rabenhorst (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rabenhorst) wrote2008-08-18 08:20 pm
rabenhorst) wrote2008-08-18 08:20 pm
(no subject)
Title: Worlds Collide; Chapter 1
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
seinen_no and fonulyn
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Die and Kaoru
Disclaimer: We own no one, only our dirty imaginations.
Summary: As children the son of the Lord and the slave-boy were best of friends and the most important persons in each other’s lives. That was torn apart when the son of the Lord was sent away to get his education, and the boys were denied every form of keeping in contact. What happens when they meet again after all those years, now grown to be gorgeous young men, both bound by their place in the society?
Comments:
seinen_no: So, this is a story we have written quite some time ago already. I don't even know when, but it must have been a year or so. We never got to post it until now, because it was hard to edit it and then we initially wanted to wait till we have written the planned sequel too. So, the sequel still only exists in our heads, but my hunney really really wanted to post this and who am I to deny her her wish?
First of all, please be kind with us. I know the story is totally weird and wacked, but we both really love it somehow! It's sometimes a bit rough (especially in later chapters) and you might ask yourself "WHAT?". Still, I promise it's dripping romantic in between anyways. There might be some plot-mistakes, I am not completely sure. Just over-read them if you find any or then let us know. This has been written so quick and we just developed the whole world while writing that there might be some logical mistakes which now slip us because we've become blind to them.
Otherwise, enjoy and let us know what you think!
fonulyn: Well well, what to say that would bring anything new to the information already shared XD This is an older story and while one might see it in the writing-style (as we’ve hopefully developed a bit XD) I still like the idea of the story and the plot. It might turn out better if we re-wrote it now, but then it would also lose something of its original idea and mood. And I’m STILL determined to once write the sequel that now is still missing! Just be gentle with us and the possible flaws in the plot XD And of course, enjoy!
And feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive .
Worlds Collide
Chapter 1
Things hadn't changed as much throughout the years of his absence as he had feared. The huge ballroom was set with the same solid wooden tables, the marble fountain in the middle running with precious red wine just as he remembered it from his childhood. His father had just given a speech about how proud he was of his eldest son, him, and had just sat down between Kaoru and his younger brother Tanaka. But most of the feast passed the young man with the auburn hair and the almost black eyes by unnoticed as he was lost in the nostalgia of the past.
His father and brother were trying to run a conversation with him, but he answered only shortly, distractedly, as his attention was somewhere else. So he didn't even notice the dark glance his brother cast at him. As a child, Tanaka had always looked up to his older brother, had tried to follow him everywhere possible. But now, as Kaoru had been away Tanaka had had to notice how much he was left in the shadow of his brother, even though said brother wasn't there anymore. But now Kaoru was back, much to his father's delight.
The lord didn't notice his son's slight distraction most of the time, too caught up in the moment of festivities. Kaoru's mind was elsewhere though, his eyes on the redheaded slave who was serving food with a sweet and polite smile. He remembered him, more than well, as after all they had grown up together.
Before he had been sent away to receive a decent education, to become a military leader, study history, languages and mathematics, Kaoru had been friends with Daisuke, the slave. The pregnancy had been troublesome for his mother and doctors had told her that, if she carried that child to term, her life would be in danger. But Kaoru's mother had been a faithful woman and had prayed day and night to the merciful goddess that she can take her life, but should spare the child.
So it came to pass at the night when Kaoru had taken his first breath, his mother had passed away. A young slave woman who had been pregnant at the same time was chosen to become his foster mother. It was Daisuke's mother. The two boys had grown up like brothers, had shared everything, oblivious to the fact that they had been born into two different casts which forbid emotional relationships. They had shared their whole childhood together, just like eaquals.
When the time came for Daisuke to begin with his duties, begin to work really, Kaoru was already supposed to leave to get his education. That had been a huge change in the redhead's life, as he suddenly had to learn his place. He was no longer a child, who was allowed to simply grow up and play, but now he was supposed to take full responsibility for his share of the work. He had learned it fast though, and managed to adjust to the situation, to accept the place he had been born into.
He couldn't deny that he was somehow happy to see the young master come back though. He still remembered how they had been friends, and that alone let a small excited but pleasant feeling well up inside of him when he saw him again. It made him smile even more that evening than usually, adding up to his happy behaviour. Kaoru could still remember the day he had been sent away almost ten years ago. It had broken his heart to be dragged away from his best and only friend. The two boys had clung to each other, had cried and begged to be allowed to stay together until Kaoru's father had divided them and slapped his son hard in the face. The man had regretted to ever have allowed the two to become this close.
It was against the rules. Slaves and noble men were born into their rank, chosen by the goddess and it wasn't in the powers of a human to change that or to rebel against this rule. Even now as he was almost twenty years old, the remembrance of this parting made Kaoru's stomach twitch unpleasantly and he could still feel the burning pain on his cheek where his father had slapped him. That day, he had believed that he could never live without his friend. But when you are a child, you tend to have a twisted view on things and throughout the years, he had learned to accept the doctrines of this society and had made them his own.
Still, he couldn't deny that the sight of the redhead made his heart beat a bit faster in joy. Of course he would never admit nor show it since an emotional attachment to a slave was impossible for somebody of his rank. He would lead his father's work on once, would rule over his realm and become the perfect son he was supposed to be.
The day when they had parted had affected the redhead a lot too, and he still remembered every detail of it; how they had begged to be allowed to stay together, and how eventually his mother had dragged him away and locked him up in the small room where they slept. He had cried himself to sleep that night, and many nights after that. But soon he had had too many things to do to keep up with his new duties, that there had been no time to dwell in the past or the sorrows.
He had never forgotten though, although with time it had become easier for him to go through his life as it was. After all, he wasn't one of those most unlucky slaves. He was a household-slave, working inside, serving food and helping with everything needed, occasionally sharing a bed with a noble guest. It hadn't passed by unnoticed how he had natural red hair and smooth, white skin that attracted most people.
Those aspects caught Kaoru's attention as well and while his father kept on talking about politics, he watched the slaves serving drinks and food. Although there were stunningly beautiful female slaves around, he only had eyes for his old friend. Die, as he had called him when they had been young, had grown to become a gorgeous man. His cheekbones were a bit higher now, accentuated his big deep brown eyes which were framed by a puff of short red hair, showing the traditional mark of a slave in the back of his neck which was tattooed to slaves when they were young.
But although Die's features had become harder by age, there was still a certain softness in them, underlined by his rosy cheeks and the lush mouth with its full lips; so much unlike Kaoru himself whose features were sharp and made him appear more serious and even melancholy sometimes.
No one could've noticed that Die had his eyes on Kaoru almost all the time as well. He still did everything he was supposed to do, filled everyone's glass when needed, brought more food as people were eating it, always smiling when he did so. But he had learned to watch people by the way so that they wouldn't notice, and now used that to observe his old friend. He was glad when he noticed the other looking at him, assuming that it meant he remembered, and impatiently waiting for the feast to be over so that he could maybe exchange a few words with him. As for the time being, he remained in his role as a perfect slave.
Once or twice, their gazes met directly and Kaoru couldn't really place the feeling it elicited inside him. Part of him was happy to see his old friend so well and another part was troubled, because he knew what was included in Die's duties. Inwardly, he asked himself how he should act towards him, but soon got a grip on himself and reclaimed to what he had been taught about his rank and the reason for slaves. His father had recommended a certain woman, young, wide hips, slim waist, huge brown eyes and long hair, but he didn't feel like sharing his bed with anybody that night. Still, it troubled him to see the redhead flirt with some of the noble men. At least to him it appeared like that.
The festivities lasted long into the night, but finally people were heading to their rooms. Die had hoped he could silently follow Kaoru to exchange a few words with him, happy to see his friend again, but he was ordered to spend the night with a noble man who came from far away, a big man with wide shoulders and loud laughter. The redhead wasn't particularly happy about the turn of the events, but there was nothing he could do, and he had learned to deal with his position and his fate.
Suspiciously, Kaoru watched the redhead retreat with the guest and he couldn't deny that it disturbed him a lot. He knew that it was his duty and kept on telling himself that he shouldn't be bothered by something like that. Declining his father's offer about the girl once again, he stood up, only wanting to retreat to the silence of his room.
It was somewhere in the early morning hours when Die finally got to retreat to his own bed, trying to get a bit sleep before he would have to get up in the morning to help setting up breakfast. He was exhausted, his whole being aching, but still he couldn't sleep for some reason. His thoughts kept on circling around Kaoru and his return, and he still was smiling to himself as he thought he could finally meet his friend again.
Said young man had been up early as well, the impressions of his return and meeting his father, brother, relatives and finally seeing his childhood friend again keeping sleep away from him. Against his usual habit to work out right after waking up, he staid in his room though, sat on his bed and tried to sort his thoughts. His father had made clear that he wanted him to take his place once, to rule his realm and take care of politics while Tanaka would only be his right hand.
Somehow he had thought that the reunion with his younger brother would be more hearty and warm as they had gotten along well as children. Tanaka had looked up to him, had idealized his older brother as it was likely, but last night, he had cast short fierce glances at Kaoru, jealousy clearly visible in his eyes.
The day started out hectic, and so Die didn't have time to get to talk to Kaoru at any point. The house was still full of guests who hadn't left after the previous night's party, and so the slaves and servants had much more to do than normally. Die only saw his old friend once, when he had finished breakfast and was going outside apparently. Although the redhead still had things to attend, he couldn't resist the temptation and followed in a distance, wanting to know where the other man was heading.
Apparently Kaoru had decided to calm his racing thoughts by training his body and get exhausted. He chose one of the guards to become his sparring partner and they began with fencing. But the young man wasn't focused enough for that and so they put aside the weapons soon to wrestle. A fistfight was just what he needed to get his mind off all the things that had been crushing down on him since his return, to get the reunion with Daisuke out of his head. It was a warm, bright day and although it was long till noon still, the sun was burning mercilessly already, made sweat flow down his and his partner's body in torrents.
Somehow Die got stuck stating at the scene. He was standing in the shadows, near the building and leaned against the wall, his eyes on the two figures. Just seeing the other man brought back all these old memories, and for a short moment he even forgot about his duties. Kaoru wasn't aware of the redhead and finally truly managed to focus on the fight. His opponent was strong and skilled, demanding all of his attention.
After the slim auburn-haired man had landed some hits, he got kicked off his feet though and finally lay underneath the tall guard. Once he had banged his hand on the mattress thrice, the other one released him and helped him up. Both men were laughing, exchanged a few words and walked towards the huge marble pool which was located near the training site to get rid of the sweat. Still chatting, Kaoru got out of his trousers and jumped into the cold water, diving a few paces. Seeing that made Die smile brightly as he clearly remembered the first time his friend had gone swimming. They had been playing at the beach and the redhead's mother had suggested they should take a swim.
---
"No!" Kaoru shook his head stubbornly, tears already welling in his eyes. "I don't want to. The water looks mean. I'm afraid."
The defiance in the other boy's voice made Die smile, not in a mocking way though, but more friendly. "Come on, it'll be fun!" He was excited, his eyes sparkling since he loved the water, always had.
Kaoru didn't seem to be that eager though. He still shook his head and sat down on the ground to show he was determined to stay on shore. Die's mother didn't manage to convince him either, even when she said that a young master should know how to swim and Kaoru's father would be really disappointed if he heard that his son was a coward. Those words had caused the older boy to ponder as he always feared his father's fits of rage whenever he had done something wrong, but he still refused. "I won't go."
"Come on." Die took a step forward towards his friend, reaching out his hand for him. "It'll be fun." He tried his most convincing smile, nodding encouragingly at the slightly older boy. "I'll be there with you."
Kaoru first looked at the hand in front of him and then straight into his friend's eyes. Slowly, he reached out his own hand, took a hold of the other's and dragged himself up. If it hadn't been for Die, he would've never dared to go swimming in the ocean, but he trusted him and believed Die would make sure he wouldn't drown.
The older boy was still shivering a bit as they stepped into the cool water, clutching his friend's hand in his. Slowly he began to relax though, and in the end they had so much fun that he didn't even notice when Die let go of his hand. The redhaired boy still staid close to the other one though, wanting to make sure to be there and help him if necessary.
Since Die already knew how to swim, he taught his friend playfully and soon all fears Kaoru had had had were gone. If it hadn't been for the redhead, he would've never taken that step though.
---
The moment Kaoru's head appeared above the surface again, he thought back at this very instance in the past as well. Although he was a grown man now, he still avoided swimming in the ocean. Only the remembrance of his friend holding his hand, smiling encouragingly always made him overcome this insecurity.
Die had been so lost in the memory that he didn't even notice how much time had passed. He was brought back to reality though, when he heard his name being called. Startling, he quickly made his way inside, casting one last long glance at his old friend before returning to his tasks. The young heir had heard the shout too, but when he turned his head into the direction, shielding his eyes against the sun with his hand, he didn't see anybody.
Somehow, he had lost the mood to swim now and quickly got out of the pool, a slave already standing there to hand him a towel and fresh clothes. Kaoru was iffy about what he should do with his free time now. When he had been away, his day had been stuffed with studies and exercises until the evening, but now that he was back home, he had nothing to do really. So he decided to go and talk to his father to ask him if there was some duty waiting for him, just something to keep him from getting bored and become lazy.
The redhead had no time to get bored though, since as soon as he got back inside there were heaps of things waiting to be done. But in time came his short break to get something to eat. He always ate with his mother in one corner of the kitchen, just chatting about the day and what it had brought. This time Die wasn't able to cover his enthusiasm about the fact that his friend was home again. When his mother asked him about what suddenly made him smile even more than usual, he honestly told her that the reason was the return of the master's eldest son.
The woman smiled softly and put her hand on his forearm. "Daisuke, don't get too excited about his homecoming. Things have changed. You're no child anymore. You are a slave and he is a warrior, the lord's son. It is not very likely that he'll even talk to you anymore."
"But..." For a moment Die froze, but then just didn't come up with anything really clever to say. "We were friends..." He only muttered the words under his breath, his head bowed down so he wasn't sure if his mother even heard him.
His mother sighed deeply and brushed her hand through his silky hair. "That was long ago." She loved her son dearly, but she had always feared that he would once forget his place in society and get hurt because of it. Inwardly, she had been glad when the two boys had been separated since it gave her son the opportunity to learn to accept his fate better than when they would've staid together and he had to watch Kaoru grow distant and colder towards him slowly. "Just do as you are supposed to, please." They had a good life there, compared to other slaves, but she knew that the punishment for rebelling against the goddess' law was painful torture or death even.
"I'm not going to do anything stupid." Die smiled at his mother honestly. Trying to talk with an old friend wasn't stupid, was it? He knew he shouldn't get his hopes too high, but still he remembered how good friends they had been, and had noticed how Kaoru had obviously recognized him the night before. "And don't worry mom, I will do everything I'm supposed to."
"You are a good boy." The woman smiled relieved. "And now better get back to work. You have been late and have to make it up for that now." She nodded towards the door, signalling him to leave.
Meanwhile, Kaoru had been visiting his father in the huge working room and had listened to an endless row of uninteresting explanations about politics. He had always been more the practical type of guy, had always preferred to participate in battle himself than to just watch it from a distance. It wasn't that he didn't understand how politics worked, it was only that he wasn't interested.
Die did as his mother had told him, and went to fulfil his duties. He always just helped wherever needed, and at this time of the day he was supposed to go collect the dirty laundry from the rooms to get them washed. Usually he did it together with another servant, but this time she was busy with the guests who still hadn't left, and so he had to finish the task alone. He didn't mind though, as it gave him time to think.
When he was rushing down a long corridor, he bumped into one of the head-servants who stopped his track. "You there, wait." The man gestured for him to halt. "The young master wishes to take a snack in his room. Go and get something for him. Chop chop."
"Alright." Die nodded instantly, turning on his heels to go get something from the kitchen. He was somewhat excited even, because finally he would get the chance to see Kaoru at least. As he was standing next to the door with a tray in his hands he couldn't help but to be nervous though. Still he knocked slightly to let him know he was coming in, before pushing the door open.
Kaoru was sitting at his desk, writing a letter to his uncle who had educated him the past years. He didn't even turn around to see who it was and only nodded towards another small table. "Just leave it there." But then, something caught his attention as the aura in the room had changed. So he turned around only to freeze when he spotted his old friend so close behind him. For a split second, he fought the urge to jump up and hug him, to show him that what they had shared as children was still there. But he didn't, his rank forbid it. So he just kept on looking at him thoroughly.
Die smiled, but couldn't help to be a bit insecure. He didn't know what to say, and knew that technically it wasn't his place to say anything, just obey the commands. Slowly he set the tray down, still looking for words worth saying. He couldn't have started with mere 'hi' or anything.
It was Kaoru who broke the spell and dismissed him with a simple "Thank you." The other man's presence made him feel awkward and he just wanted to get rid of him, thinking the feeling would leave as soon as Die was gone. The younger man flinched a bit, opening his mouth to say something. He sensed the change in the atmosphere though, somehow noticed how awkward the young master felt. The smile died on his face and he just bowed slightly, turning around to get out of the room.
As soon as the door had closed behind him, Kaoru rubbed his face with his palm. Why hadn't he been more friendly, hadn't said something kind? Throughout the first years of his absence, he had missed his friend dearly, would have wanted to share this new life with him. The feeling had faded with time though until it had made way for the taught knowledge that Die was nothing but a slave; nobody one should feel affection for. Against his hopes, the weird feeling remained even now that the other man had left. It was confusing since Kaoru had no idea about its origin, but regretted his decision to have acted like a true master towards a servant.
For a moment Die remained right outside the door, leaning against the wall, his eyes closed. He had a lump in his throat, disappointment weighing heavy on his shoulders. He didn't even know why he was so hurt, reacting so forcefully towards something he should've expected already. He stayed there silently for a while, before forcing himself to move and to get back to his work.
The next time they saw was at dinner; Kaoru sitting with his father and brother at the head of the long table. Some of the guests were still there and so the slaves had a lot of work to do. The elder heir couldn't take his eyes off his friend, would've wanted to exchange a few words with him. But when he saw one of his cousins cast longer glances at the beautiful redhead, he grit his teeth in disdain. Of course, common sense told him that there was nothing Die could do about this, but still he blamed him for being cheap, not caring that he contradicted his own actions as he himself had shared the bed with slaves more often as well.
Although the redhead was still smiling as he served the food, it was a thoroughly fake smile. There was something frozen in his eyes, and the happy expression was clearly forced if one looked more closely. He tried to avoid looking at Kaoru, didn't want to see the weird look that told him that past was only past, nothing more. And it was over now.
No matter what Kaoru did, his eyes always found their way to the redhead and so did his thoughts. He couldn't help it, but being confronted with the other man again brought back old memories and with them the remembrance that they had promised to remain friends for all eternity. They had been playing catching and Die had fallen to the ground, blood dripping from a deep cut in his finger.
---
"Don't cry." Kaoru knelt down next to his friend, examining the wound, but tears kept on falling from the redhead's eyes, dripping from his chin to the ground.
"But it hurts..." Die choked back a sob, trying hard not to cry although the tears kept on falling. He held his wounded hand in his other hand, staring at it as if he could make the blood stop flowing with his mere will. "It hurts." He whispered again, nodding a tiny bit like confirming the words.
In lack of a cloth or anything to bandage the wound, Kaoru grabbed the shred which had been the reason for the redhead's misery and quickly cut his own finger with it. Instantly, a flow of bright red blood appeared and he had to suppress the tears as well because it truly hurt. Forcing a smile on his lips, he presented the wound to his friend. "See, now we share the same pain."
The younger boy bit his lower lip, turning his gaze to look at the wound, before looking his friend in the eye. He didn't say anything, the tears still running from his wide, huge eyes, but he smiled a bit, already feeling better somehow. It still wasn't enough for the slightly older boy though and he took his friend's wounded hand in his own, pressing their fingers together. "And now we are bloodbrothers. You know what that means?" The question went along with a bright smile. "We'll be friends forever."
"Really?" Die seemed to totally have forgotten to cry, the pain gone, and just stared at their joined fingers in awe. Slowly a bright smile spread over his face, the familiar sparkle appearing in his eyes again. "Forever?"
"Don't you believe me?" Kaoru sounded hurt. "I mean what I said. Friends forever. Unless...," He paused for a moment, looking his friend directly in the eyes to see his reaction. "Unless you don't want to."
"Of course I want to!" The other boy nodded frantically, a few merry chuckles escaping him. "I believe you. Friends forever." To seal the deal, they hugged each other tightly, remaining in the warm embrace for a moment.
---
Only now that Kaoru remembered his promise, remembered how it had been to embrace the redhead, he couldn't stand the thought that somebody else but he himself would be allowed to hold that body in his arms. "Father, I want Daisuke for tonight." He knew that, although he was the second powerful man in the house, he still had to ask, since his father had ordered Die to be there for the guests.
The lord startled a bit at the words, but mostly because he hadn't been listening. He cast a short glance at the redhead, nodding simultaneously. "Alright, take what you wish." He didn't seem to even remember that there had ever been anything like friendship between his son and the slave. Tanaka remembered it though, and he had also seen the long glances his brother had cast at the redhead. And in his eyes it looked like Kaoru was a bit too interested in the other man. Still he kept silent, storing the information somewhere in his mind.
Kaoru tried to hide his excitement and only beckoned a servant, telling him that he expected Die to await him in his room after dinner. He was so much lost in thoughts that his brother's suspicious glances passed him by completely unnoticed. From then on, his mood brightened considerably and he even chatted merrily with his father and some of the guests, telling them stories about the battles he had fought and about his education.
As the dinner was nearing its end a servant signalled Die he should come closer, and as he obeyed, he was informed that he wouldn't need to take part in clearing the table after dinner. Instead he was would be awaited in the young master's room. It wasn't anything uncommon for Die to get orders like that, but the fact that it was Kaoru made his heart beat faster, and not only in a pleasant way. He nodded though, instantly doing as he had been told and went to the right room.
Kaoru hesitated before his door for a short moment, the hand already on the handle. He hadn't thought this through, had no idea what had caused him to ask for a night with his former best friend. His heart was beating fast and his throat was like laced up. Initially, he would've only wanted to make his bad encounter from the morning with the other one undone, but now he wasn't so sure if this had been the only reason. The mere thought of Die sharing the bed with another man had become unbearable for him and he simply had to have him for himself. So he took a deep breath and entered his chamber, taking on a calm expression which didn't give away any of the troubles that were going on inside him.
Die had been sitting on a single chair beside the table, just trying to calm himself down because he was confused, not knowing what was going on. It couldn't be that Kaoru wanted what everyone else wanted from him, could it? When he saw the other man enter the room he quickly stood up, casting his eyes down like he should.
The young master approached him slowly and for a short moment, it looked as if he would hug him. It had been his first impulse, but Kaoru refrained himself, practically hearing his mentor's voice in his head who told him that slaves were only good for fun and not for the heart. "You've grown to be a handsome man," he said, his voice steady although he was shaking inside. For the first time in ten years, he had no idea what to say. Should he just order the other to undress and get on the bed?
Die nodded slightly, politely keeping his eyes cast down. "Thank you." For some reason the whole moment just seemed so awkward, so unreal that he almost could convince himself that it wasn't really happening.
Kaoru would have just wanted to touch him, to run his fingers through the red hair, across the soft cheeks, kiss those full lips and feel that the other man felt affection towards him as well. But he couldn't, wasn't ready to act against what had been taught him almost all his life. He was barely able to hide the disappointment about the redhead's reaction towards him. "Undress and get on the bed." The words just slipped out of his throat. If there was no friendship anymore, nothing like affection between them, then he could at least own the redhead's body, would take what in his eyes was rightfully his.
The words made Die close his eyes for a moment, reality crashing down on him. He would've wanted to look the other man in the eye, to search those depths to see if there was even a tiny bit of affection left somewhere. But he didn't dare to look up, the tone in Kaoru's voice too cold and commanding. So instead he swallowed hard and nodded, doing as he had been told.
There were no gentle touches, no passion shared that night. Everything that had connected them once seemed to be gone. It came clear to both of them when Kaoru took the other man, the slave, seemingly showing him that his promise had been the stupid statement of a child and had become unimportant now that they were grown up. No single sound left his parted lips when he finally emptied himself, quickly getting away from the other man right afterwards. Kaoru curled up, his back facing Die to hide his disappointment as he had still been hoping for something more.
For a moment Die just staid still, eyes closed and not moving an inch. He couldn't divide and sort out all the emotions inside of him, but the main feeling right now was disappointment. He had thought there was something special between them, that not everything from the past days was gone. But it looked like now Kaoru was just like all the others, only after a few moments of pleasure his body could grant them.
For a while he waited still, to make sure there wasn't still something else the other wanted, before silently getting up and slipping into his clothes. He took a short glance at the other man, only to see him still lying there curled up and not even glancing back. Quickly Die left the room, the tears of disappointment and hurt burning in his eyes.
"Fuck!" The word shot out of Kaoru's mouth right after the door had been closed. His attempt to make it up to Die for the unlucky first encounter had gone awfully wrong. He blamed the other man's reluctance to show any sort of emotions towards him, and his own incapability to just cast aside ten years of being indoctrinated by his uncle's teachers. Deep down inside he knew though that he still wasn't willing to give up on their friendship, that he still wasn't willing to accept that Die was a slave, available for everybody whom his father deemed worthy.
Sighing, he rolled over and buried his face into the mattress where the other's warmth was still lingering, inhaling his scent deeply. It did something to his body and soul, something so much more the just shared act hadn't given him.
That night Die couldn't sleep, just lying awake in his bed and staring into the darkness with empty eyes. He had forced himself not to cry, and acted like everything was fine when he happened to bump into his mother on his way to bed. But now that he was alone he wasn't so sure that he could keep the tears down. He cursed himself for being such a fool, for thinking that there had ever been a chance for the friendship to last. 'Friends forever' still echoed in his mind though, like laughing at him and his naivety.
Kaoru didn't sleep either. He frantically tried to gather a clear thought, to see what he was feeling towards the redhead actually. But whenever he thought he had gripped the feeling, could put it into words, it had slipped away again. If he hadn't been so controlled, he would've cried, but he cursed his father for ever separating him from his friend; sure that this was the reason for his misery in the first place.
Author:
seinen_no and fonulynRating: NC17
Pairing: Die and Kaoru
Disclaimer: We own no one, only our dirty imaginations.
Summary: As children the son of the Lord and the slave-boy were best of friends and the most important persons in each other’s lives. That was torn apart when the son of the Lord was sent away to get his education, and the boys were denied every form of keeping in contact. What happens when they meet again after all those years, now grown to be gorgeous young men, both bound by their place in the society?
Comments:
seinen_no: So, this is a story we have written quite some time ago already. I don't even know when, but it must have been a year or so. We never got to post it until now, because it was hard to edit it and then we initially wanted to wait till we have written the planned sequel too. So, the sequel still only exists in our heads, but my hunney really really wanted to post this and who am I to deny her her wish?First of all, please be kind with us. I know the story is totally weird and wacked, but we both really love it somehow! It's sometimes a bit rough (especially in later chapters) and you might ask yourself "WHAT?". Still, I promise it's dripping romantic in between anyways. There might be some plot-mistakes, I am not completely sure. Just over-read them if you find any or then let us know. This has been written so quick and we just developed the whole world while writing that there might be some logical mistakes which now slip us because we've become blind to them.
Otherwise, enjoy and let us know what you think!
fonulyn: Well well, what to say that would bring anything new to the information already shared XD This is an older story and while one might see it in the writing-style (as we’ve hopefully developed a bit XD) I still like the idea of the story and the plot. It might turn out better if we re-wrote it now, but then it would also lose something of its original idea and mood. And I’m STILL determined to once write the sequel that now is still missing! Just be gentle with us and the possible flaws in the plot XD And of course, enjoy!And feel free to add our journal if you like the stories!
Plus, the archive .
Chapter 1
Things hadn't changed as much throughout the years of his absence as he had feared. The huge ballroom was set with the same solid wooden tables, the marble fountain in the middle running with precious red wine just as he remembered it from his childhood. His father had just given a speech about how proud he was of his eldest son, him, and had just sat down between Kaoru and his younger brother Tanaka. But most of the feast passed the young man with the auburn hair and the almost black eyes by unnoticed as he was lost in the nostalgia of the past.
His father and brother were trying to run a conversation with him, but he answered only shortly, distractedly, as his attention was somewhere else. So he didn't even notice the dark glance his brother cast at him. As a child, Tanaka had always looked up to his older brother, had tried to follow him everywhere possible. But now, as Kaoru had been away Tanaka had had to notice how much he was left in the shadow of his brother, even though said brother wasn't there anymore. But now Kaoru was back, much to his father's delight.
The lord didn't notice his son's slight distraction most of the time, too caught up in the moment of festivities. Kaoru's mind was elsewhere though, his eyes on the redheaded slave who was serving food with a sweet and polite smile. He remembered him, more than well, as after all they had grown up together.
Before he had been sent away to receive a decent education, to become a military leader, study history, languages and mathematics, Kaoru had been friends with Daisuke, the slave. The pregnancy had been troublesome for his mother and doctors had told her that, if she carried that child to term, her life would be in danger. But Kaoru's mother had been a faithful woman and had prayed day and night to the merciful goddess that she can take her life, but should spare the child.
So it came to pass at the night when Kaoru had taken his first breath, his mother had passed away. A young slave woman who had been pregnant at the same time was chosen to become his foster mother. It was Daisuke's mother. The two boys had grown up like brothers, had shared everything, oblivious to the fact that they had been born into two different casts which forbid emotional relationships. They had shared their whole childhood together, just like eaquals.
When the time came for Daisuke to begin with his duties, begin to work really, Kaoru was already supposed to leave to get his education. That had been a huge change in the redhead's life, as he suddenly had to learn his place. He was no longer a child, who was allowed to simply grow up and play, but now he was supposed to take full responsibility for his share of the work. He had learned it fast though, and managed to adjust to the situation, to accept the place he had been born into.
He couldn't deny that he was somehow happy to see the young master come back though. He still remembered how they had been friends, and that alone let a small excited but pleasant feeling well up inside of him when he saw him again. It made him smile even more that evening than usually, adding up to his happy behaviour. Kaoru could still remember the day he had been sent away almost ten years ago. It had broken his heart to be dragged away from his best and only friend. The two boys had clung to each other, had cried and begged to be allowed to stay together until Kaoru's father had divided them and slapped his son hard in the face. The man had regretted to ever have allowed the two to become this close.
It was against the rules. Slaves and noble men were born into their rank, chosen by the goddess and it wasn't in the powers of a human to change that or to rebel against this rule. Even now as he was almost twenty years old, the remembrance of this parting made Kaoru's stomach twitch unpleasantly and he could still feel the burning pain on his cheek where his father had slapped him. That day, he had believed that he could never live without his friend. But when you are a child, you tend to have a twisted view on things and throughout the years, he had learned to accept the doctrines of this society and had made them his own.
Still, he couldn't deny that the sight of the redhead made his heart beat a bit faster in joy. Of course he would never admit nor show it since an emotional attachment to a slave was impossible for somebody of his rank. He would lead his father's work on once, would rule over his realm and become the perfect son he was supposed to be.
The day when they had parted had affected the redhead a lot too, and he still remembered every detail of it; how they had begged to be allowed to stay together, and how eventually his mother had dragged him away and locked him up in the small room where they slept. He had cried himself to sleep that night, and many nights after that. But soon he had had too many things to do to keep up with his new duties, that there had been no time to dwell in the past or the sorrows.
He had never forgotten though, although with time it had become easier for him to go through his life as it was. After all, he wasn't one of those most unlucky slaves. He was a household-slave, working inside, serving food and helping with everything needed, occasionally sharing a bed with a noble guest. It hadn't passed by unnoticed how he had natural red hair and smooth, white skin that attracted most people.
Those aspects caught Kaoru's attention as well and while his father kept on talking about politics, he watched the slaves serving drinks and food. Although there were stunningly beautiful female slaves around, he only had eyes for his old friend. Die, as he had called him when they had been young, had grown to become a gorgeous man. His cheekbones were a bit higher now, accentuated his big deep brown eyes which were framed by a puff of short red hair, showing the traditional mark of a slave in the back of his neck which was tattooed to slaves when they were young.
But although Die's features had become harder by age, there was still a certain softness in them, underlined by his rosy cheeks and the lush mouth with its full lips; so much unlike Kaoru himself whose features were sharp and made him appear more serious and even melancholy sometimes.
No one could've noticed that Die had his eyes on Kaoru almost all the time as well. He still did everything he was supposed to do, filled everyone's glass when needed, brought more food as people were eating it, always smiling when he did so. But he had learned to watch people by the way so that they wouldn't notice, and now used that to observe his old friend. He was glad when he noticed the other looking at him, assuming that it meant he remembered, and impatiently waiting for the feast to be over so that he could maybe exchange a few words with him. As for the time being, he remained in his role as a perfect slave.
Once or twice, their gazes met directly and Kaoru couldn't really place the feeling it elicited inside him. Part of him was happy to see his old friend so well and another part was troubled, because he knew what was included in Die's duties. Inwardly, he asked himself how he should act towards him, but soon got a grip on himself and reclaimed to what he had been taught about his rank and the reason for slaves. His father had recommended a certain woman, young, wide hips, slim waist, huge brown eyes and long hair, but he didn't feel like sharing his bed with anybody that night. Still, it troubled him to see the redhead flirt with some of the noble men. At least to him it appeared like that.
The festivities lasted long into the night, but finally people were heading to their rooms. Die had hoped he could silently follow Kaoru to exchange a few words with him, happy to see his friend again, but he was ordered to spend the night with a noble man who came from far away, a big man with wide shoulders and loud laughter. The redhead wasn't particularly happy about the turn of the events, but there was nothing he could do, and he had learned to deal with his position and his fate.
Suspiciously, Kaoru watched the redhead retreat with the guest and he couldn't deny that it disturbed him a lot. He knew that it was his duty and kept on telling himself that he shouldn't be bothered by something like that. Declining his father's offer about the girl once again, he stood up, only wanting to retreat to the silence of his room.
It was somewhere in the early morning hours when Die finally got to retreat to his own bed, trying to get a bit sleep before he would have to get up in the morning to help setting up breakfast. He was exhausted, his whole being aching, but still he couldn't sleep for some reason. His thoughts kept on circling around Kaoru and his return, and he still was smiling to himself as he thought he could finally meet his friend again.
Said young man had been up early as well, the impressions of his return and meeting his father, brother, relatives and finally seeing his childhood friend again keeping sleep away from him. Against his usual habit to work out right after waking up, he staid in his room though, sat on his bed and tried to sort his thoughts. His father had made clear that he wanted him to take his place once, to rule his realm and take care of politics while Tanaka would only be his right hand.
Somehow he had thought that the reunion with his younger brother would be more hearty and warm as they had gotten along well as children. Tanaka had looked up to him, had idealized his older brother as it was likely, but last night, he had cast short fierce glances at Kaoru, jealousy clearly visible in his eyes.
The day started out hectic, and so Die didn't have time to get to talk to Kaoru at any point. The house was still full of guests who hadn't left after the previous night's party, and so the slaves and servants had much more to do than normally. Die only saw his old friend once, when he had finished breakfast and was going outside apparently. Although the redhead still had things to attend, he couldn't resist the temptation and followed in a distance, wanting to know where the other man was heading.
Apparently Kaoru had decided to calm his racing thoughts by training his body and get exhausted. He chose one of the guards to become his sparring partner and they began with fencing. But the young man wasn't focused enough for that and so they put aside the weapons soon to wrestle. A fistfight was just what he needed to get his mind off all the things that had been crushing down on him since his return, to get the reunion with Daisuke out of his head. It was a warm, bright day and although it was long till noon still, the sun was burning mercilessly already, made sweat flow down his and his partner's body in torrents.
Somehow Die got stuck stating at the scene. He was standing in the shadows, near the building and leaned against the wall, his eyes on the two figures. Just seeing the other man brought back all these old memories, and for a short moment he even forgot about his duties. Kaoru wasn't aware of the redhead and finally truly managed to focus on the fight. His opponent was strong and skilled, demanding all of his attention.
After the slim auburn-haired man had landed some hits, he got kicked off his feet though and finally lay underneath the tall guard. Once he had banged his hand on the mattress thrice, the other one released him and helped him up. Both men were laughing, exchanged a few words and walked towards the huge marble pool which was located near the training site to get rid of the sweat. Still chatting, Kaoru got out of his trousers and jumped into the cold water, diving a few paces. Seeing that made Die smile brightly as he clearly remembered the first time his friend had gone swimming. They had been playing at the beach and the redhead's mother had suggested they should take a swim.
"No!" Kaoru shook his head stubbornly, tears already welling in his eyes. "I don't want to. The water looks mean. I'm afraid."
The defiance in the other boy's voice made Die smile, not in a mocking way though, but more friendly. "Come on, it'll be fun!" He was excited, his eyes sparkling since he loved the water, always had.
Kaoru didn't seem to be that eager though. He still shook his head and sat down on the ground to show he was determined to stay on shore. Die's mother didn't manage to convince him either, even when she said that a young master should know how to swim and Kaoru's father would be really disappointed if he heard that his son was a coward. Those words had caused the older boy to ponder as he always feared his father's fits of rage whenever he had done something wrong, but he still refused. "I won't go."
"Come on." Die took a step forward towards his friend, reaching out his hand for him. "It'll be fun." He tried his most convincing smile, nodding encouragingly at the slightly older boy. "I'll be there with you."
Kaoru first looked at the hand in front of him and then straight into his friend's eyes. Slowly, he reached out his own hand, took a hold of the other's and dragged himself up. If it hadn't been for Die, he would've never dared to go swimming in the ocean, but he trusted him and believed Die would make sure he wouldn't drown.
The older boy was still shivering a bit as they stepped into the cool water, clutching his friend's hand in his. Slowly he began to relax though, and in the end they had so much fun that he didn't even notice when Die let go of his hand. The redhaired boy still staid close to the other one though, wanting to make sure to be there and help him if necessary.
Since Die already knew how to swim, he taught his friend playfully and soon all fears Kaoru had had had were gone. If it hadn't been for the redhead, he would've never taken that step though.
The moment Kaoru's head appeared above the surface again, he thought back at this very instance in the past as well. Although he was a grown man now, he still avoided swimming in the ocean. Only the remembrance of his friend holding his hand, smiling encouragingly always made him overcome this insecurity.
Die had been so lost in the memory that he didn't even notice how much time had passed. He was brought back to reality though, when he heard his name being called. Startling, he quickly made his way inside, casting one last long glance at his old friend before returning to his tasks. The young heir had heard the shout too, but when he turned his head into the direction, shielding his eyes against the sun with his hand, he didn't see anybody.
Somehow, he had lost the mood to swim now and quickly got out of the pool, a slave already standing there to hand him a towel and fresh clothes. Kaoru was iffy about what he should do with his free time now. When he had been away, his day had been stuffed with studies and exercises until the evening, but now that he was back home, he had nothing to do really. So he decided to go and talk to his father to ask him if there was some duty waiting for him, just something to keep him from getting bored and become lazy.
The redhead had no time to get bored though, since as soon as he got back inside there were heaps of things waiting to be done. But in time came his short break to get something to eat. He always ate with his mother in one corner of the kitchen, just chatting about the day and what it had brought. This time Die wasn't able to cover his enthusiasm about the fact that his friend was home again. When his mother asked him about what suddenly made him smile even more than usual, he honestly told her that the reason was the return of the master's eldest son.
The woman smiled softly and put her hand on his forearm. "Daisuke, don't get too excited about his homecoming. Things have changed. You're no child anymore. You are a slave and he is a warrior, the lord's son. It is not very likely that he'll even talk to you anymore."
"But..." For a moment Die froze, but then just didn't come up with anything really clever to say. "We were friends..." He only muttered the words under his breath, his head bowed down so he wasn't sure if his mother even heard him.
His mother sighed deeply and brushed her hand through his silky hair. "That was long ago." She loved her son dearly, but she had always feared that he would once forget his place in society and get hurt because of it. Inwardly, she had been glad when the two boys had been separated since it gave her son the opportunity to learn to accept his fate better than when they would've staid together and he had to watch Kaoru grow distant and colder towards him slowly. "Just do as you are supposed to, please." They had a good life there, compared to other slaves, but she knew that the punishment for rebelling against the goddess' law was painful torture or death even.
"I'm not going to do anything stupid." Die smiled at his mother honestly. Trying to talk with an old friend wasn't stupid, was it? He knew he shouldn't get his hopes too high, but still he remembered how good friends they had been, and had noticed how Kaoru had obviously recognized him the night before. "And don't worry mom, I will do everything I'm supposed to."
"You are a good boy." The woman smiled relieved. "And now better get back to work. You have been late and have to make it up for that now." She nodded towards the door, signalling him to leave.
Meanwhile, Kaoru had been visiting his father in the huge working room and had listened to an endless row of uninteresting explanations about politics. He had always been more the practical type of guy, had always preferred to participate in battle himself than to just watch it from a distance. It wasn't that he didn't understand how politics worked, it was only that he wasn't interested.
Die did as his mother had told him, and went to fulfil his duties. He always just helped wherever needed, and at this time of the day he was supposed to go collect the dirty laundry from the rooms to get them washed. Usually he did it together with another servant, but this time she was busy with the guests who still hadn't left, and so he had to finish the task alone. He didn't mind though, as it gave him time to think.
When he was rushing down a long corridor, he bumped into one of the head-servants who stopped his track. "You there, wait." The man gestured for him to halt. "The young master wishes to take a snack in his room. Go and get something for him. Chop chop."
"Alright." Die nodded instantly, turning on his heels to go get something from the kitchen. He was somewhat excited even, because finally he would get the chance to see Kaoru at least. As he was standing next to the door with a tray in his hands he couldn't help but to be nervous though. Still he knocked slightly to let him know he was coming in, before pushing the door open.
Kaoru was sitting at his desk, writing a letter to his uncle who had educated him the past years. He didn't even turn around to see who it was and only nodded towards another small table. "Just leave it there." But then, something caught his attention as the aura in the room had changed. So he turned around only to freeze when he spotted his old friend so close behind him. For a split second, he fought the urge to jump up and hug him, to show him that what they had shared as children was still there. But he didn't, his rank forbid it. So he just kept on looking at him thoroughly.
Die smiled, but couldn't help to be a bit insecure. He didn't know what to say, and knew that technically it wasn't his place to say anything, just obey the commands. Slowly he set the tray down, still looking for words worth saying. He couldn't have started with mere 'hi' or anything.
It was Kaoru who broke the spell and dismissed him with a simple "Thank you." The other man's presence made him feel awkward and he just wanted to get rid of him, thinking the feeling would leave as soon as Die was gone. The younger man flinched a bit, opening his mouth to say something. He sensed the change in the atmosphere though, somehow noticed how awkward the young master felt. The smile died on his face and he just bowed slightly, turning around to get out of the room.
As soon as the door had closed behind him, Kaoru rubbed his face with his palm. Why hadn't he been more friendly, hadn't said something kind? Throughout the first years of his absence, he had missed his friend dearly, would have wanted to share this new life with him. The feeling had faded with time though until it had made way for the taught knowledge that Die was nothing but a slave; nobody one should feel affection for. Against his hopes, the weird feeling remained even now that the other man had left. It was confusing since Kaoru had no idea about its origin, but regretted his decision to have acted like a true master towards a servant.
For a moment Die remained right outside the door, leaning against the wall, his eyes closed. He had a lump in his throat, disappointment weighing heavy on his shoulders. He didn't even know why he was so hurt, reacting so forcefully towards something he should've expected already. He stayed there silently for a while, before forcing himself to move and to get back to his work.
The next time they saw was at dinner; Kaoru sitting with his father and brother at the head of the long table. Some of the guests were still there and so the slaves had a lot of work to do. The elder heir couldn't take his eyes off his friend, would've wanted to exchange a few words with him. But when he saw one of his cousins cast longer glances at the beautiful redhead, he grit his teeth in disdain. Of course, common sense told him that there was nothing Die could do about this, but still he blamed him for being cheap, not caring that he contradicted his own actions as he himself had shared the bed with slaves more often as well.
Although the redhead was still smiling as he served the food, it was a thoroughly fake smile. There was something frozen in his eyes, and the happy expression was clearly forced if one looked more closely. He tried to avoid looking at Kaoru, didn't want to see the weird look that told him that past was only past, nothing more. And it was over now.
No matter what Kaoru did, his eyes always found their way to the redhead and so did his thoughts. He couldn't help it, but being confronted with the other man again brought back old memories and with them the remembrance that they had promised to remain friends for all eternity. They had been playing catching and Die had fallen to the ground, blood dripping from a deep cut in his finger.
"Don't cry." Kaoru knelt down next to his friend, examining the wound, but tears kept on falling from the redhead's eyes, dripping from his chin to the ground.
"But it hurts..." Die choked back a sob, trying hard not to cry although the tears kept on falling. He held his wounded hand in his other hand, staring at it as if he could make the blood stop flowing with his mere will. "It hurts." He whispered again, nodding a tiny bit like confirming the words.
In lack of a cloth or anything to bandage the wound, Kaoru grabbed the shred which had been the reason for the redhead's misery and quickly cut his own finger with it. Instantly, a flow of bright red blood appeared and he had to suppress the tears as well because it truly hurt. Forcing a smile on his lips, he presented the wound to his friend. "See, now we share the same pain."
The younger boy bit his lower lip, turning his gaze to look at the wound, before looking his friend in the eye. He didn't say anything, the tears still running from his wide, huge eyes, but he smiled a bit, already feeling better somehow. It still wasn't enough for the slightly older boy though and he took his friend's wounded hand in his own, pressing their fingers together. "And now we are bloodbrothers. You know what that means?" The question went along with a bright smile. "We'll be friends forever."
"Really?" Die seemed to totally have forgotten to cry, the pain gone, and just stared at their joined fingers in awe. Slowly a bright smile spread over his face, the familiar sparkle appearing in his eyes again. "Forever?"
"Don't you believe me?" Kaoru sounded hurt. "I mean what I said. Friends forever. Unless...," He paused for a moment, looking his friend directly in the eyes to see his reaction. "Unless you don't want to."
"Of course I want to!" The other boy nodded frantically, a few merry chuckles escaping him. "I believe you. Friends forever." To seal the deal, they hugged each other tightly, remaining in the warm embrace for a moment.
Only now that Kaoru remembered his promise, remembered how it had been to embrace the redhead, he couldn't stand the thought that somebody else but he himself would be allowed to hold that body in his arms. "Father, I want Daisuke for tonight." He knew that, although he was the second powerful man in the house, he still had to ask, since his father had ordered Die to be there for the guests.
The lord startled a bit at the words, but mostly because he hadn't been listening. He cast a short glance at the redhead, nodding simultaneously. "Alright, take what you wish." He didn't seem to even remember that there had ever been anything like friendship between his son and the slave. Tanaka remembered it though, and he had also seen the long glances his brother had cast at the redhead. And in his eyes it looked like Kaoru was a bit too interested in the other man. Still he kept silent, storing the information somewhere in his mind.
Kaoru tried to hide his excitement and only beckoned a servant, telling him that he expected Die to await him in his room after dinner. He was so much lost in thoughts that his brother's suspicious glances passed him by completely unnoticed. From then on, his mood brightened considerably and he even chatted merrily with his father and some of the guests, telling them stories about the battles he had fought and about his education.
As the dinner was nearing its end a servant signalled Die he should come closer, and as he obeyed, he was informed that he wouldn't need to take part in clearing the table after dinner. Instead he was would be awaited in the young master's room. It wasn't anything uncommon for Die to get orders like that, but the fact that it was Kaoru made his heart beat faster, and not only in a pleasant way. He nodded though, instantly doing as he had been told and went to the right room.
Kaoru hesitated before his door for a short moment, the hand already on the handle. He hadn't thought this through, had no idea what had caused him to ask for a night with his former best friend. His heart was beating fast and his throat was like laced up. Initially, he would've only wanted to make his bad encounter from the morning with the other one undone, but now he wasn't so sure if this had been the only reason. The mere thought of Die sharing the bed with another man had become unbearable for him and he simply had to have him for himself. So he took a deep breath and entered his chamber, taking on a calm expression which didn't give away any of the troubles that were going on inside him.
Die had been sitting on a single chair beside the table, just trying to calm himself down because he was confused, not knowing what was going on. It couldn't be that Kaoru wanted what everyone else wanted from him, could it? When he saw the other man enter the room he quickly stood up, casting his eyes down like he should.
The young master approached him slowly and for a short moment, it looked as if he would hug him. It had been his first impulse, but Kaoru refrained himself, practically hearing his mentor's voice in his head who told him that slaves were only good for fun and not for the heart. "You've grown to be a handsome man," he said, his voice steady although he was shaking inside. For the first time in ten years, he had no idea what to say. Should he just order the other to undress and get on the bed?
Die nodded slightly, politely keeping his eyes cast down. "Thank you." For some reason the whole moment just seemed so awkward, so unreal that he almost could convince himself that it wasn't really happening.
Kaoru would have just wanted to touch him, to run his fingers through the red hair, across the soft cheeks, kiss those full lips and feel that the other man felt affection towards him as well. But he couldn't, wasn't ready to act against what had been taught him almost all his life. He was barely able to hide the disappointment about the redhead's reaction towards him. "Undress and get on the bed." The words just slipped out of his throat. If there was no friendship anymore, nothing like affection between them, then he could at least own the redhead's body, would take what in his eyes was rightfully his.
The words made Die close his eyes for a moment, reality crashing down on him. He would've wanted to look the other man in the eye, to search those depths to see if there was even a tiny bit of affection left somewhere. But he didn't dare to look up, the tone in Kaoru's voice too cold and commanding. So instead he swallowed hard and nodded, doing as he had been told.
There were no gentle touches, no passion shared that night. Everything that had connected them once seemed to be gone. It came clear to both of them when Kaoru took the other man, the slave, seemingly showing him that his promise had been the stupid statement of a child and had become unimportant now that they were grown up. No single sound left his parted lips when he finally emptied himself, quickly getting away from the other man right afterwards. Kaoru curled up, his back facing Die to hide his disappointment as he had still been hoping for something more.
For a moment Die just staid still, eyes closed and not moving an inch. He couldn't divide and sort out all the emotions inside of him, but the main feeling right now was disappointment. He had thought there was something special between them, that not everything from the past days was gone. But it looked like now Kaoru was just like all the others, only after a few moments of pleasure his body could grant them.
For a while he waited still, to make sure there wasn't still something else the other wanted, before silently getting up and slipping into his clothes. He took a short glance at the other man, only to see him still lying there curled up and not even glancing back. Quickly Die left the room, the tears of disappointment and hurt burning in his eyes.
"Fuck!" The word shot out of Kaoru's mouth right after the door had been closed. His attempt to make it up to Die for the unlucky first encounter had gone awfully wrong. He blamed the other man's reluctance to show any sort of emotions towards him, and his own incapability to just cast aside ten years of being indoctrinated by his uncle's teachers. Deep down inside he knew though that he still wasn't willing to give up on their friendship, that he still wasn't willing to accept that Die was a slave, available for everybody whom his father deemed worthy.
Sighing, he rolled over and buried his face into the mattress where the other's warmth was still lingering, inhaling his scent deeply. It did something to his body and soul, something so much more the just shared act hadn't given him.
That night Die couldn't sleep, just lying awake in his bed and staring into the darkness with empty eyes. He had forced himself not to cry, and acted like everything was fine when he happened to bump into his mother on his way to bed. But now that he was alone he wasn't so sure that he could keep the tears down. He cursed himself for being such a fool, for thinking that there had ever been a chance for the friendship to last. 'Friends forever' still echoed in his mind though, like laughing at him and his naivety.
Kaoru didn't sleep either. He frantically tried to gather a clear thought, to see what he was feeling towards the redhead actually. But whenever he thought he had gripped the feeling, could put it into words, it had slipped away again. If he hadn't been so controlled, he would've cried, but he cursed his father for ever separating him from his friend; sure that this was the reason for his misery in the first place.