rabenhorst (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rabenhorst) wrote2009-05-18 07:41 pm
rabenhorst) wrote2009-05-18 07:41 pm
(no subject)
Title: Spring; Chapter 7: First Time
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
seinen_no and fonulyn
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Die and Kaoru
Disclaimer: We own no one, only our dirty imaginations.
Summary: Kaoru is the most popular guy at the whole school, the student council and a straight A student, leading a life that most people consider perfect and flawless. Die is a happy-go-lucky, lazy average student who more likes to concentrate on enjoying life rather than giving all of his time for studying. When the latter is about to fail physics amongst some other subjects, the former is hired to give him private lessons. The boys don’t exactly like each other to begin with though…
Comments:
seinen_no: Again I have to apologize for letting you wait so long. But hey, at least we come with a long, nice chapter of total sweetness and a tiny bit of lovin' too. Somehow, while I was re-reading this, this one song from A Chorus Line popped into my mind "First time we made love, it was a great, big deal. I was too scared to feel and nervous from trying…" Okay, with that I'm going to leave you^^
fonulyn: Okay so now we get one step closer to what some people at least have been waiting for XD You shall see how close! I’m really sorry too for the delay, but it seems that whenever we want to improve and begin posting more quickly, the real life has something nasty in store for us and screws things up :/ Buuut hopefully this’ll now make up for the delay, at least somewhat. Do enjoy!
And feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive .
Previously happened: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6
Chapter 7: First Time
The next morning neither of them woke up before the alarm and when it went off it was hard for them to drag themselves out of bed. Kaoru had to run not to be late for school, and Die had to just get his sister breakfast and look after her until his parents would be back.
On his way to school, the older teen called his boyfriend from his mobile, only to tell him that he still had enjoyed being with him, although their first night together had turned out quite differently than he had imagined it. One could say that he was high nevertheless, still thinking about the kiss he had gotten as goodbye from Die and that boosted his enthusiasm for the lessons at school as well.
The redhead was in a bad mood though, trying to just stay calm and take care of his sister. As soon as his parents were home, he was out of the house, needing some time for himself to calm down. He had had such high expectations for the evening that he couldn't help but to be disappointed. Thinking of Kaoru made him feel happier still, and his mood was increasing when he wandered around aimlessly, just thinking.
On his way, he bumped into Kyo who was grinning at him. "Hey! Are you sleep-walking?" The small blonde gave him a glare, but then eyed him curiously. "Did you sleep in your clothes or what?"
"Yes, I did." Die admitted instantly, letting out a huge sigh. "Kaoru was staying overnight, you know..."
"And you stayed in your clothes? What are you, monks?" The small blonde shook his head. "I would've thought you're a tad bit more straightforward."
"Well, we were BABYSITTING my little sister," the redhead explained the other half of the case, making sure his frown told how much he didn't like it. "I didn't exactly plan the night like that..."
"Oh." For a moment, Kyo indeed was speechless. "That's ... well, not really good." He grinned crookedly. "I mean, you have so less time together anyways ne? But hey," a sparkle appeared in his eyes, "Why don't you go and pick him up after school? Just so."
"But I don't know if he has some appointments and I don't know if he would come with me and..." Die ran his fingers through his hair, sighing. "I dunno. Maybe I should try. But gosh, Kyo, I just had SO high expectations for yesterday and then all just fell apart."
"And now you have to release some pressure," the blonde concluded nodding. "But Die, it's not that you have anything better to do than trying to see if he might have a moment for you, or?" He honestly pitied his friend and didn't even feel like teasing him anymore. Instead, he hooked his arm with Die's and dragged him towards a small kiosk where he bought both of them a chocolate bar.
That managed to cheer Die up for real, and it felt good to have someone to talk to. "I think I'll have to try it. I really wanna see him more often, this is more than frustrating." They took a seat on a bench at the side of the park, and Die just used the moment to pour his heart's content out to his friend. "One wouldn't think it's such a bad thing to be babysitting, but it turned out to be hell. You know, I was so prepared to... spend time with him and..."
"So you...," Kyo searched for the right words, thinking if he really wanted an answer. Then, he decided he did and went on. "You wanted to do it with him?" Die had told him that they hadn't done much more than kissing and harmless touching so far, but he had also told him that he wanted more. It had been after a party when they both had been slightly drunk and yet the blonde hadn't forgotten it.
"Yeah," Die kept his eyes directed down, slightly embarrassed which was shown in the tiny blush on his cheeks, but he wanted to get it out. "I did wanna do it... But of course we couldn't. My sister was being a pain in the ass and didn't give us a single moment. And I wouldn't have dared with her in the next room anyways."
"Well, and that's something one shouldn't rush, you know. I mean, you should have the time you need and not fear somebody interrupting you constantly." The blonde patted his friend's shoulder compassionately. "So you talked about it? I mean which way or did you just want to see how far it'd go?" He didn't ask out of mere curiosity only, but because he knew that this troubled Die and he needed somebody to talk to about these things. After all, he couldn't just ask his sports-comrades 'Hey, what do I do to get to nail my boyfriend?' Because that was the tone in the locker-room.
"No, we didn't talk about it. Or we did, once, and confirmed that we both want to do it. But we don't know when and which way and..." Die sighed, shaking his head. "It's just that neither of us really knows shit about how it'd be. We WANT to, but we don't know HOW."
Kyo couldn't help but to chuckle a bit. "Maybe you should use your free time and search the net about it," he suggested, only half serious. "Or read some of those perverted mangas of your sis..."
"Kyo..." The redhead's voice was warning but there was a grin tugging his lips. "I know the technical part. That's the least of the problems."
"So which part don't you know?" his friend asked, this time really curious.
"How he wants it..." Die's voice was silent, and he refused to look his friend in the eye. "Just, how it'll turn out eventually."
Kyo sighed deeply. "I really, honestly, don't envy you. As for me, it's friggin' easy. I mean, a girl's not made for giving, so there's no choice. But you two..." Another sigh followed. "How would you want it then? Ever thought about that?"
"No." Die shook his head. "Or yes. I did think about it. Many times. And I just... don't know what I want since it varies from one moment to another. All I know for sure is that I want to kinda take the next step with him."
"Then do it!" Kyo tried to sound encouraging. "Take him somewhere where nobody disturbs you and seduce him. Show him you want more and it's no problem to just dive in and see where you end."
"Seduce him?" The redhead had to chuckle at the wording. "That sounds like it's from some cheap porn-film. And besides, what do I know about seducing someone."
"Die..." This time, Kyo laughed out loud. "You do know what turns you on, right? And hey, just in case you didn't notice, Kaoru's a guy too. He should react the same way to similar things." He shook his head, making an objective sound. "And hey, what's wrong with porn?"
"I wouldn't want to watch porn or think of it just to get rid of my virginity for god's sake!" Die had to laugh, and he couldn't deny that the talk made him feel better already. "That's what I have him there for. I... just want it to work out good."
"I didn't mean you should watch some cheesy porn and then re-enact the action." The blonde shook his head. "C'mon, I meant you should just get him hot and signal you want to lose your virginity." Suddenly, something occurred to him and he tilted his head, questioning the other teen with his gaze. "Say, you really never did anything with a girl either?"
"No." Die was blushing a tiny bit again, and shook his head quickly. "I didn't. So now I'm just thinking I'll screw it up somehow and won't know what to do."
"Well, the first time usually isn't that pleasant anyways," his friend gave away. "There are too many expectations on both sides and then there's too much nervousness." He smiled crookedly, rubbing his neck. "That's why I mean you should just try your best and see where it leads you. As long as you both want it, it can't be that bad, right?"
"Yeah, you're right." The redhead nodded. He had pulled his legs close to his chest and based his chin on his knees. For a long moment he was looking into the distance, but then broke the silence in a voice hardly above whisper. "What if it'll hurt?"
"I think it will." That was the special thing about Kyo, he always said what was going through his mind, never trying to make things appear brighter than they were. "It hurts girls too, you know and well," he blushed a bit too, but didn't finish the sentence.
Die was blushing too, and nodded at the other's words. "Yeah, I know." He fell silent for a moment again, searching for what he wanted to say. "I just... I guess I'd wanna know how much will it be."
"You want to get it over with, right?" the blonde asked, turning to look at him straight. "So that this nervousness is past and you can focus on the pleasant parts, or?"
"Kind of. And I figured that once the first time is over, we'll know how it really is in a way. Then the next time one knows what to expect." The redhead explained honestly. "If that now made any sense..."
Kyo patted his shoulder. "It did make sense." He smiled again although he felt helpless as he couldn't help his friend really but listen to his problems. "Try not to think about these things too much. It'll only make you more nervous and tense. Take it as it comes and then you'll see."
"Yeah, I suppose that's the best thing." Die nodded. Then he turned to look at his friend, smiling honestly. "Thanks, Kyo. I owe you big time."
"I know." The blonde chuckled. "And that means I want to hear about how it was once you did it. So that I can tell my next gay friend how it is to get nailed." Winking, he jumped up at his feet. "I gotta go, Die. Am late already. But we see tomorrow, right?"
"Sure. You promised to watch the new action movie with me!" Die reminded, getting up as well. "I think I'll get going too." He waved at the other teen as they both headed to their own directions. He didn't go home yet though, but went on wandering around aimlessly. The talk had calmed him down and made him even more determined to go for it all the way once they'd get the chance finally.
He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even notice that he was walking further and further from the center and from his home, getting to a side district of the town. There were fewer houses lining the road until he reached a part he hadn't seen before. As he walked on, he spotted an old gravel-pit which hadn't been used in decades probably. It was hot, the sun burning down on him and still he didn't feel like turning around, was more curious what would be behind the pit and the line of trees which might have been a small forest once.
As he had left them behind, he turned left and found that he wasn't as far from the city and the school anymore as he would have thought. Still, nobody had ever told him about this place; probably because it was empty and bleak. It was somehow fascinating there even, and he was drawn further instead of wanting to turn back yet. Curiously he eyed the buildings and even went closer to some. There was this small forest area too and once he stepped between the trees he spotted a small house deeper in the forest.
Like hypnotized he went closer. The house was partly collapsed, one end covered by plants already, but the other end looked perfectly stable. He had to climb in through the window but it was big thankfully and he didn't have any problems with it. He didn't even waste a single thought about the possibility that this shabby hut could collapse completely any moment. The living-room and the hallway seemed to be fully functioning and as he went inside, he even found some old furniture there as if the people who had been living there didn't have any use for it anymore.
There was a wooden armchair which once must have looked pretty, but now one arm was broken and the cushion on the seat was rotten and moth-eaten. The side-table was still good though and he instantly tested it by carefully sitting down there. It was stable and he sat there for a long moment, swinging his legs a bit and just eyeing the surroundings. It was simply perfect, and he couldn't get rid of the goofy grin on his face.
With a bit of effort he could make this really cosy, and then he could bring Kaoru here when they had the time for each other. No disturbances, no one to walk in on them. This was looking too good to be true and he couldn't wait to start setting his plan to work.
So he decided not to bother his boyfriend by picking him up from school surprisingly since he thought Kaoru would have told him anyways if he had the time to meet, if even only shortly. Instead, he thought about how to rid this place of the dust and of the unwanted insects that were dwelling there happily. Although there were rather few, considering how long this place must have been abandoned already. Maybe getting a mattress there or even a blow-up mattress would be a good idea, he thought, working out everything in his mind.
So the following days he spent all his extra time by setting the place up all nice. He did watch the movie with Kyo, and hung out with him in general, of course meeting Kaoru always when he had the time, but other than that he was renovating the abandoned house. He had cleaned there, something he hadn't done in his own room even for a long time, dragged a mattress there along with some old magazines and comics to keep the boredom away. And while he was working hard on the place he had pauses too when he was just lolling on the mattress and trying to imagine how it'd be to be there with Kaoru at last, or reading some comics to keep himself entertained.
All in all, the place was nearing perfection, in his eyes, and he decided he should one day after school go and get Kaoru just to bring him there.
It was the following Wednesday evening. Kaoru had asked Die if they wanted to meet in a small cafe. The older teen had had a long day, first being at school and afterwards meeting with some fellow students to work on a problem. He already hated summer-school, but the next day would be free and he desperately wanted to spend the whole time with his boyfriend. So he had called his mother and told her he would stay over at a friend, the woman not asking many questions as she trusted him and knew he wouldn't tell anything if he didn't want to anyways, and now sat in the cafe at the other end of town, waiting for the redhead.
He had deliberately chosen that place as he knew that it wasn't very likely to bump into other students from their school. He had wanted to rent a room in one of these love-hotels, but seeing that he wasn't full aged yet, he didn't get one. Now he was hoping they could stay at Die's place and if not, they could still go back to his and tell his mother and father they had decided otherwise and wanted to stay there.
One could see how bouncy the redhead was instantly when he entered the cafe and spotted the older teenager. Quickly he made his way to him, but instead of sitting down he simply grabbed the other one's arm and dragged him up on his feet. "Come on, I wanna show you something." His eyes were sparkling like stars and he looked definitely happy with himself. He had just a while ago taken some soda and sweets to the secret place too, setting it up as best as he could so he could bring Kaoru there finally.
"Wait, wait!" the older teen chuckled, yanking himself free. "Let me pay first." After having done that, he followed Die to the next bus-stop as they were quite far away. When they stopped at their school, Kaoru frowned deeply though. "You don't want to bring me here of all places, do you?" He was in an exceptionally good mood though, just because of the redhead's permanent grin.
"Of course not. Just have a little faith in me, will ya?" Die chuckled, and instantly grabbed his boyfriend's hand to drag him further. He didn't even think about the gesture, but to their luck no one paid attention to it. Kaoru blushed a bit though, but tried to keep up with the other teen's quick steps. Since his legs were shorter, he almost had to run and finally built up some resistance to slow Die down a bit.
When they went across an empty field, he frowned though. "Nature?" Kaoru grinned and since it was almost dark already and nobody seemed to be around, he dared to pull the other boy into his arms and give him a kiss. "Now I'm ready to go on," he said winking, moving forward into the direction Die had led them before.
"Wait until you see the place and you'll never want to leave anymore," Die chuckled. The house was just ahead of them and he quickly turned, smiling at the other boy. "Close your eyes, it's a surprise."
"Okay. But you won't leave me here in the dark forest and play some prank on me, will you?" Kaoru knew Die's favor for horrormovies and although he shared it partly, he didn't feel like being alone in some place he didn't know.
"Of course not." The redhead assured, and when the older one closed his eyes he was instantly rewarded with a kiss. Afterwards Die grabbed his hand again, carefully leading him through the remaining trees, telling him to watch his steps whenever necessary. Once they were already right beside the house, he spoke. "Alright, you can open your eyes."
"Wow." Kaoru was honestly surprised. "I didn't know that people used to live here. My dad once told me that this part of town is abandoned because there is some inheritance fight going on for years already." He turned to smile at his boyfriend. "And now you tell me you went inside there and found a treasure?"
"No." Die shook his head, smiling brightly. "I MADE it a treasure. Go inside."
"But there's no door anymore," Kaoru complained. Then, he saw the broken window above and sighed. "You need to help me, I can't reach it." Obediently, the redhead gave him a boost and Kaoru almost fell inside headlong. He waited for his boyfriend to follow him though, before going down the only functioning hallway into the living-room. "It's dark," he remarked, blinking a couple of times as he hoped this would make him see better.
"I have a lantern, wait a moment." The redhead knew the place so well that he was able to walk in there even in the dark, and soon he lit the lantern that was standing in the middle of the table.
It took a moment before Kaoru's eyes got used to the light, but then he was looking around in awe. "And you did that to this place?" He saw the mattress, a few candles adorning the table and the floor and one could see that the other teen had dusted everywhere. It didn't even smell muggy as it did in old houses usually. Slowly, Kaoru turned around, a bright smile on his lips. "This is the perfect place for us."
"I thought so too." Die was practically beaming, totally enthusiastic about this and to see the other boy liked it too made him more than happy. "And I bet no one ever comes here even! The place looked like no one had set foot inside in ages when I first got here."
Kaoru couldn't believe that his boyfriend had found a hiding-place for them. Somewhere where they would be sheltered from rain and cold, although at the moment it was insufferably hot, where nobody threatened to walk in on them. Carefully, he sat down on the mattress, dropping his back-pack beside it. "And I see you prepared well."
"I wanted it to be perfect," Die confessed, still unable to get rid of his smile. He lit fire in two more lanterns he had there to bring more light into the room, before heading to the mattress to sit down beside the other teen. "Just think of it, this is the perfect hideout."
"I can't believe it," Kaoru breathed out, but nodded. "I love it." Turning to face his boyfriend, he said with a more firm voice. "I love you."
The words made the redhead smile even wider and instantly he leaned closer, initiating a slow, deep kiss. Wrapping his arms around the other one's neck, Kaoru dropped backwards, pulling Die along. They hadn't seen each other for a couple of days and had to make it up for that now. Unhesitant, he tugged the hem of the shirt, wanting to get rid of it. Just knowing that they were all alone in their own little place made him feel secure and caused his heart to pound because this would offer a lot of new possibilities for them.
They broke the contact for long enough to discard the shirt to the floor but then instantly another kiss was initiated, both of them getting lost in the contact. Somehow being in their own private place had broken the gates and they didn't even try to hold back, forgetting themselves as they initiated one kiss after another. Die was practically straddling the older teen's hips, pressing their bodies closer together in the desperate need of closeness.
A whole flood of new impressions and sensations were crushing in on the teenagers and soon the air was filled with deep sighs and low moans. Time seemed to have stopped, their kisses growing more and more passionate as their hands were roaming all over each other's bodies. Kaoru's heart threatened to stop beating when he finally dared to bring his hand between them, brushing over the other teen's crotch. This was further than they had gone before and although he was providing the touch, it was damn good to feel how much Die was reacting to it.
The redhead couldn't hold back a deep sigh at the touch and on their own his eyes fell shut, his hips moving slightly to gain more of the touch. It was a game of exploring for both of them at that point and his hands were roaming all over the other teen's body until he tentatively brought his hand between his boyfriend's legs to see what kind of reactions he could elicit from him. Meanwhile he tried to keep himself busy by planting several kisses on the deliciously exposed neck before him, getting lost in the familiar scent.
A surprised gasp escaped Kaoru when his stirring arousal was squeezed teasingly. His head was spinning and he couldn't remember a moment when he had been this nervous and yet curious, this aroused. Taking a hold of his boyfriend's hips, he rolled both of them on the side so that he could carefully work to open the limiting pants. First, he tried the cool way, using one hand while his other cupped Die's cheek, stroking him as they were engaged in yet another deep kiss, but soon he had to learn that it was impossible and he needed both hands to achieve his goal.
Die's heart was beating madly both due to arousal and due to nervousness, but he tried to concentrate on the kiss to distract himself even somewhat. This was definitely the furthest they had gone ever, and while he was definitely eager for more there was still this nagging nervous feeling in the back of his skull.
Finally, Kaoru broke the kiss and sat up, carefully pulling down the zipper on his boyfriend's pants before he dragged the garment down and discarded it somewhere. He could clearly see the bulge in Die's boxers, could tell that he was nervous too by his heaving chest and the fact that he was biting his lips. Suddenly, he felt the urge to ask if this was okay, but then he simply decided that Die would tell him if he didn't want to go further.
Leaning down, he began to plant kisses everywhere on the exposed chest before him, allowing instinct to guide him as he honestly had never done that before. All he knew was that he enjoyed the feel of Die's smooth skin underneath his lips, loved the scent and when he allowed his tongue to dive into his belly-button, he found out that the taste was intoxicating too.
The redhead was just gasping breathlessly, shivering under the treatment that made all new sensations course through his being. He was nervous, he couldn't deny that, but a far bigger part of him just wanted more, wanted to experience this with the older one. He didn't want to be the only one undressed though and managed to get rid of Kaoru's shirt at least when he leaned up to give him a proper kiss again.
Willingly, Kaoru aided him in getting rid of his shirt. The first real touch of skin on skin made his head spin and he knew that this was what he wanted, being close to the redhead, share intimacy with him and go all the way if Die was willing to go it together with him. Another moan slipped his throat and suddenly, he had to chuckle. It was unintentional, but just an overreaction, a sign for how happy he was right at that moment.
Thankfully Die was feeling the same way right now and didn't take the laughing the wrong way. Quite the contrary, he smiled at the older teen and grabbed his head to bring him down into another kiss, arching up towards him slightly as the skin on skin feeling was just all too enticing. That somehow encouraged Kaoru to go on and he tentatively slipped his fingertips underneath the cuff of Die's shorts. As there was no protest in the slightest, he went on further, gently taking the heated flesh of the other teen's arousal into his palm.
That was enough to elicit a stifled moan from the younger one, and he felt an incredible wave of heat to rush through him. Instinctively he grabbed the other's shoulders and only noticed a moment later that he was holding on to him tight. His hands were shaking a bit when he guided them downwards, straight to unbutton the older boy's pants.
Kaoru was breathing heavily and the kiss had broken some time ago already. Knowing what Die was about to do alone made him shiver in anticipation. Still, he was enough at his senses to finally pull down Die's boxers at first, exposing him completely to the dim light in the old house. For a second, he was hypnotized by the sight of his aroused boyfriend, by the expression in his eyes. Then, a slight tug on his own jeans brought him back to reality and he nodded, helping Die to undress him too.
The redhead could feel his heart hammer in his throat and just tried to calm down a bit. He had thought that he would be more than embarrassed to be the only one undressed but eventually he felt so much at ease in Kaoru's company that it didn't bother him in the slightest. He simply wanted to get the older teen out of his clothes too, to finally be able to properly lay his hands on him. Once the jeans and boxers were gone he tentatively laced his fingers around his boyfriend's arousal, giving it a few strokes and marvelling the reactions he gained with it.
A flash of heat shot through Kaoru's body, made him tremble and he had to admit that it felt so much better than when he did it himself. With his eyes tightly closed, he mirrored he action on the other teen until their panting breaths and moans were mixing in the air. Suddenly though, he pulled back and leaned to the side, blindly searching for something in the outside pocket of his backpack. When he had found it, he looked at the redhead, holding up a small tube of lubricant and a pack of condoms, asking for permission to go on with his eyes.
For a second Die eyed the items and then nodded, swallowing hard to collect himself. He was panting already, wanting more and he really was determined to go through with this. It couldn't be that bad, hurt that much, could it? He even parted his thighs a bit, signalling that he was alright with it. But he couldn't get rid of the nervousness that was rapidly gathering in the pit of his stomach, now that they had taken such a big leap forward.
Kaoru was acting like in a dream, his mind intoxicated by everything in the moment. His nervousness was visible in the slight tremble of his hands as he fumbled one condom out of the package and placed it on the mattress beside the other teen. Not to lose the courage, he bent down and kissed those slightly parted lips softly while he again ran his palm along the hard arousal to distract both of them from what would be the next logical step.
It had been so easy when he had imagined this, when he had dreamed about it, everything going so smooth and without problems. But the first obstacle he had to overcome was to open the tube of lubricant. As it was brand new, the lid was still sealed and he couldn't get it opened until he used both, his hands and teeth. This would have been funny if one looked at it from afar, but right now, right at that moment, it was only fanning his insecurities.
Still, he poured some of the cool substance on his hand before bringing it between his boyfriend's legs. He knew what he was supposed to do, that he had to smear the lube all over Die's lower body, that he would have to prepare him, stretch him to make it as less painful as possible and yet he hesitated a few seconds, everything being too much for his aroused state of mind.
The moment was somewhat utterly intense and the redhead had been watching Kaoru's doings without being able to avert his gaze for a single moment even. He was slightly biting his lower lip now, trying to force the nervousness away and to concentrate on the heat and the pleasant feelings between them. He was certain he would be able to go through with it, wanted to do it so badly, and just nodded encouragingly at the older teenager.
He closed his eyes, and soon he could feel tentative fingers circle the lower region of his body, rimming his entrance before one digit was pushed past the tight ring of muscles. It didn't hurt at first that much, only felt weird, but when it was pushed deeper, a second finger following, it caused a sting of pain that instantly made Die freak out. He couldn't help it and no matter how much he tried to just hold on and wait until it'd get better he simply couldn't. Grabbing his boyfriend's shoulders he tried to gain his attention, his voice barely audible as he spoke quickly. "Kao... I-" There was a blush on his cheeks even, and he was clearly embarrassed. "I can't..."
Immediately, the older teen pulled his digits back and sat up on his heels. There was a deep red on adorning his cheeks as he was at least equally embarrassed, still nervous and highly aroused. It hadn't even felt bad to push his finger into the other teen, to feel the muscles grab it and contract around it; had made him imagine what the incredible tightness would feel like once he buried his arousal inside him. Swallowing a couple of times, he tried to steady his voice. "Did I... did I do something wrong?" He had to be sure, because hey, he had never done something like that.
The first answer was a firm headshake and the younger one instantly hurried to deny that. "No! It's just..." He didn't know how to explain it and just sat up, initiating a deep kiss to calm both of them down. That was at least something they enjoyed endlessly and that was familiar to them. When they parted Die still looked embarrassed, his cheeks deep red when he whispered his confession. "I'm just scared."
A relieved sigh fell from Kaoru's lips and he smiled a bit. "I'm scared too," he admitted nodding and stole another kiss from his boyfriend. Maybe they had overdone it, had wanted too much too fast and should have taken one step after another instead. But it wasn't too late for that yet, was it? Tentatively, his tongue still involved in a playful fight with Die's, he brought his hand back to the other teen's groin and laced his fingers around the still present arousal, beginning to stroke him firmly.
That caused a long groan to escape the younger one and he instinctively tried to move his hips into the touch to gain more of it. He still wanted it, wanted Kaoru and was more than relieved that he wasn't mad at him for breaking it at that point. Almost instantly he already mirrored the advances, bringing his hand to his boyfriend's arousal to pay him back all the delicious touches.
They were pushing each other higher and higher and very much to Kaoru's surprise, he wasn't nervous at all anymore. Pleasure had invaded his body and mind, and he was writing and squirming against his boyfriend without ever forgetting to give him as much as he received. Everything was so good that it was over all too soon, his orgasm coming so unexpected that he had no time to warn Die nor make sure he didn't get stained. Although deeply embarrassed about that, he kept on working him, wanting to see the expression of bliss on his face too.
It didn't take long and the redhead followed, tensing as the orgasm washed over him. A small outcry escaped him at the same moment as he wasn't able to hold it back, too lost in the sensations. He was totally out of breath but smiling as he felt better than in a long time, if ever, when he was allowed to cuddle close against the older teen. "Thank you," he whispered, not even completely sure himself what was the thing he wanted to thank for the most. To underline the statement he stole a deep, but short kiss.
Although sweaty and stained, they were cuddling all night long, not even thinking about leaving their secret hideout just yet. The fact that they hadn't gone all the way didn't seem to bother either of them, at least Kaoru didn't take it personally that his boyfriend had broken the moment. Quite the contrary, he was having self-reproaches, because he should have known to take one step after and not just want everything at once.
Author:
seinen_no and fonulynRating: NC17
Pairing: Die and Kaoru
Disclaimer: We own no one, only our dirty imaginations.
Summary: Kaoru is the most popular guy at the whole school, the student council and a straight A student, leading a life that most people consider perfect and flawless. Die is a happy-go-lucky, lazy average student who more likes to concentrate on enjoying life rather than giving all of his time for studying. When the latter is about to fail physics amongst some other subjects, the former is hired to give him private lessons. The boys don’t exactly like each other to begin with though…
Comments:
seinen_no: Again I have to apologize for letting you wait so long. But hey, at least we come with a long, nice chapter of total sweetness and a tiny bit of lovin' too. Somehow, while I was re-reading this, this one song from A Chorus Line popped into my mind "First time we made love, it was a great, big deal. I was too scared to feel and nervous from trying…" Okay, with that I'm going to leave you^^fonulyn: Okay so now we get one step closer to what some people at least have been waiting for XD You shall see how close! I’m really sorry too for the delay, but it seems that whenever we want to improve and begin posting more quickly, the real life has something nasty in store for us and screws things up :/ Buuut hopefully this’ll now make up for the delay, at least somewhat. Do enjoy!And feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive .
Previously happened: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6
The next morning neither of them woke up before the alarm and when it went off it was hard for them to drag themselves out of bed. Kaoru had to run not to be late for school, and Die had to just get his sister breakfast and look after her until his parents would be back.
On his way to school, the older teen called his boyfriend from his mobile, only to tell him that he still had enjoyed being with him, although their first night together had turned out quite differently than he had imagined it. One could say that he was high nevertheless, still thinking about the kiss he had gotten as goodbye from Die and that boosted his enthusiasm for the lessons at school as well.
The redhead was in a bad mood though, trying to just stay calm and take care of his sister. As soon as his parents were home, he was out of the house, needing some time for himself to calm down. He had had such high expectations for the evening that he couldn't help but to be disappointed. Thinking of Kaoru made him feel happier still, and his mood was increasing when he wandered around aimlessly, just thinking.
On his way, he bumped into Kyo who was grinning at him. "Hey! Are you sleep-walking?" The small blonde gave him a glare, but then eyed him curiously. "Did you sleep in your clothes or what?"
"Yes, I did." Die admitted instantly, letting out a huge sigh. "Kaoru was staying overnight, you know..."
"And you stayed in your clothes? What are you, monks?" The small blonde shook his head. "I would've thought you're a tad bit more straightforward."
"Well, we were BABYSITTING my little sister," the redhead explained the other half of the case, making sure his frown told how much he didn't like it. "I didn't exactly plan the night like that..."
"Oh." For a moment, Kyo indeed was speechless. "That's ... well, not really good." He grinned crookedly. "I mean, you have so less time together anyways ne? But hey," a sparkle appeared in his eyes, "Why don't you go and pick him up after school? Just so."
"But I don't know if he has some appointments and I don't know if he would come with me and..." Die ran his fingers through his hair, sighing. "I dunno. Maybe I should try. But gosh, Kyo, I just had SO high expectations for yesterday and then all just fell apart."
"And now you have to release some pressure," the blonde concluded nodding. "But Die, it's not that you have anything better to do than trying to see if he might have a moment for you, or?" He honestly pitied his friend and didn't even feel like teasing him anymore. Instead, he hooked his arm with Die's and dragged him towards a small kiosk where he bought both of them a chocolate bar.
That managed to cheer Die up for real, and it felt good to have someone to talk to. "I think I'll have to try it. I really wanna see him more often, this is more than frustrating." They took a seat on a bench at the side of the park, and Die just used the moment to pour his heart's content out to his friend. "One wouldn't think it's such a bad thing to be babysitting, but it turned out to be hell. You know, I was so prepared to... spend time with him and..."
"So you...," Kyo searched for the right words, thinking if he really wanted an answer. Then, he decided he did and went on. "You wanted to do it with him?" Die had told him that they hadn't done much more than kissing and harmless touching so far, but he had also told him that he wanted more. It had been after a party when they both had been slightly drunk and yet the blonde hadn't forgotten it.
"Yeah," Die kept his eyes directed down, slightly embarrassed which was shown in the tiny blush on his cheeks, but he wanted to get it out. "I did wanna do it... But of course we couldn't. My sister was being a pain in the ass and didn't give us a single moment. And I wouldn't have dared with her in the next room anyways."
"Well, and that's something one shouldn't rush, you know. I mean, you should have the time you need and not fear somebody interrupting you constantly." The blonde patted his friend's shoulder compassionately. "So you talked about it? I mean which way or did you just want to see how far it'd go?" He didn't ask out of mere curiosity only, but because he knew that this troubled Die and he needed somebody to talk to about these things. After all, he couldn't just ask his sports-comrades 'Hey, what do I do to get to nail my boyfriend?' Because that was the tone in the locker-room.
"No, we didn't talk about it. Or we did, once, and confirmed that we both want to do it. But we don't know when and which way and..." Die sighed, shaking his head. "It's just that neither of us really knows shit about how it'd be. We WANT to, but we don't know HOW."
Kyo couldn't help but to chuckle a bit. "Maybe you should use your free time and search the net about it," he suggested, only half serious. "Or read some of those perverted mangas of your sis..."
"Kyo..." The redhead's voice was warning but there was a grin tugging his lips. "I know the technical part. That's the least of the problems."
"So which part don't you know?" his friend asked, this time really curious.
"How he wants it..." Die's voice was silent, and he refused to look his friend in the eye. "Just, how it'll turn out eventually."
Kyo sighed deeply. "I really, honestly, don't envy you. As for me, it's friggin' easy. I mean, a girl's not made for giving, so there's no choice. But you two..." Another sigh followed. "How would you want it then? Ever thought about that?"
"No." Die shook his head. "Or yes. I did think about it. Many times. And I just... don't know what I want since it varies from one moment to another. All I know for sure is that I want to kinda take the next step with him."
"Then do it!" Kyo tried to sound encouraging. "Take him somewhere where nobody disturbs you and seduce him. Show him you want more and it's no problem to just dive in and see where you end."
"Seduce him?" The redhead had to chuckle at the wording. "That sounds like it's from some cheap porn-film. And besides, what do I know about seducing someone."
"Die..." This time, Kyo laughed out loud. "You do know what turns you on, right? And hey, just in case you didn't notice, Kaoru's a guy too. He should react the same way to similar things." He shook his head, making an objective sound. "And hey, what's wrong with porn?"
"I wouldn't want to watch porn or think of it just to get rid of my virginity for god's sake!" Die had to laugh, and he couldn't deny that the talk made him feel better already. "That's what I have him there for. I... just want it to work out good."
"I didn't mean you should watch some cheesy porn and then re-enact the action." The blonde shook his head. "C'mon, I meant you should just get him hot and signal you want to lose your virginity." Suddenly, something occurred to him and he tilted his head, questioning the other teen with his gaze. "Say, you really never did anything with a girl either?"
"No." Die was blushing a tiny bit again, and shook his head quickly. "I didn't. So now I'm just thinking I'll screw it up somehow and won't know what to do."
"Well, the first time usually isn't that pleasant anyways," his friend gave away. "There are too many expectations on both sides and then there's too much nervousness." He smiled crookedly, rubbing his neck. "That's why I mean you should just try your best and see where it leads you. As long as you both want it, it can't be that bad, right?"
"Yeah, you're right." The redhead nodded. He had pulled his legs close to his chest and based his chin on his knees. For a long moment he was looking into the distance, but then broke the silence in a voice hardly above whisper. "What if it'll hurt?"
"I think it will." That was the special thing about Kyo, he always said what was going through his mind, never trying to make things appear brighter than they were. "It hurts girls too, you know and well," he blushed a bit too, but didn't finish the sentence.
Die was blushing too, and nodded at the other's words. "Yeah, I know." He fell silent for a moment again, searching for what he wanted to say. "I just... I guess I'd wanna know how much will it be."
"You want to get it over with, right?" the blonde asked, turning to look at him straight. "So that this nervousness is past and you can focus on the pleasant parts, or?"
"Kind of. And I figured that once the first time is over, we'll know how it really is in a way. Then the next time one knows what to expect." The redhead explained honestly. "If that now made any sense..."
Kyo patted his shoulder. "It did make sense." He smiled again although he felt helpless as he couldn't help his friend really but listen to his problems. "Try not to think about these things too much. It'll only make you more nervous and tense. Take it as it comes and then you'll see."
"Yeah, I suppose that's the best thing." Die nodded. Then he turned to look at his friend, smiling honestly. "Thanks, Kyo. I owe you big time."
"I know." The blonde chuckled. "And that means I want to hear about how it was once you did it. So that I can tell my next gay friend how it is to get nailed." Winking, he jumped up at his feet. "I gotta go, Die. Am late already. But we see tomorrow, right?"
"Sure. You promised to watch the new action movie with me!" Die reminded, getting up as well. "I think I'll get going too." He waved at the other teen as they both headed to their own directions. He didn't go home yet though, but went on wandering around aimlessly. The talk had calmed him down and made him even more determined to go for it all the way once they'd get the chance finally.
He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even notice that he was walking further and further from the center and from his home, getting to a side district of the town. There were fewer houses lining the road until he reached a part he hadn't seen before. As he walked on, he spotted an old gravel-pit which hadn't been used in decades probably. It was hot, the sun burning down on him and still he didn't feel like turning around, was more curious what would be behind the pit and the line of trees which might have been a small forest once.
As he had left them behind, he turned left and found that he wasn't as far from the city and the school anymore as he would have thought. Still, nobody had ever told him about this place; probably because it was empty and bleak. It was somehow fascinating there even, and he was drawn further instead of wanting to turn back yet. Curiously he eyed the buildings and even went closer to some. There was this small forest area too and once he stepped between the trees he spotted a small house deeper in the forest.
Like hypnotized he went closer. The house was partly collapsed, one end covered by plants already, but the other end looked perfectly stable. He had to climb in through the window but it was big thankfully and he didn't have any problems with it. He didn't even waste a single thought about the possibility that this shabby hut could collapse completely any moment. The living-room and the hallway seemed to be fully functioning and as he went inside, he even found some old furniture there as if the people who had been living there didn't have any use for it anymore.
There was a wooden armchair which once must have looked pretty, but now one arm was broken and the cushion on the seat was rotten and moth-eaten. The side-table was still good though and he instantly tested it by carefully sitting down there. It was stable and he sat there for a long moment, swinging his legs a bit and just eyeing the surroundings. It was simply perfect, and he couldn't get rid of the goofy grin on his face.
With a bit of effort he could make this really cosy, and then he could bring Kaoru here when they had the time for each other. No disturbances, no one to walk in on them. This was looking too good to be true and he couldn't wait to start setting his plan to work.
So he decided not to bother his boyfriend by picking him up from school surprisingly since he thought Kaoru would have told him anyways if he had the time to meet, if even only shortly. Instead, he thought about how to rid this place of the dust and of the unwanted insects that were dwelling there happily. Although there were rather few, considering how long this place must have been abandoned already. Maybe getting a mattress there or even a blow-up mattress would be a good idea, he thought, working out everything in his mind.
So the following days he spent all his extra time by setting the place up all nice. He did watch the movie with Kyo, and hung out with him in general, of course meeting Kaoru always when he had the time, but other than that he was renovating the abandoned house. He had cleaned there, something he hadn't done in his own room even for a long time, dragged a mattress there along with some old magazines and comics to keep the boredom away. And while he was working hard on the place he had pauses too when he was just lolling on the mattress and trying to imagine how it'd be to be there with Kaoru at last, or reading some comics to keep himself entertained.
All in all, the place was nearing perfection, in his eyes, and he decided he should one day after school go and get Kaoru just to bring him there.
It was the following Wednesday evening. Kaoru had asked Die if they wanted to meet in a small cafe. The older teen had had a long day, first being at school and afterwards meeting with some fellow students to work on a problem. He already hated summer-school, but the next day would be free and he desperately wanted to spend the whole time with his boyfriend. So he had called his mother and told her he would stay over at a friend, the woman not asking many questions as she trusted him and knew he wouldn't tell anything if he didn't want to anyways, and now sat in the cafe at the other end of town, waiting for the redhead.
He had deliberately chosen that place as he knew that it wasn't very likely to bump into other students from their school. He had wanted to rent a room in one of these love-hotels, but seeing that he wasn't full aged yet, he didn't get one. Now he was hoping they could stay at Die's place and if not, they could still go back to his and tell his mother and father they had decided otherwise and wanted to stay there.
One could see how bouncy the redhead was instantly when he entered the cafe and spotted the older teenager. Quickly he made his way to him, but instead of sitting down he simply grabbed the other one's arm and dragged him up on his feet. "Come on, I wanna show you something." His eyes were sparkling like stars and he looked definitely happy with himself. He had just a while ago taken some soda and sweets to the secret place too, setting it up as best as he could so he could bring Kaoru there finally.
"Wait, wait!" the older teen chuckled, yanking himself free. "Let me pay first." After having done that, he followed Die to the next bus-stop as they were quite far away. When they stopped at their school, Kaoru frowned deeply though. "You don't want to bring me here of all places, do you?" He was in an exceptionally good mood though, just because of the redhead's permanent grin.
"Of course not. Just have a little faith in me, will ya?" Die chuckled, and instantly grabbed his boyfriend's hand to drag him further. He didn't even think about the gesture, but to their luck no one paid attention to it. Kaoru blushed a bit though, but tried to keep up with the other teen's quick steps. Since his legs were shorter, he almost had to run and finally built up some resistance to slow Die down a bit.
When they went across an empty field, he frowned though. "Nature?" Kaoru grinned and since it was almost dark already and nobody seemed to be around, he dared to pull the other boy into his arms and give him a kiss. "Now I'm ready to go on," he said winking, moving forward into the direction Die had led them before.
"Wait until you see the place and you'll never want to leave anymore," Die chuckled. The house was just ahead of them and he quickly turned, smiling at the other boy. "Close your eyes, it's a surprise."
"Okay. But you won't leave me here in the dark forest and play some prank on me, will you?" Kaoru knew Die's favor for horrormovies and although he shared it partly, he didn't feel like being alone in some place he didn't know.
"Of course not." The redhead assured, and when the older one closed his eyes he was instantly rewarded with a kiss. Afterwards Die grabbed his hand again, carefully leading him through the remaining trees, telling him to watch his steps whenever necessary. Once they were already right beside the house, he spoke. "Alright, you can open your eyes."
"Wow." Kaoru was honestly surprised. "I didn't know that people used to live here. My dad once told me that this part of town is abandoned because there is some inheritance fight going on for years already." He turned to smile at his boyfriend. "And now you tell me you went inside there and found a treasure?"
"No." Die shook his head, smiling brightly. "I MADE it a treasure. Go inside."
"But there's no door anymore," Kaoru complained. Then, he saw the broken window above and sighed. "You need to help me, I can't reach it." Obediently, the redhead gave him a boost and Kaoru almost fell inside headlong. He waited for his boyfriend to follow him though, before going down the only functioning hallway into the living-room. "It's dark," he remarked, blinking a couple of times as he hoped this would make him see better.
"I have a lantern, wait a moment." The redhead knew the place so well that he was able to walk in there even in the dark, and soon he lit the lantern that was standing in the middle of the table.
It took a moment before Kaoru's eyes got used to the light, but then he was looking around in awe. "And you did that to this place?" He saw the mattress, a few candles adorning the table and the floor and one could see that the other teen had dusted everywhere. It didn't even smell muggy as it did in old houses usually. Slowly, Kaoru turned around, a bright smile on his lips. "This is the perfect place for us."
"I thought so too." Die was practically beaming, totally enthusiastic about this and to see the other boy liked it too made him more than happy. "And I bet no one ever comes here even! The place looked like no one had set foot inside in ages when I first got here."
Kaoru couldn't believe that his boyfriend had found a hiding-place for them. Somewhere where they would be sheltered from rain and cold, although at the moment it was insufferably hot, where nobody threatened to walk in on them. Carefully, he sat down on the mattress, dropping his back-pack beside it. "And I see you prepared well."
"I wanted it to be perfect," Die confessed, still unable to get rid of his smile. He lit fire in two more lanterns he had there to bring more light into the room, before heading to the mattress to sit down beside the other teen. "Just think of it, this is the perfect hideout."
"I can't believe it," Kaoru breathed out, but nodded. "I love it." Turning to face his boyfriend, he said with a more firm voice. "I love you."
The words made the redhead smile even wider and instantly he leaned closer, initiating a slow, deep kiss. Wrapping his arms around the other one's neck, Kaoru dropped backwards, pulling Die along. They hadn't seen each other for a couple of days and had to make it up for that now. Unhesitant, he tugged the hem of the shirt, wanting to get rid of it. Just knowing that they were all alone in their own little place made him feel secure and caused his heart to pound because this would offer a lot of new possibilities for them.
They broke the contact for long enough to discard the shirt to the floor but then instantly another kiss was initiated, both of them getting lost in the contact. Somehow being in their own private place had broken the gates and they didn't even try to hold back, forgetting themselves as they initiated one kiss after another. Die was practically straddling the older teen's hips, pressing their bodies closer together in the desperate need of closeness.
A whole flood of new impressions and sensations were crushing in on the teenagers and soon the air was filled with deep sighs and low moans. Time seemed to have stopped, their kisses growing more and more passionate as their hands were roaming all over each other's bodies. Kaoru's heart threatened to stop beating when he finally dared to bring his hand between them, brushing over the other teen's crotch. This was further than they had gone before and although he was providing the touch, it was damn good to feel how much Die was reacting to it.
The redhead couldn't hold back a deep sigh at the touch and on their own his eyes fell shut, his hips moving slightly to gain more of the touch. It was a game of exploring for both of them at that point and his hands were roaming all over the other teen's body until he tentatively brought his hand between his boyfriend's legs to see what kind of reactions he could elicit from him. Meanwhile he tried to keep himself busy by planting several kisses on the deliciously exposed neck before him, getting lost in the familiar scent.
A surprised gasp escaped Kaoru when his stirring arousal was squeezed teasingly. His head was spinning and he couldn't remember a moment when he had been this nervous and yet curious, this aroused. Taking a hold of his boyfriend's hips, he rolled both of them on the side so that he could carefully work to open the limiting pants. First, he tried the cool way, using one hand while his other cupped Die's cheek, stroking him as they were engaged in yet another deep kiss, but soon he had to learn that it was impossible and he needed both hands to achieve his goal.
Die's heart was beating madly both due to arousal and due to nervousness, but he tried to concentrate on the kiss to distract himself even somewhat. This was definitely the furthest they had gone ever, and while he was definitely eager for more there was still this nagging nervous feeling in the back of his skull.
Finally, Kaoru broke the kiss and sat up, carefully pulling down the zipper on his boyfriend's pants before he dragged the garment down and discarded it somewhere. He could clearly see the bulge in Die's boxers, could tell that he was nervous too by his heaving chest and the fact that he was biting his lips. Suddenly, he felt the urge to ask if this was okay, but then he simply decided that Die would tell him if he didn't want to go further.
Leaning down, he began to plant kisses everywhere on the exposed chest before him, allowing instinct to guide him as he honestly had never done that before. All he knew was that he enjoyed the feel of Die's smooth skin underneath his lips, loved the scent and when he allowed his tongue to dive into his belly-button, he found out that the taste was intoxicating too.
The redhead was just gasping breathlessly, shivering under the treatment that made all new sensations course through his being. He was nervous, he couldn't deny that, but a far bigger part of him just wanted more, wanted to experience this with the older one. He didn't want to be the only one undressed though and managed to get rid of Kaoru's shirt at least when he leaned up to give him a proper kiss again.
Willingly, Kaoru aided him in getting rid of his shirt. The first real touch of skin on skin made his head spin and he knew that this was what he wanted, being close to the redhead, share intimacy with him and go all the way if Die was willing to go it together with him. Another moan slipped his throat and suddenly, he had to chuckle. It was unintentional, but just an overreaction, a sign for how happy he was right at that moment.
Thankfully Die was feeling the same way right now and didn't take the laughing the wrong way. Quite the contrary, he smiled at the older teen and grabbed his head to bring him down into another kiss, arching up towards him slightly as the skin on skin feeling was just all too enticing. That somehow encouraged Kaoru to go on and he tentatively slipped his fingertips underneath the cuff of Die's shorts. As there was no protest in the slightest, he went on further, gently taking the heated flesh of the other teen's arousal into his palm.
That was enough to elicit a stifled moan from the younger one, and he felt an incredible wave of heat to rush through him. Instinctively he grabbed the other's shoulders and only noticed a moment later that he was holding on to him tight. His hands were shaking a bit when he guided them downwards, straight to unbutton the older boy's pants.
Kaoru was breathing heavily and the kiss had broken some time ago already. Knowing what Die was about to do alone made him shiver in anticipation. Still, he was enough at his senses to finally pull down Die's boxers at first, exposing him completely to the dim light in the old house. For a second, he was hypnotized by the sight of his aroused boyfriend, by the expression in his eyes. Then, a slight tug on his own jeans brought him back to reality and he nodded, helping Die to undress him too.
The redhead could feel his heart hammer in his throat and just tried to calm down a bit. He had thought that he would be more than embarrassed to be the only one undressed but eventually he felt so much at ease in Kaoru's company that it didn't bother him in the slightest. He simply wanted to get the older teen out of his clothes too, to finally be able to properly lay his hands on him. Once the jeans and boxers were gone he tentatively laced his fingers around his boyfriend's arousal, giving it a few strokes and marvelling the reactions he gained with it.
A flash of heat shot through Kaoru's body, made him tremble and he had to admit that it felt so much better than when he did it himself. With his eyes tightly closed, he mirrored he action on the other teen until their panting breaths and moans were mixing in the air. Suddenly though, he pulled back and leaned to the side, blindly searching for something in the outside pocket of his backpack. When he had found it, he looked at the redhead, holding up a small tube of lubricant and a pack of condoms, asking for permission to go on with his eyes.
For a second Die eyed the items and then nodded, swallowing hard to collect himself. He was panting already, wanting more and he really was determined to go through with this. It couldn't be that bad, hurt that much, could it? He even parted his thighs a bit, signalling that he was alright with it. But he couldn't get rid of the nervousness that was rapidly gathering in the pit of his stomach, now that they had taken such a big leap forward.
Kaoru was acting like in a dream, his mind intoxicated by everything in the moment. His nervousness was visible in the slight tremble of his hands as he fumbled one condom out of the package and placed it on the mattress beside the other teen. Not to lose the courage, he bent down and kissed those slightly parted lips softly while he again ran his palm along the hard arousal to distract both of them from what would be the next logical step.
It had been so easy when he had imagined this, when he had dreamed about it, everything going so smooth and without problems. But the first obstacle he had to overcome was to open the tube of lubricant. As it was brand new, the lid was still sealed and he couldn't get it opened until he used both, his hands and teeth. This would have been funny if one looked at it from afar, but right now, right at that moment, it was only fanning his insecurities.
Still, he poured some of the cool substance on his hand before bringing it between his boyfriend's legs. He knew what he was supposed to do, that he had to smear the lube all over Die's lower body, that he would have to prepare him, stretch him to make it as less painful as possible and yet he hesitated a few seconds, everything being too much for his aroused state of mind.
The moment was somewhat utterly intense and the redhead had been watching Kaoru's doings without being able to avert his gaze for a single moment even. He was slightly biting his lower lip now, trying to force the nervousness away and to concentrate on the heat and the pleasant feelings between them. He was certain he would be able to go through with it, wanted to do it so badly, and just nodded encouragingly at the older teenager.
He closed his eyes, and soon he could feel tentative fingers circle the lower region of his body, rimming his entrance before one digit was pushed past the tight ring of muscles. It didn't hurt at first that much, only felt weird, but when it was pushed deeper, a second finger following, it caused a sting of pain that instantly made Die freak out. He couldn't help it and no matter how much he tried to just hold on and wait until it'd get better he simply couldn't. Grabbing his boyfriend's shoulders he tried to gain his attention, his voice barely audible as he spoke quickly. "Kao... I-" There was a blush on his cheeks even, and he was clearly embarrassed. "I can't..."
Immediately, the older teen pulled his digits back and sat up on his heels. There was a deep red on adorning his cheeks as he was at least equally embarrassed, still nervous and highly aroused. It hadn't even felt bad to push his finger into the other teen, to feel the muscles grab it and contract around it; had made him imagine what the incredible tightness would feel like once he buried his arousal inside him. Swallowing a couple of times, he tried to steady his voice. "Did I... did I do something wrong?" He had to be sure, because hey, he had never done something like that.
The first answer was a firm headshake and the younger one instantly hurried to deny that. "No! It's just..." He didn't know how to explain it and just sat up, initiating a deep kiss to calm both of them down. That was at least something they enjoyed endlessly and that was familiar to them. When they parted Die still looked embarrassed, his cheeks deep red when he whispered his confession. "I'm just scared."
A relieved sigh fell from Kaoru's lips and he smiled a bit. "I'm scared too," he admitted nodding and stole another kiss from his boyfriend. Maybe they had overdone it, had wanted too much too fast and should have taken one step after another instead. But it wasn't too late for that yet, was it? Tentatively, his tongue still involved in a playful fight with Die's, he brought his hand back to the other teen's groin and laced his fingers around the still present arousal, beginning to stroke him firmly.
That caused a long groan to escape the younger one and he instinctively tried to move his hips into the touch to gain more of it. He still wanted it, wanted Kaoru and was more than relieved that he wasn't mad at him for breaking it at that point. Almost instantly he already mirrored the advances, bringing his hand to his boyfriend's arousal to pay him back all the delicious touches.
They were pushing each other higher and higher and very much to Kaoru's surprise, he wasn't nervous at all anymore. Pleasure had invaded his body and mind, and he was writing and squirming against his boyfriend without ever forgetting to give him as much as he received. Everything was so good that it was over all too soon, his orgasm coming so unexpected that he had no time to warn Die nor make sure he didn't get stained. Although deeply embarrassed about that, he kept on working him, wanting to see the expression of bliss on his face too.
It didn't take long and the redhead followed, tensing as the orgasm washed over him. A small outcry escaped him at the same moment as he wasn't able to hold it back, too lost in the sensations. He was totally out of breath but smiling as he felt better than in a long time, if ever, when he was allowed to cuddle close against the older teen. "Thank you," he whispered, not even completely sure himself what was the thing he wanted to thank for the most. To underline the statement he stole a deep, but short kiss.
Although sweaty and stained, they were cuddling all night long, not even thinking about leaving their secret hideout just yet. The fact that they hadn't gone all the way didn't seem to bother either of them, at least Kaoru didn't take it personally that his boyfriend had broken the moment. Quite the contrary, he was having self-reproaches, because he should have known to take one step after and not just want everything at once.