You need a beta, really badly , i keep seeing mistakes in spelling and grammar. Especially grammar, there really simple mistakes to, which drives me insane. I must admit, I'm no good with grammar either, but its pretty bad. Get a beta please, I'd even be happy to do it for you, just message me and I'll give you my e-mail.

On a more important note, the story i good, and the plots made the story lots of fun.