going on. "It hurt more than I thought it would. I mean... it really did hurt a lot."
"But Die," the older teen looked him straight in the eyes, "why didn't you tell me right away? You know you can tell me anything. When you didn't want to try again afterwards, I assumed that something had to be wrong, but then thought it was maybe only my imagination." He smiled a bit, lifting his head to look at the other one from another angle. "I can be on the bottom too."
"But it wouldn't solve anything, would it?" Die answered, shifting a bit until he was almost lying on top of his lover. "I know we can do it the other way around too, and I do wanna try it once. But... I need to first get over the fear. If I push it too long it'll just get worse and I... I really want to learn to enjoy it. With you." He hoped he made some sense and that the other understood what he meant. "I wanted to tell you instantly but I didn't wanna scare you... And I didn't want to push you away again."
Kaoru chuckled dryly. "Usually, I would have been hurt now. I mean, it's supposed to be good for you and you just told me that I sucked... That's not very nice." Despite his words, he was smiling though and quickly pecked the redhead's lips to keep him from replying anything. "But then, at the same time, this was the nicest thing you could have said." Planting a kiss on the younger one's cheek, he whispered. "I will be as gentle as possible the next time and we won't rush it again."
He was rewarded with a gentle kiss and Die's eyes were sparkling as he pulled back. "Thank you." He was smiling, unable to stop as he felt utterly relieved and happy right now. "And I'm sorry I didn't tell you instantly."
"Just promise me to tell me whenever something bothers you. As an exchange I promise to never skin you for it, okay?" his boyfriend asked smiling. Suddenly, he hushed for a moment though and bit his lower lip. "Actually, I wanted to tell you something too, because I think you didn't realize it really. I- I mean you-" Suddenly the courage seemed to leave him as this just sounded too stupid in his ears, but after taking a deep breath, he got out. "You were my first too. My first kiss, my first sex and not only my first guy."
The redhead looked more than surprised, his eyes widening and he looked at the other teen for a moment before stuttering out. "You? But I- You- I mean..." He chuckled a bit at himself. "I thought you had already done it with some hot chick from your class."
"No." Blushing a deep red, Kaoru shook his head. "I kinda never had the nerves to actually date." It wasn't even a lie as he had always had so many other activities that he had been glad once he could hide in his room and didn't have to meet anyone. "Besides, all the girls expected me to be this polite, perfect guy and I couldn't deliver that; or didn't want to."
"Oh, but you are the perfect guy," Die informed grinning and leaned in to initiate a deep, playful kiss. When they parted a long while later he was still smiling brightly. "That's kinda a relief, you know. We can be totally inexperienced and sucky together."
"So far it seems that it was only me who sucked," Kaoru pointed out grinning. It was amazing how much at ease Die made him feel, how much he trusted him. He just took him as he was, didn't demand him to meet some outrageous expectations.
"Nah, you did everything right." The redhead shrugged a bit, nuzzling their noses together as he chuckled. "Maybe the first time is doomed to be bad? And you know," he informed quickly with a grin. "It doesn't matter if you don't get it right at once, I'll let you try as many times as it takes."
"Now that sounded REALLY encouraging," his boyfriend remarked with a theatrical undertone in his voice. "Maybe you should give me instructions the next time," he suggested, not being serious. "Tell me how and which way you like it."
"That'd be kinda impossible since I don't even know that myself yet," Die confessed easily, planting a whole bunch of small kisses on the other teen's lips and face. "All I know is that I want you!"
"I want you too. So much," Kaoru admitted and rolled over until he was almost lying on top of the other teen. Using the fact that he had Die pinned down underneath him, he grabbed a fistful of his hair and initiated a deep kiss.
A small, pleased mewl escaped the younger one and got drowned out in the kiss as he refused to let go of it. His arms were instantly wrapped around Kaoru's neck, keeping him in place and close. It was breathtaking, made both of them almost dizzy and still they kept the kiss going until they had to part to fill their lungs with the needed oxygen. "I couldn't have ever dated one of these annoying girls," Kaoru gave away grinning, his voice nothing but a whisper. "So I saved myself for you."
"Trust me, I appreciate that. Although," Die smirked, looking his boyfriend straight in the eyes. "It would've been kinda more flattering if they had been totally tempting and I STILL would've won."
"But hey, didn't you ever see the chicks who are lining up in front of my student's council bureau? They ARE totally hot and you still win big time compared to them." The older teen was grinning.
"Hm, now I'll have to start hanging around there to make sure the temptation won't get too big once and you try something with them." Die pursed his lips but was clearly not serious about it.
"Don't you trust my word?" Kaoru asked, his eyes huge and a mock-sad expression in them. "I love you and you only and I would never touch anybody nor let anybody else touch me." Not to let his smile show, he nuzzled his nose into the crook of his boyfriend's shoulder, content to just inhale his familiar scent.
"I just wanted to hear that," Die confessed with a grin, hugging the slightly smaller teen a bit closer to himself. "I don't want to share you now that I got my hands on you."
"If you ever fool around and I get to know it, I kill the other one, I swear!" Kaoru sounded serious and even meant it at least partly. He had no idea what he would do, but he knew that he was jealous.
"You're jealous, aren't you?" The younger teen tilted his head, a grin tugging his lips and he looked a bit too pleased about the fact even.
"Well... no." Kaoru chuckled and it was clear that he had been lying. Suddenly, he felt so very stupid, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to bear to see Die with somebody else. "Well ... yeah."
The words only made Die smile though, and he even rewarded the other one with a small kiss. "How jealous?" he asked, a certain sparkle in his eyes. He couldn't deny that somehow it made him feel good even, unique, to know that his boyfriend was jealous of him.
"Die!" Kaoru squirmed a bit, the question making him feel uncomfortable. "That's nothing we want to talk about right now, do we?" He tried to distract his boyfriend by beginning to plant small kisses along his neck, nibbling and biting the skin.
That indeed managed to distract the younger one and he closed his eyes, tilting his head to offer even more skin. He enjoyed small advances like those endlessly, just the knowledge that it was Kaoru who did this already made his heart beat a bit faster. "But I wanna know..." he whined half-heartedly still.
"Really?" Kaoru muttered. He was straddling the redhead's hips and, without ceasing his ministrations, began to unbutton his shirt. He liked to see his boyfriend in one of these shirts as they gave him a touch of coolness. Every inch of revealed skin was instantly welcomed by his lips and tongue. "Very jealous," he admitted when the shirt was finally open and he had reached the cuff of Die's pants.
The redhead had kept his eyes closed until now, but finally opened them and gazed straight at his boyfriend, grinning at him. "I kinda like that," he admitted honestly, although that was an understatement. "Don't wanna tell me more?" he asked with a small chuckle, tilting his head questioningly. Like as a hint he lifted his hips a bit though, signalling that the pants could go as well, follow the shirt.
Obediently, Kaoru fulfilled his wish, opened the pants and tugged them down. Like he had done with the shirt, he covered the revealed skin with kisses here too and once the jeans were lying on the floor, he gave the redhead a wicked grin, bringing his hand between his legs to rub the bulge he found in his boxers. "What do you want to know?" he asked, his cheeks flushed and the grin still there. Tentatively, he pulled down the cuff of the younger teen's boxers, planting small kisses right at the base of his length.
A set of small groans was falling from the redhead's lips and he instinctively arched up a bit to gain more of the pleasant friction. "I don't know..." he admitted, his voice slightly breathless if one listened carefully. "Maybe more about how jealous exactly you are." The grin was like glued to his lips, and he never wanted the moment to end.
"How jealous?" the older teen drawled and looked down when he finally freed Die's need, quickly working to get rid of the boxers completely. "I think," he purred, planting a wet kiss on the heated flesh. "If you ever allow anybody else to see you like this, I would go on a rampage."
Both the touch and the words made a shudder go through the younger one's being and he closed his eyes for a while to get a grip at least somewhat. "I would kinda like to see that," he commented, but had to add. "Although I doubt that'll ever happen..."
Suddenly, Kaoru's head snapped up and he looked at the other one with questioning eyes. "You would never cheat on me, would you?" He had fallen so hard that the mere thought alone caused an unpleasant twitch in his stomach and although deep down inside he knew that this might not last forever, he still pushed the thought aside as he wanted to believe it would.
Right now Die was deeply convinced that it would last forever, that they were perfect for each other. He had fallen in love with all the passion his young life had to offer and he didn't even want to waste too many thoughts on the future. It only took a split second for him to answer, his gaze honest as he smiled at his boyfriend. "No. I only wanna be with you."
The older teen mirrored the smile, leaning in to peck his boyfriend's lips softly. "Then I can tell you that I would beat the shit outta the other guy," he whispered. This was it, the real thing, the first time he had fallen in love with somebody; the first time somebody was more important to him than anything else, even his competition with his brother.
The words made Die smile, not because he wanted to see someone get beaten up but there simply was something in the way they were spoken that made him feel appreciated and loved. He used the moment when Kaoru was close enough to pull his shirt over his head, wanting to get him out of the disturbing clothes as well.
Kaoru raised his arms to help him, but then sneaked between Die's lean legs and bowed his head, coevally taking his lover's length in his palm. Offering a few strokes, he purred "After all," for a moment, he glanced up, a grin tugging his mouth again. "I want to make it feel good for you. So we need time to practice and I can't allow anybody else to take that away from me." Once the words had left his mouth, he took the tip of the arousal between his lips, sucking tentatively. Although outwardly he appeared cool and secure, inside him his heart was going a thousand miles an hour and he feared he could do something wrong, had no idea how hard he should suck, how to use his tongue.
Die had no idea about those insecurities though and he would've never guessed them. An outcry of pleasure escaped him and he threw his head back, a shudder going through his spine as the wet heat engulfed him. He had no words for it and even if he had had it wouldn't have done any good since his voice refused to work. It simply was more than good, made his heart spin already.
The reaction was more than the older teen would have expected and it caused a small groan to form in his throat too because it turned him on as well. Using one hand to stroke the arousal's base, he began to massage the loose skin with his tongue. Suddenly, all nervousness seemed to be gone since he was only focused on providing his boyfriend as much pleasure as possible.
The younger one was rapidly getting lost in the pleasurable feelings, the heat inside of him multiplying at an instant and he couldn't gather a clear thought anymore. All he knew was that he wanted more, wanted all he could get and wanted Kaoru. Absent-mindedly, Kaoru reached for Die's hand with his free one, folding their fingers. Somehow the touch symbolized the feelings between them, showed how close they were and how much they needed each other. His heart was still pounding madly, but at the same time, his pants were getting more and more uncomfortable.
Instantly Die squeezed the other teen's hand in his, holding on to him and trying to hold back since he didn't want this to be over, not yet. He lost the battle before it even really had begun though, and suddenly his whole being tensed when the pleasure flowed through him. Initially, Kaoru had planned to withdraw in time, but as the Die's bitter release filled his mouth, he found it far less disgusting than he would have thought. For some reason, there was even something sensual in it. So he swallowed everything before he let the arousal slip out of his mouth.
A bit out of breath, Kaoru just remained like that for a moment, holding onto his lover's hand as if it was his touch to reality, watching him and practically caressing his features with his gaze. The redhead held his eyes closed, concentrating on the pleasure and trying to catch his breath somewhat. He felt good, incredibly good, and although he had no words for it, he knew that they didn’t need any either. Not now.